The Impossible Knife of Memory

I thought this book sounded wonderful, but it's just "ok". It has good information in it - particularly the afterword - and it has a good message. What I didn't like were the comparisons to superheros and the pictures that were very football oriented - that did not appeal to my daughter at all. It was written more to appeal to boys I think, which is ironic considering it's a book about a woman with the potential to motivate girls to be politically active. By making the comparisons to football and boy appealing pictures it makes it just sort of "ok" for boys or girls. It could have been a really inspiring book for girls if done differently.

The author does a tremendous job of slowly unraveling the plot of this story. In the beginning, the reader only has a sketch, a framework, on which to build the story. Even the characters are mysteries until each of their stories are filled in. I truly enjoyed this captivating tale and its satisfying conclusion.

This book defines Thanksgiving as the Pilgrims thanking the Native Americans for saving them from starvation. The truth is that the Pilgrims gave thanks to God at that historical feast. Whatever you think of God, that is an historical fact. The book is adorably done, and I love that it tells of this unsung hero who saved Thanksgiving with her perseverance and letter-writing, but Sarah Hale wanted to save Thanksgiving because she believed it would be good for the American people to reserve the day for "gratitude to the Divine giver of all our blessings." So, I find the author's revision bewildering. If you were hoping that this book would teach your children about the true meaning of Thanksgiving, or if the idea of revisionist history offends your principles, then I'm afraid you will be disappointed with this selection.

Full disclosure, I am a huge fan of Ms. Anderson. I downloaded this book the day it came out and didn't stop reading until I finished. And then I read it again. This is a beautiful book. Treat yourself and enjoy.

I actually didn't finish the book. A few chapters in, I got bored. I thought it was rather tedious. I got that the main character was cranky and angry, and most likely soft and vulnerable once you got through her shell. I chose not to wade through the process. I found it repetitive, and kept saying to myself, "o.k., I get it, let's move on."

Laurie Halse Anderson's The Impossible Knife of Memory has all the hallmarks of a young adult novel: boy/girl relationship, troubled parent, good friend with her own issues. If you left it at that, it would be the same old story that fills so many YA novels. Thankfully, Anderson's writing and her sense of character make this book a cut above the rest.

Hayley's job is to make sure her father stays sane and doesn't hurt himself. Or at least, that's the job she's been saddled with and she doesn't know any other way of life. Her father is a veteran suffering from PTSD; as a result, when he isn't drinking or doing drugs, he's running away to try to dull the pain. This year, her eighteenth, he's taken her home to her grandmother's house and enrolled her in school (something she hasn't been attending since riding shotgun with him while he was a truck driver). Suddenly Hayley has the school officials looking at her, expecting her to do and be things she's not used to, and her father's condition is a minefield of issues. At least Hayley has a friend in Gracie and a boyfriend named Finn; there are people out there who care what happens to her. But holding it all together may end up being too much for all of them.

Hayley's situation had me so angry I couldn't see straight; sadly enough, there are plenty of kids out there who must be the parent to their own parent, and her problems just keep multiplying. I watched as events spiraled out of control and became completely absorbed in Hayley's desperation as she tried to make everything work out while keeping her walls up. Anderson makes the story work without becoming too overwhelming or too neat; it would be interesting to see what happens as Hayley's life progresses. This glimpse into what a child of a PTSD vet may endure is illuminating and riveting, and Anderson remains one of the best young adult writers around.

I want to title this review: The Impossible Mediocrity of Mental Illness YA. For as complex and nuanced as mental illness is–you’d think that we would get more than just textbook representation in our stories. Unfortunately, time and time again, it’s all I see. So rarely do I find a novel about mental illness that truly shows what it is like to be in the thick of it–instead the depiction is flat and gray.

PTSD is such an important subject, and finding good help for our soldiers is a crucial, difficult task. That is one thing about this book that I did agree with: how Halse Anderson wrote Andy’s character refusing help or medication. His characterization wasn’t incorrect, I think I just had a hard time with Hayley’s narration of it.

Something else stuck out to me–Finn and Hayley were going through such a similar situation: they both had family members who were addicts. But instead of talking about it or having that bring them closer together, all they did was fight and scream at each other. Their whole relationship was a weird dynamic, but that really seemed off kilter. Also, it wasn’t lost on me that Gracie continuously suspected Topher for cheating on her as a projection from her dad…though I think everyone else in the story missed that detail. Those sort of plot holes bug me.

But mostly, it’s Hayley that bothers me. Her attitude is horrible, and she’s an unreliable narrator of the worst kind. And maybe that’s the problem. I don’t mind unreliable narrators if there are ways to fill in the holes, but I felt like that knife just cut through the plot until I had an impossible amount of memory to fill.

Trigger warning: PTSD, Panic Attacks, Knives, Blood, Suicide Ideation/Thoughts/Planning, Drowning, drugs, alcoholism

We all know that Thanksgiving celebrates the feast between the Pilgrims and Native Americans and focuses on giving thanks for what we have, but do you know the real reason why every state celebrates it on the fourth Thursday of November? It is because of a superhero. Not Superman or Batman. No, this superhero was armed with a pen and named Sarah Hale. While she might appear to be a dainty little lady, this book teaches us to “Never underestimate dainty little ladies.” Sarah Hale fought for the things she believed in. She was America’s first female magazine editor publishing great authors including Edgar Allan Poe and Nathaniel Hawthorne. She wrote poetry, children’s books, novels, and fought for schools for girls and argued against slavery. And by the way, she also raised five children and composed a song you might be familiar with, “Mary Had a Little Lamb.” How did she do all of these amazing things, you may ask? She used her pen to make the world a better place. She wrote articles and letters to government officials to persuade them to change policies she disagreed with.

So what does all this have to do with Thanksgiving? Well, when our country was just coming together, Thanksgiving was observed by most states in the northeast, but was not a National Holiday and definitely not practiced through all of the states. Sarah Hale felt strongly that Thanksgiving should be a national holiday, so she picked up her trusty pen and wrote. She composed thousands of letters addressed to five presidents over thirty-eight years and was finally victorious when President Abraham Lincoln declared Thanksgiving a national holiday in 1863.

That might seem like a lot of information for children to process, but with its comical text and illustrations, this book does a wonderful job of engaging and inspiring young children. I stumbled upon this book as a school librarian and every time I read it to my students they were completely drawn into the story and amazed by Sarah Hale’s achievements. With Sarah Hale’s many accomplishments, it is hard to understand why she is not a household name. This is a woman everyone should know and read about. Share Sarah’s story and hopefully inspire a child in your life to take up a pen and fight for what they believe in.

Hayley, a senior in high school, and her father have been on the road for about six years now – actually, on the run from Andy’s severe PTSD. Andy had been teaching Hayley himself as they traveled (homeschooling in an eighteen-wheeler), but now he wants her to graduate from a traditional high school. Hayley’s earlier learning has been rather spotty. Problems arise because of this; she receives detentions for disrespectfulness toward the history teacher because she is so far ahead of herself, but she needs much help with math.

As Hayley and Andy start to settle in their new community, several of Hayley’s schoolmates want to be friends with her; a young man named Finn is interested in Hayley romantically. However, Hayley turns away all overtures of friendship and romance because of her father’s volatile behavior. She wants to manage on her own but must realize that if she will simply reach out, she and her father will get the help they need.

This novel is written in the first person from Hayley’s point of view, in a biting, sarcastic tone that is spot-on for someone like Hayley -- smart, brash, independent, and sometimes slightly irreverent. Readers want to keep reading to find out what the outcome will be for Hayley, Andy, and Finn.

Just as with Anderson’s other works, such as SPEAK and FEVER 1793, there are gritty passages in this novel -- violent scenes depicting Andy’s PTSD. With this in mind, I consider IMPOSSIBLE KNIFE OF MEMORY a very good novel for about age fifteen or sixteen and up.

So claims Hayley Kincain, the protagonist of Laurie Halse Anderson's new YA novel "The Impossible Knife of Memory," and she would definitely count herself among the "freaks." Seventeen-year-old Hayley has spent much of her past riding with her father, a veteran who's served in Iraq and Afghanistan, in his truck as they travel around the country. But they've recently moved back to the house where Hayley spent her early childhood so that she can have a more regular senior year of high school. Although Hayley chafes at the petty rules of her school, she's beginning to make friends and develop an interest in a cute boy her age, however, her father is still dealing with trauma, leaves all the housekeeping and other such chores to his daughter, is prone to unexpected fits of rage, and cannot hold down a steady job. While Hayley is determined to keep outsiders from finding out the truth about her home, her father's behavior draws unwanted attention from the authorities. Even more of a threat (from Hayley's perspective) is the contact her father still has with Trish, the woman who raised Haley after her birth mother died, but then left them abruptly. Like her father, Trish struggles with addiction issues, and Hayley believes that she is still trying to intentionally ruin their lives.

I've enjoyed other books by the author ("Speak," "Catalyst," and "Wintergirls"), but with this novel, it's beginning to feel like the author is treading water with a setting (suburban high school) that she's long since plundered for witty but true observations about the teen world. The insights that seemed so fresh and funny in her first YA novel "Speak," now seem too familiar to be really interesting. I did, however, feel she did an excellent job with the character of Andy, Hayley's father, who (unlike Gracie and Finn) is not someone you see recycled from novel to novel. He clearly loves his daughter but is wrestling with something that is far too big for him to fix by himself. But even those who want to get help have difficulty navigating all the bureaucracy involved, which the author does a good job of showing.

Additionally, I felt the pacing was too slow - I kept expecting what were just asides (like the Genocide Awareness Club and the teacher who turned out to be surprisingly sympathetic) to develop more. There were far too many "I texted/called, but he never responded, which sucked" parts which could have been cut. However, the book does explore a topic that I haven't seen widely done in recent YA books, so it's worth a read if you're a fan of the author's.

Things haven't been easy for Hayley Kincaid since her father's return from Iraq. Hayley's dad is a trucker and, for the past 5 years, she's traveled with him from state to state, never staying long in one place. Plagued by addiction and the memories of his time at war, Hayley's dad is always trying to stay one step ahead of his demons. When Hayley's dad decides to return to his hometown so Hayley can attend school and maybe attempt to have a somewhat normal teenage experience, Hayley thinks her father will finally be able to conquer the memories that constantly threaten to drown him. Hayley and her father finally have a chance to start over - to put down roots - but her father's addictions and PTSD aren't easily battled and Hayley might have to reach out for help or be pulled under too. Told with an intensity and candor that bonds the reader to Hayley and her father, THE IMPOSSIBLE KNIFE OF MEMORY is an unforgettable story about the psychological aftermath of war and the strength of family and love.

The novel is primarily from Hayley's point-of-view, though there are small sections from her father, Andy's, POV as well. These passages from Andy are what ultimately allow the reader to connect with him. I think it'd be easy to minimize or struggle to understand what Andy is going through and how little control he has without these passages, but, their presence, allowed me to forgive Andy's more manic moments. Instead of feeling angry, I, instead, felt hopeful that he would get the help he needed to overcome his demons.

Hayley is remarkably resilient and strong. She wants so badly to be able to protect her father from his experiences and to be able to fix things on her own, but realizing that addiction isn't something you can battle for someone or on your own is a lesson she must learn through growth... and some trial and error.

In the midst of all darkness and struggle in Hayley's life, she's also falling in love for the first time. This aspect of the novel might seem out of place, but Anderson's skill and deft hand reminds readers that in darkness their is hope... and love. The Hayley's romance is incredibly tender and a perfect foil to her home life.

As expected, Anderson doesn't disappoint. A great book to start off 2014.

The Impossible Knife of Memory left me feeling kind of…blah. I had such high expectations for it. It just didn’t meet most of them. I can’t decide whether I liked it or not. There were some really great things about it, but there were also things I didn’t like or get.

The writing was amazing. It flowed well and kept me reading when I might have wanted to set the book down. I read it in two days.

I liked the PTSD topic and how Hayley’s dad was portrayed. Even though he wasn’t very likeable, he felt real and I couldn’t help but feel compassion for him and anyone else dealing with returning from war.

I couldn’t stand Hayley most of the time. Her denial of her dad’s condition was understandable, as was her warped sense of the past. Her habit of referring to her classmates as zombies drove me nuts. I just didn’t get it. The only time I really felt like I could connect with her character was toward the end of the book.

I also couldn’t stand Hayley’s dad’s flashbacks. I don’t know why we were treated to them, but they didn’t add anything to the story for me. At least the memories Hayley had were able to show how she was twisting her own truth.

So while I loved the writing and the issue the story was tackling, there were just too many things I didn’t like to rate it higher than 3 stars.

I love Laurie Halse Anderson. I am obsessed with Speak and I love Wintergirls, so I thought I was going to really love this book as well and I'm disappointed to say I didn't. Don't get me wrong, it was still very good. I'm happy I read it and it is worth the read, but it was not my favorite.

Hayley, the protagonist, has been living with her father, moving from city to town to on the road, for a good chunk of her life. Her father has been dealing, or in this case, not dealing, with the trauma he suffered from his time fighting in Iraq. With his major PTSD issues, Hayley has had to be the parent in this relationship, and it is becoming harder as they start over again in her father's hometown.

I realize that in reading a book you don't always connect with the characters, especially if their lives are different from yours. But in my experience I have always found something to connect to, but while reading this book I couldn't find much. This surprised me because I am such a fan of Laurie's other books, so I thought I'd instantly fall in love. But the characters, all the characters, rubbed me the wrong way. I don't know if this was on purpose to highlight the major issues with how our country deals with PTSD and soldiers coming home from war, or if it was just that I didn't like these characters. It's hard to tell, so I'm running with the former theory.

Each of the characters in this book had something messed up with them, a lot of which stemmed from hiding the pain/suffering they were feeling. I think there is a major problem within our society that goes with "Don't air your dirty laundry", but as I wasn't raised that way, I can't really relate. The fact that Hayley allows her father to spiral so much or that the VA allows him to spiral so much is ridiculous. No one in Hayley's life is calling them on the bulls***. Even with her hiding the extent of it, and them moving all the time, I feel that someone should be noticing. But again, I think that this situation probably very accurately depicts what happens at home after living through such a tumultuous and violent experience.

I think that's really the root of my not loving this book: it made me extremely uncomfortable in parts. The possibility of violence, the abandonment, the hopelessness, it all made for a hard read. I think I also take it harder because that could have been my Father having to deal with that war (luckily he retired right before the first wave was deployed). Overall, the writing was still beautiful, with Laurie's deft hand at lyricism. The characters, while I couldn't relate, still feel real. I feel like each of them are a real person alive out in the world dealing with these issues. And of course the "moral", or issue I suppose, that is at the heart of all of Laurie's books is quite striking and gets at the heart of it.

While this wasn't my favorite, as I said, it is still a very important book. I think that if you're a fan of Laurie's go in without the typical expectations. If you're a fan of contemporary problem fiction, then I think you'll enjoy this. The Impossible Knife of Memory leaves you on a razor's edge keeping you teetering though moments of joy and moments of pain; an uncomfortable journey to be had, but one worth traveling.

*****
This emotional tale of a young high school girl and her care-taking of her father--a veteran struggling with both alcoholism & PTSD--is also a thrilling ride as you as a reader are dragged into her inner world and experience life from her perspective. I was glad to be "dragged" and glad to enjoy this Young Adult (YA) book that older adults will also enjoy--especially those adults who want to understand young people and those who want to remember and heal their own childhoods.

The perspective of Hayley--fresh and raw--was what made this novel so engrossing. She was exposed to way too much way too soon. She tried so hard to be strong and to do what life was requiring of her, including suppressing her pain and being what she thought a good daughter should be when her father is a complete mess from his sacrifices made in serving his country. Life had hardened and changed both Hayley and her father. They were still bereft from the loss of Hayley's mother years before, and they were coping in the only ways they know. I felt as though I was living in Hayley's mind and body. It is quite a suspenseful read.

There is a romance and it is healthy, sweet, and not sexually explicit so this would be good for teens of any age to read. I also think that anyone who wants to get a glimpse into a teenager's heart and mind would love this novel. Although adult issues are dealt with throughout (as in real life, usually--the teens are beset by modern problems) the teenagers in this novel do not normalize or engage in premarital sex so this would be fine for young people who do value abstinence. There are, however, no religious overtones whatsoever in the novel.

A minor theme of this novel--one I particularly enjoyed, as I could relate to it in my own past--is the inappropriate confiding in Hayley by her father. It secondarily traumatizes Hayley. Although both father and daughter love each other, they struggle to help each other to become healthy and to have a normal life.

Highly recommended.
*****

I had almost forgotten what a good storyteller Laurie Halse Anderson is. I read "Speak" years ago and was amazed at how vividly she captured high school life and the mindset of a fragile teenager. The same holds true with her latest novel, "The Impossible Knife of Memory." It is downright impossible to put down.

Hayley Kincain is in the midst of her senior year in a new school, but an old town. After five years on the road running from their collective pasts, Hayley and her war veteran father have returned to his hometown, living in his mother's house. Hayley tries not to let too many people get close to her, constantly assessing situations and creating action plans. For life at home is far from normal: her father is haunted by his war experiences and takes to drowning his sorrows in drink, losing job after job. Hayley is smart but not a good student, failing math and racking up detentions and the attention of her guidance counselor. The only thing she wants at this point in her life is to keep her father together, but it's a tougher job than she can handle on her own. The only bright spot in her new life is Finn, a fellow senior who likes Hayley but has some issues that he would rather keep hidden as well.

"The Impossible Knife of Memory" is extremely well-written. Hayley tells the story, but Anderson adds a few chapters that capture her father Andy's memories from the war, which allow viewers a glimpse into his tortured mind. Hayley is a unique characters, strong yet fragile, a young adult who is still very much that little girl waiting for her dad to return home. The ending is a little rushed for my liking, but there are some truly excellent moments in between, like Finn and Hayley's first "anti-date". Once again Anderson has managed to capture what a glorious, frustrating, difficult, and agonizing thing it is to be a teenager.

My daughter read this book and suggested I read it. Funny, because I already had it on my wish list to read! I am very glad I did. It would make a great book for a parent/child bookclub. There would be many interesting discussions on perceptions of events, emotions, and reactions to storyline.

My favorite thing about the book is the relationship between Hayley (the main character) and Finn (her boyfriend). I loved the banter and the ease of their conversations. I loved that they behaved almost like they have known each other forever, but really they are just getting to understand one another.

The character development and growth is well written. The author does a great job of writing the story in a way that young adults can grasp what is happening and relate to it based on their limited life experiences but knowledge of the world around them AND so that an adult can read between the lines and relate to the story in a different way. That's a difficult balance, but I think it is achieved.

PTSD is a very important topic and it's interesting that this story focuses on the relationship between parent and child rather than parent and parent. PTSD effects everyone around, not just the soldier returning or the victim of an event. It effected Hayley which effects her relationship with her friends and her schoolwork, etc. Seeking and receiving help seems so difficult and living day by day is so important that the future is forgotten. This is a great topic to tackle and show the lack of support and lack of understanding in our culture.

The only gripe I have is with the ending of the book. It's too pretty. I don't buy it. It's too neat and tidy for real life.

Beyond that, I would encourage parents to read this along with their young adult children and discuss. We can do that with movies and tv shows, why not books! This is a great one to use for a starting point!

Hayley never had a normal childhood. When other girls had slumber parties and played soccer, she was trucking across the country with her dad. But it hasn’t just been the two of them; the memories and trauma her father faced in Iraq follows them everywhere. Finally, he decides to settle down in his hometown, and Hayley battles with leading a normal life with normal guys and normal friends, while juggling her father’s post traumatic stress disorder, and it seems to be getting worse.

I usually adore Laurie Halse Anderson’s books, but I wasn’t feeling this one as much. She’s almost like John Green: some of their books may not be your favorite, but they’re all good and well-written.

I had a lot of questions throughout the novel. I wanted to find out more about Finn (her adorable boyfriend) and her dad’s past. I felt like Finn and Hayley’s relationship had nothing to stand on. It seemed to me they hardly knew each other, because the reader doesn’t find out much about Finn’s life. And, by the end, they didn’t have any chemistry. After a couple skirmishes and tense moments, their whole relationship kind of fizzed out, but they were still together.

Every couple of chapters there’s an excerpt on her dad’s experiences in the war, but everything is very vague and poetic. I enjoyed reading them, but I wanted more flashbacks to feel closer to her dad, because I honestly didn’t like him a whole lot.

Otherwise, it’s good. Anderson is an established writer, and the reader can tell. Her novels are always sparked with metaphors and figurative language, and her dialogue and events are realistic. This book focuses on more complex issues and a network of problems rather than her usual direction of one fatal event or flaw in the character.

The Impossible Knife of Memory is a perfect contemporary novel filled with romance and high school drama with a more pressing problem hiding in the shadows of Hayley’s life. It makes you wonder the stories seemingly normal and carefree people have, and the secrets they’re keeping.

Having read and enjoyed several of Laurie Halse Anderson's books (Speak and Wintergirls are a couple of my favorites), I was super excited to win an advance copy of The Impossible Knife of Memory, a story about the daughter of a soldier who suffers from PTSD. After reading the first couple of pages, I was disappointed. The main character seemed to be trying too hard to be sassy and original, the plot was boring and contrived (really? Who needs more "too-smart-for-high-school" characters or that romance crap?), and I was questioning all the faith I had in one of my once-favorite authors.

But I kept reading because I thought that as time went on, the story might get better. I also was set on getting points for the review and didn't want to be overly harsh without having read the whole thing. And, boy, am I glad I kept reading! The Impossible Knife of Memory is a true testament to how amazing a book that is off to a slow start can turn out to be. As a fellow writer, I know how difficult it can be to start a story, and that if you don't hook a reader immediately, they most likely will not stick around for the rest of the story, no matter how good it is.

*POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD*

One problem I often have with books is that I find it difficult to remember names of characters and sometimes even their stake in the plot, but this book made the characters so real and memorable that I couldn't forget even if I wanted to. The characters are all dealing with their own problems and all too often forget to think about the fact that the others have issues as well, which is a very real aspect. The extremely well-developed characters talk and act in believable ways and this is one of the first high-school-age books that doesn't try to pretend that a hot romance will solve everything. Prior to reading this, I had read a little about PTSD and seen a couple of films about it, but I had never fully realized the devastating impact it has on the soldier and the people he/she loves. At first I was angry with Hayley for being selfish and not understanding how badly her dad was suffering and how hard Trish was trying to be right her wrongs, but as I got to know her and her situation, I began to see that she was simply a teenager stuck in her own war at home, in addition to the fact that her dad's breakdowns were so brilliantly described that even I began to have conflicted feelings about the level of her responsibility and dedication to him.

This book is full of ups and downs and the mantra "nothing is entirely black and white." The descriptions are impeccable and really dig into the emotion. Even reading this in my warm, brightly lit home on my laptop, I found myself surrounded by the sights and sounds of battle, walking the halls of school, dangling my legs off the edge of the quarry, and dreading going back to Hayley's house not knowing what kind of mood her father would be in.

The Impossible Knife of Memory is a gripping emotional rollercoaster that builds tension until you can feel exactly how Hayley feels. This is enhanced with the occasional chapter from Andy's perspective that shows exactly what he faced in the war, as well as the message weaved throughout that never lets go of hope even in the darkest of places. The climactic reveal at the end creates just the right amount of dramatic tension and confusion, putting you in the characters' minds, and the ending is perfectly imperfect.

Aside from a few typos and the occasional cliche (why does Finn have to be the hottest guy in school who everyone is after? of COURSE they're drinking on Halloween because teenagers never do anything else. insert emphatic eye roll here because none of the teachers are sympathetic to Hayley's situation and her "no one understands me" attitude), I really enjoyed this book and would recommend it to anyone who can get past the first few chapters without putting the book down and walking away.

This is the story of Hayley, a high school student whose mother died when she was a little girl and whose father was in the service and was discharged because of injuries he sustained while in service. Because of her father's issues Haley has had an unconventional education. Now she's trying to fit into a "normal" high school in the place she was raised as a young child.

Ms. Anderson does a wonderful job putting us in the mind of a teenager dealing with difficult issues. And if it was just about Hayley, with less of a story of her friends this would have been a wonderful book. As it is for me this was a little too much of the same, "parents have issues" and students are full of attitude. I wanted to keep reading about Hayley and was frustrated by the interruptions to explain her friends attitude and issues.

But perhaps I've just read too many YA novels lately.

Hayley and her father, after several years on the road as truckers, should now be settling down into normality. They have left the traveling life and settled back into dad's hometown so Hayley can go to high school and they can put down some roots. Nothing in their lives is easy, though.

Hayley's father, an Iraq and Afghanistan war veteran, suffers from PTSD, a condition that is steadily ruining their lives. He can't hold down a job, mostly because there are days when he simply is unable to make himself go to work. He sometimes disappears to a dark place within himself, and uses alcohol to numb his pain and memories, and Hayley fears that she will never get him back. Knowing she has to take care of her father affects every aspect of her life.

It's hard to live in a small town without making connections, though. A girl from Hayley's childhood remembers her and tenaciously clings to her when she moves into town, until Hayley can't help but become her friend. A quirky swimmer takes a liking to her as well, and does his best to gain her attention.

Always, though, Hayley's security is tenuous. When someone from her past creeps back into her life, she fears that everything might explode around her.

I thought this book was fantastic at making clear the struggles of those living with PTSD and also the struggles of those who love them and need to live with them. Hayley and her father are both strong characters who obviously love each other, but sometimes something more than love is needed in order to provide stability. I hurt for Hayley and her lost childhood, having to watch out for her father all the time, and worrying what might be happening to him when her attention is elsewhere.

I liked the cast of supporting characters, who were interesting and flawed in very realistic ways. They were a group of people I enjoyed spending time with throughout this book.

As one other reviewer has already written, I, too, may have had my expectations set way too high before I read this book. I know that Anderson is a highly decorated YA novelist, and I also saw that almost all the customer reviews on the store raved about this book. The back of the book has quotes from professional reviewers calling her books "screamingly funny" and "riveting." So when I sat down to read this book, I was surprised at how unimpressive I found it. Don't get me wrong; it's not a bad book. I just don't really see anything great about it. The plot is a first person narrative of a high school misfit struggling with the usual high school angst as well as just about every other difficulty the author could think of. I was reminded of those ABC After School Specials they used to show on t.v. when I was a kid where every episode dealt with a teen dealing with some sort of life crisis (suicide, bulimia, bullying, etc.) Only this novel threw in so many "issues" that I started to lose count. The plot at least touches on a host of issues including but not limited to post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, alcoholism, drug abuse, marital infidelity, divorce. and teen sex. As a whole, I found myself starting to dread turning the page for fear yet another problem would rear its ugly head. The voice of the narrator was (at least in my opinion) a stereotypical high school misfit. Her attitude was to basically hate everyone and everything about her high school and seem way too cool and intelligent to be interested in anyone or anything. While I understood that, since the character has many struggles in her young life, her attitude wouldn't tend to being the most rosy, I found myself not really liking her that much. She was too busy dismissing every other human being whose path she crossed for me to care a whole lot about her very severe difficulties. Basically I found her character to be totally lacking in empathy, which, while it could be understandable given her background, nonetheless failed to endear her to me. But before I'm accused of being a hater, I will admit that I didn't strongly dislike the book. It moved at a steady enough clip to keep me interested though not terribly emotionally engaged. Because of the subject matter, this book would be appropriate for an older adolescent, and the ending does have a pretty satisfying conclusion. So I won't warn anyone away from this book, but I will suggest you not set your expectations overly high.

Reviewed by Norah Piehl

Laurie Halse Anderson explores the legacy of trauma in THE IMPOSSIBLE KNIFE OF MEMORY.

You might say that Laurie Halse Anderson has been exploring the effects of trauma during her entire writing career. Her 1999 debut novel, SPEAK, explored the aftereffects of sexual assault in one girl's life. Now, in her new novel, THE IMPOSSIBLE KNIFE OF MEMORY, Anderson considers the wider reaches of trauma not just on the individual, but on family members and their relationships.

Hayley Kincain isn't sure she's equipped for life in a regular high school, but that's exactly where she finds herself for senior year, whether she likes it or not. For the past several years, her schooling has been unconventional at best, as she accompanied her trucker dad on his routes across the country. Now, though, Hayley's father has returned their small family to Hayley's late grandmother's house, where he hopes to get a steady job while Hayley finishes high school.

Hayley's smart --- her knowledge of history, gleaned from many conversations with her dad on the road, outstrips her history teacher's --- and her sarcastic take on high school helps keep her from getting too bogged down in petty high school dramas. Hayley's wry observations may remind some readers of the narrator of SPEAK, who approached high school from a similar taxonomic perspective. Here she divides the world into two kinds of people, freaks (good) and zombies (bad) --- "Everyone is born a freak," notes Hayley. "Every newborn baby, wet and hungry and screaming, is a fresh-hatched freak who wants to have a good time and make the world a better place. . . . Most teenagers wind up in high school. And high school is where the zombification process becomes deadly."

Determined not to become a zombie, Hayley distances herself from conventional friendships and high school activities. But when the super smart (and equally good-looking) school newspaper editor, Finn, approaches her about doing some writing for the paper (and maybe also going on a date), Hayley tentatively enters into a relationship with him. But she remains terrified about showing Finn too much of herself, too much about her father. How can she explain that her dad is terrified of the simplest things, like highway overpasses and sudden noises? How can she tell Finn that her dad spends much of his time drunk or high to block out memories of the war? Or that he sometimes lashes out violently, unable to control his actions? Even when Finn reveals his own family complications, Hayley is reluctant to let him fully into her life.

But when Trish --- Hayley's dad's old girlfriend and the closest thing to a mother that Hayley can remember (her own mom died when Hayley was a baby) --- comes back into their lives, Hayley must cope with her own traumatic memories, her own response to painful experiences that she thought she had left behind her.

Laurie Halse Anderson is an expert at writing "problem novels" that go far beyond the problems they address. Here she explores the legacy of post-traumatic stress disorder, but she does so in the context of a strong, character-driven novel that also explores issues of trust, hope, and finding common bonds with others. THE IMPOSSIBLE KNIFE OF MEMORY, although dark at times, also has plenty of moments of sardonic wit or outright humor, and it also has a sweet, realistic love story at its heart. Powerful, compassionate, and achingly authentic, THE IMPOSSIBLE KNIFE OF MEMORY bravely addresses how long trauma can persist --- and how much help it requires to overcome.

As I was walking through Hastings a few weeks ago, I noticed a new Laurie Halse Anderson book called The Impossible Knife of Memory. The cover is of a blue streaked headed girl, with the wind blowing her hair. It is very eye catching. Guess what?! I actually read the back of the book to see what it was about before I purchased it. I have noticed compared to her other books I have read, it is also an emotional book. The Impossible Knife of Memory is about a girl named Hayley and how she deals with the struggles of her fathers PTSD from being a war vet. I found the characters very interesting to read and learn about, and I was especially curious how her relationship with her dad would play out. Also was interesting learning about her friends struggles and what would happen with them.

In the back of the book it explains why Anderson wrote about this story. It is a story that is easy for her to connect with because her dad was a WWII veteran with PTSD. I really enjoy when authors write about these subjects. It helps those of use who have not been through it, understand what it's like to be in these situations. That way we can possibly try and help a little better, then if we didn't understand what they are going through. This book is a great book to own and go back and reread. It is very easy to connect to the characters and stay glued into reading it.

Hayley Kincaid and her veteran dad have been traveling across the country in his truck for years as he home schooled her and they evaded reality. Life was good, despite the fact he suffered from PTSD from his time in Iraq and had many bad days and nights brought on by drugs, drinking binges, and flashbacks. After settling down in her grandmother’s old house during her senior year so she could go to a real school, Hayley was hopeful her dad would get better. Instead he deteriorated even more, necessitating a constant cycle of lying to the world and herself about his behavior.

Little by little, parts of her own soul began to be cut away by her dad’s binges along with the return of the stepmother she hated. While teetering on the edges of sanity, Finn entered her life. Not exactly a heartthrob, his silly antics and banter helped keep her mind off the seriousness of her home life and made her feel a ray of hope through her despair. Unfortunately even Finn couldn’t keep her father’s PSTD from worsening as his self destructive path seemed to be leading in one direction. Haley and her dad would soon find themselves in the biggest fight of their lives.

Laurie Halse Anderson’s realistic portrayal of Hayley and her father’s struggles with PTSD sheds a new light on what soldiers go through when they return from their service to the nation. Reading it may cause some of her readers to seek the help they need for their loved ones.

On a side note there were many editing errors that will, hopefully, be corrected in future editions.

Recommended for readers aged 14 and older.

You may know I am a sucker for heartbreaking stories. When Yara first told me about this book and after reading the summary, I just couldn’t wait to read it. Have you ever completed a book and wondered what it was missing? Well, this is how I feel after finishing this.

Hayley’s father, Andy, is a war veteran and is struggling with his demons. This has impacted Hayley and she has difficulties coping with life. To help Hayley with her future, Andy moves back to his hometown. Now Hayley must learn how to live a normal life. How can this possibly be normal when all she does is take care of him?

New in town, Hayley meets Finn, a very inscrutable and impulsive boy. He tricks Hayley and then they start a relationship. What I don’t like about this is that this relationship is so awkward. There is no chemistry at all and it takes much of the story. I would’ve liked the story to provide us more of Hayley’s life before her father’s demons began.

Over all, this book deals with a real life and a difficult topic. This is my first time reading a book of Laurie Anderson and you can tell by reading it, that she did an incredible job at researching about PTSD. I have to give her mad props, she nailed this topic. Yet, when it came to the romance, I think it was not necessary as much as this book goes into. Especially the romance Hayley and Finn shared. Nonetheless, this is a good read.

If you took Laurie Halse Anderson’s novel and whittled it down to its most basics, it would be just another YA book. Outsider girl, slightly outsider boy. Troubled families. They meet and fall in love. They each, as well as their relationship, face some difficulties, but they get through them and come out stronger people with a deep love for each other.

Luckily for us there is more to the story than that.

Hayley Kincaid and her father, Andy, have been on the road for the past five years, living the life of vagabonds. Andy suffers from PTSD as a result of his time in Iraq, and staying in one place for too long is just too much for him. But Andy isn’t the only one affected by his disorder.

When Andy decides it’s time to settle down, at least for Hayley’s senior year, he takes her back to his hometown and the house he grew up in. But Hayley’s knowledge of school social rules are fuzzy, and her education spotty. She is befriended by Gracie, the girl down the road, who remembers Hayley from early childhood, a time when Hayley lived with her grandmother after her mother died, while her father was still in Iraq. Hayley has chosen to forget those happy memories, and others, too, as a coping mechanism.

Gracie introduces Hayley to Finn, an cute, incredibly intelligent boy with troubles of his own. With a network of friends that won’t let her go, Hayley carefully navigates the mine-field of her father’s PTSD, sometimes not too successfully, but always with love.

Hayley, and to a lesser extent Finn, show us what stresses our adult troubles heap on kids. Hayley suffers from her own PTSD, one earned through the death of her mother and grandmother and the abandonment of a mother-figure, before hitting the road with her paranoid, psychologically-scarred father. Hayley comes to realize that there are people who will help, and taking the outstretched hand won’t always lead to heartache.

This book is well worth reading, if only to make you stop and think about what ‘those’ kids (you know, those kids who seem out of touch with society and sneer at authority) might be going through.

Laurie Halse Anderson is a master at speaking the language of teenage angst and turmoil. She gave us Speak, a story about a teenage girl traumatized to the point of becoming mute. In Wintergirls, she addresses the self-destructive behaviors of eating disorders and cutting. And then there’s her latest endeavor…

Seventeen-year-old Hayley and her dad, Andy, have relied on just each other for years. A veteran of wars in both Iraq and Afghanistan, Andy suffers from debilitating PTSD while Hayley does her best to hold their fragile lives together. As is the case in many of these situations, she becomes the parent while her dad struggles to simply survive each day. She can’t separate the happy memories from the bad ones, so she represses them all. They’ve traveled across the country as he attempted to escape his demons. When that doesn’t work, they settle back in their hometown where Hayley enrolls in school for the first time after being homeschooled for so many years. Enter Finn, a quirky, lovable soul who takes her as she is, secrets and all. There’s also Gracie, Hayley’s one remaining friend from her childhood. Hayley’s reluctant to allow anyone access to her private world even as it crumbles around her. Andy sinks deeper and deeper into his own private hell as each day passes. He drowns himself in alcohol and drugs in an attempt to silence the battle going on in his head. The rare moments of lucidity and normalcy are just enough to keep Hayley from reaching out for help. She, meanwhile, is facing her own struggles outside of home. A bright student who loves to get lost in her books, she’s also extremely unmotivated and spends much of her school days in either the counselor’s office or detention. The story follows Hayley as she tries to save her dad and, as a result, herself as well. Along the way, she realizes that her friends’ picture perfect lives aren’t as happy as they seem; every family has its secrets. Hers are just a little more dangerous.

Laurie Halse Anderson has once again written a story that plunges you deep into the hearts and souls of her characters. Hayley is a flawed teenager who could be any of us. She has a dry, witty sense of humor and a strong sense of survival for both she and her dad. She is wise beyond her years and is loyal to a fault. Hayley isn’t one of the pretty, popular girls but she’s the one I’d most like to be friends with. I enjoyed this book tremendously and finished it in a day. It’s another great young adult book from an amazing author.

We all know Laurie Halse Anderson is a literary genius, so of course I was excited to read her newest book. The cover is gorgeous, so that helped too. And while I didn't love The Impossible Knife of Memory as much as I've loved some of Laurie Halse Anderson's previous books, I did really enjoy it. The Impossible Knife of Memory is another dark, hard-hitting, character-driven driven novel, and I loved it.

I love how family-centered the plot of The Impossible Knife of Memory is - seeing Hayley struggle in her relationship with her dad is heartbreaking. I could see how some people might complain that the depiction of Andy's PTSD isn't layered enough, but I honestly didn't mind - the novel is more about Hayley figuring out how to deal with her father, rather than her father dealing with his PTSD. I really enjoyed reading about Hayley's relationship with her dad, and the rest of their family history too. I also love how we get insights into the families of Finn and of Hayley's best friend (whose name I can't remember even though she is awesome).

The other main storyline is the romance. As always, I didn't love the romance quite as much as I loved the main storyline, but I did really enjoy it. I don't want to call it insta-love because Finn and Hayley's relationship develops very slowly and realistically over the course of the novel, but it is insta-something - I found it really strange how Finn immediately liked Hayley and started to "pursue" her as soon as she got there. Their bantering is cute, but I still don't see how it initially got started. Later on, though, I really liked reading about Hayley and Finn's connection.

Laurie Halse Anderson established herself as one of the best YA writers a long time ago, so of course her writing was amazing in her newest novel as well. She just has a way with words that makes everything so much more emotional and honest. There really isn't all that much going on in The Impossible Knife of Memory, but I never minded - it's still a captivating read because of her way with words.

If you've never read a Laurie Halse Anderson novel, I don't know what you're doing with your life - you really, really need to. The Impossible Knife of Memory is another beautifully written, honest, and powerful novel, and I can't recommend it enough!

I have only read one other Laurie Halse Anderson book, and though it was a good book, it didn't quite hit home with me. I have been wanting to to read more from her and decided this would be a great choice. I wasn't wrong. This book was pretty darn stupendous. The characters were raw, the story was addicting, horrifying, and captivating, and the writing was just beautiful. Loved it!

Hayley is a broken girl. She was young when her father left for Iraq and her life has never been the same since. Her father came back damaged, she has lost her grandmother and her mother at an early age, her sort of stepmother was a mess, and she refuses to remember much of her past. Hayley and her father have recently made home in an old family house after a while of being on the road. Hayley, who has been home schooled for most of her life, has to start a new school, in a new town, as a senior. Something she is completely dreading. She didn't think her life could become any more complicated until she met a boy named Finn. Now she must deal with her father, damaged and seemingly breaking beyond repair, school, past memories, and a cute troublesome boy. This story is about breaking, losing, healing, and finding oneself.

I think this book was just marvelous. Written very well, making the story real, believable, and enchanting. I was lost in the story from beginning to end. The beginning starts off slowly, bringing into focus the issues that found themselves home in Hayley's so called life. It was clear from the start that the book was going to be difficult to get through but the hard, knock down issues, were hiding out of sight until they made the perfect entrance. Hayley was clearly screwed up and had some things to deal with. Hayley's father was clearly screwed up and had issues to deal with. That was just the beginning. The issues escalated and desperation became clear.

There aren't many books that really touch me the way this book did. I have read very few contemporary books about war, soldiers, and all they deal with. I try to stay away from this subject because its a difficult subject. This book was worth the read even though it was hard. I was angry. I felt anger, sorrow, sympathy, and understanding. In the end I did feel hope and I felt love. It was a well round book and didn't shy away from a roller coaster of emotions.

The characters were difficult for me. They were written well, the character building was superb. I don't think I could of known Hayley, Finn, or Andy any better than by the end of the book. They were hard characters to deal with because of the issues that filled their lives. So I didn't love them all the time, but they did feel like family. Hayley was jaded, lost, and very insecure with her life. Of course I didn't expect her to be any different. She was basically taking care of herself and her father. Andy, her father was extremely broken, beyond anything but professional help. Because of the damage he suffered, physically and emotionally, he was unable to take care of his family and allow Hayley to have a proper childhood. This was hard for me, but again understandable. So even though it was all kinds of screwed up, it made sense.

The boy, Finn. Not perfect but pretty awesome. He wasn't that boy that the girl fell for and all was good. Nope they had a hard time because both Finn and Hayley had unresolved issues. Finn said stupid things, did stupid things, and just all around acted stupid... but only sometimes. Most of the time he was gentle, understanding, and reliable. My favorite part.. he was a crazy smoking geek. Love that.

So the story had lots of great stuff and lots of tough subjects were addressed. Nothing was left out. I loved the book. The only complaint I had and I don't understand is why there wasn't at least one family in the book that was messed up. Everyone in Hayley's life was screwed up one way or another. I would have liked to see one stable family. Other than that excellent read.

I would recommend this book to everyone. A very emotional ride but worth it!

I have been a Laurie Halse Anderson fan for years – ever since I used Speak in my 4th year Children’s Literature course at SFU. But it has been a number of years now since I’ve picked up one of her books, so I was curious to see if she has maintained her exceptional standards. I was not disappointed.

As per usual, Halse Anderson wove a tale that is brutally honest and real but that’s real strength lies in the character development. Hayley Kincaid is a girl who is dealing with issues that no teenager should have to deal with (but that far too many do). Her struggles to balance her life, her studies and her father’s well being are beautiful written.

Too often I put down a realistic novel like this one with a feeling of disappointment and depression but that wasn’t the case this time. Instead I felt closure and a sense of hope when finishing the novel. Halse Anderson doesn’t sugarcoat the story and doesn’t ruin the reality of her novel with a fairytale ending and yet she manages to close on a hopeful note.

Great read! You should check it out!

The Impossible Knife of Memory (which I will now call The Impossible Knife because of its long name), was a surprising book.

When I first read the synopsis, I didn't think that it was the book for me. It didn't sound like something that would actually interest me. But, upon seeing so many glowing reviews for this book, I thought I should give it a try. I'm so glad I did!

The Impossible Knife starts off pretty slow for me because I couldn't connect to Hayley at first. She was closed off and mean to people she didn't know, she was quick to dish out the sarcasm (which is a trait I normally praise but in this case it got old sometimes), and she pushed away anyone who might want to help her. But, once she kept narrating and slowly peeling her mask away, I could see how complex and mature she was. Hayley was basically trying to hold everything together for the sake of her dad. She's a seventeen year old who can't do normal seventeen year old things in hopes that her life doesn't fall apart. While I'm not in a situation like Hayley's, I do understand what it means to hold everything together for the sake of your family. I understood her overall pressure to make her dad happy, even if it cost her own happiness.

"I needed to hear the world, but didn't want the world to know I was listening."

That's Hayley in a nutshell. She cares so much , but can't bring herself to show it, in case she gets hurt. I loved the complexity of her character. It was definitely one of the strongest points of this story.

Another character I really loved in this story was Finn. I wish I could just make the whole review about Finn just because he was so fun to read about. I think Finn appearing in Hayley's life was one of the best things that could have happened. Despite all other books where introducing a romance is completely unnecessary, I feel like this book wouldn't have been half as good as it was if it weren't for the introduction of Finn. Finn is an adorable, geeky stud. He appeared in Hayley's life to challenge her. He was Hayley's wake up call.

"It's not just tonight [...] It's everything. You take care of him more than he takes care of you. How much longer?"

And, of course, Finn won me over once he started throwing around math jokes and being his overall amazing, goofy self.

"I'm flirting with you, Miss Blue, flirting in the perfect language of calculus. It's a sine I think you're sweet as pi. Get it?"

Other than Hayley and Finn, this book had amazing side characters that each put their own little part into the story.

Anyways, this book doesn't only revolve around the characters, it also has wonderful and heart wrenching writing. The PTSD that Hayley's father suffers from is presented in such a raw way. You feel as if he's a ticking time bomb throughout the whole story and it's definitely very compelling.

There were some chapters that were flashbacks of (what I can assume is) Hayley's dad and his war experiences. We get to see how he slowly loses his feeling of "sanity" and how the PTSD slowly takes over his life.

I think that if I have to complain on something, it may be the ending. I wanted to see more closure! I wanted to see each and every character's story arc have the closure I was expecting. Also, the ending was so disgustingly cute. Gah. It made my heart implode and play a cheesy melody on a violin. Yes, I liked it, but it gave me so many feels.

Overall, this is a book with a much darker theme than you'd be expecting in a YA contemporary book. Nevertheless, if you're up for a compelling, surprising and emotional book, then you should definitely give this book a try.

Rating: 4.5 stars

Big thanks to Text Publishing Australia for providing this copy for review!

This book fissured my heart into a million tiny shards of frozen mirrors and spoke to me in the language of pain and memory and the human struggle to figure out how to clamber through all the muck and find a way to face it and face each other in the characters of Hayley and her father Andy and their story of what PTSD did to them and their loved ones.

Laurie has done it again, with a book so powerful, I was reeling from lines off every page, although perhaps nearly every page is most accurate. I adored the relationship between Hayley and Finn and the depth to which both characters were developed. They took on life and flesh and climbed out of zombied pages and rattled my soul a few dozen times as I read this amazing book.

I still haven't worked out how I feel about Trish, or Benedetti, but both had nuanced touches in story arcs that made them hard to hate entirely, on principal, for instance.

This is the kind of book I wanted to savor, but then thought the better of that idea and decided to devour it and lick my fingers in all the gravy of it, tear off another hunk, and reread it when the taste of juices ebb and I need to scoop gobs of it when it's jellied and cold in the fridge. Probably better to store that on the bookshelf, no?

This book reads with the reality and harshness of a memoir, yet handles the tough issue of PTSD with aplomb and honesty. It's no small feat to write about the war going on in the mind. As someone who works full time in the mental health field, I know this all to well, see the aftermath in my clients and their families, and I can assure you, Laurie has nailed it in this book.

I am also a huge fan of Hayley being highly intelligent and articulate and standing up to the zombified education so prevalent in today's world.

What a powerful, profound read. What a statement. Many statements. Highly recommended.

To know that everyone starts out as a freak according to Hayley, gives me great comfort. To know that we are all on the same playing field, no one better than another, we are all equals in life just passing through different stages, all freaks.
Looking through the eyes of Hayley Kincain, life is complicated. If Hayley only had one wish, she would wish to have her father back; her father before he was broken. Hayley sarcasm and honesty has landed her in detention enough her senior year that the authorities are keeping a close watch on her. With Gracie at her side, Hayley just wants to get through this year and graduate. While others are concerned about their plans after graduation, Hayley just wants to get through another day. Her father is reliving the war in his mind and without help, the war is winning. The battles that her father fights are constant although his duty has been served and his purple heart has been pinned honorably. The war is separating Hayley from her father as he hides behind his drinking, his depression, the mood swings, the blackouts and his denial. Wanting her father to get help, he refuses to seek assist blaming these people for causing his suffering. When some of his Army buddies arrive at the house, Hayley is afraid of the reaction her father might have considering his previous symptoms. There is a war going on everywhere you look, someone needs to get help before there are more causalities.
The character of Hayley was played out so well. From her sarcastic tone to her ability to stand up for what she thought was right, she was a great. She had me laughing out loud with her attitude as she was such a strong force and was not afraid to be heard. Her father was a mess so she was left to pick up the pieces and she did a good job of doing that. The story was great and the message was terrific.
“A nurse sent us to an Activity Room. Whoever named it that had a sick sense of humor. Of the dozen residents there, only one seemed to have a pulse, a lady in a faded flowered dress pushing a walker so slowly it was hard to tell what direction she was moving in.”

I had the pleasure of meeting LHA at a conference in November where we briefly discussed this book. And when I found a SIGNED!!!! copy at my local bookstore I knew I HAD to have it.

THE IMPOSSIBLE KNIFE OF MEMORY tells the story of Hayley Kincaid and her father, Andy, as they try to move on from PTSD. What was interesting to me about this novel by Anderson was that it wasn't just Hayley's story, it was also her father's. Written mainly in Hayley's first person perspective we also receive snippets of flashbacks from Andy. While this worked well in the beginning, they waned off by the end much to my disappointment.

I found the love interest, Finn, engaging and loved how he opened Hayley up, but I found that I wanted more Hayley and her father's story rather than high school dramatics. Perhaps I expected too much?

Nevertheless, THE IMPOSSIBLE KNIFE OF MEMORY is a beautiful, riveting page-turning piece that proves, once again, LHA is a master storyteller. She is able to really grasp a teen's perspective -- whether it's Melinda in SPEAK, Kate in CATALYST, the girls in WINTETGIRLS or Hayley in TIKM…she really sees teens and sees their problems. All of them. Not just the boy problems, but the family problems as well.

Recommended.

I once believed that "Speak" was Laurie Halse Anderson's only book, and I loved it. I recently learned she's actually written a lot of books and I was very excited to read them. Unfortunately I was mostly disappointed by this book. I really wasn't invested in the story until the last 80 pages, which is a huge difference from the instant hook I felt while reading "Speak". That's not to say this is a bad story, it's features a strong young woman character handling a tough situation admirably. I guess I just don't relate enough to this book to find it interesting, but I still want to read more books from her.

The Impossible Knife of Memory is about Hayley, a senior in high school who has spent the last five years being homeschooled all over the US by her father, a truck driver and a war veteran. Now, back living at the house where he grew up and Hayley spent her first few years, she attempts to attend a mainstream high school and deal with her fellow classmates and teachers, who she considers nothing more than "zombies."

This is the first novel I've read that's dealt with the issue of veterans and PTSD. Hayley is accused by her friends of taking care of her father more than he takes care of her, but she is only trying to do the best that she can in this unfortunate situation. And she can take care of herself. Hayley was such an awesome main character. I really identified with her independent nature, willingness to learn, and snarky attitude towards following the rules. She's constantly in trouble because, even though she's obviously very smart, she has trouble applying herself in school while she's dealing with more important things in her home life.

And then there's Finn. Hayley's best (and only) friend Grace gives her the idea that she and Finn would be perfect together...as they're both "anti-zombie" and a little weird. Finn has a similarly rough situation at home, so they really are kind of perfect for each other, and it's so sweet when they realize that, too. I really loved reading their conversations. The back-and-forth teasing was adorable, and neither of them knew quite how to be in a typical high school relationship, so it was cute to watch them figure it out as they went along.

This novel also deals with the theme of memory. Hayley's father's memories of the war and Hayley's childhood memories are both importance parts of this novel, and those random sections throughout the book don't really click into place until the last chapter. While I thought that what Anderson was trying to accomplish with the memory sections was cool, I didn't feel like it was done as well as it could've been. It was kind of confusing and I wasn't really sure what the point of it all was. There wasn't really that big "ah hah" moment that I'd expected. It all came together, but it was jumbled up and wasn't that shocking or surprising. It seemed like we were supposed to think that there was this big mystery, when there really wasn't. And I wanted the issue of memory to have more to do with the ending of the book than it really did, because it seemed like it was going to be really important and then it wasn't.

I also had this weird feeling throughout the whole book of not really getting what the novel was all about. Like this sense of not understanding where the author was going. Usually when you read a novel, you kind of know what the "end game" is. The main character is going to fall in love, escape from a bad situation, finally break out of her shell...whatever it may be, you usually see it coming. But this novel meandered around and didn't have a clear direction, and that was kind of annoying. It wasn't just that I couldn't figure out where it was going, or it was supposed to be a mystery...it just wasn't really going anywhere. There was kind of a big climax at the end, but it just felt strange that the whole novel was leading up to that point. I guess I was expecting something else to happen, mostly with the memory stuff, and I didn't really get the payoff that I was hoping for, or any understanding of why the novel seemed so pointless for so long.

But even though it did seem a little directionless for the majority of it, I was still totally sucked in. I read half of the book, woke up and read the next half. I did not want to stop reading. I really came to care about the characters, and I wanted to know what was going to happen to Hayley, her father, and Finn. I think that the author did a really good job in ending the book, as well. Although some of the issues in the book were obviously dealt with one way or another, there were a few loose ends that weren't totally taken care of. And I wasn't left with an overwhelming sense that everything that was going to "happily ever after," either. But that's how real life is...and I can imagine Hayley's and Finn's life continuing after the ending of the book, just like real people's would, and that's pretty cool.

If you've never read a Laurie Halse Anderson book before (if that's possible), this is as good as any at showing you what LHA does best when she writes YA books. She tackles social ills (in this case, post-traumatic stress disorder), places it in a familiar setting (in this case, high school), and still plays narrative aces (in this case, a great read).

Hayley Rose plays a stranger in a strange land at school and a pilgrim in an all-too-familiar land at home. Her dad, a decorated veteran of Iraq, cannot keep a job due to PTSD. He's bedeviled by visions, nightmares, and fears -- not to mention alcohol, weed, and drugs. Readers will get sucked up in her story as she negotiates the usual high school scenes and the less usual (in her case) domestic ones.

Luckily, the tense moments are lightened with a romantic interest (guy named Finn) who has a great sense of humor. It's perfect yin to Hayley's yang. Her humor's not bad, either, only it's gallows humor as a rule. Dark. Cynical. A cover, of course.

The narrative arc is complicated by Dad's old girlfriend, an alcoholic who re-enters the picture and reignites Hayley's ire. Meanwhile, Finn learns this isn't your ordinary run-of-the-mill girlfriend he's dealing with. Can he hang with her, through thick and, more often, thin?

Fast-paced, the plot runs at a good clip. It's helped by the first-person voice of Hayley, whose characterization is stellar. As mentioned before, there's a vein of humor in the book, and the wit is complimented with some nice intellectual touches. Thanks to Dad, for instance, Hayley knows her history. She happens to know more than her history teacher, even. As you might imagine, her quips don't go over big in class.

That said, LHA is overall sympathetic to the teaching crowd. What's more, she's penned a book that can actually be read by 7th and 8th graders. Sure, mature themes and a bit of language are there, but by today's YA standards, it's mild. When all's said and done, another winner for Anderson.

So the story progresses an awful lot like the story in Speak, told in little bits and pieces, day to day average moments. It's beautiful in its simplicity. All of the avoidance of the real issues builds up until it's impossible for Hayley and her father to shove aside anymore. And while that's one way to tell the story, a lot of the story still feels hollow and unfinished. We still don't know much about how both Hayley and her father got to be where they are. The concept of 'living in the now' is one way of approaching PTSD, but both Hayley and her father have suffered and those memories, as they learn, can't just go hidden. I wish the book talked more about how they were going to approach a recovery point, how they were going to balance living in the present while acknowledging the past that got them there. Hayley's father has obviously been through a lot, but so has Hayley, and I felt like that was not explored enough, particularly at the end. Hayley should have been a reminder that PTSD doesn't just come from war, and I didn't feel that message conveyed enough. I don't want any of my words to imply that I'm negating the beauty of the story, I just want to re-affirm that the story is not over, and that PTSD is difficult for sufferers and those around them, and there's going to be a lot more struggling that faces Hayley and her father beyond these pages, and that maybe the last sentence about it being good is misleading, because it's not going to be good for a long time, but it's good enough for now. For a book about mental illness, it feels like the story still skirts around some key aspects of mental illness. It's not just all about drugs and drinking and being haunted by the past. There's the journey of recovery, and that's really what I had hoped the focus would be on. (This review and my thoughts are extremely biased, and I might have gone in expecting entirely too much and getting my hopes up past where they should have been. It's a good book.)

Laurie Halse Anderson always manages to take difficulty material and weave together unforgettable stories. She's one of those author's that you know you are getting an excellent read from. The Impossible Knife of Memory is a must read, in spit of the heartache that it may cause in parts.

Summary:
Hayley is attempting to keep her father together. After tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, he suffers from PTSD. His nightmares have led him to attempt to cope by doing drugs and drinking. This has made life difficult for Hayley. To make matters more difficult, she has been enrolled in school for the first time in six years and no one seems to be understanding the hard time she is having coping. The only thing that seems to be helping her out is her boyfriend Finn and her best friend Gracie. How is Hayley going to manage?

My thoughts:
Well, I think it's obvious by my opening statement that I really enjoyed this novel. Hayley has a strong voice that holds several layers. She is snarky and sarcastic, but at the same time she is strong and caring. She takes on the roles of an adult way before her time. It is heatbreaking to watch everything Hayley tries so hard to protect begin to crumble, but it's also nice to see that there are help when you let people in. This once again proves that Laurie Halse Anderson is one of the YA greats.

Haley is back in school for her senior year after five years on the road with her father, Andy. Now they're back in her grandmother's old house. While Hayley struggles at school with math and authority, her father is wrestling demons from his years as a captain in the army. He drinks, use drugs, has violent outbursts and never ending nightmares. He suffers from PTSD and Hayley has become his caretaker and emotional support. But Andy is deteriorating, threatening Hayley's new friendships, her love interest, and maybe even their lives.
Anderson has written another winner, narrated by Hayley's strong voice. Hayley is, at first, a difficult character to embrace. She's angry, rebellious, and unfriendly cloaked in a protective facade to keep from being hurt again. She's very flawed, but slowly allows others into her difficult world. Any teenager who's ever had to take care of an alcoholic or mentally ill parent will find Hayley realistic and believable, but teens who haven't had similar experience will also get a glimpse of someone who appears different, for good reason, and realize we never know what someone else is actually dealing with. I recommend this book for teens and adults who like realistic YA fiction