A Memoir of Renegade Mothering - I'm Just Happy to Be Here

Through most of this book I thought this woman is the biggest loser ever. I guess you really have to hit rock bottom before some spiritual being takes over, in her case it happened. I only hope this is the case for so many who have lost their way through drugs and alcohol.

A harrowing story of addiction and recovery that was made easier to read because of the unique way the author writes. She somehow manages to pull humor (and a bit of anger too) out of a many year cocaine and alcohol addiction that found her letting her parents take her young children away from her at different times, her husband leaving her at times, and losing her job, but never seeming to feel too bad about it while she's in the throes of addiction.

She goes to several rehabs - both inpatient and outpatient, but they don't help. She looks down on the other patients and thinks she's one of the only REAL addicts. She goes to therapy which doesn't help either. She looks down on AA - the meetings in "dark church basements" until she one day has an epiphany out of nowhere.

Her story of addiction is harrowing and scary although the way she tells it is mixed with humor and her very odd justifications for staying addicted. Her main addictions are cocaine and alcohol and for years she's willing to give up just about everything for them. When she has her moment of clarity it takes her to an AA meeting and she meets a sponsor who is really tough on her, and this is exactly what she needed to stay sober.

Sober doesn't mean perfect though - and she has a hard time accepting she's still basically the same person she was - her sponsor helps her accept that too, and she begins to grow up.

Somehow she manages to stay married and through the years has 4 children - the fact that the family stayed together is something of a miracle...she doesn't fit in with the "PTA" moms and she comes to understand that she probably never will, but the family does regain normalcy.

I found it a very compelling book and I highly recommend it - especially for anyone who has suffered through addiction - their own or someone elses.

I've been reading Janelle's blog Renegade Mothering on and off for years, and have always enjoyed her way of writing, humor, frankness and honesty. This caries over into her book "I'm just happy to be here" which is an honest and open book about addition and recovery.

"I didn’t understand yet that motherhood is a lot of knowing without knowing."
This is a book about addiction, but it's more than that. It's a book about mental health issues, but it's more than that. It's a book about parenting, but it's more than that. This is a book about life, about ambiguity, about the messy, imperfect way that people figure out to exist and survive. This isn't one of those tales where the addicted person falls in love and their beloved helps them quit, or where they discover they're pregnant and addiction disappears because they love their baby. This isn't even the sort of story in which quitting the substance abuse is the end of all problems. Sometimes, life isn't that simple. Sometimes, it's tougher because you've got other things going on, and you're smart and talented and supported by folks who love you relentlessly and you can keep a semblance of normalcy going a bit longer than other people could. And that makes things worse while it makes things better.
I know the author's work from her popular blog, Renegade Mothering, and from her online writing classes, but even so I was surprised by the level of intimacy and vulnerability Janelle Hanchett displays in this book. She says she left things out, but lets just say self-censorship isn't apparent. This is a very honest story, and it doesn't shy away from difficult truths. Alcoholics Anonymous meetings don't make everything all better, the end.
This isn't the sort of story that will become a feel-good Lifetime movie, but it's not the kind of story that leaves you depressed. The problems don't get "solved" so much as figured out, and maturity here isn't so much in discovering truths, but in learning to live with the unknowable. Bits of this book have followed me around since I read it and informed my day to day existence in much more philosophical terms than I expected. This sounds corny, but it's reminded me to be compassionate. The scene where a recovering Janelle encounters a woman clearly still in the grasp of addiction haunts me.

This book resonates. It resonates if you're a mom or an addict or your sister is an addict or if, when you listen to The Dead and Dylan, you feel that feeling deep in your soul. It's resonates if you're a human being with feelings (or a human being without feelings but they're really there, they're just buried down deep). It resonates if you've been to therapy or you've had a trauma or you've created a trauma in someone else.

This is a story of triumph but not your average fail once or twice, get back up, triumph story. It's about every day just showing up the best you know how in that moment. It's about evolution. It's about becoming. And it's brilliant. And it's true. And it makes you feel things. BUY THIS BOOK!!!!

I really enjoyed this book!

I have followed the author's blog off and on over the last couple of years. Her blog is probably not everyone's cup of tea - as no good blog should be - but I dare say that this book has something in it for everyone.

For the reader whose life has been touched by alcoholism/addiction, Hanchett's candid, painful, and, at times surprising account of her own struggles provides insight, a few desperately needed laughs, and maybe even some hope. Certainly, if Hanchett survived her life, pretty much anyone can survive theirs.

For the mom who thought that becoming a mother would solve all of her problems and fill her life with unwavering purpose and never-ending magic, reading about Hanchett's dismay when she discovered that life after babies was not all that she thought it would be is a comfort.

Or for anyone, really, who thinks that the perfect house/job/husband/parent/degree/etc is all that is necessary to finally fix yourself so that you'll no longer feel like an outsider...this book suggests maybe not so much.

Some memoirs are a little too self-reflective for my taste. What I liked about this book is that it's pretty narrative-driven and, because of that, really hard to put down. "Just a few more pages..." might reveal any number of the twists and turns that are revealed throughout the book. But in the end, you realize that Hanchett has been reflecting on her life and what got her to where she is now. She doesn't hit us over the head with a message or a call to action, instead, she's basically saying "Hey, so here's my pretty wild story...maybe you'll find it helpful or at least interesting ...but if not that's okay too... because at the end of the day, I'm Just Happy to Be Here." I like that about this book and I think you will, too.

***Ian Elder isn't posting this, his wife Amber Glasgow Elder is but his name's on the account..bleh lol
Everyone once in a while you have the opportunity to read a book that takes your breath away, has you cracking up and punches you in the gut all in the same paragraph. If you’re looking for that book – this is the one for you.
From page one you are transported into the honest real account of motherhood and addiction. Hanchett talks about the things we as women aren’t “supposed” to talk about such as unexpected pregnancy, post-partum depression, mental illness, sexual abuse…oh and the ongoing addiction to alcohol and cocaine. Not only does she talk about these issues, she takes you on the journey of her life that will make you root for her, cry with her, want to jump into the book and shake her and laugh at her often witty sense of humor.
Hanchett is a no nonsense but eloquent kind of writer. She tells it like it is and sugar coats nothing but also writes with the ability to make the words flow like water. These qualities will endear you to her and make you realize you can’t put the book down. All at the same time you will want to read the entire thing in one setting but need to make yourself slow down so it’s not over!

Janelle Hanchett is a daring, funny, brave, bold author. I admire her courage in being so self-revelatory about the dark side of mothering and feelings not commonly admitted, though many have felt. Her writing is brash, irreverant and humorous. It also is eloquent. For example, her description of learning she was pregnant at age 21 by a man she had known only three months: "I allowed my condition to sink one inch into my brain, where it hovered like a storm cloud creeping toward me. I knew it would shower me in panic, and soon I would feel it pouring down my arms and into my shoes, but those first moments felt liminal, half-real. I emboldened them with a cigarette. One more cigarette in the line of a thousand before it, a meaningless action of my same old life. An action of the nonpregnant." Hanchett also is wickedly funny and coins some amusing phrases, like a drug scene in which her companions were listening to her spellbound, "warm in cocaine compassion." I admire her ability to observe, describe and call-out both phoniness and authenticity. Her recognition of the steadfast loyalty and love she experiences from her husband struck me as poignant and beautiful. Hanchett's voice is needed--for moms, for those in recovery, and for all of us who are perfectly imperfect. Please tour on the east coast!

Janelle Hanchett's memoir held me hostage while reading because I could not put it down. Housework piled up, my family ate takeout, nothing got done until I turned the last page (and what a last page!) of this heart-wrenching, perspective-altering book. Every chapter tells nothing less than the absolute truth in gorgeous, straight-forward, astonishing prose. Her explorations of her life in addiction, her difficult childhood, and her struggles in motherhood are unflinchingly honest. Many times while reading I thought that this author was seeing right into the heart of me even though our experiences have been very different. This sense of recognition across human experience is, to me, the mark of a highly successful memoir.

I cannot recommend more. In a sea of addiction/artist memoirs that gloss over the truth about the devastation chemical addiction has on human lives, this book is nothing less than a treasure. Janelle Hanchett is a gifted intellectual and artist with a penchant for hard work, but none of those qualities could save her in the face of addiction. This is the kind of truth that could change policy, expand understanding, and save lives. I'm Just Happy to Be Here is riveting and engrossing, but more than that, it is important. In a sea of addiction memoirs that gloss over reality to paint a slick redemption, this book is a gorgeous testament to the strength of one woman's will to live and to be loved.

Much of Janelle Hanchett’s life is foreign to me. I’ve never stepped foot in California and this book is, in small part, a love letter to it. I’m not an addict and this is her memoir of addiction. I visited Europe as an adolescent, but the most scandalous thing I did while there was to sneak into a room with the kids from Georgia, where I did nothing “wrong,” while Hanchett’s adventures in foreign countries told within were much more colorful. I’m listening to Grateful Dead for the first time in my life while I write this review, and well, you’ll have to read the book.

And yet, I could not put this book down, save a short pause to chew and digest some of its more harrowing portions. I’ve been a reader of her blog for years but this book was like Hanchett chose to strip bare, naked and demanded a spotlight be shown on her while she beautifully rage screamed her story. I wanted to be able to reach through the pages of the book, place a soft hand on her knee and say, “Oh honey…” like an angel nurse.

Motherhood brings foggy yet chaotic, slow yet constant, awe-filled yet mundane days. We don’t have to be perfect or fit in or do everything right. But damn if it isn’t our ride to go on, to find what we might experience along the way, hopefully with a fraction of the growth Hanchett shows us.

Pretty and gritty.

I have been following the blog Renegade Mothing for a little over a year now. I stumbled upon one post and I fell in love because learning that I was not the only "okay" mom out there was such a relief and probably one of the most amazing things.
This book... it is a story that doesn't hold back on the ugly truth. Janelle openly talks about her struggle with addiction and the path it took her on to becoming the mom, wife, and woman she is today. I cried in the first 8 pages. Yep. It took 8 pages for my heart to rip open and feel like it had found a safe place to be an okay mom. Parenting is no freaking joke and I feel like nobody really tells you that. Janelle does just that and then some. I wish I had more words for how this book made me feel but there are none. You can't just spit out words and hope that people understand. To really get the whole thing you need to read it yourself and feel it in your soul. It won't be pretty and nobody is going to be perfect but you will feel whole and maybe just a little bit better about being a parent and a human.

I've been following @renegademothering for several years and was so excited to get my ARC. I blew through it in 2 sittings. From the very first moment I was in her head and on her journey. While it is a novel about addiction, it's not just about addiction. It's for anyone whose ever had to battle their own inner voice. It's about learning that you don't know all that answers and that you're good enough. It's about learning that imperfection can be uncomfortably beautiful. It's about grit and bravery and vulnerability. Janelle is painfully honest throughout, I found myself simultaneously judging her for her actions and cheering her on for owning them. In this day of social media non reality it was tremendously refreshing to hear the real deal, which is what Janelle has always written about. It's why her writing resonated with me from the beginning. She's unapologetic, honest, grateful, funny, and humble.

I've been following Janelle's blog, renegademothering.com, for years. When I heard she had a book coming out, I was patiently-ish waiting the release date. And then I got my hands on an advance reader copy, so I did not have to pretend to be patient anymore.

I read the book in just a couple of days. And if you have small kids at home, you'll totally understand why that is quite the accomplishment. Side note: if you have small kids at home, you'll probably love this book. Unless you're the type of person who has pristine white couches and never worries about things like spills.

If someone was asked to describe this book in one word, I imagine most other someones would say, "addiction" (though I did just type "addition," which it is most definitely not about).

It's about Janelle and her addiction, yes. But it's also about losing and nearly losing everything that matters. It's about parenting when even "less than perfect" is a bar that feels out of reach.

And yes, it's dark and gritty. It's sad. Hilarious. Sometimes you'll find yourself laughing at something and feel fairly sure you're going straight to hades for finding it funny.

Look, I'm totally depressed* right now and I still came over here to leave this review, because I want everyone to read it. Except the white couch lady.

(*side effects of this book do not include depression, I had to buy that separately)

One of the strongest voices in my parenting journey has been that of Janelle Hanchett, the hilarious and profane author of the Renegade Mothering blog. The appeal of the blog is its fierce rejection of the beatific cult of motherhood and its earthy exploration of the realities of parenting. While that alone is enough to attract many readers, one of the more compelling aspects of Renegade Mothering is her past as a self-destructive alcoholic and addict, which gives Ms. Hanchett a humility that has created some of her best writing and created a devoted community of tens of thousands of readers.

I’m Just Happy to Be Here: A Memoir of Renegade Mothering is the background story of her life, beginning with the discovery that she was pregnant at 21 with a young man that she had only met a few months prior. Without harboring any doubts, she and her boyfriend keep the baby, who attends their wedding a year later. So begins her family, at an age that is unbelievably young by modern standards.

But – and here is the plot twist – Ms. Hanchett is in the beginning stages of a fight with addiction that will take her down some very dark roads that endanger the well-being of her first two children and the future of her marriage.

There is always a voyeuristic pleasure in witnessing a life that you wouldn’t lead, and here Ms. Hanchett certainly delivers. Her descriptions of the next few years, as her addictions grew worse and her lifestyle degraded into squalor, are the sort of thing that you really want to read from a distance. Yet Ms. Hanchett’s signature humor keeps the narrative from turning into a self-flagellation, as does her honest introspection about her motivations.

Her story is a rare narrative – the voice of the drug-addled mother – and it challenges our cultural assumptions about such women by telling the story in a middle-class context. Ms. Hanchett is helped by privilege – her white skin, a family that can hand over thousands of dollars for expensive rehab centers and take in her children, a completed college degree, an employer that was willing to to give her long periods of absence to address her addictions. And yet, while it could have easily turned into a Gilbertesque story of unaware self-finding, Ms. Hanchett doesn’t allow for it. She forces us to understand the women that she could easily have been, if she had been born into different circumstances. It is her confrontation and understanding of her failures despite her privilege that lead her to a place of pure humility and grace.

Readers of Renegade Mothering might be surprised to find that Ms. Hanchett’s voice is altered in her memoir, dropping the quick jokes that pepper her blog posts. And yet, this more serious tone suits the story, as an older Ms. Hachett narrates the realities of addiction for an audience that may not understand addictive behavior. For those of us with addiction in our families, her story will ring uncomfortably true, both in her stories of chasing the next high and in the recovery process. By the time Ms. Hanchett finds a lasting sobriety, we are battered with the brutality of the destructiveness of substance abuse and the failures of the health system to provide appropriate treatment, even to those who have the resources to navigate it.

Fans of Renegade Mothering will enjoy the novel for its deep-dive into the story that Ms. Hanchett has often referenced in her more personal posts. But those unfamiliar with the blog will also find a page-turning and addictive story about the potential of a young woman who lost her way for a time, only to emerge into the world of competitive mothering with enough self-knowledge to understand that it was time to build a community of her own.

This book is everything. I'm not an alcoholic. I've never had a drug problem. But, I am a mother. And, I have my own set of transgressions. Don't we all? I found Janelle's words to be like a soft blanket. I felt like I was at home. She gets me. I am her. In different skin. I felt this book deep into my soul. She has a way with words, and is an amazing author! Thank you, Janelle, for sharing your story with us. It is so important!

We have all known an addict mother, whether it be a friend, family member or an acquaintance. We make judgements, but what does it look like from their perspective? Well, Janelle Hanchett will give you the raw and real account—trust me, she makes judgements too. Sometimes moms get bored, but not all of us head off on an alcoholic/cocaine bender causing us to lose our children. Hanchett reserves unwrapping the childhood baggage until the end, after you’ve already followed her along on a crazy ride that eventually, miraculously, ends with her family being reunited. She does it in a way that doesn’t make you pity her because she recognizes (thanks to her no-nonsense sponsor, Good News Jack) that healing only comes when you take a hard look at yourself— addiction cannot be blamed on anyone but the addict. Hanchett delves deep into the darkness of depression and addiction as a young mother, writing from her perspective at the time, so what seems like absolutely irrational choices somehow make sense when you view it from the addict’s point of view. Even if you do want to shake her! I couldn’t read it in one sitting because I had to digest chunks before I could move forward. There were tears, some laughter, and a dose of not-too-sugary inspiration. Plus, the writing is just so incredible I wanted to savor it longer. I actually found Hanchett’s story relatable in many ways, even though my own journey to motherhood is different. She really boils down the lies we tell ourselves, and calls bullshit on perfect parenting. I haven’t read a memoir that forced me to look so closely at myself and my own shortcomings. Such a good read, I’ll be sharing with all my friends.

An amazingly gifted and talented writer, Janelle Hanchett has bared her soul, life, mistakes and triumphs in this breathtaking and emotional memoir. Having followed her blog for years, I could not wait to read her book and was thrilled to receive an advanced copy to review. I have finished only one other book since my 4 year old was born and that only happened because I brought it on a business trip. Once I started I’m Just Happy to Be Here, I couldn’t put it down.

Janelle uses her words to paint such a vivid picture of her story, I often felt as if I was there with her. There is no sugar-coating, no happy snippets, and no bullshit – it is real, transparent, and Janelle owns every choice she makes. It is refreshing to have someone share their struggles, self-doubts, mistakes, and gratitude with such deep sincerity. Read this book, you will love it.

What a read. Janelle's searingly honest, unflinching memoir of her life as an addict, a mom, the dark period of her life where those two roles collided, and her hard, courageous slog out is riveting. She unites self-awareness with deep, informed compassion for anyone who's gone through addiction struggles, and especially for the parents trying to be there for their children while fighting their demons. "I'm Just Happy To Be Here" is beautiful writing, and a story that will linger long past the final page.

This is the mothering memoir for fans of Penelope Spheeris, Tim Burton, Courtney Love and David Lynch. It’s the Prozac Nation of motherhood stories. It’s the journey of driving her 5 year old high, stumbling, strung out and hungover to birthday parties. Of Ambien and Klonopin and whiskey-soaked days and nights, and of finally getting up, showing up, growing up and putting up with the sorry-not-sorry psyche of a recovering addict who decided to spawn four times.
With poetry, Hanchett crystalizes the agony and ecstasy of mothering. The longing for some solitude again, and the horrific realization that you will never again truly have it. For once we have a child, we HAVE him. “I always had a posture or a scheme to get out of a life that wasn’t working. But motherhood, motherhood is a trap. It’s like the ... ‘Hotel California’: You can check out, but you can never leave.”…”I couldn’t stay and I couldn’t leave, and when the permanence of motherhood dropped onto me, when I understood that no matter where I physically went I would not escape it, my panic was indescribable.” In this passage, the whole of the entire world’s mother-tribe is sewn together with the thread of an ancient, visceral truth.

Having been a longtime reader (and superfan) of Janelle's blog, I was excited to have opportunity to give this a pre-launch read. Even better -- It arrived on my doorstep about an hour before I left on vacation, so I had hours and hours do take this book down without interruption.

I wasn't sure what to expect as I dove in. I'm a mom, yes, and one who has experienced a different sort of early adulthood trauma (that certainly colored my world for many years). But I wasn't sure how not being able to relate to addiction might impact my experience of the book.

All I have to say is wow. Just wow. The writing is brilliant, which I already knew it would be. What I wasn't prepared for was how moved I would be by the courage and honesty Janelle lays out there for all of us to experience. No, I've not dealt with addiction issues, but yes, I could relate to a lot of what she wrote in terms of the challenges of adjusting to life as a parent, an employee, an adult, and a human -- in a world where you don't always feel like you fit in (and, sometimes, don't want to fit in at all).

If you're ready to be moved, and understand that life isn't always tidy, this is your book.

I have been following Janelle's blog Renegading Mothering for years, and when she said she was writing a book, I could not have been more excited. I received an advanced reader copy and it took me days to finish it. Not because it wasn't good, it was absolutely amazing. It took me days because there were parts that just knocked me out. Where I needed to underline the worlds, read, and re-read the paragraph and sit with it for a day or two.

Janelle takes you there. There are so many things about her that there are glimpses of on the blog, but the depth of her depression, her addiction and her family trauma are explored in ways that rip your heart out and hand it to you, barely beating.

What I love about this book is there are no secrets. She lets you into her head. Her always witty, but oftentimes selfish, self-centered, obnoxious addicted brain. There were parts of the book where I literally screamed "Janelle!" But, by the end, you appreciate her honesty. Her journey. Her willingness to be open about everything she is on the page.

The honesty extends to her ideas about motherhood (which is what drew me to her in the first place). The world and the interwebs want us to think that motherhood is this romantic journey of love and laughter and kisses (and it is). But it is also exhausting, frustrating, and can be unfulfilling and monotonous. The same beautiful face that covers you with butterfly kisses can make you want to pull your own top lip over your head if only for a moment of peace.

This book is a must read. And I will revisit it often.

Jenelle is my tribe! I also identify with feeling like all the type-A mothers are ‘doing it right’: attending PTA, hand-crafting party favors and appetizers with cute animal faces, speaking with vapid enthusiasm over major milestones - i.e.‘WE learned to potty this week!’... and I have to bite my tongue not to respond in sarcasm to the ‘we’ pronoun. I’m left with the realization that I am a mother who is either A) cynical B) weird C) lazy D) not cut out for parenting... or E) most of these moms are on Valium.
I’ve been questioning this for over a decade of being a mom. Enter Janelle’s blog... I must have read it in 2 days! She’s a kindred spirit, and I wish I could have sat next to her on the playground and chatted about motherhood in it’s truthfulness and honesty as she does so well on her blog and in her book. Love &Respect for you Janelle?

Fantastic. A Big WOW!!! This is an extremely well-written, and wonderful memoir from a fresh honest voice, who knocked my socks off!!! I was "IN" from page one, and then off-and-running. Janelle tells her story from numerous psychological layers, that only a talented and gifted writer can write from. She carried, me, the reader to everything I expect from a Memoir.

From the first chapter of her surprise of motherhood to recovery and then healing, and then helping others, I felt like I was being guided into a place of both wisdom, and humor. And this combination is seldom done 100% well. Either one overshadows the other, and you end up putting the book down because the author is still not sure what he/she is doing, or where they are taking you, or you read it over time not sure why you are still reading. Now with this book! This is writing extraordinaire!

What I loved the most about this book was that I thought about throughout the day. I read in the morning, and I wanted to read it all the time, not to finish it, but to hang out with Janelle. To watch her dive into herself more thoroughly and whole heartedly. To hear her story and to cheer her on. I loved it. You will too.

I have been a fan of Janelle Hanchett since discovering her blog, Renegade Mothering. When I heard that she was writing a book I was desperate to get my hands on it. This is a woman whose blog posts were like a lifeline to me during my early and difficult days as a new parent. Her take on motherhood was refreshing during those sleepless nights and sweaty days with my newborn. When so much of the information out there was about enjoying the moment, she was the one voice telling me that it was okay if I thought this part sucked. She dealt with cracked nipples and hating your body with comedy, compassion, and curse words. It was everything I needed, when I didn't know that I needed it. I was relieved that I wasn't alone in feeling lost, unhappy, and frustrated.

Then I read the book. It does not disappoint! I was lucky enough to get an advanced reader copy of, I'm Just Happy to Be Here, and it was almost like a look behind the curtain. The memoir is haunting, riveting, and although she would hate to hear it, INSPIRING. Whether you're a parent, an addict, or just a human being whose life isn't quite on the path you thought it would be on, READ THIS BOOK. You'll thank me, and you'll love her.

(You'll probably also hate me at times when the twists and turns of Janelle's life have you cursing right along with her.)

I can't say enough good things about this book. And no matter how I try, I'll never do the feelings I have about it justice. I love this book.

Thanks for sharing your story with us Janelle!! We're happy you're here, too.

This book is incredibly readable, but wait, what the hell does that mean, Chenay? It's a book for Christ's sakes! Well, yah, but when you're reading a book about alcoholism, drug addiction, and babies who are missing their mom, I don't think that the word readable comes to mind. However, Janelle Hanchett's witty writing, infused with stark truth and laugh-your-ass-off humor, will make you want to keep turning the pages, even after you just read something that made your heart split open. I'm so grateful I received an advanced copy of this book and I will be thinking about Janelle's words for a long time.

I found this book very relatable. I would like to prefis this with, I’m not a mother nor am I an adict, but I am human. In ‘I’m Just Happy To Be Here’ Hanchett shares a story we are all aware of and have seen play out in the lives of friends and possibly even family be it up close or from affar. But she tells it from the inside, the front line, with hummor, witt, and zero sugar coating. When the book was over I found myself longing for the next chapter luckily her blog Renigade Mothering can provide hours more reading in a quicker punchier style. The book, written in a more classic literary style is beautiful and worth a read if you are human.

I absolutely loved this book. She captures so many moments with such clarity you feel like you know her, you feel her, you could be her. You don't have to be an addict, a woman, or even a mother to enjoy this memoir. Her writing style alone will have you sucked in till the wee hours of morning. The book is about a young mother's journey through addiction and out the other side. But there's much more than just that. There are moments in the book where she reveals raw honest truths about what motherhood can feel like. How isolating and boring is can be and in that truth there is so much power. I read it with a knot in my stomach like, "she gets me!" I found myself saying over and over. I could not put it down and immediately gave it to my friend who also devoured every page. I strongly recommend this book to anyone looking for their people in world full of rainbows and perfect parent blogs. You will stand up and cheer when it's over.

A heartbreakingly honest, gut-laughingly hysterical, brutal, self-effacing, breath-of-fresh-air cathartic, and a totally riveting read. I’m neither a mother nor an addict, and this book resonated so deeply with me in the context of just belonging to the larger family of flawed humans, doing our best, falling short, confronting self-doubt, and then somehow experiencing moments of sheer victory just at the fact of our continued existence. I want to buy this book for everyone I know—not just the mothers struggling to find their identity or the addicting disappointing themselves and their loved ones for the five hundredth time, but for everyone. It’s a love letter to family, and ultimately to the self.

I've been following Janelle Hanchett for years, and have always enjoyed her sarcastic, reality-check take on parenting. Maybe because we have similar-aged children (how many times did I open a new post and think - I was just wondering the same thing!!!), maybe because I like to play the skeptic - but I've always come away from her blog posts feeling seen and also lifted up.

This novel, though, pierced me. This is not funny Janelle. This is Janelle slowly removing layer and layer of pain in her life. This is the the story of a woman's descent down into pain and a numbing addiction. This is the story of a woman's rage.

But mostly, this was a story of redemption. There are no cliched 'battles with her demons.' She tries to kick her addiction in many conventional ways, but all of those roads of self-control and self-improvement lead her back to her addiction. Her way out of addiction is not about the addiction, but about herself. It is about a woman facing the horrors of her own self, and receiving forgiveness, and then moving forward into a life of freedom.

What I loved about this story is that you don't have to be an addict to understand this story. You don't have to be a mother to understand this story. You don't have to be a woman to understand this story. You just have to be a human, glorious and broken, angry and beautiful.

This is the heart-breakingly beautiful story of motherhood through the messiness and disasters of alcoholism. It's the hero's journey that is hitting rock bottom and realizing that no one is going to save you except yourself, it is a memoir of "recklessness, rehab, and renegade mothering." It is a balm for the soul and a reminder of our solidarity as women and mothers and humans in this often-messy life.

Here's an example of why I am in love with the way Janelle Hanchett writes:

"I suppose some of us don't have the luxury of neatly wrapped truth, of affirmations that rest on our tongue like peppermints. Some of us need to be doused in gasoline and set aflame, until the truth consumes us, and we have no choice but to recreate ourselves. A collision, as Baldwin says, when one must choose to live or die.

"I didn't want to feel better. I wanted to live.

"I didn't want the pain gone. I wanted it to mean something.

"When I found my voice, I didn't find answers--I found a purpose for every moment I had lived. I found power in every blackened room in my mind, every fear, every sad parent, every futile word and nightmare memory.

"Because it led me to you, to the place where we are the same, to the place where words draw a line from my bones to yours, and you look at me and say, 'I know,' and I look back at you, thinking, Well, I'll be damned. I guess we've been here together all along."

I love the Renegade Mothering blog and I loved this book even more. I devoured it in 2 days but only because I had to work. The pure, raw honesty of this story poured off the page and into my heart. While I haven't walked in Janelle's shoes as a woman and a Mother this story spoke to me. This book will reach many people's guts for many reasons. My favorite read by far.

If you are reading this, you are probably wondering- should I buy this book?? Yes. 100% yes. Buy this book. It's not a rags to riches story. It's not light and fluffy. It's full of heart and soul and truth and pain. It's a story that isn't often told. The daily life of an addict. The reality of addiction isn't shiny or pretty and our world needs more real stories about "those people". Because addicts are real people, with stories and lives and I wish I could better put into words what this story is about, but know that it's deep and raw and perfect.

I have followed Janelle's blog for years and always found myself crying / laughing hysterically. I found she 'got me' more than any other writer, about motherhood, womanhood, and human-hood. Her writing has helped me articulate and understand experiences I didn't know how to communicate in my own words.

Her book is so much more than that. It's searing, devastating, heart-wrenching, and above all beautiful. She doesn't hold anything back, and she lets you into her world with witty, trenchant honesty.

Highly recommend. I devoured in two days, finding little spaces of time in my day to dive back in, again and again. I couldn't put it down.

I just ate this book up. As a recovering alcoholic myself, it spoke the truth. Not exaggerated, not watered down, but just the truth. And in words so clear, it took me right back. And then brought me all the way to enormous gratitude. I adore Janelle's blog and this book was another level of being wowed by her writing. I'm so thankful for her sharing her story and again for the notion that I do fit in with so many, even when I feel as if I don't with so many others. I have a place and it's hard and ugly and beautiful and disgusting and maddening and absolutely where I want to be. With moms like Janelle out there, I know I'm not alone.

This book falls in the category of ignore-my-kids-good. It was challenging to read about the authors’ struggle with addiction to drugs and alcohol, early unplanned pregnancy, and continuous fight, one day at a time through life, however it was truly an engaging page turner. Janelle Hanchett is an artist with words and paints a vivid picture about her daily struggles as an addict, wife, and mother. Were there times I felt sad for her? Yes. Were there times I wanted to be her? Yes. She has a drive and need to celebrate life I wish I had. She came out on top of a scary addiction, takes one day at a time, and we should all be thankful she decided to share her story with us.

I truly enjoyed this book. I too have struggled finding and/or embracing the joys of motherhood. I feel as though there are times I have turned to alcohol as a way of coping. I am fortunate to not have gone to the depths that Janelle has.
However this book is also so much more than an addiction story. It tells a journey of a young mother and her quest to find herself. The writing keeps you hooked.

I loved this book, I devoured this book and refused to put it down (I also didn't want it to end). This book is honest, brutal, hilarious, and heartbreaking. She depicts the struggles she faced/faces so well, you feel like you were with her every step of the way. This is a must read!

Janelle has been able to put all the triumphs and failures we experience as mothers into a moving and blunt memoir that leaves us feeling so much less alone, but oh so raw about our mothering. The ability of her prose to hit you right in the gut is one of the reasons people either love her or hate her. This book, and her blog, bring to life the deep dark moments of motherhood, and how we find the light anyways. Props to Janelle's bravery for highlighting that addiction isn't always overcome by pregnancy, and that love shows up in the places we aren't looking.

This book is an incredible description of hitting the bottom, bouncing, and falling further only to finally learn how to accept yourself as you are on a daily basis. Whether you are an alcoholic, addict, child or family member of one or just someone who struggles with accepting yourself this a book you need to read. Janelle allows us to follow her journey of addiction from childhood to present day. This book made me laugh, cry and see some things a new way. We all struggle to accept ourselves and I find myself daily hearing Jack say, "You are human" and "get the out of yourself." *edited for the store This book is not a "how to get sober" book but it does show you a possible path. I highly recommend this book. I have already read it twice and cannot wait to hear Janelle read it on the audio book.