And the Secret of a Good Life - A Southern Girl

It was a thought-provoking book. Writing about about a sister who has died has to be a challenge, and you can see the author's attempt to paint her as nearly perfect in one sense, yet human and flawed in the other. One of the things I reflected on after reading it was that, at the end, Ruthie suffered in great pain and her family was not prepared for her death. This can lead to complicated grief. Ruthie could have died at home much more peacefully if hospice had been involved, and bereavement support would have been available at no cost to the children and her husband. As a nurse, that was my sad regret for Ruthie and her family.

This is a well written account of the short but loving life of Ruthie Leming by her brother Rod Dreher. She lived her life loving and helping people in her town no matter their standing. Rod would learn

more about life after Ruthie's death then he could have imagined.

There were so many things that I could identify with in "The Little Way of Ruthie Leming" as a smart girl from rural Louisiana. But I would go so far as to say that this is a good book that has themes that anyone could identify with: didn't feel like you fit in, coming home, faith, family, values, appreciating your roots, illness, family trials. Well written and engaging story. Yes, it's sad but also uplifting. Definitely worth your time.

I admire the author so much, as I know how hard this may have been to write. He does a real tribute to his sister, and there are many insightful comments that I found really helpful for anyone going through life. I recommend this book.

Inwardly and maybe outwardly, the book will make you laugh and cry. It will make you long for the beauty of family, friends, and community, and remind you that perfection does not exist if you seek them. If you read it for what it is worth, the book will touch your mind and heart.

I could make my attempts at writing an eloquent review, but the only thing that I need to say is that you NEED to read this book. It is a wonderful, wonderful read. You'll be all the better for taking the time to read this story. Stop what you're doing and buy it right now. Once you have it in your hands, start reading and don't stop until it's done. Wait a few days or so and then read it again.

If I wanted an example of how to write a story about my family, my neighborhood, and the people I loved as I grew up, this would be it. I learned something about home and family in this story and how love transcends everything.

Whether intentionally or not, we all track a life and leave a trail (legacy). The quality and quantity of that legacy accumulates in our life time like compound interest. What Ruthie demonstrated and Rod, with his commentary, illuminates is the eternal energy that she left to family and friends. We have a choice in our own lives as to what quality and quantity of energy for good we will leave as our legacy. The little way of Ruthie can be our example and guide. Thank you Ruthie and Rod.

Well written, intimate, compelling and moving story. It does make you cry, pine for places and people gone by, and provides social commentary, sometimes up-front, and sometimes between the lines. The story raises serious questions about what community and place is and why it's so vitally important to us individually and collectively. A great read, from a great author.

Moving account of complicated familial love & grudging respect. Small town life can be loving but horribly stifling all at once. The author well captures his struggle for acceptance, and doesn't credit himself with his efforts to make peace with family members who don't share his commitment.

There was a great Atlantic Monthly article about this book. It was a better written synopsis than this full length book. While I appreciated the author's honesty, I felt the premise of his book was sabotaged by his wallowing in self-introspection. It would have been nice to have had him resolve some of that confusion prior to writing his book. His sister does sound like she impacted lots of lives and that small town life does have benefits, but after discovering how she poisoned people against the author, one is reminded of why small towns can also make you feel claustrophobic...

This is a must read.....I could not put it down....Being from a small town in Louisiana I could relate to much of the story of how small town people will support you in time of need and love you no matter your faults...I had the opportunity to listen to Rod speak of his book in Monroe, LA and was even more impressed.

I will read this again soon. It is a story of a common life that reminds the reader of the important things in life. It encourages me to make the time to love others, to be faithful in the little things and to seek forgiveness and reconciliation while there is still time.

I came here from Vietnam when I was 15 & had lived in Baton Rouge for about 9 yrs. No matter where you are from, this book will touch you in many ways. I can't remember when it was the last time that reading a book made me cry so much...

When reading this book, I feel like I am surrounded by the precious community life that is St. Francisville, La. Heartfelt story-- my book club read it and had the author come talk to us. I didn't want the book to end -- it was great.

This book is a thoughtful and honest story of a family and community living through the sadness of a cancer diagnosis of one of their best-loved daughters. I was reminded of the value of connections that endure over a lifetime, in spite of circumstances. It was well-written and an easy read.

The little way of Ruthie Leming was incredible. While a theology book presents an idea, a philosophy through propositions, this did so much more through the telling of a story that we can all find ourselves in. Though my wife mocked me by calling it my girly book, I assure you men that it is worth the read if you're the more reflective type.

Read this book as soon as you can. I have not read a more compelling, thought-provoking (contemporary) book in some time.

Read more in my review here: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/anxiousbench/2013/08/rod-drehers-little-way-of-ruthie-leming/#ixzz3G50KiycJ

It is about so many things...community, family, redemption....but mostly it Is about love. I think one of the reasons I especially enjoyed it was because it is about growing up in a small town....something I can identify with.

Rod Dreher has written a wonderful biography. Sad stories are wonderful only if they are underwritten by faith. TLWRL is a Southern story, therefore it is about localism and family, both underwritten by faith. I highly recommend it.
Personal prejudice: As a boy from Mississippi, I rode the St Francisville Ferry in the 50s more than once while visiting Louisiana.

I just finished reading the boo and I had a big sense of peace, as if I had lived the story with Rod Dreher. He makes you feel part if it. I enjoyed it but it was a bit slow, mainly the long details of Ruthie' s life. However I don't regret the hours I spent reading and pondering... a deep and rich reading.

First, let me explain my perspective as a reader. I don't normally read this book's genre: no memoir, no Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia for me. I picked up THE LITTLE WAY OF RUTHIE LEMING because of a feature I heard on NPR. I was attracted by the theme of small-town community vs big-city isolation, and my own life experience sounded somewhat similar to the author's.

So I cannot compare this book to similar feel-good books of popular wisdom. I bet it compares favorably: Rod Dreher writes well, and this book had excellent editorial support to shape the narrative so it pushes all the right buttons at the right times. It is rich in "telling details", portrays the main characters (including the narrator) as admirable people with just enough subtle flaws to keep them human, and is run through with "light" religious themes that are bland enough to appeal to a wide Christian audience without offending anyone. The truths expressed are nothing revolutionary, and have a sweetness and delight to them. These are probably the features most readers are looking for in this type of book. If you are one of them, you will like it.

But I was hoping for more, specifically on the theme of how isolated rural communities are a double-edged sword. Because of their intimacy, they can offer stability, support, love, and a sense of belonging in times of crisis. Conversely, the same intimacy can be stifling, restrictive, judgmental, and petty. Author Dreher makes a few nods to the dark side but overall this book shines a spotlight on the positive. The Louisiana town in this tale is acknowledged as having a few faults but is mostly held up as a place of salvation for the world-weary journalist-author, who in real life chooses to move back to the tiny town after his sister dies.

And they lived happily ever after? Maybe. Dreher has two key flashes of insight in this book. First, he notes his error in thinking his sister's life in a small town was equivalent to "living a small life." He was wrong about that; a person's value, happiness, or success are not determined by the size of the community in which they live. Second, he recognizes that he has spent his life building a career in one city after another while his sister built something different, which he likens to a levee that holds back the flood when the crisis of her life comes. These are beautiful truths. But he minimizes the tradeoffs. Small town life isn't for everyone, and it's not just intellectuals like Dreher who might want to get out. If you fit in and your tastes and values conform to local standards, life can be beautiful. The Dreher family had three generations of local homecoming queens. That strikes me as a family that epitomizes the values of its community. But what about other families in town? Do they enjoy the same level of tremendous support, admiration, and love that the Drehers did?

Maybe they do, maybe they don't. I think the key point is that Ruthie Leming was an exceptional woman, and the community responded to that. Does that make her community an exceptional community? I live in a city of a million people. Recently a young father of similar stature to Ruthie died suddenly. We are not a small town with deep roots across generations, but the community responded with an outpouring not unlike what Rod Dreher describes. "Small-town values" can and do exist in cities, too.

In summary, this is a pretty book, a well-written book, a book I read from start to finish. The first 1/2 to 2/3 is gentle pathos set up to bring a tear to your eye many times. It offers uncontroversial wisdom that readers can nod in agreement with. It mostly tells a story about a loving woman struck down by cancer. It purports to prove that small town life is a balm to many ills, but it dances lightly around the question of trade-offs: what the small town (or big city) gives AND takes away. The "pro" side of small town life gets virtually all the attention. The "cons" are largely ignored.

I enjoyed the themes of the book and the good writing. I'm interested in life in the southern states and the book gives so much of a sense of this specific place in Louisiana and the people there.

.........
It took a long time for the book to arrive and I would have liked to have been better informed on the wait time. Also I thought by doing an application for the store "membership" I would be getting a discount on my purchase. Isn't there some discount associated with the application I filled out?
Joyce MacKenzie

If you left home for somewhere far away, read this book.

If you left home to "make it" in the world, read this book.

If you left home because you hated it there, read this book.

If you suffer, or ever have suffered, read this book.

If you've ever wondered whether there is any cosmic meaning in suffering, read this book.

If you need to forgive someone, or if you need forgiveness, read this book.

If you love a person or a place but struggle mightily with *liking* him, her or it . . . read this book.

If you wonder whether, indeed, you can go home again, read this book.

If you wonder how you can make where you are now "home," read this book.

Just read this book.

What a heart wrenchingly beautiful book. Rod Dreher honours his sister, Ruthie, as he tells the story of her life and death. He ponders the contrast between his life of moving from place to place for work's sake and Ruthie's rootedness in a loving community in southeastern Louisiana. It has been a long time since an author's words moved me so deeply.

I loved this story. I love to see life through other peoples experiences. Why do we get hurt by some things for a life time? How do my sisters view my choices? How do I view their choices? I loved seeing how Ron grew. It is worth reading and thinking about how things have shaped your life.

Not many books grab me like this one did. Even with books I like, it will take a week or two to read them, but I blazed through this one in a couple of days.

I've followed Rod Dreher's work for years and followed this story when it was unfolding in real time on his blog. Those were among the most memorable posts I'd ever read, so it didn't surprise me when he decided to do a book about his little sister, her untimely death, his hometown, and his own search for meaning.

Given all cliché potential in the subject matter - the sister as a simple country girl; the urbane sophistication of the brother who left the stuffy oppression of the small town; the search for reconciliation between semi-estranged siblings; the definition of true success in life - Dreher does a great job of telling a story that isn't neat and tidy and doesn't have a classic happy ending, all the while avoiding the many sentimental traps along the way. That doesn't mean it isn't a tear-jerker. It certainly jerked more than a few tears from me, but not in the Hallmark movie sort of way that leaves me annoyed at falling for their tear-trap. On the story telling score, Dreher scores a solid five-star rating.

On the lessons for life score, I don't think he did as well. The book isn't a Christian book or a religious book as such, but god is ever present in Ruthie's simple faith and in Dreher's much more philosophical and complicated faith. As is often the case in tragedies, people try to understand god's plan and to find the good in all the sorrow. They try and answer the classic theological question of why a good and loving god lets bad things happen, especially to good people. Dreher might say that Ruthie's death and the town's reaction to her death showed him the importance of family and roots and community and faith to the point of actually moving back to his home town with his wife and kids.

But if it were god's plan for Ruthie to die, leaving behind a grieving husband and three young daughters, so that Rod and his family could feel fulfilled by moving back to his extended family and hometown, is that what a just and loving god would do? Is that trade-off worth it?

If that's how god works, he's a jerk.

Quite a moving story about a woman who stayed close to home, and her brother who moved away to find a home. A tear jerker, but really sort of repeated itself and went exactly where you thought it would. Not as life changing as advertised.

I heard about this book on a radio program and was looking for something to read. I cried through the last 3/4. The characters aren't perfect people and that was nice to see. They are your average family with average problems and everyone deals as they know how. I enjoyed the realness of this book. Also, it flowed well and got down to business.

The tale of a life well lived told with such a flair that I could barely put it down. Ruthie's legacy reminds us that how we live our ordinary lives can produce extraordinary results. Thank you, Mr. Dreher for sharing the story of Ruthie so that the rest of us can consider how the little details in our lives can impact our own family and friends.

I might have finished this tale much more quickly, had I not had to physically close my Kindle in order to halt the uncontrollable sobbing which blurred the words and made it impossible to continue time and again. I did not know Ruthie Dreher, or her brother, until I read his account. I had only briefly met "his tireless Julie" and Lucas in a chance encounter at the Daniel Clinic, but was curiously drawn to her references of having moved back here to be with Rod's family. Later that week I found out from Mrs. Johnette Rettig that Mrs. Dorothy Dreher's back porch was the magical place my 7 year old spoke of so often, where "the Lady with the pet deer" allowed him to feed them from his hands. An indelible mark on my newly countrified son who had recently moved to this small town with his Brother, Father, and I. There are countless highlights in my electronic version, too numerable to list, but suffice it to say that this book moved me deeply. And Christian Daniel Tregle is right...those kind of things do happen here. All the time. I am undeservedly privileged to call this place home.

I enjoyed the small town aspect of the story. I did not appreciate Ruthie as a sister. I was somewhat confounded by the brother's transformation to Catholicism. The whole time I was reading it I wanted to say, "Oh, get over yourself!"

I am not a writer; just a reader. And I rarely read nonfiction. One of my favorite authors, Eric Metaxas, recommended this book. I am very glad I read it. As a middle-aged woman, the ideas of community and contentment hit me right where I am in my life right now. I am so blessed to have a few "Ruthies" in my life right now. Now to become a "Ruthie" to others. That's the trick.

I really enjoyed this book even though some time I got bogged down with facts. Amazing that cells can last so long and do so much for humanity. It is also wonderful to see that the family finally got some recognition and say in what happens with their loved ones cells even though they did not make any money from her. Seems quite unfair to me.

The voice of the narrator is pompous, condescending and pretentious. He uses his sister ...her life, her death, her family and friends, to show you what a good guy he is. I don't like him. I didn't like the book. It is reasonably well written and organized... It supposedly makes a case for community and hometown living which the author left in his teenage years and returns to as a family man with young children...but I doubt he'll last in Louisiana and I'm afraid I pity his neighbors.

It seems almost cavalier to be critical of this moving book. But at times I felt like throwing it across the room.Rod Dreher grew up in rural Louisiana and didn’t like it.He didn’t begin to thrive until he got out of his hometown. Later , he moves to big cities - Washington, New York , Dallas , Philadelphia- where he becomes a successful writer and a fairly well known conservative commentator.Yet, something is always nagging him, his family.His father apparently believed that his children were obligated to spend their lives living next door to him. His sister actually did and apparently combined her fathers world view with a life long envy of her brother.She apparently resented that her brother made more money than she and her husband.Although a college graduate and teacher ,she was deeply anti intellectual and viewed a writers life with contempt.

Ruthie was apparently a good teacher who made a difference in children’s lives.She becomes seriously ill and dies. Look you would have to have a heart of stone not to be moved by the passages dealing with her suffering and death. The community rallies around Ruthies family in a manner which is exemplary.Dreher is so impressed he decides to move back to his hometown and its here I started to get annoyed.Look maybe the move is a good idea but Dreher seems so determined to convince you of this that you can’t help but wonder if he isn’t trying to convince himself. Then there’s his attitude towards his sister , he really wants you to think she’s a saint. However once I read the bouliabase story , I wasn’t buying it.Dreher struggles with the fact that his sister didn’t like him. He’s dying to blame himself and I felt like screaming at him when he does.

Dreher himself makes me uneasy. He’s a smart interesting person but he seems to want to delude himself about a lot of things. I’m a little uneasy about the way he seems to routinely have direct communication from the beyond. This isn’t mockery.It just seems a little too routine for Dreher. He expects it and it happens.

Finally a comment that may come as a surprise. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and hope Mr. Drehers move worked out.

I started teaching in the LSU Philosophy Department after Mr. Dreher had graduated. But my older colleagues would remember him fondly as we talked about his articles and then blog at Belief Net and the American Conservative. Whenever you see one of your students do such interesting intellectual work (in Dreher's case, (a) returning conservatism to its communitarian roots and then doing the hard work of honestly following that where it leads, and (b) humbly sharing his experiences in trying to be a good Christian) it's tremendously validating. At a time when higher education is to some extent under siege in Louisiana, students like Mr. Dreher make it still worth it.

Aristotle once said, "We love our teachers, but we love the truth more." And with this book Dreher has surpassed all of us still here at LSU. The teachers become students, and it's no longer a matter of feeling validated for having done a good job. The wisdom and beauty of the text just obliterate that.

It's one thing to announce simple wisdom such as love and kindness being the most important things. But quite another to live this wisdom. Mr. Dreher's love letter to his dead sister, his family, and their community is in no small part brilliant and moving precisely because it instantiates the very qualities it encourages.

This is as far from a self-help book as one can get. There is nothing trite in it. The horrors of bullying, cancer, loss, and the kind of festering, stupid arguments that separate us from those we love most are unflinchingly depicted. You will cry when you read this. . . Just last night I read Mr. Dreher's depiction of Mike Lemming's animal howl when his wife died. The description of Mr. Dreher's nieces confronting their dead mother and wounded father is one that will remain with you.

The only book I have to compare this with is C.S. Lewis' "A Grief Observed," though I think that Mr. Dreher is more successful than Lewis at wringing genuine meaning from tragedy. I hope from this point forward that people will read the books as a pair.

One thing I'd like to comment on that I haven't seen in the reviews thus far is Mr. Dreher's wonderful depiction of the numinous aspects of reality in the book. Typically in literature one only gets this kind of thing with surrealism, which actually falsifies the phenomena. Mr. Dreher present these experiences in a straightforward and epistemically humble way. He reports the experiences of himself and others feeling presences in the room that impart wisdom. He shares a startling dream where Ruthie tells him it's going to be O.K. His meditations on a couple of photographs explore the uncanny way that the deepest spiritual reality can be mechanically captured. He never claims to know what exactly is going on here, but just presents what happened. . .

Following old Celtic terminology, theologian N.T. Wright calls such experiences "thin spaces," where the kingdom of heaven edges over into our reality, and he makes them one of the corners of his apologetics (following Lewis, the other important one is a pervasive sense that the world is fallen). I think that we all have experience with these thin spaces, but we are so quick to dismiss them that we end up denying a central part of the human experience. One of the many good things that might come from Ruthie Lemming's suffering and Mr. Dreher's book is that readers might be a little less distrustful of their own profound experiences of the numinous.

But more importantly, this morning I'm going to call my parents and tell them that I love them. I'm going to by a present for my nephew. Please read this book. You'll do the same.

I was just sure that I was going to love this book and buy copies for everybody. I'd loved Rod's videos that he filmed for Andrew Sullivan and I was sure that his story was mine.

I, too, just moved back to Louisiana with my family to give my child a life of crawfish boils and LSU games, after moving way too many times in 17 years. My mom was a beloved receptionist at my grammar school for 20+ years; everyone adored her, called her an angel. When she died of breast cancer in 2005, then named the school library after her.

Unfortunately, I felt like the writing in the first half of the book was hokey. Ruthie's childhood, courtship and marriage to Mike, and motherhood were described without any negativity or conflict. I kind of felt like I was reading a modern-day "Little House on the Prairie," with Mam and Paw and barn dances. He even used the phrase "derring-do."

I figured, okay, he wrote the book for her young children, for them to remember their mama. Of course it wouldn't be negative, shouldn't be negative. I kept reading.

I cried through the entire section describing Ruthie's illness and death. What really got me were the lunch notes that were still in the girl's lunchboxes on the day she'd died.

Then Rod Dreher begins to delve more deeply into the underlying tension between him and his sister; that's when things got more realistic. I guess what I couldn't figure out is why that wasn't in the first part of the book. Ruthie's flaws do not diminish her overall character; they make her more relatable.

I did love the few pages where Rod explains why people need to set down roots, and I'd hoped for more about this topic in the book, as another reviewer has mentioned.

So I guess my reaction is mixed. The first half is disappointing, but there are many magical moments that we disconnected Americans -- who as Rod says experience the cities to which we move as "consumers" -- need to be reminded of.

I have vacillated between two and three stars for this review ever since I finished the book several weeks ago. Rod Dreher starts out on page one with an anecdote from his childhood, when his sister lovingly tried to take the punishment for his own misbehavior; from here, he goes on to spend a lot of time telling us about his sister's apparently picture-perfect life. But then, as the narrative proceeds, he slips in details and descriptions that seem to paint Ruthie as a not so very nice person. This is a passive-aggressive kind of memoir, one moment putting her up on an unreachable pedestal but then adding some cutting remarks that reveal a lot of still-unresolved negative feelings.

It is perhaps this kind of unresolved relationship that makes the book most worth reading, as there are many people who often have had to deal with these same feelings when a family member or friend dies "too early" for the relationship to be healed. If that is something that resonates with you, you may find this to be a helpful book.

My concern, however, is that the book was written way too soon. The precipitous decision to move from their urban home back to the very same town that Dreher fled from years before may end up all right for him, for his wife, and for his kids, but these kinds of lifestyle changes very often do not work out. After only a few years, the rosy daydream of being able to resolve prior conflicts and issues is crushed by the old realities. I would find this a far more compelling story if he had made the shift several more years ago and can tell us how the "happily ever after" really turns out. Is the "secret of a good life" really something he has found after all? Way too soon to tell.

I love Rod's writing and I've been looking forward to this book a great deal. His writing throughout his sister's illness and in the wake of her tragic death was beautiful, heartfelt, and poignant. It also made me think. When I heard he got a book deal to write this story I was thrilled, because I know the ultimate message of this book is something that we all need to hear.

I particularly love the way Rod manages to tell the tale of Ruthie's small town life in a real and honest way. It would have been easy to ignore Ruthie's flaws and pretend she was perfect. Rod manages not to do that, which is a real triumph. Instead he makes Ruthie real and he ensures we can all identify with her one way or another.

I hope this book is a smashing success and I highly recommend it to anyone who is interested in community, faith, and family. I promise it will make you think--and you'll be all the better for it.

I lived in St. Francisville for a few years and was in the same class as Ruthie. The author gave an intimate portrayal of life in small town South USA. The challenges, the love, the dedication, the heartbreak, the unending revolving emotions which pass from generation to generation.

I bought an autographed copy of this book from a Baton Rouge Barnes and Noble. I was immediately drawn to it being a Louisiana native very familiar with the area in which it takes place. I even worked for one of the people mentioned in the book while attending LSU. Further, I am from New Orleans but now live in a small town, which made it even more appealing to me. Now that I am 41 years old, books about facing your own mortality interest me. The author and I share a very similar teenaged background of tortured intellectual ponderings versus Ruthie's care-free, somewhat small-minded attitude. I could really identify with the author in that regard. I liked reading about Ruthie, even though she and I are polar opposites.

I agree with some of the others that the author paints [probably an overly optimistic] very romantic picture of what life was like growing up in rural Louisiana. The biggest turn off for me was the author's religious teachings and amazing miracles that seemed to happen to him at every turn. If you are at all averse to constant religious discussion you should avoid this book. Dreher further seems to have been specially selected by God to be the recipient of a number of amazing coincidences, miracles, apparitions, and saintly visits. You will leave this book wondering why you haven't been chosen by God and aren't as special as he is.

Beyond that one caveat, I enjoyed reading this book. Possibly though, that was due in large part to local references that I was familiar with. On the other hand, Dreher's struggle with leaving a rural area to make it big in the big city, only to later return, was interesting also. I'm sure this theme has universal appeal.

I received this book as an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

The Little Way of Ruthie Leming: A Southern Girl, a Small Town, and the Secret of a Good Life written and narrated by Rod Dreher is a story about a family who lives in a small Louisiana town and believes that there is no better life than what is available in their town. Rod is portrayed throughout this story as the outsider. He is not happy staying in his home town and seeks out school and career opportunities outside St. Francisville, LA. The relationship between him and his family becomes strained due to his decision not to return to St. Francisville. This only alienates him further. At the age of 40, his sister, Ruthie, is diagnosed with cancer. Ruthie uses her faith, friends, and family to support her during this time. Rod is moved by the community involvement and decides to return to St. Frnacisville. After his return, they family has to face the previously avoided awkwardness and alienation in their relationships. This proves to be more difficult than they had expected. This story is not just a story about a southern girl in a small town but about the intricacies of relationships, friendship, and love. It is about supporting not just your family but your friends and neighbors and reminds us that we do not always know the story and hardship others may have faced.

This is a complicated book, and not so much about death and bereavement as one would expect. There's a reason that William Young blurbed this book as a memoir. A memoir is understood to be autobiographical, and this book is mostly so. However there are several interesting passages, and even some laugh-out-loud funny parts made at the author's expense. If someone wishes to understand the continuing development of the author's patchwork political ideology this is a great book. Otherwise time is better spent elsewhere. Also there is a lot of religious discussion in the book which is only obliquely related to the death of the author's sister.

The first part of the book introduces Ruthie as the wildly popular, outgoing, tomboy sister of the author who, being the opposite was withdrawn, bookish and hung out with his spinster aunts and their cats. He was unpopular in school, and kids were mean to him. Reading between the lines, one can discern that he earned at least some of this mistreatment in the vein of "Harriet the Spy". Ruthie eventually became the homecoming queen and had a steady boyfriend pretty early on, getting married soon after school. The author couldn't wait to shake the dust of the town off his heels and move somewhere where people appreciated him more than his family and the benighted townsfolk.

The second part discusses Ruthie's sudden illness which a doctor from a nearby town misdiagnoses as an allergy when really it was an aggressive form of lung cancer. Of course this was devastating to their young family with three children and her parents. The author is amazed at how the town rallies around them to help the family with moral and monetary support. This amazement was strange to me; this sort of community support for young victims of deadly illnesses is pretty normal to most people. He expresses the same awe at the size of her funeral, bemoaning his lack of a "deep bench" should he meet his demise in the city where he and his family didn't have as many friends. But it's pretty obvious from any close reading that his funeral wouldn't be as well attended as his sister's even in their hometown.

The strangest parts of the book center on the author's attempt to square his supposed belief in his sister's sainthood with her bad treatment of himself and his family. Some of these are in the form of discussions with his teenage niece on a vacation they took in Paris together, just the two of them, after her mother's death. Amid their conversations, she lets it slip that he should give up trying to get closer to her younger sisters since her mother had conspired with her parents for years to badmouth him around her children, sowing distrust and dislike in her family for the author's family. This revelation incenses him and he expresses his anger in strong terms to his niece who becomes upset and regrets revealing this troubling fact.

Something struck me at that point. The author asserts that his sister is a saint time and again, but it is highly possible that he is primarily trying to convince his readers--and perhaps himself--that he believes this. She was a good teacher who was loved by students, and a good wife and mother. But she was also mean and vindictive to her brother her entire life, never forgave him for slights, and was generally bigoted about anyone who was wealthy or lived in "the big city". She hardly struggled against any of these tendencies, and she spent most of her illness in denial and fear. The last words she uttered were "I'm scared!" right before she died. Her religious practice was mostly ephemeral and therapeutic, and she openly mocked her brother for having a deeper faith and devotion to God. Surely the author's own definition of "saint" can scarcely be applied to her.

I don't know if the book really makes any strong conclusion. The author's decision to move back home is called into question by the revelations in Paris and by a surprising revelation from his father. Within the final pages of the book, his father reveals that he wished he left the town and his family long before, his family mostly being a bunch of jerks who stole land from each other and hated his own choice of a wife, the author's mother. The conclusion that I'm led to myself after reading this book is that the secret to a happy life is to live it rather than analyze it. Socrates might be correct to state that the unexamined life is not worth living, but it's best to examine your life quietly on your own time rather than out loud in front of others.

I'm not sure if this book has changed my life, but I sure hope it does.

It's a true story written by a journalist in a journalistic style, but it feels like literature with its complex storyline and archetypal characters:

The restless young man, who can't wait to get out of his small town and make something of himself, whose ever-curious mind makes him analyze everything and accept nothing at face value, at the expense of contentment.

His homebody little sister, who lives a life of contentment and charity that extends to everyone she has ever met . . . except for her only brother, whose curiosity and peripatetic ways she takes as a personal insult.

Their father, a brilliant man who nonetheless instilled a narrow worldview into his daughter, and who cannot understand his cosmopolitan son.

Their small town, which rejected the young man to the point that he left home at 15 to attend an experimental boarding school for the gifted. The town would come to celebrate the homespun ways of the young woman, who drove home from college every weekend.

We see the siblings grow up, with demonstrated but unspoken love, but with an equally intense something else - part classic sibling rivalry, part class warfare. He wanders the world and scoffs at her simple ways. She stays in their hometown and scoffs at his worldliness. She marries young and builds a house next door to her parents' house. He moves between various East Coast metropolises, climbing the career ladder.

The book is about his sister's untimely battle with cancer and what he learned about her, his family, his hometown, his faith, and himself. It's about what his sister knew that he didn't, and how it changed everyone she met, including - eventually - her brother.

It's certainly worth reading. And it might change your life.

This book starts out pretty slow, and seems like a "navel contemplation" by the author in the beginning. Once you slog through the first part you realize that it is the foundation for the message of the book, which is worth reading. You will recognize traits from your own family and friends in the people described. It seems like a romanticized account, perhaps exaggerated to make the point. The book would be better if it were condensed.

I grew up in St. Francisville, and now live in the community of Star Hill. I had the good fortune of knowing both Rod and Ruthie. I was a little older than both and remember when Rod left our school to go away to boarding school. That was a wonderful move for Rod, but I can only imagine, now as a parent myself, how hard it must have been for both his parents and for his little sister. Rod explains all of this so well in his book. As I read it, I felt as I did when I watched Steel Magnolias and The Help. When you get so caught up in the story and you find yourself laughing out loud one minute and then crying your eyes out the next, it just gets you, it simply touches your heart strings. I think Rod did a wonderful job of dipicting life as we we know it, and how we all feel the need to help when someone is hurting, it is what we do, if we can't fix you then at least let us help you. Ruthie and Mike have three beautiful daugthers with wonderful grandparents and now an Uncle, Aunt and cousins back home to help Mke and make sure that Ruthie's girls are showered with all the love and guidance that I know she wants for her girls and I do believe that she is heaven smiling down on the way God so moved people as a result of her illness. She was a beautiful woman both inside and out and it is a story that I think everyone should read for all the lessons it holds. I read my first copy (ordered off the store before they went on sale)when it finally arrived in the mail, it took me part of Friday night and most of Saturday to read it. Then I wrote a note to my husband and gave it to him to read. Then I went to a local book store where Rod was signing and bought 8 more, one for each of my children, some family members and several for some dear friends and had Rod personalize each one which he did so graciously. My 20 year old son called me the next day to tell me he could not put it down until he finished it. That to me spoke volumes coming from a 20 year old college athlete. He said it was an awesome book, when I asked him if he cried he just said he had a big lump in his throat he could not get rid of. I left it at that. I have not heard from my other recipients yet, however I can't help but think it will be the same reaction if not more so. If you have not yet purchased your copy, you need to do so. It is one you will want to have and keep and read it more than once. Sometimes we just need to be reminded about the importance of family and of friends and what a blessing they are. I will forever treasure my copy of "The Little Way Of Ruthie Leming". I am one of the lucky people that knew Ruthie and her family as well as their extended family but trust me, you don't have to know a single soul in this book to be emotionally touched and feel the urge to be near the ones you love and care for and perhaps mend a few fences. Thanks Rod for an amazing tribute to your sister, your family, yourself, and our community!

I picked this up at my local library. I love true accounts and memoir type books and this sounded so good. It was an okay read. Not great. Yes Ruthie sounds like a lovely person, and her brother has written a lovely tribute to her, family and friends, and the community . It is happy, sad, bittersweet. I have to admit, I found the book slow moving at times, the author's style of writing somewhat choppy and rambling at times, and I found the last third of the book hard to get through. I am sure she was a special lady, loved and admired by many. I don't feel there was any secrets revealed, didn't have any kind of epiphany. Life is short, family and friends are precious, treat others like you would want to be treated, don't take anything for granted. I agree, the author seems to have forgoten the reason he left a small town in the first place. Limited opportunities, no place for square pegs in round holes, gossip and small mindedness.. Not that small towns have a monopoly on these things. Would the community still have rallied if Ruthie was eccentric, a loner, a plain jane? indigent? All in all, an okay read, not a great read. I am sorry for her loss.
I know the pain of losing someone to cancer.

Since when are we classifying cathartic musings as biography? This book is not a biography -- slap a "Self-Help" label on this thing.

The book is a mess. I'm sure the author was a mess, given the circumstances. And writing about a messy situation when you're an emotional mess results in, well... a book like this.

Rod Dreher gives you the obligatory 3 parts:

1) Introductions -- get to know the family's personalities, the conflicts, the author's response to 9-11 (wait, what?), and the community norms in small-town Louisiana.
2) The diagnosis as a rallying cry -- Everybody's personality shines in this section. LOTS and LOTS of spiritual awakening. And LOTS more. And then some MORE.
3) Resolution -- no surprises. More catharsis. More spiritualism.

From the title and word of mouth, I thought this would be a book about Ruthie Leming's fight with cancer. I thought we might read about the value of living in a slow-paced community with widely-flung neighbors who frequently interact. Instead, this book was about the author's fight with/against his family and himself. Who wins? Not the reader.

The reader knows Ruthie Lemming is a special kind of person form the first paragraphs of this memoir. She possessed a unique kind of Grace, acceptance and compassion that made everyone who met her feel welcomed, important and included. In the Southeastern Louisiana town of West Feliciana, a town that "suffers no lack of kind people" she was "possibly the kindest person many (in that town) had ever met" (p.2). Mr. Dreher, Ruthie's brother uses his memories and interviews with other of Ms. Lemming's family members and friends to show just how wonderful she was. By the end of the book, I felt such a connection with this woman that calling her anything but "Ruthie" would seem a betrayal of a friend.
Ruthie and her brother were as opposite as could siblings ever be. He enjoys reading, deep discussions, Spiritual reflection, intellectual pursuits and he left home when he was 17. She loved the outdoors, chatting with people, hunting & fishing, accepted that God existed & loved her and lived all of her 42 years in the community into which she was born. They loved each other deeply and unabashedly but were not always friends. Mr. Dreher cannot grasp why his "saint' (p.248) of a sister held regularly him is such disdain and was so readily judged him without the Grace she so easily gave to others.
Ruthie is diagnosed with a virulent form of Lung Cancer when she was 41 (by the time it was discovered, she was at stage IV, with a life expectancy of six weeks to three months, she survived 19 months). The author visited her, from his home in New York, as frequently as possible but he quickly realized living "away" and, before Ruthie's illness, usually only seeing his family 3 weeks a year, "if we were lucky," was not enough to repair his and Ruthie's relationship. This book is one of hope, redemption and living, it is not a book about death or grief. What he does to find forgiveness and peace with his sister makes up the last 25% of the books' volume but it is the most powerful section of a very moving read. Mr. Dreher's openness in sharing his experience of learning the deep Spiritual truth that Love and rejection can be held with equal tension within a relationship is a worth the cost of reading this book. This mystery can only be experienced - not explained nor completely understood - and accepted; the author allows the readers to see his struggle in all its pain, confusion and resolution.
There is no violence, sex or profanity to be found in these pages of this book. There is sadness, grief, joy, laughter, conflict, revelation and moments of such existential intimacy that they seem to be voyeuristic throughout the book. Have a dry hankie or a fresh box of tissues as you read of Ruthie's illness. Most of the tears I shed were in response to the kindness, generosity and compassion shown to, and by, Ruthie. "The little way" of Ruthie Lemming was revealed to be the power of connection. She touched people on a level that was easily recognized as their "self" and those lucky folks found acceptance as and where they were in that relationship. One of the fruits of such connection is shown to be the hope that we can so freely give to each other and just as freely receive.

I actually never write reviews but this self-indulgent tome motivated me to take to my keyboard. The book can actually divided easily into two parts: the first half vs. the second half. Both are thoroughly annoying in their own ways.

A previous reviewer said it best when she described that reading the 1st half was like reading "Little House on the Prairie". Its a highly idealized, made-for-TV rendition of what Ruthie was like and what it was like to live in small southern town. Ruthie was perfect, her relationships were perfect, the community was perfect (with Maw, Paw, and barn dances) and there wasn't any problem this community couldn't fix with simply a covered dish supper and sharing some ice tea on the front porch. Right. When reading it, one gets the feeling that this highly white washed rendition of Ruthie's life is really not about Ruthie,but rather about the author's baggage with Ruthie, his Paw, and the community and his wanting to create an "I love you man" tribute to atone for it.

The 2nd half at least injects the tiniest bit of realism into the picture by sharing the fact that there are some slight imperfections in his relationships with Ruthie and Paw. But it does so in a truly bizarre passive-aggressive way. He calls Ruthie "a country mouse" and juxtaposes himself as the sophisticated New Yorker whom the country bumpkins of his hometown can't quite handle. He very subtly implies that the challenges in his relationships with Ruthie and Paw are really because of THEIR limited world view rather than any shortcomings in the author himself. Nice.

I won't even go into the extensive parts of the book that deal with the author's religious ramblings. To put these in perspective, it helps to understand that in his day job, the author writes a blog entitled "The American Conservative" which espouses some pretty radical right wing (and thoroughly self-righteous) thinking. Picture Sarah Palin or Rush Limbaugh with a better vocabulary.

The shame is that the beauty of Ruthie herself gets somewhat lost in the extensive flaws in the book. She sounds like the type of person we'd all want to know and have in our lives. And if it was the author's intent to convey that message, then he did. One wonders why a man of his talents had to do it in the most annoying 260 pages ever written.

I didn't have any what this book was about. The story grabbed me instantly. As I read I reflected on how aspects of my own life and family in some ways parallel the story. Highly recommend it and box of tissue is helpful.

I knew Rod Dreher was a good writer and could take me to places of the heart, but I wasn't expecting the vulnerability and exposure I found here. A soul laid bare. I knew the story of Ruthie would be a hard ride, but this is not about the death of a little sister with a good heart--it is, but it's more about awakening. And about a billion other things that will make you laugh and cry. This took courage to write, and standing up against a thousand fears. I'm so glad Rod opened his soul and, "Here it is. This is the ugly, beautiful truth." This is a rich story that keeps giving, just like Ruthie.

This book is just so raw and real it is difficult to put down. Once I began, I was sorry I had a job that prevented me from reading continuously. There are major themes such as coming home and dying well, but mostly, this is just a stirring narrative about the important events in the life of a family. I don't know if being a southerner caused me to connect with Dreher's story so strongly, but I suspect that anyone could benefit from reading this book.

If you grew up in a small Southern town, and stayed, or if you got away as soon as you could; if you loved the sense of community it gave you, or if you found it conformist and stifling; if you grew up in one religious faith and found your way to a very different one, or if you still attend the church you grew up in, or if you scorn the very idea of religious faith, or if you are indifferent to religion; if you have a family member you love but do not understand, or if you feel the people you love do not understand you; if you have people you have hurt that you yearn to make peace with; if you have ever suffered the untimely death of someone you loved, read this book. If none of this applies to you, read this book. Hell--if you are a living, breathing, caring human being--read this book.

On this page there are numerous synopses of the book, and I won't repeat here what you can easily find elsewhere. Some of the descriptions I wrote above apply to me, and some do not. But I cannot imagine anyone who will not find here thoughts and joys and pains that he or she has experienced, illuminated with the honesty and clarity of the author.

This book is a gift. Take it and give thanks for it.

"When a community loses its memory, its members no longer know one another," writes the agrarian essayist Wendell Berry. "How can they know one another if they have forgotten or have never learned one another's stories? If they do not know one another's stories, how can they know whether or not to trust one another? People who do not trust one another do not help one another, a moreover they fear one another. And this is our predicament now."

Writer Rod Dreher has turned my head a couple of times: once when commentator David Brooks called him "one of the country's most interesting bloggers" (link) and again with what I think is his allusion to St. Therese, the little flower, in the memoir's title. Because I've had a sort of a crush on David Brooks for years (my husband knows that Friday's Newshour when Brooks shares a spot with Mark Shields is a sacred time). And as an adult convert to Catholicism, I seriously considered Therese as my confirmation name because of her devotion to doing ordinary things with extraordinary love.

Dreher recounts his life growing up in St. Francisville Louisiana and the restlessness and discontent that small town life brought him. As many young people do, he rather clumsily made his way out into the wider world, shaking the dust from his feet and hurting (although never intentionally) the ones who loved him most. As a successful journalist, Dreher came to write for The National Review, The Wall Street Journal, and The New York Post, among others; he lived the life he loved in New York, Washington D.C., Dallas. Or so he thought.

It was the illness of his younger sister, Ruthie Lemming that brought him back to St. Francisville. Ruthie adored Rod as little sisters typically do, despite that fact that for all of Dreher's turning inward, she was bent on reaching outward and touching lives, and just as he spurned small town life, Ruthie embraced it. And embrace it she did--because whether she was baking, fishing, star-gazing, or dancing, Ruthie lived life as few people do. She was head over heels for her high school sweetheart, her children were the apple of her eye, and friends were for life. Co-workers adored her and her church family was just that: family. Ruthie gave her heart to the children she taught with passion and there was no problem that couldn't be fixed with love.

All this made reading of her illness (a particularly virulent lung cancer) even more devastating. For this Little Flower suffered much--physically, of course, but even more in the knowledge that her illness and death caused those she loved so much pain. Typical Ruthie, Dreher would say. But Dreher is wise enough to know that no saint, even Ruthie, is without those frailties that worry us all. There was friction with her teenaged daughter Hannah and an unspoken rift between Ruthie and Dreher for years. It's that honesty that made Ruthie's story so compelling.

The story of Ruthie's life and death is especially powerful in the way it gives the reader (this one anyway) pause to examine his or her own life. That was certainly true for her brother, who mindfully returned with his family to the home town he once left. The question I kept coming back to was whether or not my life impacts others as Ruthie's did. Sadly, many of us might not want to know the answer. I also became drawn to Dreher's idea of community, something so lacking in contemporary American culture today. My hope for other readers is that Ruthie's life, and Dreher's can serve as a road map, of sorts, leading us to find that "place where you know, and are known ... [where] we're leaning on each other."

The story is sweet but promotes an Evangelical religious approach to everyday experiences and then continues into a complex story of experiencing death and family recovery through religion. Very simplistic.

This author is probably a gifted columnist but his novel just didn't flow. He gave much more info than I needed (or wanted) ... i.e., complete names of everyone attending Ruthie's grave on her birthday. He also interrupted the story to give a bio of the doctor. The bio did not advance the story in any way.

Dreher is exploring his past, family & friends in an attempt to "find himself". I believe this book will be appreciated by all who knew & loved Ruthie. It's a keepsake of their life together. Others will not appreciate much of the detail.

I DID find some value in being dropped into a totally different culture. It was a unique experience for me, to say the least.

I didn't know what to expect when I picked this book up in the book store. I liked the cover and the synopsis on the fly. And I love memoirs. I was enthralled with the author's honest account of his journey. His teenage angst, conflict with his father, discontent with seemingly everything in his life, and his deep need for confirmation which played out in his career. I thought he did a great job a addressing all those feelings. Perhaps because I was born in a rural area and left -- and sometimes have regrets about that -- the storyline caught my attention. But we all long for "place" in our lives. I joy in knowing that Ron, Julie, and his family have found their place and I admire their commitment to work through the problems. I think the book challenges readers to do the same.

I am sorry for the loss incurred by this family and the community and wanted to love this book, but ended up disliking the author and his approach intensely. It feels as though he exploited his sister's life and death in order to produce another Steel Magnolias-like sensation, and to showcase himself.

I wish I could give the book 4.5 stars, somewhere between "I like it" and "I love it."

Dreher's masterful storytelling and commentary kept me engaged at every moment. I must echo another very well written review, in questioning Dreher's unclear criteria for declaring his sister's "sainthood." Of course, Dreher is trying to get his readers to think outside of any ecclesiastical box, but he still manages to undercut his argument for Ruthie's sainthood in a variety of ways (especially through focusing on her vindictive attitude toward himself).

That all brought up a bigger question for me: how appropriate was it to publish so much about the flaws and failings of persons both living and dead? Without that human realism, this excellent book could not be written. And yet I can't imagine every person who appears in the book would find his or her portrayal acceptable. Let's just say it bothers my conscience to see in print the negative aspects of these good people's character. They are not public figures; is it fair to make them all public figures? I do not know the answers to these questions, but it just doesn't sit write on first read.

This is a wonderful book. The book offers a metaphor for all of us to create our own "secret of a good life". We each have to create our own "good life" based on what we know to be real for us. Most people who have roots and family would agree with the author's idea of being closer to and living closer to family, community and living his belief system as authentically as he can. Readers can begin thinking and applying this to their own lives. So much in this book is applicable to everyone.

I decided to read about Ruthie Leming's remarkable life simply because Eric Metaxas highly recommends doing so. It is a deeply moving story, and although I consider it a worthwhile read, there is one major problem for me - the ongoing thread throughout about the consumption of alcohol. How exceedingly sad it is for me to realize that across our nation, the consumption of alcohol is viewed as a normal activity to indulge in. Considering the myriad lives the industry destroys, in a myriad of ways, this is something I cannot comprehend. How does this line up with living a life surrendered to Jesus? How can one do the will of His Father when imbibing such a hurtful drink? How can one remain sober and alert when filled with such poison? Should an emergency arise and one is thus impaired, how can one rise responsibly to meet the occasion?

Concerning how one's health, in all aspects, is affected by whether or not one stays in one's home area, I have lived, as well as spoken, many of Rod's words on the subject. It brought to mind Dr. Dean Ornish's book LOVE AND SURVIVAL, for Dr. Ornish raises similar concerns. Moving away from one's support system of love, care, and concern is excruciatingly difficult. Naomi Shihab Nye said this on the topic, "Tears for the men and women who leave the places that know them." Digging up one's roots from where they have been nurtured, where one is somebody, and attempting to bury them where one is a zero, is difficult beyond measure to describe. Until one actually lives it, one cannot truly understand. Unless someone is a pastor or celebrity or extrovert, newbies to an area are not trusted because their family history is not known, folks already have their quota of family and friends met, or a variety of other selfish reasons to cause us to not be welcomed, affirmed, accepted and nurtured. This is also sadly true in the Christian community, even though we are all members of the Body of Christ, and are called to "bear one another's burdens." For an older introvert to move to a completely new area is almost unbearable due to what feels like rejection from so-called brothers and sisters in the Lord. This quote, in the book, from Wendell Berry aptly expresses my experience in moving from Crozet, VA, a small town much like St. Francisville, to Raleigh, NC, "When a community loses its memory, its members no longer know one another. How can they know one another if they have forgotten or have never learned one another's stories? If they do not know one another's stories, how can they know whether or not to trust one another? People who do not trust one another do not help one another, and moreover they fear one another. And this is our predicament now." It IS our collective predicament now all across this mobile nation.

I just realized this is further affirmation that my belief in indigenous missionaries is the way to do missionary work!

I reiterate, where are the Ruthie Lemings of Raleigh, NC???

I loved this book because it did something important in my soul. I've spent the last 30 days since finishing the book in wonder at my own home that I've lived at my whole life, I've noticed certain trees that hang over the road in certain ways, it has been a great joy discovering the greatness of my own home. Thanks Rod

I was consumed by the story from the first page. I cried throughout most of the book as I could relate to a family touched by cancer. And I also struggle with the desire to return to my own humble beginnings after straying far from home.

My sweet friend sent The Little Way of Ruthie Leming to me just after I lost my dear mother to cancer. She knew this story would touch my heart and she was right. Rod Dreher's telling of Ruthie's story and his subsequent awakening to the tender love of God, his family and a community will make you laugh, cry and ponder--a good combination!

I live in baton rouge and visit St. Francisville often. I particularly love Star Hill because of its scenic rural beauty, and I ride my bike and go for walks there often. So, I was excited to read this book (especially given the great reviews it received). I have to say I was very disappointed. It felt more like a college essay rather than a professional novel. I'm really puzzled as to why it received so much fanfare. Furthermore, I am left with a sour feeling that the author is lying himself by trying to rationalize why his sister plainly did not like him.

This book is well worth reading and recommending to others. I would give this both to people struggling with faith and issues of identity, community, etc as well as people simply looking for a lovely, though bittersweet, story.

Highly recommend this book. I could not put it down. Heartwarming, real, honest. The way Ruthie gave of herself to others was such a wonderful example of how all mankind needs to be. God bless this family.

Who knew? But moving on. If this had been the month my genie popped from a bottle, I'd have used up a wish that I be able to rewind life, then redirect it just a smidge so that someone had handed this book to me and said, "Just read it. Don't read reviews. Don't read the author's sidebars in other media. Just read it." (Something that I try with an exceptional work in any medium, most recently for example `Searching for Sugarman", that has so much more impact on the viewer with no hint of what is coming.)

And I tread no new ground here in the because of all of that. It's been said, by others better than I. Dreher's narrative sneaks up on a reader then deals such a forceful velvet hammer blow that the very book in one's hands seems to take on added mass from all that's inside.

I might insert a slightly different prism to the view, almost invariably expressed, about the work reaching people's minds, hearts, indeed souls "on so many levels". Given that that phrase's meaning has kind of dissipated with overuse into a catch all for "ree-ull good" (and there is nothing contemporary culture embraces with more fervor than a good catchphrase--how too often does one hear, for example, of why the LSU Tigers' ball field adventures affect its fans "on so many levels"?), it is unworthy here, so that I have described this book to someone as more like a starburst, with each projecting ray representing another manner in which the story might reach, and touch, a reader.

I've nary the bone to pick with the book, save that perhaps the humility wrought by Dreher's experience led to his thrusting all the other players to the forefront of the narrative, possibly leaving those of his audience unfamiliar with his back story having to guess a little at just how profound that epiphany was (and I pray, is still).

But. I may "catch myself coming and going" nest c'est pas, having just undercut my original comment about the book best being served raw. Lest I overcook the commentary further, I will plate it as is.

We all really liked the book and it made for a good discussion time. One of our ladies had been in this area and had taken a lot of pictures. One was of the Methodist Church where they had the burial and the night visitation party. We would definitely recommend this to others of all ages. Probably women more that men,

If you have family, you need to read this book. It's about all the things that make a family, family. It breaks your heart. It makes you smile. It makes you think. You will not regret the time you spend reading this book.

I have recommend this book to dozens of people. It is rich and emotionally profound! It not only shows many ways to grieve life's losses, but also covers so many issues of life, such as healthy relationships and forgiveness. I love this book!!!!!

This book has moved me more than any account of family dymanics and 'real life' than I have read in my 60 year lifetime. Oh my gosh, it has so greatly touched me in issues relating to my own family experiences. Rod Dreher has put my own experiences into words that I can so strongly relate to. Reading this book was emotional for me but what a feeling to know that someone else has had similar struggles with sibbling issues. It is a wonderful book,giving tribute to the positive but explaining the difficult to others. This writer is wonderful at expressing family dynamtics that are often kept quiet, closed and never expressed. I whole heartedly recommend this book especially to open feelings of the ones who have 'gone away' and those who have not. I have moved on but I do understand the emotional feelings of Mr Dreher. Great writer and great expresor of feelings.

This book is a tribute to the way we are to care for others as followers of Christ. It speaks to the importance of values & family. It is a lesson in family dynamics & how we are shaped by them. GREAT READ! Well written!

Very interesting story and affirmation of the creativeness that God puts in each family. Although sharing the same DNA we are each so unique. Sometimes that uniquenessd causes us to withdraw. But Gid had a plan and listening for that direction leads us home!
A story of Gods love and leading!

If you have a book club, PLEASE CHOOSE THIS BOOK. The minute I finished Little Way, I knew I wanted to recommend it to my book club. It is a story that is rich with the complex themes of life, and you don't need to have chosen any of the paths Mr. Dreher did in order to enjoy it. I live in a big city, I have no siblings or any kind of extended family, I'm not religious. I loved the book, and I was bursting at the seams to discuss it with other people. My book club read it and you will be amazed at the different ways it reaches people. There are so many discussions to be had--what does community mean? Can one have community in a big city? What is the nature of forgiveness? One aspect of the book which I have never see covered in any of the reviews is the way one deals with the news of cancer. The way Ruthie dealt with the news and how she related it to her children was, it seemed to me, quite different from what is considered the 'acceptable', current approach. That, in and of itself, is a long and thoughtful exchange of views. Really, this book will set a gold standard for group discussion.

This book shares the details, denial, desperation and death of a young mother. Her author brother uses it to justify why he left (bored, didn't fit in) a small town and why, curiosity satisfied and career secure, he returned. It is the story of many families, the details interesting only to those who are close. Fortunately, most families do not have an author with such a need to explain himself.

SPOILER ALERT!! This review contains spoilers!

OK, well...I will start off with this...Ruthie Leming was a great person. There is a great story about living your life to the fullest, appreciating all you are and all you have. The story of love and community and acceptance rings true for me. Having watched several mothers of young children die of breast cancer in my circle of friends, I have seen the devastation. There is never an easy way, there is never the "right" way, there is never a place to judge anyone going through it. It is true, life goes on for those that are left behind. How painful this can be. The author wasn't my favorite, and I think his "take" on things was just that...his take. I was sadly disturbed by the horrific actuality of the death that played out for Ruthie (the day of) with her bleeding out and choking on her own blood. Not that there was any other way to go with this, as it is the truth, but saddened I am nonetheless. As I stated before, I am certainly not one to judge an experience such as this...but I am the type of person who asks What is the Lesson Here? It doesn't mean anything was "wrong" because everything happens to teach us. That being said, the two unanswered questions in my mind were of possible causes of her cancer and the experience of dying here in the United States. Forgive me for thinking this, but for the Love of God, why did this very young women contract a very deadly version of lung cancer? Was there any genetic testing done? Was there testing done on the environment, or water? I realize this is not the "story" but...I think we should be asking these questions. The toxicity here in the United States is astounding. Lastly, we as a Nation are quite behind in the area of "Death and Dying". I wish Hospice would have been brought in sooner to allow her some time without pain, and allow her daughters to come to grips with the impending death of their mother. I realize Ruthie's wishes were to remain in the dark, but for the sake of her children, I just wish someone would have intervened. I love the three following books on the subject of death and dying and recommend them highly "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" by Sogyal Rinpoche and "When things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron and Being with Dying: Cultivating Compassion and Fearlessness in the Presence of Death. Overall, this was a painful story that too many people are going through in this day and age. Can you imagine the pain of someone going through such pain with no health insurance? With no community? Single Mothers that work 2 or 3 jobs? We must learn our lessons...its time to take care of everyone. Preventative medicine is the best medicine, and death and dying is a natural process of life, and should be taught as such on a daily basis. As far as the author is concerned, I am fairly certain it pained him to leave his highly conservative views out of this book (for the most part) but I am grateful he did.

If you are not interested in reading a lot about the mystery of God's will and one's search for faith, skip this book. I can't think of another book that I skimmed this much. This book is dedicated to the author's sister's children and they will love it. I didn't.

This is not so much a book as a souvenir. Rod Dreher runs a vitriolic column on The American Conservative consisting of spittle-flecked rage at homos, mooslims, and dark people, when he is not flogging this book about every third column. His cult of followers gobble up the book and write paeans to it, along with reach-around reviews from his right wing buddies. It is full of Dreher's usual portrayal of himself as a victim in a world he did not make, along with such other victims of anti-christian racism such as George Zimmerman and Paula Deen.