A Memoir of Marriage and Betrayal - A Beautiful - Terrible Thing

It had potential, but the latter portion of the book read like a book report on psychosis. I'm honestly surprised this was published. She cheated on her boyfriend with some random bartender, then he cheated on her. The book was a quick, easy read... very simple. That's the best word. Simple. So she was cheated on, at least she could disappear and be completely taken care of by her parents and hide away. She seemed very spoiled rotten and not strong at all. I didn't see nor feel any sympathy for her. So many women have had a husband who cheated, and have suffered. Most can't hide away and not take care of their own child. I have never done a review on book on the store. I read two a week and felt compelled to review this book. Don't waste yur money.

What. A. Book.

Jen thought she had the perfect fairy-tale marriage to Marco, but oh, how very wrong she was. When she uncovers evidence of his cheating, she begins a journey of unraveling the truth about her husband, a truth she doesn't want to face. He is a liar, a cheater, a sociopath. And he will never change.

Even though it's a memoir, it reads like a novel, and I simply couldn't put it down - and that's rare for me. I could have written so many of her words as I, too, experienced infidelity from my now ex-husband who I also believe is a sociopath. It was the most horrific thing I've ever been through. Even six months later, I'm still dealing with grief and cognitive dissonance, wondering how I could have been so naive as to believe my husband's multiple lies. Gaslighting was a favorite tactic and, like Jen, I began to question my own sanity.

It's time to change the narrative. Infidelity in a marriage is one of the most horrific experiences a person can go through. Affairs are not romantic or cute or exciting as Hollywood would like to have you believe - they are physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually devastating to the injured spouse.

Cheating is a choice. Far too many people blame the other spouse for not meeding their needs, whether sexual or emotional, and justify their actions in going outside their marriage to find them. But the truth is, if they want out of the marriage, they have several other options besides going behind their spouse's back and betraying them. Adultery devastates families, especially children, and has a ripple effect that cannot be underestimated.

Jen's memoir shines a much-needed spotlight on cheating, one that shows the terrible impact it has on the unsuspecting spouse. I admire Jen a great deal for being so open about her experience, and I pray that it will help others, like me, who have been a victim of infidelity.

Wow! This was such a fascinating book. I couldn't put it down. The story is told in such a clever way that it feels as if you are on this totally perilous and horrifying journey with the author and experiencing the unraveling of it all just as she did. It's a testament to her tremendous fortitude that she could recover from these terrible things and channel her anger into something so great. Go buy this book - you will not be disappointed.

This story was fast and furious from the very beginning. The author has an extremely raw, gritty voice and you can imagine the same thoughts and anxiety rushing through your own mind and body as she accounts for the unraveling of all that she though to be real and true. I found this novel sharp, with soft edges and very personal as a young mother starting my own family. The way the story goes back and forth from then and now, really puts the timeline of her agony in perspective. I thoroughly enjoyed her story, although wouldn't wish it on anyone.... Bravo Jen!

Ms. Waite bravely shares her truthful story of discovering that her soulmate is not what he seems...just as their newborn has come into the world.
I read this book in two days- 35 weeks pregnant working full time with a toddler at home...I couldn't put it down. As someone who was also previously married to someone who may be labeled a sociopath, it was incredible to hear the similarities of the truths uncovered I the aftermath. I applaud and thank the author for her honesty.

This book was so difficult for me to read because it reminded me so much of my own experience. Trigger warning, much :)? Jen is such a clear writer, so perfectly describing the emotions and physical reactions she goes through. It was a painful and wonderful journey to go through with her. She is so brave to tell her story and I wish her and Louisa the very best!

Sadly, like some many others, I have experienced the beautiful, terrible thing. This book is beautifully written. The story flows and unfolds in such a way that the reader can understand how a relationship like this can even occur and yet free someone to grow and learn what real love is.

Heartbreaking and uplifting all at once, Jen's story was extremely captivating. As I read it I truly felt the shock of what happened to her as if it was happening to me. As someone with young babies of my own i can't even imagine the agony she went through, but she came out stronger than ever on the other side. The book left me so proud of her and hopeful for the future for her and her daughter. I definitely recommend this book to anyone looking for a crazy (and true!) story of ultimate betrayal.

Congratulations, Jen! You did it!!

I'm thankful to Jen Waite for sharing her story...it was both beautiful and terrible, so the title is perfect. I was transfixed by her story, and her writing. I hope she writes more books! I love reading books that include women coming together and loving each other. We need more of that! And Jen's parents were amazing. Great and sad and empowering read.

What an amazing read! I could not put myself down, rooting for Jen the whole way. Jen strength is amazing. We might all have different stories, but we have all been down a path we need to bring ourselves back from. Thank you Jen for sharing your courageous story. Reminding us that at the darkest moments there is a light ahead. Best wishes on your journey!

I rarely review books although I read constantly. This book made me so frustrated that I felt I needed to. I don't understand what the big deal is. Yes, her husband cheated on her while she was pregnant and actually in labor and pretty much during their entire relationship but I was expecting much worse than that for him to be called a "sociopath" . Like he was not a secret serial killer or stole people's retirement money but he just was unfeeling? And she seemed very naive and always ran to mommy and daddy for help. She reacted badly by screaming at him constantly and stalking him and his girlfriend through social media (why he didn't change his passwords is a mystery). This would have been a much better magazine article. Don't waste your time.

From a story telling point of view, this reads like a novel in the vein of Gone Girl - the flashing between the past and present. It flows along and is compelling for the most part. Waite is certainly capable of crafting a very readable tale. You can definitely feel her heart break and anguish in each page.

My issue is the recurring theme of the entire situation being her husband's fault - the idea that she was manipulated into the relationship and subsequent nasty divorce with a truly innocent baby in the middle of this mess. No doubt, her husband was a class A cad, philanderer, and sleaze ball who will probably never change. But....Ms. Waite was perfectly willing to ignore the giant red flags from day one.

This guy was moving very, very fast from their first meeting. He was far too complimentary and obsessive about being with her from the beginning. They were both seeing other people when they first became intimate. He had a known history of fathering a child with a woman he didn't marry and treating the son as an afterthought. He was an admitted criminal, having stayed and worked in the U.S. illegally for twelve years. He happily took tens of thousands of dollars from her for a half baked idea and she blithely gave it to him with no legal advice or conditions. These were all giant warning signs to the author long before she got pregnant or even married this guy. Yes, she loved him and he treated her poorly, treated his children terribly, but she definitely has culpability here as well. I just felt like that was never addressed in the book. I'm happy she's moved on, having well to do family that's able and willing to support her for months on end was a huge blessing. As a woman, I just don't see this story as exceptional.

This is a somewhat entertaining, annoying reflection on a relationship involving a philandering South American bartender who needed a green card and money, written by a naive, privileged, pretty American white woman with indulgent parents, who at thirty one has a mother who hugs her naked body in a shower when things have gone wrong.
And who procure a residence and move to NYC for three months to help take care of their newborn baby.

The sociopathy twist seems like an attention-grabbing afterthought when the jilted, unemployed and skeletal post partum Jen with a newborn needs a way to support herself. She seems to force her five year relationship into an expose on sociopathy based on her superficial understanding of sociopathy from late night online searches of the personality disorder and her relationship with her therapist. Sociopathy is conflated with psychopathy and narcissism in careless taps of the keyboard.

In addition to the revenge of exposing her husband's name, the over reach of "sociopathy" is little more than pouty naive privilege getting a dose of reality.

Sorry Jen. If you were my friend I would smack you. But then we could go get a latte and look at Instagram together.

Reading about the unraveling of a marriage in the age of the Internet and social media is unbelievably tedious. She googles this and that, reads Facebook posts and emails, exchanges texts with her husband's mistress, and finally friend ends up exacting some petty Facebook revenge on her behalf on the ex's page. All of this is punctuated by melodramatic IRL fights that leave you feeling embarrassed for the author and occasionally, her mother. I am sorry for what she went through, but don't believe this story should have been elevated to memoir.

I breezed through this book pretty quickly, and not necessarily because it was great. At first I thought the author would have some deep dark skeletons she unearthed from her cheating husband’s closet, to serve as a warning to others or to give hope perhaps, thus the title. But no. We learn he struggles with mental health issues, and now this book is out there for their daughter to eventually pick up and read for herself someday.
While my heart goes out to anyone suffering heartbreak or betrayal, it’s hard to really get fired up about the events in the book. In fact, some of the situations and circumstances detailed in these pages make her seem like a child, not a grown adult woman.
I agree with other commenters that it’d make a much better article for Cosmo or Glamour, rather than a full-fledged memoir. Some of the chapters paint the picture of an overprotected, naive princess who was done wrong, rather than a strong capable woman.
Read at your own risk. Sidenote, mental health stigma is real, and having a book published does not give anyone permission to throw around terms like “psychopath” or “sociopath” looselyunless they happen to have the appropriate education and training, no matter how much their feelings were hurt.

I just finished reading this book. Her husband cheated on her, repeatedly, from the beginning of the relationship. He lied constantly. It was all a lie. So...newsflash, this is not new. Just because your husband cheats on you or uses you or doesn't find you interesting, doesn't make him a psychopath. Of course. you can over analyze every detail of what he said and fit that into nice neat boxes of the definition (and ignore everything else), or you can realize this happens every day to people all over the world and you are not special. You had boyfriends, too boring, so you went for sparks. I'm pretty positive if you went with boring, you would write a book about the 'sparks' you missed and wished you married someone else. The whole book was a pity party...poor Jen. I should have realized from the get go what the book would be, I mean she's an actress wanna-be in New York (aka waitress)..so yes, she must be dramatic all the time. I really disliked the book, had no empathy for her at all....move on Jen, happens to a lot of people. I suppose you could blame your parents for making you think you were a princess who would find her prince.. Time for a reality check.

Jen Waite’s memoir is an old story. Starry-eyed beautiful woman falls madly in love with man of questionable background. Jen is from Maine; she has solid, wonderful parents who are always there for her, without judgment.

She is living in New York, auditioning for parts she usually never gets and is relegated to waitressing to pay her rent and expenses. She meets and falls in love with the handsome bartender, from Argentina. I mean, head-over-heels in love without any boundaries. She never checks into his background, his illegal immigrant status or his past history with American women. No, she goes headfirst into this great love affair. Yet, she is surprised he is a disloyal, gigolo and is breaking her heart piece by piece.

I didn’t find this memoir original. I believe Ms. Waite felt it was different because she was able to steady herself, take care of their daughter and find a job. She is lucky; good parents, smart family, great friends.

I believe, like many women, she didn’t dig deep enough to find about this man. There was an abundance of clues, repetition of bad behavior, no semblance of a moderate lifestyle. The memoir depicts an hysterical woman, packing and unpacking her suitcase, running back to Maine, meeting his Spanish-speaking parents, and doing, absolutely anything for this guy, including giving him her life savings. His behavior didn’t change; he adjusted it to sate himself and fool everyone.

Now she feels she is ready to become a licensed therapist. Maybe so, but she would be hard-pressed to go beyond her specific psychopathic experience without more knowledge of psychology and maybe, even the American immigration system.

Yes, it is a sad commentary on her marriage and dreadful heartbreak, but I don’t see it as an unusual plight of many women – and some men.

Jen Waite’s “A Beautiful, Terrible Thing” is a cautionary tale in which the author describes her personal, painful journey. Marco Medina, an Argentinian living in New York City, sweeps Jen off her feet. Marco is good-looking, charming, and pays Jen lavish compliments. She believes that he is "the one," and she is soon committed to spending her life with this wonderful man.

This book consists of “before” and “after” chapters. In the “before” chapters, a besotted and trusting Jen is thrilled that Marco has chosen her. In the “after” chapters, she suspects, to her horror, that Marco is a liar, cheat, and possibly a sociopath. By then, Jen is thirty-one, the two are married, and they are the parents of a newborn daughter. Subsequently, Jen can no longer eat and sleep normally and experiences emotional meltdowns.

This memoir is raw and agonizing. Jen vents her intense frustration to friends and family and blames herself for her gullibility. Waite is not a professional writer, but she speaks from the heart. Occasionally, her prose is marred by repetition and clichés (“the air pulses," “bile begins to rise in my throat,” and "you used me up and then threw me away like I was nothing"). This quibble aside, “A Beautiful, Terrible Thing” is a powerful story of psychological angst that delivers a much-needed warning. You do not know a person until you live with him, and even then, he may be skilled at concealing his true nature. If your significant other seems too good to be true, it might be wise to take a closer look at his background, character, and track record before you take the plunge.

Since reading Jon Ronson's The Psychopath Test, I've been curious about how the everyday, non-violent, non-criminal sociopaths who make up a disproportionate number of CEOs and politicians function in marriage. What do they look for in a spouse? Does the spouse know they're married to a sociopath? Can their marriage function?

In her memoir of her marriage and separation from a sociopath, Jen Waite performs a kind of magic trick. Waite employs the device of letting the story unfold from two perspectives: one set in the past as her relationship begins and develops, and one set in the present day. As the narrative unfolds, the past catches up to the present and the two perspectives converge.

Initially, something felt a little shallow in Waite's description of her relationship with her husband and her feelings toward him, from both past and present perspectives. While there is a lot of affection and proclamations of love, something was missing: true introspection and intimacy. At first, I chalked this up to a fault in the writing and found myself questioning her memories of their relationship. Is this just a woman who wants to believe her husband is pathological? This is Waite's magic trick: by writing from her past perspective without the benefit of the knowledge she later gains, we are gaslit right along with her.

Then Waite's confirmation and acceptance that Marco is a sociopath comes and - WHAM - the writing style from both perspectives shifts to become more introspective and observant. This allows Waite's narrative to keep building momentum and lets us to experience her betrayal as she did - first from a place of questioning and uncertainty, then from a rawer, realer place of reckoning.

A ridiculous book which I found at the library. Ms. Waite reminds me of a hysterical teenager. This is a woman who keeps running home to mommy and daddy in the middle of the night and in the dead of winter, with her baby in tow, every time she gets upset with what she suspects her husband is doing. This story is sad, I guess, but hardly the most horrible marriage I've ever read about. The author needs to grow up and get a life. I'm a woman who is usually sympathetic to women. But something about this novel didn't ring true. Don't waste your money on this book. It's like reading the pathetic rants you find on Facebook. So not interesting.

The author writes well enough but this is just an old same old, same old story.. she was a struggling wanna-be actress/ waitress, she was a pampered princess and naive.. she met a Latin bartender.. he was attractive and charming and he played her like a piano.. she cheated on her beau, he had a string of failed relationships behind him, and they got married and had a kid..she insists on labeling him a sociopath/psychopath.. I don't think he is either. I thought sociopaths and psychopaths were products of severe abuse/and or neglect. he seemed to come from a loving family. I think he is just an arse with a zipper problem. I agree with another reviewer, she wrote this book for revenge and her own inability to admit she made a horrible mistake..she is lucky that she had wonderfully close, supportive parents and friends to help pick up the pieces.

Jen Waite is a beautiful would-be actress/model/waitress when she meets Marco. She is instantly smitten--he is her soul mate, her other half, the one. Soon after their beautiful baby is born, she discovers evidence that Marco is having an affair. As she digs further, she finds more and more evidence that Marco is a full fledged psychopath, as well as a world class jackass.

I was going to rate this only three stars because for some reason I expected something more extreme. Her husband had an affair? Terrible, but it happens all the time. Her husband was a psychopathic liar and manipulator? Less common, but it still happens an awful lot.

Then it occurred to me that I was missing the point. This memoir is important because other people (men, too) recovering from relationships with psychopaths, or from affairs, will relate to this. Ms. Waite's panic attacks, her denial, disbelief and the utter lack of comprehension ("What just happened here?") will resonate with lots and lots of women. Perhaps in reading this well-written first person account, the universality of her experience will make them feel less alone, and hopefully help them to heal. It can happen to anyone.