If You Find Me: A Novel

The story of sisters, Carey and Janessa is heart breaking and intriguing. Part of me wanted to put the book down and never pick it up again and the other part didn't want to stop reading until I knew the sisters full story (this part won). I found the relationships in the book really strange and many aspects of the book very hard to believe - such as their quick recovery from a traumatic childhood and their cleverness after having no education.

Leaving 1 star review as a Kindle Customer - from reading about the book on GoodReads, it has come to my attention that there is an epilogue in the paperback and audio versions that is not available in the Kindle Edition of this book. Seems incredibly unnecessary to leave this out.

I received this book from the Goodreads First Reads Program in exchange for an honest review.

If You Find Me by Emily Murdoch is a haunting read that will stay with you long after it's done. The novel stars Carey, a teenaged girl who has been living in an abandoned camper in the woods for years with her younger sister, Jenessa, who she has taken care of, while her druggie mother has been in and out of town and eventually, missing, for the past two months. The two girls get discovered by social services and Carey's father, whom she hasn't seen for a decade, and what happens next is a revelation, both for her and her new adoptive family.

I don't want to give away too much about the plot, because it is so wonderful to discover all of the intricacies as you read yourself. The characters are deftly drawn, beautifully written, and poignant. Carey, the protagonist, carries the piece, which is vitally important to the success of this novel. She is very likeable and sympathetic as a character. Her younger sister, Jenessa, is the perfect combination of sweet and loveable, and mystery, since we know there is a reason why she hasn't talked for years. The supportive cast of characters is also wonderful, including Carey's father, Melissa, their new stepmother, Delly, the jealous new stepsister, and Pixie, an odd, whimsical new friend for Carey. The prose is gorgeous, and the description spot on. The plot races along at a perfect pace, and I was gripped from start to finish. As you can tell, I was greatly impressed by this novel.

If I had anything less than positive to say about this novel, it has to do with the boy in this piece-- his part seems a little too easy, too perfect. But that's about all I can say about it-- it obviously didn't change my opinion about the book.

Overall, a compelling, heartbreaking, and beautifully written first novel-- Murdoch is an extremely talented writer, and I will be watching for her future work.

This review is probably going to be an incoherent jumble of feelings that I can't translate eloquently into words so there are some things I want to just throw at you in the beginning to make sure that I get my point across. This book. This book is everything that I want in a book; this book is about love and it is so full of heart that I found myself teary eyed pretty much once in every chapter. This book is full of amazing characters and amazing relationships; it is bleak, it is honest, and it is a novel that will definitely stick with me for a long time to come.

Carey and Janessa are girls who have grown up living in a camper in a national forest most of their lives. There they live with their mother, but not really because she is a meth addict who disappears for weeks (sometimes months) at a time leaving Carey in charge of feeding her younger sister & herself and in charge of bringing Janessa up. The way that these girls lived is terrible. They freeze in the winters and often find themselves eating nothing but beans for days, it was shocking to see all the things that they went through growing up. Not only do they live under harsh conditions but the people that their meth addict mother brought into their life and the things she made them do to feed her meth addiction are disgusting and had me so angry that addictions like this exist. The desperation of users to get their next fix is frightening and it puts everyone around them in danger as they are used as pawns. We get most of this part of the story through memories that Carey has throughout the novel, the real story here is when they are found and taken to live with Carey's father on his farm.

The transition to living in civilization is what really brings these characters to life for me. The bond that Carey and Janessa formed in their years of living in the wild and Carey essentially raising her younger sister is beautiful. Once they are found that bond remains and Nessa really looks to Carey for how to react and deal with everything that is going on. I loved Carey, my heart broke for her situation but she had such a big heart & her undying devotion to her younger sister made everything OK. Even in their dismal situation in the forest their relationship brought light to their life and really got them through it. Nessa was an adorable character and through her mutism we learn that something pretty bad happened that made her lose her voice. What really blew me away here was how Nessa felt like such a developed and well rounded character and for much of the novel the girl didn't even talk. I loved her and I wanted to cuddle her. We see through Carey how she can read everything about her younger sister without words and it's really beautiful. I also really liked Carey's father and his wife Melissa, the effort that they put into helping the girls is so great and you really just felt the love they had for them so much in every page of this novel.

There is no way that this review will ever do this book justice and I don't even want to think about how many times I used the word love in it but everything I think about this book is love. The characters, the relationships, just everything. There are some pretty shocking scenes, ones that are so hard to read but looking back on it love just conquers all and is what I took away from it. Read this book people, and have some tissues at the ready.

Kidnapped by her mother at the age of four, Carey finds herself living in unsafe conditions in the woods. When her sister is born, she is forced into a mother role because her mother is too busy going and finding her next fix to take care of either of the girls. Ten years later, she is finally reunited with her father. Many conflicted emotions run through her as she struggles to adapt to her new life.

Wow! This book was emotionally raw and intense. I just wanted to take both girls under my wing and undo everything that was done to them somehow some way. The characters were so easy to connect to and relate with. The story was just easy to fall into. The only thing that I can criticize about this book is that too many things were skimmed over that should have been drawn out more for a better clarification. Too many characters were thrust into the background that should have had more prominent roles through the story. I also do not agree with the way the book ended. I won't spoil it. I just think that it should have been played out a bit more and gone into more detail. I'll leave it at that.

The narrator did a fantastic job with this book. I have no complaints about the narrator at all. I loved the southern accent that she portrayed through the entire book. I'll be honest, if I found out that she faked the accent, I would be very surprised. She did it so well that it sounded authentic. I mean no offense if it's her real accent of course. I feel like she gave all the characters personality and charm that intensified the story even more for me!

I do fully recommend this book. I feel that it is not a book to be read lightly. It's very heavy and emotional. It will probably upset many people who are sensitive to subjects like this. I wouldn't recommend it for those people. If a person likes a book that they can fully get emotionally involved in from beginning to end, I do recommend this book. I wish the story never had to end.

Holy heartache of all heartaches. This basically sums up my reading experience of "If You Find Me" by Emily Murdoch.

As soon as I've read the blurb, I was hooked. 256 pages, many tears and lots of heartache later, I can say the book definitely didn't disappoint. Far from it. It even surpassed my expectations which weren't on the humble side to begin with.

"If You Find Me" has a remarkable subtlety to it. It doesn't hit you over the head with drama and emotions. Instead it's kinda sneaky about ripping your heart to shreds - piece by piece.
Many times I caught myself gasping for air. The story was full of moments that made me weep silently and barely allowed me to read on. Moments poor Carey had to live through.

Just a teenager, Carey had to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. She had to grow up quickly, raising her sister Janessa and ensuring both their safety while their mother left them alone for weeks at a time to appease her need for drugs, money or whatever else that heartless woman was after.
Until one day she doesn't come back and instead Carey and Janessa are taken to a new home. To them it's like a new world - so far removed from their life in the woods. It was fascinating to witness their reactions to things any of us don't give second thought to but also left me questioning certain things we consider normal.
It definitely is a shock to them both. And though Carey's worries now don't revolve around food, shelter and safety - from both human and animal predators - it's a whole different kind of fight for survival.
The "civilized" world comes with so many rules, expectations and traps it's hard for Carey to navigate through. Especially not knowing who she can trust and who will let her down.
Her strength and her perseverance really touched me. For a girl that young, she lived through things one wouldn't wish on an adult. She had to grow up early and with everything she went through she should be jaded and cynical. But she isn't. She's distrustful and closed-off but she's a fighter. She fights for her new life and faces the struggles head on, slowly but surely finding her confidence, finding her own voice. And with time realizing that she might deserve good things happening to her.
Witnessing her struggles, the doubt, the fears and the guilt that consumed her was heart-breaking. I just wanted to hug her, to somehow take away all the pain and all the bad memories.
And mostly I wanted her to let people in, to forgive herself.

Written solely from Carey's POV allowed me to feel her pain, her despair and her fear. I felt it all acutely and it wasn't comfortable in the least.
She's a special kind of girl. A heroine unlike any other. One who you'll feel for and one who will stay with you for a long time.
So will the whole story. The writing is beautifully descriptive and really put me into the middle of the story, allowing me to fully immerse myself in Carey's world.

This is easily one of my favorite reads of 2016. A story that packs an emotional punch.

6 this-broke-my-heart stars.

Wow, just…wow.

I was hooked from the beginning. It’s a story of survival of resilience and of the deep bond of sisterhood. Emily Murdoch’s writing is down to earth, matter of fact and progressively the little clues pile up to lead us to the truth. I’ve been bluffed all right, sucked into Carey and Jenessa’s world, not wanting to stop reading for anything in the world.

When Carey and Jenessa come face to face with this two strangers barging in their woods and their broken-down camper, I was fearful right alongside them. The two girls have always been on their own, fifteen years old Carey protecting and caring for six years old Jenessa when their mother went on one of her escapades, sometimes leaving the girls to fend for themselves for weeks. Carey would do anything for her little sister.
”It’s easy to get angry at Mama. She often forgot about us completely-like not coming home for weeks on end, or forgetting to hug us or wash our clothes. I didn’t mind picking up the slack, because I’d have done anything for Nessa.”

It felt so real. My throat hurt when I was reading about the wonder in Jenessa’s eyes the first time she ate hamburgers or the first time she saw a television or took a hot shower or… All that we take for granted was unbelievable luxury for these skinny girls.
”You’ll never want for food when you’re with me, okay? That’s my solemn promise. So eat all you want.”

Both girls are back into the world, living with Carey’s father. Jenessa is adapting quickly but Carey keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop. Carey does not know who she is anymore. The girl of the woods or this new girl in the mirror, like a photo negative of the girl in the woods. She never had much luck and can’t believe this will be her happy end. She hides some secret that could threaten her and Jenessa’s future. ”I wonder, in the darkest puzzle piece of my heart, if he’d say those words if he knew, really knew about the white-star night.”

Carey was brave beyond her age, in the woods or at school because being the new girl at school is frightening but being the new girl out of the woods is downright scary.

The story Carey’s been fed all her life is maybe just that, a story. Nothing is black or white in this book as you sometimes do awful things out of necessity, to survive, to protect. It does not make you a bad person, it makes you a survivor. It shows the worst and the best of humanity.

This book took me out of my reading slump indeed! I should always listen to this very good friend who’s given and recommended the book. Emily Murdoch has now become one of my favorite authors as she’s woven a realistic, compelling and dramatic tale or survival and sisterhood.

Mrs. Murdoch has crafted a wonderful piece of fiction, in "If You Find Me". The novel was complex, heartbreaking, redemptive, and real. To all those who said there is no way Carey and Jenessa could have survived living like they did, and manage to adjust so well after, I say "How do you know?" People do all sorts of things they never knew they were capable of, when they are confronted with the reality of just surviving. Especially when the survivors in question are a teenage girl and her six-year-old sister. The things those girls went through, are so dark and heartbreaking. I completely understand Carey's reservation at first, when she is back in civilization. She has basically never known anything good, and it is so hard for her to believe it is actually real. I truly hope no one ever has to live with or experience the horrible things Carey and Jenessa did, but unfortunately, that is not the case. This book serves as a good reminder to be kind to everyone you meet--you truly never know what anyone else is going through, or has lived through. And we all have it within us to be survivors. I cannot recommend this book strongly enough. Well-done, Mrs. Murdoch. Well-done, indeed.

After 10 years of living in a camper without water or electricity in the middle of the woods with her meth addict mother and six-year-old sister Janessa, fifteen-year-old Carey knows how to hunt for food, how to teach herself and Janessa their schooling, how to play the violin, and how to survive. Carey has always taken care of Janessa, but now that Mama hasn’t come home in two months she’s worried because they are running low on food.

When a strange man claiming to be her father and a social worker show up, the girls are taken back to civilization. Janessa has never lived outside of the woods, but takes happily to her new life. Despite the love Carey feels from him and his wife for Janessa, she finds it hard to believe they love her. She had to do bad things to survive, and one of those big secrets has kept Janessa from speaking for over a year.

High school is awful; with her stepsister Delaney making sure it gets worse every day. Everything having to do with civilization is new to Carey and she is overwhelmed, wanting to run away to the woods. Her new friend Ryan was trying to be helpful when he showed her a flier saying Mama kidnapped her when she was five years old, but Mama had always said her father beat them so she had to run away.

Carey doesn’t know what to believe and, because of her big secret, is unsure of her place in this new world. She is certain everyone will hate her when they find out what happened that night. As Carey remembers what she had chosen to forget, she realizes she will have to tell the secret that bound her and Janessa together and kept Janessa from speaking. Their future depends on letting go of the past.

Emily Murdoch does a wonderful job drawing readers into the mind and heart of a young girl forced to grow up in the harshest of circumstances. Her use of flashbacks as Carey remembered Mama and their years in the woods had me on the edge of my seat as I walked through Carey’s pain with her. The rawness of those years comes out in Carey’s violin playing, and will necessitate that readers have a box of tissues at the ready as they read. I finished the book in one sitting, and know it will mesmerize others as it did me.

Highly recommended for readers aged 14 and older.

Listed on the ALA (American Library Association’s) Best Fiction for Young Adults list (compiled by the Young Adult Library Services Association (YALSA).

I’d heard about “If You Find Me” well before it was published, and for some reason I never thought to add it to my TBR pile. A couple choice sound bites–an acquaintance review of the ARC, a letter from the author posted to a blog post I read, and a New York Times review (I think)–talked me into giving the story a shot. And how freaking glad am I that I did?

“If You Find Me” was not one of those books that I expected to fall in love with, or blow through in a day(ish) because the protagonist’s voice was so unique. And yet, Emily Murdoch’s review made me do both.

I thought the premise of the novel was pretty niche. While there are an increasing number of YA contemporaries being written about kidnappings, very few of the ones I’ve read have addressed the aftermaths. None have dealt with the added burden that parental kidnapping causes.

Carey and her younger sister Nessa have lived in a camper in a section of Tennessee wilderness for most of Carey’s life. Their meth-addicted mother comes and goes, and when the story opens she has been gone for an unprecedented amount of time. After a letter reaches Carey’s father regarding their location, the girls end up trying to go back to modern life–a difficulty because of Nessa’s silence and Carey’s secrets.

One of the things I usually make no secret about is the fact that I hate novels written in dialect. Most of them make me squirm at worst, or force me to fill in unaccented speech at best. It’s a testament to Murdoch’s writing ability that Carey’s voice rings authentic, that I never felt as though I had to correct her speech patterns or cringed at some of her turns of phrase.

The family dynamics were especially strong, between Carey and her sister, and the two girls and their new family. Carey’s efforts toward overcoming her mistrust of her father and stepsister while growing to understand and love them rang so true. And as an animal lover, I practically melted anytime Nessa’s attachment to the family dog appeared on the page.

Though I had a pretty good guess regarding Carey’s secret and why Nessa doesn’t speak, Murdoch actually managed to prove me at least partially wrong. In some cases the events that drive Carey’s reactions to strangers would’ve felt overdone or melodramatic, but here I thought they worked perfectly.

Having enjoyed this novel so much, I’ll be waiting somewhat patiently for Emily Murdoch’s next book.

A heartbreaking story of a stolen childhood and betrayals by the one person who is suppose to protect you. This book really knows how to get to you. With every new thing you learn it gets more and more painful. This story will affect you in ways few others can. Beware some of the things in this book are so horrific, with subject matters that are hard to read. that you do need to take a minute and put the book down brfore you can continue. This book had me tearing up from the first page. I loved the bond between the sisters. As someone who started raising my own 6 year old and 2 year old sisters when I was 17 I can relate to how that feels. I would definitely recommend this book. I loved it and read it in 1 night

Imagine if your bipolar mother kidnapped you when you were five and kept you in captivity in the woods until you were fifteen. Imagine if your mother allowed strange men to sexually abuse you for the cost of a hit of meth. Imagine having to take care of your baby sister for weeks on end while your mother disappeared on one of her binders. Imagine if your biological father, the man your mother claimed beat you as a child, found you in the woods and took you to live with his new wife and stepdaughter. Imagine reentering society as a fifteen-year-old girl—attending high school for the first time and experiencing your first party—when Christmas tree lights and bubble baths and juicy cheeseburgers were only dim memories for you.
The author does a brilliant job of portraying the sisters’ reentry into society. Adjusting to her new world is difficult, but just as she has always done in the past, Carey puts her own needs aside for the sake of her baby sister’s happiness. Through determination and resourcefulness, Carey survived a decade in captivity, but is her fortitude strong enough to help her through the first day of high school?
I recommend this page-turner to adults and young adults alike. While many, the sexual references are clean, appropriate for the 16+ age group. If I had to find one thing to criticize about this novel, I would say I was disappointed that it ended too soon. I look forward to more from Emily Murdoch. She is an up-and-coming author to watch. Murdoch gives us much to think about, reminding us not to take our blessings for granted.
For more of my reviews, please visit my website at [...]

At the age of five, Carey Benskin was kidnapped by her mother and taken deep into the woods to live in a broken-down camper. Bipolar, meth-addicted, selfish, abusive--Carey's mother will do anything for a fix, including sell herself. After one such time, Carey's mother becomes pregnant. Carey ends up a stand-in mother for her new baby sister. She takes care of not only herself, but baby Janessa as well.

When she isn't bringing strange men to the camper or abusing Carey & Janessa during one of her bipolar spells, their mother leaves them alone for long periods of time. During a particularly long absence, Carey and Janessa are close to running out of food. They are already barely more than skin and bones, but the situation is becoming dire.

This is when Carey and Janessa's world is turned upside down. Their father, along with a social worker, finds them and rescues them. After years of being conditioned to fear her father, Carey is anything but happy about this development, but she agrees to live with him only so she and Janessa will not be separated.

This is the story of their reintegration into a normal life and a normal family.

- - -

Well, this book seems to be quite loved. I am slightly confused. I don't understand why I am not seeing what everyone else appears to see. ** MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!!!! **

What irked me most were the flashbacks to Carey's life in the woods. First of all, they came on so abruptly and weren't separated from the present storyline in any way--this left me disoriented and having to re-read paragraphs to get the full effect of what was happening. Second - they were too frequent. I'd say more than half the book is Carey thinking about her past and how her mother abused she and her sister, how the strange men touched her, how starving they were, how cold they were, how they had to eat squirrels and rabbits, how Carey did this elusive, "bad" thing in the woods; something no one would forgive her for. It was repetitious and didn't leave much room to see Carey and Janessa grow into and adapt to their new life. The parts of the book that were in present tense were all about Carey being in denial of her new life, fighting with her new step-sister, and OF COURSE making a love interest at school. It just seemed to me that there was a lack of depth. The premise was fantastic and promising, but for me, didn't come to life quite as I was hoping for.

Then we have the issue of education. Oh my lord. These girls were abused and neglected in every sense of the word, and yet both of them--when tested for placement in school--are smarter than their peers and tested TWO GRADES higher than their ages would place them. So, the result was putting each girl one grade ahead of where they should be. I am sorry, but this is completely unbelievable to me. ARE YOU SERIOUS? You just can't be. It is too unrealistic that the mother of these girls would leave them without food, without clothing, ALONE in the woods for months on end, and yet she made sure to leave them with oodles of educational material--so much so that they ended up being two years ahead of their respective educational levels. I feel that this was done solely so Carey would end up in the same grade as her new step-sister and of course end up getting attention from the guy she likes, thus creating more drama.

Speaking of said guy, this brings me to my final problem with the story. This guy was so boring I can't even remember his name off the top of my head. Ugh, anyway, the relationship between he and Carey was forced. There HAD to be a love interest in this book? That alone bothered me. Then came the big revelation that this guy was best buds with Carey when she was five. They were neighbors and both had meth-addicted mothers. I guess they formed some weird childhood bond because of that. I found this to be just too convenient. When I learned of this little tidbit, I automatically thought of Hopeless by Colleen Hoover. At this point, I couldn't help but compare the two stories.

Phew, okay! Complaints aside, I didn't hate this book. I did like it, I promise.

The pace was perfection, for one thing. I was glued to the pages. Murdoch kept the suspense up well, and revealed all of the secrets at just the right times.

The characters were extremely lovable. They were multidimensional and felt very real. Carey was impressive in the way that she was so grown up for such a young age (fourteen). She took on the role of mother to Janessa and she did it very well. I loved her protectiveness and love toward her sister. It was beautiful and heartbreaking. I truly admired Carey as a character; likewise with Janessa--such a young girl, yet so grown up. Janessa is mute by choice. The events of the woods left her voiceless and I think when she finally did speak, it was the perfect moment. I liked this added element, as well as the reason behind it.

Then there's Carey's father, step-mother (Melissa), and step-sister (Delaney). Her father is understanding and gentle with them, especially after he learns of the fact that his ex-wife filled Carey's head with terrible lies about him. Janessa isn't even his daughter, yet he takes her as his own without even a moment of hesitation. Melissa is the perfect mother. This woman is practically a saint. She takes things slowly with the girls, she provides them with food, clothes, and LOVE. She is endlessly understanding and patient. Delaney was a hateful little thing at first.. but even she was a character I grew to love once her true colors were able to shine through. As a whole, the family dynamic was very believable and realistic. I think it was perfectly written and painted a beautiful picture.

All in all, this was an okay read. There were some very realistic bits, and some just the opposite. I found the info-dumping to be distracting and excessive. I think some pieces of the story were too forced (such as the love interest and the educational levels of the girls). I did, however, enjoy the characters. I enjoyed the emotion radiating from the pages; the love and family togetherness. This book touches on some hard topics, but the author handled them quite well. The writing is very good and I think this is a book many readers would enjoy. :)

As a coming-of-age story, the intended audience would seem to be adolescent girls, but the plot features a meth-addict mother who neglects, abuses, and prostitutes her daughters; description of molestation by "customers" of the mother; and a brutal rape of both girls. For children that have been through anything like this, the story is likely to trigger traumatic memories. For others, it's exposure that they really don't need.

If You Find Me completely surpassed my expectations. I'd heard so many good things about this book that I was a little skeptical when I started reading. How could it really be as good as everyone said? Well, I shouldn't have worried as Emily Murdoch's debut novel was amazing.

Carey and Jenessa were taken by their mother to live in a run down RV in the middle of the Tennesse woods. They grew up thinking they were all alone and Carey soon became more mother than sister to Jenessa as their mother would go away for longer and longer stretches. One day a man and a social worker come to take them away from the only home they've ever known. This is a story that focuses on transition, the difficulty of facing new situations, and the absolute drive to survive.

Jenessa was a total sweetheart and I loved her character, but Carey stole the show. She was so strong and wise beyond her years; I loved the relationship she had with her sister. Carey was a bit of a "special snowflake" but it didn't bother me in this book. The power of the writing and strength of story kept the most important aspects front and center.

This was a heartbreaking and emotional read, but one that I highly recommend. The character voices ring crystal clear and the dramatic situations are tense and believable. Grab a box of tissues with this one!

Review and playlist are also published in Young Adult Hollywood.

I read If You Find Me in one sitting beside my sister. I was fighting back tears throughout the whole thing and once in a while I would catch myself casually wiping the mist in my eyes. Truth be told, I ached for this book over and over again.

I instantly connected with If You Find Me’s prose and characters. It follows the story of two sisters who lived in the deepest part of the woods for almost ten years with their mom. Sometimes their mother would be away for a month or two scavenging for money and supply of food until one day their mother disappeared and all of a sudden they are being transferred to their father’s care.

This book has so much heart and intricate layers of depth. It touched me in a deep manner. I had to catch my breath a handful of times. It is poignant, authentic and consuming. It also has a distinct sense of nostalgia. Murdoch’s poetic writing will simply draw you in.

If You Find Me focuses on two sister’s fierce love to each other, who are making a life and family for themselves in the real world. It explores abuse, and the aftermath of going through that kind of pain and coping. A very highly recommendable read.

Carey and her little sister Jenessa wait patiently for their mother to come back. Days, weeks go by. And so they wait, in their little wooden shack deep in the woods, until a man comes. A man who knows their name, and takes them back to civilization. Their father.

Now Carey and Jenessa have to cope with being found, with a new family, a new life. And come to terms with what happened in the woods for all those years.

This book was remarkable in many ways. Carey is so strong, likeable and vulnerable. She is a complicated young girl who has gone through so much, you can't help be rooting for her and her self sacrifice. Her voice is clear and solid, which makes her story even more heartbreaking and haunting. She loves her sister more than anything in the world and as the tale unfolds about her and Janessa's past, it kept me on the edge of my seat.

The writing is so emotional. Both settings, the woods and their new home, come to life through Murdoch's writing, giving the reader a clear picture of these two very different places. Carey's bravery shines and Jenessa's inner strength is revealed in subtle and lovely ways. Murdoch doesn't need to spell everything out, but her perfect word choice in those uncomfortable moments are enough to make anyone's imagination run wild.

Overall, heartbreaking and sad, but filled with hope and tomorrows.

Find more of my reviews on my blog The Windy Pages dot com

This book was so unrealistic and cliché that I actually laughed in places. Without giving anything away, the portrayal of certain psychological disorders is laughably simplified and easily treated. Also, the reaction of the characters, especially the girl's friends to her disappearance, reappearance and all that she went through is so unbelievable. "Oh, you were kidnapped and tortured, cool! So glad you are back. Let's go shopping!" This is a very predictable book as well. I did finish it and it held my attention but just barely so I am giving it 2 stars instead of 1.

The story was almost immediately gripping and the characters quickly became so real, I felt I was listening to a friend tell their story. When the book ends and you feel you have lost dear friends because the characters were so real...THAT is talented writing and an entertaining read! I appreciate that the story was told without being overly graphic, but relaying enough information to tell the story's most dramatic parts. I could easily say much about this book, but what impressed me over and over again was how authentic and real the voice of the main character was. The words of her speech and thought were exactly how I would imagine a young girl speaking and thinking if she had been hidden away from civilization from the time she was very young until she was a teenager! I am no writer, but I recognize that adopting a totally different pattern of speech and thought for a character like this would be very difficult, but it was key to making this character so REAL and alive to the reader! I applaud the author and truly look forward to her next book. Ms. Murdoch, please don't keep us waiting too long!

I really liked how this story unfolds from end to beginning as it offers a unique perspective on the book's characters and the circumstances that brought them together. A typical teenage girl and a younger sister who shared a childhood that was not typical at all. Now thrust into a new home with their long-lost father and a new stepmother and stepsister, surely there will be conflict that goes hand in hand with some major adjustments. There is tragedy but there is also hope and above all love that rises above it all.

I loved this book. I had immediate concern for the two main characters: a teen girl and her much younger sister growing up in the woods, taking care of one another for the long stretches where their meth-addicted mother was absent. The bulk of the story follows the difficulty of the girls integrating into real life after their father finds them. More intriguing than this process is the secret that the girls harbor - about something terrible that happened in the woods a year earlier that scarred them both.

Anyway, I love a story that makes me feel deeply for the characters. This one did just that.

A heartbreaking story of a stolen childhood and betrayals by the one person who is suppose to protect you. This book really knows how to get to you. With every new thing you learn it gets more and more painful. This story will affect you in ways few others can. Beware some of the things in this book are so horrific, with subject matters that are hard to read. that you do need to take a minute and put the book down brfore you can continue. This book had me tearing up from the first page. I loved the bond between the sisters. As someone who started raising my own 6 year old and 2 year old sisters when I was 17 I can relate to how that feels. I would definitely recommend this book. I loved it and read it in 1 night

A beautifully written novel that makes you cry, smile, and after you've finished it, come back for more!
Emily Murdoch writing-style and idea makes the book a great summer read, and personally I'm overjoyed that I took the time to read as well as buy it.
The characters seem realistic and their developments are amazing to read about.
I'm a reader that almost never read anything else but science fiction books or fantasy, but I don't think I've read anything this good since 'The fault in our stars'.
This is a kind of book anyone who likes to read will devour! ❤️

Ten years after her abduction by her mentally-ill, drug-abusing mother, Carey and her little sister are found by her father. She is propelled from a life of wilderness survival to one of physical comfort with her father, his understanding new wife, and a jealous stepsister. She fears separation from her sister, Jenessa, who she raised. She hides information about their life in the woods and the cause for her sister's refusal to speak.

The portrait of a teen trying to live in a previously unknown world of family, friends, and high school is well-drawn. The tension between Carey and her new stepsister is believable, but her beyond-her-years brilliance (she tests advanced for her years) strains credulity. However, I found Carey and Janessa's transformation deeply moving, and it was easy to care for them.

Some of the story was disturbing (there are depictions of sexual abuse and drug use), but I recommend it for adults and teens who enjoy a face-paced emotional story.

Carey and her sister Nessie are left to survive for years in the woods by their drug addled mother before being discovered and returned to her father. She's been awol on the world since she was age 5, and now at age 15 she has a lot of catching up to do to assimilate into a new life with her father and high school. This is a great read, well written and almost lyrical in its exploration of loss and then love and redemption. It's one of those rare books that 100 words in you're hooked and can't put it down. And then there's the ending. I thought it was pretty A+. Basically we have a girl that has been through absolute hell but who has triumphed over it magnificently. It's nice to see a heroine like Carey. She' about as strong as I can remember, and her pain and triumph are wrenching and real. In the end, a standing ovation for Carey.

Don't you sometimes wish you could kick yourself for not doing something sooner? I had a copy of an advance reader's copy of If You Find Me for a year before picking it up to read. Once I started, I was absorbed!

Carey and Jenessa live an isolated life in Obed Wild and Scenic River National Park in Wartburg, Tennessee. Carey raises her sister from infancy because of their mother's addictions. After they are rescued, they discover life in civilization, life with new coats, full meals, and kind people. Carey copes with the teenage social life. Jenessa has selective mutism; Carey is so afraid she will be kicked out after others discover the reason for the mutism.

If You Find Me is Murdoch's debut novel. It has been nominated for the 2014 Carnegie Medal. I have my fingers crossed that the book will win.

Here, Emily Murdoch captures the voice of a teenage girl who has lived a very different life than most of us could imagine. She puts us easily in the place of her narrator, Carey. The backstory of the girl is compelling and keeps the pages turning while she struggles to come to terms with who she is and how her past life and new life can coincide. She struggles with a mysterious sin in her past that we spend the whole novel wondering about. This is one of those novels that you'll find yourself thinking about when you're not reading, so you'll read it that much quicker only to find disappointment when there's no more pages. I look forward to the next book from Emily Murdoch.

Based on the description, cover, and title, I expected a suspenseful novel. It wasn’t. After the first couple of pages, I realized that I was reading a story of abuse and neglect. The abuse is described in detail, so although this is a book written for teenagers, I wouldn’t recommend it for young teens. The storyline was somewhat interesting, particularly the parts detailing Carey and Nessa’s adjustment to a new life. But the writing wasn’t great. There were a lot of cliché’s and way too much use by the main character of the word “reckon.” I realize that the author was trying to communicate Carey’s unsophisticated upbringing, but having the character say “reckon” over and over again was jarring. Ultimately, the book was just ok. I could take it or leave it.

In accordance with FTC guidelines, please note that I received a free copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.