The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer (6-Oct-2003) Paperback

The best thing about The Invitation is the first chapter: The invitation itself. Nice poetry. However, if you are a serious spiritual seeker, you are aware of the plight civilation has created for us. This societal design is seriously flawed, and the true spiritual seeker will realize the answer lies in a return to respect and co-existence for all living things which requires a self-less attitude - a departure from the <I deserve a break today> mentality and a return to community. But the message in The Invitation would have you believe that finding and maintaining a good relationship with a mate is the answer to all life's problems. If you are just starting on your spiritual journey, The subject matter explored in The Invitation is a pacifier that will need to be discarded as you mature. The meditations at the end of each chapter is the most juvenile advice of all. The emphasis on maintaining romantic relationships in this book reveals that the author is still wading through puddles instead of pulling up anchor and heading into spiritual oceans. Oriah Mountain Dreamer has a long way to swim before she reaches vital spiritual waters. Take your money and buy a pizza - it might be as enlightening and be a lot easier to digest.

I first heard the opening words to this book when my favorite professor in seminary read them to us. I was hooked immediately. Oriah writes gently and beautifully with powerful insights that are simple but moving. I read excerpts at team meetings with great feedback.
After being at a party where the conversation seemed superficial and empty, she went home and wrote a piece that began, “It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing…” From there, the book was born.

This is an amazing book which may change your life. Have you ever wished you could learn how to live your life to the fullest, how to suck all the marrow out of life? This book might help you get there. I read it while in alcohol and drug rehab, enjoying my first experiences with acupuncture, yoga and meditation. I found this book very motivating, so much so that I left a copy in the recovery house I stayed in and am buying another one. You'll want to read this book over again. I plan to use the meditations at the end of each chapter in the future.

This fast reading book is not about "feeling good" -- it's about feeling. To read it with the expectation it will entertain and/or deaden your senses is doing yourself and the author a great disservice.

This book is about fully accepting the call of being human. You can place whatever label you wish on this experience: religious, spiritual, meaningless; regardless of your core values, you can either accept all that is the experience of human being, or you can fail to avoid the parts that scare you. Open your heart while reading this book and you will be moved to tears, lifted to laughter, and encouraged to accept more of life.

Oriah fearlessly shares with us experiences in her life which profoundly impacted her. Through these experiences, she helps us to see the importance of accepting all of it and more importantly, embracing all of it -- even the most painful and debilitating moments.

If there were no darkness, how would you know the light? Likewise, how can you expect to truly know joy if you cannot allow yourself to truly feel sorrow? The more you practice accepting and feeling all of your experiences, the richer they will all become.

And perhaps that is the message of hope here. We all feel these same experiences, and we all move through them together.

Experience all that is Life:
The Longing,
The Fear,
The Sorrow,
The Joy,
The Betrayal,
The Beauty,
The Failure,
The Commitment, and
The Fire.

Oriah Mountain Dreamer is my favorite author. Her words are music for the soul. The Invitation changed my life forever. I was lost in a world of saddness. Reading this book brought hope and inspiration to my world. It awakened in me a richness I had never experienced before. For the first time in my life I wanted more and knew I deserved more. I could not put the book down. I cried and laughed her words touched and awakened my soul at a level I did not know existed before.

She teaches about real life and offers the words and encouragement to reach for the stars. I tell all young people I work with to read this book! It is a true guide to finding what is most important in this world.
Susan Mavity Author of "The Light Within, Gift Of A Rose

What an extraordinary book this was. I stumbled across the poem, The Invitation, while surfing the web and it resonated in me immediately. I knew nothing of its author or her story, but when I saw that there was a book that revolved around such a beautiful piece as her poem, I ordered it immediately and with no expectations. I was not disappointed in the least. I only got through Chapter 1 when a friend of mine picked it up off my nightstand and knew immediately that this book was special. When I saw how moved he was by the few paragraphs he read, I gave it to him as a gift and then ordered another for myself.

The Invitation is one of those rare finds that you do not want to finish reading. When I knew I was getting closer to the end, I would try to savor it by allowing myself just a few pages a night so as not to hurry through it ... like a decadent dessert.

I have since ordered and received her second book, The Dance. Although I've only read a few pages, I know this one will be just as beautiful as her first.

I have recommended this book to anyone I speak to about it and have made copies of the poem to give to friends, family & co-workers because of its message of love.

Ms. Oriah Mountain Dreamer has created a pathway beyond the comforable and the mundane into that which challenges and repels you. By addressing the edges of your personality and sensitivities, you can build on and extend your awareness and your reality in honest ways that better fit your inner self. The book is propelled from the author's emotionally intense vision of her life as expressed in this question: "Did I love well?"
Although her personal examples are simply there to help your own journey, their poignancy touched me deeply. If you are like me, you will admire the honesty and openness of her sharing. Ms. Dreamer has had two failed marriage and many failed relationships. She has had friends who experienced horrible personal setbacks. You will be seared by the pain, the truth, and the beauty in these experiences. And you will be the better for the vicarious experience.
Above all, this book is a call to have courage, courage to go beyond the comfortable into the important. Because of the examples chosen and her personal perspective, this book will probably speak more eloquently to many women than to many men.
The book is broken down into the statement of her invitation to follow her spiritual path by dealing with longing, fear, sorrow, joy, betrayal, beauty, failure, commitment, and fire to develop the deep sustenance to allows you to go to your true inner home. Each section contains personal experiences of her point, and ends with valuable meditation exercises to help you find your own "truth" in these areas.
Although the book sounds like another New Age tract, it is actually anti-New Age in many ways . . . especially in favoring emotional and physical reality over spiritual vagueness.
Here is a little of what she has to say on these subjects:
Accepting the Invitation: " . . . [Y]ou will experience, not just read about, the ache, the sorrow, the joy, the courage, the peace . . . ."
The Longing: "This is what I ask for: intimacy with myself, others, and the world . . . ."
The Fear: "We are afraid we will not be enough." " . . . [D]esire . . . brings the ecstasy of falling more deeply in love with my own life every day . . . ."
The Sorrow: "If we are strong enough to be weak enough, we are given a wound that never heals." "[That wound] is the gift that keeps the heart open."
The Joy: "The enemy of joy is the litany of 'not good enough' . . . ."
The Betrayal: "Sometimes, to choose life, we must break agreements; sometimes we must keep them although they are hard to keep."
The Beauty: " . . . [G]ratitude expands my ability to receive beauty." "It is what pulls us towards life."
The Failure: " . . . [O]ften an attempt to avoid the paralysis of shame."
The Commitment: " . . . [F]eed the children when [they] thought they could not."
The Fire: "[D]ifficult to keep our hearts open, to feel the fear and pain."
Finding Our Way Home: "Are you willing to meet yourself and not turn away from what you are?"
As you can see, Ms. Dreamer sets a high standard, but one that you will probably be proud to match.
I particularly recommend the meditations in the book. My own meditation routine repeats the same process. I found it rewarding to use different methods. Many new thoughts occurred to me as a result. It was a deeply moving experience in each case.
After you have finished your spiritual journey with this book as a guide, I suggest that you write out your own examples to match these topics from your own experience. This will make the material more accessible, especially if loving well is not your core reason for being.
Be yourself, in more ways and more fully!

I first ran across the poem, "The Invitaion" on the Internet, then after I couldn't sleep for thinking of it, tracked down the book. I was even more blown away after reading it. So much so that I read it, went back and highlighted portions that had a great impact on me, then, read it a third time, going back again and again to write excerpts in my journal for everyday reflection. This book gave me the courage to get up and keep at it, after a very painful time in my life. Her message is so simple, yet so hard to do, but, has such incredible rewards.... Open yourself up to life, to all of it, the good and the ugly, no matter how vulnerable you may feel, because you can't truly appreciate the sweetness of life and all that it has to offer, unless you dare to have the courage to lay yourself, your deepest part of your soul bare, then began again from there. Until you allow yourself to do that, as she says, everything is just superficial. She teaches you how to LIVE life, good/bad/ whatever, all the way down to the marrow of your bones. A true gift to the human spirit.

The Poem the Invitation is interesting and moving. However, the author's attempt to fill out the thinking and emotions behind it falls short. This is not really billed as a "new age" book but in all actuality it is. Dreamer repeats herself and the same ideas over and over again. I think that anybody reading this book will want to know how a person like this can survive in the world. I am convinced that this means something to the author. Unfortunately if you are drawn to the book through the peom i would suggest reading the first two chapters in the bookstore before you buy it. By this point you will know whether you can handle this type of writing. Mainstream people looking for good, solid, and workable solutions will be disappointed.

I actually read it when it was first published in 2006 and it's still on my bookshelf. I refer to her loving and inspiring words of hopefulness whenever the craziness of the world threatens to invade. Thank you Oriah!

A special lady capable of using beautiful poetic language while still keeping an eye for the mundane. As in the book itself the ordinary life and the efforts to become more spiritual are entwined. This seduces the reader to find the spiritual in the mundane and vice versa. I have read this book in one breath and enjoyed it very much. Even though I expected it to be a 'typical womens book' it is not. Maybe even more attractive to men due to the mixture of the temporal and the spiritual. Fully in life and all about that which is beyond the obvious. A good read that leaves its message lingering in the mind... as an invitation.

All of Oriah Mountain Dreamer's books invite us to really be with reality, to see it for what it is, to dive in, be present and explore who we deeply are. They speak to a grounded spirtuality that is about living in the world rather than escaping from it. Her words are beautiful and direct. These are always the books I recommend first to anyone trying to live more fully who they authentically are.

My fiance' and I discussed having The Invitation prose read at our wedding ceremony. It touched us both at our very core, but we hesitated to do this for fear the challenging message would not be received the way we intended in a large crowd of people who had not had the privilege of reading the book. We were wrong. It was beautifully read when we wed and the comments have been wonderful. We provided each guest a copy in a small scroll commemorating the event, the reader and the book. We have had several people give us their own interpretations and will certainly be buying a copy of this book for themselves. It made our very special occasion truly rewarding because we shared Oriah Mountain Dreamer's meaningful words and they were warmly received by a vast array of friends.

This is not another "new age" guidebook, but a declaration of intent. The Invitation is one of the most powerful statements of life that I have ever read and truly is the best part of this book altogether. Through her own experiences, the author shares these moments as she touches on each statement of the invitation. Some you will embrace, others you will disagree with, but through the exercise you will bring your own experiences to the words she has so eloquently written.

The poem changed my life! Its energy first came to me 2-1/2 years ago and I was mesmerized by its content and exasperated by its challenges.
After first discovering the poem, I must have read it 30 times, over and over and over again. But each time I read it, I could feel myself becoming angrier and angrier because I could not answer "yes" to a single challenge.
But I was hooked and the power of the poem began to work on me. From then on, when I encountered fear and pain along my path, and felt myself trying to "hide it, fade it or fix it", my mind and spirit drew upon its wisdom...and I grew. I gave myself permission to "risk looking like a fool for love...for the adventure of being alive". I now "look for beauty every day and try to source...life from its presence". I let myself "dance with wildness and let the ecstacy fill me" to the tips of my fingers and toes. But most of all, when my life experiences those momentary pauses, those deep breathes and sighs between social heartbeats, when I am alone with myself, I "truly like the company" I keep in those empty moments.
Each chapter is based upon Oriah's own experiences, but I could feel "me" as the book's subject and magically relate my experiences to the wisdom and challenges of the poem. The poem and book so deftly drew me into the process and importance of life.
It is a New Age Zen. It is simple, it is profound...it is undiluted wisdom.

For anyone who wants to live life more abundantly, lovingly, honestly and more fully this is an excellent book. It speaks to the very essence that we are all filled with and touches your soul. It moves beyond the outer world of appearances and has us look to within for what connects us, holds us together and speaks to us. She has an excellent way of making spirituality an everyday choice and is well aware of the trials that come of living a life of love in a world so often filled with fear.
I highly reccomend this book to anyone regardless of age, gender or anything else that we so often divide ourselves with. It is an amazing book filled with insight and just by reading the poem that she draws her book from it will change your way of looking at the world.

Oriah Mountain Dreamer presents a view defiant of what society would like you to believe is dominant today. Though not in 100% agreement with what she writes, she does present a view-point that is not only a challenge to read and comprehend, but one that reaches one's inner beliefs of today's lifestyles. I found myself re-reading several paragraphs, if not whole chapters, to truly understand what she was saying. This book presented a relief in other books that are out there today. It is different and makes one delve deep inside their own beliefs to not only understand what she is saying - but what the reader believes within... I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in - why - !!!

Thoughtful and inspiring. Oriah Mountain Dreamer wraps tender words around simple thoughts and the result is a sentence that opens hearts with care. The poem, "The Invitation," is worth the price of the book alone. It drills down through the pretenses we make about what's important for success in life and uncovers the grain of truth behind all the fluff. It is rethinking the genuine at its best.

Within the pages of this beautiful little book, the reader finds magic, truth, beauty and healing.

As an author, Chinese Medicine & Healthy Weight Management, and healer, I recommend this book highly to my patients and friends, as well as to you.

my introduction to "the invitation " came via another book, by sylvia browne. after reading just that much of what oriah mountain dreamer had to say, i copied it into e-mail form and sent it on to all those i knew would resonate with her words. this book in and of itself takes you gently by the hand and walks you (back) through life's most challenging moments, and keeps you from being ashamed to feel, and to declare yourself. thank you for bringing us out!

I paced myself best I could, finished it this afternoon. I loved it. It sings on the page as a series of personal affirmations which can inspire the reader either to 'Yes, me too!' or to 'Yes, I also am different (thanks for the permission)' or 'Yes, I have been demanding too little of myself and of my life.' I think it will make a profound difference to many of those stirred to awareness of it by the poem of the same name, and also to those who are drawn to the book by its beauty, as I was. I am already anticipating the first rereading.

A long time ago, before I had children, my husband took a second wife.

We were living in Washington, D.C., not the Islamic Republic of Iran, and I had nothing of real value to lose if I packed up and left. The other woman-- an old girlfriend who, last I'd heard, had been languishing in some Connecticut mental hospital-- had blamed him for her troubles when she'd called him for help.

"Listen to me," he'd told me, calmly, firmly. "You know that as a Shiite, I have certain options available to me. That as a Muslim man, I'm afforded certain rights." He looked directly in my eyes. "See, God has given me a way to satisfy my responsibility. God has given me a way out. That's why I've decided to take this woman I've damaged as my second wife."

I was insane with fear. Not just because my parents had been right to disapprove of this union, or that, karmically, this is what my machinations had bought me, but because I'd suddenly tapped into a rage I wasn't sure I could control. I didn't know how far I'd inadvertently go in response to this betrayal. Too far, and I'd drive him off. I'd worked way too hard to allow for that.

Seven days later, I drove him to the train station. Off to Connecticut he went to help this woman pack. Only to haul her things to an apartment he'd found for her three streets over from our own. I was toothlessly furious with him and disgusted with myself.How, I wondered, could any reasonable human being get talked into doing something as self-destructive as this? How could anybody be this weak? Leave herself open to shameless humiliation?

I told no one what was going on, not even my closest girlfriends. Especially my closest girlfriends. Because I was ashamed, afraid that they might recognize the ugly truth for what it was-- that I had zero self-respect, that I was sitting still for this instead of leaving --and run away in horror.

I laughed at the suggestion that anything untoward had happened. No one dared confront the obvious change in my personality, the sudden weight loss, or the perpetual disconnect that had my brain in a fog.

I couldn't let him leave me. I couldn't admit defeat. Nothing but I-told-you-so's waited for me back home. Sure, I could've stayed on in D.C., got my own apartment, built a successful career, developed some satisfying hobbies, but that would've required faith in my self. Without this man, I had no idea who I was.

A numbness took over. I booked a vacation from reality. I figured I'd wait it out. No woman in her right mind--yet, wasn't this woman certifiable?-- would put up with this raw deal. Sooner or later, she'd give it all up and hit the pike.

I figured as long as I pretended everything was normal. As long as I was quiet and agreeable. As long as I cooked his favorite meals the nights he spent with me. This little bump in the road would all smooth out. I banked on Something out there to clean up my mess.

Six months later, the two broke up.
I figured if I couldn't forget, I could surely forgive.

But, try as I might, the spectre never left. Throughout our ten-year marriage, I held my breath. Because it was only a matter of time, 'til he pulled that stunt again. We both knew that if I had tolerated abuse before, I'd tolerate it again. If we teach others how to treat us, I was in serious trouble here.

It's true what they say. You can win the battle, but still lose the war.

After the divorce, I was afraid of men. I figured that if I'd let one run roughshod over my boundaries, I'd likely do it again. I was prickly, and sarcastic. Because with no natural protection, who knows what kind of predator would wander on in.

After a while, I dated the safely unavailable--a guy who lived in Italy, a man who had a wife, the miraculously cured narcissist, and a guy I didn't even like. Instinctively, I knew I was the problem, not they. How can you trust others, if you can't trust yourself?

I thought I understood myself. I thought I had learned the right lessons. Until I read The Invitation (It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for.)by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. The book starts with a poem. A few of the verses go like this:

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart's longing...
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your
own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have
become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want
to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without
moving to hide it or fade it or fix it...
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is
true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true
to yourself: if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not
betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore
trustworthy...
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and
if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

And it was the notion of betraying your own soul that made me feel sick.

Because my husband hadn't done me the harm. In the United States, to stick around for polygamy is a matter of choice.The person who'd sold me cheap all those years ago had actually been me.The person who had decided to accept misuse had been me. Me, me, me.

"We betray ourselves when we deny the change that terrifies us. When we maintain the external illusion that all remains the same. If someone names the betrayal, everything begins to unravel. When our denial of what has happened is so deep as to seem complete, the shock of revelation is overwhelming. We feel broadsided, stunned, broken."

But the question I hadn't thought to ask is this. How can anyone trust you, if you can't trust yourself?

"I learned something about how to tell who was trustworthy. This friend was a good and kind woman but often betrayed herself--ignoring her own feelings to accomodate the wishes of others, abandoning her creative work to take care of a series of alcoholic men in her life. Her inability to be true to herself is what made her untrustworthy, unable to tell the truth when it might bring disapproval from an authority figure."

The other day, I reconnected with a young woman I know. Shell-shocked, she told the story of how her husband, the love of her life, her only real friend, had gone and raped her twelve-year-old daughter. Had been doing so for the last six months.What was she to do? And it was the following week that we talked again. They were going to try some mediation so they could keep the family together.

Backpedaling. Afraid to do it on her own, unloved and alone. So much easier to stick one's head back in the sand. Believe me, I know.

Just think of the cost.

"We often look for someone we can trust more than we trust ourselves. Perhaps this is because we know how often we betray ourselves."

This book is absolutely transformational. I have read many books regarding the search for self, but never have had the pleasure of an author describing exactly how I was feeling. The book's inescapable flow and pros, rendered me unable to put it down until complete. This very well written book has been added to my special library, and will be read till the pages fall out of it's hardback cover. Thank you, Oriah Mountian Dreamer, for the chance to be TRUELY transformed.

What an incredible book! Makes you really take an inventory of your own life and see how what we think is important, just really doesn't matter (keeping up with the Joneses, bigger, better, more). Helps one to realize that in our present culture we are so obsessed with facades and images and "things" that we forget to really live fully and experience life. Highly recommended if you feel your life is missing something quite important. If you read the poem and it didn't stir something in you, then don't get the book. :-)

This poem has resonated with me for several years now. I appreciated Mountain Dreamer's honest explanation into what inspired this powerful poem. It is not often that we get such insight into what situations inspire such works of art.

This book was very thought provoking for me, and is valuable in it's ability to encourage self examination and living more truthfully. One of the most engaging and inspirational books I've read.

I highly recommend this title if you want to take some time to reflect on your own life. As the calandar turns - it's often a time to review what we like and what needs to change. This book gives you some ideas to think about...no easy answers - 'cause it's about your own experience. The meditations at the end of each chapter were very helpful to me - my journal is full! I found it an interesting journey - and will re-read it soon.

I bought the book this summer in London, and paid way too much for it! I'd read the introduction to the book before, the Invitation poem, and had never seen the entire book. So I paid the huge amount, and I'm glad I did! The author is a very gifted woman, writing to not only express her thoughts, but to provoke ours. I re-read this book every so often for inspiration and hope. What a fabulous purchase on my part! :)

A very insightful look at our inner selves. I recommend this audio set to men and women...it helped me to examine my own beliefs, attitudes, and emotions toward life and others. The author, in my opinion, is a lady of wisdom and grace. I found her honesty and openness to be very refreshing. (I am 59 years old, married 31 years, the father of four awesome, adult children, a grandfather and a veteran of the Viet Nam war.)

My daughter introduced me to this book - her boyfriend had given it to her. I can't help but think that if more people passed it on like this that it would have a very positive effect in the world. Simplistic, maybe, but the book it full of optimistic ideas and thought provoking meditations that could make a big difference one person at a time.

Simple Grace: Living a Meaningful Life this book helped to get me back on track. you must read the poem inside....beautiful. from beth jannery, author of simple grace

I purchased this book, assuming I would find it uplifting and enlightening. What a mistake that was! I actually took it back to the store because I refused to let the author have one cent of my money.

Dreamer's writing would appeal to anyone looking for rationalization of bad behavior. When I read the chapter with regard to commitment, I could not believe that she actually condoned a husband dumping his wife after her stroke.

What was worse was that that Dreamer seemed to find a correlation between her own abusive first marriage and this man's situation in his second marriage. Since when does falling ill constitute the same reason to dissolve a marriage as abuse? What kind of person comes with that? Perhaps her first husband hit her on the head and damaged her sense of decency.

When the only person with sense and a conscience mentioned in the book noted that he felt the man dumping his wife due to her illness (and his also having found another woman) was wrong, Dreamer rationalizes the behavior by putting the blame on the man criticizing the act, noting that she wondered how he'd "betrayed his own soul in his life" for worry of what others would think. Nice cop out.

Well, Oriah (and what were you smoking when you made your name up?), here's what I think: You have found a way to make money by appealing to those who are seeking excuses for their amoral behavior. Ironically, these are usually the people with the most money, so one would assume you'll be well set for life. An author you are not, more like a snake oil saleswoman for snakes.

This book was easy to read but empty of content. The lowest rating option is one star, else I would have rated it a big zero. The author liked to use word painting and her sentences flowed nicely, but if you're looking for insight, information, hope, knowledge, or anything other than learning about the mistakes in life the author has made (was this meant to be an autobiography?), save your money. Frankly I was amazed after reading it -- amazed at the positive reviews the book has on it's back cover. Quite a disappointment.

I have longed for affirmations of my imperfections, the humanness of it all. I'm so normal that my soul rings with joy. Thanks to Oriah Mountian Dreamer's wisdom and validation of the human condition.