Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect

The central argument of this book is that the default state of our brains, based largely on functional MRI (fMRI) scans, is being social and connected to others. When we are not doing anything, in so called idle state, our brain fMRI looks like when we are being social. And in that state of doing nothing we mostly think about other people.

Then Mr. Lieberman forces that argument, in rest of the book, to a conclusion that being social is like one of our basic needs for air, water, food and shelter.

My main criticism of this book is that his whole premise is based mainly on functional MRI scans, whose validity, for conclusions that Mr. Lieberman is drawing, is yet to be proven. It is like listening to something in translation, not knowing how faithful the translation is, and then making conclusions based on uncertain translation.

And he really does not go much into the issue of people who like to be loners, whose comfortable state is to be alone and who are distressed in social situations. How do they survive (and sometimes thrive) without the basic need of being social?

Mr. Lieberman has done a decent job of turning a dry and technical subject readable enough for most people but I feel the conclusions, especially from functional MRI studies, are overdrawn.

The best works of non-fiction tend to be research-driven and that is certainly true of this one as its annotated "Notes" (Pages 309-365) indicates. To Matthew Lieberman's great credit, he presents a wealth of information and insights with language that non-scientists such as I can understand. His primary purpose is to explain why and how the human brain is wired to think socially. That is, to make connections, to read the minds of others, and to "harmonize" with others in the groups with which we connect.

As he observes, "Just as there are multiple social networks on the Internet such as Facebook and Twitter, each with its own strengths, there are also multiple social networks in our brains, sets of brain regions that work together to promote our social well-being. These networks each have their own strengths, and they have emerged at different points in their evolutionary history moving from vertebrates to mammals to primates to us, Homo sapiens. Additionally, these same evolutionary steps are recapitulated in the same order in childhood."

Connection: Over time, humans have developed a capacity "to feel social pains and pleasures, forever linking our well-being to our connectedness." The more connected we are, the more secure we feel and the happier we are.

Mindreading: Humans have also developed "an unparalleled ability to understand the actions and thoughts of those around them, enhancing their ability to stay connected and interact strategically." This allows people to create groups that can "implement nearly any idea and to anticipate the needs and wants of those around us, keeping our groups moving smoothly."

Harmonizing: "The sense of self is one of the most evolutionary gifts we have received. Although the self may appear to be a mechanism for distinguishing us from others and perhaps accentuating our selfishness, the self actually operates as a powerful force for social effectiveness." We connect or agree to have others connect with us when our wish is to be social. We harmonize when we are willing to allow group beliefs and values to influence our own. In a phrase, our wish is to "blend in."
These are among the dozens of passages of greatest interest and value to me, also listed to suggest the scope of Lieberman's coverage in the first seven of twelve chapters:

o Social Networks for Social Networks (Pages 9-12)
o Default Social Cognition (19-23)
o The Social Brain Hypothesis (31-33)
o Inverting Maslow (41-43)
o The Anterior Cingulate Cortex and Human Pain (50-54)
o Our Alarm System (61-64)
o Sticks and Stones (66-70)
o Varieties of Reward, and, Working Together (79-83)
o The Axiom of Self-Interest (83-86)
o Why Are Social Rewards Rewarding? (92-95)
o Everyday Mindreading (105-109)
o A System for General Intelligence (112-115)
o A System for Social Intelligence (115-118)
o Social Thinking Is for Social Living (120-123)
o Practice Doesn't Always Make Perfect (126-129)
o The Miracle of Mentalizing (129-130)
o Mindreading Mirrors? and, Cracks in the Mirror (137-143)
o Making the Social World Possible (149-150)
o I Feel Your Pain (152-155)
o Being a Social Alien (161-165)
o The Broken Mirror Hypothesis (168-172)
o Social Cognition (177-178)

It would be a good idea to keep these three brain regions in mind -- Connection, Mindreading, and Harmonizing -- when involved with one or more social media. To a varying degree, in different ways, they shape what Lieberman characterizes as "the social mind." This is perhaps what he had in his own mind when pointing out that, to the extent that we can characterize evolution as designing our modern brains, "this is what our brains were wired for: reaching out and interacting with others. These are design features, not flaws. These social adaptations are central to making us the most successful species on earth."

Matthew Lieberman duly acknowledges that there is yet a great deal more to learn about man's sociality from psychology, neuroscience, and beyond. That said, "we have a great opportunity to reshape our society and its institutions to maximize our own potential, both as individuals and together as a society."

Let's all hope that, sooner than later, the process of natural selection -- guided and informed by principles of the social brain -- will enable the humanity we share to overcome will overcome and eventually eliminate the inhumanity that endangers so much of the world today.

This book lays out the case that people are wired to be social creatures and that the pain involved in relationship loss and social trauma is felt in a very real way. It's a very easy to understand book, and the case is laid out well, in a logical, progressive fashion with plenty of anecdotes. For instance, heart ache really is perceived as heart ache and can affect the health.
The last part of the book is more devoted to applications of this knowledge- for instance using the brain's need for social connections to help educational endeavors, and to engage students more fully.
I kept looking for perhaps a whole chapter to be devoted to using social isolation and pain as torture, for instance, solitary confinement when connections are severed, in our criminal justice system, but the book never took it the application of social needs and pain that far.

'Social' is a well-considered, highly readable, and immediately relevant text for living in the 21st century. It has value for anyone who seeks to understand current trends in psychology. More relevant to more people, it also includes many insights that can be applied to daily life and work.

The Information Revolution has occasioned many changes. Among them is the primacy of relationships in the workplace and beyond. In one sense, of course, there's always been truth in the old saw, "It's all about relationships." Today, however, that's been taken much further. With the Internet and the capacity of anyone to communicate with others, many interactions that were formerly viewed as transactions, are now relationships. For example, when a large company or other institution provides inferior service to an individual, that individual may be empowered to extend the relationship through sharing information with many, many other people. So, too, the new communication tools make it possible for groups to connect in ad hoc networks that hold the possibility of creating much greater value than is possible acting individually. And social media, such as Facebook, enable us to spark or maintain varied types of relationships with many more people than in the past.

Now comes Professor Lieberman, with psychological research, including the use of new tools to measure brain function, interpreted as showing that our brains are "wired" for sophisticated social interaction. He goes further, declaring that "social cognition" is our default. Lieberman suggests many implications, including more social interaction thoughtfully encouraged in our education systems and workplaces.

Prospective readers should be forewarned: this book is rather long. Some might even regard it as rather long-winded. Lieberman is taking on a challenging assignment: translating scientific findings and debates accurately into a format accessible to lay readers. He does it well. He also makes it interesting. One suspects that many readers will skip around this book, rather than follow it straight through. If one does that, it can still add a lot of value. Individuals who enjoy psychology, and most particularly its link with physiology, might well find themselves going through the entire volume, savoring the depth of insights.

First off, to warn potential readers, this book is not at all about online social networking or any sort of scientific explanation of Twitter or Facebook. This book is about innate cognitive & neurological tendencies toward human connection.

Second, much of this is not new research, in fact it's been around for a while. For example, the research about the "human connection" center of our brains is from the early 90's (about 20 years ago). But this book is a fantastic synthesis of all that research.

The author's premise is that humans have an innate longing to connect (a life-long motivation, unless we suffer a brain malfunction). He wants to understand where this motivation comes from (neurologically & cognitively), and explore how to use this knowledge to improve the world, how organizations can increase efficiency & results by utilizing this information, and how this can be applied in our daily lives (work, home, school, etc).

Much of the book is reminiscent of Daniel Goleman's Emotional Intelligence, and that entire movement from 10-20 years ago. And if any of this strikes a cord with you, I would also recommend The Great Disconnect (which is about how social & online networking is actually dis-connecting us from each other), and also the Behavioral Economics books such as Predictably Irrational.

My one suggestion would be for the editor to rethink the subtitle - the focus isn't really science of the brain ("Why" our brains are wired to connect), but rather, how to utilize the brain that is wired to connect.

I could go on for quite some time, but I give this a full 5-stars and recommend it to anyone interested in understanding human nature. It also has great applications for educators, business owners, large or small organizations, even marketing.

This is a fairly interesting book if you are interested in psychology, neuroscience, social science, or the brain in general. The author sites numerous studies, many of them his own, that show how we are wired to be social creatures. Of course this is really not news as virtually everyone knows we are social creatures. However, the author shows that in many cases we are even more social than we realize and that things we may think are features for selfish ends, may actually be in place to make us more socially acceptable to our groups.

The book has three major parts - Connection, Mind-Reading, and Harmonizing. This book has the store's "Look Inside" feature and you should definitely look at the table of contents and preview some of the text.

The text can get pretty detailed at times and uses a lot of neuroscience acronyms for parts of the brain, but it isn't a long or difficult read. It's readily accessible and understandable to those interested.

Recommended.

Social explains the how and why humans are social creatures and how the need for social interactions is right up there with food, clothing and shelter - and the authors argue it’s potentially more important than those basic needs since as infants we rely on the social connections of the community and our parents to provide those needs. Let’s face it, babies aren’t terribly easy to deal with and without that social bond, they’d be helpless to feed and clothe themselves.

This observation, along with other observations regarding how we learn, feel pain, and generally get along with life are covered. The author uses primarily his own research as well as personal anecdotes plus other studies to give the reader a wide variety of insights on why humans are so social. Professionals in the field will probably already know most of the information and the audience for the book is outside the field of psychology.

The pace of the book is conversational and the references are mostly in the back of the book which prevents the non-technical person getting bogged down in facts and figures. This is a fun book that really got me thinking about my daily social interactions and how fascinating they can be. This is the perfect book for a book club to chat about!

This is a highly readable, accessible work for the layperson about new research being done on the neurological underpinnings for human social connection. The author details a number of studies that demonstrate that our brains are wired as they are to make it possible for us to be social beings. I was struck by the fact that social rejection is experienced by the brain similarly to the way it reacts to physical pain. (Pain medication can help. Who knew?) Fairness and charitable giving feels good. We are built to survive—but to survive by fitting into a social matrix. Our default state is to think about social interactions and our primary area of study as young children is learning to navigate our social world.

The implications of this book are enormous. We are by nature selfish loners (and we’re not selfless saints either) but at our core we are social beings. Lieberman argues convincingly that this fact should be kept in mind by the designers human institutions ranging from schools to corporations. This book is fascinating, one of those rare volumes that makes you see the world around you in a different light. Highly recommended.

I would recommend this book to anyone who is interested in social interactions and how the brain processes the interactions. Now days we are all introverts with the amount of technology at our hands we do not have to physically talk to people we can send them a text and that can be the end of the interaction. It can cause anxiety in some people to have to actually interact with others to finish a group project or to make a new friend because it is easier to hide behind a key board. That is the problem now days we seem to not value social interactions. We have a constant fear of rejection when in reality there are plenty of people just like us that we can be friends with. The book talks about three steps that better helps us connect with society. Connection the ability to feel social emotions, mindreading allowing us to understand the actions and thoughts of our social group, and harmonizing is how we adapt and let the social norms influence our own (Lieberman, 2013, p.11). It is such an interesting summary of how and why we sometimes act the way we do. Matthew Lieberman really brakes down why we feel it is important to be accepted by our peers. How easily influenced we are because we want to be accepted by society. That has brought new meaning to jumping on the band wagon because before it was just to be cool because everyone else was doing it but it literally is because we might be shunned if we do not like that thing.

"Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect" by Matthew D. Lieberman is actually a very enjoyable, in addition to educational, book to read. It's amazing how we arrive in this world hard wired to interact with other people. Helping other people can stimulate our brains in a pleasurable way but can it be thought of as being as pleasurable as eating ice cream? How do our brains reward us when we make a donation that we are given some sort of Thank You trinket as opposed to making a donation with no trinket in return and how does this impact the charity? What part do our brains play in self-control and who controls it? Is there an emotional cost to finding constant happiness? Even if we are hard wired to be social, is there room for individualism? These questions and others are examined in this book.

I found this book to be quite a lively read and very engaging. A very worthwhile read.

First, this is an immensely readable approach to complex subject matter. Second, it does a good job covering how humans are and always have been social creatures. The this book sheds light on just how deep that is wired into the way we evolved.

In a way, more importantly, I found it pretty useful in terms of building family and enterprises. Thinking of organizations as modular formations of fully functioning components (humans) is in vogue in business thinking nowadays, and this book fills out the scientific backing for that school of thought - without getting lost in the neuron weeds.

It got me thinking, it reads well, and it's helping shape my future. In other words, a good book.

Our desire to connect with others is an important behavior that is evolved and our brains have complex biochemical mechanisms to support this. What makes our basic need for someone to love and respect us, or we like to love and respect someone? These basic social needs are present at birth to ensure our survival and we are guided by those needs until the end, says UCLA professor Matthew Lieberman, the author of this book. For example, the mammalian young are born strongly dependent on mother for protection and survival, unlike newborn in lower strata of the evolutionary ladder. Therefore the evolutionary mechanisms provided safeguards in the brain (dorsal anterior cingulate cortex and anterior insula) which creates a painful response in the offspring, when it is separated from the mother, and consequently makes distress calls. The brain also has reward system which is sensitive both to giving and receiving care in the parent and child respectively. This results in social bonding between mother and offspring.

The social pain and pleasure make use of the same neural machinery as physical pain and pleasure, creating a powerful motivational drive to maximize our positive social experiences and minimize the negative ones. Our capacity to mind-read others allow us to consider the goals, intentions, emotions and beliefs of others. The social imagination processed via mentalizing systems allow us to take coordination to the extremes, creating various symbolic social connections like the attachment we feel to sports teams, political parties, celebrities, music, movies and many more. This capacity allow us to build social institutions like schools, government, hospitals, courts, industries, etc.

The mentalizing system is active from the moment we are born, and it comes whenever we have downtime, even when we dream. It is estimated that we need about 10,000 hours to master a skill or learn to make sense of people. Human beings also have a self-system in the brain that serves a Trojan horse sneaking in the values and beliefs of others around us. The self-system improves our odds of being liked, loved and respected by others. The neuroimaging techniques are widely used to study and measure the neural basis of people's social interactions. The author mentions two such methods; functional magnetic resonance imaging and functional near infrared spectroscopy techniques. This is very well written book and I highly recommend this to anyone interested in behavioral sciences.

1. Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation

Fascinating subject. Good book. Well written. Informed author who has published research in the center of the subject. But just shy of really really good. It's a little light, and the conclusions towards the end are more personal extrapolations than strongly supported science. It is fun to see how socially connected we are. And then you start to see it everywhere. For example, we love reading other peoples reviews of books, right? We enjoy comments and seeing how we are socially connected. This modern informed examination of such a powerful human driver makes for an interesting read. The science parts are fully referenced, but as mentioned, the end of the book heads to more personal projections.

Dr. Lieberman has synthesized a complicated growing body of research in a way the reader can understand. Infinately readable and engaging. Covers a lot of neuroscience ground with historic stories. A nice overview for clinicians, teachers and people interested in social cognition. This is a field of controversies as you can see from the other reviews. Dr. Lieberman weaves a well written discourse that covers diverse topics about the social condition. Those who want more can read the journals as well.

Social connection is such an important thing, without social connection we would feel depressed. This book is good but I didn't learn much from reading it. Most of the book was explanation of the part of the brain and how it affects us socially. Without a certain part of the brain could affect the way we socialize.

I got in a rather spirited discussion with a friend from church the other day. He was complaining about social networking programs, as well as products like texting that allow people to quickly connect with one another on a regular basis. He did not like how such technologies limit face to face interaction. At that point I agreed with him. Then he went on to talk about a father who was able to visit with his daughter several states away and get pictures from her, and how all of this kind of thing was just a "waste of time", and unhealthy. It was at this point I disagreed with him, sharing with him that I believed that people are hard wired to relate....to connect.

This fine book SOCIAL, brings scientific proof to the truth that is really as contemporary as wireless technology and as ancient as Scripture. We are created to connect to others in relationship. It is part of how our brain functions, and it might even be one of the best facilitators of good brain function. Leaders would do well to help their workers and followers harness their social instincts instead of asking them to repress them, this book implies, and I think its thesis is correct.

Easily read, intelligent, researched, and thoughtful, SOCIAL is a must read for business leaders and leaders of people from whatever background they come.

Social breaks down how our brains process social activity but does so in a way that is very accessible to the average reader. Given the surge in both social media usage and discussions of social media in general, I think that this book arrives at an opportune moment to shed light on how humans are social. We didn't start sharing because of twitter and facebook. They just became an outlet for what is inherent in us.

Hey, even I could pretty much understand what Lieberman is saying here. The need for social interaction is built into our brains and as Lieberman illustrates, that need has helped us evolve as the human race. He keeps us listening and he helps us understand our own natures. For this, he's to be congratulated. This is a book for all to read.

Lieberman makes unique insights into how important socialization is for an individual's well being. Additionally, some of the benefits of socializing are often ignored so his comments on the assistance towards fitness and overall health are critical. For many people who struggle to reach goals in life, understanding the value of social connections can be a major development.

Fascinating, well-researched, well-written. I couldn't put it down and find myself referencing Social and Lieberman a lot. Really excellent information and extremely engaging and readable.

Dr. Tracy Brower, author of Bring Work to Life by Bringing Life to Work: A Guide for Leaders and Organizations

This book is based on the fascinating research world of neuroscience. That's a plus. He uses some good science. That's a plus. His writing style is boorish.
That's not the real problem though. The real problem is that he seems to think we're dumb or that most people are dumb. He takes a few studies and really runs with them. The implications he comes up with are one possibility, but they are not the only possibility. I get it. He's on the cutting edge, yadi yadi yadi.
This is an intro for the lay person, etc.
It still doesn't mean that we're just the silly ones sitting at the corner or dumbfounded and ignorance.
I probably wouldn't recommend this book to my friends.
And yet...
It's an OK read. He has some good stuff to say and provokes the reader in some areas that make his implied belief that we are stupid worth the read.
As my three stars would indicate, I'm torn on this one.

Fascinating book about the brain. It's also dry and technical and needs more heart, but I digress: the INFORMATION in it is fascinating. Also recommend books by Carline Leaf (Who Switched Off my Brain, etc).

This book describes ground-breaking research on the neuroscience of social connections, written by the world's foremost expert on the topic. if you are interested in this topic -- and you should be -- just stop reading reviews and buy the book. You won't regret it.

Fascinating. I love this book. I am not a social person and have quite a difficult time with connecting with people. But this book helps me understand the importance. Since reading I have made conscious efforts to connect with people and am gradually shifting my perspective.

Very interesting read

Got me thinking a bunch about the underlying biological origins or our social selves. Has reframed several of my views on work interactions and the future development of my young, one day teenage girls. A very readable book. Left you feeling there was a ton more to be discovered. i look forward to the follow up.

This book is going straight into the fireplace. What a waste of money. The author is arrogant and has no clue about social dynamics. It's (not its) like the saying goes "If you can't do teach." Perhaps his connections got him as far as he is, being a graduate of Harvard, but this book is not worth your time. Please make sure to thumb through this boring writing at your local bookstore before making a purchase on the store. You might regret it.