And Getting Better All the Time - Beyond Codependency

Melody's books have been my guiding light in identifying my codependency issues and affirming theres nothing wrong with me. I'm grateful to have discovered her books and look forward to reading her other books as part of my self-care recovery program.

I was interested in how past childhood experiences affect co-dependency (there are no alcoholics or drug addicts in my pre-marital past) and bought this book to get a better understanding of co-dependency in general. Instead, I received an A/Al Anon 12 step program manual disguised as a self help book. Having lost a spouse to the cult of A.A., the last thing I was interested in was more 12 step higher power speak, and this book is chock full of it. Had the author mentioned anywhere in the title that the book was 12 step based, I could have saved my money and gotten a more useful book. If you're interested in 12 step based recovery literature, they hand out the Big Book free at A.A and Al Anon meetings; save yourself some money.

I ordered this on cassette because it wasn't offered on CD (WHICH I FIND REDICULOUS!). It was only ONE TAPE! Very dissatisfied! one tape clearly can't cover the content of the book. Also, it was open when I got it.

Its one thing to accept that you're codependent, and to begin to understand that it is you--your perceptions--of your own self--in relationship to the outer world that's in need of fixing, but it is another thing to know what to do with your new understandings of self once this idea has been established.Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time

This book is just what the title suggests...it is a book that takes you beyond the understanding that you are one who thinks codependently in relation to everything that touches your world.

If you're codependent, you-re codependent...

Fixing the very perceptions we use to navigate our world is not an easy thing to do.

In fact it is quite courageous to 'think'...most beings do not think...In fact...most beings need to be taught to even comprehend that it is quite possible to 'think' rather than to react.

Reacting is not thinking.

As a self help author who specializes in the area of codependency, low self esteem, and relationships, especially the relationship to the self, I highly recommend anyone who is struggling in any relationship, to read this book.

Kudos to Beattie...she has done it again.

Namaste....

Somewhere in the 80's, life started falling apart for me. I overworked at my job and over-committed in my church., I was an over-achiever and an over-giver. Despite my achievements and awards and recognition, But nothing ever actually filled my need. At one point, where I went to work for the church, I was putting in 100 hours or more a week...it was a bottomless pit of need.

I had a lot of advice. "Say no." "Set boundaries." "Take care of yourself." "I don't know how you do it!" (I wasn't doing it. I was collapsing."
I went to some 12 step meetings, especially one for relatives of alcoholics. I ended up just listening, often in tears that I didn't understand. I heard a lot about Adult Children of Alcoholics, or ACA's. Yeah, I was an ACA. But I was spinning in circles in 12 step meetings, not making any progress.

Someone gave me this book.

I hated it, but i saw myself in it. And found I was neither alone nor hopelessly messed up. Yes, it did change my life. Although the connection to alcoholism is strong and important, I found that wasn't really what was behind my co-dependency. No matter, as many reviewers have said, this book is a start.

Therapy was necessary and a godsend for me.

I have lived quite a long life since that start. I recognize even today when codependency raises its ugly little head.
Thanks to this book, therapy and a few other incredible books, I have lived a long and healthy and grateful life.

Have mercy on yourself and read this book. You'll know if it's about you.

Beattie scores again with this self-help book. This is more in-depth than her first book, "Codependent No More," and is for those of us who have moved past the beginning steps of our recovery.

Non-Christian Note: The one and only thing that put me off about this book was the constant references to religion. Yes, she says that any form of spirituality is accepted and acceptable for recovering, but when reading her book you can easily tell which one she prefers.

As an adult child of an alcoholic, and recently divorced from an abusive (codependent) marriage, I have heard the word "codependent" tossed around more than a few times with marriage counselors and therapists. I thought I was way beyond that. I actually ordered the book to gain insight into a friend of mine's issues (is that codependancy or what?) and found myself time and time again among the pages. It opened my eyes to behaviors and dysfunctional relationship issues that I was still repeating. WOW. I really understand what codependency is and even though I was not married to an alcoholic, I was truly in an awful abusive codependent controlling relationship and I will never do that again.
I have so many pages that I have underlined and dog-eared, and you can bet I will keep that book out to read and re-read often. Amazing.
Now that my eyes have been opened I can learn and grow and become a strong and independent person and find healthy functional relationships where I can truly be me and let the other person be them. This book is a must read for anyone in a codependent relationship!

Beattie scores again with this self-help book. This is more in-depth than her first book, "Codependent No More," and is for those of us who have moved past the beginning steps of our recovery.

Non-Christian Note: The one and only thing that put me off about this book was the constant references to religion. Yes, she says that any form of spirituality is accepted and acceptable for recovering, but when reading her book you can easily tell which one she prefers.

As an adult child of an alcoholic, and recently divorced from an abusive (codependent) marriage, I have heard the word "codependent" tossed around more than a few times with marriage counselors and therapists. I thought I was way beyond that. I actually ordered the book to gain insight into a friend of mine's issues (is that codependancy or what?) and found myself time and time again among the pages. It opened my eyes to behaviors and dysfunctional relationship issues that I was still repeating. WOW. I really understand what codependency is and even though I was not married to an alcoholic, I was truly in an awful abusive codependent controlling relationship and I will never do that again.
I have so many pages that I have underlined and dog-eared, and you can bet I will keep that book out to read and re-read often. Amazing.
Now that my eyes have been opened I can learn and grow and become a strong and independent person and find healthy functional relationships where I can truly be me and let the other person be them. This book is a must read for anyone in a codependent relationship!

This is a MUST have companion book to Codependent No More. If you've read that book countless times like I have; then you really need this book!
Melody continues on with what do we do after we know we're codependent? It's especially good around boundaries, and Intimacy. Life changing information!!!

An excellent book for those who are continuing recovery! We already have the scattered bits and pieces of information, now what do we do with them and how do we integrate them into our lives and become the people we were born to be.