The LawDog Files

Overall good collection of stories and exploits posted on the internet by of the Lawdog, a Sheriff's Deputy in a rural Texas town. Very funny and a good look at all the stuff law enforcement puts up with. My favorites were anything about Big Mama and her family and the Pogonip. Interesting that he says women make excellent peace officers, as long as an officer with draggy knuckles is close by. But what if the draggy knuckles officer needs similar backup?

Good stories told by a master storyteller. I could have done without the shift reports, and I confess that a few of my favorites from his blog were missing, but if you have never read LawDog's stuff, trust me - y'all are in for a real treat. Best five dollars I ever spent.

I'm i am not a cop
I haven problems with file 17 it went so far over my head i missed the humor i know if was there i just had no reference .
You started well recalling your audience but now at 21it's so abbreviated i have no idea what your talking about . You lost me entirely at 17 it went downhill from there your audience is people not cops so recall that when u are reminiscing. They are good stories just remember your audience are pretty much peeps in training.

This is tough to rate. A series of reasonably well-written vignettes, mildly funny and some filler in the form of mildly funny reports on jailhouse or prison activity. Given that most of the stories are at least partly true, and the idiom matches with my experience, it's like a poor man's Jeff Foxworthy maybe. I paid 4..9 for the Kindle edition and feel like 1.99 would have been more fair.

LawDog (great name) served as a cop and/or sheriff, apparently somewhere in Texas, and this book is short wonderful tales of some of his experiences. Partly out-and-about in the county and partly standing watch at a local jail, both kinds of tales are laugh-out-loud funny. From dealing with an amorous armadillo during a stake-out to the amazing pink gorilla suit, LawDog gives great glimpses into small town life -- and small town criminal behavior -- from a kindly but sometimes slightly exasperated eye. Seeing some of the goings-on inside a jail and the weird things that can go wrong (and right) on calls for help showed me a warm and friendly aspect of being a LEO. Well written and very funny! Hope he writes another!

I'm not an "the store verified" purchaser, because I bought it direct from Castalia House, the great new publishing house! (Sheesh, they have FILLED my tablet with book after book after book -- and all of them well-worth the time and electrons! If you haven't been over to Castalia -- take the trip and enjoy the amazing range and depth of books!

I've been a fan of this author for literally years now. From his online and blog days to his now, his new career as a best selling book cover author. I can tell you from the moment I picked up this book cover I was truly entranced by it. This author's use of prose to create the vast landscape of this cover really grabbed me and kept me glued to this cover. This cover painted a great and expansive land. A seemingly endless world, from a sky that looks to flow forever to lands of such great majesty that I could barely believe that the cover did them such justice, no pun intended. The gripping drama of this cover took me to heights and depths that I didn't think possible for any book cover. This cover started me at heights so great that I felt I was watching this cover from orbit almost. Then it pulled me down like an Apollo command module returning from the heavens. Screaming down like a firey arrow to this book cover's infinite fields. Endless plains of pink gorillas.

“The Lawdog Files,” is a collection of stories from author Lawdog about his life as a sheriff’s deputy. Each story is informative and entertaining in its own right…like walking down an imaginary aisle where a variety of vicious delights are being offered. There’s humor, tragedy, violence, incarceration follies...things a sheriff’s deputy may say is routine, but for the average person becomes quite engrossing. You will laugh, wipe a tear and even smile at the thought that the joys you receive from reading some of Lawdog’s stories would and HAVE enraged even the most self-controlled SJWs (a critter the author is quite familiar with).

You will be brought into a world where being someone’s “Bestest Buddy” doesn’t mean what you think it means, where 9mm’s aren’t much better than water balloons…a place where people commit acts of violence with their fists, gyrating pink gorillas, wasabi, homemade tattoo machines, mouthwash, their cars, and even with a plastic Jesus.

Behind the often humorous and well-written stories is a thread of solemnity and wisdom. Where a deputy properly diagnoses an abuse problem as one of “unconsciousness possessiveness,” or an elderly man spends his last living moments reflecting on a past long gone. A world in which a piece of paper provides little protection when savagery pays a visit.

I invite you to purchase and read this book…if for no other reason than joining Lawdog as he,
“Strolls happily down the alley to the heartrending sounds of shrieking, tearing, crashing and general doggy mayhem.”

Remember back when you were a kid and your family would have large gatherings? All of your uncles would be there and reminisce about common memories from the past. Often hilarious, sometimes self-deprecating, always interesting in showing facets of your elders lives that while you couldn't always directly relate too still gave you a sense of what their lives were like. I've never served as a police officer but I have served alongside of them in the military and known others personally (including attending the retirement party of one good friend). I've heard stories in this vein before but seldom so polished and entertaining. If you know a police officer, get them this. There are collections of the darker side of law-enforcement out there that are well done also, but you are unlikely to find many like this showing the lighter side. A great way to relieve some of your stress vicariously by laughing along with the LawDog at his stories.

I've been a fan of this author for literally years now. From his online and blog days to his now, his new career as a best selling book cover author. I can tell you from the moment I picked up this book cover I was truly entranced by it. This author's use of prose to create the vast landscape of this cover really grabbed me and kept me glued to this cover. This cover painted a great and expansive land. A seemingly endless world, from a sky that looks to flow forever to lands of such great majesty that I could barely believe that the cover did them such justice, no pun intended. The gripping drama of this cover took me to heights and depths that I didn't think possible for any book cover. This cover started me at heights so great that I felt I was watching this cover from orbit almost. Then it pulled me down like an Apollo command module returning from the heavens. Screaming down like a firey arrow to this book cover's infinite fields. Endless plains of pink gorillas.

“The Lawdog Files,” is a collection of stories from author Lawdog about his life as a sheriff’s deputy. Each story is informative and entertaining in its own right…like walking down an imaginary aisle where a variety of vicious delights are being offered. There’s humor, tragedy, violence, incarceration follies...things a sheriff’s deputy may say is routine, but for the average person becomes quite engrossing. You will laugh, wipe a tear and even smile at the thought that the joys you receive from reading some of Lawdog’s stories would and HAVE enraged even the most self-controlled SJWs (a critter the author is quite familiar with).

You will be brought into a world where being someone’s “Bestest Buddy” doesn’t mean what you think it means, where 9mm’s aren’t much better than water balloons…a place where people commit acts of violence with their fists, gyrating pink gorillas, wasabi, homemade tattoo machines, mouthwash, their cars, and even with a plastic Jesus.

Behind the often humorous and well-written stories is a thread of solemnity and wisdom. Where a deputy properly diagnoses an abuse problem as one of “unconsciousness possessiveness,” or an elderly man spends his last living moments reflecting on a past long gone. A world in which a piece of paper provides little protection when savagery pays a visit.

I invite you to purchase and read this book…if for no other reason than joining Lawdog as he,
“Strolls happily down the alley to the heartrending sounds of shrieking, tearing, crashing and general doggy mayhem.”

Remember back when you were a kid and your family would have large gatherings? All of your uncles would be there and reminisce about common memories from the past. Often hilarious, sometimes self-deprecating, always interesting in showing facets of your elders lives that while you couldn't always directly relate too still gave you a sense of what their lives were like. I've never served as a police officer but I have served alongside of them in the military and known others personally (including attending the retirement party of one good friend). I've heard stories in this vein before but seldom so polished and entertaining. If you know a police officer, get them this. There are collections of the darker side of law-enforcement out there that are well done also, but you are unlikely to find many like this showing the lighter side. A great way to relieve some of your stress vicariously by laughing along with the LawDog at his stories.

This book is a well-written, realistic portrait of life as a Law Enforcement Officer in a small West Texas sheriff's department. It's written with humor, and that all-too-often missing quality: compassion. I appreciate the realism of Lawdog's situation, since he mixes the falling-down-laughing stories with the humdrum prison/jail tales, and the poignant, touching stories. They allow the reader to experience the amusing, frustrating, exasperating life of a small county or town LEO. Not always by-the-book, and better for it!
If anyone remembers an hilarious t.v. show called "F. Troop" this is the F. Troop of sheriffdom.
My only objection to the book is the cover. Here in the Southwest, a sheriff's department badge is a star; any other law enforcement department is designated by a shield. In fact, it is said with pride, "I'm a star, not a shield." Whoever did the cover dropped the ball (or badge, as it were) badly.

From the land of annual Goat BBQs and insanely hot bicycle races in the summer comes the tales of small town law enforcement before YouTube and Facebook! It's an essential function in our society that trebly delivers gut busting, laugh out loud tales of what happens after someone calls 911 on a rotary dial phone on a party line. DLD came about his experiences honestly by working the back streets, alleys, and farm to market roads of his jurisdiction keeping people safe from themselves. From animal encounters, drive in lodging, and other stories that compel the reader to keep going and not put this book down. This is a great summer read that shows the human side of law enforcement in small town Texas with a humorous twist!

The LawDog Files is a great, touching, and frequently hilarious recounting of the hijinks and travails of a Texas lawman dealing with small town nonsense and small time criminals. While a number of the stories were wacky and uproarious (especially the characters of Thing 1 and Thing 2, who seem like a hoot and a headache), what I especially appreciated were the quieter and more moving moments of humanity scattered among the rest. The stories are short and read quickly, and I found myself tearing through them all over the course of a single evening and wanting more. I hope that LawDog keep collecting and publishing the goings on in his corner of Texas. And here's to his sheriff and his best piece of advice: "Work smarter, not harder."

I obtained this book through the Kindle Unlimited program.
The cover deserves a closer look; not only is the badge featured, but if you look closely, you'll see that the background is a scene from what could very well be one of the LawDog's hangouts. Scott Beaulieu is the artist.

If not quite of the same status as an imprimatur, a Foreword written by Larry Corriea has at least symbolic value to the hordes who shamble after him, holding out cash and begging for something else to read. In this case, though, it serves to tie in the current work with an experience that many of us (at least those of a certain level of maturity of years) have shared: finding a bright ray of light in the early days of what has become the Internet. Long before pictures of cats were available, text-based bulletin boards gradually evolved into text based fora, where grim knowledge was exchanged, along with the occasional insult. LawDog injected some humor into the wasteland, and thus won a following. (Note: I am a member of that same forum, dating from about 10 years after LawDog started posting. Sigh. Had I only started earlier, who knows? Perhaps I would now own a mountain.)

The stories are a selection of the material LawDog has posted over the last 20 years. Prior to each story, he provides some of the background material that lead up to the post. For those of us who LOVE back story, this is exactly the sort of icing on the cake that makes us feel like we are part of the inner circle.
The very first story he posted, sometime in the late 1990s, had a drunken, lovestruck armadillo as a main character. What makes the story stand out, however, is not the armadillo, but LawDog's ability with language to poke fun at himself. He describes hanging upside down in a thorny hedge, while fellow LEOs and other emergency service people are standing around, helpless with laughter, in such a way that we are brought into the event. With talent like this, and material to work with with, failure to amuse was NOT an option.

LawDog kills Santa Claus. He falls on the ice, and uses that as a tool to catch a miscreant. He introduces us to characters we NEVER hope to meet in person, including various members of Big Mama's family. He also gives us insight into the times when the solution to a crime problem DOESN'T involve an arrest, and the times when sitting in silence is the very best choice that can be made.

It's the latter, I believe, that keep the LawDog from that edge of cynicism about the human condition that grinds so many cops into the ground. If you want a beautiful picture of human compassion, then read "Going Home," a story about his search for an elderly man missing from a nursing home.
He gives us delicate and tasteful advice: "If you’re going to Say It With Saliva in Texas, make sure your boyfriend can take a whuppin’."
He describes the brilliance and utter stupidity of inmates, who publish their crimes on social media, and who are able to recognize legitimacy of reports based on they type of language and ink used.
And, of course, the should-be-deservedly-so famous story of the Pink Gorilla Suit. It's so famous, it's INFAMOUS. Like El Guapo.
Be sure of this: unless you are ill, incarcerated, or have very little sense of humor (poor soul), you will find something to love in the LawDog Files.
And on August 10, the LawDog's African stories will be available on the store.

Keep it up Lawdawg, for at least in our house, your tales bring joy, amusement, and occasionally deep introspection. ( Your article on "the monster inside" has produced some very soul baring discussion in our home. I have occasionally paraphrased it, when teaching shooting and firearms ownership, to point out that a person MUST know oneself, in order to truly be responsible. Whenever I do paraphrase the article, I text them a link to your blog, and request they read the original for themselves.)

P.S. My father passed on from cancer a few years back. Before he passed, when the treatment and chemo really were hitting him hard, I used to read him your stories that you posted on your blog. He laughed more during "the pink gorilla", the tale about the honey badger in the tiger trap, and the trebuche in the junkyard, than we had heard since he got sick. Thank you, for giving my father the gift of mirth in his last days. Whenever anyone causes you doubt regarding your gift for writing, please remember that gift.

I have been a devoted follower of Lawdog's blog for years. He has a fantastic talent for telling tales and makes you feel as if you're sitting around the campfire listening to him. Having these compiled into an easier and more compact format has long been a wish of mine as I recommend him often and am always looking for a story to get a new reader started and I, for one, am really happy that he's finally put his stories together in this form.

He's just one of the guys. Success means that everyone can go home to a nice quiet dinner and chat with the wife. Unfortunately, when you're a deputy in small town Texas, life isn't so simple. The LawDog is deeply compassionate, seeks justice and has an eagle eye for the absurdly funny, even if he ends up on the receiving end of it all at times.

This book is a quick read. The individual stories are short and well told. They are laugh out loud funny and yet they are deeply serious peeks into the tangled depths of the human condition.

He spends his time with inmates, folk who just don't know when to leave well enough alone and other misfits and he still loves life, his job and the people around him.

If you want to see the good that modern policing can accomplish, this book has it in spades. If you want to laugh till you cry, then this book has that too. If you want gently wry insight into people and their troubles, that is here as well.

In short, read this book as fast as you can.

About the time I was reading about the "Serving Platter of Doom +3", I was laughing hard enough that I couldn't see the page. If your eyes are dry after reading about Mr. Johnson, you have no soul. I recognized the "two beers" from my own time in law enforcement. All in all, I enjoyed this book far more than I should have, and I suspect you will too. It gives you a mostly unvarnished look at a few moments in the life of a law enforcement officer. You may not believe everything he writes, but trust me: He's not exaggerating.

LawDog leads the reader on a fantastic and hilarious journey through human psychology, the realities of rural Texas, and the ups and downs of LEO life.

Going into the book I was uncertain what to expect. I don’t think I’d every heard of the author before (my shame). He’s much more than a Sheriff’s Deputy - a humorist of great eloquence and adroitness. Think of stories by Jerry Clower, Ray Stephens, Andy Griffith, maybe Fred Reed; then, think about small town policing. That’s the nature of The Files.

I’ve been in Texas a few times but never trekked into Bugscuffle. It’s the kind of sleepy little town where the darndest things happen, only to be publicly forgotten and thereafter only retold by old men (in boring fashion). Except that, here, LawDog captures the essence of the area, its people, and the demands of law enforcement, melding them out of keen memory and superb wit.

You’ll love this book if: you have ever worked in or around law enforcement; you’re from Texas, the South, or anywhere rural; you fondly remember the “good old days” from a past America, or; if you just like to laugh. Thrill to: an amorous armadillo, a murderous animatronic Santa Claus, a Dick Cheney-style pheasant (quail??) hunt, and perps appropriately referred to as “critters.”

The layout was easy-going (for an ebook) - a straight flow from one funny tale to the next - as well designed as written. I found one drawback, due entirely to the subject matter and exposition. My reading slowed as I “lived out” the files in my head. And that’s as fun a literary problem as one can have.

I loved it! Do yourself a favor and buy The LawDog Files today. Many thanks to LawDog for serving on the thin blue line and then, again, with the fine lines of his pen.

I read this book in Kindle form, and enjoyed every bit of it.
Lawdog is no stranger to writing, but he's non-traditional in his working of the craft. He tells stories, his own stories, and with his own voice.
It shows through, and the reality of his experiences make this book compelling. Compelling, as in I seriously considered pulling over on my ride home from work just so I could read another story of his.

Not only don’t have drinks in hand when reading, also have a box of Kleenex handy. The first few chapters had me in tears I was laughing so hard, then I was in tears over the next one because…well…it’s just very dusty here.
And don’t read this in the evening, or after your dearly beloved has gone to bed…you will wake up folks. Just saying.

Bottom line: Go buy this book!!

I've heard a few of these stories over the years, it's hard to have been on the internet and not heard them. Seeing them in their original form along with all the others was truly wonderful. Lawdog is definitely gifted with the ability to tell funny stories. He also obviously worked with several people who just weren't quite right...

Even a few weeks after reading the book, my wife and I dissolve into helpless laughter at the mere mention of some of these stories: "Remember the hog?" or "What about the Sonic girl -- WHAMM! with the +3 tray of doom". This book is a collection of mostly humorous anecdotes by a rural Texas law officer. The humorous ones are, well, hilarious, and the not-so-humorous ones make you think.

We're looking forward to his next book.

This review was based on a Kindle Unlimited borrow.

I've actually followed LawDog .since the early The Firing Line days. I even member when his mom took over posting for a while because of the truck accident. Having said all that, it should come as no surprise that I've already read most of these stories - but I didn't mind reading them again one little bit. And if you've not read any of them, you are in for a real treat. Most of the stories are humorous. A couple are not. All are of a length to make them ideal for - say for example - bedtime reading.

Since I was a kid I wanted to be a cop but life got in the way. I would like to think that I would have faced such a profession with the good humor and out look that LawDog expresses in this book. The stories are short, well written, educational, and funnier than a monkey on meth.

Reading Lawdog may cause extreme laughter. Consumption of food or drink while reading this is not recommended, as it may lead to choking or spit-takes. If you have heart or lung problems, please consult your doctor before reading Lawdog. If you lack a sense of humour, do not read Lawdog.

This is a great book to have on your phone for when you have just a few minutes to read something enjoyable. As the blurb notes, the stories cover a wide range of emotion, and the author is not afraid to portray his own less-than-dignified moments, as well as sympathize with some of the characters he had to deal with. "Communion" was one story I particularly liked. LawDog has a flair for evocative language and story-telling.

This book is the best and funniest book I have read in a long time. I was enjoying it so much, I read it in one sitting. I just couldn't put it down. I enjoyed this author so much I bought his other book. I will have to find other books written by him. If there are any. If you buy the book I know you will give it five stars too.

I bought the Kindle edition. This is a collection of short stories about life as a small town police officer. You will be rolling on the floor with laughter and shaking your head at just how stupid people can be. And you will read about Dot and see what we want all police officers to be.

Just get it. You won't regret it.

I have the kindle version of this as I could not wait for the hard copy. . . . Love his blog and knew I would love the book. I read it at lunch and I think folks were wondering if I lost my mind laughing as much as I did reading it. LawDog knows how to spin a tail. This is a book of a bunch of short stories, a quick read, and well worth your time.

It is not one coherent story but rather a rambling series of misadventures. The weakest are the prison stories but they are still amusing. The best was the finale of the pink gorilla suit. Almost all of the stories are both heart warming and funny. It leaves a smile on your heart and lips all day.

How annoying that I have to honestly give this book 3 stars. The first 1/3 and the second 1/3 are great! They are solid 4 stars, with a great dip in and dip out ability as each chapter is so short. Lovely little vignettes of well written true life stories of his time as a small town American Policeman. They are worth the price of entry alone.

I laughed out loud at the first part (So much so that my partner asked me not to read the book next to her anymore as I was interrupting whatever she was watching) and the third part made me glad I continued through the middle as the radioactive pink gorilla suit was a memorable tale by a skilled writer. But should a sequel come out I would hope for more of his police days and none of his prison days.

Which brings me to the middle of the book. The middle few chapters were day by day write ups - Actual shift reports - From his time as a prison officer. The actual shift reports that he left for the next team on duty. These reports were well written and as humorous as you could expect given the source material. And don't get me wrong, if I were following him on the next shift I'd look forward to reading them. But as material for a book I didn't feel it worked and it jarred me out of the rhythm the first 1/3 had set for me.

A real shame I couldn't give it an otherwise well earned 4 star review but I'm glad I read it overall. Don't miss the killer chihuahua story!

Like many other reviewers here I've followed LawDog's blog for years crossing several forums and blogs.

This is a collection of stories that have been previously published on those sites. I've read them all multiple times while working midnights as a 'dispatcher for Texas DPS and they always make me laugh.

I'm SO glad to have them in a printed format. THANK YOU LAWDOG for finally getting them published.

I know the area very well having grown up in Texas. Things have and do happen just as he describes.

Great book, great read.

I managed to read some of these when I found LawDog's blog. Glad he finally got them published. Now the waiting begins for the "Africa Adventures" book. I would definitely like to hear more of the adventures of LawDog's faithful minions. There are stories that he tells, and some good advice to be heeded.
Perhaps a podcast might be possible?

A good read! Easy to pick up and put down since it is a series of short stories. The author has a wonderful sense of humor, it is a delightful book, especially for travel or those times when have to read in short spurts! You will be glad you bought a copy!

D. Lawdog has compiled a large number of tales from his time as a law enforcement officer in a little town in the Texas panhandle. From the dealing with various critters to the folks he works with, Mr. Lawdog has a sharp wit that is sure to put a smile on your face.

Some of the funniest shorts you'll ever find in one location. Strongly suggest putting down the coffee while reading to save yourself the pain of blowing it through your nose. Can't wait for the Africa files!

I have family that work in law enforcement. They have many stories too. I laughed out loud throughout this entire book. OMG, I would recommend this to anyone how needs to laugh/smile or just shake your head in wonder.

As a former law enforcement officer, I found Law Dog's stories to be not only funny but right on the money, especially when he talks about the different characters one meets while on the job. I loved it!

So, as someone who has read LawDog's blog from time to time, I was excited to see the post from Larry Correia that this was out. Totally humorous & a fun, quick read. Hopefully there will be a follow-up book 2 with even more stories.

Haven't laughed this much in years! The writing style is easy to read, sometimes the "critter" street language is hard to understand but then you realize; I have actually heard that word. Very nice way to spend an afternoon Thanks