Vol. 1, Awkward Moments Children's Bible

I've gotten my hands on this witty piece of literature that exposes some very awkward chapters and one liners in the bible, such as David bringing twice the amount of foreskins needed to marry. Or Jesus and his missing narrative. Or the rather strange demon pigs. These are either all things readers of the bible have missed - or refused to think about.

Horus's book actually opens up dialogue between readers of the faith and poses interesting questions and encourages a research into the cultural and societal norms of the Jews/Hebrews of the past. It has unfortunately produced people/reviewers who have read it and became outraged over this book - because it doesn't fit their idea of a Good News bible.

In case you missed the disclaimer the first time or second time around: this book is NOT intended for children. The title is satirical in the sense that these aren't things you would tell your children.

If you choose to read this book: I promise you won't regret it. And your mind will stretch and think about the things that are odd to us, in the Bible - and you will search for the answers you need to find, and perhaps in the process develop friendships with the dialogue you make.

The one star reviews all came from people that got the book for free and they really didn't get it, and they apparently aren't very well acquainted with what is actually written on those pages in the Good Book either. I guess the Westboro Baptist Church members should stay off the Internet so they don't wind up getting free gifts like this to complain about.

I found this book extremely well done, and I was giggling aloud while reading it. Anyone that is claiming it is "out of context" really has been obviously relying on someone else to tell them what's in the Bible. Read the book and you'll see, it's a pretty poor moral guide.

The illustrations were clever and I only intended to look a little, I wound up going through the entire book in one sitting.
This is a fun read I'd recommend to anyone (that is not a member of the Westboro Baptist Church).

I pre-ordered the book out of a general feeling of a need to support efforts like this, even though I feared it might be one of the all to familiar negative/mocking/bitter items coming out of the atheist community these days. I was very pleased to find the humor to be of a friendly kind, although with a real bite. Reading it, laughing at the gags basically has you laughing at the Bible, or at least, the so-called literal interpretations of the Bible. It is tasteful even as it is critical, and illuminating as it is entertaining.

I did think to complain that the book was took short, but then it is about the same length as most children's books, so that is all good.

No doubt the authors have plenty of material left to use in future books. A book covering Revelations alone, would make for a great Halloween season book.

My copy is now making the rounds with friends, many of them school teachers who would not dare take it to school with them.

Mike

I've replaced every bible in my house because if the quality and clarity of the message of the good book. In my opinion, this is actually a better book than the good book.
Although, junior has been kicked out of Sunday school.

I enjoy memes and I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Nice, short, sweet, and best of all cartoons. Got to love comic book style. Most of us atheist already know most of these biblical excerpts but it is really nice to see them illustrated as well as some great commentary from an extremely knowledgeable author. Thanks.

This book addresses some of the Biblical stories that have always left readers shaking their heads and thinking, "Whoa. That can't be right. Did that say what I THINK it said?" Yeah, it did. And whether you agreed with it or not didn't matter since it was right there in front of you in black and white.

The title of this book is spot on. This is a collection of Biblical stories that the children are most likely NOT going to hear in Sunday school class. And if they do hear them, odds are the stories have been "watered down" so as not to leave the kiddies squirming in their chairs and/or bursting into years. Most of the illustrations are pretty straight forward, showing exactly what is said in the scriptures, while others take the Biblical scriptures and present them in a more modern context. They are the best example of the "If that were allowed today, then THIS is what you would see" discussion.

The author isn't trying to interpret anything, nor is he attempting to insult or offend anyone. He is merely pointing out the parts of the Bible that others have attempted to whitewash over the years to make them more "made for TV." The illustrations have the scriptures printed right on them so readers can go directly to them in their own Bibles. And the author openly encourages the reader to consider things such as context and the societal "norms" of the time in which the scriptures were written. This book provides a terrific starting point for someone to dig deeper into the ancient cultures to help them understand WHY certain scriptures made perfect sense back when they were written, even if they seem bizarre and confusing today.

The negative reviews of this book appear to come from those who follow the literal interpretation of the Bible and want to believe that the Bible is appropriate for people of all ages at all times and are unwilling to admit that following certain parts of the Bible would land someone in prison today. They are attacking this author because he is shining a light on the scriptures they don't want to talk about because they are unable to put a "polite" spin on them. If you are one of those people who believe that the Bible has no "dark side" or if it does then you're not ALLOWED to discuss it, then this book is not for you. But for those who are comfortable with their Christianity and understand that the Bible is full of stories that require more than a literal "blind faith" to fully understand and appreciate them, then this is a great book. The images are lighthearted enough to make you smile, but the discussions that accompany them make you think. And yes, folks, we ARE allowed to question the Bible. It means we seek wisdom and understanding, which is never a bad thing if we're willing to accept that we may not always like the answers we seek.

The Bible has a lot of stories that are never mentioned at church or "sanitized" to make them more appropriate. The first book I read that addressed this issue was entitled The Harlot by the Side of the Road: Forbidden Tales of the Bible. That book focused on the many horrible stories involving rape, incest, murder, forced mass circumcision, etc. The Awkward Moments Children's Bible addresses the same issue but in a much more light hearted way. Great illustrations and excellent references to the biblical verses so that people can easily look up the verses and check for context to decide for themselves if it really is an "awkward moment".

I laughed out loud at some of the pages in this book. I'm pretty familiar with the Bible overall and the discussions that ensue between those that are religious and those that are not. LOVE the detailed portion in the back for people that are interested in the background. Great way to make someone think...I hope it does! The only thing I would change in the entire book would be the one made up verse. It doesn't need it...there is more than enough material in the Bible to use. Not a big deal though. Nice illustrations. Waiting for Volume Two!

We have a tiny bed&breakfast running at home.

We've put a copy of this one on the bedside table, and so far we have only had tremendously positive reactions from our guests. It's lovely to hear the loud giggles from their room when they find it.

It seems that the world is growing up. Bit by bit. :D

Also, Mr. Gilgamesh is one of the most inspirational, insightful, respectful people on the internet. His comments on the Facebook page (of the same name) are an eternal source of both giggles and deep insights into how to cope with the unfortunate souls that have been messed up by religion.

This book is amazing and I can't wait to share it with my boys... when they're old enough. This book points out some of the things that christianity tries to ignore and then explain. I can see that some would have a hard time translating these off the wall scriptures, but hey; it's their book and they seem to keep sticking to it so why not have it explained with comedy. If we can't laugh at ourselves then what's the point?!!

If it only makes a few people question their belief that the bible is inerrant it will have done a valuable public service. Far too many people in this country are ignorant of even the most basic scientific facts and, because "the bible says so" believe the earth is 6,000 years old and thus evolution can't be true, that heaven and hell are real places and that they can just turn off their minds because all the questions have been answered for them by the bible.

I donated to the billboard campaign and just got my copy today. It's just beautiful to have this Easter (sorry) egg nestled in my bookshelf! The detail behind each panel in the last section is superb.
Highly recommend this piece of art.
Let's get a Vol II soon!

When I received this book in the mail, I was definitely not expecting a "children's" read. I wasn't prepared for the insightful write-ups of each segment in the back. The drawings are hilarious and the scriptures are on point, but the author's dissection of each featured scripture in the back is what makes this book not only worth spending money on, but worth gifting out to others, showing off to friends and family, and having on hand for everyone's favorite door to door visitors. I'm keeping mine on the hallstand for just such an occasion.

I adore this book. I was nodding the entire time I was reading it. It felt like all the reasons I oppose most religions were being recognized by a pair of talented individuals who could lay it out in simpler terms than I.

The direct Bible quotes and the vivid, disturbing illustrations combine to send a clear message to the reader that not everything in the Bible is roses and honey and the promise of an easy afterlife.

If I had my way, everyone would read something of this nature and spend the following hours contemplating whether or not they would like to be affiliated with a religion that condones such violence and hatred.

I have not bought this book, but I have seen most if not all images in it. It is amazing and funny. And for those complaining it doesn't use correct language- it is a children's book (sarcastic). So what if they used the word 'poop' instead of 'dung', it does not change a thing. And people would be surprised that one of the creators behind this is a retired preacher who decided saving people wasn't really saving them. I do plan on buying this book though. It is worth the money.

I think that this should be required reading for any child who is taught that the Bible is the literal word of god. People are given the sugar coated version and this presents those stories in their true light. While it might not be aimed at children, it certainly should be given to them by anyone who wants to show them that there is more than one way to look at these stories. I would give it to my kids and I will have it on my bookshelf.

With so many different versions of the Bible (see below) it can be difficult to know which to follow. And with the education system needing to be slashed to support our blessed troops on their conquest of the Holy Land, it can even be difficult to even read. Here is a comprehensive, easy to understand Bible with pictures. So easy, so simple, even a Southern Baptist in the Kentucky Appalachia can read this Bible.

AMP Amplified Bible (1965)
CEV Contemporary English Version
ESV English Standard Version (2001)
GNT Good News Translation (also Good News Bible)
HCSB Holman Christian Standard Version (2004)
KJV King James Version (1611; significantly revised 1769)
Living Living Bible (1950). Paraphrase by Ken Taylor. Liberal treatment of ‘blood.’
Message The Message by Eugene Peterson (1991-2000s)
NAB New American Bible (Catholic, 1970, 1986 (NT), 1991 (Psalms)
NASB New American Standard Bible (1971; update 1995)
NCV New Century Version
NIV New International Version (1984)
NIrV New International reader’s Version
NJB New Jerusalem Bible (Catholic, 1986; revision of 1966 Jerusalem Bible)
NKJV New King James Version (1982)
NLT1 New Living Translation (1st ed. 1996; 2nd ed. 2004)
NRSV New Revised Standard Version (1989)
RSV Revised Standard Version (1952)
TNIV Today’s New International Version (NT 2001, OT 2005)

Clever, funny, to the point, this book points out a number of the fallacies in the bible. It can offend those who believe the "good book" is full of truths, but for those who think killing a person for working on a Sunday is ridiculous, this is for you.

The great thing about this book is it shows just how evil the Bible really is. It takes many of the passages that have been glossed over for such a long time and shows the immorality of them. Even though it's not meant for children (as the Bible is very evil) this book should be used to get the conversation going to show the God of the Bible is clearly man made and a delusion.

Funny, beautifully drawn and an educational tool to show the immorality and inconsistencies of the Bible.

Well done!

No need to force your children to go to church on Sunday's anymore! The Awkward Moments Children's Bible perfectly illustrates some of our fondest stories directly found in the good book. If you are going to brainwash your children with religion, do it right and buy this book. A lot of hard work went into translating these stories for your children to understand, so return the favor and give it a purchase. Save the money you would normally give every Sunday and spend it here!

A must read for believers and non-believers alike. The Bible is such an important book, beloved by millions, that it MUST be read and understood in its entirety. To be truly faithful and honest to oneself, a believer cannot cherry-pick only the parts they want. This book brings to life those parts that may be uncomfortable to some, but nonetheless is part of the entire Christian God story. In its direct and sometimes humorous, but always unabashed, manner, those parts of the Bible many intentionally or unintentionally miss are brought to life.

i honestly can't wait for vol. 2. i receive updates from their facebook page and nothing disappoints. i bought this book, and yeah it's a quick read but aside from the cute illustrations, it will really make you think. i grew up baptist but have since strayed, and this book only points out some of the reasons i found the christian religion lacking.

All I can say- awesome. Thought-provoking, challenging you to open your eyes about what the the writers of the bible tried to say, implying things- and how people keep forgetting that what the writers were applying to the Romans time, NOT 2014. You certainly don't sell your daughter's virginity, for goats and mules; you wear clothes of varied fabrics nowadays.

AWESOME!

I love the artwork here. I've shown this to all my atheist friends and they just burst out laughing. I've also shown this to a couple of Christians, and one of them also like it a lot. Totally awesome book!!

The Awkward Moments Children's Bible is a refreshing departure from what seems to be the standard method of dealing with the "bad" stuff in the bible. Instead of hiding awkward verses or offering flimsy excuses for atrocities, it draws attention to them with adorable illustrations. This is encouraging because it forces people to think critically about the bible, which is a rare occurrence even among the faithful. Take a look and think about what these parts of the bible mean to you.

If we truly believe the Bible, then we should all be pleased the authors spent their time accurately illustrating the words written there. This illustrated Bible holds back no puches, but depicts the scenes from the Word as they were written.

Marvellous reading.
For every Bible there should be a copy of this.
Sick of people quoting chapter and verse of the bits of the Bible that they like? Hand them this to highlight the not so nice bits (and there are lots) that they would rather pretend did not exist.

...but, considering how much murder and bloodshed is in the original bible, I'd rather have my kid read this book instead. Very thought provoking, as the author artistically address the myths and fairy tales presented in the bible both critically and humorously. Highly recommended.

I was raised Catholic, by a catholic family, went to a catholic nuns' school, in a country that prides itself on being catholic, so i thought i knew all about adam and eve and noah and job and moses and of course jesus, but it turns out the nuns were picking and choosing what the teach us and what to gloss over. This book explores the passages catholics don't know or don't want you to know about. Do yourself a favour and buy this book. Better yet buy copies to give as gifts. Do it now!

Don't get me wrong, it's not just what kids need for every occasion, but when it comes to peddling lies, a truer representation of facts, like the one given in this book, IS what kids need.
They need a balanced view of the bible and this book is offering just that.
I have already read some to my kids and they enjoy it, especially the zombie parts.
Well done guys. I also appreciated the autographed version!

This book was posted mostly on Facebook before it was given a paper form!
It is intelligently written with a comic twist! If you feel it is failing the bible you must have your bible at hand to see its not taking the Big book out of context! As an adult I would show it to my children and get them to understand the history and the teachings that happening in the Christian world! This book also has explanations in the back for further personal study or with a group of friends!

This book is opening up peoples eyes to chapters long neglected. The theist, (Horis Gilgamesh) who is the author of this book must love his bible. And I can see he is creating question that need intelligent conversation!

You must read this book with an open heart and a questioning mind to get the best out of it!

This book is hilarious. anyone buying this thinking it's actually a bible book for children is a moron, it's satire for adults, and it's hilarious. And everything in it IS, in fact, in the bible. Get over it.

I don't know why no one thought of doing this before! This gloriously (or perhaps grotesquely) illustrated book does more to expose and simplify the atrocities of the Old Testament than any apologist could ever do! I can't wait to give my extras out to family and friends, and I eagerly await the next instalments. The authors have in one elegant stroke made the Old Testament literate to the Biblically ignorant, and have given me a reason to want a coffee table, just to display this piece. I am proud of their bravery, and can't express my gratitude enough. Well done! A must buy!

Awkward Moments (Not Found In Your Average) Children's Bible (AMCB) is not only informative AND HILARIOUS, but it performs a much-needed service - it forces the reader to actually THINK about what is in the Bible, a book so many believe is the "word of god". Many will be surprised to learn that the sugar-coated (sometimes radically-altered) Bible stories they hear from their clergymen in church do not even scratch the surface of what is actually in their "holy book". All I wanted after reading AMCB was MORE. So bring on AMCB, VOLUME 2!!!

I have not read this book. I did not even bother to read the summary above as to what this book might be about. However, I am appalled! I am disgusted! I cannot believe this book is even allowed to be listed on the store. I have absolutely no bloody idea what the book says, but I say it should be pulled, no! ripped, from the pages of this website, so disgusted am I. How dare anyone, especially this up-start Horus Gilgamesh (and I am sure that this is actually a witch's name) dare to write, with such grammar and insight, a book which so offends the whole population? 73% of the US is christian. How dare these people so callously oppress the 73% of the country who will be offended simply by the suggestion of what may or may not be in this book? The founding fathers made no suggestion of religion in founding the country - in fact most suggested and stated that religion should be separate to Government and not be a rock upon which it is built - non-the-less I am fairly certain that what they meant was that every single person should pretend to have read the bible and get very upset by books that suggest that we have not. This 20% of the country oppressing the 73% is an outrage.

I recommend that this book be withdrawn. I have never been so offended as when I thought about what may possibly be in this book. I was even more horrified by what I think may not be in this book. I recommend that everyone think about that! We shall not continue to be oppressed. This country was built upon the very fabric of people reading every word in the bible and living their lives in accordance with the parts of the bible that they think are relevant and not taken out of context, or mis-read, or incorrectly translated. I cannot believe that once again there is a book that I think may contain some text that oppresses me, I will not put up with this. I shall continue to talk to an invisible man, and pray that this book is removed. That will teach you, I shall pray that the book is removed.

This book will make you think, will make laugh, but the best part will open your eyes...
In a fun way the author can reach all audiences. I can't wait to share this book with my family and friends.

Such a great idea! I bought three!

I desperately want to give one of these books to my Christian family. So many stories and passages that Christians have always tried to hide or misinterpret are finally illustrated in beautiful, unavoidable honesty. So many exciting stories of death and foreskins that all my old bible story books just didn't show!

It's scary to really research your religion in America. Follow it blindly and Christians applaud you. Question it and be damned. It's a funny way to look deeper into your beliefs and the artwork is wonderful. Way to go! Wish I could give 5 more stars! Now if all those people who bought "train up a child" could read this!

Not only are the quotes factual and enlightening as to what the Bible says, it's made up with truly hilarious artwork!

A perfect buy for any person with an ounce of critical thinking and sense of humor.

Loved every page of it..

It is a brilliant book and I can't wait for more!

My extremely bright and inquisitive 13 year old read this from front to back last night, after which we had a nice discussion of things that are in the bible, and why we choose to not believe in it.
I will be buying more of these for gifts, and am eagerly anticipating the release of Volume 2.
If you haven't already, check out their FB page, it will not disappoint~

I knew about most of these stories in the bible, mostly in my adult years. What is really great about this book is the visualization and perspective of what it could have looked like (if it really happened). It really brings out the strangeness of these myths. This book is a must have. Great entertainment. Thank you Horus Gilgamesh (That name cracks me up: an Egyptian god and Sumerian king). Agnes Tickheathen, the illustrations are awesome. (is this the Agnes of Rome, the virgin martyr?) Your efforts on this publication are appreciated.

An excellent introduction to some of the bible stories that people try to keep from children (and adults, if it comes to that). Definitely a book to give the children and adults so that they can find out what JehovaJesusAllah is really like.

A very interesting and enlightening read; this book highlights some of the passages in the bible that are routinely ignored by apologists and fundamentalists, as well as prompting the reader to think again about some of the less palatable aspects of better known stories, such as Noah (see cover) or Job.

Love love love this book!! They did not half ass this idea at all! I love the illustrations, the scriptures picked, and the games, biographies, extra info via QR codes. Best gift this atheist has ever received.

"Awkward Moments" is a much-needed humorous deconstruction of religion in the same spirit as the hilarious book, "What Do You Do with a Chocolate Jesus? An Irreverent History of Christianity" --which does much the same thing, but with a more adult audience in mind. It cites chapter and verse the harrowing ideas and verses in the Bible, and finds laugh-out-loud humor in all the insanity found therein. They are companion books and everyone should read them. Smartly done!

My only real complaint about this book is that it is too short. I'm looking forward to the next installment. The illustrations are very well done and the stories selected do a good job of shining the light of good sense and morality on the dark corners of the bible.

Absolutely brilliant, great illustration, amusing but also very informative, My husband and I laughed and scoffed our way through it and will use it to stomp on any silly things that my son's school tell him regarding the bible! Can't wait for the second volume! :)

This is the best version of the bible I have ever seen and it inspires me to to spread it's good news with the world. I would never have imagined that a bible could make an unbeliever want to share the bible with the world.

Satire at its finest. The book takes some of our most beloved Bible stories, sucks out the warm fuzzies, inserts the floaters, and makes us laugh. And think. And laugh some more. Enjoyed by atheist friends and pastor friends equally.

This book is brilliant. These are real verses from scripture, not altered. I was raised in an evangelical Christian home where the entire Bible was taught and taken literally, except for the tough verses that were difficult to explain. Many extreme fundamentalists will struggle with this book and curse it. However, these verses, these stories are in there. There isn't anything disrespectful in this publication. Well done!!

Incredible book! I'm a huge fan of the illustrations and stories in the book. What I can appreciate about the author is that they simply present the stories in the bible and provide the illustrations, allowing the reader to make their own conclusions. I would like to see this develop into a series!

Awkward Moments not only provides laugh out loud entertainment, but educates in the process. It is not a condemnation of religion, merely an educational tool to point out what is written in "THE BOOK". Kudos to Gilgamesh and Tickheathen for bringing this subject to the masses in such a simple and entertaining fashion. And a big thumbs up for the fact check pages at the back of the book, providing the doubters with all the needed information right from the horses ass.

Fantastic, honest look at the bible. Why do Christians not own up to the crazy stories in their favorite book? We will be adding this to our family discussions about the absurd things people believe and how it effects what is happening in the world. I can't wait for Volume 2!

This book takes some of the more graphic and despicable biblical passages and uses humour to make them stand out as the dubious pieces of moral teaching that they are.

Several of the negative reviews here are complaining that the author doesn't give context to these passages, but that's the point. There is no context in which rape, slavery or genocide are permissible. If you think there is then I think your moral compass might be a little skewed!

Just accept that the bible isn't perfect and it's legitimate to satirise that.

BAM! Nothing drives home the truth like humour. Horus and Agnes make us think by highlighting the absurdity of biblical mythology - and the absurdity of those of us who believe(d) it - in fine, fun style. Stories we know well sit beside those we've never been told, and shine an embarrassing light on our ignorance. OUCH!

Anyone who is dumb enough not to read the description deserves what they get: bible lessons you didn't learn in Sunday School. This book teaches the not so pretty parts of the bible, you know, the book that die-hard Christians take literally? The book that has talking snakes, unicorns, genocide, slavery, rape, misogyny, and more. Read this and think about what you believe.

My husband got me this for Christmas and I love it. I had heard most of these stories growing up, but it went in one ear and out the other. Seeing it illistrated like this really makes you think. The only thing is I wished it was longer. There are a lot of other scriptures that people like to brush under the rug that need to be brought to the light of day. Keep up the good work, I hope to see more from you in the future.

I was excited when this project was announced, couldn't wait for my pre-ordered copy to arrive and now that it has, I couldn't be more thrilled. This small book is probably one of the most entertaining and useful pieces of counter-apologetics I've seen.
You MUST buy a copy.

This is an amazing book that allows skeptical minds, both adults and children, to analyze and discern fact and fiction. If it offends you as a Christian, then you are offended by your book. It's quoted mostly from the bible with comical illustrations to aid those who need visual information to process. 5 stars!

Excellent! It's amazing how many Christians don't even read their Bible...or even if they do, do not realize these horrible stories are in their holy book. Also amazing how many Christians get so angry that their peaceful, loving God is actually a big, homicidal, genocidal jerk.

I am a huge fan of the Facebook group. So I have seen much of what's in the book, the authors are thoughtful and very observational when selecting passages and stories to depict. A very eye opening experience for anyone interested in the true meaning of the bible and that it's not quite "the good book" it's made out to be.

Wow, a quick and succinct look at stories from the bible that some people would rather ignore, or have never been told about. If you are offended by this book you either haven't read the bible or need to re-evaluate whether it really is a 'good' book. Love the illustrations a beautifully presented book, can't wait for volume 2!!!!

My family thoroughly enjoyed this book! We are really looking forward to the second (and more!) issue. This book should be a 'must' to be sold with that ever popular, yet rarely read book - the bible. It shines a light on what really happens in the bible - the parts usually skipped over by those who worship it. Keep up the good work, Horus et al!

While the illustrations may be cartoonish and childlike the material covered is anything but. A short and poignant analysis of some closely held beliefs by the populace, and some forgotten nuggets that make the reasonable mind stop in its tracks and wonder "do some people actually believe this?" I shared this book with my friends, neighbors and children. I can't wait for the second volume!

This is really a funny book - not for young children or fundamentalists, though! ;-)
The illustrations are great and the content points out some of the flaws with regarding the Bible as anything other than the collection of amoral, bronze-age fables that it is. A great read!

a beautiful and surprisingly 100% accurate portrayal of Bible stories. That is the funny thing - cherry-picked for sure. But ONE HUNDRED PERCENT FROM THE BIBLE AND ONE HUNDRED PERCENT ACTUAL CHRISTIAN DOGMA.

This book is wonderful. There's a bunch of uneducated christians (likely baptist, the bottom feeders of christianity) who will be too shut off from the real world, and not understand the messages being conveyed. Keep up the good work!

As the title of this review says, this book is NOT for Conservatives! However, if you are capable of critical thinking and want some great laughs based on the hypocrisy that is the bible, you need to buy this.

a beautiful and surprisingly 100% accurate portrayal of Bible stories. That is the funny thing - cherry-picked for sure. But ONE HUNDRED PERCENT FROM THE BIBLE AND ONE HUNDRED PERCENT ACTUAL CHRISTIAN DOGMA.

This book is wonderful. There's a bunch of uneducated christians (likely baptist, the bottom feeders of christianity) who will be too shut off from the real world, and not understand the messages being conveyed. Keep up the good work!

As the title of this review says, this book is NOT for Conservatives! However, if you are capable of critical thinking and want some great laughs based on the hypocrisy that is the bible, you need to buy this.

This book was nothing short if entertaining, looking at the bible from an amusing viewpoint, using contemporary humour to show the many awkward moments in the bible... those moments when you skirt rather than answer a child's question.

I loved it an urge anyone with who has the slightest sense of humour to buy it immediately!!!!

P.S. It doesn't work on an iPad yet but they have promised it's coming, it's worth the wait.

A wonderfully educational book. Beautifully illustrated and fact based. I bought this for a friend's Christmas present and I'm absolutely positive they'll love it as much as I did. So well thought out and wonderfully presented. A worthy present for any person!!!!

The greatest thing I have seen in a LONG time. Horus and Agnes are brilliant for writing this book.
Now I'm just waiting for the sequel!

By the way, thanks for the signed copy option on your site!!!!!

There seems to be more truth about the Bible here in this little book than in any other Bible commentary. The only problem I see, so far, is that it's not yet available for iPad. When is that going to happen?

After a life time of being told how to view these stories, this book has shone a different light on them. It really makes you stop and think about what these biblical stories really portray. Good job.

This book is a hilarious version of the Bible with cool pictures. To bad the guy in the sky wasn't creative enough to have color printers and Photoshop back in the day. The Bible would have been like this book and would have been a more entertaining fiction than what it is now.

I love this book. Horus Gilgamesh has skilfully picked out and paraphrased some of the most absurd or horrific stories in the Bible, and the illustrations by Agnes Tickheathen are wonderful. I look forward eagerly to the publication of Volume 2.

This is an amazing book that really shows the true colors of a God who personal commands rape and murder not to mention drowning all of humanity except for a 600 year old man and his family. Keep up the good work gents!

Almost everyone agrees on the sensible social caring stuff in the Bible. The nice bits like 'Love thy neighbour' and so on.

We shouldn't allow our sinful nature and flawed human perspective to let us cherry-pick our favourite words from this culturally relevant book, though. The AMCB shows us some other verses from the Good Book and provides witty and thoughtful illustration, both in picture, and commentary on their relevance and context.

Genuinely inspiring.

I love how this book takes an honest look at biblical stories and brings to light their craziness with funny illustrations. I recommend buying one for all your cherry picking friends and family members.

If you're looking for a Christmas present for your Christian or Atheist friends then this is it. It will make your atheist friends giggle with glee and your Christian friends squirm with indignation (if they ever read it). It will certainly get them thinking about what's actually in their holy book that most of them are so ignorant about

This book does nothing tier than factually represent the content of the Bible, and Christians (who themselves are seemingly unfamiliar with the Bible) are outraged. Case in point, they need to read their Bibles more. It's not the author of this book they hate, it's the Bible's very own content.

This book is very impressively illustrated and unlike what some others have posted, it does bring to light the awkward moments in the bible, such as some guy killing children with some bears because the children made fun of the bald man. Or the fact that the bible promotes slavery, speaks about real live unicorns existing, and the contradictions about sky daddy's son's crucifixion. If you are curious about all the ficked up stuff in the bible on a humorous level I definitely recommend this book. Great job guys!

I am dissapoint. If my memory serves me correctly - I remember seeing them advertise that there'd be 90 illustrations in the book. This meant I'd see countless illustrations that I had not seen on their facebook page. Unfortunately - there are only 31 in the tiny book - that includes 1 "fake scripture" (Horus 3:92-94) which was incredibly awkward and out of place. The fake scripture goes something like this: "An old man had cancer. Jesus came down and cured it. He gave him a puppy, made him young again, and gave him cotton candy. ~Horus 3:92-93" How weird, pointless, and awkward to plop that fake scripture in the book. He's usually very funny but I didn't like seeing that because 1) it was weird, pointless, unfunny, and out of place and 2) if a Christian does read the book they are going to think that illustration is completely retarded.

There were 1 or 2 illustrations that were not on the FB page. The quality of the book is pretty bad (much better quality on their FB page). The "games" at the end were unnecessary.

If I were them instead of making all these short volume books for $15 a pop that you can literally read through in less than 5 minutes...I'd make a hardcover book with at least 100 illustrations - in high quality paper. And I'd price it higher (around $40).

I do like the illustrations and they are very funny. I think I might buy 1 or two more and burn them!!!

The author of this book withdrew the release of his "Awkward Moments Children's Koran". He knew he would be targeted for death if he published a book criticizing Islam. How come he wasn't afraid to criticize the Bible? Could he be a coward?

Some of the illustrations were humorous and interesting. I wish there would have been less out-of-context interpretations of the Scriptures. Obviously not for children (duh!), and - at the very least - thought provoking. Context means everything, and not much seems to be used here.

I always wonder why atheist didactics only go after Christianity. I guess its because they know Christians will not respond gently. No heads cut off, no mass murders. I wait for upcoming books from the courageous authors ridiculing the world's other great religions. Anybody want to bet that happens? Anybody?

I got Vol. 2 and it's great, This only gets one star because it is incompatible with the Kindle App on my iPad. I really don't understand why Vol. 1 won't work but Vol 2. will... the store you need to get your act together!

THIS IS A GHASTLY BOOK. ALTHOUGH IT IS MOSTLY TRUE TO THE BIBLE, AND I AM NOT RELIGIOUS, I NEVER LOOKED AT THE BIBLE LIKE THIS. I HAVE ALWAYS QUESTIONED THE BIBLE, AND NOW I THINK IT WAS WRITTEN BY PERVERTS. NO LOVING GOD WOULD NEED THIS STUFF.

This is a Horrible piece of work. I encourage everyone who has already bought a copy of this work to do some checking against the real words used in the King James or better yet...the New Kings James translations of the Bible. That is all you have to do to see just how far from Truth this is. It is very mis-leading.

If you have not already bought a copy, I do not recommend.

Not what I was expecting. I thought it would be funny. It started off as so- but then went way over the top. I can handle politically incorrect- but it was way more than I expected. Clearly was written by an atheist on a mission. I feel bad that I contributed to his cause by purchasing it.

Content-wise, this is intriguing. The author uses just "scripture," (the version employed is technically an interpretation, not a translation), but out of context so-as to provide humor. Think of it like Stephen Colbert... massively twisting context so be funny at the expense of the actual view being criticized.

For example: He quotes a passage on slavery and shows a picture of racism-based slavery, when any high school research project would uncover that in its cultural context, "doulas" (slave) is better rendered as "indentured servant," one who is temporarily in servanthood, is supposed to be well-treated, and is usually even more educated than the master. He takes a very convenient interpretation, and implies that it's meaning is related to something offensive.

On the positive side, the twisting is rather clever. He did an excellent job finding key passages to subvert, and if he were not serious (as his explanations indicate), it would actually be somewhat humorous in some places. The artwork also lends itself well to the subject matter.

One caveat-- some pictures (Noah) actually are quite clever. Some of these are easier to twist-- while I believe they are flat out incorrect-- totally ignoring context-- some are less egregious than others.

5 stars for creativity.
1 star for relying on both historical and theological dishonesty for humor.

Got this free, thanks.... But it is really not properly formatted for kindle and was extremely difficult to read, and I deleted it.

What I did get to see of the actual content I did enjoy.

I would like to read more of this, if they can get the kindle format working properly.

As a "Hopeful Atheist", I bought this book based solely on the premise that it looked like it would be good for a few laughs.
I knew it would be short --it ended up being even shorter than anticipated-- but I figured it would be a great addition to the 'ole coffee table.

The genius of the idea-- pointing out some of the most ridiculous and unbelievable passages in the Bible into a "children's book"-- could have been much better served.

"Dumbing down" the language to appeal to a modern audience definitely took away from any attempt at humor and sarcasm. Part of the joke is the very serious nature that these passages were originally written in. By turning the presentation into a joke, you lose the joke itself completely.

The illustrations were cute, but nothing that would make even a Taliban Evangelical Christian blush.

Instead of getting a prized place on my coffee table (along with Hitchens and Dawkins), this will quickly get stashed on a shelf in my bookcase, and probably never looked at again.

Great idea, but amateur writing... and barely worth a "Haha!"

The first time I lost money on an the store purchase in a LONG time....

This is a thin paperback and for the price I was expecting more (more content or hardcover) I thought I could have done a better job writing this book. I am not a writer so that is not a complement. Not worth the money.

This is clearly marketed as a children's Bible by the artwork on the cover, but it is NOT a children's Bible. Do NOT buy this expecting to share any part of it with your children. Or with anyone else for that matter if you are a Christian.

This book is highly inflammatory. The author misquotes scripture and delights in being irreverent.

There is no point in even attempting to explain why or where the errors are: anyone who goes to this much trouble to be irreverent clearly doesn't care. "Don't confuse me with the facts: I've already made up my mind."

The artwork is good. Too bad that talent couldn't have been poured into an actual children's Bible that would have helped them learn God's word while bringing Him glory. Such a waste!

I thought this book would contain some of the details of Bible stories that are left out of children's Bibles or not told in Sunday school. However, the author has instead either taken verses completely out of context to mock them, or embellished the text from a less-than-accurate Bible paraphrase to make it sound ridiculous, when it would otherwise have a reasonable explanation in its immediate literary context, historical context, or in light of the big picture of the Bible's storyline. A few of the "stories" are legitimately funny, or highlight some of the apparent absurdities of the Christian faith (resurrection of the dead, or "eating Christ's flesh" in Communion, for example). The rest are just dishonest portrayals of hard-to-understand Biblical passages, meant to mock the Bible unnecessarily.

I'm also giving this one star because the formatting for Kindle is TERRIBLE! The book is only available on actual Kindles, but the text is microscopic and you cannot zoom in to read any of it.

The Author clearly is a worldview kleptomaniac stealing with a Biblical worldview in order to argue Morals.
Atheists have no sound foundation for any absolute morals. In order to argue or claim immorality they must leave their Atheistic worldview and stand on a Biblical worldview to do so. We call these unstable people " worldview kleptomaniacs"

The Bible is a record of many things both good and bad. Just as a News paper might have stories of crime, rape, and death, so does the Bible. Does that make the New paper writers evil people? Of course not. This is a sophomoric book written by an angry and uneducated Atheist with a hole to dig.
If the author actually had any understanding of exegesis they would realize just how foolish they have made themselves look in front of the world.

Why can't I get this into my Kindle Cloud? I'm holding off purchase until I can understand why the Cloud is blocked. I've read bits and pieces of Awkward moments and, on content, I'm sure I'll agree with the 5 star rating of other viewers -- as soon as I can get it into the Cloud so I can download it as I choose.

Why doesn't this author use his real name? Both Horus and Gilgamesh are the names of Nimrod who was the great grandson of Noah. Nimrod and his wife/mother Semiramis (also known as Ishta and Isis) were the creators of baal worship otherwise known as sun worship. These two people (who were not gods, but dictators) went against the real Creator "GOD" and deceived their people into believing their happiness came from the sun. When the tyrant Nimrod was killed and dismembered, Semiramis told the people he resurrected into the sun and was therefore now a god. Semiramis gathered Nimrod's parts but couldn't find one piece, his phallus (aka obelisk, aka sun ray). again fooled the people into believing their son (??) Tammuz who was supernaturally conceived after Nimrod's death and that Nimrod was reborn as the savior. Therefore, the father is the son and Semiramis is the queen of heaven and here you have the trinity. Under sun worship many unimaginable practices and perversions were practiced, including child sacrifices. Sun worship is still practiced today and people are still being fooled into thinking they are worshiping the Real God but in reality they are financially supporting the sun worship system. Look for the symbol of the sun (circle, halo behind the head, sun rays) and obelisks in your religion, community and in the world. There are many other symbols that have been taken from Nimrod/Semiramis' time and are being used today. Do your research before you spend your hard earned money enriching other people's deceptive, foolish activities.

Absolute Crap. I wish I had my $14 back. The description said it uses actual bible verses so I expected the author to be able to find enough ridiculous material in the bible without adding in puppies, unicorns, cotton candy and made up disciple dialog. Instead of saying it uses actual bible versus it should have said it was loosely based on bible verses.

A word of caution to those considering buying this book. If you decide to put value in the 300 plus non verified purchasers who gave the book five stars and buy this book and then decide you don't like it - think twice before giving it a negative review. Take a look at the comments under each of the negative reviews. The reviewers are insulted, their reviews belittled and they are called names. I was called a brainless uninformed tit and worse. I wouldn't be surprised if there weren't at one time more negative reviews that were deleted when the reviewers decided it wasn't worth the trouble to take abuse over a book review.

This SHOULD NOT be labeled as a children's bible. It is obviously meant to mock the bible, but the title and ratings are misleading. Be careful before reading or allowing your children to view. This should really have a better description and a warning.

It will NOT work on iPad's, iPhone's, Mac's, or anything other than *actual* kindle devices and (oddly) Kindle for Android.

The author needs to get his head out of his butt and make it available on the most popular mobile platform in the world. iOS.

I have to admit that I love the premise of what the book's title and cover seemed to promise: An amusing look at the less understood stories and goings-on in the Bible. My hope was for a book that could use humor to help people understand these stories better. It was because of the title and cover art that I picked this book up during the free giveaway without reading the description or reviews.

When I opened the book on my kindle reader, I found the first illustration with Adam laying in the ice-filled tub recovering from his stolen rib to be an amusing play on the urban legend about stolen kidneys. It brought a grin to my face, but the second illustration about the serpent wasn't funny, so much as trying to make a point about Bible stories that might not mention that it was a serpent in the garden with Eve. Again, I found the third illustration with the Ark to be slightly amusing in a morbid sort of way, but quite off-putting because of the lack of context. Finally, the fourth illustration was so entirely misinformed and it was so obvious that the author didn't care, that it finally dawned on me that this wasn't about humor at all. This was a hit piece wrapped in a cloak of lame and crude humor, using the layman's ignorance of the scriptures in an attempt to undermine the credibility of the Bible.

Things only got worse from there with risque and sacrilegious illustrations and "jokes" that no true Bible believer would find amusing. It was quite disturbing to see the author making "jokes" of serious issues like rape, slavery, mistreating women, and even murder and purporting that the Bible promoted these acts.

Looking back at the book's description, I now have a better idea of where the author is coming from and his motives for the book. I guess I can't expect him to really provide the proper explanations or context because it would ruin the fantasy "jokes".

I don't like to give negative reviews, but I had no trouble whatsoever deciding on the rating for this book. As the the store rating system indicates: "I hate it"

I can't recommend this book to anyone. It offers up small, twisted snippets of partial information without context, that only serve to confuse and misinform.

Atheists, if you want a nice collection of intellectually-dishonest, straw-man snippets to ridicule without thought instead of considering the real issues, go ahead and waste your money on this book.

Bible believers, if you want your blood to boil as you see the Bible taken out of context and twisted to construe you as a person that supports rape, murder, slavery, etc., you can do the same.

There is so much one could say about The Awkward Moments Children's Bible, that a review on the store.com cannot begin to be comprehensive. Also, argumentation is frequently not helpful, especially in an anonymous internet setting. That said, I love God and the Bible, and feel moved to say a few things for those who might have been disheartened by this presentation of God's word and might be scrolling through the one-star reviews looking for some encouragement.

First of all, there are verses in the Bible that are not easy to understand. This comes as no surprise to a serious Christian, and every verse that Mr. Gilgamesh has published in his work has been considered carefully by students of the Bible for centuries. In several instances, all that is needed for understanding is the greater context: of the Bible narrative itself; of the religious, cultural and historical context of the original incident the narrative captures; and of the religious, cultural and historical context in which the narrative was written.

An example of a collection of verses rendered intelligible in this way is those having to do with Jesus cursing the fig tree. Taken out of context, Jesus' action may seem odd, but a little understanding renders this moment not only clear but spiritually enriching. Within the agricultural setting of Jewish life, God had long used metaphors of the fruitfulness and barrenness of various crops to refer to the fruitfulness or barrenness of the souls of His people. A fruitful heart is grafted onto the living vine of God Himself and bears peace and love. A barren heart is cut off from God and bears turmoil and unkindness. God knows, as we humans know, that it is possible for a person to appear fruitful on the outside but to fail to bear fruit on the inside: I might present myself as loving but have a heart of bitterness toward others. Much of Jesus' teaching has to do with this inner disposition of man (see His Sermon on the Mount: "But I say to you if you hate a man in your heart, then you have already murdered him.").

In the case of the fig tree, it was full of leaves, as we learn from the Gospel narrative, and yet bore no fruit. According to students of Palestinian flora, many varieties of fig trees will show the beginning buds of fruit before fully leafing out, and a tree that has come into its full leaves and has no budding fruit will be barren all season. The tree that Jesus saw to be full of leaves from a distance revealed itself to be without any young fruit when He and the disciples saw it up close: thus, if it was the kind of fig tree that begins bearing fruit before leafing out, it revealed itself as a tree that would be barren all season. A lesson here is that an appearance of health on the outside can belie a reality of death on the inside. Jesus' action toward the fig tree is meant to bring this lesson home.

Throughout God's interactions with the Israelites, He used signs in nature to confirm a lesson (the budding of Aaron's rod, the flowing of water from a rock in the wilderness, etc), and in this case, the sign was Jesus' withering of the fig tree: Jesus showed that despite the fig tree's full coat of leaves, it was an empty tree on the inside.

As with all of Jesus' actions, this one was beautifully timed, as He and His disciples moved on from the barren fig tree to the temple, where he turned over the tables of the money changers and chastised the temple leaders for turning His Father's house of prayer into a den of thieves. Jesus spoke throughout His ministry of the great contrast between the pious appearance of the temple leadership and their barren hearts. The barren fig tree was a symbol of the personal emptiness of the Jewish religious leaders of Jesus' time. The withering of the fig tree showed that such inner emptiness ultimately leads to death, no matter how pretty the leaves (or fancy clothing, in the case of the Jewish priests) look on the outside.

Of course, one can question this reading of the incident of the fig tree, and other interpretations are possible. But an interpretation that makes no sense in the greater context of Jesus' ministry as recorded in the Gospels is that He simply zapped the fig tree in a moment of petulant irritation.

All the verses Mr. Gilgamesh has lifted out of context can be illumined by open-minded study, though some are admittedly more difficult than others. Indeed, Mr. Gilgamesh states on the back cover of his work that his aim is to encourage Biblical literacy. Truthfully, I wonder if Mr. Gilgamesh's statement is disingenuous. In his work (I can hardly call it a Bible), verses are lifted completely out of context, rendered in paraphrased translation that is sometimes misleading, and coupled with mocking drawings that consistently present situations as ridiculous and/or macabre, and God the Father and Jesus as capricious, angry, unstable and deluded. A likely result is that some readers will come away from Mr. Gilgamesh's work thinking that the Bible is an absurd text that they would do well to avoid. As one of the work's five-star reviewers has written, "We've shown it to a few people and had a couple of comments along the lines of "Wow - the Bible's just so wrong" from people who have been teetering on the verge of taking the Bible as something other than what it is - a poorly cobbled together work of fictional short stories."

Finally, I would like to say that I myself have been hurt in the context of Christianity, not by God, but within the Church. I understand being confused by this hurt and finding relief in making jokes about it, to dispel the tension and to tell myself that I could go on with my life and leave behind the thing that hurt me without giving it any more serious thought. But I found the relief of an absurd, mocking treatment of Christianity to be short-lived. After the laughs were over, I still had the same questions I had before: How did this awesome universe come into being? Where did I come from and where am I going? Will my death be the end of my life? How can I find lasting peace and joy? Who was this Jesus of Nazareth who affected the world more powerfully and positively than any other human that has ever lived? When I returned to Christianity--while being a student of world religions and philosophy in college and post-graduate study--I found that it answered in a deeply consoling, deeply meaningful, and deeply reasonable way all of my questions. That was thirteen years ago, and I have only continued to be uplifted by the profound beauty and wisdom of God's revelation in the Christian faith.

I hope that others who are searching will understand that the capricious, absurd God presented in Mr. Gilgamesh's work is not at all representative of the life-giving, loving God of the Christian faith. And I hope that Mr. Gilgamesh and Ms. Tickheathen will find the peace they seem to be seeking.

All this is, is Scriptures taken out of contest to sound perverse and mock The Bible as a whole.
I find it hard to believe there's a market for a book like this. Who would want to buy this?
It isn't funny! I can't imagine the children of those who mock Christianity finding this twisted book entertaining.
Instead, go buy a book that explains the Bible and not something like this which degrades the Bible for the sake of Mockery!

I thought this would be funny, and it was for a few parts and then I started noticing something completely uneducated and wrong. What might that be? The author of the book straight up changes what scripture actually says and twists it to say what he wants it to say. If you actually reference the verses mentioned, you'll see that many of them are just a flat out lie and actually contains very little if any of the actual passages.

Additionally, the author fails to understand how one interprets written text to begin with (hermeneutics). He failed to seek and understand what the authors original intent was. We see this in poor news reporting where the reporter takes things way out of contexts or twists the words to get a rise out of people and hit their ratings goals. The truth is, there are different ways people can present things and there are cultural understandings of that (ie. sarcasm, hyperbole, etc.)

A person who seeks to make educated arguments, critically think, and truly seeks for the validity of something would have done something. Instead of seeing that work in this book, we get a mindless atheistic sheep that is brainwashed by the culture he comes from. The irony is that he uses the same insults and jokes towards Christians and is too blind to realize he's the joke.

If I could possibly give this NO star's, I would. Frankly, this is vile. This needs to have a warning label on it for parents. I have never in my life seen such utter nonsense and perversion in print aimed at children. Frankly, I am absolutely ashamed at the store.com for having this in their library. This violates the scriptures. This is a perversion of text. This is a primer to promote the LGBT agenda and frankly needs to be pulled out of the library OR this needs to have Warning Labels to parents who may somehow innocently order this.

Atrocious! Blasphemous! Pull this or reclassify it as adult. I wonder if this would violate any child protection laws in any state?