I Love You Rituals

The first three chapters alone are well worth the price. Dive in with an open mind. I usual wince when authors are out to save the world (the last statement in Chapter 1 is "The healing of ourselves, of each other, of our children, and of society begins one bond at a time.") but I put that aside and really was moved by the view the author gives.

I put "Noticing" (pg 31) to the test immediately, and was amazed at the reaction from my 2 year-old (a recent adoptive placement) as well as a young playmate in the park (his dad was busy chatting on his cell phone). Using her technique defintely brought a more relaxed and joyful response than "yeah, great!" and the other examples she gives of typical parent responses.

That said, I haven't made much use of the rituals. Most are beyond the needs of my toddler, and I haven't found one I was willing to try with my 11 year-old.

Bought this book upon the recommendation of a friend who said it worked in her house with her four-year-old.

I liked the beginning of the book and the general concept, but when we tried these methods on our kids, things didn't really change in our household.

We tried the "1-2-3 Magic" book too. The beginning of both books are fairly similar (explaining that kids are not "little adults" and we need to find a solution to the frustration and anger we are feeling), but our kids seem to be responding much better to the 1-2-3 methods. Plus, it has eliminated some of the "tantrums" we pull as adults.

I have started incorporating some of the methods in this book (e.g. - my daughter and I have a wake-up ritual that is predictable to her and puts her in a good mood for getting dressed) - so it was helpful, just not the same "magic formula" my friend said had worked for her.

I was very disappointed in this book. It is mostly a rewrite of classic nursery rhymes making them more G rated I suppose. I happen to like the old nursery rhymes and I loved them as a kid. I can cuddle up in a rocking chair with my child and read him books and nursery rhymes, sing him songs and play and wrestle with him and I've accomplished all this book does at no cost. Sorry, this one was just lame.

is something I hear just about every day. My six and three year old love - absolutely love - the finger plays and songs from this book. The negative, frightening themes from nursery rhymes are removed and replaced with loving positive words and images.

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe becomes:

There was a wonderful woman who lived in a shoe

She had so many children she knew exactly what to do

She fed them and hugged them and tucked them in bed

I love you, I love you is what she said.

that's just one short snip of a book chock full of ideas surrounding saying goodbye, reconnecting when picking up (after school, playdates, overnights etc). There are little rituals for birthdays, bedtimes, transitional times (think new baby).

I just can't say enough positive things about this book. When my kids are or I am in a funk and we're both being oppositional, this reconnects us. Connected people *want* to cooperate. Connected people *want* to be a part of the family. Connected people *want* to help. It just can turn things around for us in an instant.

while this was the first Becky Baily item I bought, she's since become my favorite parenting author. I found _Easy to Love, Dificult to Discipline_ a bit of a bore to read (and I can usually slog through anything), so I bought all 11 of her CD's (her lectures on CD) from beckybailey.com They've been nothing short of incredible.

oh, and I strongly disagree with the person who mentioned that 'it's too specific' and only for families who foster or adopt. I really can't imagine why it would only be for those situations. It would work for anyone: parent of bio children, adopted children, foster children....teachers and theirstudents.. ...grandparents.. ...babysitters. anyone who wants to help kids feel connected and loved.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this book! I highly recommend it for any parent, care giver, or anyone who is around children. This book works like magic on my kids and my friends children that I have loaned this book too. When my kids are acting up and need a little extra attention and love, these finger games work perfectly to calm them down and put a smile on their face. Obviously my kids know I love them, and they mean EVERYTHING to me, but I really like how this book helps me show them even more ways to convey my love for them that is perfect for kids psyche. I also love how it changes some of the old nursery rhymes that are really not great if you listen to the words and message behind them, to positive uplifting ones, like "the Old Lady Who Lived In a Shoe" who whips her children and doesn't know what to do with them all, to a wonderful women who knows exactly what to do and loves her children dearly.

Great rituals to add into your everyday life. I am a mother of two boys; 4 year old and a 10 month old. It seems that passed the age of three my little man no longer wanted to just cuddle. He is more interested in playing. This book has given me ways to sneak in important cuddle times with him without even knowing it. He thinks we are simply playing but these rituals are bringing a deeper love into our days.

The little rhymes in this book are really engaging. I've been using them with my son who has been feeling neglected even since my 4 month old came home from the hospital. He loves it. I made a little book with the rhymes to help me remember them and he asks me to read them over and over. I enjoyed the book because there's a lot of positive and helpful information on parenting, the importance of these little rituals and suggestions on when to use them which has been really helpful for me.

I just purchased this book after having been recommended it by a leading expert on kids with attachment/severe trauma problems. It is wonderful, easy to read and makes much sense from a clinician's and parent's perspective.
I recommend it to all with young children, it is full of nurturing and fun activities with full explanations and rationale. Certainly a must buy for any adoptive/foster parent to increase trust, attachment, and bonding.
Kandice J.

I totally agree with Shelley--the explanation of "noticing" alone was totally huge for me and my 16-month old. It makes so much sense and has given us some of our most precious moments together--already. I think this will be a great strategy for us as she grows into a teenager. As part of noticing, I use imitating a lot--doing what my toddler does to show that I'm watching and what she does is important to me. She loves this and laughs and laughs. It makes her feel very important. I am a little intimidated by the finger plays, etc., but I'm sure I'll try them when my daughter is a little older.

Fantastic book! The author definitely knows what she it talking about. We have got to find a way to make the few hours a day that we have with our kids into something meaningful. You can create true bonding time with your little one.

I was disappointed in this book. It is geared more toward adoptive and foster care families rather than others who are looking for some fun ideas to share with their family. I only got one or two workable ideas out of this book. For people looking for simple fun things to do everyday and on special days, I would definitely suggest instead "The Book of New Family Traditions" by Meg Cox. That book has a lot wonderful ideas about celebrating milestones and theme nights and funny things to do and serious things too.