How to Discover What You Really Want and How to Get It

Too good and too practical book! It addresses every possible issues, one may face, and address them very well, providing the most practical solutions/guidelines!

Must read for anybody who thinks, they are not achieving at par with their capabilities, more so, because of confusion about what to choose, what really interests and like.

Barbara Sher is a gifted therapist, one not centred in her own her own ego, but a true helper. This book has so much in it that it's worth keeping at hand and reading several times. She presents many worthwhile activities to help the reader find a true vocation at any point in life.

A great book for people looking to make big changes in their lives and remover blocks to living a more dynamic, abundant life. The exercises are set up to make one take a good look at what's been not working in life, why it's not working then possible solutions to bring about a shift, for one to start doing what he/she really wants to do in life. I am recommending this book to friends!

Well intentioned and kind of a pep talk for losers like me who go through life not knowing what the hell they were put on the planet to do. Unfortunately, this book didn't get me any closer to that answer and I got bore half way through. Sorry. :(

This book is no different than the generic self help books one is trying to stay away from. I read 120 pages and that's precious time that I will never get back. I gave it a fair shot and I also worked on the "self help activities" it suggested. It was ridiculous. I deleted it from my kindle. Do yourself a favor and find another book.

I was skeptical to read this book, knowing it was published in 1994 - almost 20 years ago. However, the mix of interesting exercises an the balance between looking back and looking forward made me read the whole book.

What I liked:
- The author stated 2 goals for the book - looking at the inner critics and learning how to deal with them - and she kept her focus on those goals.
- Different chapters were aimed to a different kind of inner critic (from "I like too many things" to "I don't seem to like anything"), which allowed me find parts relevant to me pretty fast.
- Exercises were pretty original, easy to understand and follow.
- The idea of being your own boss and always working for yourself (no matter where your paycheck is coming from) was ahead of it's time - nowadays there is a lot of buzz about personal brand, so I loved seeing this thinking in a book from 90s
- Quotes, like:
"Any job is good for you as long as you remember what you are doing there."
"If you go after what you want the most, you'll be in a much better position to go after anything else you want."

What I didn't like:
The exercises focused a lot on past experiences that didn't go well, trying to find the reasons for being stuck one way or another, healing the past. I wish there was more coming from the approach of strengths, what was good about the experiences in the past - looking on the highlights rather than lowlights. The last couple of chapters left me feeling pretty gloomy. I wish there was a more optimistic final chapter.

This book literally changed my life. I have been wondering - since about the age of 15, I'm now 31 - what I really wanted to do work-wise. I sort of bounced from one thing that I'm good at to the next variation on that theme, without ever feeling passionate or fulfilled. I painful breakup and growing discontent at work led me to try to sort this situation out once and for all and purely by luck I came across this book at the library.

I didn't start it until I felt ready, because I knew it wasn't going to be 'light on'. But one Saturday I picked it up and spent the next 8 hours pouring through it, doing the exercises and having one epiphany after another. At the end of it all I had applied to eight companies that did the sort of work I wanted to do and I ended up getting a job at my first choice, even without direct experience in that field. I'm 8 months into that job and I could not be happier.

The way I see it, the first three chapters of this book are about working out what you personally enjoy and are passionate about, while the remaining chapters are to help you overcome any barriers that prevent you from having that sort of work. This means that maybe only one of those latter chapters are for you, but it's all so practical that it's bound to have something that helps.

For me, the barriers weren't the big deal, it was knowing what on earth I wanted to do. And trust me - I had tried almost every other thing, including personality tests, seeing professional counsellors, everything. This book helped me unlock those activities that I have enjoyed since I was just a little child, and see the common thread amongst them. It was like learning more about yourself in a day than you learn in a decade.

I recommend that people buy this book but use it a) only when you really feel ready to explore yourself from a different point of view and b) with an open mind. Actually that makes it sound like it's full of really weird and challenging stuff, which it's not. That's what makes it different - the activities are quite straight forward and non-threatening, and the tone of the book makes it feel like the author is there with you, helping you all the way through.

I have emphatically recommended this book to everyone I know who is lost career-wise. Maybe it's not for everyone, but it changed my life in better ways that I ever imagined possible. Surely that's worth trying out?

Steve Jobs' commencement speech at Stanford University. In it, he says the advice we've all heard a thousand times:

"You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do." - Steve Jobs

Barbara Sher has some excellent books, DVDs, CDs and seminars on helping you to find your passion. Get your hands on everything that you can until one of them turns on that light bulb and you discover what that passion is and then do everything in your power to follow.

One example she offers: You have a passion for ice skating and competing, but you are not quite good enough to make it professionally. Well, there are still alternatives. Go to work for the Ice Follies in some capacity that keeps you close to your passion. Take a position in sales with a manufacturer of ice skates, etc. You get the idea.

You have to work hard at this and try to think out of the box. Let Barbara Sher help you step by step.

If Barbara is not the answer for you, don't stop looking or you may follow my true story below.

In my youth, after leaving my hometown, I read all of the books and listened to all of the tapes PMA, success, motivation, sales and on and on and they helped.

But, "If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be and what would you be doing?" Traveling on a sailboat through out the South Sea Islands didn't seem like it was going to make me a fortune or support my family. It is still necessary to be pragmatic.

So, what do you think happened? I did what probably 99% of the population does. I went to work for a large corporation and at the end of nearly 5 years I realized this wasn't for me. I had been transferred 5 times in 5 years, San Francisco to Houston to Philadelphia to Houston to Los Angeles and finally to San Diego. But, the reality set in. What was I trained to do? The answer was, since I had been the general manager of a national collection agency with branches across the United States, I would open a collection agency. That's what I knew and I knew I was good at it. And, I knew I could make good money doing it.

And, all of a sudden, I was the President of my own company, small though it might have been at the time.

But, then the frightening reality set in, I hated what I was doing. I didn't look forward to getting up each morning and racing into the office and I hated the overwhelming stress that came with being the President of my own company . But, of course, now I was in my late forties so what was I going to do? The only practical thing was to continue going in to a job I hated and tough it out until retirement time. My life had flashed before my eyes and twenty five years had gone by, unfulfilled, unsatisfied and day by day.

The point is that this is what happens to most of us in life. We get rapped up in the day to day routine, the need to make enough money to pay our bills and raise our children and then all of a sudden, it is over. The children have grown and there we are.

I had essentially done the same thing, but I left Spokane, Washington after high school and had been introduced to a whole other world, one with goals, goal setting, big dreams, Zig Ziglar`s, Brian Tracey`s, etc.

What I lacked was the single most important thing of all, finding my passion and following it. And, finally I discovered "I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was" by Barbara Sher which was recommended by a close, successful friend. Now, I am recommending it to you.

Whether you just graduated from college, have been working at a dead-end job for twenty years or simply fantasize about having the perfect life and career, this book can certainly help.

I've alway found that the biggest obstacle to my career sucess was simply not having a passion for anything. After countless personality tests and career match quizzes, I always ended up with multiple personalities (wondering if therapy was the real solution to my problems) and/or careers that did not interest me at all but matched my ability to make lists. Barbara Sher's book claims that everyone deep down knows what they are passionate about and it has nothing to do with whether you are a "green" or "gold" person, an introvert or an extrovert. There is just something holding you back from finding it. The exercises in this book proved truely helpful when I realized that the reason I've been stuck unhappily in a 9-6 corporate job was because it was what my dad had always wanted for me, and following my passion scared the you-know-what out of me (maybe I did need therapy afterall). I was enlightened and gratified by the book and would recommend it to anyone who is struggling to find what is really in their hearts.

Psychologist and career counselor, Barbara Sher, the best-selling author of WISHCRAFT, has synthesized a ground-breaking work of psychological insights and practical exercises that help us ferret out what we knew all along: we really do know what we want. There are many reasons for this sometimes lifelong memory gap. For some its fear of success, for others it's fear of failure, for many its insecurity or a lack of self-esteem. Whatever the reason, Sher has devised creative exercises from writing our own wish scenario to revisiting that point in our life where everything started to go wrong.
The question to ask of any self-help book is: can it really help? Yes, definitely, if you approach Sher's book without any expectations. If you think it's going to make you get up and quit that job you dread going to day after day, forget it. Sher's work here is to adjust your thinking not your life - that's up to you. As stated in the Upanishads: "As one's thinking is, such one becomes. " After reading this book, you just might appreciate that "dreaful" job you have and see how it actually helps get on with the work you really love to do. On the other hand, you might also find that the lifelong work you have been dreaming about can truly be a nightmare. It's all a matter of perspective as Sher points out so effectively.
I would recommend this book to anyone who felt it was time for a change and a little introspection. Whether you are highly creative or down-to-earth and practical, everyone can learn a lesson or two from Sher's revealing insights.

"Wishcraft" knocked my socks off many years ago. While this didn't pack the same punch for me, I still recommend it heartily as a follow-up to the previous book: she builds upon its insights to offer eminently practical help for discovering what you want in life. I like Sher's approach for two reasons: (1) she makes it clear that achieving what you want in life doesn't necessarily shape itself neatly into "career" (a common mistake in career and life-planning books), and (2) she recognizes that not everyone has one GRAND passion; some people are generalists by nature, and that's just as valid (and achievable!) a way of life. Her down-to-earth and realistic approach is refreshing, and she makes no extravagant promises. In fact, her books WILL change your life -- but only because she's shown you that you know what you're looking for, and just need some practical guidance about how to find it!

If you are struggling to figure out what you should be when you grow up, even if you are in your 40s or older! -- you need to read this book. It goes way beyond just assessing your skills or interests and really gets to the heart of what holds us back from going after what we really want. If you are unhappy in your job or thinking there must be something more than what you have now, read this book. Don't wait another day!

I have imagined myself doing thousands of different careers, but the interest in each career would fade as fast as it appeared. Each day was a new idea. Then I found this book and couldn't put it down. It helped me realize the patterns and interests I had all my life, but never pursued as a career. I just didn't have a formula to create a career out of what makes me the happiest. How to do find your life's desire when you feel so confused? The answer: Get this book. The exercises, when done honestly, really help flush out all the garbage you have learned along the way on what you "should" be doing versus what you need to do deep down inside. The author focuses a little much on blaming parents and other significant figures we have had in our lives, but they did only as well as they could. Each chapter, even if they don't entirely relate to you, teaches you something about life and the choices you have made. This book is practical and thought provoking. It really got me excited about finally living my dream. Here I go! A must read!

Psychologist and career counselor, Barbara Sher, the best-selling author of WISHCRAFT, has synthesized a ground-breaking work of psychological insights and practical exercises that help us ferret out what we knew all along: we really do know what we want. There are many reasons for this sometimes lifelong memory gap. For some its fear of success, for others it's fear of failure, for many its insecurity or a lack of self-esteem. Whatever the reason, Sher has devised creative exercises from writing our own wish scenario to revisiting that point in our life where everything started to go wrong. The question to ask of any self-help book is: can it really help? Yes, definitely, if you approach Sher's book without any expectations. If you think it's going to make you get up and quit that job you dread going to day after day, forget it. Sher's work here is to adjust your thinking not your life - that's up to you. As stated in the Upanishads: "As one's thinking is, such one becomes. " After reading this book, you just might appreciate that "dreadful" job you have and see how it actually helps you get on with the work you really love to do. On the other hand, you might also find that the lifelong work you have been dreaming about can truly be a nightmare. It's all a matter of perspective as Sher points out so effectively. I would recommend this book to anyone who felt it was time for a change and a little introspection. Whether you are highly creative or down-to-earth and practical, everyone can learn a lesson or two from Sher's revealing insights.

I read the reviews before getting the book. Since there were so many mixed ones, I decided to give it a try and find out for myself if it was worth reading or not. The book is easy to read (hence the 2 stars), but other than that, it does nothing to point what I want to do. It starts with talking about your dream job and desires and how your family is responsible for your confusion. But seriously, if I knew my dream job or desires, I wouldn't read the book.

It has a chapter on 'jack of all trades', but it still talks like you are skilled at these various things and you are just afraid to choose. Well, I'm not afraid to choose, but I just don't know what to choose.

I'm quite disappointed with the book. It left me exactly where I started.

This book has exercises to help you figure out what you really want in life. It aims to get you beyond the negative thinking and self-sabatage, those messages in our heads, that keeps us stalled. It was interesting reading about the family patterns and life experiences that might keep you in a state of stagnation.

At times I found it hard to keep reading as it brought to the surface issues that have been kept tamped down for decades. This is a good book to return to for a refresher. You will get different things from it over time as your resistance grows less.

I give this book 3 stars (generously) because it is one of the few vocational books I've read that I got SOMETHING out of.
When I read the hardcover edition during it's initial release, I still was only a few years out of high school. At that time, with this book, I was able to begin differentiating the social expectations of parents, peers, teachers, society, etc. from my own. That was a big step for me; but, didn't help me resolve my other vocational and educational issues at the time.
The only other thing this book helped me with was for the first time arriving at some sort of very general mission statement --- so, atleast I earned a VAGUE conception of what I subconsciously had been holding out for, vocationally. There is another book out there called "Soul Purpose: Discovering and Fulfilling Your Destiny" by Mark Thurston that does a better job with this though. Richard Nelson Bolles' book "How to Find Your Mission in Life" is great for this too. I'd recommend either book over this one to that end.
Incidentally, this book involves more lengthy writing exercises than any other book on the subject that I've ever encountered. I felt I the work I put into it was far more than what I got out of it.

The book begins by suggesting our career indecisiveness stems from childhood, and assumes we were all bombarded with messages from our family/friends as to what we should do in life -- and that all along we've simply been trying to be what others want us to be. That may be true to some degree, but the author seems to adamant that that is the root cause.

The other thing I found off-putting is that that author uses one exercise, early in the book, in which the reader imagines his/her dream job -- your ideal job. Whatever you envision as being the ultimate great job. Well, isn't that why we're reading the book -- because we don't know what our dream jobs are? After that exercise, and one more in which the reader fine-tunes their dream job, the author writes, "Look who just figured out what she wants." It seemed an oversimplification, to say the least.

There was one part I found somewhat helpful, and that was the section about "meaningful work" -- making the reader examine his/her idea of what that is.

There may have been a statement here or there that was a good thought point, but overall the author seems to make very bold statements, yet I found myself wondering what her credentials are. I read the first few chapters, skimmed a few others, and decided this book wasn't worth purchasing after all. I think "What Color is Your Parachute," though much more time-consuming to work through, is probably more sensible and helpful.

I read the book and did the determining excercises that were meant to tell me what I want in a career. Sher pegged my character and did an excellent job of listing some factors I should look for in a career field (chiefly, variety and shorter-term projects, with several things to work on at once). However, 'my' section of the book was regrettably short on concrete suggestions for where I might find those factors, or even where to start looking or what questions to ask.
It is possible, though, my type is just hard to fit and that other personality types may find more concrete help here.

The book begins by suggesting our career indecisiveness stems from childhood, and assumes we were all bombarded with messages from our family/friends as to what we should do in life -- and that all along we've simply been trying to be what others want us to be. That may be true to some degree, but the author seems to adamant that that is the root cause.

The other thing I found off-putting is that that author uses one exercise, early in the book, in which the reader imagines his/her dream job -- your ideal job. Whatever you envision as being the ultimate great job. Well, isn't that why we're reading the book -- because we don't know what our dream jobs are? After that exercise, and one more in which the reader fine-tunes their dream job, the author writes, "Look who just figured out what she wants." It seemed an oversimplification, to say the least.

There was one part I found somewhat helpful, and that was the section about "meaningful work" -- making the reader examine his/her idea of what that is.

There may have been a statement here or there that was a good thought point, but overall the author seems to make very bold statements, yet I found myself wondering what her credentials are. I read the first few chapters, skimmed a few others, and decided this book wasn't worth purchasing after all. I think "What Color is Your Parachute," though much more time-consuming to work through, is probably more sensible and helpful.

I read the book and did the determining excercises that were meant to tell me what I want in a career. Sher pegged my character and did an excellent job of listing some factors I should look for in a career field (chiefly, variety and shorter-term projects, with several things to work on at once). However, 'my' section of the book was regrettably short on concrete suggestions for where I might find those factors, or even where to start looking or what questions to ask.
It is possible, though, my type is just hard to fit and that other personality types may find more concrete help here.

I cannot recommend this book more highly. It is spritely written, free of fluff and psycobable. The advice presented is immidiately useful, and more importantly is superb commonsense. This book should simply be prescribed reading.
Sher presents a methodology for living that is economical, and doesn't require to much change or restructuring.
I read this book at a time in my life when I was when I was searching through literature for answers, and came across this book by accident. I am eternally greatful for this 'accident'.

I found the first four chapters helpful with activities that made me think about what career would be right for me. Unfortunately the following chapters were not really on "discovering what you really want", but covered a slew of reasons why people don't go after their heart's desire. I have a great life (minus the fulfilling career) with supportive family and friends whose only expectation is to do whatever makes me happy, so the majority of the book just didn't speak to me. It just seems to focus on the negative reasons you don't pursue a new career rather than counselling the reader in ways of how to go about uncovering the career that is right for him or her. So, good book if you are surrounded by mental roadblocks, not so good if you just really don't know what you want to do.

Overall, this book gave a series of pep-talks with some good illustrations of situations people can find themselves in. However, this book may not cover the type of situation you are facing, you may not find the illustrations very relevant, or you may not trust the off-the-top-of-head reasoning the author uses.
I read this book for perspective on my job & career search, and did not find it to be much help. 'The Pathfinder' by Nicholas Lore is superior because it gives methods and approaches to assess your situation yourself, and more fully covers the many aspects of evaluating career options. The techniques presented by Lore may even be applicable for personal investigations outside the realm of career exploration.

Maybe you're just out of college wondering how you ended up with a business degree when you hate business. Or you've been spending way too much time on the job/in life daydreaming about some other job or life. Or maybe, like me, all seems right with your world, but you have a nagging feeling there's something else you should be doing. Barbara Sher's book will help you sort it all out. She'll help you figure out what's at the root of these feelings and how to understand and handle them. Through a series of exercises, explanations and examples she guides you to discover just what it is that you truly want to do. And then she shows you how to get to do what you want.
You have to be ready to do a little psychological work on yourself, think hard about your past and realistically about your future. You have to be ready to put aside the excuses and fears, and Sher knows them all, and commit yourself to working towards the life you want to live. If you're looking for something easier, like tests or checklists to tell you what you should be doing, this book might not sound like it's for you. But buy it anyway. I read all the books with the tests, the checklists, the affirmations and the goal making, etc... and they got me nowhere. This book finally got me somewhere.

This book is nicely written, full of helpful and insightful exercises. It focuses on resistance, why you are not getting anywhere or why you can't stick with things or why you are unsatisfied. There is a scenario for everyone, from the seemingly successful individual to the average person.
The author is very loving and caring. She makes it very safe for us to "explore" what we really want, but mostly how come we don't have it yet, even if we don't really know what it is. I have been able to discover the underlying resistances (and yes, I have quite a few!) that have been plaguing my life, preventing me from living to my full potential, and to understand the motivation/behavior behind my major life decisions.
By understanding how I behave, it will be a lot easier to stick with the things I discovered I liked. However, even though I now have a very good understanding of how my patterns of resistance work, I am still unclear about what I want to do exactly. Lots of items on my list, but somehow, couldn't make them come together under one major theme.
No, Aha! for me yet when it comes to finding true meaningful work or a new and exciting career. But at least now, I have elements to point me in the right direction and mostly when I do find my niche, chances are excellent that I will not sabotage myself. That alone is well worth the price of this book!

As a former newspaper columnist, I interviewed many self-help authors. Barbara Sher was a favorite because she really helps people realize their dreams and go after what they want. All her books are to be highly recommended! She is enthusiastic and explicit.
Home Sweeter Home: Creating a Haven of Simplicity and Spirit (Sweet Simplicity, Book 1)Codependent for Sure!Codependent for Sure!Organized Serenity: A Practical Guide for Getting It TogetherJann Mitchell is the author of: Love Sweeter Love: Creating Relationships Of Simplicity And Spirit (Sweet Simplicity)

I would combine this book with The Path by Laurie Beth Jones and Pathfinder by Nicholas Lore. PAthfinder may be a little too involved and imposing for some. This book by Sher has many of the same attributes. You will guided on a jorney to discocver what it is you really want to do with your life. Sher's writing is conversational and friendly. At time syou will feel as if she is in the room talking with you. Read the book, do the exercises, and get closer to doing what you really want to do.

When someone asks me, "If you could do anything, and money wasn't an issue, what would it be?" I know it is crazy, but I can't answer that question! I have a hard time figuring out what I'm passionate about, yet I'm a passionate person. This book gave me a lot of insight. I've read Do What You Are (also good), Parachute (really good job finding tips), and others. But this one was the only one that was written for me. Now I'm on Refuse to Choose and loving it.

This book does not offer tests about your strengths or your personality. It presents you with self-analysis exercises to determine why you don't like what you are currently doing. This is incredibly valuable. I had significant breakthroughs that I believe will change my ability to succeed in my career.
I now realize that I did not need a career change at all, all I needed was a change in attitude towards success.
Some reviewers rate this book poorly. If you notice, many of them have no work experience and are recent graduates. I can see why the book was not useful to them since the most valuable part is about reflecting your work performance and your feelings at work.

Barbara Sher knows about what she's talking about, and if you are feeling lost and alone and uncertain about yourself and your place in the world, then this book, along with all of her other fantastic titles, will be of help to you. Her advice has worked wonders for my life; she has even called me personally and offered advice and assistance. Buy her books, today...