And Hobbies to Create the Life and Career of Your Dreams

Why is this book important when there are so many excellent resources - including Sher's other books? Because if you happen to be a Scanner, and if you always felt vaguely - or NOT so vaguely - uncomfortable about not settling into one interest or one perfect career, then this is the validation you've been looking for. And if you get nothing more than the realization that you are not alone out there, well, in my book that's a lot.

Of course - since I'm currently a coach focusing on transitions who used to be a high school English teacher, an employment counselor, a payroll clerk, a pre-school teacher, a college professor, a trainer and a training manager, so this book speaks directly to my experience and the experiences of my clients - I'm a tad biased. It's refreshing to read that serial careers are the norm for some - that it doesn't indicate an inability to succeed.

The one drawback is that this book has a lot of information packed into it, yet leaves me wanting more. There's a lot to say about - and to - Scanners. Once we've finished the basic instruction manual, what's next?

For those of us who continually struggle to figure out what we want to do when we grow up and who rarely or never finish projects, Barbara Sher's book, Refuse to Choose is a MUST read. Why? Well, because as Sher will tell you, you are a Scanner. Knowing this will free your spirit and Sher will give you fun tools to use to do it!

I'm a self professed self-help junkie who can confess to feeling it's often a drag to do exercises in a self improvement book. Sher's exercises are actually fun. And, while I usually find most exercises that people write in self-help books minimally enlightening, a few of Sher's are real eye openers. One such exercise was to create a list of all the things I've done so far in life. Wow, was that useful. Usually I think I haven't done all that much, but once I listed it all on paper, my life took on new meaning. I discovered themes that I wouldn't have without writing out this list. And, it was just plain old fun to think about all of it.

Another thing I liked quite a bit about Sher's approach in this book is that she makes sure to keep it realistic. She tells us scanners that we shouldn't try to finish every project that we start because we are built to explore many, many subjects. However, she tempers this with what I believe to be very sound advice. She tells us to pick something to finish. The sense of accomplishment we will get from finishing one or a few projects is well worth the effort.

The one criticism that I have is that I found it hard to read through each and every type of scanner about which Sher writes because they overlap enough to make me a little skeptical that each is really a true separate type. However, the "Life Models" that she has given for these types such as the "School Day Life Model" are phenomenal. They give people the right idea that they can live their lives in ways that uniquely suit them instead of wasting time trying to fit into the molds society gives them. For this reason and as a scanner myself, I call Sher a kindred spirit.

I rate Barbara Sher's Refuse to choose a four star experience.

I read 'Wishcraft' when it first came out about a quarter of century ago-- and yes, it DID change my life. I spent a number of years abroad (part of my dream) and on returning, found Barbara Sher's website and bulletin board. I am a classic 'scanner' of the type described in this book and was privileged to read a copy of the book while it was still in manuscript. Eager to see the published version, I rushed to this site as soon as one of the regulars on the bulletin board announced her copy had arrived... and saw the two reviews, both dated before the book was printed! Aristophanite may, as I did, have gotten a preview copy, but since Ms. Sher was still working hard on the text in January it is hard to believe that Jane Grane could be basing her 'review' on an actual book.

Suffice it to say that the large number of us who have been told all our lives that we must 'settle down', choose between our various loves and concentrate on a single subject will find this book a delightful revelation. As she does in her other books, Barbara Sher gives wonderful tips on how to get the life you want without changing who you are-- or even changing your attitude!

Readers who want a taste of Barbara Sher's wit and wisdom before buying the current book can read 'Wishcraft' [...] which has an extensive bulletin board as well as information on the activities of the non-profit she founded to promote the native weaving arts in Turkey.

For years, I beat myself up because I hopped from job to job because as soon as I mastered a task, I got bored. Every time I fell in love with a new hobby, I tried to make it a career, only to feel boxed in as soon as it began to take off. I thought I was afraid of success or lazy or undisciplined, but none of that was true. Barbara Sher taught me that I have a beautiful mind--like Leonardo da Vinci. Well, maybe not that good, but I have a hungry mind that needs stimulation. I have nothing to be ashamed of.
Since reading her book, I have written and published travel articles, entered the Pillsbury Bake-off, and started grad school--none of which I would have wasted time on before because they weren't "worthy" activities. I've learned that anything that feeds my soul is worthy and every fleeting interest fills my creative reservoir. Most importantly, I'm the happiest I've ever been since I quit trying to fit into someone else's mold.
If you're feeling flaky or lazy or guilty because you're interested in absolutely everything, read this book.

I feel extremely grateful I found this book. Barbara Sher is simply a genius. Everything in my life is better because I understood that I'm not supposed to be a specialist. It's amazing how much society gives us rules that we can't even question, but I'm so happy people like the author actually did. Thank you.

Barbara Sher offers encouragement and guidance to those of us who don't know what we want to "be when we grow up." A fellow "scanner," she commiserates with our need to scan the horizon for new challenges and discoveries, and with the burdening notion that, if we stick with just one thing, we'll miss out on something better. Ultimately, Barbara gives scanners permission to say, "I won't do only one thing - I'll do it all."

The book is filled with guidance and various techniques that scanners can apply to our lives, based on which type of scanner we are (it's refreshing to know that we don't fit neatly into the same package). Barbara describes the various types at length so that even the most indecisive scanner will identify with only one or two the categories.

It turns out that I'm a wanderer: someone who is drawn to so many disparate types of activities that it seems my life lacks direction and form. Though, after reading Barbara's book, I realize that my "wanderings" aren't random - that all along they've had a theme and have followed a precise path. By completing the exercises in the book, I've discovered what that theme is and have decided to compile my journey into a collection of personal essays.

Don't waste any more time trying to wrangle yourself down a career path that doesn't work for you. Barbara reminds us that when we understand ourselves, we can be free to what we were born to do. Good luck!

Skip the long-winded reviews and read this book if the title grabbed you. You are in for a treat. You will need more than this book to switch to the ultimate career in life, but this book will put you on the path. I think it's even a great book for staying in your current profession but getting more fulfillment out of your creative, lateral-thinking brain. You need to see if you are a scanner. If you are a scanner, you will be ever-grateful for this book. The author has really cracked a unique code among creative types.

Actor Martin Sheen just shot his final episode as the President on tv series The West Wing [to air in mid May], and at age 65 will enroll as a full-time student at the National University of Ireland, majoring in philosophy, theology and English literature with a special concentration in oceanography. He has several honorary degrees, and also has been arrested more than 60 times for civil disobedience.

Author Barbara Sher admits to being this kind of multitalented, multifaceted person with changing interests, a "Scanner" who "loves to read and write, to fix and invent things, to design projects and businesses, to cook and sing, and to create the perfect dinner party... fascinated with learning... sees the world is like a big candy store full of fascinating opportunities."

She notes that other people [and Scanners themselves] may often become very frustrated with these protean interests and shifting attentions, but she distinguishes the personality qualities and ways of thinking from those resulting from depression or ADD/ADHD, and defines a range of varieties of Scanners such as the Serial Specialist, Jack-of-All-Trades, the Sybil and others.

One of the people she mentions is Studs Terkel, who has been a radio performer, actor, radio interviewer, and writer of multiple books. She considers him a Wanderer and says his "theme, his first love and his greatest gift is listening to people."

This stimulating book is an informative and encouraging celebration of the many people with eclectic passions and pursuits who will not, cannot settle down to just one path to find and realize their talents.

This book is kind of frustrating in that the first part will assure you everything will be fine (excluding Sher's fatalistic approach to depression, in which she endorses therapy and medication. This area is a big one for me, since I am also depressed time-to-time and find that medication has only worsened the feeling. I feel that she could have at least touched on the subject in a more friendly, organic form, or not touched it at all.)

Then the second part - commence head scratching. Find your scanner type(s) and try your hand at adopting the practices.

I find it truly aggravating to come to the Sybil scanner and see that one of the best ways a Sybil scanner can work on all projects at once is to make a curriculum out of them, just like school. Jesus. It will take a lifetime to remove the horrors of compulsory schooling from my brain (thanks to The Teenage Liberation Handbook), let alone use the same machine to optimize my day.

I've had this book since April (and it's now Novemeber). I'm still trying to find a way to do all the things I want to. Structure is not my friend apparently. Once I schedule my writing or drawing into hour-long or every-other-day models, I'm completely disinterested. My muse and activities surge at random. I probably won't finish my projects until my last living day (and that's a self-fulfilling prophecy).

I believe this book needs a second installment. Maybe Leonardo Da Vinci should write it.

If you are on of those people who tries something, then gets bored with it, then tries something else and nothing seems to be 'THE THING' that you want to do in life' then this book is for you! You'll find that there's nothing wrong with you - you're just a SCANNER! Barbara Sher tells you how to live happily doing just what you want to do! No matter what you are interested in - then not - you will not feel guilty anymore for not having that GOAL in life that others have and learn to be happy in your own skin, doing your own things! A Must-Read if you fit the profile - and not a bad read for those who live with you! I am so much more at peace with myself and refuse to let others dictate what I 'SHOULD BE DOING' anymore! Thanks Barbara!
Signed Been There Done That in Sedro-Woolley, WA!

To the ReadMoreBooks before me... obviously she wasn't writing about you! I can TOTALLY relate TOTALLY!

How nice to go from invisible to visible, from failure to perfectly all right, to escape another stereotype..just all in my mind, how freeing... all of a sudden my pile of never ending projects are now like sparkling jewels in the sunlight yay yay! oh ya, you rock Barb!

As always, Barbara is wise and witty with new ideas to share. The Scanner concept explains a lot of things about a number of people I know; I will, thanks to another reviewer, check out the references cited on the web site. Perhaps I will find the inspiration to base a dissertation somewhere in here [or there, all depends on how you look at it].

I will be buying a 2nd copy so I have one for home, one for my private counseling practice. Odd that of all the really good authors in self-help field, Barbara Sher is the only one who inspires me to buy duplicates. And no, I am not a friend / family member / paid reviewer...I just want to be like Barbara when [if] I grow up!

Is "ReadMoreBooks..." a subversive sibling of Ms. Sher's? I was relieved to find out, courtesy of this book, that I am OK and my subersive sibling is, well, she is a subversive sibling in the worst sense of the word. Now I, like so many others, can stop wondering if "Perfect Pat" [note name is gender neutral, comment is not aimed at any particular person!] is right and we are just wasting our lives and taking up space, and devote ourselves purely to pursuit of multiple professions

This book helps you stop beating yourself up for not "focusing on one thing" when that is not how you are made. It gives you a lot of useful ideas for structuring your life to support who you really are, and create success on your own terms!

My journey of self discovery has come in bits and pieces. A puzzle. I've been trying to make some sense of it all and Refuse to Chose has helped me do that. Thank you, Barbara Sher. I thought I was crazy. But reading your book has me believing that I'm some kind of genius. This makes my Afro curl even tighter! I knew it! I knew that there was something wired in me that was different but a good different not a bad different that others would had me believing. I will add RTC to my collection of other treasured "bread crumbs" that will lead me to doorsteps of the place I'll call home-My Best Work.

Still reading this book, but so far it is excellent! I find myself nodding in agreement on most pages. It's always nice to know you're not nuts, or a slacker, or a commitment-phobe, etc. It's perfectly okay to have varied interests and even to pursue them all to the point where you are satisfied. That's been the biggest eye-opener for me so far. I don't have to learn all there is to know about everything I'm interested in. Just as much as I need to know. Wow!

I love everything she writes, but always find the children's books listed with hers by a different Barbara Sher. If you want a bio of the other Barbara Sher, you're sent right back to the *real* Barbara's bio, so there's no way to make it clear that those books aren't hers. I bought the kid's book at a booksigning in Cincinnati where Barbara spoke last week and she told me she can't get the store to change it. After her talk (about Scanners! Which saved my life--and the book is even better!) I looked into the children's book and it was clear it was written by someone else (none of Sher's tone, wit, or wisdom, etc.) So I thought I'd let all of you know!

What a relief. Finally I understand why I always feel like I'm swimming up stream. This is the first time I've read about an approach that considers my "random" style without telling me I need to do things like someone else and in a certain order. I appreciate the author's insight and understanding into the struggle you feel when "typical" approaches are not working. The exercises really help.

I now realize that all the other self help programs were an attempt to try to get myself to be happy doing one thing. It was never going to happen. Now there's a real solution, a whole other paradigm.

Stop trying to make yourself do one thing, and get this book to help you follow all your heart's desires while making it work in real life.

Tell every person you know with multiple interests. They will be be relieved and grateful.

I watched the Barbara Sher PBS special on Scanners and was amazed at how well she described us - how we think and act in our careers. The book is a detailed explanation of this type of person and the techniques they can use to make their life more productive. If you are not a Scanner or do not know somebody who is a Scanner, then you may read the book and wonder what it is all about. If you are a Scanner, you should run and buy this book and treasure it - you will not be disappointed.

I bought this based on a recommendation given in a session designed to help employees prepare for retirement. I found the book very disappointing - most of what's in here falls under the heading of "well, DUH!" I found no great insights, and little of lasting value in this book.

Readers attracted to this title are likely to be extremely creative. Their ideas never stop percolating and they want to get involved with all of them.
This book will be especially welcome for people who repeatedly come under fire for everchanging pursuits and postponed projects. (Besides Ms. Sher and Margaret Lobenstine, I'd encourage people to check out Thom Hartmann. He wrote the terrific book "A.D.D.--A Different Perception".)

'Scanner' is a pleasant term for individuals whose brains are wired very differently. If you identify with Sher's description, you'll no doubt find yourself on Hartmann's pages, as well. He presents intriguing theories and explanations, encouraging those who "Think Different," to continue to do so. (The Apple ad campaign slogan appeared on giant billboards featuring portraits of trailblazing thinkers.)
Due to Hartmann's book I myself became a proud member of the "always-interested-in-many-things" club.

ADDers, (also known as scanners,) are endlessly interested by new ideas, facts, and tasks. They'll easily leave projects in progress to investigate the novel; something else that captures their "scanning" attention. Many of society's inventions have been discovered/developed thanks to fortunate distractions. The scanner mind can also intensely fixate on a particularly interesting subject, to the exclusion of all others. (called hyperfocusing). They can often become so engrossed that it would take an act of congress to tear them away and get back to life at hand. When your style is constantly cast in a negative light by most of society, its a joyous find to read authors who present your otherwise perceived weaknesses as strengths.
Scanners might also want to pick up the book: Driven to Distraction.

Scanner, ADDer, whatever name you want to claim, if you usually feel like a Mac in a world of PCs, seek out even more information. Read the available literature and websites. You may want to consider coaching or working with a Success Team, as described by Barbara Sher in "Wishcraft". Delight in your mercurial mind. If "Refuse to Choose" is the first time you've felt validated, keep reading and discover how your ADDed dimension can be considered a plus. Collect useful strategies that help to harness abundant creative energy. You'll feel relieved and even PC people will recognize your success.

In Refuse To Choose, Barbara Sher badly confuses two very real but very different problems: the inability of some people to finish any project they start, and the shame dumped by family and friends on people who pursue many diverse passions in life. The book rightly dismisses that misguided shame thrust on people with ecclectic interests, and in doing so may be very helpful and encouraging to an otherwise successful person who meets that description.

But for people who are unable to bring any project to completion, the book offers little useful advice, and several suggestions that are likely to make the problem worse instead of better. Instead of explaining how to complete projects and escape from the traps that prevent them from being completed, the opening chapters dismiss the value of completing any project we start - an assertion even this book can't support for very long. In the closing chapters of the book, Sher gives exactly the same advice that anyone else would: pick one project and see it through to the finish, ignoring all others. And that's a reasonable suggestion, but it leaves most readers right back where they started.

In one particularly ill-conceived passage, Sher encourages overwhelmed parents to set aside parental responsibilities in favor of other priorities; she gives the example of feeding the kids cereal for dinner instead of going through another day's shopping routine, and asking the children to help out with an important business report instead of working on it privately. On the surface, this sounds reasonable: why let drudgery sap away any more creative energy? But a deeply misguided philosophy of parental and personal responsibility lies underneath this type of suggestion. The children in this scenario learn that it is their responsibility to solve the parent's problems, and they also learn that eating properly and other such "adult" behaviors are ultimately unnecessary. The parent in this scenario learns that the sound parental decision-making is unimportant - and then the parent wonders why the adolescent child shows no ability to make good decisions. There are good ways for a parent to maintain a reserve of creative energy, but this ain't one of them.

Some of the ideas in the book are useful. It is indeed a good idea to put aside others' negative judgments of our many exciting projects, and to find encouragement by making lists of past accomplishments, and to keep a journal of creative ideas, and to occasionally abandon a project with the same enthusiasm with which it was launched. But these are not new ideas: Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way covers the same territory with much greater insight and wisdom. If you're looking to free yourself from your inability to complete any projects you start, get The Artist's Way, follow its program, and find out what the real problem is. And keep pursuing your many interests - but do it to satisfy your deepest desires, not to distract yourself from them.

Suddenly the self-help world has awakened to a shocking discovery: Careers don't move in a straight line. Some people cannot make a single choice for a lifetime. Some people can't follow traditional career guidance to choose the "right" career. So we have Margaret Lobenstine's Renaissance Soul and now Barbara Sher's Refuse to Choose.

These insights are not new. As I said elsewhere, Rick Jarow anticipated the trend in Creating the Work You Love. He encouraged readers to choose up to 5 goals for a six-month horizon. And in Working Identity, Herminia Ibarra reports research suggesting that career change never did follow a straight line. We just hoped it would.

Sher's major contribution lies in the exercises she has designed. As a career consultant, I'm totally impressed. I particularly like the "Everything I Don't Want List" (p. 216). Unfortunately, as Herminia Ibarra noted in Working Identity, self-analysis is the easy, fun part of career change. Implementing your new direction is tough, and that's where most career changers give up.

And I have to add that I'm generally suspicious of typologies. Most readers will recognize themselves in more than one of Sher's Scanner types.

That said, I believe many readers will feel relieved as they read this book, simply because they feel Sher understands them. She does a great service to readers by debunking career myths, including variations of, "You have one passion and it must be connected with your job."

My concerns come when we're asked to translate these insights into reality. Sher's time management suggestions are creative and (I suspect) practical. For instance, some people can organize their days as if they were still in school, with hour-long "periods" for their different interests. Others can use chunks as small as a commercial break.

But, as a career consultant and career changer, I believe we need to recognize trade-offs more explicitly. Those who dig deeply into a career will almost always gain greater external rewards (i.e., money, status, approval) than those who try to do many different things.

We don't need to be judgmental. We can recognize that certain personality types will be more successful, in general. Research (which Sher does not use) shows that people who are tall and attractive can obtain unique rewards. Life isn't fair.

The book's two greatest weaknesses: Sher tries to match specific careers to scanner types and she shares success stories that range from unique to unbelievable.

For example, certain Scanners will be suited to teaching. But teaching at elementary and high school levels requires sitting through dreary, mind-numbing education courses. College teaching offers more scope for creativity. As she says, a research professor can have fun reading from sociology, psychology, anthropology and English literature, turning these new ideas into research papers.

However, to have freedom for research, you need to find a sufficiently high-quality university. And once on board, there's enormous pressure to specialize. The top researchers in any field tend to have fairly narrow focuses. They learn one technique and one field in great depth. As time goes on, they may add a second of a third. Those who "refuse to choose" pay a price in reputation, translating to marketability and ultimately dollars.

Worse, this book does not address the difficulty of entering certain Scanner-friendly fields, such as motivational speaking, National Park Service jobs, and more. Starting one's own business does offer freedom -- but the vast majority of business owners spend up to 90% of their time on marketing. Read The E-Myth by Michael Gerber.

Finally, some examples seem unrealistic and even dangerous for some career changers. For example, on page 136, Sher describes "Huey," who chose to become a secretary to gain time for reading nineteenth century novels.

"Huey" claims he has 3.5 hours every evening, plus 12 hours weekends and holidays, to fulfill his literary passions. Clearly, Huey isn't married, and for sure he doesn't have children, dogs or a health club membership.

My question: What happens to Huey when he turns thirty, forty or fifty? I'm reminded of Tama Kieves, who wrote This Time I Dance. Kieves, a disgruntled lawyer, took a waitress job "serving curly fries" to her former colleagues. These jobs are fine when you're young -- but as you reach forty and fifty, with no other options, they stop being a Good Enough Job, let alone a lark, and start feeling like a trap.

Once I read a sad posting on a career forum. "Elise" had taken a series of secretarial jobs to fill her passion for self-improvement courses, such as est and esalen. But now, in her 40's, she had little savings and fewer options.

There's something wonderfully satisfying about a sense of mastery, particularly for those in forties, fifties and sixties. Saying "I know how to do this" and "I'm on top of my field" carries a confidence that can be transferred to the pursuit of new dreams.

And sacrificing income doesn't mean just giving up a few restaurant meals or even wearing last season's clothes. Money can't buy happiness but it can avoid a lot of misery. As one of my friends likes to say, "Serving your passion is fine but eventually your passion gets tired of eating mac and cheese."

Bottom Line: I'd recommend this book to my clients as the first step in "finding your dream career." But I'd suggest following inspiration with action, recognizing the tradeoffs and being open to serendipitous twists and turns along the journey.

The author frequently refers to herself as a counselor, therapist, and life coach. I researched Ms. Sher's background to see what sort of training and official credentials she has and could not find a single mention of her having any certifications or formal training... not even a college degree (though she did brag about receiving an "honorary" degree once from a college after speaking there). If I'm wrong about this, please put a note in the comments and I will update this review accordingly.

This book often feels like well-intentioned astrology, guiding the reader through "systems" full of "magic steps" (Ms. Sher's words) that will allow the reader to finally accomplish all those goals that have been sitting on the back burner for so long. These systems involve everything from keeping a bookshelf full of binders for each interest you have, to making list upon list upon list, to creating Ms. Sher's homespun flowcharts. It's quite funny, really.... considering that so many people reading this book are reading it because all they are already putting all their effort into spinning their wheels planning and writing about their goals instead of actually achieving them.

To be fair, there are a lot of really bad self-help books out there. This book is not any worse than most of them. In fact, the reason I look into the backgrounds of authors is because it's a pretty big commitment for a reader to jump through all the hoops the author has laid out. I feel bad for the people who commit dozens or even hundreds of hours carefully following the systems hastily dreamt up by authors like Ms. Sher and come away with no long lasting results. I urge any "scanners" out there to find a book that takes a scientific approach to focusing on realizing goals and leave Refuse to Choose! on the shelf for someone who wants to keep writing about their dreams instead of achieving them.