Grace Based Parenting: Set Your Familiy Free

Kimmel provides a lot of motivation (examples of good and bad case scenarios and plenty of scripture) to be the kind of parent God wants you to be. I feel like it makes a lot of sense and hope that I can always remember to apply it.

Tim Kimmel provides the "third way" of parenting. Not legalism and strictness. Not laxity and license. But the grace of the gospel of Jesus Christ. He teaches us to parent the way our Father in heaven parents us. A helpful book!

This principles in this book not only apply to how we raise our children, but also give insight to how god views us, how each congregation should view children and the non-churched in their community, and how we view other believers.
I recommend this book to any believer looking for insights on grace.

Overall I felt this was a great book. The author made some great points about Christian parenting and tied it into key biblical passages. He was very general, though. If you're new to grace-based parenting, and don't have any role models to turn to, you might be left asking what's next? How do you really implement grace-based discipline? I felt I needed more specifics. But where I was truly disappointed was at the very end when the author condoned spanking. I honestly don't see how you can hit a small child in grace.

This book is about parenting with grace. It's about preparing your kids for the world and not preparing the world for your kids.The author warns us against the pitfalls of legalistic decision making. He is clearly pro-public schools and anti-private, almost to the point of insulting those who have chosen private. Although he emphasizes the concept of keeping your home grace-based, there aren't a lot of examples of what that really looks like. The book was o.k. if you are not a sensitive private-schooling family.

I love the idea of parenting based on our salvation in Christ through grace. But save yourself the time and trouble of reading this book and just read a book review instead. The underlying idea can be summed up in this: give your child a secure love (unconditional love), significant purpose (affirmations and self confidence), and strong hope (security in Christ). I say to save yourself the trouble of reading this book for that information because the author certainly puts a bad taste in your mouth for grace-based anything, and indeed for Christianity in general. Instead of using positive examples to explain how to implement his ideas, everything is negative and what not to do. Nearly every chapter includes 2-3 pages of an anecdotal story he witnessed of bad parenting by a bad mother or father. Not content to just relay the story and every little detail about the parent's tone of voice or the child's sad face, he concludes that the child will most certainly grow up thinking their mother doesn't love them or thinking this or that about the world and ruining their lives. I would have much rather have read 2-3 pages of practical advice on what to do to communicate strong hope, significant purpose, and secure love, rather than read about one instance of a horrible parent that couldn't communicate his grace ideas. His judgmental tone is quite ironic: for a book about grace this author comes across as the complete opposite.

I think every parent would benefit from reading Kimmel's book. One of the best aspects is his discussion of his own failures with his own children, but also his description of how he recovered from some of his mistakes.

This would be a good book for heavy disciplinarians to read, but I wonder if they would be able to take on board what he says.

A good aspect of the book is his discussion of how often parents base their discipline of their children on ensuring that other parents approve of them! How true!

There are many amusing and provocative anecdotes, which will make you think.

I also recommend H Norman Wright's "How to Talk So your Kids will Listen."

The book came as promised in an appropriate timeframe, in promised condition. Seller kept appropriate contact regarding receipt of order, when the order was filled, and when it was shipped. Thank you.

I purchased this book thinking it would be a great guide to parent my children with more spirituality, but I could not get into it at all. I tried reading the book about 3 times and finally just gave up. The book was boring and I felt that the examples given were not realistic or were blown way out of proportion. I would not recommend this book. I will be looking for a better book at the library first next time! Very disappointed!

The core concept of Dr. Tim Kemmel’s “Grace Based Parenting” book and video series is that we, as human parents, are to treat our children the same way God treats His children (i.e. us). While this sound fairly straight forwards, in reality it is not.

The reason that it is hard to raise kids the way God raise us, is because we don’t always have a clear view of who God is or what His grace means or looks like. So many of us tend to think that God is sitting up there on His throne just waiting for us to screw up so that He can smack us (just like our human parents used to). Or we think that as Christians we are to protect our children from the evils of the world in the same way the church is supposed to (i.e. remove itself from the evil word and wait till Jesus comes again). Or, still yet, we have a hard time truly believing that God loves us just as we are – no, we think, there is no way that God loves me as I am, I haven’t done enough to earn that love and trust…. And so the reasons and the excuses go…

The reality is that God does love us. He does accept us as we are. He doesn’t sit up there smacking us on the head, He is down here with us, crying with us, hurting with us, rejoice with us, and walking with us. He is a God full of grace because He knows that grace changes us from the inside out. It is not the outward appearance or even our actions as much as it is about our heart. God knows that in repairing our hearts - and let’s face it, we all are screwed up on the inside! - He is breaking us free from the chains of evil and giving us a new life.

Yet this is a hard thing to learn…and it is even harder to put into practice as a little one screams and throws a fit.

And because it is hard, we need to be reminded of what God’s grace looks like and how to apply it to our lives. As Dr. Kemmel says over and over again, grace based parenting isn’t something you do, it is something you ARE!

Definitely worth the read. In fact, I would go a step further and pick up the companion video series and watch it with some other parents. That way you all can talk about the lessons and how to apply them. That is what my wife and I did, and it was amazing. =D

Most parents, whether Christian or not, want "good" children. Unfortunately, it's easy (and common) to think that "good" fits an appearance, and we can chase values that have little to do with a transformed heart and living faith.

It is easy to follow worldly goals for our children, as activities, friends, and appearance may be most easily measured. However, when we do this, we set a trap for ourselves and our children. We damage their hearts, restrict our relationship and influence with them, and may push them away from the true source of grace.

What should be the greatest gift - and difference - for a child raised in a Christian household?

GRACE. (Grace received, and grace given.)

Tim Kimmel delivers an exceptional view of parenting. He audaciously challenges parents to look into their own hearts, as well as their children. Meanwhile, he never loses sight of the call for believers to live in righteousness.

It is a balance that would trip up many, but this book avoids pushing a personal agenda by diving into - and wisely understanding - scripture.

If your hopes and prayers for your child include a living, growing, vibrant faith, then you must parent with grace. This is not always easy, and doesn't always result in perfect "looking" children. As the book explains, grace is not an absence of boundaries, and requires both discipline and direction.

Only a heart that is transformed can truly give and receive grace, and only grace can transform a heart. This book effectively argues that a grace-filled home will nourish a whole child, and grace-filled parents will introduce a gracious heavenly Father to their children's hearts. For those who want to see love, knowlege and faith grow in their homes, I highly recommend this book.

I have read many books on parenting including several books by Dr. Ezzo, Dr. Sears, "Shepherding a Child's Heart", "Creative Corrections", a child psychology book and a few others. I also have participated in Mom to Mom, MOPs and other young mom groups. Grace-Based Parenting has been one of my favorite books so far. I tend to be a more strict parent and sometimes have a hard time practicing grace, even though I want to. Tim Kimmel outlined the needs of children, the importance of Grace, what a Grace-Based home looks like and how to apply it. I would recommend this book to ANY parent, with young or old kids.

This is one of the most awful parenting books I’ve ever read. It claims to offer hope, but I see much more discouragement than hope. Each chapter begins with a story the author claims to have witnessed. They were hard to read with how overdramatized they were, and the author interjecting his judgmental opinion of the situation. I’ve tried to push through to finish the book, but at this point, more than 1/2 through, I’m not sure I can stomach any more.

I highly recommend this book! One important way this book helped me was by showing me the alternatives to grace-based parenting. In reading these it made me realize just how ungracious I so often am towards my kids. In the heat of the moment I have a bad tendency to be fear, shame or guilt-based in my parenting. I'm praying for grace to be gracious! This book has made me stop and consider if I believe God is a harsh Father who heaps shame on me and compares me to other Christians who seem to have it so much more 'together' than I do. So this book has helped me see God, myself and my kids in a different light. Kimmel encourages us to give our kids the freedom to be different and to make mistakes, while at the same time giving a "love that is secure, a purpose that is significant, and a hope that is strong." This is good stuff!

This amazing book changed our lives and revolutionized the way we parented our own kids. As a result, our kids have grown into amazing young men and women who love the Lord and serve Him because they want to; not because they feel they have to. My wife and I do a lot of family counseling and we use these principles in our own counseling. We've seen them work over and over again. We'll forever be grateful for Dr. Kimmel for writing this incredibly important book!

A fantastic book for any kind of parent out there. Tim Kimmel breaks down every step, way, level, experience (and so on) of parenting and relates it to you personally. My husband and I are doing the Bible study alongside this book and it's absolutely wonderful. Our lives have already changed over these last 2 weeks since starting the book/program. It is practical, faith-based, and is relatable in so many ways that won't leave you feeling left in the dark. Go get it - and enjoy! The relationship with your kids and your partner will never have been THIS good! x

I found "What's So Amazing About Grace?" by Philip Yancey (not a parenting book) to be a much better guide on grace than this book with its striking illustrations and concrete examples. This book was very hard to get into and I had to force myself to turn the pages, not because the message was unwanted but because there was little to take away or implement in my and my family's lives. To be sure, Yancey does not address parenting specifically, but "Grace Based Parenting" hardly does either. As a new parent, my hope is to start off on the right track and Mr. Yancey taught me a whole lot more about grace than Dr. Kimmel did.

This was a refreshing look (though, really not a new concept) at Biblical Parenting. I'm aware that there a mounds of books out there that deal with specific behavior issues and how best to quash them. What was wonderful about this book is the look at embracing the Grace that our Lord has shown us and blessing our children with it. By no means is this about being permissive or allowing our children to wander out into the world on their own, our children must have consequences for their actions just as we do for ours. However, Dr. Kimmel explains the future issues that often arrive by trying to strongly control our children and their environment. It is granting our children the same same unconditional-love relationship we know through the sacrifice of Christ that our Father in heaven gives all his children as well as the freedom to make decisions for themselves. It provides insight into fostering security through love, assisting in their purpose, and fortifying their hope.

Unfortunately, halfway through, he flips off the grace and ends with how spanking is a necessary part of parenting. It was disappointing to be so inspired and then let down so hard with a completely contradictory second half.

Do you wonder how children of Christ-following homes really differ from peers? There are lots of good kids out there - and many of them are not Christian. If appearance and behavior aren't the best measuring sticks for a God-infused life, than what is?

This book is excellent for any stage of parenting. Read it yourself, and get a copy for anyone you want to encourage. It renews the confidence and joy of parenting in faith.

The book gives lots of vivid examples. He explains the difference between a legalistic, rules-based home and homes of true grace (complete with moral boundaries and consequence for sin). He opens his own experiences, as well as others' (both good and bad). He is generous with scripture to give a firm foundation to his writing. He points out the pitfalls and traps that seem so attractive to parents who want the best for their kids. His solutions are not always the easiest or most popular, but he gives us a vision of raising children into authentic, faithful, strong adulthoods.

I found his writing refreshing, and the principles of his book empowering. If you hope your children will grow up transformed beyond surface behavior and appearances, I encourage you to read this book.

Powerful, make sure you take notes!

I did, too many things to list --

We all need grace, without grace we will not become what God wants us to be. Do we deserve it? No. But we need to show it each and every day to our children, because He shows us grace.

Dr Kimmel really expands on grace, a whole lot more, but you will to read it, recommend it, read it again.. pass it on..

My favorite from the book is: "Grace is the best advertisement for a personal relationship with the living God."

Read it you don't want to miss out!

I initially got this book because the mom's group I had joined was going to be reading it, but they changed their mind right after I bought it. I knew nothing of this book or it's author, but I decided to give it a try since I now owned it. And I am so happy I did.

In reading this book, I discovered how I can love my children and treat them with respect (yes, respect my children!) while giving them the discipline they need to grow up to be loving, respectful adults. I was also able to recognize the mistakes that my parents had made with their parenting style that I hadn't been able to understand before, and how I don't have to repeat that cycle with my own children.

Tim Kimmel describes the loving, graceful way you can (and SHOULD) raise your children in such a way that you will want nothing more than to transform your home into a grace-based one right then and there. He lets you know that raising your children the grace-based way can be simple and very forgiving. That if you make mistakes in the parenting department, you can ask for forgiveness - not only from God, but from your children as well. He begs the question: "Why should you expect your children to respect you if you don't respect them?" He presents the grace-based way so that it naturally makes sense that this IS the way all children should be parented.

This book is packed with sensible, understandable information, but I found it be a very quick read (3 days with a toddler running around!). I highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone wanting a way to parent that is different from what we've always been offered.

I just finished reading this book and I would highly recommend it. It is directed toward Christian parents but has principles that non-Christian parents can use. My favorite suggestion from his book,which he used in his own family, is the "What's Your Beef?" night.(pages 206-208) To promote respectful candidness in his family, this night allowed his children an opportunity to tell their parents anything that either of them had said or done to hurt them. "The qualification was that they couldn't bring up positions we had taken because of our moral standards(which they might have disagreed with) or consequences that we might have had to bring their way because of things they had done wrong...The key rule for Darcy and me when they shared these things from their hearts was that we were not permitted to defend ourselves...I might have been able to justify my words and actions from my perspective of the facts, but it would have only done harm. The point was, we had hurt them somehow, regardless of the facts."

He also gives an overall matrix that is very useful (what your child's three driving inner needs are and the four basic things you need to do to maintain a grace based environment)and uses many examples from his own family and others.

He also communicates grace for you as a parent, since we all fall short. This book gave me hope and a great start to create a grace based home without compromising moral standards I want to uphold. He does a great job of balancing the two since often we as parents go to either extreme of legalism or anything goes.

Unlike other books on Child-raising, this one was full of the hopeful possibilities inherent in just waking up and paying attention to your children. I recommend it not only as an help for learning how to raise kids, but also for anyone who has trouble understanding and incorporating Grace into their lives.

Amazing. I have read a number of parenting books and this one is by far the most helpful, the most hopeful. I have already shared my amazement of this book with my friends and also with other new moms and moms groups. How would anyone parent without this grace based perspective? This book has caused me to reflect on my own childhood as well as clarify the way I would like to raise our children. Kids are all different and we cannot parent them on a basis of fear. I am very grateful for Dr. Tim Kimmel and his willingness to share this hopeful and helpful perspective on parenting. If you are a parent or have ever been a parent, this is a must read.

I recently read this book after hearing Dr. Kimmel on a radio program. It is absolutely phenomenal. God has been leading me down the path of understanding His grace for some time now. I am a strong advocate of having an intimate, vibrant relationship with Jesus Christ, and I've been looking for ways to apply that grace to my parenting. This book completely reiterates everything I believe about God's grace and how to apply it in the home.

Let me be clear, we do not believe in a home of license - we have strong boundaries. But we don't make our son do things that aren't relevant. We don't force him to be quiet when there is no need to be. We let him be himself, well behaved, of course. I'm so impressed with this book that I've started buying it for young mommies and expecting mommies in my church. I'm blessed with a leadership team that is also committed to God's grace and leading people into a real relationship with Jesus.

This is probably the very best parenting book (other than the Bible) that I've read - and believe me, I've read them all. Dr. Kimmel should be commended for walking where God wants him to walk. More people need to be emphasizing God's grace.

Tim Kimmel is right - the title of this book made me nervous. Like many others, I was afraid that "graced" parenting equaled license and that I'd be stuck in a parenting nightmare for years. Delightfully, after reading GBP, I am really looking forward to the future years to see how my little ones grow up into their individual selves. This book also made me more confident of NOT home-schooling my children but letting them be lights in the darkness with me and their dad by their side to guide them. Give this book a chance to lighten your hearts that can be weighed down with the enormous task given to parents. It'll be worth it!

This book was excellent in teaching me to chill out and have fun with my kids. I was trying to make them behave by giving them too many rules to live by. This book showed me how to ease up and enjoy them. Take away some of the rules that just brought our family down and have fun while taking the opportunity to teach Gos'd love and grace when their hearts are open to hear it!

This book was a wonderful resource of good, sound and wise parenting for a generation of parents (like me) who struggle to balance all the different distractions and influences around us. It helped me meditate on my own parents (and childhood), my views of other parents and how to be a grace-based parent. Read the book to find out more!

In depth insights form of years of counseling experience combine forcefully with helpful illustrations, providing valuable and practical wisdom for every reader who is concerned about his or her family. This book unveils the secret to happy family and home. Each members have the potential to grow spiritually and become firmly established in their walks with God.

Sebastian Seet

Author of "365 Prophetic Promises & Blessings for Your Children"

I think every parent would benefit from reading Kimmel's book. One of the best aspects is his discussion of his own failures with his own children, but also his description of how he recovered from some of his mistakes.

This would be a good book for heavy disciplinarians to read, but I wonder if they would be able to take on board what he says.

A good aspect of the book is his discussion of how often parents base their discipline of their children on ensuring that other parents approve of them! How true!

There are many amusing and provocative anecdotes, which will make you think.

I also recommend H Norman Wright's "How to Talk So your Kids will Listen."