While I Was Gone (Oprah's Book Club)

Jo Becker is the kind of character that readers will love, partly because of Sue Miller's deliciously sensuous descriptions of her rather ordinary life. But Jo is also a protagonist the reader can feel superior to. As has been pointed out by critics, Jo throws over her family commitments in order to satisfy her impulses. The interweaving currents of her choices wound two husbands, a mother, and three daughters throughout the course of the novel, and it is easy for everyone (including the author herself) to disregard Jo as shallow. But Jo is a woman who, after all, is simply trying to find a place of inner mooring in a world that still regards the dark impulses of the psyche as things to be feared and disdained; her tragedy at midlife is that she has found no language through which to make a relationship with her own conflicting selves, and that she projects her "good" self onto family members who are all too eager to villify her. In the end, her attempt to find integrity--by reconciling with her past, by daring to flirt with her erotic self, and by going to the police with what she knows--is met with a stark reality that is too easily overlooked by the undiscerning reader: Misogyny is as alive in 1999 as it was in 1968.

I read "While I Was Gone" thinking Sue Miller would portray a woman as she reaches middle age....her family, her husband....but Miller more portrayed the dangers of what can happen to a family -- when one of the members is "gone." "Jo" was - emotionally - gone:"I felt suspended....waiting...between all of these worlds and part of none of them." Jo seems to be waiting for most of her life -- for something to happen. The waiting ends when a former housemate, Eli Mayhew, moves into Jo's town. She has not seen him for years. While Jo believs that his secretive behavior is a turn-on and brings the two of them closer together, it is actually his secretive behavior that brings the two of them together. It also makes Jo take another hard look at her life -- The message? I think, go NOWHERE -- it is true - there is NO place like home!!

I remember being stunned by the beauty of the writing in earlier books by Sue Miller. She hits her peak right at the start of this one, unfortunately. The first scene is beautiful, and...if you look closely, highly reminiscent of the final scene in one of her other, better books, FAMILY PICTURES. Both give the reader a sense of suspended time that is exquistely crafted. As this book was written much later, I consider it derivative to have tried to recreate the feeling I got from FAMILY PICTURES.
I did enjoy the "trip" back to the Boston of the 60's-70's, but the characters in Jo's commune- type house were poorly delineated. At times I was confused by the point of the whole thing. The weakly descibed men vis a vis the vibrant "life force" of the other woman, Dana, in the house--what was Miller's intention here? I needed way more heat generated and less descriptions of meals prepared (this shopping and preparing of food is a device she uses throughout the book I found exhausting. I never want to eat or cook another Holiday meal again!).
In the second half of the book, after the narrator's two worlds of past and present collide and intermingle, I didn't believe many of the scenes at a gut level. I didn't "grasp" why her husband put up with her, and I didn't like her children. And I didn't much like her, either. It's hard to go with a book one hundred percent when you aren't crazy about the person you are reading about.
I am a lover of Sue Miller's books, but this one did not move me. If you want to see how well this woman can write, try one of her earlier works.
best wishes,
Jean

I began this novel from Sue Miller and after over 100 pages I still wasn't sure I wanted to keep reading. The main character Jo Becker lives in a beautiful farmhouse with her minister husband and three almost grown children. She loves animals and is a veterinarian. One day a dog is brought to her office which leads her to discover a link to her past... the owner of the dog. She tells about running away from her first marriage and leading a bohemian lifestyle until one of her roommates was brutally murdered.
I just did not find this character very interesting, didn't really care why she kept running away from things and didn't care about who committed the murder. I don't think there was a lot in the book for me to connect to...
Overall, I still think I would give another novel by Sue Miller a chance, but I'd pass on this one. It just wasn't all that interesting.

I found much of this book compelling and was eager to keep reading. There is much here to enjoy. Ultimately, however, I found the book disappointing. I saw where the book was going long before it got there. I found the main character (and narrator) frustrating in her lack of insight and her poor judgment. Unlike "The Good Mother" where it was easy to see how the main character got into the predicament she ended up in, Jo's predicament seemed very avoidable.
While I was reading this book, a woman came up to me and asked me how I liked it. It seems that a friend of hers was finding it difficult to get into. That wasn't exactly my reaction, although very early on it's hard to figure out where the book is going.
All in all, I'd say the book is worth reading.

I have always enjoyed Sue Miller's books and "While I was Gone" was no exception.
The most memorable part of this book was four well written and beautifully descriptive scenes. The boat ride on the lake in the beginning and the ice skating scene later on was romantic and beautiful. Daniel's sermon on grief after the death of one his parishoners was poignant, and showed how a good minister can preach to a whole group but make you feel like he is talking to you personally. And what pet owner wouldn't shed a tear when poor Arthur had to be put to sleep.
Jo Becker, the main character of this book, I found to be selfish along with other reviewers, but thats what makes her seem so real to me. In real life people are not perfect and to show her flaws while keeping her likeable is just great writting. Even Daniel who seems so perfect shows another side to him, when he throws a tomato at Jo in anger.
This book was very enjoyable and hard to put down. I highly recommend reading this book or any other written by Sue Miller.

Try Sue Miller's other books, or read Rabid: A Novel by T.K. Kenyon or Bee Season: A Novel by Myla Goldberg.

I'm too young and too foreign to bring much to this book, but you shouldn't have to bring a similar history to enjoy and understand a book. I don't think I ever will understand why Americans in the 60's and 70's were so obsessed with very misrepresented Indian culture. The details seemed disjointed, and the culture of "free love" and bohemian living is so different from the type of world that I grew up in.

Beyond the setting and premise, the main character Jo Becker seems like a whiner who is always longing for something better than she's got. The ending was unsatisfying and unsettling, but not in a good way. My book club fantasized about more satisfying endings instead of discussing the book itself.

Sorry.

Minna

I thoroughly enjoyed this book and whilst I didn't always sympathisze with Jo's struggle to let go of her past, I had no trouble forging ahead quickly with this well written novel. To me, a great deal of what Jo clings to is not what happened in her past but of what she feels she missed out on from her past. Her difficult relationship with her daughters stems from the opportunities they are seizing in their youth but which she did not seize upon, despite opportunity, when she was "away". I admit that the ending was not quite as dramatic as I anticipated it to be, but in retrospect, some of the potential endings I was envisioning would have probably been too melodramatic. Sue Miller instead takes Jo to a place in her life where she finally accepts and appreciates the life and family she has.

Sue Miller has written a book which has her traditional twists and turns. Probably, her ability to present a flawed character while still garnering a reader's sympathy is her greatest aspect in this book. The main character, Jo alias Licia, tends to be evasive toward the other characters, even her own daughters. Her psychological distance is interpreted by the reader although her family constellation may be one possible cause although that is somewhat a disappointment. As the reader traverses the time span, the narrative skips between the present and past in a way that does not confuse the reader and the climax of the novel is not expected. The fallout though, is. If readers want a book that needs to be read in only a few days, this is the book. It presents characters who are defensive, dense, and believeable.
Janet Carroll, author of From One Bitch to Another

An interesting character study. Jo is both alienating and magnetic. A complex character, she is Every Woman, her life so perfect. But with every page you realize how untrue that is. She's lost in herself, and her many roles, she feels that each aspect of her life is so seperate, yet so easily does she fall from one to another. Her almost reckless abandonment of one life, in her youth for another, shows an almost schizophrenic personality division. She is running away to find herself. And yet in middle age, when life is seemingly blissfull, she abandons the comfortable for the danger of the known past. So simply does the story unfold, with its onion-like layers, it makes you feel you should have seen this coming. Mid-life crisis was never so dramatic. The author conveys the message that life is a complex journey, lessons to be learned and everything that happens has a reason. If the lesson has not been learned, unresolved issues will come forward. Worthwhile read.

What a slow star up book. The middle...the end...the entire book did nto flow as others I have read. Sue Miller created Joey, the main character. She was, as some middle aged women become, confused about what she wanted. The past was reintroduced to her by the meeting of the wife of Eli, a man she once knew. This sparked up a time when Jo lived as Licia (a nickname of sorts} in a house with other guys and gals... During this past one of the girls, Dana, is killed. The papers ripped their life style apart, but they never found out who committed the crime. Jo and her present husband, the minister, Daniel have three children. Their girls are brought into the picture...blablabla...one daughter is like Jo, one says Jo is SECRETIVE, one has piercings all over her body... I think my review is as confusing and out of place as this book. The story line brought in characters that, seemingly, had no impact on the whole story. Usually Oprah's book club picks are good, but I must disagree. You may want to take my advice and pass this book up. Move on to something that flows to one final point!

This book is heavy with angst, I suppose. I suppose, I did not care for any of the characters. It was actually depressing, I suppose. All the characters sounded alike to me. How many times can one say, "I suppose," in a novel. Well, I wished I had started counting from the beginning, because there must be over 100 "I supposes." It was so distracting!!! After a while it was about how many "I supposes," I could find in one page. And all the characters spoke the same. And Daniel, please for being a minister he sure knows how to meet out punishment, for a crime that never even happened. Oh my God. If you have limited time, skip this book!

Sue Miller is very descriptive, but sometimes it takes pages for anything to actually happen. I did not see the main character as a heroine at all. I thought she was selfish and expected everyone else to make her happy. I also don't know why she felt so antsy when she had run away from her life once before. Perhaps she should have never married or had a family. She didn't seem to be grateful at all. And how did she just happen upon a veterinary degree? I was disappointed with this novel as a whole.

This book was in places very beautifully written but for all of that I found the heroine and the choices she made quite selfish. Here's a woman with a loving husband, a prosperous career she loves and not a worry in the world. She's willing to toss it all away because, to me, she seems either bored or regretful that her life is so easy (we should all be so lucky!). This made her very difficult to sympathize with and made me want to strangle her. I did enjoy the fact that in the end her "problem" was going to stare her in the face for a good number of years to come. Serves her right, if you ask me . . .

Jo Becker has a loving husband, three adult daughters and a couple of dogs - an enviable lifestyle - if perhaps not idyllic. The appearance of an acquaintance, Eli Mayhew, reawakens memories from her past with startling revelations. This is a tension-filled, easily readable book that races towards an anti-climatic conclusion.
I would have preferred a suitable explanation to Dana's murder. It just happened and then - voila - 30 years down the line, the murderer confesses. I did enjoy reading this well-written book, especially the beautiful sermon by Daniel which was so inspiring. However, I found the ending rather unsatisfactory, particularly the outcome of the murder of Dana.
Some minor flaws were evident which did not deter from my enjoyment of the book. All in all - a very good book.

I would have awarded this book 5 stars except for the following: First, I believe it's appeal is primarily to people in their 50's like the narrator and main character, Jo, because people this age experienced firsthand the turbulent social and sexual climate of the late 60's/early 70's, and therefore understand Jo's confusion about her loyalties to family/husband/herself/friends. Second, since the story is told from a woman's viewpoint, without doubt different from the ways a man might have interpreted and acted in the various situations, the book will attract more female readers and may not have the broad gender - and age - crossover appeal to warrant 5 stars. Still, as a woman in her fifties, I was profoundly moved by the "humanness" of the characters, who depict many of the same conflicts of emotions and temptations I have experienced. The author has woven an intricate, thought-provoking tale about real people with believable problems, and a vivid evocation of a time of change and energy in our nation\s history.

While Miller writes well in a mournful way, a feminine counterpart to Chris Bohjalian's mournful men, this comment is directed at her disparaging treatment of scientists. She presents Eli Mayhew as a cold, emotionally bereft misfit, as a person who does not measure up to the remainder of the characters (most of whom are artists, ministers, or blue-collar workers). Ultimately he is revealed to have committed a deranged act. Miller creates an image no better than that of the 1950-era movie mad scientist. She could have chosen a less anti-intellectual way to construct the participants in her story. Carl Witthoft (physicist, musician, athlete, and most of all father)

One previous reviewer who said that this book raised some real moral questions was right on point. Unfortunately, the author raises the questions but in a way that makes the characters unrealistic. My first advise to Jo (or what ever she chose to call herself) was that she should have let the dead lay dying. What happened in the past should have stayed in the past. I listened to this book on the abridged audio cassette so maybe I missed any development of Jo's relationship with her first husband. But I felt that she "kind of did him wrong." She just got up and left one day. Maybe the hurt she inflicted on him came back on her eventually with Daniel. Frankly, I did not like the character of Jo. She was just as much a liar as other characters in the book. For an audio book it kept my interest, but I had real problems with the plot. Do people really live this way? And a minister's wife also? Did Jo have any involvment with her husband's church? From what I heard she didn't even go. I guess you could say "read it and weep" but I would say a liar is a liar and judge not less you be judged.

Shortly after I divorced, I picked up While I Was Gone, the story of a flawed heroine, happily married for 25 years, whose impulsive betrayal comes awfully close to destroying her family. I immediately recognized myself in Jo, a woman whose mind is invaded by a persistent restlessness. A woman "dislocated from her past, from her present, from her own reflection in the mirror."

But, more, I was interested in the manner in which Jo dealt with consequences. Despite loving her husband, Jo comes dangerously close to having an affair. The act is interrupted, not by conscience, but by a twist in the plot. Forced to tell her husband the whole sordid story, she must then endure the byproduct of her faithlessness:

"Each day now, too, I woke and felt something very like that agonized wrench of childhood. Sometimes Daniel was not in bed with me. He'd gotten up, sleepless, and gone to one of the girls' rooms. Or out to his study. Then, the disorientation, the pain, lay in his absence, in my aloneness in the bed...I would be returning, too, with a sinking weight in what felt like my heart, to what I'd done. To all it seemed I'd destroyed. It was like waking over and over again to an illness, a long fever I could not recover from. "

While she considers ending the marriage to alleviate their pain, unlike me, Jo chooses to stick it out.

"A week passed since I had met Eli. Then ten days. The world froze and we froze in it...I felt I was living on pure will. Every act was a deliberate one, costly and difficult...While below our tepid, empty exchanges, the deep moat of silence widened between us."

When I was almost finished with the book, my ex-husband stopped over to pick up our kids. He was unhappy, the kids were unhappy, and, feeling the cause of it all, I had to wonder, as I'm prone to do, if I'd been too hasty. I hadn't really given him the chance to try and fix things. I probably hadn't even presented a clear list of my harbored grievances. I hadn't the guts that our heroine Jo did. I hadn't the courage to allow my husband to express his pain for months on end. I wanted out before that horror show began. I hadn't wanted the fights I knew were looming, the recriminations, and that injured look on his face put there by my betrayal. I hadn't wanted to live in the aftermath of my breach of faith. To have my nose rubbed in a puddle of guilt.

I had lacked the perseverance to wait out the storm. I hadn't the patience to unravel the hundreds of hurtful incidents knotted hopelessly together that, when separated from the whole, could only appear stupid and petty.

For the longest time I believed that the moral of While I Was Gone is that time heals all pain. That there's no such thing as an instant fix. That you can't just snap your fingers and get over a trauma. Who said these things take a month, or even a year? Who created these arbitrary time lines anyway?

But, upon second reading, a different aspect of Jo astounds me. Like me, Jo is a woman secretive by nature, a quirk she also inherited from her parents. "For it wasn't the secret-the secret that wasn't a secret anyway-that had led to the austerity in our lives. It was the austerity that led to the secret. And what I had been marked by, probably, most of all, was the austerity. It had made secrets in my life too."

Of course I knew from long-standing experience that when you're secretive, you're really terrified of truth. Because to reveal yourself by telling what is so, is to risk confrontation,disappointment, rejection, and disgust. Evasion isn't sexy and mysterious. It's just a cheap slipcover for a lack of self worth.

How incongruous that all the while you present the false self, what you truly long for is raw intimacy. "It seems we need someone to know us as we are-with all that we have done-and forgive us. We need to tell. We need to be whole in someone's sight: know this about me, and yet love me. Please."
Jo's struggle isn't about facing her husband's pain, it's about facing herself.'
'
For the first time in her life, she must be honest about her actions, about who she is at her core.

"And I think I hoped, too, that there would be a way made available for my words not to mean what they had seemed to mean. But I was also desperate to have Daniel's sympathy, desperate for him not to feel what he was bound to feel. Desperate to imagine I still had the power to make things right....I think what I had hoped was that by pretending things were better between us I could make them become better. I think I did hope that there was something I could do or say that would make a difference. But the lesson I was learning was that everything I did partook of me, of the things in me that had made him turn away in the first place. I saw that I couldn't for the moment, try to change things with him. That when I did, I would inevitably do it in my own unwelcome way, and that would only make things worse...I would be secretive, because that was something that was part of me. I would sweep too much of his pain aside, because I so wanted it to be over, because I tried to make things happen at my own pace."

Looking back all those years ago, knowing what I know now, I realize that what I most wanted to avoid by staying in my marriage was remaining my self. "It wasn't that I had been conscious of falsifying myself when I was living my other life. I'm sure I hadn't. I think, in fact, that I was barely conscious of having a self in that world." Locked in that dynamic, ashamed of who I was, I would never have experienced intimacy, the way I do now. I know that the secret to intimacy is remaining above board.

Sue Miller is among my favorite authors and I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Her incredible storytelling and attention to detail made me feel a part of Jo & Daniel's family. I identified with many of Jo's emotions about marriage, middle-age, and family bonds, yet the amazing thing is, I'm single, 34-years-old, and don't have, nor desire to have, any children. The one thing Jo and I did have in common was animals -- I work at an animal shelter and loved the fact her character was a vet.
I did have some problems with the book, though. I liked the pacing in the beginning when Miller went back to Jo's days in the Cambridge house. Her description of the closeness amongst the house members was similar to my Boston college experience. I spent my sophmore year living that lifestyle of casual sex, drugs and late-night "house talks." But after Dana's murder the book dragged on a bit. While I was interested in Jo's family life with Daniel and the girls, I felt that the middle of the book broke the momentum that Miller had going in the beginning. This was frustrating and while I understand her reasons for slowing down I couldn't wait for the chapters where Jo & Eli would come together. Daniel's response to Jo's revelation about her meeting with Eli was frustrating too because I felt that his character would have made the effort to sort through things much more quickly. Their long-term distance from one another almost seemed out of character on both of their parts.
I will definitely continue to read Sue Miller's books. She is a truly gifted writer that captures whatever moment she is attempting to portray. Great book!

This novel is very well written. The protagonist, Jo, seems to have everything in life: a loving husband, beautiful children, a good job..... Yet, she doesn't seem happy. This book takes us through a time in her past that is revisited when she runs into an old roommate. A time of her life that she has tried to leave behind and not deal with. Jo doesn't even confide in her husband who is a minister, and at times he seems "too good to be true".It is a book of self-revelation. A journey for Jo that we, as the reader, are propelled into. This was one of those books that I found hard to put down.

Sue Miller takes a mundane subject like reuniting with an old house mate, and gives it enough unexpected variation to make it interesting and believable. Jo, the once 20ish free spirit, is now in her 50s, a veterinarian, a mother, and the wife of a minister. By a series of coincidences, she runs into an old friend, Eli, and he solves a 30 year old murder mystery (in a way she doesn't expect). Her actions from that point forward teach two valuable lessons, that Eli isn't the person she remembers and that her own emotions can't be trusted. Jo, at times is an unsympathetic character, but, while reading this book, I kept thinking, aren't we all.

Sue Miller wrote an excellent book---putting into words the emotions alot of women have. I have a rather dull life (I would not have it any other way), but you do sometimes wonder where other paths will lead. In some ways I am envious of Jo---she has experienced both sides---the tawdry and the innocent---and has come to realize that the innocent is not all that bad. But at least she had the experience, and will take it with her forever. So remember 'thou who cast the first stone shalt be without sin', and read "When I was Gone". It is wonderful.

My reading group read this book. Everybody in the group reallyliked the book. I could understand how Jo got caught up in the past.( I felt it was a believeable scenario) Sometimes when we're going day to day raising a family working, trying to make ends meet etc etc. Then something comes back to remind us of our past and the "carefree days" you can get caught up in it, and romanticize about the past. When Jo runs into this man from her past she gets caught up in it. And almost throws everything away. She also never seems quite satisfied with her life no matter how good things are. In the end she doesnt go through with. But not because she relizes what she is doing is wrong, and just plain dumb, but because of other circumstances. I took away from this book is that Yes! life when you were younger may have been happy go lucky and more carefree than what you have now. But if you have a good life now dont throw it away to try to recapture the past. Leave the past in the past and go on and be happy of where you are right now!

This book captured my attention for a number of reasons; the quality of writing, character development and story progression are all outstanding. It also related directly to my age group--the story of a mid-life woman, secure in a job and marriage, suddenly jolted into remembering the woman she used to be, before becoming the wife, mother and successful career woman she is now. The descriptions the author gives, of emotions, of family relationships, and of the things one values in life, are unbeatable, and speak directly to those things we each hold dear.

Unlike "The Good Mother", this novel hits hard. Really hard. One can't help but identifying with the heroine, Joey Becker. There are not many lapses in this book. Get ready for "tension" to permeate your cells as you place yourself in Joey Becker's shoes. This can be a hard read for people with ulcers. There is no "letting" up as the heroine confronts a reality that she really can't bear. The novel becomes more frozen as you read. Frozen with ice until you feel like you want to scream. It's a great book and a marvelous read.

I thought the book was well-written but somewhat dark. Jo seemed to be afraid of any significant emotional committment throughout her life; consequently, she seemed somewhat shallow. I couldn't help wondering if she was drawn to her second husband -- a minister -- as someone 'good' who would counteract the 'bad' things that had happened during her life in Cambridge. It appeared that she just wanted a 'safe' life, a life that wouldn't make too many demands on her emotionally. I also felt that this inability to commit was probably why she became a Vet -- animals love unconditionally and require very little in return. All in all, a thought-provoking book.

When Oprah announced this as her latest pick, I was happy because this book has been sitting in my bookcase for over a year waiting for me to read it. I finished it in two days and was happy I finally had the impetus to read a Sue Miller offering. She is a gifted and talented writer but in this book she gives you a main character, Jo Becker, who you love at times and want to strangle at others. It's terrible to say but during the book I kept saying to myself, "what a jerk she is." I know that's not a great descriptive word but it fits. This is a character who always thinks there is something better around the corner and although she's been married for 25 years, wanderlust is lurking around every corner. While devoted at times (to animals), I found her shallow both in the way she treated her husband's profession as well as her daughters. Over the years, Jo had lived a kind of quirky lifestyle and 25 years later, an old friend comes back into her life and wreaks havoc. The unfortunate thing is that it didn't have to be this way but wonderful Jo allowed it to be. For anyone who has lived through the 60's or even thought about free, communal living and is now living in just the opposite lifestyle, you will probably find this book as page-turning as I did. I felt that I was rushing the book because I wanted to see how it would end. This is not your typical Oprah dysfunctional family book set in the South -- rather it is set in the North but a bit dysfunctional all the same. Definitely worth the read.

I'm trying to diversify my reading. Chose this one based solely on blurbs.

Writing is good, competent, but not magical or even making me want to anxiously flip the pages.

The character is a bit cliched...and there is too much telling and self-examination used to move the story forward.

If Miller had chosen to delve into a relationship crisis, I think Jo and Dana would have been much more interesting...much more interesting to follow and see how it resolves itself. Miller skimmed the surface of possibilities with those two, but then didn't ultimately "go there", as another reviewer said.

I read some of Miller's bio and it seems she definitely tries to write what she knows...

An okay read redeemed by good writing and a few memorable scenes.

I was intrigued through the entire reading of While I Was Gone. The characters are multi-faceted and flawed, but very real. I enjoyed reading the intimate details of Jo Becker's life. Having lived in Cambridge, I could personally relate to the lifestyle described. The story felt real to me.

Perplexing. How can fine writing and insightful character development render a boring novel with unlikable characters? Jo was not a sympathetic heroine but she was believable and clearly drawn but Daniel? It was as if being a minister was just a job. There was a total lack of understanding of how central Jesus would be throughout their life. If Sue Miller didn't want to go there, why make him a minister? And the daughters are Hollywood fiction material. There was an interesting plot that couldn't quite survive the endless narration. Overall, I was disappointed because it had so much potential.

This was my first experience reading Sue Miller. I was drawn to the book by the multitude of good reviews from reputable publications, and those reviewers were right about this work. It resonates, it moves, it captures character, memory, emotion, and some of the mystery of human nature. The characters became so life-like for me while I was reading that I found myself thinking about them, psychoanalyzing their motivations, seeing their faces in front of me. I guess the book reached me in particular because I fall into Jo and Daniel's generation. I too experienced life in a group house in the late sixties and early seventies and I easily related to all the yearning and pent up idealism of those times. A word about Sue Miller's penchant for detail: I think what good literature does is sort out the details of living and make a work of art from them. The details draw you in, and finally produce emotional impact that stays with you. So if you have no patience for detail and just want lots of action, a la trash novels, stay away from this one. I for one am happy I discovered Sue Miller. The Good Mother is next.

This novel was more about forgiveness ultimately. I believe in forgiveness, because I want to be forgiven. At times I didn't like Jo very much. I found her a little self centered. The author shows all sides of Jo's character, leaving you loving her and not liking her at times. What a wonderful husband she has. She is so full of life and fantasies. But we need to careful about how far we take them, don't we Jo. I don't want to give away anything so just read it, its worth the time.

Life is full of reinventing ourselves. Maybe we all don't remake ourselves to the level that Jo does when she transforms herself more than once in this book, but I think everyone can identify with the need to change, to evolve. While I Was Gone takes us through many of Jo's defining moments and allows us to travel those new beginnings with her. A beautifully crafted book with an unexpected twist in the plot, While I Was Gone was a thought provoking, powerful read.