How to Break Your Addiction to a Person - When--and Why--Love Doesn't Work

This book provides a well-organized look at the way in which our "attachment hunger", as Halpern names it, motivates us to stay in intimate relationships which may or may not be healthy for us. As a Ph.D. student in Clinical Psychology, I found this book to be a welcome bridge between the traditional theories of attachment and my actual life experiences. It was also a wonderful aid in my personal quest to form an identity based not on a "significant-other", but upon myself and my comfort with being alone. This is a book I will be glad to recommend to clients and friends alike, as it offers a practical application to a theory-based problem.

I discovered this book at a perfect time...in between a break up and another go round with him. Reading this book has allowed me to not only open my eyes to my own self-defeating habits, but has also allowed me to tap into my little explored self-conscious. I now feel like I have a better handle on why I am who I am, why I've done what I've done in relationships, why I never allowed myself to be alone...and more importantly, how to control these things.

It wont permanently fix you because it will take a lot of time and work to follow the advice of this reading, but it will set the wheels in motion. The rest will have to be a conscious effort. As I type this review I also acknowledge how much work is still ahead of me, but I go forward with the knowledge that I have the power to make those changes.

After being deeply involved with a married man for over 5 years, I recently ended the relationship, finally accepting that promises and plans to end his marriage were not to be. I was nearly paralyzed with grief and despair and read a bevy of break-up self help books which offered "advice" of no real substance... until "How To Break Your Addiction To A Person". This book delves into the "how" and "why" we get into, stay in and have great difficulty ending relationships we know are no good for us. Highly recommend this gem of a book if you're going thru a break up or can't understand why healthy relationships seem out of your grasp.

I had been involved in an addictive relationship for over 3 years and had been through numerous break-ups with this person, only to see him and fall right back into it all over again. I felt so much pain and heartache both with him and without him. This book allowed me to discover once and for all that this relationship was always leaving me feeling out of control and like my life was going down the tubes! I am thankful for this book for it woke me up to the truth and afforded me great insight into myself and why I was choosing this man to be in relationship with. I really have benefited from this book along with psychotherapy. I have been saved!!!

This book is totally amazing at how well it knows the human condition, and how it can trace back to the beginning of our lives in such a refined and raw manner. It makes you stop and think, and there is no escape as to excuses or denial...........we are a product of our past, and this book makes you VERY well aware of what you cannot hide if you want to improve. It makes you reflect back on many issues and reasons as to why you reacted the way you once did, and by buying this book, you have the power to refine and recondition yourself, to reopen all the wounds, and then to overpower them and heal once and for all. It is "mind-blower" book!!! Dawn Hamilton

This title is amazing in its well rounded approach to dealing with addiction to another person. Using both stories and psychological analysis it is able to not only help you understand where the feelings of addiction come from, but it also helps you realize that you can overcome these crippling emotional ties. I found myself interested in the progress and stories of the individuals in the book which made the book a very easy read. While many self-help books can be weighty and difficult to finish, I found myself wanting to pick this book up again and again.

There are a wide variety of obsessive, addictive, compulsive situations, and the author focuses exclusively on people breaking up from a relationship. If that is where you are coming from (and most people will be), the book is excellent because it covers the internal thinking that goes on in your head and how you can transform that into something more realistic and objective. I really liked that and found it beneficial.

My concern is that some of the most dysfunctional addictive situations are NOT based on actual relationships, and the author should at least touch on these. For instance, how about a high school student who has an obsession with one of their teachers? The book is pretty lengthy, so to intentionally exclude such cases just seems wrong to me.

I read an earlier copy of this book, but I can see that only the cover has changed for 2003, not the contents. Maybe a second edition could address my concerns.

The brightly coloured cover and the snappy title had me expecting something less substantial from this book and I was pleasantly surprised! It is a meaty read with clear explanations, constuctive advice and exercises to help the reader out of this emotional trap. Well worth the cash and the time.

This book does have some interesting parts. I wanted to see and learn more about myself, but went away without much more than I've already learned. There are some interesting stories about other people, some I could understand, and others I really could not relate. So I gave the four stars if perhaps there are people out there that can relate to the stories of other people.

If you feel you have an addictive personality, then this book might help you to see that pattern. I recommend it for that purpose. Another book that was my saving grace in ridding my "hold" on another person that was just not good to me is Barbara Rose's "Stop Being the String Along". I feel that if you're in pain over a person, you will receive life changing insight. Give both books a try, they can only help you.

I thought this book was really well written. Although, some of the chapters did not apply to me and although I am not currently in an addictive relationship, I recognized some of the self-defeating patterns presented in the book. I recommend this book to anyone who has had trouble getting over someone (ex-boyfriend/girlfriend) or has had trouble leaving past relationships out of the present.

After reading several reviews online I visited my local B&N, sat for a few minutes reading the opening pages, compared it to some others and ended up taking it home. I'm halfway through already but am finding that it's lacking in help. While it contains some valuable information and quick tips, I feel it's relying/blaming too much on my parent's rearing. I'm still waiting for the brilliant wisdom to shine through as so many had said it would. Will post again if it gets any better but for now I must say, so far? No good.

This book was not only informative but an excellent resource for anyone going through a bad relationship. I would recommend this book for all ages of they wish to succeed in "breaking your addiction to a person"

Reading this book was one of the cornerstones & turning points in my recovery from relationship addiction. I read it cover to cover in a few days, rinsed & repeated. It was recommended to me by someone very knowlegable on relationship issues and I recommend it VERY HIGHLY.

the service was very good, i would use the vendor again. the book came sooner than promised. I did not like the book, it seemed like it was written in two days, cheap writing, I had no problem with the vendor. I would not recommend the book to anyone.

The insights represented in the book have been key to helping me take purposeful steps to begin to realize God's best for me.

Addiction will almost always lead to destructive behaviour. The insight here helped me understand how, through my addiction I had placed a relationship before God - and with the end of the relationship a couple of years ago, I took a path that would surely have led to my destruction.

It was an incredibly painful eye opener - I chose to sin after a break-up, yet my break-up was not with God - so why did I betray God? Howard Halpern's book will encourage you to find that source of insecurity and need for validation and help you on a road to realizing the gem that lies inside every one of us.

I would recommend picking this book up, going through the table of contents and selecting three key topics that are most relevant to you right now and dig in. You will be blessed for taking the chance.

This book offered very helpful insights and reminders about the influence of subconcious influences in our intimate relationships. It's very Freudian but helpful none the less, at least as a reminder of where to look within for answers. It didn't really help me abandon my relationship but it has helped me put my difficulty into a healthier framework and bring some compassion to myself on the matter.