A Journal of My Son's First Son - Some Assembly Required

This doesn't seem like a finished book, and certainly doesn't meet the standards Anne La Mott sets for herself and her students. It's a repetitive, whiny, hodge podge of journal entries, emails, interviews with her son and endless conversations with her mentors, who have endless patience for her over-dramatizing and complaints. My biggest problem is with the writing itself. It's unpolished,and some of the sentences were like nails scraping a chalk board, full of cliches and language used in speech but not in good prose. The story needed to be shaped into a compelling narrative. I gave up halfway through. Wasn't worth the slog.

I didn't read Operating Instructions. In fact, the only Lamott I have read is Bird by Bird, which I enjoyed.

This is probably only the second book ever that has motivated me to leave a negative review. I even took some time to think about it--two weeks, in fact. And two weeks later I am still fired up about it, still deeply uncomfortable when I think about it, still shaking my head over the utter nuttiness of this woman.

Because Lamott might be the worst mother-in-law ever. Okay, she's not technically a mother-in-law, but that's the relationship she has with Amy, her son's girlfriend. And laced throughout the book, nearly on every page, is Lamott judging, snarking, passive-aggresively reflecting, and whining about this young woman. This 19 year old woman who got pregnant after a short relationship with Lamott's son. A NINETEEN YEAR OLD. WHO GOT PREGNANT. SHE'S NINETEEN. Yet Lamott sees her as a threat to her highly-controlled world. (She even casually references feeling competetive with Amy and Amy's young, cute friends. What? How unevolved is that? Please god, if I feel that way when I'm in my 50s, put me out of my misery.)

Watching Lamott fight for control over the lives of her son's young family (while at the same time resenting the very financial help she offers) is painful. It's painful not just because the writing is so contrived and effortfully poetic, but also because Lamott goes on and on and on and on and on about her anxieties, her fears, her obsessions, her every.single.thought and she brings every single loved one into it over and over. Lamott seems to be of the belief (funnily, like many 19 year olds might be) that if she tosses out a disclaimer of her behavior, then it's okay. As in, "I'm a basketcase! But you love me anyway! Now watch while I think terrible things about people and then pat myself on the back for not actually showing those thoughts."

The inclusion of Sam's interviews do little to help this book. Because nobody talks that way. Nobody in the whole world talks that way. And yeah, I'm fine with some liberal editing, I mean, ver batim doesn't tend to work well in print. But either he was forced into the unnatural position of prepping his responses, or they've been edited to be "literary" and instead come off as unnatural and highly contrived.

I think the worst audience for this book is a woman with a baby and an involved mother in law. And that's me. So I can allow that my review is likely biased. But young/new moms, if you are thinking about reading this book, please first accept that all of the terrible things you worry your mother in law thinks about you? This will not help those anxieties. This book will make you deeply uncomfortable. This book will make you want to lock yourself in a room with your baby. And if your mother in law comes to the door, you will likely not be able to prevent yourself screaming, "NO! He's MINE!" like some kind of lunatic.

This is the humble offering of an ardent and longtime Lamott fan for the title of the (hopefully) inevitable memoir of Jax's son's first year. And for the lesson I always learn from Anne in the most delicious, hilarious, brilliant possible way: Life is not perfect. People are not perfect. Most important, WE are not perfect, and we do need to settle for less perfection in life than we had perhaps hoped for. The good news is that we never need to settle when it comes to spiritual connection, a lesson always reinforced for me by Anne Lamott. I loved Operating Instructions (and all of Anne's books) and was thrilled to download this one right away on Audible. It was an absolute joy. Very dear to hear both Anne and Sam's voices and I am filled with gratitude to both of them for sharing their journeys so transparently. And Anne, BLESS YOU for being you, fears and joys and schadenfreude and all, because it goes a long way in helping me to accept being me. Because this book is not really about Jax, and this review isn't really about your book. The book is about you and the review is about me, as everything we write is ultimately about ourselves. But because your "story" is so much like mine (well except for the brilliant successful writer part!) I can read about you and learn about me. Which is also why I love memoir.

So I have three thousand favorite lines from this literally laugh-out-loud funny book but because I listened to it rather than read it I can't go back and repeat them here. Anyway I wouldn't want readers to miss the chance to enjoy each gem yourselves. One very awesome line I do remember is attributed to Anne's friend Tom: "Either you learn to live with paradox and ambiguities or you will be six years old for the rest of your life." Ain't it the truth. I don't always like paradox and ambiguity but I like being my age and hope I live long enough to read the next installment of Lamott History.

When Anne Lamott was almost 40, she received some life-altering news: she was pregnant. Unfortunately, she was also single, and making a living on a fluctuating writer’s income. Despite her panic, or maybe because of it, Lamott turned a fearsome event into a brilliant memoir. Almost 20 years later, Lamott’s son, Sam, finds his girlfriend in a similar situation, and so begins the birthing of Some Assembly Required, a Journal of My Son’s First Son. Part diary, part interview, part survival guide, at turns hilarious and heartbreaking, Some Assembly Required picks up where Operating Instructions left off if you don’t count the twenty intervening years. The book ostensibly chronicles the first year of Lamott’s grandson, Jax Jesse Lamott’s life, but as with all Lamott’s books, it’s really a testament to the power of love and family and redemption. Co-authored with her son, Sam, who wanted Jax to have a book of his own, mother and son deliver insightful observations of the minutiae of child rearing and child spoiling amidst a healthy sprinkling of Lamott’s trademark universal truths. Sam inherited his mother’s sublime wit, and Lamott has not lost a bit of her own.

From within the pages of Some Assembly Required rises the voice of a wise woman, one who’s got the scar tissue to prove it, and her baby adult son, not even old enough to legally drink, having just reached the double-decade mark, yet raising an infant son of his own. Sam may have it tough: full time workload at school, full-on parenting responsibilities, tempestuous relationship with his girlfriend, Amy, but Lamott always had it tougher. The comparisons, spanning those twenty years sometimes make it difficult for her to forget it. Where Sam and Amy can always run to Lamott for help, financial, babysitting, whatever, Lamott never had that luxury. Not that she holds it against them (well, maybe the teeniest of bits). Rather, she continually offers her friendly motherly advice while also realizing that they have the right to screw up their own lives. Mother knows best, after all, and one day, they may realize it, too. While Lamott may not have all the answers, but she’s developed a set of practical tools for dealing with the issues: chocolate, mindful breathing, naps, chocolate, reaching out to wise friends, a good book, chocolate.

Like the Sword of Damocles, dangling above Lamott’s head is the ever present possibility that Amy may take Jax and hightail it back to Chicago, Amy’s hometown and the place where her extensive family and support structure resides. Such a move would essentially devastate Sam and Anne although it’s not clear who would suffer more. To calm herself, Lamott engages her coping strategies of seeking friends’ wise counsel, her own acerbic wit, and food, mainly chocolate. Repeat as necessary.

So many things happen in Some Assembly Required -- it is a full year in the life of a new baby and his exhausted parents, grandparent, and various and sundry friends and relatives -- but in the end, nothing out of the ordinary really happens. Yet chronicling the beauty and grace of an ordinary life is a hallmark of Lamott’s writing and why we love her. That and because of her gift to tell a tale in exquisitely lyrical terms, as if each day is like an unwrapped present, waiting to be opened and enjoyed. Some Assembly Required is Christmas morning, as gift upon gift is opened on its pages. Every page will break your heart wide open.

For fans of Anne Lamott this book will be another satisfying read. The book provides more of her reflections on life with a mixture of progressive Protestantism and American culture motifs. Some Assembly Required chronicles the first year of her Grandson and the changes that are brought about by being a grandmother and having a daughter-in-law who is conflicted in her status as mother and wife.

An addition to this book is sections written by her son, Sam. Readers of Lamott's books will be familiar with Sam as she has told stories about him throughout her books. These intermixed chapters provide refreshing breaks from Anne Lamott's tendency to provide a bit too much introspection at the cost of not recognizing the world around her.

However, while there is a certain interest in hearing both of these voices, there was something that was missing in comparison to other books by her. There was a certain "phoned-in" quality to the book. The freshness and vibrancy of her prose seemed to have fallen a bit flat for this book. It would not be that surprising, much of her comments are about how tired she is. Perhaps part of the reason is the journal style of the book. The book is arranged by dates in a journal. It is not stated how much editing went into the journal entries for publication, but this format lends itself to the flatness of the prose.

I bought this used book and it was advertised in "very good" condition. Evey page is has underlined and there are notes written in it and there is a grocery list in the back and the back cover is torn.

I ordered the kindle edition, but I'm appalled at the baby foot on the cover of the print edition. The baby is described over and over again as brown-skinned. That foot should be cinnamon or coffee-colored. Shame on the publisher!

You one-star people - lighten up! The author's just being honest. This story is studded with gems. The writing is nuanced, uncensored, breathtaking, i.e. the description of spring (April 27). Anne Lamott always captures the complexity and messiness of human existence. Sorry, it isn't always pleasant and agreeable. I did feel sorry for Amy because it's obvious that Anne doesn't like her very much. For me, her (AL's) intensity is softened by her self-awareness and the struggle to overcome her faults. Many of you are quick to criticize, but it takes a lot of courage to write a book like this.

I didn't give this book five stars because I do get tired of the device of Anne's neuroticism, followed by the epigrammatic wisdom of Tom or Bonnie, followed by resolution. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Nevertheless, many of AL's insights have real impact for me. Four stars.

I read Anne Lamott's book Operating Instructions as a teenager and fell in love with her style and simplicity. I re-read it again as a mom and found even more to savor. Her latest book covering her journey as a grandmother was just as touching and wonderful. Anne explains thoughts and feelings simply and gives you things to think over long after the book has ended. I loved the way she combined her journey along with her son's providing both new parent and new grandparent prospective. My favorite take away from this was Anne's idea of ask and allow - I plan on incorporating this in my everyday life as well.

Loved the audio book -- Anne Lamott has a terrific reading voice. Even better is her son Sam's! Thoroughly enjoyed this and it took me back 20 years to Operating Instructions. Already looking forward to more A.L. on grandson Jax's second year. Extra side stories on India and the Baltics were good filler and gives the reader -- as well as Anne -- a break from the baby.

I completely agree with another reviewer that the audiobook version of this book is TERRIBLE. Anne's voice (& Sam's) is so monotone and irritating that I had to give up on the book about 1/3 of the way through the cd's. I might pick up the hardcover book because I DO enjoy her writing and the story was good, but Anne REALLY needs to hire a professional to record her audiobooks.

As usual, Lamott does a courageous job of illustrating the joys and pitfalls of developing intense connections with other human beings. As much as we would all love to think we parent or grandparent with dewy-eyed, selfless intentions, the truth is that all human beings -- even the most compassionate and generous ones -- can be selfish and mistaken and desperate. Lamott paints a picture of humanity in this book that defies the perfectionism that infects our society so insidiously. She does so many of us a huge favor by exposing the complexity of true love, and her rendering of that love seems to me so much more vibrant and real as a result.

Stumbled onto this book late in its journey--but just in time for a new grandson. This book is honest, authentic and life-giving. Life is about the shadow as well as the light, and Lamott shows us how to embrace it all. Real spirituality, let alone real life, is quite simply not for sissies!

Boring. Prone to tangents. Tons of cringing.
Read the other 1 star reviews. They say it all.
I'm REALLY glad I got this book at the library and didn't pay for this painful experience.
This is the first time I have ever been motivated enough to write a bad review. It was that bad.

My husband brought this home from the library yesterday and said I could read it first. I had no intention of doing that yesterday, I had other items on my to-do list.
I started reading and I could not stop. It is a wonderful, wonderful book and I adore Anne Lamott and recognize all too uncomfortably the failings I share with her--and and that probably means the failings that 99% of human beings share with her.
I want her to write faster, to write more. She is so intelligent, so insightful, a human being who strives to get it right.
I cannot recommend this book highly enough.

AL is perhaps my favorite writer, and Operating Instructions was the best baby gift I received 11 years ago. I purchased this as a gift to my sister, a new grandmother, and of course read it first. I hadn't expected to get such a poignant story that touches so close to home. AL is really telling us in her witty, imperfect style about aging, growing, letting go and holding close. Hope my sister likes it even half as much as I did.

This book was simple and beautiful. Anne helped me see that simply knowing and expressing my truth can be a beautiful Prayer. A lot of progressive spiritual books place (imo) emphasize the importance on being positive and manifesting our perfect world. I haven't lost site of this, but it was nice to be reminded that we're human, and have angry, sad, fearful thoughts sometimes (that is -- a lot) and feeling these isn't a non-spiritual nor non-loving expression of self.

This book was simple and beautiful. Anne helped me see that simply knowing and expressing my truth can be a beautiful Prayer. A lot of progressive spiritual books place (imo) emphasize the importance on being positive and manifesting our perfect world. I haven't lost site of this, but it was nice to be reminded that we're human, and have angry, sad, fearful thoughts sometimes (that is -- a lot) and feeling these isn't a non-spiritual nor non-loving expression of self.

Obviously Anne Lamott's son didn't read her book "Operating Instructions" when he was a teenager. It might have stopped him from becoming a teenage dad. Then again, maybe not. He comes across as a narcisstic, braindead jerk.

I was very disappointed in Ms. Lamott's book. I also feel sorry for the baby, named "Jax" for goodness' sakes (because the poor kid's parents think that sounds great)wow. The stupidity of the two parents is mind-boggling.

And dear sonny boy writes in one chapter how brave he is for continuing to go to school (college) while parenting the kid. Yeah, while getting big checks from mommy. Ms. Lamott didn't have that cushion when she was an unwed mother in her late 20's. She had to rely on friends and a few family members in helping take care of her baby.

For Ms. Lamott to make this into a celebration of stupidity is just WRONG. I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone, because it could give the current crop of braindead teenagers the idea to go out and get pregnant because it's so "cool" (hey if MTV's "Teenage Mom" show hasn't already persuaded them).

Bad book, Ms. Lamott. Bad book.

Make no mistake about it; this book is nothing like "Operating Instructions". In fact, "Some Assembly Required" couldn't even be the preface page to "Bird by Bird." I had high hopes for this book and was sorely disappointed. I'm glad I got it from the library and didn't waste my money. If Anne wasn't directly or obliquely bad-mouthing Amy, the mother of her `brown-skinned' grandchild (her words ad nauseum), she was cattily bitching about loaning Amy her credit card to buy Christmas ornaments in order to `bribe' her to stay in California. I got the distinct impression that she was jealous of Amy's relationship with her son. I came away feeling sorry for poor little Amy. Ms. Lamott's tedious, lackluster narrative of a trip to India was insulting to the entire country. She said they have "hygiene issues". Really??!!!

And where, pray tell, was all the rabid, fanatical government bashing that has been in every previous book? Glaringly, hypocritically absent, that's where. I finally gave up reading two-thirds of the way through the book. I wanted to love this book and I'm very sad that it was such a letdown. If you're looking for the Anne of old, forget it. She's nowhere to be found in this narcissistic tale of her grandson's first year.