And Other Destructive Emotions - Finding Freedom from Anger

Pema Chodron is insightful, spritual and funny. She takes a spiritual text dealing with anger from many years ago, and makes it current. For those trying to be a better person this is a must, as we all struggle with frustration and anger in our daily lives.

The message is excellent, but due to problems with the cd, the last couple tracks of each of the three cd's cannot import into iTunes so I can listen on my iPod.

Returned first set, and was sent a replacement set that has the same problems. Worked with my computer people too. They said they think it is some encoding error or something, and to contact the publisher of the cd.

I am returning this second set, and may try to order again at a later date, hoping they get the problem corrected.

This was wonderful, I listen to the whole thing and was amazed how much of the information I could use right now today in my life. Pema is such a delight and fun to listen to. I wish eveyone could hear these Cd's!

It feels like you're sitting in an auditorium and listening to these people, class-ing you. I found myself getting distracted often and having a hard time understanding this type of narrative.
I was not a huge fan; and was definitely not worth the money. Too expensive.

Purchased this as a Christmas gift for a friend; they did not open it until yesterday, and realized that the 3rd CD is damaged, and will not play. the store's "Holiday Return" policy is that you have to return it by Jan. 31, 2016 -- so my friend is stuck with a defective product!!

-This book represents something wonderful happening with Eastern spirituality during its exile. Gradually, teachers are finding ways to communicate deep spiritual concepts, in a way that Westerners can really understand and find the "juice". This CD deals with a fundamental Buddhist concept, "attachment". I've been aware of this term for many years, but it didn't really mean much to me at all.
-Buddhists are supposed to eliminate their "attachments", but what does this mean? Should you abandon your loved ones? Leave the healthy things in your life that you love the most? It doesn't mean that!
-Working with her guru, Ani Pema has found language to explain the concept of attachment to Americans. Our attachments are not the objects of our love, but the way that happenings in our life "hook" us. A driver cuts you off, and calls you a "meathead!", say. Within less than a second, you are in a rage. You may even "see red"--yes, seeing red is a possible human physical experience of anger. Assuming you restrain yourself from retaliating, for the next few hours your mind is a turmoil of anger, revenge fantasies, thoughts of what you should have done, self- recrimination perhaps, and a deeply buried sick feeling you may not even be aware of.
-You've been "hooked"! Deep emotional and behavioral patterns have been triggered, so fast that you couldn't dodge them. Ani Pema shows how to do the hard work of coming to terms with these reactions, so you can walk through the world doing a bit less damage, leaving a more beautiful footprint. This can be a labor of years, no mistake. But through this CD you can see clear to the end of where you're going, and start on a path you can understand somewhat, and which becomes much clearer the further you go.
-There is a Buddhist joke about a Samurai who comes to a Zen monk and asks what "hell" and "heaven" are. The Buddhist starts insulting the Samurai and the Samurai pulls out his sword to kill him. The monk says "That's hell." The Samurai experiences a moment of awakening. The monk says "That's heaven."
-Your habitual and naive reactions are a good way of understanding one aspect of the concept of "Karma", your inherited and unconsciously built up destructive behavior. Karma is not a mystical concept of "fate". In fact, Buddhists emphasize that your destiny isn't unchangeable.
-One reviewer here comments that this shows you how not to engage with these thoughts. In fact, you DO engage with them--you just don't give them complete power over you. You come to terms with your deeper self including your faults. You may feel disgust at being so subject to manipulation by events, but you can then apply "loving kindness" to yourself, not excusing your mistakes, but coming to terms with your true self as a loving parent might help you to do. Anger itself isn't bad. In fact, many times it is fully "justified", Lord knows. But losing your mind because of it is something to avoid.
-You might like to know that anger will still hurt, after you have taken most of its power over you. Buddhists are not invulnerable. In fact they must expose their tender, awakened hearts to suffering, in order to learn the lessons of their lives.
-Anger is one example of an attachment. There are many others, including the sick idea that you must never lose your loved ones, because you will then fall apart. Everything in life passes, but there is always room for love without self-deception.
- There is nothing in these CDs to offend other religions. Nothing urges you to convert to the Buddhist religion (if it is a religion at all.) Christians can practice these down-to-earth spiritual exercises, and become better Christians through doing so. I'm a Christian myself. Catholics may like to know that some of the Dalai Lama's books on spiritual exercises have received the Imprimatur.
-Intellectual understanding isn't enough; you have to practice these ideas to understand them fully. If you want to move from dry concepts to fresh, vital, "juicy" experience and deep understanding, this CD is a wonderful start.

I found the teachings delivered on these CDs to be incredibly profound; they enabled me make an enormous change in my life for the better.

I never thought of myself as a volatile person and most people who know me would say that I am quite patient and mild mannered, but after listening to Pema Chodron talk about how we might start with just being a little irritated by something trivial and how we tend to fan that little spark into a flame with internal self-talk that increases our annoyance until we become aggressive and then angry, I started to notice how often I actually do what she described so clearly.

Another profound lesson is how we tend to justify our angry, that we were entitled to get angry, without realizing how that anger negatively affects our own state of being, and how damaging it is to our relationships, especially our most intimate ones.

The person that received the brunt of my poor behavior was of course my wife. The lessons that Pema Chodron delivers enabled me to realize how I was undermining the potentially wonderful relationship I could have with my wife of 45 years, the most important person in my life, the one I cared most about. It wasn't easy and it took me some time to start to retrain myself to stop viewing the little things that she did as being annoying, little things like not shutting a light or leaving her cell phone at a store she just visited. Slowly, I started just accepting them as the little inconveniences that they were.

As this process unfolded, I started to see that there were so, so many other situations that irritated me, situations created by little things just not going the way I wanted them to go. And as I was able to see them, directly due to these teachings, I was able to start to accept them as just the way things are, without getting annoyed. Pema Chodron explains so eloquently that getting annoyed never does any good and almost always makes the situation worse.

While I am certainly far from perfect, I feel much better about the person I have become, and my relationship with my wife has improved, so much so, that without listening to these teachings she has had more room to be herself and has become more conscious of how some of the things she does can be disruptive to the smooth flow of our lives. Since I don't get annoyed I can even calmly explain, without making it a big deal, how they affect our lives, and she has the space to change or not.

There is so much wisdom in these teachings that I can listen many, many times and get valuable new insight every time I do.

I want to thank Pema Chodron for explaining these valuable insights in such a clear and refreshing manner. She is doing a great service for humanity, making this a more peaceful planet. It has certainly worked wonders for me.

Excellent program for working with anger, or just about any powerful emotion that overtakes you and prevents you from operating from the heart. I have listened to this program 4 times now, whilst driving to and from work, and I intend on listening to it 100x more. I get so much out of Chodron's interpretation of this very valuable teaching. I love her subtle humor, insight, and the tact she uses in explaining concepts. It must be really difficult to make a topic as broad as anger understandable by all, yet she does a really good job. You will definitely find something to relate to in this program.

I was desperate to overcome anger and resentment over a situation at work that was eating me up. Being "right" wasn't helping and provided more pain than satisfaction. Finding Pema's talk is helping me to regain some sense of normalcy in my life. I'm far from "cured" but I I'm coming to understand that my actions and reactions, thus far, have done nothing for me except make things worse for me personally and spiritually. Pema has helped me begin a healing process, and I'm grateful.

There are so many excellent and detailed reviews, so I will just add a few words. I have been listening to this set over and over for more than a year now, and it has changed my life in terms of my ability to cope with people, with life, and with myself without resorting to counterproductive strategies. I did not even know where I was going with it when I bought it, but I keep finding more and more in it each time I replay it. Pema's teachings mostly address anger and hatred, but she repeatedly counsels that what she is discussing also applies to any habitual response we have to not getting what we want (and getting what we don't want), including addictions and numbing out. I really like the practical and down to earth way she phrases things, and her personal and revealing examples. I have since purchased many of Pema's CD's and books, but I would recommend this as the best, or at least the first, one to study. I am so grateful that I found it, and look forward to continuing to grow with Pema's teachings.

Do you find yourself caught in maybe a lifetime of negative reactions to certain events, people, or addictive behaviors in certain situations? Do you find it almost impossible to control yourself from reacting negatively to certain relatives, TV shows, or politicians? Have you ever bought something just because you felt like it was something you should buy, or it was "you," and then gotten it home and felt sick because you didn't need it or shouldn't have spent the money? Who hasn't? Pema Chodron's easy to understand discourse can help you get beyond these self-destructive behaviors in no time. The freedom and peace that lies outside of living in reaction is your reward for listening to this teaching. There is nothing here that will contradict any religious beliefs you may hold, but if more churches, for example, were teaching what she offers here in this simple and straightforward way, utterly without judgment, I think they would find their Sunday attendance would increase significantly. Pema Chodron is entirely sympathetic to the human condition, and rather than condemn it, she helps us clearly identify the behaviors that keep us from living in lovingkindness and joy. I recommend all her books and tapes highly, but if you can only get one to start with, start here.

I have read numerous titles of Pema Chodron and this is some of her most succint and insightful work yet. Her interpretations of Shantideva's poem are accessible and applicable to anyone's life regardless of your religion or lack thereof. She has the ability to tap into all the the "hooks" that catch us and make us want to fuel the fire of our own anger, irritation etc. She illuminates the road to walk away from those reactions and explains how to not engage with those thoughts even though it is tempting to engage because of past habits. I appreciate her honesty as someone who has "been there" and her way of making an 8th century text something that applies right now. I have found myself listening to it repeatedly so that the teachings permeate my thinking. Loved it.

Purchased with her 'Collection/Pure Meditation' which I will get to eventually, after I listen to this CD over & over enough. LOL Any student of psychology could greatly benefit from the similarities of these philosophies.

I listened to this series of talks while driving to and from school. She presents several ways to stop from getting angry and several ways to change how you look at anger. After listening and practicing I get less angry at normal frustrations. So, I guess it worked.

I think anger and resentment will always be trying to bait me in this life, but at least being able to listen to this CD occasionally, I'll be reminded to think before I open my mouth and cop a hook to the jaw ;-)

Pema Chodron words can change your life. She uses old texts and a dry sense of humor to illustrate how one can let go of old ways of reacting. I listen to this every six weeks or so as a mental turn up.

This is a seemingly extemporaneous western commentary (in front of an audience) on the 1st 51 verses of Shantideva's 8th c. The Way of the Bodhisattva: A Translation of the Bodhicharyavatara (Shambhala Dragon Editions). It complements Pema's recent book No Time to Lose: A Timely Guide to the Way of the Bodhisattva & (probably, since I haven't heard it yet) her Bodhisattva Mind: Teachings to Cultivate Courage and Awareness in the Midst of Suffering 7 CD set which covers 106 verses of the text. So this is a shorter version. The 1st CD is 54:11 in 13 tracks with an avg. of 4:10 & max. of 8:24; the 2nd CD is 77:31 in 20 tracks with an avg. of 3:53 & max. of 11:04; the 3rd CD is 51:15 in 16 tracks with an avg. of 3:12 & max. of 15:52. Overall avg. is 3:53 per track. Total exceeds 3 hours, 9 minutes. The very last track is Q&A of 3 questions--practice vs. repression, medications, & crying. Robert Walker reads each verse before Pema comments on it. She believes Shantideva wrote it in response to his own anger. As usual, she compassionately teaches compassion, using humor, graphic examples (e.g. the Gregory Peck classic "To Kill a Mockingbird" & personal experiences (e.g. visiting prisons). Interestingly, she succeeds in relating lojong mind training to Bodhisattva compassion training. While much of the teaching is not new (see her other fine works) it bears repeating. It's easy to learn the theory but not to actually practice it--repetition & reinforcement can help, but mindfulness & alertness are essential.

More specifically, Pema extensively addresses "the austerity of patience" as armor against Karma, noting that humor aids patience. This helps to defuse the us/them binary mentality at the root of suffering = seeing people as "other." Rather, one can use life's difficulties to awaken your kinship with others--developing empathy. This ties in with Pema's tonglen practice--sending & receiving practice, esp. tonglen-on-the-spot (mentioned briefly here). Indeed, our anger can be our teacher (a la Vajrayana's propensity to turn poison into elixir). We can practice using small annoyances (Bourgeois suffering)--being patient rather than aggravating them by complaining--thus avoiding self-inflicted pain & negative habit-building. Rather than following addictive urges, "we are always working with our potential to be bothered" by reframing our attitude to discomfort & "finding out what intolerable feels like w/o reacting to it." As she points out, by practicing mind training, we have tools that others don't, so have patience, compassion, & tolerance for them as well as for yourself. Thus, we can develop Herbert Guenther's water logic vs. rock logic--flowing/open vs. rigid/fixed--fluidity vs. structure, resting in ambiguity. Thus, we ease our attachment (shenpa), the Hook in the title, the charge behind our likes & dislikes--even our commitment to the environment can be an obstacle (turning elixir into poison). We tend to identify with our own thoughts [my bumper sticker says: "You don't have to believe everything you think"]. Rather, per Mahamudra/Dzogchen teachings, "taming the mind is returning to the natural state of openness" & joyously appreciating the "magical apparition" (display). This is a lovely, user-friendly CD set.

The speaker is preaching a good deal. She argues that while the passage she teaches from is about patience and anger, the real message is a lesson for everyone about universal addiction.

It strikes me like analysis of poetry where a one page poem is parlayed into thirty pages of commentary.

The passage was written by one guy. The Dali Lama changes the words to give a different interpretation. Pema Chödrön makes comments that do not appear in the two sentences she refers to. It is innovative in the bad way of putting words in the mouth of a historic figure.