The Distance Between Us: A Memoir

I learned a lot about life in Mexico, family values and immigration from this book. The writing is faily simple and straight forward. I met the author in person two days ago. The book really came alive when I witnessed what she has become as a result of the sometimes brutal life she led as a child and how family values triumph in the end.

Reyna Grande takes you through a heartbreaking journey in which she discovers and finally accepts her decisions in life even though painful and challenging. Her love/hate relationship with her parents ends with Reyna reaching peace and acceptance. We applaud her successful ascension in life and her ability to overcome what seems at first like a bad ending. I look forward to meeting you this month.

A poignant study of how difficult life can be, yet still lived productively. The pain of abandoned children is unbearable. Beautifully written with family photos interspersed, Grande's writing skills develop from Spanish to English, childishness to sensitivity.
I enjoyed it tremendously, and so will our book club for next month!

A very well written book, provides a lot of perspective of how life is like for immigrants like Reyna Grande. Provides a sense of optimism of how humans can go through so much hardship and still come out the end very positive, productive people in our society. Ms Grande is surely a very gifted writer, an amazing journey from abject poverty to a successful book writer in our American society. More than that, she is a remarkable person.

Another "coming of age" story, however the hype associated with the author's name has carried this book much farther than it would have gone on its own merit. Some good moments, and good writing, but over-all a verbose and arduous read.

This book dealt with a lot of hard topics-abuse, abandonment, loyalty to an abuser- and so while my feelings while reading the book were negative, overall the book was fast-moving and I enjoyed it.

My one major critique though was I felt that the author was kind of judgmental about her siblings. The people who hurt her the most she didn't seem as judgmental towards but the other innocent "victims" she kind of judged harshly.

I am a Mexican American. Up until I read this book, I thought that my journey through life was excruciating. After reading this book I now know that I am not alone in my negative feelings about childhood experiances.The book provided me with a narrative on what young people expect from parents and the inability of delivering on those expectations. In this case The American Dream took the adults away and kept the parents from nurturing the children left behind.We seldom think of those left behind and what they must go through, especially when they are children. The scars inflicted on them at such a young age will forever brand them.
This book was written with a deliberate outlook for the issues that are seldom talked about. The passion that Reyna Grande used to stroke this book with, made me not want to put it down. My hope is that people from countries other than Mexico will read it as well.I'm quite sure that she isn't alone in what she experianced.
The book was anything but boring. It was insightful and powerful.

Reyna Grande captures in an accessible and transparent manner a journey that so many have made/ As someone who did not experience the transition from one culture to another I felt a powerful sense of the fundamental inter connectivity of the human experience/ Although simplistic and direct in both its words and imagery the novel provides a moment in time that binds one with both compassion and gratitude/ Forgiveness for Ms. Grande is an attitude that apparently has helped guide her to her current state of ever increasing contentment/ And for any of us who have had what I refer to as a smooth life The Distance Between Us is a passage to adult reckoning with moving forward in one's own life while not succumbing to one's history but rather deciding what of that history moves us forward and what keeps us captive to it/ Bravo to Ms. Grande!/

Important book. As a former teacher, I had many student just like Reyna in my classroom, and I only had hints of what they'd been through. Reyna filled in the blanks. Well written. Takes you on a journey of what it's like to be the child of immigrant parents, and what it feels like to spend most of your life without the nurturing parents are supposed to provide. Touching and heartbreaking.

This is the story of a young woman who went through so much to become who she is today. I think anyone looking to understand the hardships and trials of immigrants should read this. I kept thinking throughout the whole book that the author was growing up at the same time as me and I just couldn't believe how different and yet similar in small ways her life was to mine. The book tugged at my heart from beginning to end.

I bought this book for several essays I had to write for my English 98 class.
The subject matter left me in tears. Being half Hispanic myself, I found Grande's writing hit close to home. Her writing style made it so easy to read & get sucked in. I look forward to reading more of her work in the future.

Grande paints a picture of a hard life in Mexico for those who are poverty stricken. No safety nets existed in her childhood. The abuse by her paternal grandmother and by her parents was inexcusable. It is interesting to see how policies formulated in Washington, D.C. affected real people. Love gave the three full siblings the strength to follow the path each chose.

This book was very readable, we cared about the main characters. Most of the group did not want to put the book down when they were reading...it really kept their interest.
A lot of various topics were stimulated in our discussion of the book. We recommend it.

A great narrative about the separation of a child from her parents due to immigration.
The author writes with wonderful detail - you really feel like you are there experiencing events with the character.

This is the story of an illegal who made an attempt to do something positive. I give her credit for that. The rest of her family not so much. Her Dad worked in the US leaving mom and kids in Mexico. He takes a mistress, whom he eventually marries after throwing said wife to the curb. Kids are left w/ grandparents in Mexico who don't treat them very well. Dad comes back and after much begging brings kids to US. Writer of the story makes an attempt to succeed. Sister and brother, not so much.

So although I admire the strength she found to overcome her environment I also have to temper things knowing that illegal is still illegal. She was a child and she did the best she could but her siblings did not and it leaves me wondering who is supporting them?

Reyna did what we wish all those who come to the US would do and embrace the freedoms and opportunity that this great country affords those who wish to work and forge a better future for themselves.

The Distance Between Us by Reyna Grande

"The Distance Between" is the inspirational coming-of-age memoir that captures a girl's challenging journey to reach her dreams. Award-winning writer Reyna Grande candidly shares her childhood that is reflective of the difficult challenges of the modern Mexican immigrant experience. This extraordinary woman shares her life with frankness and along the way provides a voice for many immigrants. This heart-warming 338-page book is broken out into the following two parts: 1. Mi Mamá Me Ama, and The Man Behind The Glass.

Positives:
1. A well-written, engaging, heartfelt coming-of-age memoir. Honest, personal storytelling.
2. A fascinating topic: the immigrant experience through the eyes of a Mexican girl.
3. The book has a very good flow. Grande is very descriptive and you never feel lost as a reader. It's her innate ability to tell a story and to adequately capture the emotions is what makes this reading experience very real.
4. A good story needs conflicts, challenges and this book is full of them. Some of the stories are gut wrenching and disturbing but ultimately heart-warming.
5. Touches on many topics of interest: poverty, immigration, politics, domestic abuse, alcoholism and education. These topics are not discussed as a separate issue but form part of the narrative. Grande asks big questions even as a little girl.
6. Thought-provoking. Some quotes will stick with you.
7. Family dynamics are very interesting. Growing up with very different grandmothers highlights how personalities impact a child. Parents leaving to "El Otro Lado" with the goal of providing for their families. Children desperately seeking role models and guidance.
8. The issue of poverty plays a prominent role in this memoir. If Grande's descriptive words weren't enough just take a look at a photo of her grandmother's very humble home. Basic necessities that we take for granted are a major challenge of everyday life for the Grande family.
9. Another major topic and a major theme reflected in the title is the issue of family separation. Grandparents are often left with the task of raising their grandchildren in poverty as sons and daughters go to "El otro lado" (the other side) with dreams of making it. This theme exemplifies the distance between us and is at the heart of this book.
10. Captures the culture through the eyes of a child. Food, religion, music, etc...
11. Another issue that caught my attention is the lack of access to affordable health. Several heart-breaking examples exemplify this issue in which care was deferred because of financial considerations.
12. The dangerous journey of immigrants. The process of legalization, the Immigration Reform and Control Act of 1986.
13. The always interesting transition to American life, some amusing stories and challenges.
14. The recurring theme of abandonment is captured vividly on many fronts and serves also as a metaphor for the distance between the families.
15. A recurring theme I find that is common among memoirs of interest like this one is the love of books. Obviously, this plays a prominent role in Grande's life and she shares the inspirational story of an admirable woman that serves as her mentor.
16. Grande is very candid and shares many personal issues of young adulthood.
17. Inspirational. Accomplishments and the future.
18. Excellent epilogue that summarizes the latest of her family.

Negatives:
1. I have to admit there were times I just wanted to finish the book because some of the themes are very difficult to get through and I just wanted to give somebody a hug.
2. There are important issues that were not addressed in the book yet played an important role: birth control, religion, patriarchal society, sex education and the cycle of poverty. Poverty obviously played a major role but the angle of how the aforementioned issues relate to one another was not.
3. Lack of supplementary material that would have added value to the book. I would have liked to have seen a formal bibliography of Grande's favorite books besides the ones she mentions within the narrative.
4. Lack of an appendix on links to associations or groups that Grande favors. As an example, groups that help immigrants.

In summary, this is a heartfelt memoir that captures vividly the plight of the Mexican immigrant. Grande has a way with words and tells her story with a brutal honesty that gives her narrative life. She takes us on a rollercoaster ride that takes us to a different world, culture and ultimately to a satisfying and rewarding experience, I highly recommend it!

Further suggestions: "Across a Hundred Mountains: A Novel" and "Dancing with Butterflies: A Novel" by the same author, "The House on Mango Street" by Sandra Cisneros, "My Beloved World" by Sonia Sotomayor, "A Fighting Chance" by Elizabeth Warren, "Rita Moreno: A Memoir" by Rita Moreno, "Infidel" by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, "When I Was Puerto Rican: A Memoir (A Merloyd Lawrence Book)" by Esmeralda Santiago, and "Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide" by Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl Wudunn.

It is truly an inspiring story....just not very well written. No depth of emotion. Just the facts and the facts become tedious as Reyna gets pulled back into her father's orbit time and time again. Fortunately she us the one who survives, prospers and forgives unconditionally. I would have run at the first opportunity.

THE DISTANCE BETWEEN US by Reyna Grande is a beautifully-written and moving memoir describing the author’s childhood in poverty-stricken Mexico after both her parents leave their children behind to pursue a source of income and better life in “El Otro Lado”, the United States. With heartfelt emotion, Ms. Grande tells of the pain of being separated from her parents and the feeling of being not worthy of their love. Although Reyna later crosses the border illegally with her father and two of her siblings, she is then forced to leave behind her mother and step-sister who had returned to Mexico when her father left them. Ms. Grande describes in honest detail the devastating plight of immigrant children and their struggle to overcome language, legal and cultural barriers in their adopted home. In spite of the incredible odds against her, she proves she is a survivor with her hard work and resilience. I was touched by this deeply personal memoir and I admire the author for the candor with which she opened her life to her readers. I look forward to reading the upcoming sequel, A DREAM CALLED HOME soon.

This is a very personal story of what it was like for children to be abandoned by their parents, as their parent's journeyed from Mexico to the US seeking a better life for their families.

The story focuses primarily on the dynamics of family members. This makes sense for a memoir. However, what was missing, for me, was any socioeconomic context which could stimulate the reader into thinking more broadly about immigration and why these events occur.

The only mention of the larger picture is when the author, toward the end of the book, says something like "as long as people are poor and seek a better economic situation, there will be children abandoned." Okay, true. But a brief discussion of context, within the memoir, could help urge a more reasoned complex reaction to the story. e.g. How do these immigrants differ from the Great Migration of blacks within the country? How are these victims different from orphans of the Holocaust who were welcomed to the US because of our role in the war? THIS story's immigrants are invisible, illegal, and speak a different language than the mainstream.

Without this,discussion, the reader may fall back on one of two rather simplistic stereotypic reactions: 1) How could these parents do this to their children? -"-blaming the victim".or 2) Or, these poor poor families--the "bleeding heart." Unfortunately, these emotional reactions are prominent in today's public discourse about immigration. If we understand the complexity of what happens to families torn apart, the debate about immigration could be broadened.. .

This book taught me the true meaning of the phrase "there is no knowing of where you might go." The author is Mexican born, and travels to the United States for a better future. Reyna Grande does a great example of showing the readers all the struggles she went through in Mexico AND in the U.S. She really makes you feel the emotion she felt along her journey. There were moments in the book that were so touching that I couldn't help but shed a few tears. This memoir makes you realize how incredibly privileged we truly are. That no matter how low we think we are sinking there are people suffering just as much as Reyna did every day. She teaches us that her will power was strong enough to take her out of her terrible circumstances, and that although she is now a published author, she was once an extremely poor and weak child. I recommend that you all read this book, and then recommend it to other people you know. It can truly change the way you look at certain things in life.

Story Description:

Washington Square Press|March 12, 2013|Trade Paperback|ISBN: 978-1-4516-6178-1

Reyna Grande vividly brings to life her tumultuous early years in this "compelling...unvarnished, resonant" (Book Page) story of a childhood spent torn between two parents and two countries. As her parents make the dangerous trek across the Mexican border to "El Otro Lado" (The Other Side) in pursuit of the American dream, Reyna and her siblings are forced into the already overburdened household of their stern grandmother. When their mother at last returns, Reyna prepares for her own journey to "El Otro Lado" to live with the man who has haunted her imagination for years, her long-absent father.

Funny, heartbreaking, and lyrical. The Distance Between Us poignantly captures the confusion and contradictions of childhood, reminding us that the joys and sorrows we experience are imprinted on the heart forever, calling out to us of those places we first called home.

My Review:

This story captured my heart from the beginning to the end. It was so eloquently written with such a descriptive narrative that I could literally feel and smell and see the sights around me. From the dust on the ground to the feel of the dirt and mud clinging to my feet to the taste of the medicine Abuela Evila used to rid the children of worms.

When Reyna was four-years-old she didn't know yet where the United States was or why everyone in her hometown of Iguala, Guerrero referred to it as El Otro Lado, the Other Side. All she knew back then was that El Otro Lado had already taken her father away. What she did know was that prayers didn't work because if they did, then El Otro Lado wouldn't be taking her mother away too.

Both Reyna's mother, Juana, and her father, Natalio had gone to the United States leaving Reyna and her siblings: sister Mago, eight-and-a-half-years-old; and her brother, Carlos 7-years-old behind with their miserable grandmother, Abuela Evila. By June of 1980 the children had been with her for six months. During that time they were never taken anywhere. The three children all had head lice and instead of cleaning their hair properly to rid them of the lice, Abuela Evila dosued their hair in kerosene, wrapped their heads in towels and plastic bags and forced them to sleep that way. Halfway through the night, the children couldn't stand the burning of their scalps and would remove the towels and bags so in the morning, their grandmother shaved all their heads bald as punishment. The little girls were horrified.

One night the children received a phone call from their mother and father in America. They called to tell them they were going to have a baby. The three children felt as if they were being replaced. They'd now been at their grandmother's house for eight long months.

The children's parents sent money regularly from the States to buy clothing and shoes but Abuela always spent it on something else forcing the children to walk around in old, torn, and tattered clothes looking like orphans. Abuela wasn't a very nice woman at all.

The children received word that their mother had just given birth to a baby girl whom she named Elisabeth (Betty). The kids were so upset it sent them to their rooms crying for the night. It had now been a whole year since they'd seen their mother and with this new baby they were afraid she would forget about them altogether.

Their cousin, Elida turned fifteen so a big quinceanera party was planned to celebrate. The kids other cousins came and gramma Abuela Evila spent all day making new dresses for the girls on her sewing machine. Elida's dress was made in the United States because her mother, Tia Maria Felix said she had to have the best for HER daughter. By the end of the week everyone "except" for Mago and Reyna had a new dress. The day before the party, Abuela Evila bought a few yards of silver material, shiny like a brand new peso and began making dresses for Mago and Reyna. She made a mistake on Reyna's dress and sewed the dress inside out and made the child wear it like that. And poor Carlos didn't get any new clothes at all. Reyna was so upset at being forced to wear the inside-out dress at the party that she sat, hidden underneath the table and cried about the dress, and the fact that her parents had replaced her with Betty. Reyna was now no longer the youngest child.

The children were missing their parents something terrible and they asked their grandmother if she thought they'd ever return and she said "no." When Reyna gets bitten twice by a scorpion, is burning up with fever and on her way to the hospital in a taxi with her aunt, she asks her if she believes her grandmother is telling the truth. Aunt Tia Emperatriz said she didn't know, but Reyna felt that although where they lived was pretty, it was just a place of "broken beauty" without her Mom and Dad. It had now been two years since her Mom and Dad had been gone.

Eventurally, their mother comes back with little Betty in tow but soon leaves again. This pattern continues over and over again until one day their father returns after many years. He decides to hire a mule to smuggle himself and the three children back across the border to live with his new wife who has three children of her own. After three attempts they finally make it but the children's dream of living in American isn't the dream they had in mind. Natalio wasn't the kind father they had remembered from their younger years. He was distant and extremely abusive and after years of having neither a mother nor a father the children didn't deserve this type of treatment.

The experiences these children have during their childhood, and I've only just barely touched on what they went through, remained with them their entire lives. This memoir is one I won't soon forget and is now part of my permanent collection. I loved `The Glass Castle' by Jeannette Walls but The Distance Between Us has that beat by a long shot. If you want an unbelievable read, don't miss this one, it definitely gets a thumbs up from me.

I did not like this book. I am glad the author is able to have a better life, but she doesn't seem to lament the laws broken to get there. And she didn't talk about better ways to help her Mexican family and friends still in Mexico. So should they all do what she did?
Her parents were extremely selfish. They claim everything they do (repeatedly leaving the children behind) is to better the lives of the children. BS! The father went to US and "fell in love with another woman". You mean he was an alcoholic adulterer? The mother was no better. She chose to bring more and more children into a life of poverty.
I could not handle the childrens' devotion to their parents, even as they became adults and could see reality. Maybe I'm more cold hearted, but you break my heart more than once, I may forgive, but I'm not letting you back into my life to do it again and I'm certainly not going to seek you out and beg you to love (or tolerate) me.

Life is about choices. What if everybody did that?
Even in poverty, one can choose kindness. Many of the adults in this book are mean and selfish and blame it on their circumstances.

If you criticize my review saying "they were poor and didn't feel they had another choice."
I will say "imagine a single mother living in the US legally who feels she has no other choice. should she start to sell drugs?" You'd probably say "no, selling drugs is illegal". And if that mother were caught, she'd go to jail. Yet, I feel so many people in this book were enabling this family to come and stay in the US illegally.
So many other reviews talk about the struggles and triumphs the author and her siblings had to overcome. But I see children who don't know what a marriage or family is, young unwed mothers and fathers, and dropping out of school. Is THAT the American Dream? Sorry, I will not celebrate this book that glorified illegal activities, parents who abandon their children (emotionally and physically), parents who left their children in the care of family who treated their children unkindly, parents who beat their children and spouses, and children who begged for these same parents attention.

Easy read and easily hooked! Grande writes with a style that captivated me! I couldn’t put the book down and it truly felt like I was next to her as her shadow - experiencing her life as a child in Mexico.
I only wish Trump and others would read this so you get a sense of why DACA is important. Immigrants go through so much and it’s quite a tale.

I didn't know a thing about this book, just saw the word "Mexioo" and ordered it for something to read on vacation. I ended up devouring it in a couple sittings and wishing there was more. It was such an eye opener into the life of a young immigrant who grows up being told that the U.S. holds the key to happiness but not understanding all the sacrifices that have to be made to get there. Reyna's parents are her world and they remain her heroes despite their flaws. My heart was continually breaking for her and her strong-willed, life-saving sister and all they have to endure because of their parents' desire to better themselves. I had to wonder if it was really worth it. The innocent and simple way a child looks at the world is precious and this book reminded me of that with every page.

I came across The Distance Between Us: A Memoir, by Reyna Grande, because I thought it might be a good choice for students in my community college classroom. I therefore sighed a little upon opening it, scanning its pages with a sense of duty and the weight of a teacher's analytical equipment.

Grande's deceptively simple book, however, broke through all that within in moments and began speaking directly to my heart. In fact, I spent its last forty in tears, followed by an afternoon of mourning and reflection, trying to integrate all her book allowed me to see.

I learned about the impact Grande's parents' decision to emmigrate had on the children they left behind in Mexico. It helped me see immigration as part of a larger economic pattern and better understand its effect on both Mexican and US culture.

In this book, Grande is rigorously honest, reflecting a child's eye view of the world in its early pages and a very courageous adult's more nuanced view of familial love and longing in the later. The Distance Between Us: A Memoir is about class, and the complexities of class, capturing what it feels like to be economically impoverished and the slender borders between poor and even poorer--an area rarely reflected on in American prose in this manner and from the point of view of someone who has lived it this directly.

Once you open The Distance Between Us: A Memoir, it's nearly impossible to put it down because Grande is very adept and harnessing narrative force.

Her short chapters generally focus on small images and details that unfold onto larger truths. The images and details multiply over the course of several chapters in a manner that at first feels like a kaleidoscope and then begins forming an ordered picture of an entire economic phenomenon, one that includes family violence, trauma, and abandonment as well as the power of education and the difficulties far too many have in accessing it.

The Distance Between Us, Reyna Grand, Atria Books, a division of Simon & Schuster, Inc. by Reyna Grande 325pp., $25

A review-Esther Bradley-DeTally

Reyna Grande's The Distance Between Us (a memoir)rocks.

In January, 1980, a time of tremendous poverty and economic hardship in Mexico, Reyna is four years old, as her mother leaves for El Otro Lado, the Other Side, to join her husband to work, to help him fulfill his dreams of leaving something to his children. He had left his native country with high expectations, to make money, earn a living, and build a home in Mexico for his family. Reyna knows her father as the man, a paper face, behind a wall of glass. She calls him The Man Behind the Glass, which photo she takes with her on a move from her mother's house to her Abuela's house, a photograph which she grabs and keeps for herself. He left when she was two, and she will hold tightly to any image or remembrance of her father.

Mago, her sister, is eight and a half. Carlos , her brother, is about to turn seven, and Mago is asked by her mother to be Carlos and Reyna's little mother. They will remain behind in the village under the care of a bitter, and abusive grandmother. Their mother will go in and out of their lives, but in essence, they are alone. Mago shines in her kindness, amazing wisdom and actions towards her young sister. The siblings remain tightly intertwined. They are badly treated by the grandmother.

This memoir is rich in description of dirt floors, of hunger, of never enough food, of dirt, of poverty, and of precious few people who help them. The children solidify into one unit, each helping the other. Theirs is a hardscrabble life, Dickensian in elements, and a reviewer couples Grande's story of the children, with FrankMcCourt's Angela's Ashes. The stories are similar, but Reyna Grand's use of language encompasses Mexican history and culture, and images are philosophical but highly translatable through her child's mind. The mother will return, and then leave. The father will show up and take them back to Los Angeles. Natalio her father is a man of conflicts.Schooling in Los Angeles, struggle in Highland Park, adjustments to a new country, and yet the sisters and brother remain close.

One theme is of struggle, the struggle of understanding cruelty, conflict, family ties. I picked this book up and inhaled it. It is more than just a personal story. It reflects the epic struggles and mutual themes reflecting all who had to leave their native country and come to the United States. This book is eloquent and courageous.

A final quirky note. I checked my computer this afternoon. I was engrossed in the memoir, but somehow checked a Face Book page and message, and a response by Reyna Grande popped up; a response to a friend's FB entry. I emailed the author, "I'm reading your book right now!" And so, my view of a rich courageous memoir, a few modest words about same and my intent to check out her other two books, Dancing with Butterflies, and Across a Hundred Mountains,is put on a to do list.

I had to read this for a teacher certification class and was actually not at all interested in it at first. However it turned out to be a really engaging read and I enjoyed it quite a bit. Well written form the eyes of many of my future students and other immigrants to this country, really makes one appreciate simple things like running water and a roof. Turns out this was probably the best thing about that class.

I absolutely love "The Distance Between Us" by Reyna Grande. The story, challenges, and struggles of an immigrant family couldn't be more relevant today. It's a vary tangible and heartfelt journey of a family trying to stay together, negotiating between two distinct and difficult cultures. It's a very familiar story that mainstream America benefits from reading in order to understand the immigrant's journey. Been there, done that. I highly recommend Ms. Grande's wonderful book.

This must-read memoir of Ms. Grande's upbringing in Guerrero, Mexico, and immigration to the U.S. as an older elementary student is a compelling read. I began the book only a couple of days ago and could not put it down. Grande draws her characters vividly: Mago, her older, protective sister who serves as a surrogate mother to her younger siblings; Grande's mother, Juana, who loves her children but craves male attention to the point of neglecting her children at times; her grandmothers--one loving, the other cold; and her father--a complicated man who fervently desires a better life for his children and "demands" they achieve it, yet drinks himself into a stupor or rage most evenings. Each character is complex, just as real people are; no one is all good or all bad--Grande shows the "gray." Though she writes from the more nuanced perspective of an adult, and a parent, she nonetheless is able to convey the feelings of a child whose parents' decisions, tough decisions, cause pain for their children.

As a teacher in an urban high school with a large Mexican-American population, I could not help but see my students--their hopes and dreams as well as their fears and challenges--in the characters of this book. I think this coming of age story, a real one, will appeal to my high-school students as much as it did to me. It is a engaging, accessible and well-written book that may soon be a staple in high-school classrooms.

I dug it. Reyna Grande did a really good job at telling her story in an engaging way despite the fact that I don't think she is a particularly fantastic writer and this book isn't really something I would think I'd like. I was impressed by the fact that her solid and to the point storytelling was so enjoyable to me-- a good surprise to say the least. I for sure recommend this book as a pleasing Sunday afternoon type read.

Reyna Grande's memoir, The Distance Between Us, is often difficult to read simply because the story must have been a difficult one to tell. From the time that a four-year-old Reyna bids a tearful goodbye to her mother, who is journeying across the border to work illegally in America, to the time she says farewell to her dying father decades later, we are given a firsthand account of the immigration experience and its short- and long-term effects on the people who live it.

Grande is an expert storyteller, blending accounts from her childhood and youth with observations from her adult self which provide additional insight. One of my children once said that it is sometimes hard to read nonfiction simply because we can't change the story; what happened, happened, and there is no pretending it did not. I felt this keenly while reading this book. I kept wishing for a Cinderella moment for Grande and her siblings, wherein their pain and poverty, both emotional and physical, would be wiped away and something better would take its place. This, of course, never happened. That being said, Grande's story is peppered with little joys and small gifts which bring the story to life and remind us of the resilience that the human spirit so often displays.

Grande's descriptive powers are strong, but she also chooses to add black and white photographs throughout the book that add an even deeper dimension to her story. The text and the pictures complement each other, helping us to understand her experience on a deeper level. The Distance Between Us is the story of one girl in one family, yet it also provides a window into the larger experience of immigrants, one that is ongoing today.

by Khadijah Lacina
for Story Circle Book Reviews
reviewing books by, for, and about women

This author tackles the difficult issue of abandonment when parents are forced to leave their children behind due to economic necessity. This story is more common than we think. The searing memoir captures the indelible scars of heartache left on Reyna Grande and her siblings as they cope with the harsh realities of growing up poor in rural Mexico with an overburdened grandmother. The personal story gives a face to those we abstractly discuss in immigration reform. As we hotly debate the immigration issue, let's not forget the painful stories of these innocent victims. Grande's story does not become mired down in tragedy but instead leaves the reader with an uplifting message of forgiveness, hope, and redemption.

I would compare this book to "Angeles Ashes." It's a story that grips at your heartstrings from start to finish and captures Reyna Grande's sad story of being left behind in Mexico to live with a grandmother at the early age of four. Reyna Grande, along with her sister and brother, are first left behind by their father and then their mother. Circumstances bring Reyna and her brother to cling close to their older sister "Mago" who strives to make their survival bearable as they live with the not-so-affectionate grandmother. The story is told with bold honesty and rawness. It is a must read book and one that you won't be able to put down. Definitely a book to put on your list to read.

I started to read this book and didn't put it down until i finished. What i liked most about Reyna's book is that it is not an idealistic, romanticized account of her life as a lot of Chicana/o. I'm sick of reading the Sandra Cisneros-type quaint literature with attempts to insert magic realism. No, Reyna's account was an honest re-telling of what it meant for her and her siblings to be left in Mexico, while her parents came to the U.S. in pursuit of an elusive dream. The consequences of living with a grandmother who did not love her and what it was to live in poverty. And what it meant for her to come to this country in a one-bedroom apartment with her father and his new wife under the roof of an alcoholic. Reyna is unapologetic about her experience, and also is not looking for pity. Needless to say, i really enjoyed this book and really identified with the experience. Thank you for writing and sharing your experience! I hope others will pick up this book and love it too!

I really enjoyed reading this book. I felt so many emotions welling inside while reading certain sections. Best of all, I am so happy Reynita kept her eyes on the prize and followed her dreams inspite of all the struggles.

Congratulations to Reyna Grande for a beautiful memoir that reads like a novel. I enjoyed the narrative and style, and what a story it is! She takes the life lived by thousands of immigrants and helps the reader live it and come out at the end with appreciation, empathy and nothing but love for the author.

What is there to say about a writer who pours her heart and soul into her writing. She dares to open her private past to the world and at the same time makes a definitive point about our broken immigration system. Read it for the memoir then think how this story is repeated year after year with children of immigrant families.

This memoir is one of the best I've ever read. Reyna easily tells her tale of hardship, love and change. It really opened my eyes to the hardships faced by immigrants, and told from the eyes of a child (in part) it really makes you think. Great book.

This is a very good book if you're studying pathological narcissism. If you want to read the poorly constructed ravings of someone's entire life story without any reverence or humility, whose storytelling mechanics are so backwards that it's detrimental to the reading experience, then this book is for you. You can gain unique insights into the thinking process of a child who never quite grows out of the personal fable stage of development, and appears to genuinely believe that everyone else's life is measured by what they did for her specifically.