How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You

This book really makes a difference in working through the emotions and confusion but more importantly provides a roadmap to building a new relationship with yourself and life. Susan Elliott's books, her videos and this book's facebook group will honestly get you to the other side of grief, guilt and confusion.

This book not only helps you get through the initial shock and grief of a breakup, but more importantly facilitates genuine healing. I used this book along with Getting Back Out There. The two work well together--helping you work through your breakup and set boundaries in all areas of your life, not just in romantic relationships. I can't recommend this title enough!

While it gives examples based on romantic relationships, most of the book is a guide to deal with grief either by friendships, job and business relationships, family, etc. In general, how to deal with losses when you have invested too much of yourself. Quite useful advice!

This book provides great insight for anyone going through a rough break-up. I first discovered Susan's blog about 5 years ago and will occasionally return to the blog and her book when things don't work out with someone I am dating. A very adult book on how to deal with breakups without being too preachy.

So, SO much more than a "breakup book," this book is truly one of the most helpful things I have ever purchased in my life. Comforting, inspiring, encouraging, and validating, the focus is not on your breakup but on YOU--and how important it is to learn how much you really need to value and care for yourself, before anything else. The best part about this book is that it is valid whether or not you are getting over a breakup, because the philosophy she teaches is so crucial to coming into your own as an adult. I'm 34, and bought this book after having experienced the second breakup of what I consider my "adult" relationships, and what surprised me while reading this is that I realized just how much "work" I really needed to put into myself. After years of therapy, and tons of life-lessons, this book was the key to getting me to really dig deep into my own issues and DEAL with myself in a way I never have before. I can't recommend this book enough. 4 months down the road, I am still using her book as a guide to living my best life. Doing the work is HARD and takes commitment, but, it wasn't until I read this book that I realized it was TIME, and it would be worth it.

This really helped and comforted me during recent break up. I have read numerous books about break ups, but none of which cover all aspects of it. This book has truly helped me to actually let go and move on. - which is the hardest part of breaking up. I also appreciated that a lot of time was spent on focusing on yourself, and to better your self esteem and worth.
I highly recommend this one.

Very well written and narrated, and a must-read for anyone going through the pain and heartache after a break-up. I feel so much healthier after this break-up and being recommended this book. It helped me to understand and work through my grief in a healthier way and work through previous grief and issues that I had from before.

I bought this book about two years back while going through an extraordinarily dire situation in my life precipitated by a soul wrenching breakup amidst a raging recession threatening my source of income. I was desperately looking for anything and anybody who will help me. I went to the local bookshop for anything that will give me a magic potion. No book on the topic seemed to work for me at all till accidentally I came across Susan Elliott's blog and bought this book in a moment of desperation. I was convinced this was also destined to be another futile attempt.

I was wrong.

Susan Elliott's "Getting Past Your Breakup" is not an ordinary run of the mill post-breakup self-help book. Of the many books I have read on a variety of topics in my life, this is one that gets everything right. Yes, I repeat - it gets everything right! This is not a cliche or a hyperbole.

Susan very deeply understands what an end of a personal relationship means through her remarkable and inspirational personal journey. She analyses with clinical efficacy, the very core of the hurt, tears, self pity and appalling loneliness that threatens to sink you. The book clearly lays out the psychological and philosophical crossroads that your life has become after your loved one has left you. This is the book's starting point and every chapter thereof gently reminds you that the breakup is all about this personal crossroad and the choices you will make henceforth and not about that other heartless person who is so tormenting you right now.

The first part of the book is all about first aid. The best and most effective life saving first aid that is there on this issue. Whereas a tonne of post-breakup books hurriedly state the obvious and quickly start suggesting steps without any nuance or subtlety, Susan manages to keep it simple and stress the most important first steps to get back on your feet. By the time you are done with the first part you will already build a personal bond with Susan and listen to her like your elder sister or mother.

However, it is the next part what will probably change your life forever if you stick with it. Stressing the importance of detailed self analysis through her remarkably effective method of relationship and life inventories, the book will help you both heal and strengthen. With the stress on self focus and attention to details about things that can derail recovery, you will steadily progress. Yes, the process won't go linearly and there will be moments where you will feel you are sliding back. Don't despair, just re read the book, follow the described algorithms and read her blog.

After due course of time you will realize an amazing change in your life. It is guaranteed that you will feel you have improved in every possible dimension of life and as the book promises, you will indeed thank the breakup immensely as a legitimate price for an incredible personal development. A positive development which among other things will help you highly decrease the odds of falling for the wrong kind of people again in future.

To sum, if you are going through a painful breakup and looking for help, consider buying this book. This is worth the price and much more. The dark forces of your emotions can be very powerful and may not let you recover properly and quickly if left to the vagaries of time. Agreed that time does heal but the rate will be slow and you may unknowingly carry over a baggage from here which you must not. The baggage that will once again force you to fall for the wrong people and which will come down like a tonne of bricks when that also blows up on your face.

I have just finished Writing My Relationship and starting on Writing My Life and the Parent Inventory. This is very powerful! I am in the midst of a breakup right now. This is helping me look honestly, not only at that relationship, but my life patterns so that I can enter into a healthier relationship in the future.

I purchased this on my Kindle and read it through. I then ordered a paperback because I wanted to hi-lite the things that really stood out for me. This is my relationship bible. I really thought Ms. Elliott was talking to me because everything was clicking. This is a must for people just coming out of a relationship. Ms. Elliott is witty and we all need a good laugh especially when we are in such pain from being left behind. I have recommended this book to my women's group. I wish I could have attended Ms. Elliott's seminar in Virginia Beach but I was dirt poor.

"Getting Past Your Breakup" is the book for people who don't want to pay for therapy. I recently went through the terrible breakup of a long term relationship, and I really wanted to speak to a therapist to help me navigate my grief. I was very reticent to dole out a large amount of money for a therapist, so I decided to give this book a try. It was well worth the money. Written by a trained grief counselor, "Getting Past Your Breakup" walks you through the stages of grief in a way that I would never have been able to do myself.

The author, Susan Elliot, walks you through a relationship inventory and a life inventory, so you are able to see what types of partners you choose and why. Not only was I able to get through this difficult time, but I was also able to decide what I want for my future. I cannot praise this book enough, and I recommend it to anyone going through a particularly bad breakup or divorce.

Overall this book was my best friend through bad divorce. Especially relationship inventory helps looking back all of your life.

I wanted to take advantage of what was happening at the time during the divorce to a positive thing. Because I was devastated and hopeless, struggling everyday. The title of book inspired me! I first got this book from library but decided to purchase just because I had to.

I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who was hopeless. I am now happy and ready for new life!

This book honestly changed the way I went through my breakup process. It gave me a look at the reality of the breakup and lead me through exercises to understand why the breakup had to happen and how to move on from it. I would highly recommend this book to anyone going through a hard time. LOVED IT

This is definitely one of my favorite books (and trust me, I've read several). For me, I found this book very helpful and it did a great job of helping me find hope, which was so important. There are a few books that I have read over the years that I would say are "staples" in my library, this is definitely one of them. GREAT BOOK!

I bought this based on reviews on this site. When I purchased I wasnt sure it would work, I couldnt even get myself to read it. It was too painful, I would read a couple of pages and everytime I read something that applied I would stop reading leave it for a couple of days and get back to it. A year later I still havnt been able to read the entire book. I was in a toxic marriage that was doomed from the start. We have two children together and he left the house about a year ago. That was the best thing that ever happened to me. The breakup was painful at first, and sometimes it still bothers but this book saved my life. The No Contact Rule was what got me through the breakup. Of course time heals all wounds but this book made it a lot quicker. Also read How to break your addiction to a person and Codependent no more.

I was clueless about this book when I ordered it; I only saw it when I was ordering another book and it sounded ok so I ordered it too and WOW!! I feel like this is a must read for virtually everyone, not just those currently going thru a breakup.

I bought this book because my husband of 12 years suddenly just up and left--no warning, no explanations. I certainly didn't have the sort of resources to get therapy, so I bought this book, and I am so glad I did! It helped me to get past the pain, the obsessing, the bargaining and pleading...to get to knowing the real me, and finally fixing the things that had put me in this place so many times throughout my life.

Susan Elliott has been there, suffered, learned, and is sharing with those of us still clinging to relationships that are dead and gone. She gives practical solid advice and great insights. I understood my own breakup better, and was able to delve into my past and look at some issues there, too. No Contact is explained in depth, and why it works every time to prevent getting sucked back into a go-nowhere relationship that has already gone nowhere. Very helpful book!

This book was awesome! The advice and exercises in the book were instrumental in my healing from a breakup that left me reeling. I learned so much about myself and have come out the other side stronger and more confident and ready to take on the next chapter of my life.

This is one the best breakup books ever written. Beside helping you deal with your breakup or divorce the author provides specific work you can do to deal with issues you may have in your past (that could have led you to a relationship not good for you). Susan Elliott has written a book that is smart and sensible. If you follow her advice you can turn your breakup around to be the best thing that ever happened to you. Because you learn to love yourself.

Professional content providing direction and motivation to heal and move on when not concentrating on these feelings but only on those that should no longer be concerned about. This book helped me immensely to put me in the direction I needed to go.

This book saved my life, after a heartbreaking breakup. I recommend it to every one I know. It's not just good for after your break up, but will change your for better no matter what. Love Susan J Elliott! This book has changed my life for ever!

I enjoyed reading this book, it spoke to many incidents and situations in my life current and past. I would recommend to anyone going through a breakup, determining if their relationships are healthy, and recovering from a breakup.

Reading this book helped as I was going through a rough time. Getting divorced after 27 years together was heart-breaking but this book seemed to help quite a bit. I don't know if it made the divorce any easier but I didn't feel as alone.

This book explains how to go through grief and when to move on. A great book when you need to know where you or some one you love are at the stages of grief. The author also teaches you that you have a whole life ahead of you so you must spend it with that one special someone. and that someone is the person who will make you happy.

I went through a really bad breakup and this book really helped. Around this time a year ago I thought my life was over, I did not know what to do with myself. I got this book and started to read it and it really helped. Time did heal the pain, but this book help start the healing.

There are so many factors in dealing with a loss: the loss of what was, loss of dreams, hopes, and possibilities. This book addresses not only the uniqueness of each loss, but more importantly, how to recover from one! Many books speak of the brutal ache of loss, but not many share how to heal from one. This book helps with healing!!

This book is fantastic! The author deals directly with an unhappy topic, providing clear guidance and straightforward insight. The information and steps in this book address a romantic relationship, but could easily be applied to any relationship. I highly recommend this book to anyone struggling to get through the pain of a breakup.

Straight-up no-nonsense guide to getting through a breakup, regardless of the nature of it. I've found it incredibly helpful on more than one occasion and the people that I know who have read this book think it's a great process for recovering from heartache.

After a 4 year breakup, I was completely lost...shocked by the overwhelming feeling of "what now"..."how do I get through this"..."I'm not strong enough to get through this". I read the book, did all of the excercises in it & I felt better & better each day. I'm re-reading it now, to help anything that hadn't fully sunk in the first time register. This book was my "bible" for a while, & I'm so thankful that I read it. It's been only 2.5 months since the breakup & I feel like a new person. I had to let go of something & that was very painful, but all of the inventory lists that you create make such a difference. You're able to view the relationship in a different light. In reality I let go of a relationship that was painful (from the beginning) & now I have a different outlook. I know what I want & I believe it's attainable. I will never forget this book or the lessons I've learned because of it. I will buy it as a gift for anyone of my friends/family who will encounter future breakups, because it works. It's an amazing book, it's worth the read. If you do read it, do the homework - it makes the process so much easier to let go of the bad & look forward to your future. I know everything will be ok & that's thanks to this book.

I am newly separated from my husband of 25+ years, definitely his idea, not mine. While is sucks to feel rejected and forced to finish your life alone, this book has been a godsend. Very straightforward comments, thought-provoking analysis, and comforting. Like, when you read it, you think, "I can do this."

Highly recommend.

Straight-up no-nonsense guide to getting through a breakup, regardless of the nature of it. I've found it incredibly helpful on more than one occasion and the people that I know who have read this book think it's a great process for recovering from heartache.

After a 4 year breakup, I was completely lost...shocked by the overwhelming feeling of "what now"..."how do I get through this"..."I'm not strong enough to get through this". I read the book, did all of the excercises in it & I felt better & better each day. I'm re-reading it now, to help anything that hadn't fully sunk in the first time register. This book was my "bible" for a while, & I'm so thankful that I read it. It's been only 2.5 months since the breakup & I feel like a new person. I had to let go of something & that was very painful, but all of the inventory lists that you create make such a difference. You're able to view the relationship in a different light. In reality I let go of a relationship that was painful (from the beginning) & now I have a different outlook. I know what I want & I believe it's attainable. I will never forget this book or the lessons I've learned because of it. I will buy it as a gift for anyone of my friends/family who will encounter future breakups, because it works. It's an amazing book, it's worth the read. If you do read it, do the homework - it makes the process so much easier to let go of the bad & look forward to your future. I know everything will be ok & that's thanks to this book.

I am newly separated from my husband of 25+ years, definitely his idea, not mine. While is sucks to feel rejected and forced to finish your life alone, this book has been a godsend. Very straightforward comments, thought-provoking analysis, and comforting. Like, when you read it, you think, "I can do this."

Highly recommend.

Phenomenal book. Has changed my life dramatically and helpEd me work through both divorce and breakups. Susan is an inspiration and has given me so much hope that the right person is out there for me once I'm right with myself. Thank you Susan!

Very helpful in putting things in perspective at a time when emotions tend to get the best of you. Good for re routing negative and potentially harmful thoughts and actions into self care activities that really make a difference. Most important take home lesson for me "Believe in the process".

The advice Susan Elliott gives you is similar to what you'd hear from a good friend or older relative who has been there and done that. :-) It's all about common sense! Great advice to have on hand when you're feeling sad, vulnerable, and maybe even a little weak.