Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers - Will I Ever Be Good Enough?

Creepy, I swear the author must have been hiding in the bushes watching me, my whole life! So spot on. Has been very good so far. It isn't written as a mom hating or bashing book at all which is also really nice. Thank you to the author!

I started out a little insulted that my therapist had recommended this book to me. This couldn't possibly apply to me, I thought. This book completely changed my perspective of what I thought a narcissist woman looked like. I always thought narcissism was for extroverts, plastic surgery addicts, and people in showbiz. And because I'm an introvert, and my mother's also extremely introverted and reclusive, I never thought the definition of narcissism could apply to her behavior. But I was wrong. So, so wrong. As I turned the pages of this book, the stories brought flashbacks of my childhood...which amazed me. It felt like the author was gently leading me by the hand through a hall with many windows, and each of these windows had a different scene from my life. I went from denial, to rage, to sorrow, and finally, to acceptance of the loss of the idealized image I'd always had of my mother. This book helped me to understand my childhood and to move on from it. Most importantly, this book helped me to avoid the psychological 'pitfalls' that can befall many women who were raised by narcissists. It may or may not be surprising to learn that many folks who were raised by a narcissistic parent will grow up to have narcissistic traits themselves. If you are a woman who was raised with guilt and shame, and you were always made to feel as though you weren't worthy or good enough of your mother's love (either consciously or subconsciously), this book is for you, because you deserve to forgive and accept yourself, and move on. If you have always been afraid of having children because you don't ever want to turn out just like your own mother, then this book is definitely for you. It will help you to understand and to 'break the cycle'. I can't recommend this enough as a tool for healing your spirit... and regaining your authentic self. No less than 5 stars from me.

For many years I've searched for answers....WHY have I made so many unhealthy decisions in my life? I'm NOT stupid and I'm a "good person". WHY doesn't my mother love me? I found ALL the answers in Karyl's book. I had figured out a lot of this on my own...before finding her book... but now have it all validated. And I now have answers to all the UNanswered questions....

Karyl's book has set me FREE!!.

In writing this book, Karyl gave me one of the best gifts I've ever received (yes, in my whole life). It is so wonderful to know that there is not something wrong with me....to FINALLY have answers and to know that I have options in dealing with my mother. I have been given the tools to make good decisions. I can now determine if my mother is so broken that it is not possible to have a "non" relationship with her....whatever my decision....it IS OKAY!!

Also, it's nice to discover that I am not alone in my struggle with my mother...yet it saddens me to know that so many women go through the same horrible thing with their mothers. At least I am no longer alone in my journey.

I would recommend this book (and have) to anyone that has a difficult mother....to think I can give someone else the freedom that this book has given me...would be worth all the pain and suffering.

Although I found this book a painful read at times, it was because the writing deeply touched upon the painful memories of my life with my narcissistic mother. Powerful advice and helpful journaling activities are child throughout this book.

I highly recommend this book for any woman who suspects she's been raised by a narcissistic mother. Even if said mother cannot be clinically diagnosed as narcissistic this book will help you understand and identify the behaviors that may have negatively affected your development. It will help you see how the decisions you made as an adult were affected by your childhood environment. I have not read the last part of the book yet but since it has been so good thus far I believe it will at least be able to set you on the right path to healing and recovery. In my opinion only God can truly heal you from the childhood hurts and continued lifestyle you've lived as a result of them. However, identifying the problem is half the battle and this book has helped me tremendously in that regard. I highly recommend it!

I actually found this book by accident. But the title said it all. And every page was chock full of information that helped me understand why I do and say the things I do. This is one of three self-help books I've read in my life that has so completely spoken to me and helped me overcome self-destructive behavior. This book IS good enough!

Kudos to Karyl McBride, PhD! I am a practicing psychotherapist in CT and while the DSM says about 2% of the population has full blown NPD, I think it may be double that. I have highly recommended this highly insightful and helpful book to at least a dozen clients and all have thanked me, with one saying that she wished she had read this 20 years ago! BTW While it was written for the daughters of narcissism, sons and others can benefit from a read as well. Jody Koval, LPC

I purchased this to Understand who my Mother had been toward me. The sad part is, she will and would never admit this to me or anyone else in the family or this world of ours. Too bad it wasn't available when I was a little younger at the time I knew my mother was treating me like my matters of the heart were of no interest to her or the betterment of my own self or life.

This is a Must for anyone with a Narcissistic Relative in the family no matter if it is their Mother or some other family member to be labeled with the way they come to Master the world to their views in the ignorance of not realizing this is not the way a life should be for anyone to make themselves happy for any reasonable thoughts of life without them to be ruled over.

I read this book hoping for some insight. And found one story I could relate to regarding my mother.
Unfortunately, there is no resolution on how to deal with a Narcissistic mother. Either cut contact or limit contact.

My psychiatrist recommended this book for me and I was hesitant at first but once I started reading it I could not put it down.. I finished it in about 3 days and for once in my life feel free of anger and grudge against my mother. The book talks about others who experience narcissistic mother's and it's amazing to think there are a lot out there... I thought I was the only one!... the guided recovery process in this book really pinpoints true deep feelings and it's so liberating after completing it. I will forever be thankful for this book because it's given me a whole new perspective on not only myself but my mother... I highly highly recommend it to any daughter who has dealt with this frustration in life of not having a loving mother. It really does follow us into adulthood and this book has seriously given me a new sense of life!

Amazing insight and stories full of women who have struggled with their self, their relationships and life in general. I have been to marriage counseling for years and it wasn't until I read this book I realized how messed up my thinking was due to my mothers control of my life. I always felt I needed to " give her a good report" on my kids behavior, grades , etc and my husband as well. The tables have turned in our relationship and she no longer gets an " update " unless I choose to offer!!!!! This book talks about forgiving your mother and understanding she wasn't given what she needed from her mother as well but to grow into your own women whether it pleases her or not!!!!!

A horrible, hurtful childhood and a mother who cannot bear to see happiness in me as an adult. Finally I understand why she is like this and just how much damage she has done to me. I am 48 years old and finally am able to understand what I am dealing with. I should be devastated about how much her narcissistic behavior damaged me, instead I feel relief, I have a way forward now.

I recently learned about maternal narcissism and just happened to run across this book one day. It explains SO MUCH of my childhood and adult years and the interactions I've had with my mother. I have recommended this book to friends and family- especially my aunts who were raised by a narcissist. It makes sense to me now where my mother gets her tendencies.1 what I love most about this book is the suggestions for healing and working toward a relationship with the narcissistic mother. It's all about boundries and standing up for yourself and remembering your value.

Dr McBride, you have done a great service for all of the daughters (and some sons) out there that have questioned and beaten themselves up for not being enough to their mothers. You have made it very clear how elusive and dangerous the relationship between the narcissist and her daughter can be. I feel that I can finally make sense of all of the incongruous behavior that I have witnessed and been a target for, over my life time. Thank you very much for putting this together for us and for writing this book. I am well on my way to healing for myself and in my relationship with my daughter. I have repeated many behaviors with her and am learning how to have a healthier relationship with her! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I Am Free!

A good book for anyone suffering from narcissistic parents. If you feel like you'll never be good enough, read this book. It gives you more of an understanding and perspective on how to feel better.

Amazing book, well written...and I really felt as though I was the author of the book. It is very eye opening and a lot of what I had been feeling and couldn't figure out what those feelings were and why I was feeling them. Unfortunately, there are many of us now mothers of our own trying to identify the "void" and the "emptiness" feeling that at least I have lived with all my life....Now it's just a matter of trying to recover and to be a good mother to 3 boys...Which I know I am a good mother and a mother who gives all 3 of my angels all the love, support, confidence, self reliance that they will need to continue to be good people, role models, fathers, and husbands.
I thank you for writing this book as it has opened a new page in my very long long book...

This book has helped inform my practice as a clinical social worker in many ways. Dr. McBride takes an uncomfortable topic and makes it easy to read then offers her readers helpful, step-by-step instructions on how to cope with and move on from damage done by narcissistic mothers.

although some (very few) of what was covered did not apply to my mom because I had a good childhood, it was right on the mark. highly recommend. Lookiing back at my childhood though, I realize most of what mom did for us was for her self-agrandizement. But we didn't know it at the time. My dad acted as a buffer. She lives with me now at 92 and this book helps me get through every day. I wrote a note on the front of the book..."Not for her, but I'm good enough for me!" as a reminder.

I bought this book after a pretty traumatic family holiday. It was the first time I ever really considered that my mother was a narcissist, so when I started reading the book, I felt like I was discovering a whole new world. I wasn't the crazy one anymore, and I could finally point to something besides my own experience when talking through my family's history with my husband. I'm still working on it, but I'm finally learning to live for myself and stop worrying about pleasing my mother.

I have revisited this book a couple of times (it's time I do it again- age is only making Mom worse), and I highly recommend it to anyone with a narcissistic mother, male or female. Spouses/partners/significant others of women with narcissistic mothers should also give this a read.

This book validated many of the beliefs and experiences I had (and still have) with my mother. I recommend it to anyone who has had to live with a narcissistic mother. Whether you've have therapy or not, this book may help you learn more about yourself and your self-worth.

Excellent book; really helped me understand the patterns between my mother and myself. Now that I understand her limitations, I can choose to interact differently with her and stop hoping for an emotionally validating mother. Liberating!

As a daughter of a narcissistic mother who has had to cut contact with her for safety reasons, I was disappointed that the book came down to the author reconciling with her mother. I wasn't able to finish it, because it just wasn't what I thought it would be from the description. I was hoping to be able to relate to the author a little more, but I just couldn't.

There has been so much written about this book already, I could tell of my life of my up bringing with a narcissist. But I would have no choice but to lie about my age! ( kidding I'm 52) There is alot to appreciate about this book, I enjoyed the easy story like writing, I was pulled in by the fact that she didn't write it to help us stay victoms. But to come to a place of healing, then forgiveness. I read MANY reviews about narcissism, and did my best to choose a book that I could relate too. This is a very well written book! Yes, I would and have recommended it to family and friends!

I'm a therapist with a narcissistic mother. I read this book 3 years ago and found it very helpful and accessible and have shared it with one sibling and several clients, co-workers and friends. I appreciated the validation and clarity Dr. McBride provides about family dynamics and how our personalities can form when we have a mother with narcissism. I also appreciated the way she does not vilify anyone, but tends to speak transparently and with compassion often by sharing her own experience in learning ways to communicate and be with her mom. It made the book feel human and relatable. My favorite part of the book is probably the chapter towards the end where Dr. McBride lists all the ways we can learn to play, practice self-care or have fun; something I personally struggled with, especially after my divorce. I had been a parentified child and was not good at justifying play, even as an adult. The list became a helpful reflective tool that I used to rebuild self-care; it made it safe to consider play as part of a healthy life.

This book changed everything for me. I finished the book in two days. I think that over the years I concluded that my childhood was to blame for my bad days. However, if I were to say that out loud people would think I was just crazy. Words just cannot express how much this book has helped me heal (still helping). I can finally say to myself that 'it's not your fault.' My hope is that I can get my sister to read the book and have the same feelings. Maybe we can learn to be lovable women and get what we deserve! Thank you for this book!

Do you have problems with self-worth/self-esteem/self-acceptance?
Are you always trying to prove yourself to the world, and never feel good enough regardless of how good you are?
Do people's opinion of you and criticisms overly affect you?
Do you have trouble accepting/believing compliments?
Do you attract people/partners who don't value you?
Do you suspect that your mother's criticisms, lack of empathy or envy may be to blame for some of the above issues? (if you' re looking into this book, you probably are, and you're probably right!)

I'm not one to share personal stories online with strangers, so I won't. But what I can say is that this book has been a real eye opener and a much needed validation (especially for someone who had never looked into the subject before!). If you read the description of the narcissistic mother and think: "OMG, that's my mom!", then you've found the right book.

I wish I could tell you that it will fix all your problems, but it won't. However, it will give you an understanding of where your feelings and behaviors come from. From there, it's up to you to work on your individual issues (and decide how to deal with your narcissistic mother – good luck with that!).

This is an AMAZING book for children of narsistic mothers or fathers for the children to understand that they are the way they are due to their upbringing and they they are normal in how they feel. Also, more importantly, it helped me to feel that I AM good enough!! Passed this to my siblings as well!! THANK YOU Dr. Karyl McBride!!!

This is a very helpful book. First it helps identify what happened in our childhood to make us feel the way we do. Then step by step, we are taught new ways of seeing ourselves. It does miss going in to detail on some very strong emotions that are involved with separating from a narcissistic mother. The most helpful part is learning to listen to my inner voice and realizing I use narcissistic manipulation on occasion and I am now alerted to stop it in my tracks.

Thank you to Dr. Karyl McBride for writing a book that was so "right-on!"
I honestly checked this book out of the library because of the subject matter and loved it so much that I decided to purchase a copy.
I have never read a book that was so amazingly right to the point. She hit the nail on the head. The self-help topics were really helpful and also easy to fulfill.
I can't thank her enough.
This has helped me tremendously in my healing process.
Now I know that all of my thoughts and feelings are real and not "ridiculous."
Thank you.

It's been a long journey of seeking therapy & help. This finally helped shape what I have been trying to understand for years about my Mom, I wish I had known sooner. It helps start & continue healing from a relationship that is so vital but has been so destructive that it permeates your life, I am thankful for this book, I hope it helps you too.

This book is amazing. It has helped me realise why i will never have that traditional mother daughter relationship. Also why I haven't been successful in the romance department. Reading it has given me the peace of mind to stop feeling guilty about the state of affairs between my mother and I. Really good read!!!!

Do you have problems with self-worth/self-esteem/self-acceptance?
Are you always trying to prove yourself to the world, and never feel good enough regardless of how good you are?
Do people's opinion of you and criticisms overly affect you?
Do you have trouble accepting/believing compliments?
Do you attract people/partners who don't value you?
Do you suspect that your mother's criticisms, lack of empathy or envy may be to blame for some of the above issues? (if you' re looking into this book, you probably are, and you're probably right!)

I'm not one to share personal stories online with strangers, so I won't. But what I can say is that this book has been a real eye opener and a much needed validation (especially for someone who had never looked into the subject before!). If you read the description of the narcissistic mother and think: "OMG, that's my mom!", then you've found the right book.

I wish I could tell you that it will fix all your problems, but it won't. However, it will give you an understanding of where your feelings and behaviors come from. From there, it's up to you to work on your individual issues (and decide how to deal with your narcissistic mother – good luck with that!).

This is an AMAZING book for children of narsistic mothers or fathers for the children to understand that they are the way they are due to their upbringing and they they are normal in how they feel. Also, more importantly, it helped me to feel that I AM good enough!! Passed this to my siblings as well!! THANK YOU Dr. Karyl McBride!!!

This is a very helpful book. First it helps identify what happened in our childhood to make us feel the way we do. Then step by step, we are taught new ways of seeing ourselves. It does miss going in to detail on some very strong emotions that are involved with separating from a narcissistic mother. The most helpful part is learning to listen to my inner voice and realizing I use narcissistic manipulation on occasion and I am now alerted to stop it in my tracks.

Thank you to Dr. Karyl McBride for writing a book that was so "right-on!"
I honestly checked this book out of the library because of the subject matter and loved it so much that I decided to purchase a copy.
I have never read a book that was so amazingly right to the point. She hit the nail on the head. The self-help topics were really helpful and also easy to fulfill.
I can't thank her enough.
This has helped me tremendously in my healing process.
Now I know that all of my thoughts and feelings are real and not "ridiculous."
Thank you.

It's been a long journey of seeking therapy & help. This finally helped shape what I have been trying to understand for years about my Mom, I wish I had known sooner. It helps start & continue healing from a relationship that is so vital but has been so destructive that it permeates your life, I am thankful for this book, I hope it helps you too.

This book is amazing. It has helped me realise why i will never have that traditional mother daughter relationship. Also why I haven't been successful in the romance department. Reading it has given me the peace of mind to stop feeling guilty about the state of affairs between my mother and I. Really good read!!!!

Excellent book putting into practice so I don't pass down this awful legacy to my daughters and I'm getting positive results. It has really opened my eyes to how I can better communicate to them. It is not an easy change but it is worth the effort because even small improvements are making a huge difference.

Good validation for girls who may think the relationship with their mother was their fault. This can help them understand that their mother had significant problems and was not able to be the kind of mother they needed and it was not their fault.

As the adult child of narcissistic parents, this book offers guidelines and stories that helped me understand the destructive nature of narcissism and to heal the wounds it created. If you are ready to heal and to start living your life from a more powerful perspective, release your judgments of your parents, and close the door on your past, this book will help.

Karyl McBride was inspired when she wrote this book. I can't say enough for the wisdom and knowledge she offers in dealing with and understanding narsosictic mothers and the personal disorders that are manifested from them.
This book has been a life saver as it has helped me to realize that I'm not the only one out there and exactly why is my mother treating me the way she does. Finding the whys, understanding the disorder and discovering the answers in this amazing book has helped to change my perspective and response behaviors practically overnight.
The format is easy to follow, the explanations are straight forward and the perspective Karyl brings from her own personal experience helps you to know that this is written from a real life experience with professional guidance.
I would highly recommend this book for any daughter who is seeking out information and understanding as to "why" her relationship with her mother is not what she thought it would or should be. You won't be able to put the book down.

McBride gets down to specifics that only those who have lived this situation will understand; she identified and explained things I have been feeling and saying for years. Because denial is such an integral part of the narcissistic pathology, it's easy for victims and bystanders to suffer confusion and self-doubt. This murk really messed with my head for years. I've found other ways of understanding what happened, but this book provides a play-by-play description of the exact problem. Much appreciated; calming and liberating.

A friend casually mentioned this to me after her inadvertenly finding this book in her step-daughter's bag. I only wish that I had read this decades ago. For my sister and I, it was a relief to finally be able to put a name to the madness. Not only did the book accurately describe portions of my childhood with my mom, it also gives great coping skills - a really big step towards healing the emotional scars.

In short: an absolutely phenomenal book.

I just moved out into college and my roommate was very close with her family. I soon began to realize there's something not quite right with my relationship with my mother; I've always had my suspicions- but she puts a great facade, and I'm made out to be the "crazy one". I bought this book along with a few others ( beginning with the emotionally absent mother, toxic parenting, and some ) and I cried so much. They really hit me. This book in particular, the case stories, are so vividly accurate of what I had experienced. The insidious competitiveness, manipulation, and unworthiness I had felt growing up. If you had ever, ever felt alone, unloved in the world, this book was meant for you all along. When every mothers day your friends scramble for something meaningful to give to theirs, when you cringe when she puts her arm around you or hugs you- whilst your best friend may eagerly clamber into her mothers embrace for reassurance, you weep for the mother you never had. But this book is empathy that you craved all along, and the understanding you never realized you needed. Praise for "Will I Ever Be Good Enough"! A wildly enthralling read, the stories are captivating and colorful, the voice of the author is soothing as an angel.

I only hope my positive review and five stars can bring this book to greater attention, for boy did I wish I had read this earlier!