How to Stop Struggling and Start Living - The Illustrated Happiness Trap

ByRuss Harris

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Readers` Reviews

★ ★ ★ ★ ★
natt
Truly an eye opening book themed with telling it like it is. This book dispels possible myths of chasing an elusive mystery - Happiness. Is it what we really think? A recommended read full of discovery and concepts that promises to open the mind to new views and alternate pathways to explore.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
sbadhn
I highly recommend this book. It is an amazing overview of ACT therapy. As a new therapist some of my cousework briefly highlight ACT but they did not get into as much detail as this book has. I have really come to love this form of therapy since it does not focus strategies that people have to do in order to change. In fact Harris talks about making room for ones problems and allowing ourselves to recognize that these thoughts which may lead to problems are always going to be there. By defusing the power that these thoughts have in our lives allows us to focus on things in our life that take us to where we want to be. Overall a highly recommended read.
★ ★ ★ ★ ☆
blagomir petrov
The premise: Trying to be happy is what is making you unhappy. Stop running from pain. Stop trying to avoid hardships. It's the root cause of your unhappiness. Life is not always peachy. In fact, it can be downright miserable at times. Trying to turn everything into a positive, to always be happy about things, is an uphill battle that is impossible to win. It's to deny the very essence of life.

Instead of trying to be happy all the time, simply accept things for what they are. Realize that you cannot always control your thoughts and your life. The unexpected happens, and instead of thinking you are "weird" for being unhappy, you should realize that happiness is not the default state of mind. This is the happiness trap: people will do anything to be happy, even if it ruins their lives. For instance, think about drug users: they use drugs to try to experience happiness. However, their happiness is ever-fleeting, brief, and unsustainable over the long-term. In fact, over the long-term, most drug users are miserable, depressed individuals. To counter this, they do more drugs, and the cycle continues.

Happiness comes from within. Unpleasant experiences, thoughts, etc. should be experienced in full. Don't try to "sweep them under the rug", ignore them, block them out, etc. Just let it happen, and in the end, you will be liberated in a sense, because you will have realized that unhappiness is a part of life. You'll learn to let go and just experience life. Happiness comes from within, and to appreciate the sweet you need to also experience the sour. Worrying, anxiety, depression, and so on are natural responses to real dangers in the world. We could not survive as a species without learning to worry. We can be anxious because we can ponder unpleasant alternatives, and we understand how some things are up to chance. These are by-products of our higher cognition, and the sooner you can accept that, the quicker you can understand that trying to chase happiness is somewhat misguided.

All in all, this book is an interesting perspective on life and what happiness really means. I highly recommend it if you suffer with anxiety, worrying, depression, etc. or if you are just interested in these things.
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★ ★ ★ ★ ★
nicolle
Very very good book if you are struggling with any kind of panic/anxiety/depression disorder. He gives tips how to "unhook" from the movies we make up in our heads. If you think you are one of these people, it would be worth a try.
★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆
jaydeep
There were some good suggestions in this book, but it develops a taxonomy of actions that are so detailed that they are not practical to follow. I really liked the title, but it does not offer a useful solution to problems that are mentioned. He seems to be contending that psychological problems should not be rationalized, but the taxonomy of actions is so abstract that it seems to elevate rationalization to a whole new level.

I find it very difficult to separate thoughts from emotions and actions. Some of the methods that he suggests to deal with thoughts like saying "Thanks Mind," were on the juvenile side and setting aside the thoughts surely seemed like rationalization to me.

I found the theoretical discussion to be interesting, but frankly the book did very little to to help me with my life situations.
★ ★ ★ ★ ☆
pawe dziuba ka
Great strategies to help overcome feelings and thoughts that make you over think situations that may never happen because they are just thoughts in your head. The strategies enable you to put them into perspective and to be able to deal with them in a logical and effective manner. Really enjoyed the chapter of 'The Great Storyteller'.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
cosied
Great book. I've read many books about practical applications of psychotherapy including "The Lost Art of Listening," "We've Had One Hundred Years of Psychotherapy (and the world's getting worse)" "The Soul's Code" "Gestalt Therapy Verbatum" and have found "The Happiness Trap" to be especially helpful.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
ann aka iftcan
I had tried mindfulness generally but felt something was lacking that stopped me going forward. I could stay in the moment, or bring myself back to the moment but wasn't sure what to do next - this book gave me the something - the commitment to doing things for myself that matter to me , along with acceptance of what is , not what should be could be etc. The pushing through to doing things that benefit my soul purpose can be confronting but I realise that so many times when I am overwhelmed I stop doing the things that matter to me and this starts a downward spiral.

It takes practice but for me it is working
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
ycunningham
Excellent, user friendly book with expert but practical advice, ready to use exercises for self help or use with clients. Recomended for CBT A ACT or motivatimotivational interviewing experts - Harris seems to have brought to life philosophies echoed by Ellis, Hayes, and Miller. Love this book!
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
penniphurr
As someone who is a practicing therapist, I have been intrigued by Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for some time now. I tried to read Dr. Steven Hayes' book "Acceptance and Commitment Therapy", but it seemed very dense and difficult to understand. I tried the various books by New Harbinger Press on ACT therapy and while they were useful, I still was unsure I understood ACT properly.

Then came Dr. Russ Harris' "The Happiness Trap"...

What a joy it was for me to read this book! Dr. Harris has the rare ability to explain difficult concepts in a very straight-forward way. Now I can finally say with conviction that I know and understand ACT therapy thanks to Dr. Harris and this book. However, you don't have to be a mental health professional to read and appreciate this book. In fact, the book seems to have been written for non-professionals because there are no psychological terms in this book. Instead, you will get clearly written and easy to understand concepts that are both empowering and insightful. I highly recommend this book to both the layperson who is trying to live a more valued and meaningful life and my mental health brethren who, like me, have been trying to understand ACT, but to no avail. Remarkably, "The Happiness Trap" is the answer to both groups.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
calculon
Bought to see if it would be an appropriate accompanying book for an ACT group I am starting in the state prison I work in. I found that it was an easy read and yet did an excellent job of conveying the essence of the concepts and practices.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
torrey
Quick and to the point, for my attention span when it comes to reading (in-between little and none) I was able to finish this book rather quickly and get the main points out of it. Not for everyone, but if you, like me, have read the first 10 pages of hundreds of books, than this is for you!
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
gerald lane
Very effective cognitive technology. Emphasized moving away from emotional regulation to value based living and opening up to depth of experience. The happiness trap is thinking that we can create a state of "happiness." The belief is that we can reduce suffering by not wrestling with our emotions and creating a wider dynamic range of acceptable emotional expressions. Cognitive strategies to wrangle with emotions create suffering in the long run. Fusing and defusing with thoughts and sensations are important concepts. Non-evaluative modes of experiencing thoughts and feelings go a long way to freeing us.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
knarik avetisyan
My views on happiness were revolutionized within 50 pages. Read this if you're unhappy or sad. It helped me understand that happiness is kind of a myth. We are wired to worry. Everybody has depressing times.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
priscilla nightingale
This book is an "eye opener" from start to finish. IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE! The presentation of solutions for so many of life's struggles is so well presented and easily understood. I immediately bought a copy for my daughter. I want to share it with everyone.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
matt quirion
This book describes the Acceptance-commitment-therapy. This type of therapy is useful in depression, anxiety and other mental illness.
I would recommend this book for any who has stress and/or anxiety in their life.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
holly fisher
Great book. Makes a lot of sense. Shit happens. You will feel upset, sad, pissed off and a lot of other things on occasion. Learn to stop fighting these feelings and instead put them in their rightful place and focus on your values.
★ ★ ★ ★ ☆
cynthia adams
Having suffered from depression for over 40 years this book has helped me deal with the baggage so well. The original concepts are easy to apply and I can stop myself from focussing on my negative thoughts which can be overwhelming. I would recommend it for those ready to take some control of the negative side of thoughts and moving into a happier place.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
mahrukh
This book has helped me begin to reshape my thinking and perspective. Its easy to fall into overthinking things, and this book helps explain how to live with strength and happiness without overthinking.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
b november
Definitely a good read for those looking for a different approach to the traditional CBT therapy. The short chapters helped me read quickly as I could 'sneak' a bit in during a break from work or when I didn't have much time. The free, downloadable content is helpful as well. Admittedly, I read through the book without doing most of the exercises. However, now that I've finished the book I am implementing many of the techniques for defusion, expansion, etc.
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