No More Mr. Nice Guy

This book is incredible "on" target. It is so insightful and helpful. The author has a way of conveying such specifically accurate realistic applications for people that have lost themselves to an inner "nice guy"- one of the best books I have ever read.

reading truth can burn. But fire can cleansing. It hurt to read these words, but I know I am a much better person for it. if the title intrigued you and you feel something absent or defective in your life, I would highly recommend this book

This book identifies things, so subtle you won't notice them yourself, holding you back from a full and forfilling life.
After just realising these things, my life took a turn for the way better. Both with women, my career and my family relations.

Through this very easy to understand book, I found out what I was doing wrong in life and have fixed it. I cannot say enough good things about this book and the discussion forum that goes with this book.

Dr. Glover's highly readable book delivers succinctly insight after insight on the all but pervasive "Nice Guy syndrome." Without doubt, No More Mr. Nice Guy is the most illuminating explanation on the people-pleasing, self-abnegating pathology I have discovered.

No More Mr. Nice Guy is an interesting read though it appears to omit some fundamental tenets about human behavior and childhood conditioning. Had I not read Lindsay Gibson's "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents and Carl Vincent's "Help! I have a Cardinal Parent" Help! I have a Cardinal Parent [Article] (How to Use the Stars Book 2) before "No More Mr. Nice Guy," I might have put it down after the first chapter. Glover does a great job identifying part of the core of the problem why so many guys these days are "nice" - yet he probably hasn't considered the root of the problem for at least a significant number of them: single motherhood and acting "nice" as a survival strategy. From what I understand, the brain fails to forms neuronal connections (that "normal" men do develop) as a result of a challenging childhood environment. In other words, even if adult life demands that "nice" men stand up for themselves, because of the effects of childhood trauma and conditioning, they may initially be neurobiologically unable to make the transition because their brains simply don't have the right connections. It not only takes time to make them, if I trust Norman Doidge's assessment for instance, it may also require a steady commitment that does NOT involve self-punishment for failing to immediately make the transition. Glover doesn't appear to stress enough how strong the negative impact of shame and punishment by perfectionist, demanding and controlling caregivers can be. While he does recommend seeking "safe" people to start the process of becoming the real man in oneself, he fails to use the important term (self-)empathy which many nice appear to need in order to develop the confidence for changing their outlook and approach to life to a more masculine version. Along the same lines, Glover does stress the two aforementioned aspects (modern) childhood (i.e., single motherhood and survival) (several times in fact) that turn otherwise very capable men into people-pleasers and self-neglecters, yet he fails to establish the crucial link with brain development and trauma.

Even more importantly, though, Glover, at least in the beginning of this book, neglects to identify the two fundamental ways in which all children appear to deal with a challenging environment: internalization or externalization. If I use Lindsay Gibson's book as a guide, Glover appears to be an externalizing alpha-male because he is quick to blame "nice" men for their situation before explaining what might have caused their condition - without taking back some of his blaming.

Another psychological aspect that No More Mr. Nice Guy appears to omit is what characterizes Carl Vincent's work and those who write about narcissism. There appear to be only two distinct personality types regardless of upbringing, race, social status, gender or genetics: those who seek to blame others for their own mistakes and make them pay and solve the problem (let's call them Type X, and those who take responsibility and seek to fix the problem though not necessarily by themselves ("Type Z"). Glover shoves all nice men (initially) into the same, former category. This not only detracts from Glover's message, it also diminishes the validity of the rest of the book. In other words, "No More Mr. Nice Guy" quickly went from being a "cure-all" to interesting background info that should be taken into the proper context together with the aforementioned authors' works. I have met plenty of nice "doormat" men with disappointing marriages and half-fulfilled professional careers who were otherwise very intelligent, hardworking and responsible. Yes, it would be nice, pun intended, to see them act more masculine, but being "nice" doesn't make them less valuable members of society and that is what Glover appear to want us to believe. Women carry a significant responsibility for rearing "nice" men. If Carl Vincent is correct, they do it for a purpose, and yet they are not alone. Neglectful, irresponsible fathers carry just as much weight in this equation. If only we could prevent the Type X people from ever having children, we might prevent a lot of misery and "nice" behavior. In the meantime, guys, let's give a shout out to all the folks who help us identify how to (quickly and empathically) retrain our "nice" brains into "masculine" versions. Considering that's a utopia we're unlikely to reach anytime soon, I use a shortcut from LeBron James and featured in an article in Psychology Today: self-talk. It goes like this: for every area that I find I need changing based on Glover's recommendations and where I fear to tread, I say": [My own name], go do that. Works like a charm - now, if only I would remember to do it it more often.

This book is very insightful in many ways. Dr. Glover's exercises also seem well constructed to help nice guys become better men. His approach, however, is amoral- someone who believes in religion and moral truths will likely have difficulty performing some of his exercises... And I, for one, wouldn't encourage them.

I’ve read my fair share of “self help” books over the years. Most were less than notable. Some would occasionally make me think - offering an interesting insight or recommendation worth considering. You could get something of value from them.

Dr. Robet Glover’s “No More Mr. Nice Guy” is in a league of its own. All I can say is “wow” . It seemed that about every third or fourth page contained a glimpse into myself - my personality, my behavior, my thought process, and the childhood experiences that set the stage for all of it. As I tore through the book, I gained real insight into my own flawed thinking and self-sabotaging behaviors that undermined two succesive marriages (and more than a few serious relationships). I am about to re-read the book, and begin doing the “breaking free” exercises. It seems THIS self-help book has the potential to have a life altering impact. Stay tuned.

This book is definitely recommended for those who have always been known as "nice guys" and want to get the most out of life. It is a psychology book without all of the "touchy feely sharing" stuff of other books written in a female influenced world.

If you are a "nice guy" you will be amazed at certain things; like how predictable you may be. At times I felt like this book was written for me alone. In a way it was a bit concerning as no man wants to be that predictable; but the silver lining here is that if the reader is predictable, so will be the outcomes.

The only problem I see with this book is follow up. I was ready to move forward but found no where to go to follow my "no more Mr. nice Guy" path. The website is not comprehensive enough to help with this issue and most of the ads cross over to seduction topics which may turn off some if not many. The website is not a testament to the book however.

I do recommend this book but do not expect to be cured out of your "nice guy" when you are done. The book is a first step into recognizing the issues of nice guys and what to do to get better.

It's actually a 2 1/2 star because I feel that this author puts a lot of focus into developing and breaking free of the nice guy syndrome which is great and very helpful, in fact he gives very helpful advice to help you realize what you're doing and how to break free and become more independent and have high self worth to avoid seeking approval of anyone or anything else except your own personal approval. However, with that being said this book also talks a lot about these guys who take his classes and his study groups settle for divorce rather than trying to fix themselves in order to be a man and fix their relationship that he probably screwed up in the first place by being a man instead of a wimp. After these guys go through the course they basically say screw the relationship and do whatever you want and if your wife isn't happy leave her. To me thats not words of wisdom from a strong male, that's horrible information for anyone who reads this book. I'm a little over half way and this author repeats himself over and over again on the same topic, to what? make the book longer? drill in the concept? I'm sure he could've made his book shorter rather than repeating himself multiple times on the same topics. If you still choose to read this just understand these are personal opinions and not everything in here applies to all men.

Just finished reading the book and it's alright. Be a man, hang out with men, put your needs and self first to be successful. A few of the activities actually worked to remind me about the masculine mindset.

I recently discovered the issue that i was having with women and myself. I have been in therapy for 2 years and discovered a lot what was already in this book but the book has enlightened me more to my issues. I wish i found this first. i have not completed the book however i felt i needed to write a review because i have connected to so much of what is taught in this book. One of the truisms of this book is since a large majority of men have been raised by women, we have not learned to be men. Women complain a lot of how men act now, the issue is we don't have male figures growing up and we have lost what it is to be a man, we must re train ourselves for the benefit of ourselves and the women around us. We must become the conquerer, the warrior, not the floor mat or the "what every you honey" guy. this is definitely a stepping stone to learning more about this idea.

Whoa this book has been massively expanded my reality regarding some of the subconscious modalities which I've operated from my entire life. As a recovering nice guy I completely needed the smack in the head and found it so amazingly valuable. I am so appreciative of Dr. Robert glover for all of his work and exceptional and search guarding the nice guy syndrome and how to break free from those glass barriers!!

This book explains exactly what's wrong with me complete with exercises to cure my syndrome. Written by a man who has gone through the same thing as what every other people who need to read the book is going through.

This book was so good I unexpectedly ended up reading it in a day. Absolutely life changing, I felt like I was reading a book about myself. All I can say is if you're a nice guy who has any type of relationship issues, you NEED this book!

I was totally blown away by how well this book changed my life. It took me 3 weeks to finish this book, but only took me a week to read, the reason being is I opened the book, read the first chapter, got completely freaked out about how accurate it was, had anxiety about becoming a 'jerk', stashed it away, was afraid to read it again, and then I read some reviews and built up the courage to read it through. One week after reading it and a lot has changed. My love life, my sex life, my work life, and my relationship with my father has changed. Not perfect, but improving.

Before anyone buys this book, realize that Dr. Robert Glover is not teaching you how to be a jerk or an A-hole. He's simply teaching you how to become an integrated male. One who wears the pants in your relationship, and one who is not in the passenger seat, but steering the wheel of your life.. Every man should read this book. Take time to read it and do the activities and it will help you become the man you were born to be. I'm going to be reading this book again.

Thanks, Dr. Robert Glover

Every man should read this book. Well written and touches on the psyche and reasons why current society screws over guys and how women think they actually run the world. Unfortunately they do run the world, but men can take it back.

One of the most life changing books I have read and applied to my life. Though the title expresses at first glance that this a "be mean to get your way" book that is not what this book is about. It is about getting free from the Nice Guy syndrome. Being free to get your own needs met and gaining the strength to bring change to current situations and the strength to walk away from intolerable situations instead of trying a million ways to please others in the hope that they will return the favor.

I think this is one of the most helpful books that I have read this year. If you are constantly losing out, not hitting on girls, etc. This is the book that you want to read. This should be in every nice guys library.

This book is a brilliant manual, especially for young men who are tired of feeling vicitmized in their lives.
A must read if you are partial to pro-active change. You need this book to take the next big step.

It's actually a 2 1/2 star because I feel that this author puts a lot of focus into developing and breaking free of the nice guy syndrome which is great and very helpful, in fact he gives very helpful advice to help you realize what you're doing and how to break free and become more independent and have high self worth to avoid seeking approval of anyone or anything else except your own personal approval. However, with that being said this book also talks a lot about these guys who take his classes and his study groups settle for divorce rather than trying to fix themselves in order to be a man and fix their relationship that he probably screwed up in the first place by being a man instead of a wimp. After these guys go through the course they basically say screw the relationship and do whatever you want and if your wife isn't happy leave her. To me thats not words of wisdom from a strong male, that's horrible information for anyone who reads this book. I'm a little over half way and this author repeats himself over and over again on the same topic, to what? make the book longer? drill in the concept? I'm sure he could've made his book shorter rather than repeating himself multiple times on the same topics. If you still choose to read this just understand these are personal opinions and not everything in here applies to all men.

Just finished reading the book and it's alright. Be a man, hang out with men, put your needs and self first to be successful. A few of the activities actually worked to remind me about the masculine mindset.

This is a great book for just about any man to read. Most men have personality issues that fit some of the things outlined in this book. While I can not perfectly identify with every illustration in th ebook. It has given me good insite to who I am. It has also helped me identify ways I can be a more fulfilled version of my self.

I recently discovered the issue that i was having with women and myself. I have been in therapy for 2 years and discovered a lot what was already in this book but the book has enlightened me more to my issues. I wish i found this first. i have not completed the book however i felt i needed to write a review because i have connected to so much of what is taught in this book. One of the truisms of this book is since a large majority of men have been raised by women, we have not learned to be men. Women complain a lot of how men act now, the issue is we don't have male figures growing up and we have lost what it is to be a man, we must re train ourselves for the benefit of ourselves and the women around us. We must become the conquerer, the warrior, not the floor mat or the "what every you honey" guy. this is definitely a stepping stone to learning more about this idea.

Whoa this book has been massively expanded my reality regarding some of the subconscious modalities which I've operated from my entire life. As a recovering nice guy I completely needed the smack in the head and found it so amazingly valuable. I am so appreciative of Dr. Robert glover for all of his work and exceptional and search guarding the nice guy syndrome and how to break free from those glass barriers!!

This book explains exactly what's wrong with me complete with exercises to cure my syndrome. Written by a man who has gone through the same thing as what every other people who need to read the book is going through.

This book was so good I unexpectedly ended up reading it in a day. Absolutely life changing, I felt like I was reading a book about myself. All I can say is if you're a nice guy who has any type of relationship issues, you NEED this book!

I was totally blown away by how well this book changed my life. It took me 3 weeks to finish this book, but only took me a week to read, the reason being is I opened the book, read the first chapter, got completely freaked out about how accurate it was, had anxiety about becoming a 'jerk', stashed it away, was afraid to read it again, and then I read some reviews and built up the courage to read it through. One week after reading it and a lot has changed. My love life, my sex life, my work life, and my relationship with my father has changed. Not perfect, but improving.

Before anyone buys this book, realize that Dr. Robert Glover is not teaching you how to be a jerk or an A-hole. He's simply teaching you how to become an integrated male. One who wears the pants in your relationship, and one who is not in the passenger seat, but steering the wheel of your life.. Every man should read this book. Take time to read it and do the activities and it will help you become the man you were born to be. I'm going to be reading this book again.

Thanks, Dr. Robert Glover

Every man should read this book. Well written and touches on the psyche and reasons why current society screws over guys and how women think they actually run the world. Unfortunately they do run the world, but men can take it back.

One of the most life changing books I have read and applied to my life. Though the title expresses at first glance that this a "be mean to get your way" book that is not what this book is about. It is about getting free from the Nice Guy syndrome. Being free to get your own needs met and gaining the strength to bring change to current situations and the strength to walk away from intolerable situations instead of trying a million ways to please others in the hope that they will return the favor.

I think this is one of the most helpful books that I have read this year. If you are constantly losing out, not hitting on girls, etc. This is the book that you want to read. This should be in every nice guys library.

This book is a brilliant manual, especially for young men who are tired of feeling vicitmized in their lives.
A must read if you are partial to pro-active change. You need this book to take the next big step.

I found this book without directly searching for it but its title spoke to me right away, so I ordered it without hesitation. I have just finished it and I am about to read it a second time.

I can hardly express how helpful this book has been. It's very clear, to the point and allows everyone who identifies himself as a nice guy to finally connect the dots, realize there are many similar people out there but most importantly have clear answers and a plan to get better.

The only regret I have is not finding and reading your book earlier, it’s a real life saver.

I bought this book with the thought of it being a "novelty" read...based on the title. Dr. Glover has identified an issue that has invaded the culture of many American males and has turned it on its head! I am intrigued with human behavior and read books about relationships and sociology frequently. In reading this book, I was hoping for a nugget that I could use to help others in my quest to become a relationship coach for men. Instead I found myself marking highlights on nearly every page and the desire to re-read it again and again to completely absorb the ideals contained within. I feel fortunate to have stumbled upon it and I intend to pursue the other offerings that Dr. Glover has available on his website!

This book highlighted many habits and actions I do on a regular basis and never thought much about.... Then it explains where it comes from and the affect it had on me and the people around me... Very helpful!

This book feels like it was written by a college kid as an essay a few nights before the due date. The writing style is very simple and extremely repetitive. A paragraph will contain a thesis, then a short case study always revolving around childhood trauma instead of how to engage with women as the subtitle suggests, then the thesis reworded again for the next few sentences. I bought this book under the impression it was mainly regarding interactions with women and how to hold frame in a social dynamics aspect, but the majority of this book is about how to overcome childhood trauma brought upon by unhealthy relationships with your parents. A lot of what is contained in this book is not meant to address "nice guys" so to speak, but I feel as if it is more targeting towards those with parental issues. When describing his case studies of men who were not happy in their relationships, it lacks enough detail to be relatable for the average joe, and is quick to proceed to "see this is why mice guys....) instead of diving into each example more thoroughly. Not what I was expecting. A short read, but it lacks the significant substance that a book that took 6 years to write (as stated by the author) would entail.

Great book, only regret is not discovering this book sooner. It opens your eyes as a man and makes you realize you can still be a good guy without being too much of a good guy who is constantly taken advantage of without noticing, being a 'yes man', or subconsciously living up to others expectations and not really controlling your own life like you should as an Alpha male.

This was absolutely the book I needed to change my outlook. I know other "nice guys" who used this book before me, and even their tremendous praise of it could not prepare me for just how life changing it was going to be. I've read some very negative reviews about the book and the author. All I can say is that maybe this was not the right book for them, or maybe they misinterpreted the message. I would strongly suggest that if you are here now reading these reviews then you probably NEED THIS BOOK. I am no longer on a fruitless quest for answers. Great for referencing and reviewing even after the first read.

If you are a "Nice guy" who finds that you get walked on all the time, this book may be for you. Reading it opened my eyes to how being a nice guy is often not so nice. It has allowed me to stand up for myself and in doing so, get my voice heard and needs met. Sometimes it is OK to be selfish - and that is something few people are willing to openly admit today.

I don't write reviews much but this book deserves praise. Reading it was as if Mr. Glover knew me personally! I gained so much understanding about why I have lived my life so far in the manner that I do. If you struggle with relationships because of insecurities and/or are stuck in a rut in life due to repeating actions that do not result in the intended outcome, READ THIS BOOK! It will challenge long held perceptions about life, love and happiness if you are a "Nice Guy". If you consciously start applying the insights learned, it will start to change your life!! One of the most important books I've read in all my 42 years.

I am blown away by the simplicity and power of this inspiring book. No More Mr. Nice Guy has helped me to move from pleasing to being of incredible service in my career and life. I'm recommending it to many of my friends and male coaching clients. Dr. Glover has brought forward a captivating text for men on how to unleash their most authentic self. Thank you, Robert!

It really doesn't apply to everyone equally, and not at any time in your life. Like the most powerful books I have read, I knew about it or read it once already but it had no impact at that time. It only makes sense when you are at a point in your life that it resonates with you. And it may not be for everyone.

For me personally I read this book again after many years and this time it is causing big changes in my life. I want to put myself first and meet my own needs. I had no idea what was behind my unhappiness and withdrawal from many parts of living. This book did a great job explaining why my childhood conditioning had created a survival mechanism that ended up controlling my life. But no longer thank goodness.

It teaches you how to be a strong and compassionate man, whom at the same time can stand his own ground and ask for what he wants. Not in a narcissistic bullying way, but in a way that is assertive and gets results.

I can't say enough positive things about this book. It has been a real eye-opening experience to realize all the things that I have been doing in my life that have been holding me back from great things. A huge part of that is that I am too much of a nice guy. his book gets into why men become nice guys and how to change your life so that you don't keep making the same mistakes. One of my biggest problems is getting into relationships with women who are dominating,mean, controlling and flirtatious. I have struggled with this and have always tried to figure out how to best deal with these situations. I have been called crazy by women that I have dated, unreasonable and been blamed for the failure of certain relationships. While all of those things may be true to some extent I have also learned that I am drawn to crazy women who love attention, have low self-esteem and thrive in drama. I have been the victim so many times and have allowed myself to be abused, treated unkindly and have stayed in bad relationships all due to my own lack of confidence and belief that I don't deserve someone great. This book has helped me to see things I never saw before and gives step by step instructions on how to change things so that you have a rewarding life and a partner worthy of sharing it with you.

Another thing that I noticed is that most of my guy friends are also nice guys that have shared the same challenges as me. I have shared my knowledge from this book with them and we are all working together, and helping each other to make a shift. So far things are improving considerably. I am saying NO more and establishing boundaries. I am noticing that people are starting to respect me and it feels really good. Another cool book to check out is 'Think Big and Kick Ass' by Donald Trump,but definitely get No More Mr. Nice Guy first. I am on my 3rd read of it now. Best of luck to you!

Great book, only regret is not discovering this book sooner. It opens your eyes as a man and makes you realize you can still be a good guy without being too much of a good guy who is constantly taken advantage of without noticing, being a 'yes man', or subconsciously living up to others expectations and not really controlling your own life like you should as an Alpha male.

This was absolutely the book I needed to change my outlook. I know other "nice guys" who used this book before me, and even their tremendous praise of it could not prepare me for just how life changing it was going to be. I've read some very negative reviews about the book and the author. All I can say is that maybe this was not the right book for them, or maybe they misinterpreted the message. I would strongly suggest that if you are here now reading these reviews then you probably NEED THIS BOOK. I am no longer on a fruitless quest for answers. Great for referencing and reviewing even after the first read.

If you are a "Nice guy" who finds that you get walked on all the time, this book may be for you. Reading it opened my eyes to how being a nice guy is often not so nice. It has allowed me to stand up for myself and in doing so, get my voice heard and needs met. Sometimes it is OK to be selfish - and that is something few people are willing to openly admit today.

I don't write reviews much but this book deserves praise. Reading it was as if Mr. Glover knew me personally! I gained so much understanding about why I have lived my life so far in the manner that I do. If you struggle with relationships because of insecurities and/or are stuck in a rut in life due to repeating actions that do not result in the intended outcome, READ THIS BOOK! It will challenge long held perceptions about life, love and happiness if you are a "Nice Guy". If you consciously start applying the insights learned, it will start to change your life!! One of the most important books I've read in all my 42 years.

I am blown away by the simplicity and power of this inspiring book. No More Mr. Nice Guy has helped me to move from pleasing to being of incredible service in my career and life. I'm recommending it to many of my friends and male coaching clients. Dr. Glover has brought forward a captivating text for men on how to unleash their most authentic self. Thank you, Robert!

It really doesn't apply to everyone equally, and not at any time in your life. Like the most powerful books I have read, I knew about it or read it once already but it had no impact at that time. It only makes sense when you are at a point in your life that it resonates with you. And it may not be for everyone.

For me personally I read this book again after many years and this time it is causing big changes in my life. I want to put myself first and meet my own needs. I had no idea what was behind my unhappiness and withdrawal from many parts of living. This book did a great job explaining why my childhood conditioning had created a survival mechanism that ended up controlling my life. But no longer thank goodness.

It teaches you how to be a strong and compassionate man, whom at the same time can stand his own ground and ask for what he wants. Not in a narcissistic bullying way, but in a way that is assertive and gets results.

I can't say enough positive things about this book. It has been a real eye-opening experience to realize all the things that I have been doing in my life that have been holding me back from great things. A huge part of that is that I am too much of a nice guy. his book gets into why men become nice guys and how to change your life so that you don't keep making the same mistakes. One of my biggest problems is getting into relationships with women who are dominating,mean, controlling and flirtatious. I have struggled with this and have always tried to figure out how to best deal with these situations. I have been called crazy by women that I have dated, unreasonable and been blamed for the failure of certain relationships. While all of those things may be true to some extent I have also learned that I am drawn to crazy women who love attention, have low self-esteem and thrive in drama. I have been the victim so many times and have allowed myself to be abused, treated unkindly and have stayed in bad relationships all due to my own lack of confidence and belief that I don't deserve someone great. This book has helped me to see things I never saw before and gives step by step instructions on how to change things so that you have a rewarding life and a partner worthy of sharing it with you.

Another thing that I noticed is that most of my guy friends are also nice guys that have shared the same challenges as me. I have shared my knowledge from this book with them and we are all working together, and helping each other to make a shift. So far things are improving considerably. I am saying NO more and establishing boundaries. I am noticing that people are starting to respect me and it feels really good. Another cool book to check out is 'Think Big and Kick Ass' by Donald Trump,but definitely get No More Mr. Nice Guy first. I am on my 3rd read of it now. Best of luck to you!

A lot of points hit really close to home and I was actually able to improve myself based on a lot of tasks the author suggests you to do. Possibly one of The most eye-opening books I've ever read in my journey for self-improvement and I have got my fair share of reading in. In many ways this book acts as a therapist on paper,however, for a chronic self-indulgent person such as myself that likes to fix his own problems, this book was definitely a catalyst in getting the ball rolling toward a brighter, beautiful future!

Would definitely recommend to anyone who's unclear as to the reason why they're lacking focus in certain aspects of life (namely: people, relationships, motivation, and intimacy.)

Reading this book has opened my eyes. I used to think i was a really nice guy and was not selfish or anything, but I've discovered a lot of things I've been doing incorrectly, lying to people to make them feel good, lying in relationships by not really expressing what I feel and just holding it up and pretending not to be upset about stuff that really matters. this book is really worth reading.

This book has changed my life. I couldn't believe how much it spoke to me, it was like Dr. Glover had opened up my mind and put my brain on paper. I was doing things and not even knowing why. I was doing so much wrong even though I THOUGHT it was right. I still finding my self falling into my own ways. I have read this book three times and always keep it close to look back on if I fall into my old ways..

....to Dr. Glover. He has hit the nail on the head, and it was buried in a stack of hay. The book is short, concise and an easy read. Fortunately I was lead to a support group for "nice guys" by a friend before I read the book. He speaks the truth and I really needed to hear it. I look forward to a second read and doing the suggested exercises. I'm considering suggesting it to my 24 year old son and believe every man will identify with Dr. Glover's insight.

Touched on some good, valid points I felt. Some of which had never crossed my mind, like female heads of households and female dominated public schools teaching boys how to be men from
a female perspective. While someone has to do it, the result is a bunch of men who are radically diyfrom their great

When my initial denial was replaced with an audible, "... God, that's me!"
This book is a welcome, albeit uncomfortable, guide to self actualization as a "Nice Guy."
The strategies offered are not even counterintuitive, they're simply frightening. But as Dr. Glover wrote, facing our fears is part of the male experience. This is now one of my top 3 "How to Be a Man" books.

The book was epic! I am glad to say with repetition and hard work i am no longer the victim nice guy! Nice guys are horrendously bad and I recommend this book to everybody even girls because so they can understand what type of nice guy they are attracted or even married to! The book has elicited the inner alpha in me!

It repeats the same psychology in different words. The Nice Guy term is used too many times and gets a bit rhetorical. The example characters stories are webbed out and forgotten like a movie with 14 main characters that need the same solution for a different story. Not much of an awakening but still worth the reminder.

I didn't know what to think when a friend of mine bought me this book. Initially, I was confused. I didn't think there was anything wrong with being a "nice guy". Until I read Dr. Glover's description of what a nice guy is and how many of those characteristics apply to me. I couldn't put the book down after reading the first chapter. It scared me that someone who didn't know could describe my behavior so accurately. And it also motivated me to work on my counterproductive behavior. I've read the book twice and I'm currently working through the "breaking free" activities recommended in the book. Glad to say I'm a recovering nice guy now. It's not easy, but well worth it. Thanks Dr. Glover!

The author is a psychologist, and gives lots of examples from people that he's worked with. He describes the underlying psychology, and then gives steps you can use to change your thinking and actions.

I ordered this for a guy friend who is a truly nice guy. He told me it has some good parts for him. I think it is probably one of those books in which you need to see what fits and you feel comfortable with.

Finally, a book for men that unapologetically explains how to act like a man, and stop being a push over "whatever you say, dear." White knight. Men have a been told that they are the cause of all the worlds problems for so long that they have given up being who they are. They have given up their innate freedom. This book at its core shows men how to become free.

I am a recovering nicely guy. Before this book was suggested by a friend, I had started putting some of it into practice and it was working. Now, I have the entire toolset and my life is getting even better.

This book is a must read for both men and women. I have learned so much about myself (even though I am a woman) and about the men in my life. I want to give this to so many people. One of the most clear, succinct, practical books I have read.

If there was one book that I'd give to my friends, it's definitely this one. The advice, principals, suggestions etc. will have a positive affect on every area of your life, if you're open to it. I think that women can also probably get a lot out of it too. It's also for men/women that are in successful relationships, anyone can find value in this book.

Practical tips. Dives deep into your psyche. No macho BS. Doesn't expect men to be jerks, and doesn't allow them to be doormats. I've sifted through a few other books for men on the topic of standing up for yourself and this is the best one.

I cannot recommend this book enough!
Ive stopped putting blame on my SO for everything that is wrong with our relationship and taken a few things on board as my own issues.
If you want to reclaim the masculinity that 3rd wave feminism is beating out of our generation of men, without resorting to becoming an alpha jerk, this is the book for you.

Very helpful book. It isn't so much on how to get love, sex, and the most out of life, as it is a way to make yourself the man you want to be. The rest sort of follows by nature. Really, a lot of interesting ideas, great ways to help you move past your nice-guy status, and I really enjoy how he refers to actual psychology rather than just personal experience(though there is that, too.) Probably one of the best books I've read on the subject.

This is an excellent book that is very readable and eye opening. Helping men become their authentic self without apology is something far too many men are able to do. It's not about fostering cruelty or anything like that, but it is about being a mature empowered man which requires self reflection.

Never have I read a book which "understood" my underlying insecurities so well. After years of personal development, I thought I had all the answers. But after a very hard breakup, I was left confused. I didn't understand how I could have screwed up so badly. I learned exactly how deeply my need for approval goes. I now see that approval seeking can LITERALLY be lethal. I now refuse to put myself second. Err... Well, I'm still working on that, but I've massive strides already. Every living male needs to read this book sooner or later.

I was just reading the first 2 chapters and i felt like this guy has been describing my WHOLE LIFE! I had no idea that other guys were this way too. I felt Exposed and Affirmed at the same time! This book is unbelievable. I'm so glad i found it! I dont know what to do!!!

Starts out well, but degenerates into a bunch of 21st Century lingo about alpha's, betas, and pop psychology. Appeals to those that wish to be led, or already have low self esteem. Designed to convince 90% of the population that they are so called "nice guys" that need to be reformed. This is like a sales/marketing campaign straight down the line.

AweSome book - has helped articulate and identify self-defeating patterns I have wrestled with most of my adult life. Great to hear how more frequent hanging out with my mates, having a few beers and watching rugby etc is good for my marriage ;) Great practical tips/steps and also great real life examples. Im really glad I happened to stumble upon this book, and seems very complementary to and in alignment with other "manhood" books such as Iron John by Robert Bly.

This ceases great reference book to refurbish myself and males in my circle. The rating levels is too low to understand what this book means to us, as a man.

Have been reading and applying tenets as I went along. This is now my male reference manual! No More Mr. Nice Guy? and the Bible; MO MORE LIMITS!

Thank you so much for sharing!

NMMNG should be a staple in ever man's life. I have read it 4 times~ i will refer back to it every few months when i feel like i'm slipping back to my old ways. Gives me a great tune up and puts me back on track. I am planning on getting my son a copy of it when he comes of age. Things i wish i knew 20 yrs ago. Might have spared me a lot of unhappiness.

Excellent,well, written and so on point. I saw so many correlations to myself and many of the predicaments that I keep encountering throughout my 48 years. This book is exactly what I needed to move forward. With over twenty years of therapy and counseling Mr. Glover has condensed most of what I have been struggling with into a single work. As a 48 yr. old black male growing up with a controlling, angry and unavailable mother and grandmother this book hits the nail on the head. With plenty of clinical and psychological precedence Mr. Glover succinctly dissects the core of our dysfunction and gives solid recourse to move into a healthy, abundant relationship with self, other men and ultimately women. The work is approached from a psychological as well as common sense approach. Its well written, easy to read and offers solid solutions with exercises. Many thanks to Robert Glover for this work, it is a life saving gift to those of us who were conditioned to feel inadequate, and burdened with the task of making everything OK for those in our lives that we care about. Much success to those seeking the way to a happy, abundant life. God's blessing to us all.

I had initially bought this book to help me in my dating life, thinking "This book will teach me to be a stand up guy and attract women"! After just reading a few chapters, I knew this book was written specifically for me (and men that have the same curse of being "the nice guy") This gives me the insight of my failed marriage, failed relationships, and why I "thought" I was just unattractive as to the reason for failure. I certainly intend to read this book many times, as Dr Glover wrote this book as if he knew my entire history!

I've read this book cover to cover, three times now and found different things to work on. There's nothing wrong with being a nice guy who treats women with courtesy and respect. But as the author points out, having a hidden agenda and thinking that you will get what you want JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE NICE, is a setup for failure. I have adopted some of his suggestions and still have farther to go. But if you are feeling like you are perpetually being let down because you are a "nice guy" then you need to read this book. It helped me face some cold, hard facts that I didn't want to admit and made it okay to want to help myself first and go after what I want. This book was recommended to me by a therapist with whom I spoke regarding my second divorce. I was, and may still be, madly in love with M. But after reading this book, I realized that I was not always doing the best things in and for the relationship. It's abrupt end made me face the truth that I have things to work on... and that it's okay.

I am very surprised at all the glowing reviews; perhaps we read different books?
Although, if you've never come across material like this before, I can understand how priceless it is.

Here's the break down: there is a fair amount of good stuff..
However: This book needs editing, badly. Really really badly. It could have been 10 pages easily.
The whole formatting seems designed to add the appearance of length to the book.

Examples (slight over exaggeration, but not by much) and other negatives:
-Large font.
-Every other sentence contains the phrase 'Nice Guys' at least once.
-Every other page contains a long winded story about some guy.
-Every other other page contains a 'breaking out' exercise - which may or may not be beneficial, but ultimately redundant.
-Every other other other page he coins a new phrase.
-The repeating. So much filler. The author breaks it all down in the beginning and then spends the rest of the book endlessly repeating the same couple of arguments (with minor alterations) for the rest of the book. I'm not talking about adding depth to his previous statements; he essentially copy and pastes previous material.

Don't get me wrong: there are nuggets in there, and I'll keep the book because of them. That being said, the entire book needs to be rewritten.

There are probably better books out there to cover this topic. If you get this one, I recommend skimming it.

Good Stuff: 4/5
Bad stuff: 2/5
Reasoning for final rating: The book became painful to read and the formatting detracted from the message to such a degree that it became overwhelming.

P.S. His suggested reading list is pretty good.

being called a nice guy is about the worst insult you could receive these days. Worse than any other expletive...literally. Read this book, don't be a nice guy. Be a man with value, honor, and, of course, masculinity!!!

This books is really challenges you to look at yourself differently. I'm doing all the challenges and I am seeing things that I have not been aware of. Glover helps give specific examples of different scenarios who share a common theme and it's easy to relate to. I've only started reading, but I am excited to see what Glover has in store. Great buy.

A decent book with lots of insight. Some I could relate to but most of the book felt like common sense. If you wanna really make this book fun take a shot of you're preferred alcoholic beverage every time you read "No More Mr. Nice Guy! group" you will get hammered. Fast.

Really opened my mind up to the reason why I have done the things I have done. Now I know what not to do, so that I will not continue the same old behavior. Great book for those struggling with bad relationships.

This book will come to you when you're ready to face the one person that matters most - your true Self. Glover brings to mind that you only enhance other's lives as you do your own - no more, no less! Thank you Dr. Glover :-)

One of the most thought-provoking books I’ve read in a while. It’s absolutely great for anyone (not just for people who consider themselves Nice Guys) who would like to learn more about themselves and their masculinity.

Have not completed the book yet, which would likely place it around 4 to 4.5. The book is good but how does one completely implement the suggestions without having a group? And of course it is likely a group would cost more money...not likely from my standpoint.

This book is about passive agressive men and how they create failure in their life by not being assertive. The book like so many other self help books is filled with stories about the author's patients and how they overcame or failed to overcome their passiveness. It was a slow read and past chapter 3 you will have to force yourself to read the book. I was expecting a book about assertiveness and how to deal with passive aggressive people, but this book did not fit the bill. If you have a crippling personality and are passive aggressive or codependent, then you might find this book interesting, otherwise you would be better served with a book on organizational management or character development.

I felt identified in many parts of the book except the fundamental part of its theory, to be a nice guy is not a direct consequence of a bad or loveless childhood. Quite the contrary, in my case and I think it would be the same for others being good and caring for others it's a choice made because of the nice referent you have at home, for example with modeling parents that have been happily together since their teenage years. It's also a naif try to be different from bad guys in high school who apart from having more success with girls at that time also came from much harder atmospheres. It's wonderful being respectful, empathic and sensible but we should hardly never help others if we haven't helped ourselves first and showed self respect with a happy and genuine life with our own boundaries :)

My name is Brett and I'm a nice guy......this is a disease and I'm a victim. This book confirmed my suspicions that I've been too nice. It does not promote "jerk" behavior, but honest behavior. I've been working on this for a couple of years, without the book, so I was familiar with many of the concepts, but it was very helpful.

As a Recovering Nice Guy this book has helped me diagnose my issues that I've been dealing with in relationships and life. After reading this book, I now have a clear vision of the person that I want to be. I have been able to receive information as to why my relationship failed from this book with accounts from guys just like me. This book has helped me move on in life. Thank you Dr. Glover for what you've written.

I finished this book about 5 weeks ago. It's helped me at home, socially and at work. I would have given it five stars except there is one subject matter on the book that is totally against my spiritual beliefs as a christian. I do believe the author falls short in one aspect. Now armed with the knowledge this book presents I know this. Any woman that likes the total man this book represents as a partner deserves what she gets. Be careful you don't become an IF (Inconsiderate F***). I'm in my late fifties and in a solid relationship, I've found women my age are sick of partners built as the desirable partner Dr. Glover depicts in this book. I live in a condo community, club house, golf, indoor and outdoor pool etc. Long story short Dr. Glover! It's guy's like you aspire people to be that make me look so good. My Partner was married to a guy like this. The operative word here is "Was". So whether your a man or woman reading this book, it's powerful information, but like a double edge sward, it cuts both ways. Stand up for yourself. Grow a pair, but be careful you don't become a prick.

A good book. It enlightens men about the frustration that has plagued them since they were boys. Why do women always fall in love with the total douches? Buy the book. (here's a hint. You're not really as nice a guy as you think you are)

As a Nice Guy myself, I highly recommend this book. I have re-read this book several times. It's an on-going process as a recovering Nice Guy, but you will be happier and more confident with yourself. Make your needs a priority. Awesome book. If you think you may be a Nice Guy, chances are you are one. Bet on improving yourself and you won't regret it.

This is a great and very helpful book. It was like the author was describing me, or should I say who I use to be. I'd recommend this book for any man who considers himself a nice guy and is tired of finishing last.

I have not enough words to describe the feeling I have after I finished the book, I just want to thank you so much for first let me know who I am, and then guide me to break free... It's a life changing book, which in my belief every man needs it, even if they think they are having a perfect life, it's a men Bible!!. thank you so much from my heart!

Excellent, although not the answer for all "Nice Guys." I think the author is well versed he in his knowledge of the theme, but I can also see many points not actually correcting a man's life, but steering him into the identity of a man as described by the author. I believe this will work for many men, and I have also benefitted from the engaging read. Will recommend if you are working on accepting yourself as a man, and if you are intending on developing directness.

I've only read the first two chapters so far and I'm going over the third one now. But his explanations of why nice guys are nice, why they are treated the way they are, and what this causes in them has been pretty accurate so far. I can't wait to finish reading the book.

I can't say enough! This Nice Guy revelation hit me hard. Several times, I had tears of joy reading this. This book is 98% me. Thank you Dr. Glover! I am not alone. I am going to read it again and again.

I could very much relate to this book and it really made me sit back and evaluate a lot of things. I certainly recommend it to anyone who is sick of wondering why nice guys finish last, and all women seem to want men who treat them poorly.

I am happy to have read this book, very much worth the time and money. A lot of the books chapters are really good and I can agree with the opinions stated therein, Also many other interesting perspectives I hadn't seen myself before... eye opening, I'd buy & read it again.

I did not find it as substantive as I was hoping for. Seemed like the author was whining and looking for excuses instead of getting down to what really needs to be done. I did not get the feeling that he was encouraging an effort to take responsibility for our own actions. However, one or two good points were made.

Excellent, although not the answer for all "Nice Guys." I think the author is well versed he in his knowledge of the theme, but I can also see many points not actually correcting a man's life, but steering him into the identity of a man as described by the author. I believe this will work for many men, and I have also benefitted from the engaging read. Will recommend if you are working on accepting yourself as a man, and if you are intending on developing directness.

I've only read the first two chapters so far and I'm going over the third one now. But his explanations of why nice guys are nice, why they are treated the way they are, and what this causes in them has been pretty accurate so far. I can't wait to finish reading the book.

I can't say enough! This Nice Guy revelation hit me hard. Several times, I had tears of joy reading this. This book is 98% me. Thank you Dr. Glover! I am not alone. I am going to read it again and again.

I could very much relate to this book and it really made me sit back and evaluate a lot of things. I certainly recommend it to anyone who is sick of wondering why nice guys finish last, and all women seem to want men who treat them poorly.

I am happy to have read this book, very much worth the time and money. A lot of the books chapters are really good and I can agree with the opinions stated therein, Also many other interesting perspectives I hadn't seen myself before... eye opening, I'd buy & read it again.

I did not find it as substantive as I was hoping for. Seemed like the author was whining and looking for excuses instead of getting down to what really needs to be done. I did not get the feeling that he was encouraging an effort to take responsibility for our own actions. However, one or two good points were made.

This is a good book and a good start. When it was first published it was ahead of its time. However, now books, like Jack Donovan's the Way of Men is a much better at proscribing what men need to do to become men, and not nice guys, or any kind of "guys".

No More Mr. Nice Guy was the perfect book for me. As a former Nice Guy who was depressed and suicidal for many years, this book changed (and possibly saved) my life.
A lot of it is not for everyone. The book very specifically it targets males who seek approval from others (mostly women) for all the wrong reasons, and seeks to help them overcome this unhealthy behavior. Part of the book describes common approval-seeking behaviors, part of it goes into the (mostly Freudian) psychology behind why the author thinks that some men behave this way, and part of the book gives exercises with which to help Nice Guys get over their problem and get what they want from life. There are plenty of real-men examples, too, to compare yourself against.
One of the fundamental premises behind being a Nice Guy is that you feel that something is inherently wrong with you and your life and there is something that you must do or find or something out there that will make your life work somehow. If that describes the way you think, by all means buy this book. If not, you can still get some good use out of the common approval-seeking behaviors and psychology stuff. It's interesting to see how many people out there really do things for approval.
The method to get over it works, if you can make yourself do it. It's not an easy thing to deal with. I know.

I can sum up the entire book for you in a couple sentences. "Don't be manipulative - just ask for your needs to be met. This will bring more fulfillent to you in life, love, and work." The issue is, this statement can't be made into a book - or at least it shouldn't have been. The writing is extremely repetitious and non-substantive. There is another big question as well. I'm not so sure this is an issue in broader society. Sure, some guys may be too nice for their own good, but there are many, many more people (both men and women) that are self-seeking to the detriment of all society.

For all the TV couch warriors and brow-beaten husbands...this gets you back to center.
No, you're not crazy, pal. Women's Rights has you doing the laundry, carrying the baby in a sling baby sack, and pleading for sex.
Nothing against women per se, but get your manhood back
You are being victimized thus, you may be angry and resentful. Maybe....IDK. lol.

This book helps in the ways advertised as long as the reader takes it to heart and follows the plan at least somewhat. It reads like a psychologist wrote it (one did) so it can be a bit repetitive and long winded (like this review) but it doesn't make you feel like you are sitting in a shrink's office.

I read this book with a friend. We read many similar books on various topics, we enjoy a variety of self help books.

One thing I have learned about reading self-help books is that you won't benefit from every topic the book presents, you pick and choose the topics that can help you lost, and let the others go.

The topics I found helpful in this book were somewhat eye-opening and significant. I can see myself benefitting from their disciplines in the long term.

The topics which I let go in this book, came in the form of big ugly turds that I had to sift out of the book and were so unsightly, I almost put the book down for good several times. My friend stopped reading it altogether due to these big turnoffs in the book.

I am glad I finished the book, the good parts were good. The bad parts, were truly bad. I would tell anyone considering buying and reading this book to read with a grain of salt, and persevere until the end so you can decide what you wish to keep and discard from it.

This book was okay. I didn't really find it super enjoyable or super insightful. Points of it made me a little mad because I think it is too surface touching. Many of the traits covered are not really a problem for a person if in moderation and controlled. Perhaps I didn't grasp the book enough but it made me think that displaying some of the traits on occasion automatically classifies you as a nice guy.... I think when you are doing these things over time and across situations and it becomes very embedded in a person that it is true, but nothing wrong or abnormal about some of these traits if in control of yourself and it isn't a constant. Just my two cents. This book is very popular and I may get the Kindle version to re-read and see if I still feel the same.

Focuses on happiness as the primary goal of existence, which is a terrible way to live, IMHO.

I like some of the basic premises: Take care of yourself, make sure you're not being nice to manipulate others, do things you enjoy. All good things! But often Mr. Glover prescribes happiness as the end all and be-all. Not what I want to teach myself or my sons.

A patient of mine found this book and raved about it, so I bought it for myself. The author has found and described a very common pattern of 21st century male behavior: the man who thinks that to reveal his own needs will drive others away. Glover minces no words in pointing out that this pattern makes you dishonest and manipulative (only telling others what they want to hear) and leaves you ultimately full of repressed rage. His advice about what to do is very straightforward, and the book well written. I'm recommending it to many of my depressed male patients.

I have had a respect-even reverence-for books for as long as I can remember. I treat them with care, and when I am done I either store them carefully in my bookcase or, if I don’t think I will read them again, donate them or give them away. The thought of throwing a book away seemed almost sacrilegious.

I made an exception for this book. But to be fair, the trash is where garbage goes, and that’s what this book is.

(Seriously, I threw the book away as soon as I finished it. I mention this to confirm that I actually did read the whole thing.)

I won’t go chapter by chapter or point by point. I’ll just sum up my impressions, what I took away from it:

-If other people mistreat, disrespect, use, or abuse you, it is your fault, not theirs; they are blameless
-You are a fool if you expect other people to be nice to you and treat you decently because you do the same for them
-Only by becoming a selfish jerk will you ever be liked and respected.

(Oh, by the way, if you have any of the problems mentioned in the book it’s because of childhood abandonment issues. If you don’t agree with that, it’s because your view of the past is distorted.)

What he says over and over, that the reason people mistreat you and walk over you is because you are too nice and accommodating, and the assertion that if this is the case you are the one who is flawed and needs to change, not the person mistreating you, is an ugly, disgusting point of view, akin to telling an abused woman she shouldn’t have made her husband angry.

I suspect that some of the author’s observations may be true, but not for the reason he thinks. When someone is a selfish, pushy, jerk, people may be more accommodating to them, but it is not because they respect them for being true to themselves and sticking up for themselves. It’s because the jerk is seen as confrontational that people tread lightly around them, to avoid making them mad and getting into a conflict. It is not respect, it is fear that gets these Un-Nice Guys what they want.

I see this book recommended all the time, and I just don’t get it.

And on a practical level, even if you buy into this nonsense, there is no practical advise for how to become this bastion of manliness you are supposed to be. Just the assertion over and over that something is wrong with you and you need to completely transform yourself.

I was curious about this book for sometime, but most places are a little pricey for one copy. the store provided it, in hard copy, for a reasonable price & excellent shipping service. Another great purchase.

Basic pop psychology that wasn't impressive. I did like his emphasis on being honest and accepting yourself but in the wrong hands this book would validate all the excuses men who are physicall abusive use for being psychologically abusive.

I bought this book in hopes that it could offer help to my son who is too nice of a guy where women are concerned - He's way too passive and the women he picks seem to run right over him. Have no idea if its contents will be of help to him.

Good book and I will be there at the same time I don't have a car so I can get a ride to the airport on Friday and I will be there at the same time I don't have a car so I can get a ride to the airport on Sunday and I

Do your own therapy kind of book. It tries to give many examples in hope to find one you identify with. Not much help at the end, but then again, maybe I had different problems. Or I already solved these a long time ago.

We all have problems in our relationships and this book was recommended to me because I am seen by virtually everybody as a "nice guy." I have to say, WOW, this turned out to be perhaps the worst "self help" type book I've ever read. As some others have stated, this could easily have been a 25 page book, because the author makes his case in the first ten pages, then restates that case, over, and over, and over, and over, again throughout the entire book - endlessly and mercilessly until you're almost ready to beg him to stop using the same phrases repeatedly. The words "Nice Guy" appear (no joke) anywhere from four to eight times on virtually EVERY page of this book - and bear in mind, it's large print, double spaced, with a lot of odd formatting to stretch it out.

The book is basically designed to empower men who have been brow-beaten as children, raised by their mothers to be servants and slaves to women, and honestly, if you don't fit into that demographic right off-the-bat, this book probably will not help you. The author's premise paints with a VERY broad brush that all guys being nice are desperately seeking the approval of women, they live with "toxic shame", have loads of hidden shame and attributes, and they're so petrified by rejection that they'll do anything to be accepted by anybody. Yes, I would say there are some guys out there who do fit that description, but the author imprints this theory onto every man out there who's simply being nice just because he happened to be raised right. I don't hold a door open for a lady because I'm desperately seeking her approval, that's just good manners. I'm not hyperventilating with fear because I have many more friends who are girls than I do friends that are guys - sorry, that's just the way I'm wired up.

The author's whole premise is that the current generation of guys wasn't raised right and never bonded with their fathers, and thus, never got a proper male influence in their lives, and that's the root of why they can't find happiness or companionship. Frankly, I tend to think that's just pop-psychology and it's not rational or reasonable to make such a huge and (in his mind) universally true statement. I got along great with my dad, we hunted, fished, played cards, worked on cars, you name it - and somehow, I've still fallen into a relationship where I'm being taken for granted. In this book, if you don't go hang out with the guys, enjoy running around with a bunch of guy friends, and have a good old time yucking it up with the fellas, then there's something wrong with you. Personally, I don't care for that lifestyle and never did. I'm a quiet kinda' guy, I enjoy my hobbies, I enjoy quiet time reading books in a big wing back chair while sipping wine and listening to classical music - instead, for the betterment of my mental and physical stability (not to mention helping my relationship), I should be out partying it up with the guys. And he states this relentlessly, over, and over, and over, using his catch phrases of "recovering Nice Guys" and "toxic shame" hundreds of times within the context of this relatively small book.

As others have said, there are a few good bits of information here - principally, no one is ultimately responsible for your own happiness and satisfaction with your life but yourself - you have to realize that. Nobody owes you anything, and if you're not happy about your life, take whatever you're not happy about and change it - don't wait or expect for someone else to do that for you - THERE - I've just told you the whole plot of the book. What is painfully simple to summarize in one paragraph, the author labors over time and time again, stretching it endlessly until I was so frustrated with the book I was skipping pages because I was absolutely sick of reading the same thing over and over again.

CANNOT recommend this one. If you're a guy and you're having relationship trouble, this is a VERY shallow book and it is so mind-numbingly repetitive I absolutely couldn't stand it.

Not sure what I am even reading. I thought this would be a good book for me to read as I am your typical "Nice Guy" and always finishing last in life, but honestly, I can not relate at all to Glover's "nice guys" he describes. They seem less like nice guys and more like conflicted boy-men with emotional issues. I do not recommend.... just a very strange book.

I agree, you need to stick up for yourself. But following Glover's advice will pretty much guarantee you'll be getting a divorce. You'd seriously have to be married to a dimwit for this advice to work.

I can't really stand the way female writers treat men. Wait, was the author male?! I wouldn't really believe that, or at least an editor heavily influenced an almost condescending style of "motivational exercises" ... yuck. No thanks.

You'd think the book would be more about methods to overcome certain aspects of your life. But it's not. It's basically stories about how guys also have feelings too and they should speak their mind.
The whole book can be pretty much summarized in "Don't take crap from people but don't be an a$$hole either."

"No More Mr. Nice Guy!" is a masturbatory psych 101 essay in which the author attempts to reframe existing psychology theories as "Nice Guy Syndrome." He's also the leading expert! If you've taken a Psych 101 (or watched more than a season of most psych thrillers) you can probably already guess what he's going to say.
Also, the author should fire his editor, there were several mistakes and poor editorial decisions that wouldn't have flown in a 10th grade English paper, much less a published book.

Son of a preacher man, Glover describes the wallflower masculinity that pervades our day to day lives and its dreary outcomes. Certainly the pathological shame, and the essentially passive-aggressive, "not nice" nature of the self declared "Nice Guy" are spot on and worth reading.

However 2/3 of the way through he reverts to a sort of staid Dr. Kellogg style puritanism, with quasi religious overtones, with clean living, pulling yourself up by your bootstraps self-help bromides and a life free of fantasy, indulgence or whatever mode of sexuality or thinking he deems inappropriate.

Recovering nice guys who follow his program, such as it is, will find themselves out of self effacing, avoidant shame of being a Nice Guy and into a sort of "Promise Keepers" style cult, where any reflection of their individuality and masculity is the subject of it's own "Shame".; in a sort of a self help cycle of enthusiasm and disappointment.

Almost comically shallow in substance and perspective, the "help" section of the book is nonetheless is treated as gospel by a small group of believers who congregate on the sponsored message board. As mentioned in other reviews, there you can witness them spend years struggling to become better "integrated men", while they try ever harder to apply what isn't working, and dismiss proven resources and approaches such as CBT and other resources in the Mens' Movement.

I gave this as a gift to a family member that was having social problems. He must have absorbed the material through osmosis because after only holding it long enough to read the title he promptly threw the book at my head . . . it left a mark.

Update: 3.29.2017 - meeting even more Mr. Nice Guys in the singles groups I do things with - I recommend they get and read this book, and often. Some don't like me because of it! Oh well!
Thank you! I'm a woman who is now twice divorced, and had two very different men as husbands. But both men resorted to lying (to me and about me), were very disloyal by making my faults mountains of insult to them, blaming me for everything they did wrong, publicly and privately accusing me of why they did what they did wrong because I was a "bad tempered raging" woman, when actually I fall in the average category when it comes to my emotions. This book told me why they behaved anything but nice, and were actually quite punitive, almost straight down the line. My second ex-husband is actually reading it with me, after I purchased him a hard copy of the book. He assaulted me in October, 2014, and then after admitting it to the police, within 3 weeks he came up with a completely different version of the assault, making me an unreasonable increasingly greater raging person. His version changed about 3 times and it was fabricated. He tells me he has wanted to forget it, so when he has to relate the assault, he has to think really hard. I personally have the video in my head of the assault, and the events leading up to it. My 2nd ex hedges on going to the No More Mr. Nice Guys Support Group in our area - ya, the whole thing about being with men he doesn't know, if it is a front for gay behavior, etc. I know he needs to go and be with men to heal from the syndrome, but he isn't there yet. I now know that the biggest covert contract between each man and myself was "you can't bring up your feelings, because I don't bring up my feelings". There was no conflict resolution with either of them because they weren't going to address my concerns about our relationship. About a month after the assault, my 2nd ex-husband has been begging to stay with me, all the while still relating this defaming account about me regarding not just the assault, but also the past 4 years (we were married 12 years). But I now know why. We are divorced because he filed for divorce a few weeks after the assault ("I had no choice - my lawyer said I had to"). I could write a book about what I've been through with both men. Again, thank you. For myself, the best books I've read to help me with my problems that have co-existed with both men is Attached, The Nice Girl Syndrome, and Anger and the Dance of Women.

This book was definitely written by someone that would be featured on Fox News and Limbaugh's show. Every few pages there's a anti-female or gay reference. If you can get around that and just read it for the psychology its a great book.

Only 3 stars because... come on. I may be a nice guy, but 'respecting women' doesn't belong in a bulleted list of how a guy seeks approval (every time you respect a woman you're seeking approval? but not when you respect a man?). Another strange one is how he thinks gay men are convincing themselves that they're not attracted to women.

Again, great psychological content, laced with chauvinistic presentation.

Although this book is well written and seems to have helped many based on the reviews... be aware the books suggestions rely on the same stuff that I think tends to make "nice guys"... Finding sponsors, staying "safe", relying more on others etc.

This is not a book on being more masculine nor does it cover what makes a male a real man.

I'm not a complete Nice Guy, but I have few Nice Guy tendencies, so I thought I'd give this book a try. I only made it 48 pages. In the new preface, the author summarizes how his life has gone so far, and it's absolutely not the kind of life I would want to lead, so I'm skeptical about his "proven plan" for life. During the first 48 pages I've also gotten a pretty strong anti-Christian vibe. If you look at his picture on the back flap... he looks deranged. The cover, featuring an incongruous well-dressed but aggressive guy with a punk haircut, should have been telling before I even purchased the book; I'm not sure if that's supposed to represent a Nice Guy before transforming, or the end product of the transformation.

Sorry but this book is kind of a turd. Mostly surface level stuff. If you're a nice guy, don't change your ways, just be real with yourself. Being real with yourself develops confidence, and as you all know, confidence is the most attractive quality a man can have. You'll come to find what you need to if you just stay mindful.

No More Mr. Nice Guy is a GREAT book However, the title is misleading, the purpose of the book is to boost confidence and help men reclaim power in their lives, it does not make men jerks. The author points out that you are the only person on this planet responsible for your needs, wants, and happiness. By boosting a man's confidence and ensuring the man's needs are met, women are naturally more attractive to these men. The greatest aphrodisiac is self-confidence.

The characteristics of "Nice Guys" are men who have difficulty setting boundaries in relationships with women and become doormats. The men often feel as helpless victims and seeing another person as the cause of problems. Many nice guys live life trying to gain approval for others.

Many nice guys did not have their needs met as boys. As a coping mechanism to try to get their needs met, they try to be nice. Later in life, Nice Guys apply the skills learned as a boy in dealing with women - by being nice - it does not work. When being nice does not work, the Nice Guys try to be even nicer.

Men need to set healthy boundaries in relationships with women. Avoiding conflicts in relationships is problematic - Women do not feel safe with a man they know they can push around. A woman wants to know you will stand up to her. That is how she will feel secure in the relationship. There is a catch - she has to test to see if she can trust you. When you set a boundary, she may strongly test and push against the boundary. She will tell you that you are wrong for having the boundary and do her best to find out if the boundary is for real. Generally, when women feel secure, they feel loved. When a man stands up to a woman, she believes he will likely stand up for her. Setting boundaries creates respect and makes women feel secure and feel loved.

Around 50%+ of marriages end in divorce and usually the mother has primary custody. This places the boy in a subservient position to women and minimizes the father's influence. The mother has a profound influence in upbringing of the boy. Mothers teach their daughters to be more independent and teach their sons to be "nice boys" - dependent on women's approval. During the formative years (0-5 years), most of the boy's school teachers are women, so they learn to be subservient to women. The boy must be nice to gain the teacher's approval and earn good grades. In essence, most of the boy's power figures are women and he must be nice to win their approval. Nice guys learn that their needs are not important or having needs contrary to the women's needs is bad, so they try to please others and become miserable in the process. They become wimps, doormats, nice guys - whatever to avoid conflict in relationships and try to make their women happy.

During the formative years, when a boy set boundaries with either his mother or female teachers - he was taught that it was alright to have those boundaries violated. Later in life these boys grow to become men, but use the outdated strategy developed in childhood to deal with women - by being nice and trying to make women happy at any cost. Since Nice Guys learned to sacrifice themselves in order to survive, recovery must center on learning to put themselves first and making their needs a priority. That's what this book is about.

There were 27 reviews on the book; I read all of them before buying the book. I also read the 3 new reviews since receiving and reading the book. A book of this nature cannot please everyone - it will save some relationships and bury some relationships that have been long dead. Depending upon your life upbringing, the book will either apply to you or not. Since I started reading the book, I have been raving about it. Get this book. I bought a second copy to send to a friend. I even recommended friend who is a single mother raising a son to get this book.

This is somewhat of a engagingly titled book that effectively looks at the co-dependence, trauma, behaviors, and secrets that men who the author defines as “nice guys” face in their lives as adults. Mainly a Freudian approach to the variety of childhood traumas and abandonments that have affected the “nice guy,” men who read this book may find the various solutions to the unconscious ways they ultimately self-destruct in not embracing their manhood and honesty as adults. Because of this abandonment, shame, fear, and unawareness that they are “monogamous to their dysfunctional mothers,” this book explores several strategies to awaken, explore, and embrace masculinity in the face of a variety of personal, social, and familial repressions. In doing this, one is given permission to live the life they want to live through simple, direct steps.

There are some things i loved about this book, and some that I was not entirely excited about or entirely understood.

To begin, I loved the simple approaches to living with integrity, purpose, unapologetically going for what one wants rather than settling. It makes you more attractive, more likely to get what you want out of this life, and less likely to try to appease everyone else to avoid conflict. The anecdotes presented, while not entirely scientific, were shocking to recognize in my own life. To approach many of my difficulties with the strategies presented in this book, I feel like I am definitely on the right track to making my life better.

There were also some places where the book went a little bit off the rails for me - mainly in contradictory messages. In the book, pornography and fantasizing are both considered to be a major life energy suck, but at the same rate the author espouses taking charge of one’s own sexual needs - namely without the need of pornography but also having expectations from your spouse and avoiding having affairs. Furthermore, what if one woke up one day and felt that living with multiple partners was the way that one wants to live such as in polyamorous relationships - in other words, if there are no rules in this life as the author proposes, why does he add rules? Another is the idea that everyone around the person trying to make the change needs to be aware of the changes, and on board with it - which seems to contradict the idea of taking charge and avoiding conflict. Finally, and many others said this in their reviews, but the amount of plugging of his men’s groups was a bit off putting, but at the same rate, he also encourages men to start their own of any caliber, so that isn’t as big of a deal as it appears.

Overall, I found this book incredibly helpful and extremely liberating. I have read several books over the past few weeks surrounding the same topic (five love languages, sex starved marriage, etc), but there are only two that I found really explored why and how I behave the way I do, and effective strategies about what I should do about it. This book, and Amanda Palmer’s “The Art of Asking” (978-1455581085), both empowered me to make some serious life changes and provided clear strategies of how to get what one wants out of this life. I am going to read this again, and begin my journey in earnest.

I give this book four stars because the book format was painful to read. It was only 178 pages no less. I am starting with the cons because I suffered through reading this book.

Aside from the obvious fact he is not a writer, in the purest sense of the word, this book was deserving of being published in my humble opinion.

The author touches on many critical points that most of American media is silent on. I applaud him for writing and publishing the book. I am glad I read the book because the content was definitely worth reading.

For the record, I don't feel as I am a nice guy based on the author's description. However, I was definitely a nice guy when I was younger. I kicked the habit some time ago, though, there are remnants.

If you struggle with feeling like a man this book should be your first task. If you were raised by a single mother I believe you need this book. I won't dissect this book like other reviewers. I didn't expect to read a textbook.

If you came to this book thinking it would be a scientific review you would be a sad panda. He talks about why nice guys don't feel good about themselves and why women don't respect them as much as they could or should.

Every young man should be given this book if he was not raised by a healthy mature man. That is my position.

The title may cause you to think that this book will teach you how to be a bad boy pick up artist. If that's what you want, it may do that. However, that is not the point. The point is about discovering your authentic self and being true to that. I have read many self help books, and this one is one of the best I've ever read. I didn't find that all of the traits that he describes applied to me, but many did. The course of action he recommends is very similar to 12 step recovery, but no reference to higher power. It is about examining your life, figuring out who you are and what your purpose is, and acting consistently with that. Great book.

Rarely I read a book where I feel the Author wrote my life story. From the very beginning, I found myself agreeing with everything he was saying. From outside I should be successful - a PhD, married, job bla bla but from my own standpoint I am useless, worthless and can't do anything right. At the same time, always want to give but unable to receive. The list can go on and on.

Once I finished skimming through the book I started to do the exercises and I already feel much better. While reading it found that I have always been a "people pleaser". And just like everyone else, I also thought I had the perfect childhood. This book gave me both a microscope and telescope to look at my life in a way I have never seen.

Highly recommend this for every "good man". I am buying this for few friends who I think should read. I also think the reviews that find flaws in this book because of author's point on feminism is really doing a disservice to this book. Most of us who will read this book are smart enough to ignore those parts that does not match our life. Broadly speaking, if you get one idea in a book, I consider that as a success. With this book you will get many.

This book pleads Nice Guys to stop seeking approval and start getting what they want in love, sex and life.

What is a Nice Guy? The author wisely points out that many Nice Guys were baby boomers raised at a time when single mothers and female teachers were prominent due to the war. The lack of a father figure gave rise to these Nice Guys, one of them being my father, who lost his mother when he was six. After reading this book, I diagnosed my fickle father to be a classic Nice Guy, with my mother being the breadwinner of the family. This was a real eye opener!

However, a major problem I had with this book is that it over-generalizes the traits of a Nice Guy. For example, it says Nice Guys are generally terrible listeners and rarely available to work all the way through a problem. I find myself being good at both but simply find it extremely hard to feel intimate to the opposite sex (because of the way I was brought up). It then lists a bunch of personas that are impossible to relate to. There are many parts to a problem - you only need one missing to go wrong and the author should've been clearer about this.

This book has diagnostics of the Nice Guy Syndrome scattered among it and a heavy emphasis of parenthood influence on our adulthood behavior. However, it lacks a definite cure to these symptoms.

On the contrary, I found more cohesive advice in shaping your character in Mark Manson’s “Models: Attracting Women Through Honesty”. Many similar points are better illustrated in his book. I highly recommend it.

Key Insights:
- Childhood abandonment makes us believe that some of our needs are “wrong”, which greatly affects what we seek in relationships later in life, and ultimately leads us to play the role of a victim.
- Do not practice deprivation thinking and see yourself as worthless. Learn to get your needs met (make it easier for others to give), express your emotions and set boundaries.
- Nice Guys tend to find dysfunctional partners to overshadow their toxic shame. Learn to let go of the past.
- Embrace your masculinity and build meaningful relationships with men.
- Seeking approval from women (caretaking) destroys a relationship. Learn to give unconditionally.
- Make a conscious decision to change your current state. Create the kind of intimate relationships you want and say no to bad sex.