The Last Closet: The Dark Side of Avalon

A hard, but necessary, book to read. Highly recommend for anybody whose life has been touched by molestation. Slightly triggering. In my case, brought to mind an incident with a cousin I have long repented of, but realize the effects may be still lingering.

This is why the sexual revolution has produced more evil than good. When adults put selfish motives over the development of children, development becomes stunted.

In this remarkable work by the daughter of famous fantasy novel Marion Zimmer Bradley and polymath coin expert Walter Breen, the full scope of the conspiracy of silence about child molestation and rape in "progressive" America is laid bare. The author was sexually assaulted and physically abused by her parents, chiefly her mother, from very early childhood. So were her two brothers...That, in itself, is sadly not completely unusual. As a former caseworker and supervisor in a child protection unit in a large city, I encountered some pretty awful things.
What is really horrific and beyond my experience is that large numbers of people in the Sci-fi and "progressive" communities were aware that Walter Breen, a brain damaged genius, had been molesting and raping young boys, and sometimes girls, for 35 years on both coasts of America, and not one person made a serious effort to put a stop to his criminal and diabolical activities. He was finally arrested when the author went to the police after she had warned her father to stop or else.
Marion Zimmer Bradley's activities were much less known, though not confined to her own family either. But the famous author of 'The Mists of Avalon', not only sexually abused her children, she nearly beat the author to death on two occasions. Again, those who knew about her bizarre and criminal actions covered for her repeatedly because they shared her feminist, pro-LGBT, and politically leftist sentiments...Even now, some people in the Sci-Fi community are attempting to defend her, or at least deflect attention from her horrific actions. The President of the SFWA, Cat Rambo, is the latest to engage in this effort, but happily has come under heavy fire for her disgusting actions ....
Not surprisingly, as Moira Greyland (she changed her name for obvious reasons) shows in detail, many of these brutalized children had their lives destroyed, and some died young from suicide, drugs, or sheer inability to cope. All those lives wholly or partially ruined so that Gay pedophiles could live out their satantic fantasies of guilt free sex with children. Walter Breen, a member of NAMBLA, even wrote a book on why it was a good idea...
It's inspirational that Moira, who still suffers from PTSD attacks, was ultimately able to leverage her wonderful abilities as a professional vocalist, harpist, seamstress, and teacher into a happy marriage and family. But she is the exception, and this book is her attempt to bring help to all the other victims out there..It's a tough read at times, but buy it!

And disturbing. A kind of Darkness at Noon of the new age, new morality, and homosexual liberation movements. I hope Moira continues to heal. Not for the squeamish.

I originally read this on Kindle unlimited, bought it as an act of support.

It's a fascinating delve into child abuse and the way children cope with their abuse by normalizing it. It's a stark reminder that no matter what, children will always love their parents no matter what those parents do to them. It's also a deeply, deeply homophobic book with odd religious elements that are clearly coping mechanisms but are no less offensive.

First there is some background to this post: When I read the original blog that brought the story of the molestations of Marion Zimmer Bradley, and Walter Breen to sci-fi/fantasy fandom's attention, I was astounded. Marion Zimmer Bradley was one of the giants of speculative fiction, and I knew at least one person who renounced Christianity, and embraced paganism in part due to reading "The Mists of Avalon," and I've known many pagans who cite it as an influence. Later, Ms. Greyland wrote a blog post of her own that resulted in a Hugo nomination, and, eventually, in this book.

Before I delve any further into this review, let me state that this book is very well-written. I tend to stay away from books like this because the emotional content robs you of the ability to objectively judge the writing without people thinking you're a jerk. Fortunately, Ms. Greyland has an excellent command of the English language, and its grammar. Furthermore, the writing is lively, and insightful. The details are emotionally graphic without being titillating, or arousing in any way. It also has moments of humor. She tells us that she will never be a writer because she can hear her mother's disapproval. I hope this proves not to be the case because I would love to read about some other prominent writers, and convention personalities she must have met that might not have relevant to this book.

Many reviews here focus on the abuse, and the strength of the author. These are certainly apparent in the book, but I feel they miss the picture for the pixels. This book is as much an indictment of the excesses of the 60's Berkeley counter-culture as it is a survivor's tale, or of a depraved couple carrying out their utopian vision of "sexually liberating" children. As the Berkeleyization of mainstream culture advances, this book stands as an important warning. You may disagree with Ms. Greyland's opinions, but you cannot deny how her experience formed them.

This book also illustrates the dangers of partisan fandom. Breen was to be barred from a prominent science fiction convention because of his known attraction to young boys, but fans revolted, and he was ultimately allowed to attend. This allowed his abusive patterns to continue at other conventions. Others saw the clues of what Ms. Greyland and her brother suffered, but did nothing because Marion Zimmer Bradley was "important." Sadly, we see this same thing play out now in reactions to this book. The head of a prominent writer's organization recently refused to denounce MZB, because she would rather denounce a senatorial candidate accused of molestation than a woman who died 18 years ago. Somehow, she sees this as a legitimate dichotomy, and denouncing both isn't an option.

Also of note is the sole chapter written almost entirely by someone else. There are two passages in particular where I found myself turning my head away from the book, and reading out of the corner of my eye as I tried to pull away from horror of what Moria faced as a young girl. Nicholas Bosson's account of his molestation by Walter Breen gives no such luxury. In reading it, I felt as is someone grabbed me by the back of my head, and shoved my face in the stark, hemorrhoidal reality of the crime, and its life-altering effects on a young boy.

Survivors of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse will find hope in this book in that shows there is life after the trauma. Friends and family of survivors will find glimmers on how to deal with those who have endured the horrors, the brief section on forgiveness being particularly enlightening (Minor spoiler: it isn't what you likely think). And everyone will find a clear warning of the dangers of ignoring abuse no matter how noble silence seems.

MG is the Alex Solzhenitsyn of the gay liberal utopia forced on us by the spread of the disease of the left coast and now the law of the land in Obergefell. The pivotal biography of the present Weimar republic which everyone will reference when the next Caesar takes power. God bless you, Moira.

I applaud Moira for her courage and tenacity in writing her very non-PC account of her life as the child of abusive homosexual parents. She draws the curtain on all the sanitized tales of homosexual"family life." By God's grace she has persevered through absolutely unbelievable circumstances to shine a light into the dark corner of the "gay community." This is a difficult book to read but so necessary for anyone who wants to truly understand the consequences of the sexual rights agenda, particularly on vulnerable children. All who care about protecting children should read this book.

Obtained through Kindle Unlimited but buying the Paperback as soon as it comes out.

I don't give out many 5 star reviews anymore but there is no way I could give this brave and deeply troubling story any less. I look back to my youth and realize that if I had grown up in the Bay Area or Berkley instead of sleepy Louisiana I might have been a target of the kind of adults Moira was raised by. Without a father at 11 and my mother all but buried in depressions, Sci-Fi became my refuge. Asimov, Bradbury, and Heinline were my best friends as a young adolescent. I would have haunted every con that existed had I had access to them. My thanks to Moria for sharing a story both terrible and brave. Can't wait for a physical copy to place in the hands of some people I know who need the encouragement to be brave this story offers

A touching memoir of a child of gay icon parents. Abuse follows, as it always does. That this book stands is a blow against all those would say that this doesn't happen, and that the odds are just the same as straight parents. No no no, evil follows evil, but the end of the story declares, strongly, that whatever damage is done, it doesn't always mean that evil can win.

very well written
disagree with central premise of alternative sexuality = bad and her claim that family structures outside of the nuclear family inevitably lead to child abuse and neglect
parents suck, families suck, and no amount of grandstanding over supposed societal changes to their structure will change that
I have never seen a working family unit that provides unconditional love to their children, nuclear or not, so to attribute the lack of that characteristic to the sexuality involved seems wrong to me, even if you have identified commonalities in dysfunction in similar relationships
that said, I am the exactly the sort of person you complain about, one of those darned transgender berkeley communist types
there is a compelling story in here, but I feel it ends up overshadowed by the author's unfortunate politics

Just starting Chapter 23. I am getting some similarities with Solzhenitsyn's "One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich". There are different kinds of Gulag.

I find remarkable the author is able to relate the several crimes committed by different people but, at the same time, one could not stop feeling pity for the perpetrators - there are examples of persons whose sense of ethics is not on par with their high intelligence, and there are persons that did not find any alternative to moral debasement to thrive. Having people around that knew the right thing to do, and did the wrong thing, like those examples of bad SF clergy is very sad. From my childhood, I remember some of the quite bad influences of that sexual ethics pioneered in the circles the author writes about, so allow me to express again my thankfulness to the writer.

On the other hand, I like the writing style. Ghastly facts are described in a technically good way, but the sparkles of humor, even the darkest ones, help a lot with the easiness of reading.

You can’t dispassionately read a book like this and see only characters on the page. Moira’s writing is raw, often ragged around the edges; I could nearly hear an audible gasp for breath between the lines. Or maybe that was just me holding my own breath as I devoured the story that explains parts of me in words I have never been able to find.

I know this story. It rings so many bells that I’m sitting here rattled and a bit disoriented yet profoundly compelled to write the only book review I’ve ever taken the time to write.

For those who don’t understand the inner chaos of a child raised in sexual abuse, groomed to find the most reprehensible things “normal” and the most normal things “foreign”, then you must muster the courage to hear her.

No self-pity, no posturing for your affirmations or accolades. No vindictiveness bled through the pages. For that alone I admire her but this story is so much more. She has fought long and hard to tell this story in this way with these words. For all those who can't. Or won't. So they too are not forgotten or lost.

She has stepped into the ring with people who will stop at nothing to destroy anything good and she not only deserves our support, she has earned it.

Well done.

And kudos to Castalia for having the balls to publish this.

A harrowing yet honest account of a childhood that exceeds the nightmares of average people. Author Greyland not only lived to tell the tale, she retained enough sanity to survive it. This is a brave and necessary book. I was given a copy by the publisher, and find that I am quite overwhelmed at the prospect of writing this review. Every employee of Child Protective Services should have a copy on their desk. The book defies reviewing, it's like entering a portal of hell. And yet not knowing what it reveals means one's understanding of humanity is incomplete. That adults could do this to a child is incomprehensible. That a child could survive it is testimony to the human spirit.

I just finished “the last closet” a horrifyingly true story of abuse and coverups. I am struck by how Breen tried to normalize pedophilia and rape by pouring money and influence on the people around him. Some in our society are continuing that foul work, advocating for NAMBLA and violent porn. Also, Berkely hasn’t changed since the 60’s. This guy could groom and condition pre-teens to the point where they would strip their clothes off when they saw him and NO ONE would condemn his abuse. pigs in berkely just covered for him, at the expense of other people. ok done

I have just submitted a letter to the Druidic church, whose Founder, Isaac Bonewits, is named in this memoir as a perpetrator of unspeakable abuse of the six year old Moira in early 1970's. A copy went to the popular Neopagan website, Wild Hunt blog, and a fellow former member who is well-connected in the Druidic and Wiccan circles. I sincerely hope that this will make an impact, even though judging from the ever-pristine public image of others who had been involved in child abuse at the same time, it doesn't give me much hope. Early allegiations of the things described in this book regarding Druid and Wiccan figures were made decades ago and dismissed as "conspiracy theories of Christian Fundamentalists."

Bonewits even had the cheek to found the Aquarian Anti-Defamation League. Well now you can see that he was a perpetrator of child molestation, not mere charismatic free love apologist. When I met him and his Wiccan wife, Phaedra, on a live workshop in the 2000's, it was the fursthest thing on my mind to suspect anything unlawful behind her joking comment, "I was a priestess of a genuine sex cult." Now I have to wonder, was it all consenting adults?

How is it sad to write this, as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse myself, who spent years in recovery from the abuse I encountered while being brought up in the 1990's Catholic Church and later in the Neopagan and New Age circles.

Regarding the book itself, I gave it 5 stars mostly for its unparalleled documentary value and the author's courage. I don't want to judge the writing because that is not what counts in this particular case of memoir.

I remember the impact Marion Zimmer Bradley’s book made upon me. It was one of my favorites and the only one of her books that I truly liked. This retelling of king Authrur has included elements of incest, homosexuality and forbidden loves. Not like Arthur did not have a romance with his sister in the original or that Lancelot did not fall for Guenivere. There was no homosexuality in the original, but if it were true all that stuff would be there.

Moira Greyland , a few years older than myself, lived through Hell. Being the daughter of Marion Zimmer Bradley is no cakewalk. Marion was abusive physically and sexually. Marion grew up on a farm near New York and her family was very abusive. Walter Breen, the husband and father, was an abandoned orphan.

The Boondoggle Affair happened at one of those Science Fiction conventions when it became known that Walter was molesting young boys. He would later meet Marion and they would settle down in Berkeley.

Moira and her two brothers grew up in a hippie / pagan version of Hell. Walter was a nusmatist or a coin expert. Very bright he was one of those types who was a little bit weird. He could not take care of himself and he had a penchant for young boys.

In the sixties he wrote a book called a Greek Love, where in he stated that homosexuality between boys and men was the norm. He also believed that young boys or girls for that matter should be able to choose on their own if they want sex with adults or other children. In Berkeley if one was not sexually liberated enough one was called a prude. According to Moira the parents wanted to raise her as a lesbian. Parents shunned things that made boys too masculine or women to feminine.

All the while growing up Moira was adware of how her father victimized young boys including her boyfriends. Moira herself was victimized by both her mother and father. The results of this lead to aa severe case of PTSD and a sojourn in a mental hospital.

For me this book was an eye opener. All along the way Pagans are coming up as perverts and child molesters. Kenny Klein was a most poignant example. Some example mentioned in her book mention Isaac Bonewitz who asked Marion if he could get sexual favors from Moira. Lewis Carrol used to photograph little girls naked.
It seems that strange attitudes regarding sex are not only tolerated in Pagan, Sci Fi and ren fair circuits but encouraged .

This is a difficult and haunting book to read. I had to stop and catch my breath a few times because of real emotional pain felt while reading it. It is beautifully written. It put my stomach in knots.

Moira endured unimaginable pain as a child, so horrific I can barely wrap my mind around what she suffered. Yet she emerged as a sane, loving, strong, intelligent, and talented woman. And, most of all, courageous. I believe with all my heart that God protected her in some way all throughout her life or she would not have been able to have become the healthy adult she eventually grew into. Obviously I don't know the author personally but her book resonates with love, intelligence and strength. Most astonishingly of all it resonates with honesty and forgiveness. As a mother myself, this book was so heartbreaking to read. I adore my child with all of my heart and soul and naively believe that all mothers love their children unconditionally and will go to any lengths to protect them. Sadly, of course, that is not true.

Read this with an open mind and an open heart and prepare yourself to be deeply shocked. Moira does not disparage her unique, skilled, brilliant yet sick and disturbed parents; she explains what they did to her and her brother, and other children/victims, in a sane, clear voice in which you can hear the pain, the bewilderment and longing for their love. They were never capable of anything resembling love in the sense most normal people think of love. But she strives to understand them, in retrospect, having come to a place of healing as an adult. I applaud this author for her courage in telling her story, with the hope that she has given courage to other hidden victims of severe child abuse to feel stronger in telling theirs.

A phenomenal story of the human spirit's strength. Moira's account sheds light on the problems of arrogance and the complacency of others in the face of evil. The high intellect, as well as the fame brought through writing success, blinded Marion and Walter to their flawed logic and thinking; as the book mentions, the two thought that "this must be a proper thought if 'I' thought it." Additionally, the excuse of "I didn't know" cannot be garnered to anyone even shortly associated with the family. Everyone saw; everyone knew; no one did anything.
Despite this Hell on Earth, Moira courageously strove to be herself. Her defiance to partake in evil is awe-inspiring. At the very least, her life story serves as testament to the spirit of long-suffering. Personally, I am particularly uplifted by Moira's usage of poetry and written works to denigrate her mother's perverse actions; Marion castigated Moira for not "creating", so to use Marion's own advice against herself is beautiful.

This was a difficult read. There were sleepless nights due to the horrors Moira exposes. But this wasn't unusual for me because I've been unable to sleep through the night for years due to the repressed memories of my own childhood brought to the fore by Moira's writings! Though I was not physically or sexually abused the verbal abuse was excruciating and sometimes hit like a punch; I was born 10 years after my dad returned from WWII. I believe he had PTSD because every night he would scream in his sleep and wake up everyone. (There were 6 of us children and my mom.) So sleep was impossible. This added to alcoholic rage made for an unpleasant childhood. During the years that followed I had difficulty sleeping through the night often waking up due to horrific nightmares. This was every night as far back as I can remember and still to this day! I could never figure out what was causing this but now I have an idea of what it might be and can begin to solve the problem . Thanks Moira. God Bless you for having the courage to write this book. I'm sure it will inspire many to tell their own story.

Eloquent and brave.
To write that something so harrowing could be rendered so eloquently seems odd at best, but Moira has such a a gift for writing. I couldn’t put this book down. I spent nights staying awake when usually I would have been asleep for hours.
Writing is a brave journey that may touch on our lives in sometimes large, sometimes incidental ways, but Moira’s story WAS her life, and therefore, her writing it is Herculean. What i found remarkable was Moira’s ability to write candidly without putting herself into a corner as a “victim”
This is a book for those suffering and need a voice of strength that assures them that there is a way to become Whole after such intense abuse.
It reads so much like a “novel” that you have to stop yourself at moments to remind yourself that it is a true story.

This is an excellent book although tough to read in parts because of the sad true story. The writer shares painful details and the book thus becomes a warning about the effects of hedonism and narcissism. Her parents cared far more about their sexual desires and selfish pursuit of success than they cared for their children and others around them. This book is thus a strong statement against modern hedonism.

This book is simply stomach churning. The things that Moira survived are horrifying. I had to split this book up over the course of several days because I simply couldn’t stomach it. The depravity of humanity is laid bare, and it’s truly a disgusting sight to behold.

Moira is a very witty and talented writer, and the book is very well written. Worth a read if you can handle it.

It took courage and maturity to publish something so incredibly personal without sensationalizing the perversion. Facts were delivered and the honest struggle of a daughter to make things right was communicated sincerely.

Fantasy novelist Marion Zimmer Bradley is adoringly remembered for using her fiction to proselytize for goddess-paganism. She insisted that this worldview promised love and joy for everyone who embraced it. And of course, it did produce love and joy-- for Ms. Bradley’s own fictional pagan characters, over whose destinies she wielded the author’s omnipotence.

The same paganism produced rather different conditions for a flesh-and-blood girl over whom Ms. Bradley wielded parental power.
That girl grew up to be a respected musician, who is decidedly not a goddess-pagan: Mrs. Moira Greyland Peat. (She shortens her name for publishing purposes, but sorry guys, she IS already taken.) Her autobiography, “The Last Closet,” reveals what sexual anarchy can do to children who AREN’T imaginary characters in pagan fantasy novels. Modern American liberals eagerly exclaim that every woman who represents herself as the victim of sexual assault or harassment must be instantly and uncritically believed…provided that the alleged offender is a heterosexual male who is not named Bill Clinton. But now that “The Last Closet” has been published, it will be seen if those liberals are willing to admit that GAYS ALSO may commit atrocious sexual crimes.

Marion Zimmer Bradley, a lesbian, was married to a gay man named Walter Breen. Added to the mix was a lesbian “stepmother,” Elisabeth Waters. These three adults ensured that Moira, the daughter, would grow up in an environment heavily populated with butch lesbians. The nominally heterosexual marriage of Bradley and Breen suited both spouses, because they were delighted to give each other a green light for self-indulgence, up to and including homosexual pedophilia. But Breen took his self-indulgence far enough that Moira could no longer in conscience go on keeping his dirty secrets for him. In 1989, she reported him to the police for molesting an underage boy-- which he had brazenly done IN HER SIGHT.
Members of the hard-leftwing cultural establishment are all for children informing on parents if the parents do something the left disapproves of. But some will vilify Moira for informing on a criminal whose actions DON’T impress the left as terribly wrong. When they do this, they will be indicting themselves as haters of truth.

“The Last Closet” dissects the pathology of Breen and Bradley with clinical accuracy; but suffice it here to give a condensed version of Moira’s introduction:

“The reality of gay relationships is nothing like what we are led to believe. As a child, I was expected to approve and champion them as gay parents, even though they were parents who rejected each other and rejected me. I was supposed to become a lesbian and even to cooperate with their efforts to make me become one, but I always knew that I was not supposed to talk about that reality, let alone oppose it. They made it clear that exposing others to the truth would be the worst thing I could ever do to them…

“I could not admit to my parents that I wanted to be a girl, because they thought girls were disgusting. I had to hide my femininity away as though I had been born sexless. I could not tell my parents that I was interested in boys because they wanted a gay child…I couldn’t even ask them for something as simple as a doll, because a doll represented the traditional gender roles they hated…

“Throughout my childhood, I just wanted my mother and father to love each other, to love me, and to stop bringing other people home for sex. I wanted to live in a normal family, where no one would hurt me and expect me to regard it as freedom…

“What is The Last Closet? It is the last thing I am not supposed to be allowed to think or to feel, it is the bundle of facts that lead me to oppose gay marriage and nontraditional relationships. I know from personal experience that these relationships are social constructs which only exist to create sexual anarchy and to confuse sex with love…

“There are many people who would like to believe that my mother was not aware of my father’s crimes-- especially the fans of her fiction --but this is not true…Her own court testimony clearly demonstrates her knowledge of his sexual relationships with young boys.”

I, Joseph Ravitts, have been saying for many years that gay caregivers will pressure a dependent child to pretend that being raised by gays is absolutely heaven on earth. This book proves that I'm right.

Moira freely relates the extenuating circumstances behind Marion Zimmer Bradley’s becoming a “Daughter of Bilitis.” Marion’s father not only pressured Marion to be a meek, domestically-minded woman, but beat her up and even raped her. This history tends to refute those who scoff that lesbianism can’t be caused by a girl having suffered incestuous rape; and Marion certainly deserved sympathy for what she endured. But just as Moira or I would say of a heterosexual abuser, having BEEN abused did not give Marion any right to become a child abuser herself.

Not one to rely on easy stereotypes, Moira does not countenance the stereotype that all radical feminists favor abortion. Badly though Marion Zimmer Bradley was prepared to treat children, she did at least wish to HAVE children; and it was yet another wound to her soul when, before her marriage to Walter Breen, her first husband forced her to have an abortion very much against her will. In recounting this whole grim history, Moira takes no cheap shots; she exposes true faults, but doesn’t invent extra ones in her subjects.

“The Last Closet” is not fiction, least of all is it fantasy; it REFUTES the fiction that homosexuality is a wonderful enlightenment which is making the world better. Every reader of Moira’s book will have to decide: “Shall I remain comfortable going with the flow of political correctness? Or shall I choose to value the welfare and safety of living, breathing children over the prestige of belonging to the cool, hip in-crowd?”

Very sad, and horrific. My heart and prayers go out to Moria. I pray that God heals her heart and soul. Evil has a way of masquerading as light, good and fun. But underneath, when taking a closer look, it's pure evil.

Because of the subject matter, this was a very hard book to read. The abuse described is horrific, and all the worse because it was at the hands of her parents. As horrible as the incidents of sexual abuse were, what really hurt me was the constant harassment and the battle to shape her into her parents' image of what she should be, all couched in the language of freedom.

Moira Greyland writes a devastating memoir of a life growing up in the forefront of the sexual liberation movement and shows that 'free love' comes with an insanely high price tag.

The story overall is an interesting one, if not hard to read because of uncomfortable and heartbreaking content, but she's so pretentious and wordy that I skipped entire paragraphs. Stop talking about Mensa. Stop talking about lack of being put into a good gifted school. Your mother was a bad one for the abuse, not for the schools she put you in or didn't put you in. Also, your mother being fat doesn't need to be repeated ad nauseum. Again, that's not why she was a sorry excuse for a human being. Her being a lesbian also wasn't either. You also psychoanalyzed your parents and their backgrounds. If one were to do that to you, it's obvious you're opposite who they are in response to them. You're anti-lgbtq bc you had bad queer parents even though they don't accurately represent the community. You're religious bc they hated that. Atheism or spiritualism or queerness are not represented well by your parents. You're not looking at them objectively, but through the lens of your parents' spin. And yes, you're smart, but saying it over and over in many different ways is tiresome.