The Big Sister, How to Be a Baby . . . by Me

I thought this book had a horirbly negative tone. It casts the younger sibling in a terrible light. I was reading it to my 3 year old daughter hoping it would reinforce the positive and special role that big sisters can play with their younger siblings. Instead, 3 pages in, I had to start changing the words so that my daughter wouldn't pick up on the real tone of the book. After bedtime I took the book out of her room to dispose of it before she'd have the chance to read it again.
Sample quotes:
- "When you're a baby, you don't have any real friends. (I have lots.)"
- "When you're a baby you don't sit on a chair, you are tied to it. Or you fall off and bang your head and scream and have to go to bed"
- "... you get bigger and your legs stretch out and your tummy gets long so you don't look so fat like a big balloon with a weird belly button sticking out"

GOOD THING I ONLY BORROWED THIS BOOK FROM THE LIBRARY!!!

I sat down with my 9 and 5 year old girls, telling them how excited I was to be reading a book about them, a big sister and a little/baby sister! However, after reading the first few pages of things telling us why babies are basically no good, I saw the look of offense on my little one's face and stopped reading after page 3. Here are the things I found offensive...very mild, but it continued:

- When you're a baby, you just wear your pajamas ALL THE TIME and not real clothes
- Your mommy and daddy have to dress you, because you don't know how. (But I do).
- You don't understand TV
- People talk to you, but you don't know what it means
- You talk, but no one knows what you're saying
- You sing songs, but you don't know the words or the tune (I know the words and the tune AND THE DANCE)
- You can only sit. You can't stand, or walk, or go ANYWHERE. People have to carry you EVERYWHERE. (This is you being carried EVERYWHERE). <insert picture of baby with a sad face in a backpack>
- HERE'S WHAT ELSE YOU CAN'T DO <insert a list of 8 things a baby can't do, but a bratty big sister could do...including "Actually, anything really fun">

And there were 12 more pages after that that I couldn't read to my kids. Other topics with a list of items I see as I skim through are:

- HERE'S WHAT ELSE YOU ARE SCARED OF
- HERE'S WHAT ELSE YOU DON'T KNOW
- HERE'S WHAT ELSE YOU DO THAT'S ILLEGAL

I am so glad my 9 year old isn't as selfish and self-absorbed as the big BRAT in this book. What a horrible life these two characters in the book have. I am so sad for them.

My oldest got this book before her middle sister was born (she was 6). She is very sweet but understands a joke...She loved the Joanna Cole big sister book, but enjoyed laughing at the silly things in this book. She would make some comments that some of the things the big sister says aren't very nice...but enjoyed the lighthearted nature. For her this book was certainly 5 stars!

Now my middle daughter wanted her older sister to read this now that she is a big sister and honestly I hate it. She is very literal and I intentionally tell her sister to skip over certain parts that either still apply to her or I just don't want her thinking about the baby. For her this book is maybe 2 stars.

Before letting your child read this book I would advise borrowing or looking at it first to see if it would be an ok fit for them. Different kids are going to respond to this book differently and you will know your child best!

1-2 or 4-5 stars will depend upon your child. The Joanna Cole big sister book is great if you're looking for a book that just shows a new baby in a positive light.

Books on welcoming a new sibling abound, many heartwarming, many boring, most dealing with sibling rivalry -- and only a few of them are truly funny. In this engaging volume, a newly-promoted big sister speaks to her new brother, outlining rather sympathetically what it's like to be him. There are fewer opportunities: "When you're a baby, people eat your ice cream for you, because ice cream isn't appropriate for babies." There are restrictions: "You don't sit on a chair. You are tied to it. Or you fall off and bang your head and scream and have to go to bed." She contrasts his limitations with her own abilities, looking forward to the time when he will be old enough to copy everything she does. The speaker's self-satisfied superiority is conveyed with humor, but the speaker seriously acknowledges her brother's dependence on others, and she responds to his vulnerability with a protective tenderness.

Lloyd-Jones does a masterful job capturing a child's voice and perspective, and Heap's whimsical artwork perfectly complements the lighthearted mood of the text. This is a wonderful portrayal of a positive sibling relationship, providing an example for older siblings to emulate without being at all moralistic. It's appropriate for preschoolers and an elementary audience, and adults will enjoy it too.

My 6 (almost 7) year old daughter loves this book. Even though baby brother has been here for almost 6 month she reads it again and again. This is by far one of the best baby shower gifts I got. We laugh and enjoy reading and seeing how true the big sister writing the book is. You won't be disappointed.

Checked this out at a library and my daughter and I loved it. She is 5 and has a 3 yr old brother. Now that they are pecking order age it is really fun, when I read it to them I found myself thinking she could have written it. Pretty funny and cute! Just ordered it for a friend with a 4 yr old daughter about to have a baby sister.

Some of the lines had me laughing so hard! Perfect balance of showing annoyance and love toward a younger sibling...which is such a reality for older siblings. Sometimes, they just get annoyed with the baby, but that never means the overwhelming love (that they can't even grasp yet WHY they have it) goes away.

A definite plus (and thankfully not the focus, since that's not the point of the book) was how MANY things the older sister recognizes she can do that the baby can't (thereby instilling confidence in their role as an older sibling, vs. the tendency to act like the younger one to compete for attention).

This is an adorably written and illustrated book from the point of view of the big sister. Yes, she makes many "negative" comments about her sibling, but as the book progresses it is cute to see the softening of the tone and how the baby grows on her. At first the book put me off, but my then 3 year old daughter LOVED it, and now that our "baby" is 4, we still read it as a family.

I like these books because they have huge child appeal AND adult appeal, so I don't tire of reading them. They are a little long for a read aloud if you don't have much time, but it's worth it! Kids pick up savvy advice and laugh at the inside jokes. Recommended.

After reading this book, decided not to give to my 3 year-old granddaughter because it was too advanced. This book is more appropriate for a "Big Sister" who is in elementary school as opposed to pre-school. First and second graders and early readers would love this book--not that she could read the book by herself but the content would be more interesting. I will put the book away for a few years.

This book definitely made my 3 year old feel better about being a big sister soon, but the book did get a bit negative about all the minuses of being a baby. That did prompt my daughter to say she will help the baby with all of those minuses, like helping eat the mushy baby food, and sit on her bike when he's big enough. Overall a good book to boost the soon-to-be older sibling's confidence.

I read the reviews before I purchased this book, just because there were other books out there I could have gotten. There were some folks that were absolutely mortified by some of the text. But, if you read the whole book, and not just excerpts, AND you have a talk with the prospective "big sister" about how they're different, it can be a very cute book. It won't answer all whoos of the big sis and it won't make the problems go away if someone is not adapting well. It's humor, not a self help book.

My new favorite children's book! Such a fun, light-hearted look at being a big sister. My five year old daughter and I giggled out loud when we read this the first time from the library. The writing is right on level with a child's sense of humor, but fun for adults to read as well. This one I have to have for our permanent collection.

This book is delightful! There is much to laugh at, much to love. I've shared it with my 3-year-old granddaughter, who will be a big sister come September. She was much intrigued by the great art work, and I could tell it helped enhance her self esteem, as well.

My new favorite children's book! Such a fun, light-hearted look at being a big sister. My five year old daughter and I giggled out loud when we read this the first time from the library. The writing is right on level with a child's sense of humor, but fun for adults to read as well. This one I have to have for our permanent collection.

This book is delightful! There is much to laugh at, much to love. I've shared it with my 3-year-old granddaughter, who will be a big sister come September. She was much intrigued by the great art work, and I could tell it helped enhance her self esteem, as well.

I appreciate the point that this book is attempting to make. However, I really felt like it went too far. Can't we focus on how each member of the family makes a unique (and positive) contribution? Not in this book. In this book it is all about how the older sibling is superior to the younger one.

A few quotes to illustrate my point:

"When you're a baby, it's not good because you don't have any hair. (I have long hair like a princess.)"

"When you're a baby you don't have any real friends. (I have lots.)"

And, my personal favorite, a quote about riding in a car seat...

"You don't even face the right way. (I prefer to sit in a seat like a normal person.)"

This is NOT the kind of relationship I want to encourage my children to have with their younger siblings!

I think the author could have found a better way to acknowledge the fears that an older sibling has about the "baby invasion". Yes, babies are "strange" and different and a little funny (or scary) but the things they do are normal for babies. Why do we have to apply negative value judgments to them in order to feel good about ourselves?

I skipped over large sections of this book while reading it to my daughter and I'm glad I got it from the library because it will be going back immediately!

We just checked this out from the library. I really don't like it at all. The child narrator is a brat. The things she says are NOT things I would allow my older children to EVER say to my younger children. They are things that sometimes my older children do get off their chest to me, and I value that and think it's important. I respect their feelings and we discuss them. ALL feelings are valid. But not all feelings should be reinforced and reveled in and that is what this book is doing.

Also, the big sister proceeds to tell the baby that "when you go in the car... You don't even face the right way... I prefer to sit in a seat like a normal person." Extended rear-facing is safer practice. AAP states that babies should not forward face until 20lbs AND 1 year old, and I understand they are thinking of amending that to 2yo. Other countries regularly rear-face their children until age 4 or more. Most US car seats are capable of rear-facing to over 30lbs and Graco is soon debuting a car seat that will rear-face up to 40lbs. My oldest child happily rear-faced for over 4 years and my younger children are still happily riding the "wrong way" according to this book. Sadly, they have several peers that refuse to rear-face because of peer pressure, from the pre-school set, no less. Perhaps I should recommend this book to those peers, as it's right up their derisive alley.

Sorry to be mean to the authors, but I'm unhappy with this book's message.