Life Lessons from My Grandmothers - Don't Sing at the Table

I LOVE books that could be referred to as "Dedication of Love" to grand parents! Quite often they even are a wonderful look into a culture and it's traditions, because the grand parents were the ones who "lived these traditions" on the "stage of Life" and engraved them into our hearts, minds and memory forever. This covers areas such as relationships, Love, marriage, family, (life and work) ethics , disappearing trades, cooking and wonderful family recipes, but most of all beautiful and critically important lessons in "what makes a woman a "Woman", and "a man a Man".... That's why everybody who wasn't lucky enough to have (and live with!) his/her own (for example) Italian, Jewish or Irish grandmotherand grandfather, can "borrow" the author's 'Gram'.... and learn these beautiful and important life lessons from her!
A suggestion to readers who, like myself, absolutely LOVE this category of books, should check out Ruth Reichl's autobiographical writings! You won't be disappointed.....!

Being a third generation Italian and having one of my grandmothers live with our family I can really relate to this book. Both my grandmothers had a profound influence on me and I wouldn't trade that for the world.

The book was interesting; however she sings the praises of her grandmothers because they always worked outside of the home. (The children were raised by friends and neighbors.) while discounting her own mother because her mother actually raised her own children. Perhaps she should credit her "lessons learned" not from her grandmothers, but her mother. A woman (just like all animals) can't be gone a lot and be a good mother.

I enjoyed the beginning of the book where the author tells about the youth of her grandmothers. About half way through, it starts to become repetitive and, in my opinion, self-serving. I understand it was lessons she learned from her grandmother, but she writes that these lessons are what make her such a good writer and great mother. Also, shouldn't a good writer know when to use the word "less" and when to use "fewer?"

Since both sets of my grandparents, and my father, emigrated from Italy, I share a common understanding of the author and her family. I thought it would be more of a novel-type story, yet Ms. Tragiani's detailed memoir of the two strong, independent, moral, highly-motivated grandmothers in her life gived us a personal and biographical peek into the value of the older generation to the young child who is watching his or her every move. These beautiful memories sustain and motivate the author in her own life. There is no better treasure than sharing the heart and soul and spirit of such wise Nonnas, and being able to carry it all in your own heart so that you can pass it on, as well..

I have read other books by Adriana Trigiani...Very Valentine, Brava Valentine, Big Stone Gap and Home to Big Stone Gap. I thoroughly enjoyed them, particularly the Valentine novels. When I previewed this book on Kindle, I was under the impression that it was a novel based on the author's grandmothers' lives. This book is in fact a biography of those ladies. While it is a nice homage to them, if I had known this was the case I would not have purchased this book.

Historical family tales are always interesting to me. I enjoyed the stories of both her Grandmothers lives which brought Adriana to this point in her life. I liked less the last section when she tries to pass her "lessons" on to the reader. Maybe the advice would be easier for a younger reader to accept, but I found it a bit boring.

This cookbook written by Adriana and her sisters brought back memories of my own family and the recipes from my grandmother and my mom, since I also come from an Italian family. I enjoyed some of the unfamiliar ones like the polenta, because we never had this when I was growing up. Adriana's warmth and wit shines through in this delightful addition to ones collection of books by this wonderful author. I can't wait to try out some of the recipes for my family and friends. With the Christmas season upon us now, it is the perfect time to indulge in the entrees and sweet and decadent desserts for upcoming family gatherings. Thank you Adriana!!

This tale started as a chaming story of an Ittalian family telling details of the Author's family and history. I felt a tender love for the writer' a Grandmothers. However ,we were taken down a side road of philosophy and lessons on child rearing. UFO had wanted books on these subjects I would have purchased them. So sad...I became bored and stoped reading.

I read other books by Trigiani and loved them. However this book was much of the same information presented from another view point. The book was way too long and did not hold my interest. I just wanted it to be over with. For that reason I am afraid to start reading Viola in Real Life as I fear I will find it the same.

the author got very preachy......about her grandmother's lessons and how we need to apply it.

As for the title.....there was one small reference to not singing at the table......

wait until it's a free title.

Fans of Adriana Trigiani's novels will recognize the women in her non-fiction book- her grandmothers Lucy and Viola have appeared in many of the characters in her fiction. Not only does Trigiani do a marvelous job of recounting the fascinating life stories of these women, she uses their lives to write a primer for living your own life.
Women like Lucy and Viola are the people who made this country great, and they jump off the pages in this delightful book. They have more than their fair share of troubles, (both of them are widowed), but their sheer will and strength of character will inspire other women to persevere and succeed as they did.
Although she is an Italian immigrant, Lucy moves to Minnesota and takes on the stoic characteristics of American midwesterners. She loses her husband at an early age and raises her three children on her own, all while running her own business. Viola was a pistol, running her own clothing factory, raising her family, entertaining friends in her lovely home, traveling.
Both women had terrific advice for their granddaughter, and the way that Trigiani structures the book, first telling their life stories, then sharing the how living their lives were examples we could all follow today, makes this book so enjoyable. DON'T SING AT THE TABLE would make a great gift for the women in your life, both those starting out and those whose wisdom should be shared with their own families.

Adriana Trigiani's many fans won't be surprised to learn how the strength, support and inspiration she has gleaned from her beloved grandmothers inform her work. In these stories, we meet the ladies themselves: Lucy (Lucia Spada Bonicelli) and Viola (Yolanda Perin Trigiani). Lucy and Viola possessed many strengths and talents, both similar and complementary, for their granddaughter to admire and emulate. It's a pleasure to learn of their lives through these lively, descriptive and heartfelt anecdotes.

Lucy's story begins as the eldest of eight children, living in the Italian Alps. The family fell upon hard times. Their circumstances were so dire, in fact, that Lucy offered to travel with her father to the United States to find work. They planned to send money home and then eventually return to buy a house that would make the family secure. When she finally arrived here, Lucy found a job in a mill operating a sewing machine that paid $2 a week. She also met her future husband, a handsome shoemaker named Carlo Bonicelli. Theirs was not only a love match; they were a working team, with Carlo opening a shoe shop while Lucy ran her own dressmaking business. When Lucy was just 35, she was a widow. Still, she managed to raise a family and send her children to college by selling factory-made shoes and by sewing and altering garments. Although she had no blood relations nearby, she built a community of friends who were always available for her and her kids.

Yolanda Trigiani was called Viola --- except for the business she owned with her husband, "The Yolanda Manufacturing Company." She grew up on a farm and always believed in a productive but gracious home life. Even as she kept a perfect home, she ran her business in a constant quest for flawlessness. Like Lucy, Yolanda began working in a factory at a young age. As a testament to her drive, she ably made the leap from working girl to eventually owning her own factory. Viola was an ambitious, hard-working businesswoman, determined that their business would succeed. Details about the workings of the factory are quite fascinating.

Trigiani's love, respect and admiration for Lucy and Viola are obvious in her warm and descriptive writing. She tells us that Viola's urgency, passion and dedication are qualities that she draws upon for her writing. As a legacy from both grandmothers, she learned how to parent (some of those child-rearing theories, such as the admonition not to be a child's friend, are intriguingly contrary to many popular notions). She also draws on their examples of how to maintain friendships and how to be a valuable part of the community. Each grandmother, although constantly busy, managed to make time for a personal spiritual quest. This inspires their granddaughter, who describes her own feelings about religion and spirituality in an absorbing essay.

While DON'T SING AT THE TABLE is sure to appeal to Adriana Trigiani's fans, it should also attract new readers who have yet to discover the delights of a Trigiani novel. These lucky souls are likely to be struck by the generous spirit of the author, who invites us into her family so that we, too, can enrich our lives by gleaning wisdom from these remarkable women. Lucy and Viola would certainly approve.

--- Reviewed by Terry Miller Shannon

In this memoir, Adriana Trigiani introduces us to her grandmothers, Lucia & Viola. Through their approach to and way of life, they were lifelong role models. Their life lessons are their legacy.

Adriana writes a chapter on each woman, giving her history while giving tribute to that woman. Each chapter is a gift to that woman and to the reader, as well. Many photographs add to the beauty of the book and bring the history and the women to life.

Clinging to traditions and simple values, Lucy and Viola managed to forge ahead through life and all that it brought, including the most difficult times. Spirituality and morals were the foundation for both women; this they imparted upon family and generations to come. Chapters in the book share their wisdom on marriage, children, and the many aspects of family and life.

The lives of these very real women are relatable. From their roles as working women and mothers, they faced what many women face today. It is their spirit and common sense that immortalize them.

This is a very special memoir, and much more. It honors two very special women. Their wisdom, advice and lessons are timeless. All women should strive to be this type of role model for future generations. It is sad to think that not everyone has women like these grandmothers in their lives. Those who do should indeed honor them.

Adriana Trigiani describes the lives of her two grandmothers. Both of Italian descent, one was a second-generation immigrant, while the other grandmother came to the US after she married.

The book is divided into chapters, each dealing with a particular topic. First, we learn about the grandmothers as children, the family and community they grew up in. Then there are chapters about the working lives of the two grandmothers. One runs a factory and the other has her own shoe shop and dress making business. Both women work their whole lives.

The book relates about the women's courtship and marriage (both have partners who die young), about travelling, children and religion.

I especially enjoyed the first part of the book, dealing mostly with the background. When it came to the actual "lessons", I didn't like how Trigiani explained time and again how she and her family also keep to the grandmothers' wise words. It was as if she was trying to score points or get the approval of her readers (or possibly, her grandmothers!).

I found the book inspiring. The grandmothers spent a long time as widows but they worked hard and lived by their principles and succeeded very well in doing what they wanted.

If you know Adriana Trigiani's other books, you will sometimes recognise places and people and there are definitely elements from her fiction that can be found back in this memoir.

I love Adriana Trigiani's writing and once again I open up on e of her books and I am amazed by what I find inside. A beautiful tribute to her grandmothers, you will learn of two incredibly strong women who let life lessons trickle down to the next generations and sat the bar high!

I read this book and think about what a throw away society we are today. It is cheaper to throw away a broken toaster than to have it fixed. I think of all the scraps of material I have tossed through the years left overs from projects and I now think of all the things my grandmothers would have found uses for. I could have learned a lot from these women, I think we all could have.

Adriana Trigiana writes a wonderful memoir here that pulled at my heart all the way through. What a beautiful tribute! I highly recommend this read.

Share this with your daughter your best friend. Anyone that you adore. Now having read The Shoemakers Wife and Very Valentine I believe Adriana is one of the best writers of modern day. She puts you directly in touch with her characters. She allows you to go back into your own valued memories. This is the magic of Trigiani. A must read.

The actual story is a little dry. But the message is clear.
It reminded me of my own grandmothers. And I know the area
in PA where one of the grandmothers in the story lived.
The message at the end was worth the read.

I read other books by Trigiani and loved them. However this book was much of the same information presented from another view point. The book was way too long and did not hold my interest. I just wanted it to be over with. For that reason I am afraid to start reading Viola in Real Life as I fear I will find it the same.