Slightly Profane and Entirely Logical Answers to Modern Etiquette Dilemmas

Not a good as her other books. This is her take on an etiquette books and really it's a bit lack luster (sorry Celia). Also she gets into politics a little more than I'd like and it's a bit off putting. I bought this book as a good read for after a surgery and 100 pages in I just couldn't go any further. Maybe it ends in a spectacular way, but I doubt it. That said... I think I am going to force myself to finish this not so good book.

I heard an interview with Celia on NPR and thought she was pretty funny so I bought the book. I thought the first half was decently funny but the format got old fairly quickly. It was actually quite a chore to finish the book.

I have enjoyed Celia Rivenbark's previous books - with her mix of humor, attitude and ultimate empathy for all women just trying to make it through the quirks of life. What happened to that caring side? She comes across as tacky (an ultimate Southern put-down) and terrible example of grace under fire (no grace here). I will be moving on to other authors who keep the sweetness in the bite of humor.

The person fits the attitude this author slims across her pages so I sent it in the mail and received a thank you, of a kind, that is pretty much slimed. Don't buy if you have some class...maybe any class.

Celia Rivenbark writes with a felt-tipped pickaxe handle. She is not delicate. But she is very funny. Very funny. She crafts her paragraphs for maximum laughs. She comes back to cash in on a line pages later. No shot is wasted. She clearly knows what she's doing. This is a well thought through effort in self awareness and self mockery. It's a pleasure to just to look at. To read it is its own reward.

It would be better without quite so much Kardashian. Five times in 167 pages. It would also be better if she didn't use quite so many four letter words. It's not only too easy, it minimizes their impact. Very quickly, it just becomes trash talk, and Rivenbark is far more skilled than that. Here are three sterling examples:

-On raising her teenage daughter: If you don't put that phone in the other room during dinner, I will crush it, along with your spirit, beneath the wheels of the car you will never drive. Sweetheart.

-In discussing funerals, there's this wisdom about baking a ham: This is my go-to ham recipe, and it came from Southern Living magazine, which, along with the fabulous Garden & Gun, should be on your coffee table at all times, praise Jesus.

-I am a true American. Which means I have zero interest in learning about another culture, unless it is in the safe confines of EPCOT or the International House of Pancakes.

This is so far from anything like etiquette, you wouldn't know it was the same country that produced so many neurotic, rigid, stifling, punishing books on manners in the last century. Society has changed so much, the old rules are way beyond laughable. Rude Bitches accelerates the process, mocking today's insufficiencies, without imposing idiotic new rules.

However. This new society is so slovenly, so graceless, so self-centered and narcissistic, it is pathetic. Basically, anything goes, and that's not the most pleasant state of being. Thankfully, there is someone who can step right into the middle of it to make fun of it all (while claiming all along to be above the fray). My hat is tipped to Celia Rivenbark, bless her heart. Just sayin'.

David Wineberg

MY THOUGHTS
LOVED IT

This is one part etiquette book, one part hilarious memoir and all parts funny.
Since Dave Barry isn't writing a regular column anymore, I have been stalking Rivenbark online to catch her columns instead. I have read all of her books and have loved each and every one of them. In her latest collection of essays, she tackles manners and takes them out, yes, just like a football center taking out the quarterback. Seriously, I had to read this one in the bathroom with the door closed and the fan on to muffle my laughing. I suppose that Rivenbark would have something to say about that.

This book is just made of fun. It is one of those books that you can easily read a chapter here and there. Be aware: this book isn't for the person who dislikes a bad word here and there. I think everyone will relate to the Line Jumper, the Teen (otherwise known as PRINCESS) and PDAs - (one word Don't!). The question and answer format will have you thinking that Dear Abby has come back to life. I know her daughter is now writing that column, but she will never be Abby. If you enjoy Dave Barry, Jen Lancaster or Laurie Notaro, you need to catch this author.

Picked up this book because I was looking for something light and funny. Maybe I was expecting too much but it really wasn't as great as I had hoped. There were times that I chuckled, times were I rolled my eyes, and times when I asked out loud "Really??". It is sad to see how manners tend to be put on the backburner. One of my pet peeves is rudeness. So I was hoping for humor but at the same time, setting the manners straight. Throughout the book the questions were occasionally answered like this. Other times, they weren't even answered at all. You would get "I can't help you" or she would run on a tangent about herself. It definitely wasn't a horrible book but wasn't that great either.

"If you really believe you have all the answers,which I do, why not share with the class?" says Celia Rivenbark in Rude Bitches Make Me Tired: Slightly Profane and Entirely Logical Answers to Modern Etiquette Dilemmas. She freely admits that this is not your Momma's etiquette book, although there is still a need for that sort of thing.

No, this etiquette book covers things such as playdates, how to really split the bill at the restaurant, how to give and receive compliments, and how to behave when arrested. As for the latter, "it's important to show you were 'raised right.'"

Yes, there is profanity in the book, but none of it is used solely for shock value. It rather is a natural outgrowth of the material being discussed. Long as you know up front that it's coming, you have no reason to complain about it.

The answers to the questions posed really are for the most part logical and common sense. Of course not all of us are gifted with common sense. But it's the expression of the answers that really sets the book apart. It is full of humor even when describing people at their worst. This book would make a good gift for someone whose behavior you were subtly trying to correct. Or a great gift for someone whose funny bone you wanted to tickle.

I gave this book 3 out of 5 stars because I enjoyed it, but not as much as some of her other work.

Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book in exchange for my unbiased opinion.

INITIAL THOUGHTS
Upon approaching reading this I Was hoping for a laugh out loud funny book about etiquette on some very modern day dilemma's as well as some older etiquette issues too.
At 90% - my thoughts were - the book certainly delivers the laughs and cringes as well as the odd OMG I do that! moments. A great light laughter inducing read.

MY REVIEW
I fancied a light hearted read and saw this one on Netgalley, so? I requested it and was lucky enough to receive an e-copy in exchange for my honest review.
So the cover is also on the comedic side and quite attractive. Would I pick it up in a book store? Yes I think I would.
So the book is a great collection of dilemma's and the correct way to handle them. There's everything from how and when you should reply to RSVP's to how to get rid of dinner guests that don't know when it's time to go home!
It really is laugh out loud funny. It took me longer to read the book as the tears flowed down my cheeks as I was laughing so hard. Another reason I took so long in reading the book was the fact that I had my daughter and my mum asking what I was laughing at and had to keep reading out sections to them!
This book is fantastic to dip in and out of, to carry about or read on a long boring journey.
This review looks really short, however, that is not a bad reflection on the book. It's just I do not wish to give away the books brilliant contents.
So did I enjoy the book? I really, really did yes! Would I recommend the book? I highly recommend it. In fact it would be ideal as a gift to someone ill in hospital etc. A definite cheer me up book.Would I read a Bk#2? Definitely! Would I read more books by this Author? I certainly intend to I find her humor infectious and very much in line with my own.

Celia Rivenbark delivers hilarious advice for all sorts of socially awkward situations. I have the benefit of reading Rivenbark's column in our local newspaper, and many times I don't find it particularly amusing. I sometimes find her column, well, frankly, rude, so I found the book's title pretty ironic. I wasn't exactly sure what to expect. I was pleasantly surprised. My husband thought I was nuts because I kept laughing out loud.

I was given this book as a gift and I enjoyed every minute of it. I wasn't familiar with the author prior to reading this book but now I plan on reading all of her books. I love how the book covers real life situations we face and she answers the proper etiquette response with laughter and spot on accuracy. It is a great book that you can read all at once or pick up and put down as needed. Fun, interesting and all around a great read!

I am never disappointed when I pick up one of Celia Rivenbark's books. In fact, reading her books has probably kept my head from exploding on several occasions, while dealing with "adult" parents. Very fun, laugh-out-loud books. This one, I am carrying around with me every where I go right now. I have it on the ready, to recommend to people I really like & also to those I'd really like to slap. "Have you seen this book? It's just perfect for you!" Thank you for lowering my blood pressure, and keeping me out of jail, Ms. Rivenbark. Just kidding about the jail part. Well, maybe I'm kidding. :-) The blood pressure thing is true. As effective as petting a dog. This woman is adding years to peoples' lives. May she keep on writing until she just can't write anymore.

It's always nice to read an etiquette book that addresses the things that I see in my everyday life and gives me a laugh about them. I may not be bold enough to take Celia's advice, but I love that she's so direct and humorous about the simple frustrations that we all face.

Great title, hilarious book. The author puts into writing what many of us think, and occasionally are guilty of. The work even includes some helpful advice. An easy and quick read that will make you laugh out loud (as long as you don't mind the sporadic profanity). If the title doesn't offend you, the rest of the book probably won't.

Net Galley Feedback

I grin just thinking about this hilarious author - she is smart and sassy and will make you laugh outloud in the middle of a serious board meeting. But despite her flavorful language, you can tell Celia Rivenbark has a heart of gold. She is compassionate and notices every detail - which is what makes her such a talented writer, as she calls out things that are so funny and endearing that we might be too darn busy to stop and laugh at. Love love love this writer and can't wait to give more friends her books - the cheapest and most effective anti-depressent known to mankind!

Oh my, what can I say. I have three books on Audible by this wonderfully insightful and truly funny woman. You do not need to be from the south to appreciate her wisdom. Her humor is smart and right on the mark, so much it almost catches you off guard when you find yourself laughing - really laughing - out loud. I cannot recommend this enough, as with all her books they are a true pleasure and very hard to put down. Get it for yourself and then share it with someone you love and want to feel goodfrom a good belly laugh. To the author: Thank you Celia. You are such a gift. Ever thought about running for office? :)

Bleh, where do I start here. I was intrigued by the title, but this thing is awful. I found one funny line in the first few pages and after that, I was just slogging through hoping for humor I never found. Give me Miss Manners anytime! She's hilarious. This is dreck.

This author has a twittery way of writing that is very annoying. It's kind of like this: "I only eat Cinnabon once a month! okay, twice. Not really. Well, maybe 3 times a week. Just kidding!" Stop already! She has no idea of how to tell a joke - less is more, lady.

She's also mean spirited in a very non-funny way. There's a lot of cursing and putting people down - I guess she thinks that's funny? She makes repeated jokes about Republicans that reveal her close-mindedness, shallowness, and stupidity. Example: She liked one mommy a lot, but the mommy had the nerve to say Rush Limbaugh had some good ideas. That was it for the author! She packed up her bags and left! As a libertarian, this is a hot button for me, the taking of sides that says "I am right and the other side is wrong." That kind of thinking is exactly why this country is so divided; it's the outlook of people who are small minded, very ignorant, and incapable of working as a team. People of all political persuasions have good ideas, even if you don't agree with all of them. Guess what lady, Rush Limbaugh is a million times funnier than you, at the very least. It always astonishes me when authors are willing to lose half their possible sales by attacking half the country.

She includes CHILDREN in her attacks. Example: She's complaining about bragging moms, and she says "your kid is about as interesting as mildew! move on!" (nearly every answer contains something like "move on! give up! stop it!" she's very bossy and b**chy). I don't like bragging parents either, but I ascribe that to the *parents,* not to the kid. Is it fair to put the kid down because the parents as boors?

But I guess I should have known that a writer who's actually watching Honey Boo Boo would have a very low IQ. I'm not bothering to finish this unfunny mess.

I hoped Ms. Rivenbark had gotten all the nasty political bile out of her system after "Belle Weather" Okay, I get it. She was mad about the outcome of the 2000 presidential election, but an entire book that started with nasty jabs about a former president, moved to snotty comments about his gracious wife, then ultimately degenerated into trashing an entire group of people based solely on their political affiliation was too much. How long could the author hold that grudge? Into another book, apparently.

I approached "Rude Bitches" with trepidation, but was pleasantly surprised to find nothing political other than a couple of humorless, gratuitous jabs at the governor of New Jersey in the first eight chapters. Then, just a few pages into chapter 9, the snotty comments about Republicans, conservative radio show hosts, and GOP congressmen sneaked in again and continued through chapter fifteen despite Ms. Rivenbark's assertion that "Really, it doesn't matter what party anyone belongs to. Mutual respect and consideration are the point." Beg pardon???

The rest of the book contained no more nasty slurs towards Republicans, but little in the way of humor, either.

Some final thoughts for this book and Ms. Rivenbark...
There are questionable people on both sides of the political aisle. You want to talk about the Republican bathroom stall toe-tapping congressman? I'll see that with Democrat Anthony Weiner sending pictures of his favorite body part to unsuspecting young women, and I'll raise you a Democratic President Bill Clinton's sexual assaults of Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Kathleen Willey, Juanita Broaddrick, and a young White House Intern for heaven's sake! The ick factor goes both ways, dear.

And then there's the IRS scandal, the Obamacare roll-out debacle, Obama's assertion that if you like your healthcare, you can keep your healthcare (cough. lie), the Benghazi tragedy and subsequent cover up, Hillary Clinton's secret server and the destruction of said server to hinder any investigation, and on and on since 2009.

Frankly, I'd rather belong to the party of Abraham Lincoln and civil rights legislation than the party of slavery and the KKK.

One last thing...please...Ms. Rivenbark...just stop writing! "Bitter, profane and mean-spirited" is not the new "snarky". You've become, I believe the phrase is, a trifling heifer.

If you're interested in banal and low brow things such as drinking in excess and baking a ham.

This book is so poorly written it should be banned. I have read several of Ms. Rivenbark's books and not until this one did I realize what a small vocabulary she has. I understand that this book falls into the genre (read: trap, catchall for bored housewives) of "Chick Lit" (derived only from the young adult grouping that panders to 12-18 year old girls who hate their parents).

I am not a fun hater, I just think that a 272 page book with 1.5" margins and that has the lines *double spaced* should sell for approximately half of what her book is selling because its only about 160 pages of actual content, if you want to call it that. But fret not, her book will be in the bargain bin at your local Barnes and Noble before this dazzling review is published. Moreover, this "book" is more of a pamphlet, but with less pictures, and more profanity.

I would also like to note the additional use of profanity on the cover. Rivenbark's vocabulary is so small she couldn't find a synonym for "bitches" so that I could read this book in front of my grandmother.

In sum, this book should be pulled from the store and used for kindling in one big bonfire where literate people can go to discuss ideas without fear that we will be called things like "unfun" or "stupid". Further, this book was so boring that I can't even cite specific examples of poor writing. Although, there is a lot of discussion of her various family members and their current march toward death. Her one and only joke in this book involves making a ham, in fact, I believe there is even a recipe for said ham in the book. Its like she woke up one day and was like "s***, I already spent all the money from my last book, I guess I ought to write another one, but I only have one joke". I am here to tell you that that joke is bad.