What Happened After My Boyfriend and I Decided to Go Get Pregnant

This is a very funny book, written by, in this reader's humble opinion, the funniest writer of our time, gay or straight! I started to read this book on the subway, but I had to stop because people were starring at me and asking me why I was laughing so loud and so hysterically! I finished it at home, and only stopped once when I thought that I was going to wet myself from laughing so hard.
This story is sweet, sentimental, funny, and shocking. Anyone who is a fan of Dan Savage's advise column will know what to expect when they pick up this book. I am a huge fan of Dan's column, and I still found myself gasping a few times from what he had written!
Dan Savage is a very lucky man, and I hope that he knows that. Do yourself a favor and buy this book. I promise that you won't regret it and, like me, you'll be thanking Dan for having written it.

I clearly have never laughed out loud with such vigor that I caused people around me to say, "That must be a very entertaining book!" How do you explain to someone who isn't gay and has never read Dan Savage's columns in Out Magazine or "Savage Love" that The Kid (What Happened When My Boyfriend and I Decided to Get Pregnant) is a book not only about the fears and concerns of adoption, the trials and tribulations of parents to be - but that the book is hysterical, witty and extremely entertaining?
Sitting in Big Cup in Chelsea (New York City), no one pays any mind to you if you laugh out loud or spout off evil at the top of your lungs. On a plane from New York to Chicago, the general consensus is: "Oh, he is definitely from New York!" The Kid had me rolling in my seat. And at the same time, the bottom line is that there are not many resources gay couples (or prospective gay paretnts-to-be) can go to who are interested in adopting. The Kid manages to intersperse not only a comical (at times relief) perspective, but an informative and educational view about adopting.

This book is wonderful for anyone doing an adoption. Dan Savage hit the right note of snarky, funny, wise, honest and manages to be touching without being sappy or sentimental. There are some great insights in here for anyone, not just gay folks. I found it insightful how he related to the straight infertile people who were adopting (speaking as a straight, infertile woman who adopted, I shared some of his thoughts.) I laughed out loud many, many times and I also cried. This book is fabulous and I will be reading more Dan Savage.

LOVE Dan Savage. I am a regular listener of his podcast. In this memoir, Dan openly shares his journey of deciding to become a parent through the first year or so of open adoption. I learned so much about the adoption process and now have even more respect for all parties involved. This one's a page turner: be it for the excitement of a family expanding or for Dan's snarky jokes. I will continue to catch up on Dan's anthology in between Tuesday Savage Lovecast launches!

I picked this up and fell in love with it on the first page; it's charming, frank and funny, yet also truly informative, revealing, and dare I say, even suspenseful? Dan explains weighty decisions deftly, and isn't afraid to make the book his and his partner's unique story while demystifying the complexities of adoption for the average reader.
I'm not gay, I won't be adopting anytime soon, and I was hugely entertained anyway - I'd recommend this to anyone looking for a truly good read.

If you are looking for an interesting and very funny book, I would reccommend this. It is interesting to see the process one has to go through in order to adopt a child - gay or straight - and in his inimitable style, Dan Savage makes this an easy book to get through, while giving you many funny anecdotes to laugh at. I love his advice column, and since I am not a religious freak, I am not offended by his homosexuality. I think it is one of the truly progressive things America has to offer, allowing same sex adoption, and this book is an interesting account of it.

I borrowed this book from a friend and couldn't put it down. It was informative and well written and wonderful. I laughed and cried and felt so happy to know everything worked out in the end. I would recommend this book for anyone, especially people going through infertility and adoption. Please do yourself a favor and read it

I got this book for my Anthropology class and even though I already knew who Dan Savage was I thought that this book wasn't going to be that interesting. How wrong I was. I read the entire book in a matter of hours and even though I knew that they where in fact going to get the kid, it didn't stop me from worrying about everything. It's hilarious and really makes some damn good points. Read it, you won't regret it. I haven't, in fact I bought another of Dan's books because of The Kid.

I had the privilege of knowing Terry slightly and meeting Dan Savage once when I lived in Seattle. Years later this book came out, and my wife and I greatly enjoyed it. It is extremely well written, very funny, very touching, and very human. There will be some who can't handle two gay men in a committed, loving relationship, and that's too bad. This book is Exhibit A in gay families being just as human as we in straight families. Same people, same stories, same issues. A fantastic book. Some mature themes: this is not a book for young children, but mid-late teens will greatly benefit from it. A fantastic book for gay teens, as it shows them that there is real life after the potential bigotry hell of high school.

Dan Savage is, as ALWAYS, wonderful to read. It was particularly interesting since we have adopted as a "straight" couple, and although you'd think our stories and the things that go through your head would be vastly different, they're really not!
You ended up believing in the world and the people around you and wishing there were more like Dan in the world.

A great insight into the process of adoption. Savage generously shares his epiphanies, panic attacks and astute observations with the wry wit and critical thinking I have come to expect. As someone who would one day like to adopt, I appreciate the candor and parental acumen of Dan. DJ is fortunate to have such an account of his fathers' deliberate and emotional reach to pull him into their lives.

this book is absolutely a must read... it is a real page-turner and HILARIOUS, you will laugh out loud. it is in some parts political but without being preachy and it features some very surprising and nice sweet parts. also, it is a very interesting look into the hurdles you must jump over to adopt. i would recommend this book to anyone, read it, you will not be sorry!

I asked my public library to buy this book because it should be read by all parents-to-be. Whether or not you would want your child to be raised by a gay couple is beyond the point of this book...this is about what it takes to be a parent, the trials and tribulations that each person goes through if they are pregnant or adopting. Great book and a good buy.

You know how reviewers always write, "I couldn't put it down"? Well, this is one time they're right. I laughed my head off... and shed more than a few tears. This guy is good. Funny as hell. Touching. Brutally honest. Sarcastic, yet sentimental at the same time. I'm the kind of person who should just throw books I buy into a wood chipper. I never finish the damn things. I bought "The Kid" yesterday and finished it within 24 hours. Treat yourself to a wonderful read. Buy this book. I'm still smilin'.

This book had me in stitches all the way through. Yet, however entertaining, the book really presents itself wonderfully showing that same-sex couples can happily go through an adoption process and create a normal, happy family with kids. This book showed me that the changing face of the American family is possible, and ultimately inevitable. Thanks Dan!

I've never read Dan Savage's column (although friends do read it to me from time to time), but I though this book was great just the same. It is sometimes really harsh (leaving you hoping he's joking, but not quite sure). It is also laugh-out-loud funny at times (mostly when Dan is reminiscing). As an Irish Catholic I thought it was dead on. As a straight woman, I though it was eye-opening. Although Dan Savage says gay rights advocates were worried that he was not a good choice to be a poster child for gay adoptions, this book makes you realize that he and his boyfriend are perfect for it. I really enjoyed this book and had a hard time putting it down.

I loved this book. It made me want to go out and open-adopt one of my own. As a single father wanna-be, I enjoyed hearing the details of the process he and his boyfriend went through. It's engaging, funny, and insightful and hit home by revealing to me why I, too, want to have children. My only complaints? He's a bit too down on homosexuals, and his sex comments don't really add much. Otherwise, it's a very enjoyable read. If you're thinking about an open adoption, read this book. If you're a gay couple thinking about adoption, this is your chance to hear about it first-hand. So good, I hope there's a sequel.

Having read Dan Savage's columns a few times, I was prepared for this book to be witty, sarcastic and funny. However, it is so much more. It is honest, touching, and endearing. There were more than a few times where I had tears in my eyes from reading. I was completely engrossed in this book, reading over the course of a few days at every opportunity I had. I highly recommend this one.

I really think this book is so remarkable. I am twenty-five years old and decided to read this book after reading the "A" review in Entertainment Weekly. I was totally impressed with the material, insights, writing style and finished it up in two short extended read days. I really hope Dan writes more on this monumental journey...I wish him, Terry, D.J., Melissa all the best.

I loved this book. It made me want to go out and open-adopt one of my own. As a single father wanna-be, I enjoyed hearing the details of the process he and his boyfriend went through. It's engaging, funny, and insightful and hit home by revealing to me why I, too, want to have children. My only complaints? He's a bit too down on homosexuals, and his sex comments don't really add much. Otherwise, it's a very enjoyable read. If you're thinking about an open adoption, read this book. If you're a gay couple thinking about adoption, this is your chance to hear about it first-hand. So good, I hope there's a sequel.

Having read Dan Savage's columns a few times, I was prepared for this book to be witty, sarcastic and funny. However, it is so much more. It is honest, touching, and endearing. There were more than a few times where I had tears in my eyes from reading. I was completely engrossed in this book, reading over the course of a few days at every opportunity I had. I highly recommend this one.

I really think this book is so remarkable. I am twenty-five years old and decided to read this book after reading the "A" review in Entertainment Weekly. I was totally impressed with the material, insights, writing style and finished it up in two short extended read days. I really hope Dan writes more on this monumental journey...I wish him, Terry, D.J., Melissa all the best.

This was a FABULOUS true story by a FABULOUS author on a FABULOUS subject! There aren't words...this was just a FABULOUS book! Honest, hilarious, so real...Inspiring...I cried, I laughed, I sighed in happiness and melancholy. And its a TRUE STORY! Not fiction! Priceless story! Read it! Now! Don't wait!!!

This is a very special book. The humor cannot be denied - I actually laughed until I was in tears several times. Both here and in his column, Dan Savage uses humor to convey profound wisdom on the human condition. The Kid made me reflect on what it means to be a parent, and on the complexity of familial bonds. Gay or straight, biological or adoptive, all parents can learn something from each other. I wish the intolerant people who oppose gay adoption (usually along with "feminism" and "interracial" relations, by the way) could be forced to read and comprehend this book. But since that will never happen, the rest of us should just keep laughing.

Dan Savage is not the warm-fuzzy type of gay man that I typically think of as wanting to start a family. He's a grungy, urban, sex advice columnist who tells it like it is. He's extremely likable and this book is fabulous. I couldn't put it down.

I read this two weeks ago while in flight on a 747 headed for Chicago and finished it on my return flight home. The author's writing style was analogous to the plane's flying style: smooth, steadily paced, aggressive, and most satisfying. I enjoyed every page and can't wait for his next tome!

Though this is a unique story, (2 gay men adopting an infant) the sensitivity with which the story was written is unbelievable. I would wish that more of the adoptive couples I work with would read this book to understand the emotional impact of adoption. It should be required reading. Unfortunately many will be uncomfortable with the very idea--which is certainly their loss. Dan may be a cynic, but his story rings true and his sense of humor is outstanding. I'll even forgive him for picking on Omaha so much. A beautiful book! Thank you, Dan. (And Terry too.)

Didn't know what to expect, however this book is great reading. Funny, dramatic and witty. A book that paints a good picture of growing up and being gay. It also does a great job of taking everyone through the adoption process

I got this book on a recommendation from a friend. I found it to be a very touching story. Dan Savage doesn't lose any of his wit or sarcasm, although we do see "the softer side of Dan" in this book as he shares his thoughts and feelings of going through the adoption process. Whether your gay or straight, this is a good book for prospective parents, or even people who are just curious about parenting and open adoption.
I found this book to be honest, open, touching, funny and insightful.

Usually I can only say that about whodunits. This book is so engaging. I am already familiar with Dan from his columns and find his frankness and common sense to be a great relief from the usual columnist panderings. In case it matters, I'm a straight female, middle aged and widowed. I haven't always been open minded about homosexuality, but am very glad that I evolved out of that state of ignorance. I hope our country does too. I recommend this book highly.

I brought this book home and had my sister, that was still uneasy about me being gay, read the book. She enjoyed the book and totally changed her view about homosexuality. She now can see how homosexuals are reagular people and she wants me to learn more from Dan Savage. Oh by the way, she is 15 and this is the second English book she ever read. Anyway, buy this book for your family, your friends. It could make them understand what being gay is all about.

Savage's book about when he and his boyfriend decided to adopt is absolutely, one of the funniest books I have read. Savage doesn't hold back on anything, and as the book goes on you begin to appreciate that (although it can be somewhat jolting at times). By the end of the book, I had tears rolling down my face from both laughing and crying. A complete joy of a book. (also, if you liked this book, you might like _Naked_ by David Sedaris).

Even though I don't always agree with Mr. Savage's politics, I bought this book to learn more about gay adoptions. I ended up reading this book in one sitting, and have gone back to it several times since to reread certain parts. The book is informative, thought provoking, interesting, touching, but most important, highly entertaining.

One of the very best books I've read over the past year. Dan Savage has written a very funny memoir of the trials and tribulations of adopting a child. Always witty,and yet also heartwrenching. Savage manages to touch so many issues that confront Gay men and women, not just parenting issues. I'm recommending this title to everyone I know.

Dan Savage wrote an amazing account of the good and bad times of becoming a two-same-sex parent family. As a single gay man who is researching his potential of becoming a single gay dad, I definitely learned something from Dan & his partner's story. Dan's accounts drew a picture of possibility for me in a very funny way. Thanks Dan. If I wasn't sure about having kids before reading your book, I certainly am sure now!

As an adoptive parent, I can say with absolute certainty that this is the very best, most intelligent, realistic, touching, enjoyable, and hilarious book on adoption I have ever read. Anyone who has adopted, is adopted, or is planning to adopt, whether gay, straight, or in between, should read this book. As a matter of fact, anyone with a brain and a heart should read it. Hurry up and write another book, Mr. Savage.

THIS BOOK WAS WRITTEN WITH SUCH FABULOUS HONESTY AND BLUNTNESS ONLY SAVAGE COULD DO. I THINK TOO MANY PEOPLE MIS-INTERPRET HIS HUMOR FOR SERIOUSNESS...IF THERE'S A SENSE OF HUMOR IN THE PERSON EVEN READING THE BOOK. i THINK THE BOOK HITS A LOT OF DIFFERENT ANGLES AND SPOTS USUALLY LEFT UNTOUCHED. AS HE SAYS..."HIS HOBBY" (I BELIEVE)WAS NOT LITERAL! IF YOU REALLY THINK HE'S BEING SERIOUS, THAN WHY DO YOU STILL CONTINUE READING? THIS WAS A STORY I COULDN'T LEAVE ALONE...I WAS DRAWN IN IMMEDIATELY AND SAD WHEN IT WAS OVER. LET GO OF THE 'RELIGIOUS' B.S. AND JUST ADMIT...THE STORY IS GREAT!!!

I laughed, I cried and I laughed some more! I had to pass it on to a few straight people at work because they kept asking what I was reading. They loved it too! I am definetely going to pass this book on to everyone I know, gay and straight. I think my straight friends got a better understanding of the "gay lifestyle" after reading it. Now it is not quite as mysterious to them.
Mom's next on the list.

"He lulled me into the car..."
"obstain"

These are just a few of the errors that jumped out at me from the pages of this poorly-organized stream of consciousness. Savage is good with words, but not good enough to take responsibility for editing his own book, as he seems to have done. This text would have benefitted from a good once-over by someone else. I will definitely "obstain" from reading Savage's other books.

Dan Savage is a smooth and winning writer, but this exploration of his adoption is pretty facile. Savage is frequently glib, and even though this glibness is indeed very funny, it doesn't allow for a lot of thought-provoking material. I also didn't really get a feel for one of the primary players of this story -- Savage's partner Terry. My only impression of Terry is unfavorable -- surely not the picture Savage wanted to present. An easy read, but ultimately a disappointment.

Just read this book and thoroughly enjoyed it. Decided to come on here to see what people thought, and was extatic to see most people enjoyed it. Of course there was the totally predictable religious loon who had to bring his dogmatic Christian idiocy to the table, but for most people, they will simply find a humorous and touching account of adopting a child by one of Americas funniest writers.

A compelling writer who is brutally frank about a number of subjects in this book, including the motive for writing it. Made me laugh out loud, gasp, and almost cry. His dark, queer, Irish way of looking at life made for a terrificly fun read. His and Terry's son is very fortunate to have them for parents. And we are fortunate to have his writing. I thoroughly enjoyed it!

This is on my list of favorites. The writing was superb. Never have I ever read a book with so much honesty on the part of the writer. It's a must read weather your gay or not or are adopting or not. I couldn't put it down.. By the end of the story you feel as if you know each person he has written about....I hope Mr. Savage writes a follow-up book. I would be first in line to buy it.

I stayed up last night until 2AM because i could not put this book down. I got this book because I like Dan Savage's column that appears in the Chicago Reader and a assumed it would be funny, which it was, but i was not ready for how it would have such a strong hold on me. I'm as cynical as Dan, but you have no soul if your not choaked up those last couple of chapter. Thanks Dan.

What a wonderful book. I couldn't stop reading. I had at least one night with too little sleep. Mr. Savage writes as he must speak--graphically and with great honesty. I hope he writes a sequel, I want to hear what happens next with DJ, Terry, Dan, Melissa, Bacchus, Judy, Claudia and all the rest.

So what? Dan Savage is gay and adopting, does he have to write a book about that? Just because he's a writer and has means to find a publisher to pubish his otherwise mediocre book? Don't be mistaken, I'm gay and we're going through the adoption process too but I just think he's being too melodramatic about this. I don't like the way he writes, too lengthy and long-winded. He also tends to go into the smallest details abou their lives. This is an OK book, nothing too exciting, might have more meaning if you are adopting but otehrwise, stay away from it. p/s I like his columns though...

I'm a 28 year old straight guy who was raised by a mother and a father. I would trade places with D.J. in a second!
How much you wanna bet that kid turns out to be the most well-adjusted kid in his school?

A great book....if you have read Savage before, you will recognize his crazy humor. If you are new to Dan, you are in for a treat. I would also reccommend "Savage Love" for hilarious, "pick me up and read me for two minutes OR two hours" reading!

I have always admired Dan Savage for his cynicism and bold truth-telling as a sex-columnist. After reading his story of the adoption of his and Terry's and Melissa's son D.J., I now admire him as a son, a boyfriend, a father, a human.

This book is for anyone that wants to know what "family" means. Dan Savage's refreshing honesty is what really sets this memoir apart; I laughed out loud, cried... and with his final scene of his son's first birthday cried til I couldn't stop, tears of poignant happiness for what family is all about.

This book is both funny and honest, and I must say, I am a sucker for funny and honest. The story here is compelling: outcast gay dads adopt baby from outcast street urchin, and everybody walks away more or less happy. Right?
But this book is also a treatise, promoting a definition of "family" that includes any self-defined combination of adults and children. And yes, I know there are many incompetent straight parents, and many loving gay individuals who could be parents. Oh, and I know that gay men are no more likely than straight men to be pedophiles. But a baby is a baby, and it deserves the best chance it can get.
Adoption agencies bend over backwards to place babies in unstable situations, so as not to offend anybody. Even single people can get a baby if they try hard enough, so gay couples should take it as no compliment that they too can adopt. The attitude is "your choices are as good as my choices", so anything goes. Does anybody notice that this is all about ADULTS demanding what THEY want... not what their kids might NEED???
In one disturbing section, Savage is bemused over a class dealing with the "grief" phase most adoptive couples go through following the realization that they can't have a baby. Since he and his boyfriend knew all along there was no biological route that would bring them children, Savage suggests that a class on grieving is evidence of straight bias.
Sure, us "breeders" take our fertility for granted sometimes. But there's a big difference between an infertile straight couple and an "infertile" gay couple. Savage believes he has the right to swoop into the procreative world -- condescending to attend a few breeder-biased classes -- pick a baby, and swoop back out again. I shudder to think that a man who's "infertile by choice" has the right to adopt a baby that could have gone to a married couple with no other way to reproduce.
And yes, I did say married couple. The permanence thing really does matter when you're talking about raising kids; "committed" relationships just don't do it. Savage's boyfriend sounds like a brat; immature and self-centred. Sure, he loves the baby, but his absorption doesn't extend to the rest of the little family Savage would like to pretend they've just created.
I do know that many straight couples break up and many gay couples stay together forever. It's not PC to point out that the straight couple still has the better odds, but there you go. Sure, 50% of marriages end in divorce, but for first marriages, the odds are more like 67% (down only 3% from the early 1900's). Straight couples stay married. Gay couples rarely stay together. It may be a stereotype, but it's also true.
So what's my final take on this book? Is having "two gay dads" going to harm a baby? Savage certainly sounds like any loving dad. But are gay parents able to give a child everything a straight (married) couple could? He hasn't convinced me, despite some genuinely touching moments. I had to chuckle when, nerves on edge, Savage attacks a cafeteria cashier for selling bagels of many foreign varieties, including bacon bagels, which he ironically notes "observant Jews couldn't even eat." His honesty was touching; we're all a little crazy sometimes.
Full of personal insights like this, Savage's book is an excellent chronicle of the adoption process, both the technicalities and the emotions involved. And he really does prove that the emotions are probably the same the world over, regardless of sexual orientation. Gay couples feel the same things as straight couples when it comes to adoption. But it's not about feelings, and it's not about how he and his boyfriend happen to feel, or what they WANT. The only person who really matters is the baby, and Savage's fluffy "but I waaaaant one!" take on childbearing is, in the end, more than a little tough to swallow.

Its not because he's gay, cause I am as gay as he is, but this guy is a crass, insensitive and rude and I pity the child who has to live under that influence. I can only hope that his lover is a real person, but I kind of doubt it.

Leave it to uber-jerk Dan Savage to give the rest of us homosexuals a black eye once again. The emotionally-arrested biological terrorist (look into his hateful, patently illegal stunt to throw a monkey wrench into a fringe presidential candidate's campaign, all for an article on Salon.com) makes all sorts of simply bone-headed proclamations in this book. It reads as though it wasn't professionally edited, and is overlong by about 30%.
You'll find all sorts of dunderheaded pearls of wisdom in Dan's relentless tale about HIMSELF and HIS OWN wishes. For example, the man who often advocates infidelity in his sex-advice column informs us here that closed adoptions are ALWAYS wrong. That's right -- because he feels his experience was the right way to do things, anyone who wants to keep a kid from knowing about a horrendous situation they were adopted out of is an amoral cretin.
Dan Savage is a judgmental narcissist. I'm a gay guy who's been contemplating adoption with my partner, but I feel dirty for having read this thing. It's crass, self-absorbed and terribly, terribly self-righteous.
By the way, I don't believe for one second that some of those other 1-star reviews are from actual Christians. A la Moby, there is a lot of deluded people out there aping fundies' opinions to make them look bad in forums like this. Sad. But Dan's us-vs-them mentality only reinforces those weirdos' delusions that they're helping their own cause.

I read this book before I ever read his column which I found to be extremely stupid in its quippy sarcastic humor. Basically he makes it sound like he and his boyfriend didnt want to do the stereotypical gay couple things so then decided to adopt. His perception of the process to becoming a parent really sounds like they were getting a new accesory. In his favor, I've seen Savage on Bill Maher and enjoyed him, I just cant stand his column or this stupid book.

It's hard to believe the other reviewers here read the same book that I did! On the VERY FIRST PAGE, Mr. Savage expouses his contention that any time now he be unfaithful to his "partner", the poor unfortunate house husband and Mr. Mom, Terry -- literally, he states "he will have another man's c___k in his mouth". I'm sorry -- in what way does this qualify their relationship as the equivalent of a marriage suitable for the raising of a child? Having read Mr. Savage's column's in the local tabloids and also his book "Slouching Towards Gomorroah", I thought I was pretty hardened to his coarse sexualization of virtually everything, but even I was taken aback by the cruelty of anouncing on the first page of a book about your adopted child that you intend to cheat on your partner -- can you imagine how poor Terry feels about it?

The title is meant to be provocative and offensive to the Moral Majority (which I am decidedly not), but it shows some of the underlying problems here -- Dan and Terry obviously don't "get pregant", that's a biological impossibility. Neither was the birth of their adopted son "planned" . Language is an interesting thing, we can twist it to mean whatever we feel like. Both Dan and Terry are biologically normal, fertile, young men, and either could have easily concieved a biological child with a surrogate or a lesbian partner. They choose instead so-called "Open Adoption", and end up with the child of what they like to call througout the book "a street punk". In fact, the mother of the child is a mentally ill homeless woman, incapable of taking care of herself or even bathing, wearing clean clothes, etc. A lot of flapdoodle in the book is presented as Dan and Terry seem to struggle with the fact that the mom used some alcohol and drugs early in the pregnancy and if this presented a danger of fetal alcohol syndrome -- HELLO! this is the child of a severely mentally ill homeless person! What about hereditary mental illness? Apparently no one knows or cares or even calls this into question. After all, Dan and Terry have achieved the plum prize that every infertile straight couple drool over -- not merely a healthy child, but a BLOND BLUE-EYED BOY. How they gloat over THAT.

Even worse is humorist Savage's inability to talk seriously about the choice to become a parent at all. He insists that he only wants a child to have a "really expensive hobby" and so that he doesn't end up in old age as one of those lonely, ancient gay couples in South Beach surrounded by expensive antiques . (NOTE: if you think that children guarantee you will be treasured and cared for in old age, you have some serious disappointment awaiting you.) In the final analysis, it seems more that Dan Savage particpated in the adoptation because it was partner Terry's heartfelt wish to raise children...and indeed, it appears that Terry is the one staying at home and doing the "hands on" work of parenting.

It is worth knowing that Dan and Terry have relocated to Seattle, from Portland where the adoption was conducted. Could this be because the child's mentally ill, homeless, destitute mother will find it impossible to visit another state 4 times a year (as she is technically entitled)? So much for the lipservice of "open adoption". This is just more self-serving psychobabble and double-speak for "stealing the adoptable children of poor, helpless, homeless women." It doesn't make anything better that the thieves are gay rather than straight.

I went into this book with a generally accepting attitude towards gay adoption, and the feeling that anyone willing to buck a generally unsympathetic system must want very badly to have and raise children, and would therefore make good parents. This book has COMPLETELY changed my mind. I know that there are good, loving gay adoptive parents, but clearly the system is unable to screen out wealthy, manipulative, sleazy individuals like Dan Savage. This is a man who should not be allowed to adopt a pet, let alone a human child. My judgement has nothing to do with his homosexuality, and everything to do with his materialism, selfishness, sleazy morals, inability to comitt to a faithful relationship with a partner, open cruelty, and not least of all, his willingness to exploit both his partner and his adoptive child to make money from a sympathetic gay community.