200 Classic Mistakes and How to Avoid Them--A Misstep-by-Misstep Guide

I considered using this book as a text in a creative writing course, but I thought it wasn't a good choice. The over-the-top attempts at humor weren't very funny, to me, and the tone struck me as condescending. Overall, it missed the mark.

After reading this magnificent book you will be able write the following brilliant prose:

"- Oh no! - commented the powerful and black haired Roman centurion with bulging biceps and incredibly beautiful green eyes that gave life to his chiseled face and holding his Italo-corinthian helmet with silver incrustations making patterns resembling an eagle, that reminds me of a walk I had in an ornithological park with the love of my life that miserably abandoned me - that gladiator slave is going to the arena without regulated gear, he might injure himself!"

O.K. I'm slightly exaggerating here, I know. But that is the point in this funny manual. If we ridicule things using silliness, most would be writers will be aware of the dangers derived from certain writing styles, expressions, anachronisms, etc. And when there's the temptation to write something particularly stupid, you'll remember this book.

This is by far the funniest book I read in the last year, and it`s impressive the amount of information you get after laughing through it. I recommend that you don't read it in a very public place like in public transportation, or you will be possibly classified as clinically insane.

Although the authors point out many ways that will eliminate almost all chances of your book being published, many would be authors will try to overcome this injustice and write them on. And surprisingly some manage to get published! That is why you should read this book, whether you got your work to the press or are simply struggling with editors. It is the responsibility of all authors and would be authors not to contaminate the cultural pool with silliness and stupid plots (unless you're a comedy writer).

As a plus, there is an interesting proposal section on how to present your material to the publishing houses.

How Not To Write a Novel / 9780061862892

If you write, or if you work as an editor, or if you're a reviewer (hobbyist or professional!), or if you simply like to read a lot, I think you will like this book.

"How Not To Write a Novel" is an absolutely hilarious romp through some of the easy and common mistakes to avoid when writing a novel. Each mistake is carefully demonstrated with over-the-top, detailed examples that clearly show why something is a very bad idea. The reader going through this book will be nodding their head at many of the examples, amused to finally have a name to place on a phenomena they've encountered before, and the light tone and humorous example had me laughing so hard I was gasping for breath.

I don't agree with every single piece of advice here (just 95% of it!) but I honestly think that's part of the point. The authors make it very clear in the beginning, and then several times throughout, that these are stylistic choices and that someone, somewhere has managed to break one or more of these rules in a novel and still be successful. Critically acclaimed, even! This, to me, is more like very useful guidelines to help a writer *understand* a rule before they can decide whether or not to try to bend or break it.

I enjoyed this book completely, and it's one that I wanted to turn around and read right over again when I finished. I highly recommend it.

~ Ana Mardoll

How Not to Write a Novel received a lot of notice when it was first published because of its humor, and at times the book is indeed very funny. The authors' made-up examples can be so over-the-top that you can't help laughing, but at other points I found the humor forced and more-than-a-little crude. In fact, one of the things I was most surprised was the profanity -- not just in the examples but in their advice!

Most of the advice will be familiar to anyone who has had a decent writing course or has read other writing manuals: too much exposition slows the book down, the word 'said' is fine in most cases, dialogue should be lifelike without exactly imitating the way people talk, etc. You won't find much new here on that account.

But as a reminder of what bad writing can look like you could hardly do worse than the examples in this book, and for that alone it may be worth the price. Keep it on your desk and after you've written what you consider yo be your masterpiece, page through this book and see if any of your prose would fit in. If it does, rewrite!

For more of my reviews please search for goldenrulecomics on hubpages.com.

This is definitely a chuckle-filled, five-star aid to all writers of fiction.
Recently I've found myself in the odd position of being asked to review novels or manuscripts. In a few instances, the writer has asked for help; and suddenly I find myself in the position of editor.
It's not my purpose to trash a book or tell the writer how to do it. The writer needs to do it his own way. The difficulty for me is always to define the problem, so that the writer can see his own way to fixing it.
Well, "How NOT to Write a Novel" is a great tool for the job. Now I can suggest to the writer, "Buy the book. I can then quote you a page number, and away you go."
For those writers ~ especially indie authors ~ who don't think they need help...
Buy the book. Read the book. Cover to cover it will only take you two evenings, tops, laughing all the way. (If you don't laugh, there's a cup missing out of your cupboard) Then edit your manuscript once again before you commit to publication. The other side of this equation is that you recognise your own faults. That's the toughest part of writing.

Want to write a novel? First you need to learn what to do. For that, I recommend Frey's How to Write a Damn Good Novel. Second, you need to know what can go wrong. That's this book (and others, such as Lukeman's The First Five Pages or Browne & King's Self-Editing for Fiction Writers). Sometime later, you'll be ready for a destructive writers group, where a firm grasp of what NOT to do can help you elucidate the mistakes of your fellow writers. If you stick with it long enough, you'll develop the guts, clarity, and objectivity to spot these same smells in your own writing, and the fortitude to edit them out. Some bad habits die quickly, and others will give you a hell of a fight. But that's just how it goes.

The book's sarcastic tone presents exaggerated examples. That's good to get the point across, but bad when you encounter subtler versions of the same issues.

You're likely to get a chuckle out of character names like "Sergeant Nightsoil" and little sidebars like this one (my favorite, inserted just after an example of writing in which the author didn't seem to know the definitions of many of the words in his own writing):

=====================================================================================
A Test: Do I know this word?
Ask yourself: "Do I know this word?" If the answer is no, then you do not know it.
=====================================================================================

For learning how to write it's actually a 3.5-star book. But any book that makes me nose-launch beverages gets an extra half-star.

My review should be titled "how NOT to leave a review" because I just inadvertently left my review for THIS book on some romance/erotica novel O.o ! This book I grabbed at the library and I'm so glad I happened across it. I love that every (mis)step is demonstrated with a written example. That is brilliant. The humor was great and I had breezed through this book and taken notes in less than a day. I'd like to have a copy for my home library

I think this book is a must-read for many authors going the non-traditional route. Most of this stuff, I already knew not to do--either based on reading or my own research, or based on just plain common sense. But other stuff required a little thought, and I was able to add to my mental rolodex of stuff to avoid doing when I write. So even though the book doesn't pinpoint anything I've done yet, there were a few ideas in there that I appreciate having the opportunity to think about so that I can avoid doing them in the future.

And if nothing else, the book is entertaining. It includes many passages written to exemplify writing no-nos, and some of them are laugh-out-loud funny.

I took away a couple stars because many of the examples seemed repetitive.

Okay, I write non-fiction, but I've sat through enough readings of novels at writer's groups to know that this book is a must-have for such gatherings Because much of fiction nowadays is genre fiction, we get a soupcon of bad writing from romantic, erotic, mystery, adventure, sci-fi, sword-and-sorcery and autobiographical novels among others. The authors must have been editors at some point because they have instinctive feel for what sounds phony or over-the-top. Granted that the authors exaggerate a bit to get their points across, but whenever Melinda tosses her pert blonde hair or two women at lunch mention every little thing that has happened to them (the dreaded shopping list), you know you've seen this scene before in many a novel.

The more general problems of any writing--misplaced tenses, misplaced tone, forgetting to give the reader a clue as to where you are, or conversely, leaving out background altogether are also included. In my book, Crafting the Travel Guidebook, for instance, I have a chapter titled "What Goes In, and What Stays Out". Choosing the right details and throwing out unnecessary or misleading ones lies at the heart of any piece of good writing, fiction or non-fiction. Of course, some of the set up scenes the authors portray as examples of bad fiction are hilarious and read like Saturday Night Live vignettes.

A great gift for a fiction-writing friend who can't understand why 400 publishers have turned down her epic. And if you have a friend who is into travel writing check out my own book.
Crafting the Travel Guidebook: How to Write, Publish & Sell Your Travel Book

We all know that the best way to teach is to engage and entertain with the material - this book does it in spades; I couldn't put it down!

Mittelmark and Newman have produced a book in a format which will be familiar to TV Tropes readers, naming, describing and creating their own hand-crafted, hysterical examples of many of the mistakes that unpublished authors make in spec manuscripts (though I have certainly seen many of these in published books, too!)

If you find yourself haunted by some of the examples (and if you are even slightly honest with yourself, you will) and if you find yourself trying to justify your particular use of them, then they are probably the things you most need to fix!

Laugh out loud, shriek out loud, funny, this book will teach you more than many similar books which take you away from your writing for far longer. Definitely a book every would-be novelist should read.

I don't laugh very often when I'm reading. I'll smile at an amusing passage but I usually don't laugh outright. It takes special talent to do that to me, and this book hit the mark. I will say up front that I'm inclined to enjoy humor about bad writing or badly constructed sentences. I even enjoyed the examples of this in grammar handbooks. The fact that the book is very funny and also extremely helpful at the same time helps a lot.

Even if you're not writing a novel, I think readers in general will find a lot to enjoy in the book. If I had one minor complaint it is that some of the examples are a bit too silly for their own good. Having a ton of mistakes in one paragraph is fine, but when it's coupled with a lot of silly names and silly situations I think the humor is actually lessened. That being said, this is only really noticeable in a couple examples and it doesn't really weaken what the writers are trying to illustrate.

A very well written antiguide to creative writing, complete with examples of what not to do, which oftentimes are hilarious and worth the read. I started the book on the assumption that the "bad examples" were taken from actual faulty manuscripts, but soon realised nobody could write such silly material.

And that's where the problem resides with this otherwise excellent volume: 99% of the things a writer should avoid will be things you never even thought of doing when you write. That said, I don't doubt the authors when they say they came across these things over and over, which should make you feel good about your own writing abilities. That said, the book clearly crosses the line from helpful to entertaining. Not that there's nothing to learn here, but potentially not as much as one might expect (unless you're a really bad writer).

What I was interested in, apart from these infamous mistakes, was the opportunity to get a glimpse at the editor and the publisher's side of things, and in this, this book did not disappoint.

Should you read this as an aspiring author? It won't hurt to do just that, and it'll be a lot of fun in the meantime too.

As some other critics mentioned, it would have been more helpful to deal with somewhat more subtle flaws and how to correct them, although it would have been far less amusing as well.

Two things that may get on your nerves: grammatical feminism and curse words. I personally didn't mind the latter, but the use of "she" to mean a general person always gets to me. The idea that "he" can mean anyone is hardly a statement of superiority for the male sort, and the idea that "she" means specifically only women is hardly an insult to the female sort. Regardless, it just feels out of place and personal and off topic (and certainly a thing to avoid according to this very book). It's a very minor detail, naturally, but just so you know. (And no, I'm not against feminism, I just think this sort of thing doesn't do the cause, or anybody, any good.)

In short, a whole lot of fun and wisdom from the other side of a book deal. If anything it'll reassure you as an aspiring writer when you see how dumb most of these mistakes are.

Recommended if you know what you're getting into.

This was an entertaining read, with just about every mistake a would-be author might make provided in amusing sample form. It's mostly for writers who have not read any other books about writing or who have never visited authors' forums, though; all the howlers described here should (hopefully!) be familiar to anyone who's spent any time learning about writing. Although it's possible a novice novelist might see some of his/her own writing in the examples in this book, it's more like a collection of the very worst writing samples the slush pile has to offer, and thus perhaps something to cheer you with the thought: "Well, at least I'd never write anything like that!"

Mittelmark and Newman write with humor and clarity about common mistakes they've found in reading hundreds of manuscripts. Their ironic theme: How to guarantee that you as a writer will NEVER be published.

Sections of the book include plot, character, style, (syntax, dialogue, perspective and voice) the world of the bad novel, (setting, theme, historical stories and research) special effects and novelty acts, (on sex scenes and jokes NOT to write) and how not to sell a novel (on queries.)

The authors proclaim regular assurances that employing these mistakes will always deny publication to would-be writers, as if that were the desired goal.

The book is a delight to read and helpful indeed.

This is a very funny book, but also tough to read if you've made any of the mistakes they warn about (and who hasn't?). They exaggerate examples of atrocious writing for the sake of humor and to be sure you get the point. Then they attach trenchant comments to each example to further explain just how dreadful it is. I agree with a previous reviewer who said that some examples of good writing would've been helpful as a contrast. The book wouldn't have been as amusing, though.
A few of the writing examples are so sexually graphic and crude as to be offensive (and I'm not a prude). Definitely not for the squeamish or easily offended.
Still, this is one book about fiction writing I won't forget. I suspect that the next time I write some goshawful purple prose, one of the scenes in this book will pop into my head as a warning. That's a good thing.

This book may be one of the best chance purchases I have ever made at a book store. Not only is it jam-packed with really excellent writing advice, it is also laugh-out-loud funny. Examples include references to Underpants Gnomes, Leonard Cohen, and characters who "go through the motions of the plot with the vacancy of bored minimum-wage employees". There were a few examples that could have come straight out of recent popular novels, dozens that I have seen time and again in fanfiction, and even one or two which *cough cough* I recognised from my own writing. We all have room for improvement, so if you are serious about writing fiction, if you enjoy publishing fanfic online, or if you just think bad writing is utterly hilarious, I cannot recommend this book highly enough.

Writing a novel can be tough, draining and can feel like serious business. It's always handy as a new writer to have tips on the do's and don't's of writing. I haven't read too many books on the subject, but enough to know they can get a bit 'samey' after a while.

This book takes a different approach, telling us the best way NOT to get published. It's witty, clever and had me laughing out loud so often, that even if I didn't learn anything from the advice given, I would still say it was worth the read.

Some of the points are obvious, but there are 200 mistakes, so that's going to be the case. I think many of the tips will highlight errors for new writers and do it in a humorous way. It cheers you up when you've spent hours writing and your brain feels a bit fried. We all need a bit of humour at that point.

I've seen some complaints about the vulgarity and I'm sorry, I don't agree. Any "vulgarity" is relevant to the point they're trying to make. I can't understand how people can be that sensitive to it.

For me, this was a really good buy. It's something I would read over and over again for the humour factor if nothing else. I would recommend it to anyone working on their first novel.

How-To books tend to be tedious and boring. When you've been writing for a while, reading a How-To is like taking elementary English 101 all over again--okay, fine, you know a lot of the rules, but now what?

This was a much better approach. The writers poke fun at bad prose with sarcasm and wit. And to be honest, I've seen some people actually write as they do in the "not" examples, so they're not stretching the truth that much, if at all.

There's even an added bonus--How NOT To Write A Query Letter!

There is quite a bit of coarse language, but anyone old enough to form a coherent, legible paragraph is probably old (and hopefully mature) enough to handle it.

This is a fabulous guide to writing with a good, direct backwards approach from the norm. Whether you write short stories or novels, there are good lessons (and several laughs) to take away from this guide. Highly recommended to anyone seriously wanting to improve his or her craft.

Having trouble writing your novel? Are you drowning in rejection notices from agents and publishers? Maybe the book you should have written is How Not to Write a Novel. Too late now. Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman beat you to it.

Endless books and classes tout strategies and exercises to help writers with everything from developing plots to curing writer's block. But these authors and instructors don't realize it can sometimes be just as useful to know what not to do. Mittelmark and Newman have blessed the writing world with just such a tool. Culling tips from their own experiences as both writer and editor, they offer 200 "observations" that, if heeded, will guarantee your manuscript never sees the inside of a bookstore (unless you smuggle it in while browsing for real books).

No element is left out of How Not to Write a Novel. Plot, character, style, setting, and theme all get the unroyal treatment. Although little attention is paid to how writers can remedy the missteps discussed, the authors graciously offer examples (which they seem to have taken great pleasure in writing) to illustrate their points. These excerpts provide humorous running stories throughout the book, and the reader can only hope the authors have greatly exaggerated any material that might actually have crossed their desks.

This book is a must-read for both writers and book editors. Writers may recognize some of their own earnest, yet misguided, attempts at novel writing. Book editors will give a knowing chuckle, while kicking themselves for not writing this book first.

This book was a great laugh.

With clear & easily understood examples the two authors of this book will help you do all you can to write an unpublishable novel. And if that fails, they can also suggest great help in how to write crappy query letters! The latter includes one that was especially funny to me:

"I myself think my writing is most like that of my two greatest influences, H. P. Lovecraft and Jackie Collins..."

To which they reply:

... if you use compound comparisons, try to use writers who can be put together without making anybody's brain hurt.

Now, that is funny.

The laughs aside, the book is serious enough. By showing what is in their estimation (and experience) all-too-frequent mistakes in storywriting, they hope to actually help any aspiring writer to improve--and avoid the traps. Many of which, I am quite sure, one can all too easily fall into. And they cover everything from plot to character, style, setting and action sequences (the latter, btw, is to be understood in a broad sense of the word), so they cover a lot.

Obviously no one will agree with everything that can be found in here, and I myself isn't too keen on the repetition of the writer's main goal being to get the reader to turn the pages. I see their point, of course--and on a commercial level that is indeed good advice--but it is a matter of balance, I am sure. And exactly how to balance will vary, I suspect, often more than you'd expect. Also, their emphasis and recommendations on style, while interesting and obviously with good reminders, was a little too far from the Asianic style that I myself enjoy reading quite much. They don't actually scorn that style, but a wariness was clear. From a commercial standpoint I can understand why, but still... Oh well...

Even so, the authors clearly had fun writing it, while still managing to enlighten. A nice read penned in good spirit and healthy doses of humor.

Highly recommended.

I'm a published novelist who often leads writing workshops. I always provide students with a resource list of the best writing books and "How Not To Write A Novel" will now to be at the top of my list. This book is destined to be a classic like BIRD BY BIRD. Not only is it wickedly funny, it points out some less obvious writing mistakes that even many pros are guilty of making. This book is a MUST HAVE for any writers' library.

This isnt your normal book on writing-it's the exact opposite.
Ive read other books on writing (NEVER read Patricia Gilliam) and this one is the most helpful. Instead of giving you obvious information or telling you how to write "the correct way" the authors admit there is no right way to write a book.
But there are wrong ways. Reading the examples and suggestions,I laughed at their writing-and mine.
This isnt like reading a patricia gilliam book. Its more like your smart and funny friend is helping you write-by showing you other peoples mistakes and how to avoid them.
AWESOME BOOK

This book has been more useful to me than any other I've read on the subject. The authors have clearly outlined common mistakes made by writers who are yet struggling for publication. Best of all, their approach is funny and entertaining (and sometimes a little dirty). Any writer of fiction should own a copy.

To start off with, I am in the target audience of would-be novelists who will probably never be published. (If any agents who are reading this are looking for satirical fantasy, please drop me a line.) I found "How not to Write a Novel" to be a quick and entertaining read, but not one that's going to change my writing style very much. As others have said, the main problem is that the advice in this book is so basic. Certainly everytrhing that the authors write is correct. I cannot find a single thing to quibble with, not even a minor one. However, the advice contained herein won't do much to elevante anyone's skills. If you know somebody whose writing is completely dreadful or childish, this might be the book that could elevate them to mediocrity. It just won't bring them any higher than that.

For example, the section on prose style is littered with stuff that you should be able to figure out for yourself. Don't write too much or too little description. Don't show off your fancy vocabulary. Don't use words if you aren't sure what they mean. Don't be excessively non-linear. All of this is good advice, but we humble unpublished novelists know this stuff already. It would have been more useful if the authors had tackled the problems that really do hinder novelists who are trying hard and working to improve. How to vary your sentence style and avoid a plague of monotonous complex sentences. How to integrate exposition with meaningful action. That sort of thing.

The book is well-organized with chapters addressing every major area that a novelist must work on. Within each chatper there are about ten sections. Each section has an example of awful prose that demonstrates a particular problem, followed by a brief description of what the problem is and how to address it. I will warn you, however, that each section is about a page total, including both the excerpt and the discussion. Hence there's very little depth. Again, this book won't do much to improve your prose because there's just not enough discussion of how to lift yourself up and out of the mire.

And then there's humor. The authors are very impressed with their own cleverness. Should they be? I will acknowledge that some of the examples of awful prose they write are hilarious. I'm talking, fall-on-the-floor, laugh-out-loud funny here. Most are not. Likewise their discussions and comments are sometimes pithy ("Giving your reader half a sex scene is like giving them half a kitten"), but mostly not. So don't buy this book for the comedy.

As an aspiring writer, I was curious if my work would be considered good enough to be published. Then I stumbled across this book. The title itself intrigued me enough to read it & was thoroughly educated & entertained at the same time. As others have said, this is for a mature audience since there is a section about how not to write romance scenes (which were absolutely hilarious). As I have entered the writing community & have met other aspiring writers, my first recommendation is to read this book several times. I've read it 3 times myself & hope now, based on the changes I've made, I can add my name to the rank of the few, the proud, the published...

My wife bought me this book. Why, I don't know, as my novel is perfect in every respect (apart from being published by a pukah publishing house).

The authors list general rules of what not to do (apart, of course, when it's OK to do them), and illustrate them with witty and sometimes laugh-out-loud examples of what they mean. The rebel in me then just had to write a couple of stories that deliberately broke the rules legitimately, but that's the beauty of the English language.

I do a lot of peer reviews of other amateur writers. Some of them desperately need this book. I just hope this review is written in an acceptable format.

There are plenty of books out there that will tell you all the things you *should* do to produce a compelling novel. But what you really need is one that shows you all the things you *shouldn't* do--so that you can avoid those errors. This is the guide that does that. And as such, it's indispensable.

If you're looking to improve your writing, look no further. This book is chock full of great advice. Hey I should know, it really helped improve my writing. The authors use comedy to crack you up and take notice of their wise words. Man it helped me, and as a debut novelist I recommend it to every writer out there. Also please check out the website/blog of my upcoming novel THE LEOPARD VANGUARD. [...]

This is a book that can be appreciated by writer and reader alike. The examples are hysterical. Much of it is common sense, still to see all the cliches and missteps compiled in one place is eye opening. Reminds you that you can learn just as much from something done poorly as something done right.

The Ministry of Novels must make this book standard issue for all wannabe novelists. Think of the reprieved trees, not to mention time and temper of agents and publishers.
The best ideas are often the simplest, like Sooty, twitter or libraries. Setting out the commonest writing mistakes and telling the wannabe novelist what to do about them is one of those that makes us slap our heads and say 'now why didn't I think of that?'
Feeling smug, I read the book just on the unlikely chance that it could find any fault with my own writing. Dammit, it did. Three faults. I said three faults, one being that my characters sometimes repeat themselves. Not any more; if my readers don't pick up on it first time, that's their lookout.
My favourite theme is the assumption by wannabes that they have some insight nobody before them has spotted. Outside of changes to the world such as mobile phones or the iron curtain falling down, they are wrong. Someone has been there first, so the wannabes had better accept it. Don't reinvent the wheel, accept that it exists already and impress us by spinning it in a fresh direction.
May I suggest you add to your final chapter for the next edition? How to annoy your publisher even more. I still cringe at the first MS I sent out to the world. It had three spelling mistakes on the first page. The shame. I fell for the oldest gag of all; that my work was so brilliant I would be forgiven trifling errors and poor presentation. My brilliance remained undiscovered and I doubt any publisher read to the bottom of the first page. I even printed it in Times New Roman. You write books for children? Send your MS in Comic Sans MS. Genuine coffee stains add authenticity, and don't forget to tell the publisher to hurry up as you have other publishers waving their chequebooks at you. Never fails.
One slight hiccup - they include the 'F' word three times to no useful purpose. Still, no book is perfect.
Simple advice to all wannabe novelists, and quite a few published ones too - read this book.

Youth Market: Chickens or Television - Which Comes First? (Spawater Chronicles I) Stop the cruelty

This book is very smartly written and also hysterical (I can hardly get these words out because I am so self-conscious of my sentences after reading it).

Few How To books are in themselves an enjoyable read, but this one is more entertaining than most humor fiction or non-fiction.

The authors know what they're talking about and, more importantly, SHOW they know what they're talking about by illustrating both how you shouldn't write and how you should.

Their website is a riot too.

Howard is a friend, but he has also helped me with my last two books. He and his co-author are as funny in person as they are in this book. It always kills me how horribly BORING how-to books about writing are. Give me a break, of all "how-to" books that shouldn't be painful to get through, books about how to write definitely should not be, right? So if you are looking for this kind of book, this is the one to get. (Now I have to worry that Howard is going to email about how badly written my review of his book was.)

I've been put off writing so often by how-to books, because I'm either not sure whether I agree with the author or I'm completely intimidated by their directives.

I love this book because I have a suspicion that the authors at some point in their lives made many of the mistakes they write about -- or were tempted to. Mostly, though, I think that, under the humor, they are fiercely dedicated to the art and craft of writing and clarity. They've been writing long enough to know. And the book is really funny!

I bought this book to help me re-read some of my writing with a more critical eye. It has a sarcastic tone overall, so it is a bit crushing to read, especially if you have a tendency to make those mistakes they so clearly illustrate. Each point is its own chapter, so they really isolate each issue clearly. Once I got through it, I think it helped me become much more aware of when I was making those mistakes. Not for those with less resilient sensibilites...reality is harsh in this book!

This book is nice for those who like to have a good laugh over some of the mistakes the probably made themselves when writing a novel. Even so, a lot of popular novels feature a large amount of the so-called blunders listed in this book and aren't any less because of them. Also, writers who desperately try to avoid these mistakes will probably come up with some very bland material. In the end good writing does not come from trying to avoid mistakes or following some general guidelines, but from the talent of getting feelings across by means of words. And this is something you can only learn by writing a lot--if it can be truly learned at all.

This book gave me writers block. I'm not kidding. It made me feel negative and not because I'm committing the errors in the guide. I have writers block so bad I can't add anything else to this post.

If your a writer and you haven't read this, you really, really should. I encounter many of the mistakes mentioned in this book over and over again while reading self-pub authors. Learn your craft. Read this book before you release another story. A few of the reviews said the examples were over the top. The sad truth, many writers submit and self-publish work that reads just as outlandish as the examples in the book. It's not exaggeration, it's the truth. I review self-pub books and edit anthologies and I see it all the time. If your not sure about your writing or your constantly getting rejections or bad reviews, red this book. You may just find your problem and finally be able to fix it and become a better writer.

I enjoyed reading much of this book. It's very funny in parts. But it's not a book that I would recommend to students. For two reasons: (1) The language is on occasion too rough for the classroom; (2) It tends to put down what it should be upholding, namely a writer's desire to express his own vision in his own words as forcefully as possible. The authors of this handbook seem more interested in expressing their own vision. I can cite many authors who indulged in 20 or more of these classic writing "mistakes" but sold books by the millions anyway. And if the Bible can be regarded as a novel, it most certainly fails quite a few tests too! My own "popular" novels like Merryll Manning: The Health Farm Murders which have attracted laudatory reviews and have run through several editions, also seemingly merit the authors' disapproval. On the other hand, I would certainly agree with at least half of the mistakes the authors identify.

This book has everything you need to know about writing the worst possible novel in existence. While it's more of a guide to writing something publishable than actually writing in general, it's very funny, very simple to understand, and backs up all its points with examples and explanations. Highly recommended for anyone looking to become a real author.

O.K., we could all benefit from this book, and there are many great tips here. But 2/3 the way through, I realized that the authors are making some of the mistakes they warn against. When they draft a passage to describe, for example, how tedious it is to read about what every character has ordered at dinner, they invade the prose with so many ridiculous names, nonsequitors, etc., that I was asking myself -- what mistake were they trying to point out again?

And unfortunately, every time they pointed out a problem, an author, either one I like very much, or don't like at all, comes to mind. Interior monologue? Lack of scenes and too much In the Narrator's Head? Ever heard of a guy called Henry James? Kingsley Amis? Martin Amis? Too much food, ever heard of the mega million seller Maeve Binchey? The authors praise James Bond in the same breath that they warn against super-heroics.

I think the first two chapters here, dealing with set-up, offer the most useful advice. After that, their prose, over-loaded with jokes, gets wearisome and seems mean-spirited. The style of the book was so unpleasant, it took me two months' to get through -- hardly a page-turner. It would have served them better to intersperce, between their Bad Writing Parodies, examples of a Good, Published Writer carrying off with aplomb whatever technique they've highlighted in the parody. It takes no great skill to slam bad writing. As both are well published writers, I'm wondering why they didn't use examples of their own work?

This is geared towards genre writers, almost any literary novel out there breaks a good half of these rules, so if you're even vaguely literary, you're going to have to filter out a lot of this advice.

I'm a reader who doesn't like action, suspense, too much "snappy" dialogue, and welcomes interior life and philosophical tangents -- which the authors wrongly declare are a bore in literature and in life, using the cocktail party conversation as an example. O.K., I'm someone who gets bored when people tell me long detailed action stories at a party, but I'm often interested in hearing a stranger's inner thoughts, what makes them tick.

I'd say, take this with a grain of salt. They make declarations about what's good writing -- a page turner -- which are completely wrong for me. I like a book that makes me think, so I have to put it down for a few minutes,look out the train window and digest before I move on. Some of us read to learn something and deepen our life experience. This is for readers and writers whose goal is diversion, and nothing else.

The book is well-written, but it's aimed at terrible writers. Someone who commits the errors described in this book while trying to write and sell a novel is like someone who doesn't know that three strikes is an out trying out for a professional baseball team. There is nothing here of use to a good writer.

I've read a lot of writing guides over the years and have this book in hard copy from a bookstore (you remember those things). It is the only how to guide that I have read cover to cover more than once and each time I find some new nugget of humour buried in its wonderful advice.

This book was highly amusing for the first few chapters, but then I began to find the over-the-top examples tiresome. The authors seem to be unable to get out of their own way (because they found themselves so hilarious?) and just write, giving the readers usefuls tips and guidelines. I don't need to have my hand held, but I don't need condescension either, and this book offered it with every turn of the page.

How NOT to Write a Novel: 200 Mistakes to avoid at All Costs if You Ever Want to Get Published Paperback – 29 Jan 2009
by Howard Mittelmark (Author), Sandra Newman (Author)

I had high hopes for this book because this is a great title, and the write-up and recommendations. 'Heavens - what a joy!' Sunday Times. were all great, but on reading the book I was extremely disappointed.

The basic structure is good covering Plot, Character, Style part 1 & 2, Worldbuilding and special effects. So I opened up the first chapter on Plot Beginnings. The authors then set out to illustrate how not to begin a novel. For instance: The Waiting Room, where the story is too long delayed. There then follows a section of a fictional novel where the opening involved a long description of a train journey before the action begins. The chapter then proceeds to take the same approach for other faults such as The Long Runway, The Lost Sock, The vacation Slide Show. In each case, the author explains why this is the wrong approach and then illustrates the fault with a fictional opening.
Each fault is dealt with in the same way, there appears to be no evidence that any author actually makes these faults, and unlike most 'self-help' book there is no checklist of errors, or positive list of what to do.

And so it continues, chapter after chapter of mistakes each one 'lovingly' illustrated by fictional excerpts. After about 15 chapters I was really none the wiser, the authors continued to list things that could go wrong.No checklists. No summaries. No 'how - to' advice.

This is not really a 'guide book' for writers, but a 'comic book' of failed writing

The book is an exhaustive catalogue of mistakes to be avoided when writing fiction. While it doesn't offer many surprises, it is often instructive and humorous.

The main letdowns are the examples and the vulgarity. The examples are overwrought to the point where reading them becomes tedious, to say the least. The vulgarity is loutish and base. Period. It often seems to be used only for its own sake. Foul language and improprieties serve only to cheapen the book, as they will any other work, since they require zero writing talent. At times this book will remind you of a movie which had potential but was spoiled by needless crudity.

Certainly NOT appropriate for young people who would otherwise profit from a book like this.

This book's valuable information is conveyed in the language of smart-mouthed jokes, not nearly as witty as the authors seem to think. Both the "bad examples" and the corrective information are so presented. Profanities are used -- sparsely, but enough to render the book inappropriate for classroom use. Too bad, because it's an encyclopedia of the 200 most common mistakes and cliches that tempt beginning fiction writers. A more accurate title would be "How Not to Write Fiction," because problems specific to novel-writing, as opposed to short-story writing, are not addressed.