Committed: A Love Story

I adore Eat, Pray, Love for a variety of reasons. This book however, is not Eat, Pray, Love. Thankfully, it doesn't pretend to be. My advice: don't read "Committed" if you are hoping to lose yourself in a compelling story, because you might get bored. Read it if you are interested in learning about marriage - what it is and what it is not, why it sometimes works and why it sometimes doesn't - and are prepared to examine your own assumptions about this beautiful yet fraught concept.

Some readers may not consider this work an adequate sequel to EPL for stylistic reasons - the storyline is simpler, the tone more somber, and the laughs rarer. But I'm not one of them. For me (and I can only speak for myself), EPL was a pleasure to read because it helped me learn more about myself and my relationship to relationships, which is precisely what "Committed" succeeds at doing. What could be more useful than a book that celebrates not only marriage, but the self inquiry and interpersonal work required to sustain one? For that matter, what could be more romantic?

I'm a big fan of Elizabeth Gilbert and loved Eat, Pray, Love as well as her talk on creativity at the TED conference circulating on YouTube. Her blend of factual information, anecdote and creative interpretation is illuminating and entertaining. And Committed has its share of humor and aha! moments.

In her preface to Committed, Gilbert says she originally wrote a 500-page version of this book, then discarded it. She implies it was too pedantic, so the second time she wrote it imagining only an audience of close women friends. I believe this gives the book a talky, chatty quality that does not translate well to the written page. There are too many "anyways", redundancies and extraneous phrases. If she were speaking this text to us, we could experience her gestures and facial expressions, inflection and dramatic pauses; the audiovisuals of conversation would keep us interested. But on the two-dimensional page, I found myself growing impatient and wishing she had thinned the verbiage by 30 per cent.

I also felt uncomfortable with the amount of very personal information she revealed about her husband and her parents. A confessional approach to one's own life by a memoirist is one thing; to expose and discuss other peoples' intimate feelings and issues seems exploitative.

Another problem was the lack of sourcing for her valuable factual data, particularly, her fascinating material on the evolution of marriage. This information could be very useful to call out the "ancient tradition" excuse for social repression. But without sources, it's much less useful. She did list about 20 authors in one sentence in her acknowledgements but this doesn't help much. Gilbert has one explanatory footnote in her book and says with seeming pride that it is "the only footnote in the book". Again, I think she went overboard on veering away from pedantry.

The idea for this book and much of its information is interesting and valuable. I wish Gilbert had imagined a wider, less personally familiar audience so that her writing might have been more pithy and vivid. I believe this book packed a punch but it became buried and invisible in the rambling, chatty delivery.

I went into reading the book knowing that you can't duplicate the sucess of EPL, but all the things that I thought were Elizabeth's voice and humor was missing. It was flat out boring and one of the worst books I have ever picked up. I forced myself to finish it because I kept hoping for something....a story, some new people she met, her travels and it never happened. I hope she does better with the next one.

It might seem strange to read a book on marriage from a woman who has now divorced the man she so lovingly talked about in this memoir, but I actually very much enjoyed it. Not only am I myself getting married soon, and thus am feeling the need to explore this topic, but I found her stories lovely. My biggest insight from the book was the fact that we have traded to have the choice to marry for love and with that comes the possibility of divorce (because, as she says in the book, love can be impermanent). When traditional Western marriages were based on family status or community or finances, it was easy for couples not to divorce because love simply didn’t factor into it. But these days, we demand more of our lives and more of our lovers (such as a true partnership), and with that must come the acceptance that things can change over time. I actually found this a refreshing, beautiful thought about holding on to love while we have it… though, hopefully, we will have it for a lifetime.

This book is fascinating as it explores marriage and commitment through history and other cultures. Liz does this as she explores whether or not things would work with her second husband. I get that they were in a bind, things changed, but really, she wasn't that sure about it. She felt the need to do it anyway, much like I did in my first marriage. She then committed to her soulmate after this marriage as I did as well. I say this with love: I hope she knows she doesn't owe us a perfect ending. I am proud of her for living her life. This research is really great, but people quote her as they settle for less than true love. Hell, I did.

The most interesting part of the Ms. Gilbert's book is her own personal story, the story of how her partner Felipe was barred from entering the United States by DHS officials, and how the most effective way for both the author and her lover to be together in the States was to get married. Both scarred from prior divorces, official, legal marriage was the last thing on their mind when wanting to start their lives together. But in their desire to be physically together, Ms. Gilbert sets out to study and grow comfortable with the idea of the institution of marriage as they both travel the world together waiting for Felipe's immigration paperwork to be cleared. This book contains history and the evolution of marriage through the centuries, but such information is included largely to provide context around the author's personal views and narrative. She does a solid job of pointing out the societal norms and necessity of marriage and how studies have shown marriage impacts men and women differently (in short, marriage is good for men and bad for women). I found her thoughtful approach to marriage engaging and insightful, even if I don't subscribe to every idea she put forth in the book. As a married man of twelve years, I can attest that, while challenging, marriage can be fulfilling, helpful, motivating and wonderful. I hope Ms. Gilbert has found all the things I have in my marriage with her Felipe.

In Committed, Elizabeth Gilbert explores her feelings about marriage after the Department of Homeland Security refuses to let her Brazilian boyfriend back into the United States – unless they get married. As a survivor of divorce who has vowed never to wed again, Gilbert realizes she has to confront the subject of marriage head-on and come to terms with her fear and skepticism.

She uses the ensuing ten months as an opportunity to explore some cultural and historical aspects of marriage. Her findings, interwoven with stories from her own family’s history, make for an engaging read. I heard Gilbert discuss the book and its themes at an appearance in Kansas City, and she was lovely – very funny and relatable. I loved her approach to this book and her overall tone. Not once did I feel a what’s-in-it-for-me vibe as some other reviewers have noted. Rather, Gilbert is forthcoming about her flaws and her culpability in the demise of her first marriage and other earlier relationships. And if she comes off as critical of the institution of marriage for historically suppressing the career aspirations and self-expression of women – well, that’s just reality.

My only complaint about the book is that it is poorly edited. Someone really should have removed Gilbert’s numerous anyhows and other colloquialisms. I know she was going for a conversational tone, but sometimes it’s too much, especially her habit of apologizing for or qualifying many of her statements. Otherwise, Gilbert is a gifted writer, and I intend to seek out some of her fiction.

Of course after writing this book, and Eat Prey Love, she figured out that she is actually ... a lesbian...and divorced the guy. I like her and her writing, but consider the source before taking any advice or messages to heart. I consider it engaging fiction, which is clearly what it is.

In "Committed: A Love Story," Elizabeth Gilbert explores the history and cultural practices of matrimony. In the past, women got married because they had to, and even though the marriage was not borne of intense, soul-crushing love, marriages did work out for the most part because there was no alternative to it not working out, and because -- and this is something that must be so abstract and alien to Gilbert -- living for others makes us happy. This was the way that Gilbert's grandmother and mother lived their lives, and the way countless of women in impoverished nations continue to live theirs -- and it is a way that an already divorced Gilbert cannot imagine living hers. That is, until she is forced to marry her Brazilian lover in order to be with him.

Gilbert is an incredibly self-indulgent and self-involved writer who happens to be the voice of her generation of middle-aged, successful, type A, self-involved women who want it all, and many of whom already have it all. That's why Gilbert can be so exhausting to read. First of all, the book is much too long -- especially for a book that hardly says anything at all. Second of all, the book is entirely about Gilbert, and there's so little self-reflection and self-introspection that it's no fun to read at all.

Sorry Ms Gilbert. I loved Last American Man which I read on a fluke some year ago. More recently I listened to Eat Pray Love and thought it was brilliant. So ofcourse I would want to hear your follow up book to Eat Pray Love. Who wouldn't? What a mess! As Publishers Weekly stated, there was no story. Mostly just a lot of rambling about marriage and relationships in different cultures. Really tedious stuff. Now and then she would give some interesting details about her travels in Asia and the different people she met there. That was the only interesting relief to an otherwise very dull book. I realize that Ms Gilbert felt pressure to provide a follow up to her brilliant Eat Pray Love, but she would have been better to quit while she was ahead. I still love her as an author, but this one was a big boo boo!

I have read several of Elizabeth Gilbert's books and feel she is a witty, intelligent and compassionate author. She was afraid to marry a second time due to a heart-wrenching divorce from her first husband. Since the only way her Brazilian-born lover, Felipe, could stay in the United States was by marrying her, she spent 10 months researching the history of marriage hoping to make peace with it. She encountered some interesting people along her way to find out as much as possible before marrying Felipe.

After doing so much research, the author does a nice job of telling us all we would ever need to know regarding the institution of marriage. It's all done in a way that makes this book funny, informative, and interesting. It's well worth reading even if you are already happily married.

I really enjoyed this book! It is a great story, conversation, exploration and sharing of Liz Gilbert's life, learnings and processing about her relationship as it relates to marriage. It would not hurt for all to read this book... what ever sex or gender... married or not.

I appreciate her self honesty and humbleness about learning about relationships. She has a gift of really bringing people along with her discoveries without defensiveness... hers or the readers. I totally know what I mean.... I hope that expresses it well.

Her discussion on the history of marriage is also well thought out. Again... good for ALL to read and process.

A great... KIND OF sequel to Eat Pray Love... but very different and I don't think you need to read EPL to love and appreciate this book.

Elizabeth Gilbert... if I had to choose 5 "famous people" to be my friend or neighbors. She would solidly be at the top of the list!

I admire Ms Gilbert's approach to the subject. This book is a carefully considered confessional-

And I guess I should stop right there: anyone who saw 'Eat, Love, Pray' as 'self-indulgent' or 'crap on every level', keep moving. There's really nothing for you here.

So this book is about the author approaching her second marriage, and while she does, while she's mired in all the post-9/11 complications of marrying a 'foreigner', she provides some pretty fascinating insight into the history of marriage, how it's perceived in various parts of the world, while throwing into the mix the specifics of her own experiences (and those of her parents, specifically). The result is an satisfying read...for those open to the examination. (And I do have to add that if you like her writing style...because she's written for so many men's magazines, I suppose you could put it under that banner...then the subject matter will be received well by you. While if you're not a fan of how she writes, then once again, keep moving.)

I was especially touched by how she was able to relate some of the more personal elements of her investigation. For example, this:

"She was happy because she had a partner, and because they were building something together, and because she believed deeply in what they were building and because it amazed her to be included in such an undertaking."

This is not a groundbreaking book. It is, in its own way, a 'beach book'; not too much substance, not too much fluff...but stirring enough to have you gazing out at the water, having been sent off on your own examinations.

I enjoyed most of this book especially those parts in which Gilbert presents historical information and sociological insight into the institution of marriage. Gilbert is a very good writer and storyteller and the story of her own marriage story is for the most part interesting. Her summaries of researches taught me much about marriage.
She blends in a lot of personal and family information and does this usually in a readable way.
Her description of her relationship with Felipe the man she is to marry sounds honest and genuine.
Gilbert is a very smart woman and she knows also how to entertain.
I appreciated her quoting opinions on marriage and on her own decision not to have children which were critical of herself. Her open- mindedness and readiness to seek the truth wherever it can be found is refreshing.
Among the best parts of the book for me were her description of the way Marriage has changed historically, and how it has in the West become a matter of personal choice and satisfaction rather than communal benefit. She writes about the way stable marriages are made, and how Divorce comes often from friendship that turns to Intimacy which replaces the Intimacy there was between the spouses. She writes about research which shows that Marriage is in terms of longevity, health, happiness more beneficial to Men than to Women. She writes about the Auntie factor in which ten percent of women as minimum in all societies do not have children, and how they often have other useful social functions. It seems to she is nonetheless most tenuous when she writes about her own decision to not have children. She does not directly connect this with the sacrifices she perceived her own mother and grandmother made in their working lives to do this.
The book has a respectful, modest good- spirited tone and is strong in wit.
A very good book.

It has to be so very hard for an author who writes such a publishing phenomenon has "Eat, Pray, Love" to publish that next book. The expectations of the reading public are huge and the desire to read another book along the same vein is enormous. If the reader is expecting to pick up this new book by Elizabeth Gilbert and get, EPL 2, they will be disappointed. The author has changed and evolved as a person and she can't go back and duplicate what was already done. In this new book, she explores her life after the time period of EPL and her reaction to the institution of marriage. This subject becomes of utmost importance to her since she wants to build a life with the Brazilian she met in Bali and he can no longer enter the United States without being married to her (too many border crossings and time in the US without a legal connection).

I thought EPL was great and I think this new work is also great (different but great). Ms. Gilbert's solution for trying to get comfortable with the institution of marriage is to try to understand it through doing as much research as she possibly can while moving from country to country waiting for the US officials to clear her fiancé to enter the country and for them to actually get married. It is obvious the author is a thinker and an analyzer. She has a deep-seeded skepticism regarding marriage after an ugly divorce and she appears to take the philosophy that understanding something makes you fear it less. She spends the length of the book exploring how marriage has evolved over time and over various cultures - it used to be that people didn't get married until the female was pregnant since why get married if you aren't going to be able to produce children. I particularly enjoyed the discussion about the Western view of marriage (the spouse completes you and is your soul mate) versus other cultures where the spouses have a role but aren't expected to meet every need. The author spends a fair amount of time examining the Christian church's evolving stance on marriage and I found it highly informative and interesting. The discussion may be offensive to some since it does expose how the church has changed its view drastically and dispels the notion that the clergy has always supported the institution of marriage.

I found the book to be interesting more scholarly than EPL. While Ms. Gilbert spends time sharing her philosophy about marriage and her deeply personal thoughts on the topic, this is only one part of the book. As I said at the top of the review - let this book stand on its own and you probably will enjoy it if you like this type of writing. If you expect another book just like EPL, you will be disappointed.

I really enjoyed Eat, Pray, Love and in this follow up book Gilbert once again manages to take us on a journey through uncharted waters. This time though, instead of roaming through Rome and travelling across Tibet (why yes, I do amuse myself...) she takes us into the mystical and complicated land of marriage. I have never really thought that much (OK, at all) about the history of marriage and what should go into it. While I know relationships require work, Gilbert takes it to a whole new level: relationships that require research. I loved reading through her emotional journey. She doesn't hold back and really lets us see how every aspect of this very tricky time affected her and her decisions. In Eat, Pray, Love we see Gilbert piecing herself back together after a brutal divorce (as most seem to be), here I consider it more of a deconstruction of self and the actual concept of marriage.

Gilbert easily switches between past and present, interspersing her experiences with fact. I loved all the arguments and information we get about marriage, there was so much I didn't know before! As a researcher and obsessive investigator at heart I loved all the random tidbits of information that I probably wouldn't have otherwise discovered. This book is written like she was telling it to a friend and I certainly felt as though I was coming back for another chat. The language was plain, clear and touching. The meaning was profound and interesting. The characters (Gilbert and her other) expressed as truly as possible.

All in all this was a pretty good book, and while I probably won't be rereading it again in the near future, it is definitely one I will keep on my shelf to flip through again. I am happy to recommend this book to anyone who has the tendency to research the bejeezes out of anything (like me!) and loves to gather up random information about often bypassed topics.

[...]

(Audio CD version) EG has a fantastic reading voice. This was so much more interesting than Eat Pray Love. I am a historian by avocation and was fully immersed in the sociological discussions of marriage.

I went into reading the book knowing that you can't duplicate the sucess of EPL, but all the things that I thought were Elizabeth's voice and humor was missing. It was flat out boring and one of the worst books I have ever picked up. I forced myself to finish it because I kept hoping for something....a story, some new people she met, her travels and it never happened. I hope she does better with the next one.

It might seem strange to read a book on marriage from a woman who has now divorced the man she so lovingly talked about in this memoir, but I actually very much enjoyed it. Not only am I myself getting married soon, and thus am feeling the need to explore this topic, but I found her stories lovely. My biggest insight from the book was the fact that we have traded to have the choice to marry for love and with that comes the possibility of divorce (because, as she says in the book, love can be impermanent). When traditional Western marriages were based on family status or community or finances, it was easy for couples not to divorce because love simply didn’t factor into it. But these days, we demand more of our lives and more of our lovers (such as a true partnership), and with that must come the acceptance that things can change over time. I actually found this a refreshing, beautiful thought about holding on to love while we have it… though, hopefully, we will have it for a lifetime.

This book is fascinating as it explores marriage and commitment through history and other cultures. Liz does this as she explores whether or not things would work with her second husband. I get that they were in a bind, things changed, but really, she wasn't that sure about it. She felt the need to do it anyway, much like I did in my first marriage. She then committed to her soulmate after this marriage as I did as well. I say this with love: I hope she knows she doesn't owe us a perfect ending. I am proud of her for living her life. This research is really great, but people quote her as they settle for less than true love. Hell, I did.

The most interesting part of the Ms. Gilbert's book is her own personal story, the story of how her partner Felipe was barred from entering the United States by DHS officials, and how the most effective way for both the author and her lover to be together in the States was to get married. Both scarred from prior divorces, official, legal marriage was the last thing on their mind when wanting to start their lives together. But in their desire to be physically together, Ms. Gilbert sets out to study and grow comfortable with the idea of the institution of marriage as they both travel the world together waiting for Felipe's immigration paperwork to be cleared. This book contains history and the evolution of marriage through the centuries, but such information is included largely to provide context around the author's personal views and narrative. She does a solid job of pointing out the societal norms and necessity of marriage and how studies have shown marriage impacts men and women differently (in short, marriage is good for men and bad for women). I found her thoughtful approach to marriage engaging and insightful, even if I don't subscribe to every idea she put forth in the book. As a married man of twelve years, I can attest that, while challenging, marriage can be fulfilling, helpful, motivating and wonderful. I hope Ms. Gilbert has found all the things I have in my marriage with her Felipe.

In Committed, Elizabeth Gilbert explores her feelings about marriage after the Department of Homeland Security refuses to let her Brazilian boyfriend back into the United States – unless they get married. As a survivor of divorce who has vowed never to wed again, Gilbert realizes she has to confront the subject of marriage head-on and come to terms with her fear and skepticism.

She uses the ensuing ten months as an opportunity to explore some cultural and historical aspects of marriage. Her findings, interwoven with stories from her own family’s history, make for an engaging read. I heard Gilbert discuss the book and its themes at an appearance in Kansas City, and she was lovely – very funny and relatable. I loved her approach to this book and her overall tone. Not once did I feel a what’s-in-it-for-me vibe as some other reviewers have noted. Rather, Gilbert is forthcoming about her flaws and her culpability in the demise of her first marriage and other earlier relationships. And if she comes off as critical of the institution of marriage for historically suppressing the career aspirations and self-expression of women – well, that’s just reality.

My only complaint about the book is that it is poorly edited. Someone really should have removed Gilbert’s numerous anyhows and other colloquialisms. I know she was going for a conversational tone, but sometimes it’s too much, especially her habit of apologizing for or qualifying many of her statements. Otherwise, Gilbert is a gifted writer, and I intend to seek out some of her fiction.

Of course after writing this book, and Eat Prey Love, she figured out that she is actually ... a lesbian...and divorced the guy. I like her and her writing, but consider the source before taking any advice or messages to heart. I consider it engaging fiction, which is clearly what it is.

In "Committed: A Love Story," Elizabeth Gilbert explores the history and cultural practices of matrimony. In the past, women got married because they had to, and even though the marriage was not borne of intense, soul-crushing love, marriages did work out for the most part because there was no alternative to it not working out, and because -- and this is something that must be so abstract and alien to Gilbert -- living for others makes us happy. This was the way that Gilbert's grandmother and mother lived their lives, and the way countless of women in impoverished nations continue to live theirs -- and it is a way that an already divorced Gilbert cannot imagine living hers. That is, until she is forced to marry her Brazilian lover in order to be with him.

Gilbert is an incredibly self-indulgent and self-involved writer who happens to be the voice of her generation of middle-aged, successful, type A, self-involved women who want it all, and many of whom already have it all. That's why Gilbert can be so exhausting to read. First of all, the book is much too long -- especially for a book that hardly says anything at all. Second of all, the book is entirely about Gilbert, and there's so little self-reflection and self-introspection that it's no fun to read at all.

Sorry Ms Gilbert. I loved Last American Man which I read on a fluke some year ago. More recently I listened to Eat Pray Love and thought it was brilliant. So ofcourse I would want to hear your follow up book to Eat Pray Love. Who wouldn't? What a mess! As Publishers Weekly stated, there was no story. Mostly just a lot of rambling about marriage and relationships in different cultures. Really tedious stuff. Now and then she would give some interesting details about her travels in Asia and the different people she met there. That was the only interesting relief to an otherwise very dull book. I realize that Ms Gilbert felt pressure to provide a follow up to her brilliant Eat Pray Love, but she would have been better to quit while she was ahead. I still love her as an author, but this one was a big boo boo!

I have read several of Elizabeth Gilbert's books and feel she is a witty, intelligent and compassionate author. She was afraid to marry a second time due to a heart-wrenching divorce from her first husband. Since the only way her Brazilian-born lover, Felipe, could stay in the United States was by marrying her, she spent 10 months researching the history of marriage hoping to make peace with it. She encountered some interesting people along her way to find out as much as possible before marrying Felipe.

After doing so much research, the author does a nice job of telling us all we would ever need to know regarding the institution of marriage. It's all done in a way that makes this book funny, informative, and interesting. It's well worth reading even if you are already happily married.

I really enjoyed this book! It is a great story, conversation, exploration and sharing of Liz Gilbert's life, learnings and processing about her relationship as it relates to marriage. It would not hurt for all to read this book... what ever sex or gender... married or not.

I appreciate her self honesty and humbleness about learning about relationships. She has a gift of really bringing people along with her discoveries without defensiveness... hers or the readers. I totally know what I mean.... I hope that expresses it well.

Her discussion on the history of marriage is also well thought out. Again... good for ALL to read and process.

A great... KIND OF sequel to Eat Pray Love... but very different and I don't think you need to read EPL to love and appreciate this book.

Elizabeth Gilbert... if I had to choose 5 "famous people" to be my friend or neighbors. She would solidly be at the top of the list!

I admire Ms Gilbert's approach to the subject. This book is a carefully considered confessional-

And I guess I should stop right there: anyone who saw 'Eat, Love, Pray' as 'self-indulgent' or 'crap on every level', keep moving. There's really nothing for you here.

So this book is about the author approaching her second marriage, and while she does, while she's mired in all the post-9/11 complications of marrying a 'foreigner', she provides some pretty fascinating insight into the history of marriage, how it's perceived in various parts of the world, while throwing into the mix the specifics of her own experiences (and those of her parents, specifically). The result is an satisfying read...for those open to the examination. (And I do have to add that if you like her writing style...because she's written for so many men's magazines, I suppose you could put it under that banner...then the subject matter will be received well by you. While if you're not a fan of how she writes, then once again, keep moving.)

I was especially touched by how she was able to relate some of the more personal elements of her investigation. For example, this:

"She was happy because she had a partner, and because they were building something together, and because she believed deeply in what they were building and because it amazed her to be included in such an undertaking."

This is not a groundbreaking book. It is, in its own way, a 'beach book'; not too much substance, not too much fluff...but stirring enough to have you gazing out at the water, having been sent off on your own examinations.

I enjoyed most of this book especially those parts in which Gilbert presents historical information and sociological insight into the institution of marriage. Gilbert is a very good writer and storyteller and the story of her own marriage story is for the most part interesting. Her summaries of researches taught me much about marriage.
She blends in a lot of personal and family information and does this usually in a readable way.
Her description of her relationship with Felipe the man she is to marry sounds honest and genuine.
Gilbert is a very smart woman and she knows also how to entertain.
I appreciated her quoting opinions on marriage and on her own decision not to have children which were critical of herself. Her open- mindedness and readiness to seek the truth wherever it can be found is refreshing.
Among the best parts of the book for me were her description of the way Marriage has changed historically, and how it has in the West become a matter of personal choice and satisfaction rather than communal benefit. She writes about the way stable marriages are made, and how Divorce comes often from friendship that turns to Intimacy which replaces the Intimacy there was between the spouses. She writes about research which shows that Marriage is in terms of longevity, health, happiness more beneficial to Men than to Women. She writes about the Auntie factor in which ten percent of women as minimum in all societies do not have children, and how they often have other useful social functions. It seems to she is nonetheless most tenuous when she writes about her own decision to not have children. She does not directly connect this with the sacrifices she perceived her own mother and grandmother made in their working lives to do this.
The book has a respectful, modest good- spirited tone and is strong in wit.
A very good book.

It has to be so very hard for an author who writes such a publishing phenomenon has "Eat, Pray, Love" to publish that next book. The expectations of the reading public are huge and the desire to read another book along the same vein is enormous. If the reader is expecting to pick up this new book by Elizabeth Gilbert and get, EPL 2, they will be disappointed. The author has changed and evolved as a person and she can't go back and duplicate what was already done. In this new book, she explores her life after the time period of EPL and her reaction to the institution of marriage. This subject becomes of utmost importance to her since she wants to build a life with the Brazilian she met in Bali and he can no longer enter the United States without being married to her (too many border crossings and time in the US without a legal connection).

I thought EPL was great and I think this new work is also great (different but great). Ms. Gilbert's solution for trying to get comfortable with the institution of marriage is to try to understand it through doing as much research as she possibly can while moving from country to country waiting for the US officials to clear her fiancé to enter the country and for them to actually get married. It is obvious the author is a thinker and an analyzer. She has a deep-seeded skepticism regarding marriage after an ugly divorce and she appears to take the philosophy that understanding something makes you fear it less. She spends the length of the book exploring how marriage has evolved over time and over various cultures - it used to be that people didn't get married until the female was pregnant since why get married if you aren't going to be able to produce children. I particularly enjoyed the discussion about the Western view of marriage (the spouse completes you and is your soul mate) versus other cultures where the spouses have a role but aren't expected to meet every need. The author spends a fair amount of time examining the Christian church's evolving stance on marriage and I found it highly informative and interesting. The discussion may be offensive to some since it does expose how the church has changed its view drastically and dispels the notion that the clergy has always supported the institution of marriage.

I found the book to be interesting more scholarly than EPL. While Ms. Gilbert spends time sharing her philosophy about marriage and her deeply personal thoughts on the topic, this is only one part of the book. As I said at the top of the review - let this book stand on its own and you probably will enjoy it if you like this type of writing. If you expect another book just like EPL, you will be disappointed.

I really enjoyed Eat, Pray, Love and in this follow up book Gilbert once again manages to take us on a journey through uncharted waters. This time though, instead of roaming through Rome and travelling across Tibet (why yes, I do amuse myself...) she takes us into the mystical and complicated land of marriage. I have never really thought that much (OK, at all) about the history of marriage and what should go into it. While I know relationships require work, Gilbert takes it to a whole new level: relationships that require research. I loved reading through her emotional journey. She doesn't hold back and really lets us see how every aspect of this very tricky time affected her and her decisions. In Eat, Pray, Love we see Gilbert piecing herself back together after a brutal divorce (as most seem to be), here I consider it more of a deconstruction of self and the actual concept of marriage.

Gilbert easily switches between past and present, interspersing her experiences with fact. I loved all the arguments and information we get about marriage, there was so much I didn't know before! As a researcher and obsessive investigator at heart I loved all the random tidbits of information that I probably wouldn't have otherwise discovered. This book is written like she was telling it to a friend and I certainly felt as though I was coming back for another chat. The language was plain, clear and touching. The meaning was profound and interesting. The characters (Gilbert and her other) expressed as truly as possible.

All in all this was a pretty good book, and while I probably won't be rereading it again in the near future, it is definitely one I will keep on my shelf to flip through again. I am happy to recommend this book to anyone who has the tendency to research the bejeezes out of anything (like me!) and loves to gather up random information about often bypassed topics.

[...]

(Audio CD version) EG has a fantastic reading voice. This was so much more interesting than Eat Pray Love. I am a historian by avocation and was fully immersed in the sociological discussions of marriage.

This book came highly recommended by a friend, and I rushed through it. Well, as fast as Elizabeth Gilbert read it I rushed through. I love when an author reads her own book. In this case it felt like she and I were sitting down for a cup of hot tea and having a deep and meaningful conversation about marriage, its definitions, its moral implications, its storied history, its evolution, and its personal relevance and significance. But the book was about more than that: it's "Elizabeth Gilbert Unplugged."

I skeptically read "Eat, Pray, Love," and didn't thoroughly love it. I enjoyed parts of it, challenged parts of it, and ultimately applauded. But "Committed" is different. Really different.

Given my resistance to big chunks of "Eat, Pray, Love," reading "Committed" was refreshing and made me realize how much I thoroughly and completely like Liz Gilbert. She's so real. And honest. And normal.

Listening to Gilbert read her own journey to marriage was like taking my own relationship journey, but with a really close girlfriend to share insights and a-ha moments the entire time.

I fully intend to listen through this one more than once and recommend you grab a cup of hot tea and jump in with eyes wide open.

I expected more of a personal narrative, but it was woven through a historical and critical look at marriage through out history and around the world. It was, ultimately, a sweet love story and kept my interest throughout.

A fitting sequel to Eat, Pray Love. We follow Liz through her agnostic over being forced to marry although very skeptical about the institution, benefiting from her research and humor. Cultural perspectives are explored. Historical perspectives are mined. And in the end, as is often the case, love wins.

Wow. This book reads like a dissertation on marriage. It has so many facts, polls, statistics, and basic knowledge about marriage, I felt like I'd taken a class on all the pros and cons of saying "I do". Gilbert does an excellent job of research and knows her subject well. I loved this book and found myself rooting for she and Felipe to find mad, crazy love with each other and marriage itself. I want them to live happily ever after, and after reading about their unbelievable journey to the altar, I have no doubt they will!

I love memoir, so of course I have read and enjoyed EAT PRAY LOVE. Gilbert herself addresses the difficultly of publishing a follow-up to the kind of blockbuster success that EAT PRAY LOVE became. I wasn't necessarily holding her to that standard, but was hoping for more of the kind of personal exploration that she shared in that book.

COMMITTED is instead written like a project memoir (which I also like). Books such as The Year of Living Biblically: One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible or The Happiness Project where the author is on some sort of personal quest and he or she supplements it by researching the subject etc. Gilbert approached this memoir this way -- sharing her personal experiences, yes, but mostly explaining or reacting to other studies she's read on marriage (and divorce), or laws, or social commentary on the institution.

She's not trying to change the world (well, she might be trying to sway thoughts/laws) -- she's telling her story. She's telling why she chose love, and why she had chosen to be unmarried and child-free.

If you are looking for information on the institution of marriage -- particularly if you feel disenfranchised from it, either by divorce, or singleness (by choice or circumstance), or exclusion (by the legal definition of marriage), this is a good book (4 star at least).

However, I give this 3.5 stars NOT because it's not EAT PRAY LOVE, because that's not what I expected, nor even what she promised. I wanted more of Elizabeth Gilbert's personal searching, and perhaps more of an afterward about the reality of how marriage has been a good (or bad) thing, but the book didn't go that far.

I'm perplexed by the number of reviewers who found this book to be disappointing because they didn't realize what it was about. A quick read of the back cover or the first few pages would have been a good indication. Ms. Gilbert clearly lays out her agenda and outline for this book: it is NOT a sappy, entertaining, Nicholas Sparks type novel, nor did she intend for it to be. This book wasn't written for our entertainment; it was written for her. I really enjoyed this book, and think it's a good follow-on to EPL. I'm glad Elizabeth Gilbert isn't a one dimensional writer; I prefer an author with a little depth. The ONLY criticism I have for it (and this is more for the editor she praises so highly) is the overwhelming use of the word "moreover". A great read.

I really was inspired by Eat, Pray, Love. I had high hopes for this next book. I bought it on Kindle prior to any reviews. Man, am I sorry. BOOORRRIINNGGGG. And you can't get any refunds on digital content. I normally give any book it's due. I keep reading beyond when I'm bored, every word. About halfway through this slog, I stared skipping pages at a time, looking for real human interest content. Sorry, sorry, sorry, don't buy this book.

I gave this book 5 stars, because I love it, not because I think it deserves a Pulitzer Prize. Gilbert has a unique voice -- weaving in musings about her family, travels with Felipe and facts about marriage. As a woman who is on the verge of marrying a second time myself, Gilbert's worries about marriage resonated with me. The historical facts on marriage were interesting, but in the end, that was not what made this book really resonate with me - it was her personal reflections.

I couldn't finish Eat Pray Love (EPL) -- a bit too precious, self-indulgent, etc. But in Committed, Gilbert takes a more sobering look at herself, probably in part, because of the searing backlash against EPL - even spawning a bawdily titled parody. In this book, Gilbert takes aim at herself sharply, basically admitting to her own flakiness, including worries about her ability to stick to marriage vows -- all without providing a silver lining to it.

Other reviewers had a problem with the fact that she reveals her mate's faults. I can only presume that she had his permission to reveal what she did, or she would be risking the marriage that she so evidently doesn't want to fail.

Elizabeth Gilbert has done it again: within the pages of her book, Committed, she has shared an astonishingly revealing glimpse into her though process and her personal experiences.

Although some portions of this book do read like a college term paper written by a women's studies major, most of the book zips along like a gossipy conversation with a very chatty acquaintance. Gilbert doesn't seem to mind sharing some very revealing conversations that she has had with her close friends and relatives and that makes her books very juicy reads.

This book certainly didn't change the way I perceive the institution of marriage, but I really enjoyed reading about Gilbert's thought process as she worked to come to terms with her divorce and subsequent remarriage.

Elizabeth Gilbert’s thoughtful and harrowing exploration of the surprising and complex history of marriage the world over, mingles here with thoughtful and honest implications for today’s version of matrimony. Gilbert’s honesty expands throughout the book, into a page-turning tale of what it means to be a woman yearning for real romantic intimacy and privacy, without having to give away the things about herself she holds most dear. Regardless of the fact that the marriage Gilbert enters in the book ended years later in divorce, there’s much to be gleaned here, about what it means to wrestle with notions of love and monogamy.

As a man, I managed to resist the siren call of "Eat, Pray, Love." It's not that I don't read female-oriented literature, and, in fact, "The Secret Life of Bees" and "The Lovely Bones" are some of my favorite novels, but I tend to steer clear of the latest literary bandwagons. My resistance crumbled after lunch with River Jordan--an incredible author in her own right--during which she insisted I simply had to try Gilbert's books.

I started out with "Committed." Married for nearly twenty years, I thought this subject of marriage might be an interesting one. Within the first few pages, I was caught up in the whimsical web of Gilbert's prose. She uses humor and honesty to disarm, and I found myself looking forward to the next chapter. I wondered how she and her beloved Felipe would overcome the obstacles of Homeland Security, not to mention their own fears of going through divorce. In today's society, it's a genuine fear. Gilbert makes it clear that she would've been content in a committed relationship, without the legal documentation, but the US government had other plans for her--and, she seems to admit, perhaps God did too.

Despite the sparkling prose and personal insights, "Committed" lacks a bit of that anecdotal, fun-loving spirit that I suspect made EPL such a huge bestseller. Gilbert makes some great observations about marriage in other cultures, and the way relationships should/shouldn't work in our own, but these observations sometimes feel like long editorial pieces instead of threads in a running narrative. We work through long passages before encountering Liz and Felipe again, sharing a seat on a horrendous bus ride, or relaxing in the sun. More of the personal would've made this book more enjoyable for me; nevertheless, I found it readable and worth investigating. While I don't agree with all of Gilbert's commentaries, and while I was taken back by her misinterpretation of the early church fathers' view on marriage (before the Catholic Church stepped in), I thought she made some excellent points about the Auntie Brigade, the mortality rate of married women, and so on.

I wish Liz and Felipe all the best, and I hope many are challenged by this book to rethink their own relationships, as well as our cultural views that have led to the dissolution of so many marriages.

As many reviewers have noted, this is a very different book from Eat, Pray, Love. It really isn't so much of a memoir, although it does cover the period of Elizabeth Gilbert's life in which she and Felipe - the Brazilian she met and fell in love with at the end of EPL - are aimlessly traveling about Asia as they wait for U.S. immigration to clear them both for marriage. Much of the book is a sociological and historical analysis of the institution of marriage from every possible angle. The author draws on her journalistic expertise for this much more than in EPL, and the book is exhaustively researched. She does intersperse personal stories, and of course shares her own personal struggle to 'make peace' with marriage, as she indicates in the subtitle. But there is not quite as much emotion or humor.

Personally, that is just fine with me. I loved the travel stories, the family history, the arguments with Felipe, and the research. In a way it is an extended personal essay on romance, marriage and relationships, and a very well-done one. Some of the history and theory got a bit long and tedious for my taste (hence the 4 instead of 5 stars), and frankly I just skimmed or even skipped through paragraphs when that got to be the case. But overall, as a 40-something married women who had severe doubts about marriage myself before committing, I think this book is right on target. Ms. Gilbert has documented the ever-changing nature of marriage, the shifts that are occurring now all over the world, and the particular challenges it poses for women. I think she does so in an even-handed and highly readable way. And I commend her for doing something so different from EPL, and yet connected, and so well.

She says she doesn't want children, so I guess she won't be doing something similar about parenthood, which is too bad, but I look forward to whatever she does come up with next none the less.

In "Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage," Elizabeth Gilbert explores the events of her life and relationship with Felipe, following the ending of her bestseller memoir "Eat, Pray, Love." Fast forward to 2006. Felipe has been frequently visiting Gilbert in the U.S., using up the maximum three months allotted to his U.S. visa, flying back to his home, and then flying back to the U.S. to visit the author for another three months. Because of his frequent visits, the U.S. Homeland Security becomes suspicious and detains Felipe on one of his flights back.

After lengthy interrogation, the U.S. Homeland Security officer warns Gilbert that if she wants Felipe to stay with her in the U.S., they must marry. To complicate matters, Felipe is deported and Gilbert hires an immigration lawyer to work out their case in the U.S., while she flies to Vietnam to join Felipe in their seclusion.

Most of the book focuses on Gilbert's view about marriage, compartmentalized into sections like "Marriage and Infatuation" or "Marriage and Subservience." Interspersed throughout Gilbert's analysis of marriage (its history, gender inequality, state repression, personal memories, etc.), is an account of her and Felipe's travels, while waiting for things to get sorted back in the U.S. In Vietnam, Gilbert interviews some Hmong women from a local village about their marriages. Afterwards, she and Felipe travel to Laos, where Gilbert observes Laotian monks and hires a tour guide. Further travels include Cambodia, Thailand, and Bali where Gilbert and Felipe settle down into Felipe's old home.

Overall, I found this book to be a combination of a travel memoir and a book about marriage. As a reader and a fan of Ms. Gilbert's, I enjoyed the accounts of her journey with Felipe more than the academic parts about marriage. Nevertheless, I did find the predictable ending satisfying, as it ties up Gilbert's and Felipe's relationship, as well as the book's theme of marriage. For those careful enough to read the Acknowledgements at the end of the book, when addressing Felipe, Gilbert briefly summarizes the state of her relationship with him after the events of this book.

For a book that presents only one main weak argument for marriage that the author herself doesn't completely buy, this is actually a pretty entertaining and informative read.

The weak argument in question involves the acknowledgment that marriage has always been fought for in societies across the globe and all different historical time periods, even when those in power were strongly against different varieties of marriage or marriage in general. Marriage, in other words, was demanded by couples before it was demanded or expected by institutions, and generally, it's been the institutions that caved to the will of the people, not the other way around. As a self-described bohemian, Elizabeth Gilbert found this take on marriage appealing.

Fans of Eat, Pray, Love will spot familiar travel narratives as Gilbert and her Brazilian boyfriend, Felipe, journey to Southeast Asia after the United States "deported" Felipe (not officially, but Gilbert has no better term to describe it, and they do end up in an unexpected meeting with the Dept. of Homeland Security). Learning about the U.S. immigration process via the couple's personal experience with it is an added bonus.

Gilbert examines marriage from the perspective of the Southeast Asian people she meets, as well as reflecting on the marriages of her mother and grandmother. A particularly fascinating chapter focuses on the history of marriage, and the idea that what we consider "traditional" marriage is a far more recent concept. Gilbert includes tidbits like a tradition in China for single women to marry dead men, and medieval Germany's practice of offering two different kinds of marriages to choose from: Muntehe, which was a permanent life contract, and Friedelehe, a looser living arrangement that involved no merging of money or inheritance and could be broken by either party if he or she wished. The evolving view of the Church on matrimony is highlighted in a historical narrative that is very relevant to present-day.

Gilbert weaves stats from scientific studies with views on relationships from great thinkers like Immanuel Kant and Carl Jung. She aptly communicates factors that make it more likely for a marriage to last, but emphasizes that nothing is guaranteed. Gilbert's personal journey with Felipe is chronicled throughout each chapter, and she makes a compelling argument for why she is so averse to marriage in the first place, which may be an eye-opener to those who have only considered the pros or perceived marriage as an inevitability.

Gilbert is bravely honest about both herself and her partner, and provides humbling (and funny) anecdotes intermixed with more general research about marriage. This was a quick read and kept me turning pages, although lack of in-depth sources did have me questioning a few of her points.

People who won't like this book: Those who find memoirs self-absorbed or boring. This is a personal memoir, not an objective treatise on marriage, and Gilbert does bring her lively opinions along, but she is very upfront about this from the beginning.

"Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage," though not without its merits, reads more like a project than a page-turner, the latter what one expects from the bestselling author of "Eat, Pray, Love." More significantly, "Committed" manifests as a vulnerable, somewhat apologetic discourse about marriage that's informed by the author's research on the fly and a growing desperation as she and her lover Felipe travel through Southeast Asia on a very limited budget and under emotional duress.

Elizabeth Gilbert, more the journalist this time than memoirist, explores the institution of marriage after she's told that if she wants to live with her Brazilian lover in this country, they're going to have to get married. As if to prove they're serious, Homeland Security/matchmaker arrests Felipe at a Texas airport, handcuffs, jails and deports him. This single event is a book all in itself, especially since Felipe has been doing business in the United States for a very long time. Felipe's life with Gilbert will never feel secure after this experience and the book, one assumes, must never offend Homeland Security.

Gilbert and Felipe, though they've taken personal vows and exchanged rings in a private commitment ceremony before Felipe's enforced exile, nonetheless express a vehement disdain of the legal institution of marriage. Their private vows confuse me, especially since these vows are a mirror reflection of the act they so despise. And what is marriage, really, but a vow of commitment made legal. Commitment in this society at this time is on shaky ground, regardless of legalities. The divorce rate is at 50 percent. When this couple signs a pre-nup agreement, their questions about marriage lose vitality or approach something very close to moot.

Gilbert has a right to question marriage. Her first ended in a bad divorce and she's paying alimony now. Felipe's marriage also ended badly. And, as Gilbert shows so well, women who marry have a lot to lose and men have a lot to gain. She doesn't want to marry, even if what she's saying is she doesn't want to be forced to buy into a system that subjugates and even punishes not only her but her mother, sisters, grandmothers and beloved friends. Fine. I get it. But, as you find out, the couple has no choice. A book seeking a rational way to think about marriage, given the problems she has with marriage, seems beside the point under these circumstances.

After Felipe is arrested at an airport in Texas and deported, Gilbert commences on a study of marriage while she accompanies Felipe on a nearly yearlong sojourn around Southeast Asia, where living is cheap. Exiled and demoralized, Felipe cannot even regain access to his business records and his inventory of jewelry and gems, all of which remain in the United States. It takes months of legal wrangling and reams of paperwork, but eventually Homeland Security allows Felipe access to the United States as long as he and Gilbert marry.

Gilbert is candid.

"Do I sound like I'm trying to talk myself into something here?" she writes toward the conclusion.

"People, I am trying to talk myself into something here."

Candor is not effective defense. And her roundabout journey of discovery, which leads her to conclude that marriage is a subversive act, leaves something to be desired.

There's a frantic moment toward the end where the author races, trips, races, in chaotic retreat to her hotel in Cambodia. Children are chasing her and she becomes increasingly flummoxed. Something about this scene speaks to the forced nature of the book, the actions of the two lovers, and perhaps, something about the precarious nature of marriage. Sometimes you just need to stop, admit the realities, and bite the bullet. The alternative is some kind of off-kilter exercise where one might trip up.

Rae Francoeur's book "Free Fall: A Late-in-Life Love Affair," comes out in April. She can be reached at [email protected].

When I first started this book, I thought, 'dear me, what self-indulgent nonsense. She goes on and on about how awful and dreadful and unfair it was that she and her (Brazilian-born, Indonesia-residing, Australian citizen) lover had to get married so they could live together in the US. Really?' It came across as the tedious whining of a spoiled, boring, white woman with a massive sense of entitlement.

BUT...when I skipped over her own non-essential story (and the lack of research about the Hmong people she encountered in Vietnam), it actually became an interesting exploration of marriage through the ages in Western society. Best to skip straight to this part if you are interested in substance rather than personal hand-wringing.

The strange thing about this follow up to Eat Pray Love is that accounting to the author the first draft of this book was written before EPL became the best-seller it is today. I'm a little sceptical myself as `sequel' books such as these are often little more than money grabbers and never seem to amount to anything like the brilliant original pieces. Of course if Gilbert can be believes Committed is nothing of the sort, and perhaps I should just throw my cynicism aside and review the actual book.

As you should already remember from EPL, Gilbert has hooked up with a new foreign beau, and has a new lease on life. Committed begins as that new life begins to slide out of their grasp, thanks to a Southern customs agent getting suspicious of Philipe's comings and goings (he continually applied for temporary working visas in order to constantly travel into America to see Gilbert)

Perhaps merely being sarcastic the border agent suggests the two get married, and so begins Gilbert's almost obsessive foray into researching marriage and what is means. Unlike EPL Committed is mostly devoted to the topic of marriage, rather than biographing Gilbert's life. I don't want to be harsh, but I honestly preferred it. By far the highlights of this book are the historical summaries, I found the sections devoted to Gilbert's life to be somewhat yawn-worthy.

Of particular note are Gilbert's writings on conservative views on marriage in America (written with no less than the expected left-minded fiery scorn) and a very interesting piece towards the end on the subversive nature of marriage and families. A thesis which summarises to describe societies or those in charge of always trying but ultimately failing to control the family unit, the family unit being a constantly variable grouping dependant on the choices of the individuals included.

At under 300 pages Committed is a short read with few surprises, still much better than much of the sclub out there

I received Eat, Pray, Love as a gift on my way to the hospital for a lumpectomy on Christmas Eve, 2009. What a gift. I devoured it, and then rushed out to purchase Committed and I have also devoured it. While Committed is not as special in the same way, there are nuggets that are truly inspiring. It caused me to re-evaluate my own 52 year marriage to my husband, who I married at age 19! Perhaps i am just lucky, but it also caused me to see all my husband's good parts along with the annoying ones.

I especially loved the parts of Committed telling the stories of Elizabeth's grandmother and her mother, as this is reflected in my own history. The Swedes! and the Scottish! Oh, my!

I would have loved more descriptions of the countries and places and lifestyle they were living in at that point in their travels. Perhaps that is the novel that got dumped!

But, as Elizabeth and Felipe were finally meeting at the airport (JFK) In January 2007, I just lost it with my own sobbing for her final and most heart warming reunion with the man she
fought so hard for and won! It made the whole somewhat technical read worthwhile, in my eyes!

Surely our Homeland Security should be required to read this story! They need to rethink their point in all of this!

I will be wanting to read all of Elizabeths books now, especially non-fiction which is my favorite!

Faced with the possible deportation of her love, Filipe, Gilbert has come to the conclusion that she must again get married. This is something that neither she nor Felipe thought they would do again. Having gone through an awful divorce (as witnessed in Eat, Pray, Love) Gilbert is very skeptical of the institution of marriage.

I think this is the reason I love her. I can relate to her. Although I am married and haven't personally gone thorough a divorce, I was definitely jaded by my parents divorce and decided early on it is much better to be happily divorced than unhappily married. Yes, I am married, but I made sure that nowhere in our vows did it say anything about "till death do us part" because I just don't believe it. My husband is fully aware of my "issues" (both with marriage and otherwise). I have to admit part of me hoped that Committed would bring me some reassurance, and it kind of did. Gilbert seemed to jump into her research with a clear plan to "figure it all out." One of my favorite lines is after she is talking to her mother about things given up for marriage as opposed to things gained.

"Therefore, the tidy ultimate conclusion is...???
It was slowly becoming clear to me that perhaps there was never going to be any tidy ultimate conclusion here. My mother herself had probably given up long ago trying to draw tidy ultimate conclusions about her existence, having abandoned (as so many of us must do, after a certain age) the luxuriously innocent fantasy that one is entitled to have mixed feelings about one's own life."

In Committed, Gilbert bounces back and forth between her stories--including conversations with people she met while waiting for Felipe to be allowed back in the United States and her extensive research on the subject of marriage. I found it fascinating to learn about the various histories and different rituals in other cultures. Gilbert has an incredible talent for recreating her conversations and adventures and I enjoyed every minute of it.

I was very curious to see how Elizabeth Gilbert, our bohemian, man-loving, commitment-fearing, young woman would take to marriage to her beloved Felipe. I rather enjoyed her therapeutic trek following her divorce and ill-fated affair as chronicled in Eat Pray Love and wanted more. Just how did life with Felipe work out after they finally got out of bed and faced up to reality? Well, I was disappointed!

She offered us a few tasty morsels of real life with Felipe--Homeland Security's quest to deport the undocumented Felipe stressed them both out, traveling with Felipe showed us some of the reality of relationships (I enjoyed their bus ride), and some of her discussions with Felipe were enlightening. I liked Felipe's humble admissions regarding money and booze (he has always been good at making money but not at saving it and he drinks too much wine). Now this is a dose of reality (from her personal life). But I stress these were moments in a much larger view of marriage--the anthropologist's or the feminist's look at marriage encompassed most of the book and I found it to be draining and depressing for the most part.

Her basic premise is that marriage is not what it's cracked up to be and it's worse for women. She has plenty of recent interviews and historical information to back her up. But it's mind-numbing. I'm a widow. When I was married, it could be heaven, it could be hell--most spouses have said the words, "I could kill you!" But I used to love to read Judith Viorist's book Marriage is Better (I think it was called) because it emphasized the fact that you can want to kill him one day and the next day you're so glad that you didn't!

Had I picked up Gilbert's book Committed on a bad day, I would have ended up more depressed because she manages to find a multitude of negative information about marriage. For example, supposedly during the Great Depression when poverty-stricken spouses were unhappy they carved out their own separations by splitting their houses into two with bed sheets. This is to show us that when people say that in the olden days divorce was rare and people stayed in love forever that this was just a facade. Maybe so for some people. I recently saw an article in the paper about a couple who had been married for seventy years and were still in love and helping one another through the trials and tribulations of old age. This is the sort of thing that makes you feel good about the power of human love.

I suppose some people might feel that Gilbert's cautionary tale will teach them about what they are getting into when they say "I do." But this book isn't an upper. It's basically a downer because she paints such a sad picture of the institution of marriage.

Granted, she says that Felipe tells her that they're free-thinking enough to craft their own kind of marriage. And she's hoping that this is true (but still feels that they could end up divorced). Maybe some would say that she is a realist. But all this doom and gloom makes for a tiresome read. I'm giving it three stars because I still say that she knows how to write. But then no one would deny that Shakespeare could write either, and yet he was a master of doom and gloom himself.

Perspective is often missing when people fall in love and Gilbert has perspective. She found the perfect man to entice her into a web of inquiry, and this is a place you might avoid if you're crusin' toward marital bliss, biologic attraction and all of their pitfalls.
If you've decided to marry or you're committed to the single life- you are the target readers.
I was entertained by Gilbert's questions to indigenous women, homeland security and Felipe. In writing Committed she's asking women, "Why do you want to spend your life with him?"

I read this book simply because I believe in Elizabeth Gilbert. I am a great fan of Eat, Pray Love. Not because it’s a bestseller, but because it teaches you why it iso much about yourself and your relationships and how could you accelerate the journey to find these answers within you. Committed on the other hand, is not close to EPL. It has a not-so-exciting storyline and not many people will actually relate to this story. But then there are few ( like me ) who do, and that’s why I enjoyed reading this book. It talks about marriage, it’s history, current state across different cultures. From all this, all she is trying to do is make peace with it. It’s her writing style and commitment to start her married life better in a thoughtful way, is what makes you adore her. Although not as engaging as EPL, it’s good to find your own way though her writing. Makes you wonder how you would treat such situations in your life.

Elizabeth Gilbert does not want to get married, but marry she must if she wants to live in the United States with her honey. The adage holds: truth is stranger than fiction.

To work through her anxiety about marrying, Gilbert puts the institution under the microscope. She talks to Hmong women in Cambodia who are far more pragmatic about marriage than we are in the U.S. She examines early Christian attitudes toward marriage and finds, to my surprise, that marriage was discouraged since celibacy was the ideal of life. She looks at the Old Testament tribes and how marriage was a form of protection in the openness of the desert. Then she discusses, at great length, same sex marriage. Mixed in with the historical examination of marriage is a very personal recounting of the marriages of her grandmother and mother.

Once broken down and examined, the giant and overwhelming machine of marriage becomes a collection of pixels- simultaneously a monolith and just two people at the kitchen table.

Similar to Eat, Pray, Love, Gilbert's tone is conversational, lively and very intimate. Like most things in life, the book's strength is also its weakness and it does ramble a bit and need some tightening up. That being said, the book is very interesting and readable.

The book have very interesting facts about the matrimonial institution, from the cultural and historical point of view, around the world but is a departure from her previous writing style and book. This book is somehow "too discursive" too demagogic for all the chapters with exception of the last one wich is a nice, agreeable and realistic ending that bear some resemblance to the narrative of her previous book.

Oh wait, that made this review sound like marriage is a bad thing, like some sort of mental institution....Well, as Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love) feels, it has all the charm and appeal to her of a strait jacket. Oh sure, she loves Felipe (who you met in Eat, Pray, Love) but marriage? Really? That was the one truly monumental thing that they both agreed on....They would NEVER get married.....EVER. Well, that is until Felipe is unable to get back across our border after having too many 90 day visas.

So, Elizabeth, being a writer and one who researches a lot, gives herself a mission....she will try to find out everything she can about marriage. From tiny village elders half a world away, to her friends, family and throughout the history of marriage.

I wasn't sure if I would be interested in this book. I've been happily married for 22 years, so for me, being skeptical about marriage is not something I'm dealing with. I basically thought the book would be more about her, and after reading Eat, Pray, Love I wanted to know how things ended up and how she carried on after her soul searching after her bitter divorce. Well, I loved this book. I think it was a very satifying read. I loved reading about her own life and struggles with Felipe and coming to grips on marriage and I loved all the research on marriages. Who knew that arranged marriages actually have fewer failures? Huh.....

Anyway, there are a lot of different insights-women who had careers in the 50's who gave them up to be wives and mothers, wives in the 70's during the feminism era and wives now, with and without children. I thought this section was interesting on how women looked back on their decisions about being married, what their expectations were and whether or not they chose having children.

I enjoyed the book immensely and would recommend it to my friends, both those that are wives and those that aren't, as it is an interesting read.

Of course you also have the tied-up ending, where you find out if Elizabeth & Felipe actually do tie the knot, and that is just the icing on the cake (so to speak).

COMMITTED by Elizabeth Gilbert is a follow-up to her runaway bestseller, EAT PRAY LOVE (see also Section 4A).

It takes her from the end of the first book--when she falls in love with Felipe--to their life afterward . . . all was going smoothly until he was detained by the U.S. government, which then gave the couple a choice . . . either they needed to get married or Felipe would never again be allowed to enter into the country.

That became problematic, in that both individuals had said they'd never get married again because of their previous marriages . . . however, as much thought and realizing they didn't have many other options, they did choose the marriage route.

It took them some ten months to cut through all the details that were required and during that time, Gilbert devoted herself to the study of matrimony . . . she read everything she could about the subject and, also, spoke to countless individuals throughout the world.

That was the part about COMMITTEED that I liked least . . . what I liked most were the parts that the author devoted to her life with Felipe . . . I became interested in their lives and enjoyed reading about how Gilbert sought help from one border guard:

* "What would you do now, if you were in our situation," I asked. This is a technique I've learned to use over the years whenever I find myself at an impasse with a dispassionate customer service operator or an apathetic bureaucrat. Phrasing the sentence in such a manner invites the person who has all the power to pause for a moment and put himself in the shoes of the person who is powerless. It's a subtle appeal to empathy. Sometimes it helps. Most of the time, to be honest, it doesn't help at all. But I was willing to try anything here.

I also enjoyed reading about their love story, including this following passage:

* Then Felipe's eyes filled with tears and he said, "Thank you for coming into my life. No matter what happens now, no matter what you decide to do next, just know that you've given me the two most joyful years I've ever known, and I will never forget you."

Lastly, as was the case the first book, there were parts that had me smiling--such as when Gilbert described the issue of wedding gifts:

* As Miss Manners once coolly explained to a reader, the proper technique for congratulating a serial bride-to-be is to eschew all gifts and galas and simply write the lady a note expressing how very delighted you are for her happiness, wishing her all the luck in the world, and being very careful to avoid using the words "this time."

I hope that there's at least a third book about this couple, covering how their life in New Jersey has turned out for them.

I loved Eat Pray Love. This is not Eat Pray Love by any means. It is mildly interesting in places but largely dull and what's worse, Elizabeth Gilbert reads the book herself. She mumbles terribly and speaks very softly throughout. I had to crank it up to high volume to barely hear her mumbling, slightly irritating monotone voice. Do yourself a favor if you really insist on reading / listening to this book and get it at the library!

Embarking on writing a major work after the spectacular Eat, Pray, Love, must have been no easy feat. However, undaunted and honest as ever, Elizabeth Gilbert provides an eye-opening and thorough account of the colossal entity we call marriage. We have all grown up accepting marriage as a given. It seems to be taken as common place that people simply grow up and get married- and then (of course) live happily ever after. Or is it that easy?

Not so fast, Gilbert warns us. Do we completely know what we are getting into? What happens to us as independent beings when we marry? What makes a marriage more likely to succeed, and what makes it more likely to fail? What are the economic, social, and legal ties that bind us and do we even understand the significance of them? How are we able to somehow throw love in the mix as well? Extremely timely and pertinent questions with serious implications. Some of the most interesting and thought provoking aspects of the book- a glimpse into the lives of the Hmong women in Asia (who view marriage not as a solution to all of life's problems and seem to have no qualms whatsoever about this), how marriage was viewed by different religions throughout the centuries- not always so 'sacred', and the way marriage has been used to secure money, power, and property throughout history. Quite simply, Gilbert explains this institution has been pulled, prodded, and changed for centuries- yet still it remains. There is something, then that draws us still to marry. Gilbert (thrown rather harshy into marriage by the US government) walks away with a brokered peace with marriage and a deeper understanding of what it means to be married- as she embarks on her own marriage. The reader has a deeper understanding as well.

As a final note, what is more important if not the subject of who we spend our lives with? Who we share our faith, time, children, money, and precious moments with? As a new mother who married five years ago at the age of 24 (I know this puts me into the danger zone :), this book has given me fuller understanding of what it means to be married and coming to respect my own marriage as an imperfect, changing, and totally lovable creature- much like my own baby son. (Quite simply, the white gown and endless talks about the church and reception hall didn't really matter- the chats we had about faith, child-rearing, navigating our political differences, and in-laws definitely mattered.) It has once been said that 'The unexamined life is not worth living.' Gilbert's book suggests that perhaps an unexamined marriage is not worth having- and I'd agree.

This book is a must read for anyone who has married, is married or plans on getting married. Elisabeth's perspective is stellar. She has done research historically that helps reader's understand today's morays on marriage. She has interviewed people throughout the world on their marriages asking difficult questions of them. Her ability to make you think about your own life choices concerning marriage are stimulating and interesting. She reads Committed in her audiobook version having a voice and talent in reading that is so easy to listen to.

Insightful and informative, all wrapped up in Gilbert's distinctive style of writing which makes the reader feel like she's written a personal letter just of them. Personally, I think this should be mandatory reading for anyone considering marriage. Wouldn't it be great if everyone considered so carefully before they took that giant step?

In Eat, Pray, Love, Gilbert inspired readers by emotionally connecting with them through her personal triumphs and losses. In Committed, her constant bellyaching and condescending attitude distance her from the audience and bury the smattering of noteworthy discourse. By the end of the book, readers will feel more sympathy for her patient husband than the confused and pessimistic Gilbert.

The lack of authority and reliability from the author detracts from the more interesting features of the book, such as the conversations with married women from different cultural backgrounds. She only scratches the surfaces with her interviews and then quickly drops the subject, as if she doesn't know how to process the information. Gilbert readily admits that she is not a "professional academic, nor a sociologist, nor a psychologist, nor an expert on marriage." The jumbled facts and figures presented throughout the book are interesting bits of trivia but also incomplete. For all her rants, interviews, and research, Gilbert achieves no clarity. She remains a skeptic until the end and concludes that marriage has changed throughout history and the dynamics of commitment differ between every couple. It required a journey throughout foreign lands and a year's worth of research to reach such an ironically noncommittal conclusion?

When a couple asks me to help them prepare to get married, the first thing I try to do is talk them out of the decision to marry. At first blush, this idea sounds cynical. I am not cynical about marriage, I am very much in favor of that institution. However, ask anyone who has been married longer than the life of a magazine subscription and, more than likely, they will tell you that marriage is the most difficult thing they have ever attempted. (Most will also tell you there are rewards to this work that far overshadow the work required.) Typically those who want to get married are more interested in the "party" (the wedding ceremony and celebration) than they are what happens after the crowd has gone home, the gifts are stored away and the actual living a life with someone else begins. Should the couple stills want to get married after my efforts (to this point, they ALL have), then we begin an educational process that will end, hopefully, 50+ years later with the death of one of them. I understand and accept that what we discuss in session will not sink in until much later in their relationship, which does not preclude their need to hear the information NOW.

If I could design a premarital "preparation" program that will cause the couple to reflect upon this decision with as much depth, passion, and commitment as Ms. Gilbert has obviously done and relates that experience in this book, I would. Until I do, those who want to get married need to read this book. Herein, she communicates a short history of marriage as it pertains to Contemporary Western culture, what making this commitment means and what is required in order for it to "succeed." The reason for this rather in-depth critique of this long established institution is simple - she is being forced to marry the love of her life by the United States or they will no longer allow him to enter its boarders. Having survived (as has her fiancé, Felipe) a horrendous divorce, the idea of marrying again is something both have sworn not to do. They will be committed to each other deeply, passionately, ethically and in all manners, just not in a way that which, should it be required, would require them to sue (legally divorce) each other before they can end their relationship. Their commitment to each other is going great until U.S. Homeland Security kicks Felipe, a Brazilian who is an Australian citizen, out of the United States because "he has visited too much."
The following year of petitioning the government for a Marriage Visa (the infamous "Green Card") is taxing for the couple as he has to stay out of the U.S. and she is committed to staying with him until she is given permission to marry him. Little is mentioned of the Everest-sized mountain of documents, absurd levels of bureaucracy or the endless waiting they experienced in those ten months (what is said is sufficient to vividly detail their love for each other). The focus of the book is Ms. Gilbert talking herself into what she has already committed within herself to do - marry Felipe. While this is not a self-help or a textbook for marriage, it certainly provides an intelligent reflection of a commitment which is too often idealized without coolly examining the actual "doing" of the commitment. The id-depth exploration of what marriage is, how it got to be there and what will give a couple the best chance of not divorcing once they have made it offered here is but a recommendation of, not a substitute for, the work any couple wanting to marry need to do.
For anyone contemplating marriage, considering the possibility of marriage, is not sure about marriage or who would just like to read a good book, this is a good choice. There are a few "adult" words, but no violence or sexual situations are described. Each chapter is divided into the different foci of marriage, as perceived by Ms. Gilbert: expectations, history, love and infatuation, women's rights, individuality and individuation and the "work" of marriage in a society. Well researched, emotionally present, clearly written and delightfully told this is a book worth reading. It will be included in my "Marriage Bibliography" I hand out to those wanting to marry (and which they largely ignore, I know).

I thought why would I enjoy a book where someone talks throughout about her new relationship and upcoming marriage but actually I did enjoy it and throughout thought about my life, of 72 years and three marriages so new I sights, thinking about things from many years ago as well as today....

Some very interesting facts and ideas about marriage. I felt that the author's personal story woven into the text was distracting. I found myself skipping over much of this, especially after the beginning.

Ok, I'm probably only one of the only women in the U.S. who hasn't read Eat, Pray, Love; that being said, I came into reading Committed with a blank slate opinion of the author and her past experiences. I have to agree with some other reviewers when they say this book is creepily reminiscent of our college sociology textbooks, dissecting and overanalyzing every little minute detail on the concept of marriage. It was all just a bit much, without much lightness to balance it out. It was too much teaching and research, which I guess if you're doing research on marriage, it would be a great resource for you, but otherwise it was pretty darn dry. I admit I am a little biased, having been married and divorced twice now. I did feel a bit silly reading a book on marriage and devoting this much time to it, when I fully intend to never get married again, and yes I get the irony of that being the author's beginnning standpoint as well. She was trying so terribly hard to convince herself that it was alright to get married, it ended up feeling as if "if you have to talk yourself into that much, maybe it really wasn't meant to be after all." I get that she and Felipe feel they were "forced" to marry by Immigration, and boy did it ever feel forced. I hope they get some rewards out of their hard-pressed marriage after all.

I adored Eat, Pray, Love and was very excited to read Committed. Elizabeth Gilbert is an incredibly talented writer. A lot of people say, "It's nothing like Eat, Pray, Love." I don't think that is fair because why should it be? This is a different book. This book is really a history lesson on marriage, which I did find very interesting, however, I think that she does go on too long with the facts and history. I would have liked to read more about her personal adventures with Felipe. I bought the book in hardback (otherwise I would have waited for paperback) because I am going to her talk/signing and that was the price of the ticket. I am really looking forward to seeing her in person.

I was so excited to see that Gilbert had written another book, Committed, I couldn't wait to buy it and read it. Unfortunately I was totally disappointed. This one is certainly not Eat, Love, Pray! It is a monologue on marriage, but a very poor one at that. I was hoping that because Gilbert had spent so much time at the ashram as well as spending time with the wise man in Indonesia that it would have some depth and some spiritual leaning. It has neither. It certainly shows her thought processes about the pros and cons of marriage for her, but none of the meaningful elements that bring depth and sustenance to a marriage of meaning, which I believe she has or I thought she had. It is such a constrast to her first novel that it will take a lot of convincing to buy another of her books, if there is such a one in the future.
Dr Gunta Krumins-Caldwell author of On Silver Wings

Let me start by saying that like everyone else, I loved Eat, Pray, Love. I was excited to get this book and see what the next chapter in her life would be, expecting her witty humor and fun pearly words of wisdom...unfortunatly, it seems that she must have taken a bit of heat in her other book because she is constantly trying to be PC and starts a lot of things with "let me be clear and explain...". I appreciate her difficult time while waiting to come back to the US, but I wish she was able to write from her heart and not try to please everyone. I know in the beginning of the book, she dedicates it to 27 women, but you can almost hear the frustration in her writing, like she is being held back or forced. I still think she is fabulous and I am looking forward to the next book' just hope its all in her own voice :)

This is the sequel to "Eat, Pray, Love." I loved both books. I did the audio book for each. Both were narrated by the author which gave it a conversational feel. She has a an enjoyable voice and style. I strongly suggest you hear "Eat, Pray, Love" first. It's about the author's travel and experiences after her divorce. Toward the end of that book she fell in love with Felipe, a Brazilian-born man of Australian citizenship who'd been living in Indonesia when they met. (I also fell in love with him.) They wanted to live together in the United States, but U.S. Immigration wouldn't allow Felipe to enter the U.S. unless they married. However, they couldn't do this for over a year while waiting on document processing. "Committed" is Elizabeth's research and thinking about what marriage means. It is also about Elizabeth's and Felipe's travel and experiences during their waiting time.

At the end of the first book, I wanted to know what would happen with Felipe and Elizabeth. I loved hearing their story in "Committed" and hearing Elizabeth's research and thoughts about marriage. And I'd like a follow-up maybe ten years later. I believe that "Eat, Pray, Love" will have a wider audience than "Committed." So it's important to read them in order.

One thing I found especially interesting was the author's discussion of the marriage benefit imbalance. Actuarial charts for a long, happy, prosperous existence show several ways marriage benefits men, but not so for women.

I disagree with one reviewer who wrote the following. The reviewer "felt uncomfortable with the amount of very personal information" the author "revealed about her husband and her parents. A confessional approach to one's own life by a memoirist is one thing; to expose and discuss other peoples' intimate feelings and issues seems exploitative." I disagree. I loved hearing all of this. The same reviewer also wrote "this gives the book a talky, chatty quality that does not translate well to the written page. There are too many "anyways", redundancies and extraneous phrases." It worked well for me, maybe because I did the audio book instead of the written book. For other reasons indicated in my review of "Eat, Pray, Love" I recommend both books as audio books over the written books.

Data:
Copyright: 2010. Genre: memoirs, nonfiction relationships marriage and travel.

Exactly what I was looking for. A compelling reflection on marriage across generations and cultures.

I am recently engaged and reflecting on the type of marriage that my fiance and I want to build. We are both nearing 30 and have built our own separate lives. My parents' marriage (and natsy divorce) leave me doubting my instincts. What happens when two lives become one? How do we let go of our fears and make this commitment, when we aren't sure what a healthy, happy marriage looks like?

Elizabeth Gilbert's attempts to methodically research the institution of marriage and philosophies surrounding it as they pertain to many women's experiences. My fiance and I listened to the audiobook on a road trip and found it an amazing source of conversation for weeks afterward. I had to listen to it a second time, just to really absorb some of the beautiful quotes she came across and ruminate in depth on some of the topics.

From book-review website, Bibliobuffet:

"Committed is part memoir and part cultural studies book, giving detailed information on the past and present situation of legal marriages throughout the world. Gilbert points out that marrying for love instead of necessity is a fairly new concept in history, and many countries still believe a marriage has nothing to do with the romantic compatibility of both partners. Gilbert researches a variety of marriage customs and arrangements, the most amusing being an ancient Roman marriage tradition that is still practiced today. When a man asks a woman to marry him in some Roman neighborhoods, he serenades her at her window and the entire town joins in, just like a real-life movie musical. There are singing parts for the man, the woman, and the townspeople, who must each collectively beg Rome not to "be an idiot tonight" and allow these two individuals to find love, Broadway style."

More of this review here: [...]

Teaser Summary: Liz Gilbert spends a year traveling through Italy, India, and Bali focusing on developing herself outside of her need for relationships. By the end of her travels she can for the first time in her life say that she feels complete in her own identity. Then, she meets a great ex-patriot and friendship quickly turns to love. The couple, both being burned through ugly divorces vow never to remarry. That is, until the United States government decides that Felipe has used too many '90 day stay' visas to the U.S., and forbid him to enter the country again...unless he and Liz marry. But, can Liz make peace with her distrust of marriage?

Similar Titles/Authors: I'm not familiar enough with this genre to recommend anything similar.

Review: I am a counseling major, and as such I enjoy books that involve people actively reflecting about their lives and the world. I especially am interested in relational and marriage counseling, and have struggled with my uncertainty of the ideas of marriage due to divorces experienced around me. I really enjoyed the previous journey of Liz's, and I couldn't wait to read the next phase of her life.

Basically, this text is written will stuck in limbo traveling through other countries, forbidden to return to the United States (or returning without Felipe), awaiting the day when all of the embassy and political paperwork will go through so the two can wed. Through this two year period Liz asks any locals she meets about their marriage customs, interviews family and friends, and has her sister send her books about marriage. She also studies the history of marriage around the world and the United States. She does this research admitting that she is not trained in those type of studies. I do not agree with all of her ideas or conclusion, but I enjoy watching her work through the topics that she discusses.

Life Application: There are so many divorces today that many people are afraid to get married (myself included at one point). However, the truth is that I think society is finally starting to see through the myths of love and marriage that have become popular. Instead, each person should strive to determine what makes marriage good, and how to make this relationship better. There are many marital myths that Liz addresses including: the exclusivity of the married couple from other relationships (guy and girl friends), the affect of expectations on marital relationships, and the compulsion for completion.

Age Rating: Adult, there are some mature themes about marriage that Liz analyzes.

Favorite Quotes:
The compulsion for completion: "When you become infatuated with somebody, you're not really looking at that person; you're just captivated by your own reflection, intoxicated by a dream of completion that you have projected onto a virtual stranger." (p.101).
On clan life: "Watching the Hmong women interact with each other, I got to wondering whether the evolution of the ever smaller and ever more nuclear Western family has put a particular strain on modern marriages. In Hmong society, for instance, men and women don't spend all that much time together...men's and women's lives are quite firmly separated into the divided realms of their gender-specific tasks. Men work and socialize with other men; women work and socialize with other women" (p.31-32).
Overall Book Rating: If you like journal style writing, then you will enjoy Liz's writing style and perspective. This book is a slower read (mostly because you find yourself dialogging and analyzing the ideas with Liz), but well worth the time and effort. This is an enjoyable book because the author is so open about letting you journey with her through this difficult process in her life. I would definitely recommend it, though it is not the type of book to be appreciated by all (and that's ok).

The book gave interesting facts on the history of marriage whole experiencing Liz's own experience with her second marriage. I thought it was interesting. It wasn't like eat pray love but it was good and made you think more about marriage and what it means. I liked it.

COMMITTED by Elizabeth Gilbert is a follow-up to her runaway bestseller, EAT PRAY LOVE (see also Section 4A).

It takes her from the end of the first book--when she falls in love with Felipe--to their life afterward . . . all was going smoothly until he was detained by the U.S. government, which then gave the couple a choice . . . either they needed to get married or Felipe would never again be allowed to enter into the country.

That became problematic, in that both individuals had said they'd never get married again because of their previous marriages . . . however, as much thought and realizing they didn't have many other options, they did choose the marriage route.

It took them some ten months to cut through all the details that were required and during that time, Gilbert devoted herself to the study of matrimony . . . she read everything she could about the subject and, also, spoke to countless individuals throughout the world.

That was the part about COMMITTEED that I liked least . . . what I liked most were the parts that the author devoted to her life with Felipe . . . I became interested in their lives and enjoyed reading about how Gilbert sought help from one border guard:

* "What would you do now, if you were in our situation," I asked. This is a technique I've learned to use over the years whenever I find myself at an impasse with a dispassionate customer service operator or an apathetic bureaucrat. Phrasing the sentence in such a manner invites the person who has all the power to pause for a moment and put himself in the shoes of the person who is powerless. It's a subtle appeal to empathy. Sometimes it helps. Most of the time, to be honest, it doesn't help at all. But I was willing to try anything here.

I also enjoyed reading about their love story, including this following passage:

* Then Felipe's eyes filled with tears and he said, "Thank you for coming into my life. No matter what happens now, no matter what you decide to do next, just know that you've given me the two most joyful years I've ever known, and I will never forget you."

Lastly, as was the case the first book, there were parts that had me smiling--such as when Gilbert described the issue of wedding gifts:

* As Miss Manners once coolly explained to a reader, the proper technique for congratulating a serial bride-to-be is to eschew all gifts and galas and simply write the lady a note expressing how very delighted you are for her happiness, wishing her all the luck in the world, and being very careful to avoid using the words "this time."

I hope that there's at least a third book about this couple, covering how their life in New Jersey has turned out for them.

I loved Eat Pray Love. This is not Eat Pray Love by any means. It is mildly interesting in places but largely dull and what's worse, Elizabeth Gilbert reads the book herself. She mumbles terribly and speaks very softly throughout. I had to crank it up to high volume to barely hear her mumbling, slightly irritating monotone voice. Do yourself a favor if you really insist on reading / listening to this book and get it at the library!

Embarking on writing a major work after the spectacular Eat, Pray, Love, must have been no easy feat. However, undaunted and honest as ever, Elizabeth Gilbert provides an eye-opening and thorough account of the colossal entity we call marriage. We have all grown up accepting marriage as a given. It seems to be taken as common place that people simply grow up and get married- and then (of course) live happily ever after. Or is it that easy?

Not so fast, Gilbert warns us. Do we completely know what we are getting into? What happens to us as independent beings when we marry? What makes a marriage more likely to succeed, and what makes it more likely to fail? What are the economic, social, and legal ties that bind us and do we even understand the significance of them? How are we able to somehow throw love in the mix as well? Extremely timely and pertinent questions with serious implications. Some of the most interesting and thought provoking aspects of the book- a glimpse into the lives of the Hmong women in Asia (who view marriage not as a solution to all of life's problems and seem to have no qualms whatsoever about this), how marriage was viewed by different religions throughout the centuries- not always so 'sacred', and the way marriage has been used to secure money, power, and property throughout history. Quite simply, Gilbert explains this institution has been pulled, prodded, and changed for centuries- yet still it remains. There is something, then that draws us still to marry. Gilbert (thrown rather harshy into marriage by the US government) walks away with a brokered peace with marriage and a deeper understanding of what it means to be married- as she embarks on her own marriage. The reader has a deeper understanding as well.

As a final note, what is more important if not the subject of who we spend our lives with? Who we share our faith, time, children, money, and precious moments with? As a new mother who married five years ago at the age of 24 (I know this puts me into the danger zone :), this book has given me fuller understanding of what it means to be married and coming to respect my own marriage as an imperfect, changing, and totally lovable creature- much like my own baby son. (Quite simply, the white gown and endless talks about the church and reception hall didn't really matter- the chats we had about faith, child-rearing, navigating our political differences, and in-laws definitely mattered.) It has once been said that 'The unexamined life is not worth living.' Gilbert's book suggests that perhaps an unexamined marriage is not worth having- and I'd agree.

This book is a must read for anyone who has married, is married or plans on getting married. Elisabeth's perspective is stellar. She has done research historically that helps reader's understand today's morays on marriage. She has interviewed people throughout the world on their marriages asking difficult questions of them. Her ability to make you think about your own life choices concerning marriage are stimulating and interesting. She reads Committed in her audiobook version having a voice and talent in reading that is so easy to listen to.

Insightful and informative, all wrapped up in Gilbert's distinctive style of writing which makes the reader feel like she's written a personal letter just of them. Personally, I think this should be mandatory reading for anyone considering marriage. Wouldn't it be great if everyone considered so carefully before they took that giant step?

In Eat, Pray, Love, Gilbert inspired readers by emotionally connecting with them through her personal triumphs and losses. In Committed, her constant bellyaching and condescending attitude distance her from the audience and bury the smattering of noteworthy discourse. By the end of the book, readers will feel more sympathy for her patient husband than the confused and pessimistic Gilbert.

The lack of authority and reliability from the author detracts from the more interesting features of the book, such as the conversations with married women from different cultural backgrounds. She only scratches the surfaces with her interviews and then quickly drops the subject, as if she doesn't know how to process the information. Gilbert readily admits that she is not a "professional academic, nor a sociologist, nor a psychologist, nor an expert on marriage." The jumbled facts and figures presented throughout the book are interesting bits of trivia but also incomplete. For all her rants, interviews, and research, Gilbert achieves no clarity. She remains a skeptic until the end and concludes that marriage has changed throughout history and the dynamics of commitment differ between every couple. It required a journey throughout foreign lands and a year's worth of research to reach such an ironically noncommittal conclusion?

When a couple asks me to help them prepare to get married, the first thing I try to do is talk them out of the decision to marry. At first blush, this idea sounds cynical. I am not cynical about marriage, I am very much in favor of that institution. However, ask anyone who has been married longer than the life of a magazine subscription and, more than likely, they will tell you that marriage is the most difficult thing they have ever attempted. (Most will also tell you there are rewards to this work that far overshadow the work required.) Typically those who want to get married are more interested in the "party" (the wedding ceremony and celebration) than they are what happens after the crowd has gone home, the gifts are stored away and the actual living a life with someone else begins. Should the couple stills want to get married after my efforts (to this point, they ALL have), then we begin an educational process that will end, hopefully, 50+ years later with the death of one of them. I understand and accept that what we discuss in session will not sink in until much later in their relationship, which does not preclude their need to hear the information NOW.

If I could design a premarital "preparation" program that will cause the couple to reflect upon this decision with as much depth, passion, and commitment as Ms. Gilbert has obviously done and relates that experience in this book, I would. Until I do, those who want to get married need to read this book. Herein, she communicates a short history of marriage as it pertains to Contemporary Western culture, what making this commitment means and what is required in order for it to "succeed." The reason for this rather in-depth critique of this long established institution is simple - she is being forced to marry the love of her life by the United States or they will no longer allow him to enter its boarders. Having survived (as has her fiancé, Felipe) a horrendous divorce, the idea of marrying again is something both have sworn not to do. They will be committed to each other deeply, passionately, ethically and in all manners, just not in a way that which, should it be required, would require them to sue (legally divorce) each other before they can end their relationship. Their commitment to each other is going great until U.S. Homeland Security kicks Felipe, a Brazilian who is an Australian citizen, out of the United States because "he has visited too much."
The following year of petitioning the government for a Marriage Visa (the infamous "Green Card") is taxing for the couple as he has to stay out of the U.S. and she is committed to staying with him until she is given permission to marry him. Little is mentioned of the Everest-sized mountain of documents, absurd levels of bureaucracy or the endless waiting they experienced in those ten months (what is said is sufficient to vividly detail their love for each other). The focus of the book is Ms. Gilbert talking herself into what she has already committed within herself to do - marry Felipe. While this is not a self-help or a textbook for marriage, it certainly provides an intelligent reflection of a commitment which is too often idealized without coolly examining the actual "doing" of the commitment. The id-depth exploration of what marriage is, how it got to be there and what will give a couple the best chance of not divorcing once they have made it offered here is but a recommendation of, not a substitute for, the work any couple wanting to marry need to do.
For anyone contemplating marriage, considering the possibility of marriage, is not sure about marriage or who would just like to read a good book, this is a good choice. There are a few "adult" words, but no violence or sexual situations are described. Each chapter is divided into the different foci of marriage, as perceived by Ms. Gilbert: expectations, history, love and infatuation, women's rights, individuality and individuation and the "work" of marriage in a society. Well researched, emotionally present, clearly written and delightfully told this is a book worth reading. It will be included in my "Marriage Bibliography" I hand out to those wanting to marry (and which they largely ignore, I know).

I thought why would I enjoy a book where someone talks throughout about her new relationship and upcoming marriage but actually I did enjoy it and throughout thought about my life, of 72 years and three marriages so new I sights, thinking about things from many years ago as well as today....

Some very interesting facts and ideas about marriage. I felt that the author's personal story woven into the text was distracting. I found myself skipping over much of this, especially after the beginning.

Ok, I'm probably only one of the only women in the U.S. who hasn't read Eat, Pray, Love; that being said, I came into reading Committed with a blank slate opinion of the author and her past experiences. I have to agree with some other reviewers when they say this book is creepily reminiscent of our college sociology textbooks, dissecting and overanalyzing every little minute detail on the concept of marriage. It was all just a bit much, without much lightness to balance it out. It was too much teaching and research, which I guess if you're doing research on marriage, it would be a great resource for you, but otherwise it was pretty darn dry. I admit I am a little biased, having been married and divorced twice now. I did feel a bit silly reading a book on marriage and devoting this much time to it, when I fully intend to never get married again, and yes I get the irony of that being the author's beginnning standpoint as well. She was trying so terribly hard to convince herself that it was alright to get married, it ended up feeling as if "if you have to talk yourself into that much, maybe it really wasn't meant to be after all." I get that she and Felipe feel they were "forced" to marry by Immigration, and boy did it ever feel forced. I hope they get some rewards out of their hard-pressed marriage after all.

I adored Eat, Pray, Love and was very excited to read Committed. Elizabeth Gilbert is an incredibly talented writer. A lot of people say, "It's nothing like Eat, Pray, Love." I don't think that is fair because why should it be? This is a different book. This book is really a history lesson on marriage, which I did find very interesting, however, I think that she does go on too long with the facts and history. I would have liked to read more about her personal adventures with Felipe. I bought the book in hardback (otherwise I would have waited for paperback) because I am going to her talk/signing and that was the price of the ticket. I am really looking forward to seeing her in person.

I was so excited to see that Gilbert had written another book, Committed, I couldn't wait to buy it and read it. Unfortunately I was totally disappointed. This one is certainly not Eat, Love, Pray! It is a monologue on marriage, but a very poor one at that. I was hoping that because Gilbert had spent so much time at the ashram as well as spending time with the wise man in Indonesia that it would have some depth and some spiritual leaning. It has neither. It certainly shows her thought processes about the pros and cons of marriage for her, but none of the meaningful elements that bring depth and sustenance to a marriage of meaning, which I believe she has or I thought she had. It is such a constrast to her first novel that it will take a lot of convincing to buy another of her books, if there is such a one in the future.
Dr Gunta Krumins-Caldwell author of On Silver Wings

Let me start by saying that like everyone else, I loved Eat, Pray, Love. I was excited to get this book and see what the next chapter in her life would be, expecting her witty humor and fun pearly words of wisdom...unfortunatly, it seems that she must have taken a bit of heat in her other book because she is constantly trying to be PC and starts a lot of things with "let me be clear and explain...". I appreciate her difficult time while waiting to come back to the US, but I wish she was able to write from her heart and not try to please everyone. I know in the beginning of the book, she dedicates it to 27 women, but you can almost hear the frustration in her writing, like she is being held back or forced. I still think she is fabulous and I am looking forward to the next book' just hope its all in her own voice :)

This is the sequel to "Eat, Pray, Love." I loved both books. I did the audio book for each. Both were narrated by the author which gave it a conversational feel. She has a an enjoyable voice and style. I strongly suggest you hear "Eat, Pray, Love" first. It's about the author's travel and experiences after her divorce. Toward the end of that book she fell in love with Felipe, a Brazilian-born man of Australian citizenship who'd been living in Indonesia when they met. (I also fell in love with him.) They wanted to live together in the United States, but U.S. Immigration wouldn't allow Felipe to enter the U.S. unless they married. However, they couldn't do this for over a year while waiting on document processing. "Committed" is Elizabeth's research and thinking about what marriage means. It is also about Elizabeth's and Felipe's travel and experiences during their waiting time.

At the end of the first book, I wanted to know what would happen with Felipe and Elizabeth. I loved hearing their story in "Committed" and hearing Elizabeth's research and thoughts about marriage. And I'd like a follow-up maybe ten years later. I believe that "Eat, Pray, Love" will have a wider audience than "Committed." So it's important to read them in order.

One thing I found especially interesting was the author's discussion of the marriage benefit imbalance. Actuarial charts for a long, happy, prosperous existence show several ways marriage benefits men, but not so for women.

I disagree with one reviewer who wrote the following. The reviewer "felt uncomfortable with the amount of very personal information" the author "revealed about her husband and her parents. A confessional approach to one's own life by a memoirist is one thing; to expose and discuss other peoples' intimate feelings and issues seems exploitative." I disagree. I loved hearing all of this. The same reviewer also wrote "this gives the book a talky, chatty quality that does not translate well to the written page. There are too many "anyways", redundancies and extraneous phrases." It worked well for me, maybe because I did the audio book instead of the written book. For other reasons indicated in my review of "Eat, Pray, Love" I recommend both books as audio books over the written books.

Data:
Copyright: 2010. Genre: memoirs, nonfiction relationships marriage and travel.

Exactly what I was looking for. A compelling reflection on marriage across generations and cultures.

I am recently engaged and reflecting on the type of marriage that my fiance and I want to build. We are both nearing 30 and have built our own separate lives. My parents' marriage (and natsy divorce) leave me doubting my instincts. What happens when two lives become one? How do we let go of our fears and make this commitment, when we aren't sure what a healthy, happy marriage looks like?

Elizabeth Gilbert's attempts to methodically research the institution of marriage and philosophies surrounding it as they pertain to many women's experiences. My fiance and I listened to the audiobook on a road trip and found it an amazing source of conversation for weeks afterward. I had to listen to it a second time, just to really absorb some of the beautiful quotes she came across and ruminate in depth on some of the topics.

From book-review website, Bibliobuffet:

"Committed is part memoir and part cultural studies book, giving detailed information on the past and present situation of legal marriages throughout the world. Gilbert points out that marrying for love instead of necessity is a fairly new concept in history, and many countries still believe a marriage has nothing to do with the romantic compatibility of both partners. Gilbert researches a variety of marriage customs and arrangements, the most amusing being an ancient Roman marriage tradition that is still practiced today. When a man asks a woman to marry him in some Roman neighborhoods, he serenades her at her window and the entire town joins in, just like a real-life movie musical. There are singing parts for the man, the woman, and the townspeople, who must each collectively beg Rome not to "be an idiot tonight" and allow these two individuals to find love, Broadway style."

More of this review here: [...]

Teaser Summary: Liz Gilbert spends a year traveling through Italy, India, and Bali focusing on developing herself outside of her need for relationships. By the end of her travels she can for the first time in her life say that she feels complete in her own identity. Then, she meets a great ex-patriot and friendship quickly turns to love. The couple, both being burned through ugly divorces vow never to remarry. That is, until the United States government decides that Felipe has used too many '90 day stay' visas to the U.S., and forbid him to enter the country again...unless he and Liz marry. But, can Liz make peace with her distrust of marriage?

Similar Titles/Authors: I'm not familiar enough with this genre to recommend anything similar.

Review: I am a counseling major, and as such I enjoy books that involve people actively reflecting about their lives and the world. I especially am interested in relational and marriage counseling, and have struggled with my uncertainty of the ideas of marriage due to divorces experienced around me. I really enjoyed the previous journey of Liz's, and I couldn't wait to read the next phase of her life.

Basically, this text is written will stuck in limbo traveling through other countries, forbidden to return to the United States (or returning without Felipe), awaiting the day when all of the embassy and political paperwork will go through so the two can wed. Through this two year period Liz asks any locals she meets about their marriage customs, interviews family and friends, and has her sister send her books about marriage. She also studies the history of marriage around the world and the United States. She does this research admitting that she is not trained in those type of studies. I do not agree with all of her ideas or conclusion, but I enjoy watching her work through the topics that she discusses.

Life Application: There are so many divorces today that many people are afraid to get married (myself included at one point). However, the truth is that I think society is finally starting to see through the myths of love and marriage that have become popular. Instead, each person should strive to determine what makes marriage good, and how to make this relationship better. There are many marital myths that Liz addresses including: the exclusivity of the married couple from other relationships (guy and girl friends), the affect of expectations on marital relationships, and the compulsion for completion.

Age Rating: Adult, there are some mature themes about marriage that Liz analyzes.

Favorite Quotes:
The compulsion for completion: "When you become infatuated with somebody, you're not really looking at that person; you're just captivated by your own reflection, intoxicated by a dream of completion that you have projected onto a virtual stranger." (p.101).
On clan life: "Watching the Hmong women interact with each other, I got to wondering whether the evolution of the ever smaller and ever more nuclear Western family has put a particular strain on modern marriages. In Hmong society, for instance, men and women don't spend all that much time together...men's and women's lives are quite firmly separated into the divided realms of their gender-specific tasks. Men work and socialize with other men; women work and socialize with other women" (p.31-32).
Overall Book Rating: If you like journal style writing, then you will enjoy Liz's writing style and perspective. This book is a slower read (mostly because you find yourself dialogging and analyzing the ideas with Liz), but well worth the time and effort. This is an enjoyable book because the author is so open about letting you journey with her through this difficult process in her life. I would definitely recommend it, though it is not the type of book to be appreciated by all (and that's ok).

The book gave interesting facts on the history of marriage whole experiencing Liz's own experience with her second marriage. I thought it was interesting. It wasn't like eat pray love but it was good and made you think more about marriage and what it means. I liked it.

Another fine read from Ms. Gilbert...and a very informative discussion of what marriage has meant over many, many generations and cultures....and why we still have a love/hate relationship with it. Great stuff!!

In the foreword, the author said she had destroyed one manuscript and started over. This one feels a bit sketchy and unfocused. There are some great stories here, but mostly, she retreats into theory instead of focusing on the reality of a what it means to build a real, long-term relationship. I wonder if she felt uncomfortable writing about her relationship once she was planning to marry? That might explain why it felt too cerebral and less heartfelt.

Eat, Pray, Love was like a torte. I savored every rich page and in fact delayed reading the final few chapters, as I never wanted the adventure, the jokes, the insights to end. As I'm sure Elizabeth Gilbert was keenly and painfully aware, that sort of appeal is nigh-impossible to top--or follow.

She could have simply kept going, stitching together outtakes from EPL into a second act that readers would have hungrily devoured. But to her credit, she was attempting to grow stylistically as a writer, satiate her intellectual curiosity, and share the results of her research. However, as with any monograph, as fascinating as the information uncovered may be, there's little plot. Here we enter Wait, Think, Wait territory. Gilbert has embodied the Hanged Man of the tarot deck, on a trip through the hell via a holding pattern in the airspace of Homeland Security. However, as maddening and frightening this place is, it doesn't offer enough of the sort of dramatic trajectory that made EPL famous. To make matters worse, Gilbert opts to lose her narrative tension almost immediately when she tells us that ultimately she will marry. A little "will she or won't she?" could have bought her some momentum.

Gilbert's forte are her interviews with people of other cultures, often those bearing scant resemblance to modern-day America's, such as the Hmong of Vietnam. I greatly admire her ability to establish instant rapport with her interview subjects. It is here where she sparkles most brilliantly, and here where I wish she'd lingered longer, as in EPL.

But curiously, Gilbert foregoes the luster of her real-world anecdotes to lead with extended passages about the history of marriage. And despite some fascinating facts, they seem to go on for many pages at a time, with little of her trademark humor. The "Marriage and History" chapter is 32 pages long, tossed in right as she starts to get some traction and grinding things to the halt like a droning Sunday sermon. It's sad because this could have been a reasonably quick fix. Her research simply needed to be assimilated more, spoken through her own lovely voice, and lavishly punctuated with examples from her globetrotting.

As Gilbert's editor, I would have sent her back to the parts that really sing: Her obvious affection for people and fascination with other cultures. Her capacity to sort through the noise and cull her own truths, after assimilating the perspectives of others. And her ability to turn our cherished paradigms on their ears by presenting radically different points of view. I will say that she does do some of the latter when she interviews the Hmong women, who seem to possess few romanticized notions about marriage--or the specialness of personal identity overall. To these people, "one man is the same as the next." They seemingly can't even grasp how a woman would fall in love with a man's specific qualities or personal za za zsu. They simply don't differentiate themselves from others--a fascinating concept, especially for Westerners hung up on their own personal punch lists of traits they bring to the party and those they can't live without. And, as Gilbert discovers, these marriages tend to endure far longer than ones driven by love and personal preference. As odd as it may seem, arranged marriages statistically stand a better chance of lasting. And thus, she worries--and worries and worries--that her own marriage to Felipe may not.

I really started to perk up about 2/3 of the way through, when Gilbert takes a sudden left turn, becoming much more personal, as she sifts the marriages and child-rearing experiences of her matrilineage. The excellent questions she raises about what constitutes happiness and satisfaction within the confines of marriage and rearing children provoke much thought, as they ask what we sacrifice or subsume in order to sustain a long-term marriage or family.

Despite its strengths, Committed has still left me a bit cold, and I can't tell if that's because I so adored its predecessor or due to its blatantly patched-together quality. I found myself wondering why her editor had apparently fallen asleep on the job.

I'm convinced this is a must read for those about to make a big step down the isle. This was not at all like this first book; however, it was must more introspective in some ways and extremely educational. You have to walk into it knowing that Elizabeth Gilbert wasn't interested in marriage so if you know where she's coming from you can take some of what she says a little easier. However, it also opens up your eyes to really and truly getting to know your partner and all the reasons marriages fail. Gilbert also explores why marriages succeed too. It's a slow-er read; however, it's really a great read for those who are newly engaged. (Although, I'm not sure I'd give it as a present unless you're the mom or a very, very close Aunt.)

EPL quickly became one of my favorite books after I read it last year. I could not put it down - I felt that I was on my own personal journey with Elizabeth Gilbert as we ate our way through Italy, found our spirituality in India, and finally discovered our inner strength, calm and romance in Indonesia. Committed does not have the same carefree lithe that EPL possessed. This is not a journey through the selfish world of self-discovery, which made EPL a fast and ravenous read. Committed still describes Gilbert's inner thoughts, questions, concerns and "ah-ha!" moments, but she also takes a step outside of herself, making a place for Felipe's feelings and views as well, and really digging deep into the cultural, moral, religious, and historical facts about marriage. As someone who is struggling not to be a marriage skeptic at the moment, I devoured this book. Anyone struggling with thoughts on committed relationships and marriage could benefit from its wisdom - we live in an age when 50% of all unions end in divorce. Despite all warnings, historical evidence, and other cautions, people are still jumping into marriages, feet first. Committed takes a very honest look at the reasons why, and in the end, I know I felt more optimistic about the subject than not. Those who are not struggling with this topic may find Committed a bit more lackluster. In either case, no one can argue that Gilbert is a gifted writer - her prose easily flows from one thought and topic to the next, in verbiage that keeps you informed and interested.

I absolutely loved this book! As a woman who has been married for 38 years, it was so interesting to read about Elizabeth Gilbert's experience in coming to terms with her marriage. I learned a lot and enjoyed the process. You should read it!

Following her successful Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert chucked what she wrote next, and tried again. The result, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage, comes through as a clear and confident voice that examines and explores matrimony. There's no escape from the irony that this author who concluded that marriage was not for her turns around and gets married. Isn't life like that? This book explores what brought Gilbert into matrimony and how entering this institution can be a great way to live.

Rating: Three-star (Recommended)

I realllllly liked this 2nd book from Elizabeth Gilbert. She takes a deep look at marriage customs from around the world and from different times. I learned a lot of information about marriage that I never knew! I learned about religion (s) and customs. It's more surprising then i though! I recommend this book for any person scared of marriage.
The only reason I didn't give it 5 stars is because the author repeats herself sometimes a bit too much in sentences. Most of the time it helps and clarifies, but very often it is a little irritating.
Ultimately we learn that marriage survives because the institution of marriage adapts to US, not the other way around. It all finally makes sense!

As a woman who recently got engaged, this book touches me on a level that might not for other people. In the book Elizabeth Gilbert discusses not only the ever changing worldly interpretation of what marriage is for and the cultural implications of such, but also dives into her families history of marriage in a blunt, open and honest way. I understand that this might not appeal to all people, but for me, getting married in 8 some odd months, it raised a lot of interesting questions. Getting married in a culture that boosts a 50% divorce rate, marriage can seem like a scary thing to get into. Coming from a family that has a long history of long marriages, it was hard for me to understand the makings of a divorce (which made divorce that much more of a scary thing for me), which made me want to understand marriage on a deeper level.

Elizabeth Gilbert does just that in this book. A mix of both historical accounts, as well as her own and her family's own experience with the concept of marriage, she guides the reader through a non-judgemental, honest view of what marriage is defined as(past and present, eastern culture vs. western culture and everything in between). Yes, her book does get conversational at some points, which might turn off some readers, but for me, it allowed me to think about these not always black and white issues in a comfortable way. It encouraged me to ask my mother and grandmother about their experiences in marriage and prepared me to not necessarily get the answer that I expected (and, let's face it, wanted to hear). Growing up in a house of a history of good marriage doesn't necessarily mean that it is an easy thing to do, but that is what you see as a child. Gilbert made me look at marriage from adult eyes and not the innocent eyes of my childhood.

The best thing I have taken away from reading this book, is the encouragement to openly discuss what marriage is with my loved ones in an open and honest way. It is not so much a story, but an educational tool, told by your best friend about what it means to be married and the unspoken expectations that comes along with the white-dress and the ring. They say communication is key in a good marriage, but Elizabeth Gilbert demonstrates that communication is also key in whether marriage is right for you or not.

Elizabeth Gilbert's memoir "Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage" begins when a U.S. Government Official detains Felipe, Elizabeth's boyfriend, at an American border crossing. They were given a choice: either get married or Felipe would never be allowed to enter the country again.
Since they were sentenced to marry Elizabeth decided it's time to confront her fears and make peace with the idea of matrimony before she jumped into it again.
For the next ten months, while traveling in Southeast Asia with Felipe, a man seventeen years her senior, Elizabeth researched, wrote and talked to others about the befuddling, vexing, contradictory yet stubbornly enduring institution of marriage.
With great wit, wisdom, insight and compassion Elizabeth, at age 37, researched the history of western monogamous marriage and examined the questions of compatibility, fidelity, risk and responsibility.
Her inspirational stories speak to our souls. I particularly resonated with Elizabeth and Felipe's flagging morale after six months of no movement on his immigration case. Separated from his gemstone and jewelry import business in America, Felipe was unable to earn money or make plans.
Feeling powerless and totally dependent on Elizabeth and the U.S. Department of Homeland Security
he became increasingly jittery, irritable and ominously tense. Elizabeth buried her own frustrations under a sunny demeanor. Their tension reached a peak on a twelve-hour bus ride through Laos to an archaeological site. Elizabeth's writing soars in her vivid descriptions of their conflict and the bus ride. Felipe became numb to the unbearable heat and the manic aggression and near collisions of the bus driver who almost dumped them over cliffs.
Trying to defuse the tension Elizabeth tried some practical strategies from her past to resolve the dispute. Felipe finally broke through their heated silence by taking her hand and suggesting they be careful. "Being careful" is their code for practicing preemptive conflict resolution. He explained how when people get tired fights happen. Choosing words carefully can arrest an argument before it begins.
Her insight, honesty and openness about their relationship is breathtaking.
Elizabeth's observation that most of us have a "default emotion" is fascinating. She shared how her Cambodian guide had a default emotion of quiet disapproval. After two days she could barely open her mouth she felt so foolish, pathetic and bloodless.
She uses the story of her own life to explore why many American's get married and divorced more often than any other nation. She says American society believes in two completely contradictory ideas about marriage. Both have their origins in ancient Greek and Hebrew thinking. From the Greeks we inherited our ideas about secular humanism, the sanctity of individual democracy, equality, personal liberty, scientific reason, intellectual freedom and open mindedness. From the Hebrews we inherited tribalism, faith, obedience and respect. The Hebrew credo is clannish, patriarchal, moralistic, ritualistic and suspicious of outsiders. The collective is more important than the individual, morality is more important than happiness and vows are inviolable. Hebrew thinking sees the world as a clear play between good and evil, right and wrong with God firmly on "our" side. There's no gray area. Elizabeth says American society is an amalgam of both. Our legal code and sense of fairness is mostly Greek and our moral code and sense of justice in mostly Hebrew.
"Committed" is a passionate, intelligent, important book written by a woman who knows suffering and redemption. Her story is our story in it's rich humanity, humor and zest for life.

This is a compelling, but fun book. It's a book where you can learn something, a book that makes you reflect on marriage, particularly your own marriage, and how marriage fits into life. I loved the history of marriage, the information on how other cultures and women see marriage, I liked the story about her own parents' marriage, and how Gilbert threw in statistics and studies. I thought it was a complete book, informative and entertaining. As for a book group discussion book, that would be a yes. I think this book would forge some really personal conversations between book members, and hopefully no arguments where anything is thrown.

Yes, it is not Eat, Pray, Love the sequel and she expresses that more than enough in the book. I personally, as a 33 year old single woman found it incredibly interesting. She did a lot of research on marriage, how it came about, the changes it went through over millennia... It was thought provoking, and it really helped me with questions I've had about love, and why do people get together if they don't want kids, or to keep up with the Jones', etc. I think she comes across as authentic, and I really appreciated her honesty, and her sharing of intimate moments, as well as the sharing of her very own private fears. I want to thank her for this book. She made many valid and interesting points. I think young women who are considering marriage should read this, not to talk themselves out of it, but to make sure they've really thought it through. It's not a fairy tale after all; it's your life.

Interesting information on the history of marriage. This is a deeply personal story about the decision to marry and what it means to be committed to another. Being recently married for the second time I related to this book but, for others it might be less relatable.

Reading this book was kind of like falling in love with a beautiful woman and then as you get to know her better, realizing sh's not a very nice person. I enjoyed Eat Pray Love. I think Elizabeth Gilbert is a good writer. But in Committed she comes across as just a very selfish, self involved narcissist and I got tired of her very quickly. This is a woman who apparently was unable to fathom why her grandmother valued her children over her expensive red coat and doesn't think it's a priority for her fiance's children (from a previous marriage) to attend their father's wedding. If those kinds of values appeal to you, maybe you will like the book. I didn't.

This book is wonderful. I was not a lover of 'Eat Pray Love', (I enjoyed it, but felt that Gilbert lacked self awareness), but this book was simply wonderful. A treatise on marriage, analyzing it from numerous different perspectives (historical, philosophical, religious, feminist etc), she presents an examination of the institution that so defines our modern-day family unit. I particularly loved the way she wrote about gay marriage. This was a surprisingly wonderful book that I highly recommend. Gilbert has a great narrative voice, and is a really skilled storyteller.

I will start by saying I never read Eat Pray Love, which may give me a unique perspective on this book as I had no expectations of what I thought it should be or not be. Elizabeth Gilbert was scheduled to come speak at a woman's talk forum that I have tickets to, so I thought it would be a good idea to pick up her latest book.

I am completely blown away by the quality of humor, and emotional insight in Committed. It does read a bit more like a piece of journalism than it does an adventure, but if you want a deeper understanding of the history of marriage, infatuation, divorce, marital and roles this is the best book I have seen out there. I was divorced when I was 25, and am now remarried in my 30s, and by reading this book I realized how much deep down confusion I still had about divorce. The book reads like a good girlfriend, who is letting you know everything you wished someone was able to tell you in your early 20s, about finding love in modern America - taking some of the lessons from our ancestors, and what happiness means in marriage. With so many surface ideals of what love is adding natural confusion into modern day marriage, I found committed real and genuine including information that I may have already learned a little bit about elsewhere, but presented in a way that created many 'ah ha' moments as I was reading (and even a few out loud gasps). Thanks Elizabeth for taking the time and effort to dig into an important topic with such depth and meaning.

My title refers to both the author and the would-be reader. Times are, apparently, changing, and perhaps not for the best. Those readers who did not understand or like "Committed," all seemed to be under 40. They showed little depth or experience with life and even complained about the "introspection" of the book. When I was in college, that word was high praise. Had they known themselves better they might have grasped the fact that this book is an inner-outer report of one woman's research on marriage and its history. It's a gentle guide by a gentle woman, someone who is perhaps a little more sensitive than the average -- as most writers are. If you do not have that sensitivity in your own soul, you will not recognize it in another's and therefore think they are over-reacting when, in fact, they are merely being normal --for them.

This book is actually much better written than Eat Pray Love. It is heartening to see that Gilbert has improved so much. It is easier to follow and the sentences flow better. It has more honesty in it as well. I would wish every woman on the planet could read this book, especially before she gets married. It's that comprehensive and meaningful.

As for Gilbert knowing herself, she does an admirable job at trying. What she fails to consider, possibly, is that she takes for granted that others will see her as she sees herself. This brings about miscommunication. Maybe in her mind she is writing for a certain group of knowledgeable friends who share her mindset. That's fine if you want to limit your readership. Perhaps if she took into consideration the many readers who do not share her mindset she might explain why something gave her such wrenching pain instead of just assuming her readers will understand. She might tell us what makes her different from another who is not full of pain in the same situation. But, let's face it, opening up your heart and soul for strangers is not an easy task. One is always measuring if one has gone too far or not far enough. Personally, I'd like to see Gilbert go just a little further.

This book is well-worth the reading, not only for Gilbert's story, but also for the stories she ties into hers along the way. I really loved the perspective provided by her on marriage over time and how we "got this way." I look forward to her next project.

Maybe it's where my life is but Committed provided much more food for thought than Eat, Pray, Love. I gauge a book's success on how often I am bursting to share something from it. In this case, every 10 minutes I felt itchy to write something down or call one of my girlfriends or make my husband listen to another sparkling point. I'm on my second listen, the paper copy of the book is on the way, and I have a list of authors Gilbert references in her research to read on my own.

I appreciate her self-deprecating sense of humor, her acknowledgement of the complications of everything she discusses, and her analyzing the different points of view in relationships. I don't find this cumbersome or boring - it's intellectually stimulating. In my favorite fiction, this is analogous to enjoying the flawed but ultimately good, solid characters and their trials, strivings and motivations. I take life lessons from those characters.

So if you are a plot-driven type of reader, this type of book may not be your cup of tea. However, dive in if you enjoy character-driven stories or books about social sciences and psychology.

I found Committed to be part memoir (a continuation of her love story with Felipe), part marriage manifesto, part feminist pronouncement and part self-help marriage manual. I loved every part of it. Gilbert's writing is clear and funny and convincing. It was what drew so many people to Eat, Pray, Love.

This really is a book for women, and it is a book about marriage through the ages and what marriage can mean for women. One part that took my breath away was her recounting of her Grandmother Maud's story. Equally as impressive was her own mother's story, and I got a little teary eyed at the end when she finally reunions with her lover after some weeks a part. As someone who endeavors to write myself, I feel like Gilbert makes the act of writing seem so easy and so profound.

Make no mistake, this is a very different story than the book that brought her so much attention, but the writing and the ideas and even the story are as captivating and worth your time as ever.

I loved Eat, Pray, Love. So there was no question I had to read its sequel. I have to say, I loved COMMITTED so much that I read it TWICE. I am actually considering going back and reading it a third time with a highlighter. As someone who also got married before the age of 25 and also divorced by 30 and ALSO (I am not making this up) swore off the institution of marriage only to fall in love with and marry an older man from southern Brazil, Elizabeth Gilbert's "Committed" has answered so many of my questions and lingering anxieties about my own experience. As an artist, I also really appreciate and understand her need to write a book for 27 people as opposed to writing a best-selling book for millions of fans. How does one intentionally do the latter anyway? I don't know how well this book will sell or how popular it will be. But I respect the fact that Liz Gilbert wrote this book for herself and the need to understand her own process, and given that 50% of all marriages in America end in divorce, I suspect I am not the only one who will find comfort and understanding within its pages.

"Committed" is a natural sequel to EPL. Elizabeth Gilbert's EPL is her path to recovery from divorce.

Most folks who have been divorced are highly reluctant to trot down the aisle again. . .will we be more successful this time?

Gilbert and "Felipe" were broke and broken at the end of their first marriages. They were gun-shy until the INS got out the shotgun.

The book is equal part examination of how the US government can create havoc in people's most intimate relationships as it is an examination of what it takes to have an enduring marriage and to experience unconditional love and true intimacy.

If you are looking for a starry-eyed romantic look at love, this isn't the book for you.

But, if you are serious about creating an enduring, mature, loving, intimate relationship, this book will give you much to ponder and discuss with the love of your life. It would be an excellent gift for any engaged couple.

I finished this book in pretty much one go. The subject is interesting and the material well composed. She's witty as before and kept a keen eye on her surroundings, both physical and emotional. And I share many of the same thoughts as the author on the theme of marriage, love and being-a-woman-in-this-day-and-age. Glad to see I'm not alone and certainly there are people (smart ones too!) share these views.

Having said that, I must admit I could not get over the fact that she used the term 'moreover' 5 times a page. There are also passages that are repetitive and scattered. Where is the good editor when you need one? Hope it's not because she had to rush the book out so that nobody else read it before the final print!

I think this book is not only important for women who fall victim to the "fairy tale" view of marriage. I also think it is important for men as well to understand the history behind marriage. Most of us engage in traditions blindly without ever questioning it's validity. Once we do, we start to realize that traditions are nothing more than man made rituals that only hold weight because we choose to agree that it's heavy.

Elizabeth did a great job by injecting her views on marriage, what she was going through being put in a position to marry again against her instinct to do so and exploring the idea of marriage within other cultures. Not only was it a great read, it was an interesting read.

Ms. Elizabeth

I am into about 30 pages of Committed and love it even more than Eat,Pray,Love. Why? Knowing your story and your motivation from before this book is really helpful in understanding what marriage could be about (wasn't that the intention of all of us?), other than "great expectations" after "great wedding" thing.

Thank you! For someone in a 12 year old commitment this is insightful and just so fun to read!
Love,

A good mix of historical/sociological analysis on marriage and personal reflection. I still think men benefit far more from the institution of marriage than women.... but perhaps that has more to do with my personal reflections than the institution itself

I wasn't a fan of Eat, Pray, Love -- I was so bored hearing Gilbert tell us how great everyone thinks she is. So I approached Committed thinking I might finally see what she said others saw in her. I still don't get it. It's like being talked to death by someone who thinks she's much more clever, worldly, and entertaining than she is. Enough already about what's in it for you, Liz. You do realize that there are other people out here, don't you?

I read this book 3 years ago during my divorce and have re-read it now as I am looking at the possibility of remarrying. Gilbert's easy style and interesting research makes this a very helpful and enjoyable read. Her insight and observations are honest and inspiring. I recommend it, especially the second time around.

We all know how much EPL touched the feminine spirit. "Committed" is much more historically based and less "let's see what happens today" than EPL, and thus, it feels heavier. Some chapters read like text books, others are more spirited (when she writes about herself, her family, the people she meets, etc). Any true fans of Gilbert will hear her intelligent, inquisitive, self-deprecating voice. However, the book has a more serious tone than EPL. I'll admit, there were some pages where I felt irritated and wanted to say, "Hey, Felipe's a great guy! Stop whining about marriage!" But she had me in her grasp by the book's end. Not EPL, (a tough act to follow), but worth reading!

wow,nice informative book on the ins and outs of being a non us citizen trying to just marry a citizen of the u.s.-assume all the facts were true on history of marriage etc. and gave me pause to think what this thing called marriage is all about-

Reading Liz Gilbert is like savoring a long letter from your smartest, coolest girlfriend. Committed is a departure from her previous book (and she's written several other successful books, which allowed her to make the adventure-filled and healing voyages she wrote about in Eat Pray Love).

People generally have strong feelings about Eat Pray Love - they love it or they really don't love it. I first spotted a recommendation for it in Philadelphia Magazine and was later given a copy by a friend who thought I could use it at the time. Boy, was she right. If you can't relate to Liz's struggles and triumphs, you have probably not ever been divorced.

Liz is now fully recovered from her divorce, well, she would say, as recovered as you can be, though it took years. Committed is part sociology and part-autobiography, an explanation of how she ended up married again after swearing off matrimony forever, as did her new partner. She deals with setbacks not only by traveling but by researching - in this case, a good sifting of marriage customs throughout history.

The parts about the women in her family are fascinating examples of what women in different generations have had to deal with as feminism blossomed in the twentieth century. If you have not read Stephanie Coontz's book Marriage: A History (which I keep meaning to), you will find this an eye-opening challenge to common beliefs about marriage, and you will learn how many of them evolved, when the church became involved in marriage, and what amazingly tolerant customs exist in other countries, such as Iran.

Some interesting tidbits: As soon as people stop marrying for pragmatic reasons (such
as family mergers, economics, and community pressures) and start marrying for love, divorce rates soar. Second marriages are not statistically doomed after all. A Rutgers study listing the seven features enduring marriages have in common will have you taking inventory of your current and past relationships. Surprisingly, one element that does not improve a marriage is having children at home -- the study found that higher-satisfaction marriages involve children who are grown or no children.

Another survey noted that the quality young women most want in a husband is his ability to "inspire" them, whereas the wished-for qualities in the 1920s were more commonly "decency" or the ability to provide. And have you heard about the Marriage Benefit Imbalance? It's not good news for women, since marriage statistically puts them behind in terms of health, wealth, happiness, risk for violence, and life expectancy, while doing just the opposite for men. So why do so many women want it so much? The author attempts to answer this too.

Thank you, Liz, for pointing out the common sense reasons for legalizing gay marriage. That only made me like her more.

I enjoyed the unusual format of non-fiction mixed with personal story and look forward to seeing this author at the Free Library. I think I would enjoy anything by Elizabeth Gilbert because of her warmth and wit, her ability to admit her own failings, and her creative ways of tackling both interesting subjects as well as life's challenges.

To begin with Committed is barely what anybody would consider to be a follow up to EPL. If you were in love with EPL and were just looking for an extension to where her story had left off, you won't find it here. Committed is a weak compilation of her research on marriage and her whiny diatribes on why she isn't fit for the institution. I barely got through this and kicked and screamed the whole time.

There is no way that this book can truly even be defined as a memoir. In all reality this would have made a better diary entry than literary work. Don't read this book just to satisfy your nostalgia of EPL, you may ruin it.

I greatly anticipated the arrival of this book after my wonderful experience reading EPL. I couldn't imagine our "friend" Liz writing anything less absorbing and relatable than Eat, Pray, Love.
Unfortunately, except for a few passages about her and Felipe that had the same quality of Eat, Pray, Love, the book reads like a never ending rumination of a woman terrified of marriage and trying desperately to convince herself that she can actually endure entering a marriage again. I felt like I was reading a long, tedious, dissertation on marriage. It was not entertaining.
What I find odd is that she is admittedly in love with Felipe. The relationship and bond has already occurred. The loss or failure of any intimate relationship is painful whether one if married or not. So why the never ending, on and on resistance and analysis.
I certainly wish Liz and Felipe a happy life together and I wish in the future Liz would stick with what she does best which is writing about her own personal experiences in her own gifted voice that seems to resonate with so many.
I am still a Liz Gilbert fan and am sorry for this brief detour she has taken away from her true talent.

Gilbert's voice is continually lovely, informative and sometimes laugh out loud funny.

This book really helps to illuminate the de-valuazation that can happen to the SELF in marriages and when caring for children (which in our history both have fallen typically on women).

The historical facts, which some non-sensical findings are only from years ago, are sometimes down right shocking.

Loved it. Love her. Love myself.

I absolutely could not put this book down just like I couldn't with eat,pray, love. I am seperated now and it really helped me get through it and understand my situation better. I love the history and her story telling. I could continue to read about her life. I loved it and recommend to friends. I can't wait to see eat, pray, love in the theatre!

I was glad to see that many myths about marriage are being exposed again. We still romanticize this problematic institution, which is often not what cultural hyperbole would have us believe. It seems most young women buy into the romanticized version of marriage, feeling this solidifies their cultural status in some way.

As a divroced woman, I LOVED this book. I have to say I've had some of the same struggles coming to grips with the idea of getting married again. The information and journey that she provides and writes about in this book is not the same as EPL for sure. But I loved it just as much. :)

I enjoyed Eat, Pray, Love and I also enjoyed this book from Elizabeth Gilbert.

This book is an exploration and analysis of marriage and its ever changing ways. There is a lot of research done for this book, but I mostly enjoyed the author's own personal stories and thoughts about her relationship and,of course, her own fear of the whole institution of marriage.

A well written book.

I find it insulting (maybe insulting is a harsh word...disappointing, maybe?) to readers that Ms. Gilbert or "Mrs. Brazilian Felipe" can change the way she portrays herself in two memoirs and expect the readers to embrace it.

In Eat, Pray, Love, Liz portrayed herself as a spiritual person looking to better herself after self destructing (although I didn't feel that way about her situation until reading Committed) her first marriage. The readers loved her yearning for self discovery; some to the point where they tried to copy her exact route in order to find the same balance at the ending. In Committed, the only way Liz portrays herself is as a selfish, childish, feminist, nonconformist who can't fathom complying to any set of rules.

The first half of Committed is mostly history and statistics which being a history and religious buff, I highly enjoyed... and then Liz seeped through. Not in a spiritual, guided way; but that of a 3 year old child having a temper tantrum because she can't have things her way.

This book was a disappointment. Not just in her obsessive quoting, statistics and random ramblings about things she has read on the history of matrimony but a disappointment to readers who read EPL and mistook her childish escape to these countries as a search for self discovery.

Liz didn't go to Italy, India and Indonesia in EPL for spiritual guidance or to better herself. She went to hide in these places from the difficulties of divorce and didn't go back until she thought the "coast was clear."

Then after she left it all behind, she once again found something else she could rant and complain about....Marriage. Which is exactly what this book is: A childish rant, trying to justify her reasons to avoid conforming to the norm of marriage and parenting.

I have mixed feelings about this book. On the one hand, it seemed like it took the author a very time to reach a pretty obvious conclusion. On the other hand, I rather liked the writing style. The author seems like a pleasant enough person, and some of her observations are interesting. I'm not sorry I read it, but I probably won't bother to read any more books by this author.

I read 'Eat, Pray, Love' and thought that was the best I had ever read (you can see my review of it for more details). And then I read 'Committed' and it is THE most amazing book EVER. It is so insightful, truly a life-changing book that you will love reading (not like a self-help book). I don't usually write things that make me sound like a crazy, fanatic person, but this book left me awe-struck. I learned so much about myself by learning with Elizabeth. And her wonderful humor still shines through.

Any woman over the age of 20 who has ever been, is, or hopes to be in love MUST read this book. It is THE best book I have EVER read. You will find yourself, your sister, you mother in these pages. It is truly incredible. If you are single or with someone, lesbian or straight, religious or not, do not miss this book. (Guys, it might not hurt for you to read it, too, if you have a 'modern' woman in your life.)

I LOVED Eat Pray Love. As you've probably heard, this is totally different. It's her musings, interviews and a history of marriage. Her thoughts - such as how people in their 20's who get married tend to spend more time thinking about the wedding venue than how they'll live together for the rest of their lives - would be a great advice essay. But as a book, it definitely doesn't grab you.

When I first read Eat Pray Love, I was awe inspired. But I was also kind of young and hadn't done any traveling or "soul searching" on my own so I thought it was amazing and inspiring. However, even though I am still young, I have a little more "life experience" under my belt and I now view that book with a tainted eye...Elizabeth Gilbert is pretty whiny! Is her life really *that* bad?

I know this review is for Committed, and not EPL, but had to say that to explain my opinion on Committed. My sister bought me this for my birthday, remembering I had enjoyed EPL, but it sat on my bookshelf for a long time. I just didn't have a huge desire to reacquaint myself with the author and had a feeling it would be whiny again. However, I recently got a Kindle and as this was the last unread physical book on my shelf, I decided to "ceremoniously" read it as kind of a "farewell" to physical books.

At first I kind of liked it and found myself intrigued--I had the impression she would talk more about Eastern marriages. However, like a lot of reviewers have already said--boy does she whine!!! The situation she and her now husband found themselves in was most likely pretty annoying but I found the method she went about handling the entire problem silly. And I say problem because she made it out to be a huge, painful one.

1. If you are THAT against remarrying--why are you INSISTING on living in the US? Why not resettle in Australia? It isn't like their only options were to live in the US OR live in the middle of the jungle in Laos...there are plenty of options available to a self employed writer and a self employed jeweler?

2. Even in EPL I still do not understand what was so horrible about her first marriage to make her crumble on the ground in pain all the time, or to make her this "shattered, shaking, fragile" thing that could in no way find happiness in a different marriage with a different man. It appears she was never abused. It may be because I am young (mid twenties) and haven't been married yet, but I just find myself rolling my eyes when she goes on and on about her awful and painful marriage and how she collapsed on the bathroom floor and.... it just seemed over the top dramatic.

Anyway enough of my rant. I am one of those people who feels obligated to finish a book once she starts it, so I dutifully read it, and am now a little relieved it is over.

I did find some points she said about marriage interesting, and the teeny bit of insight about others and some of the SE Asian cultures rather than herself was interesting as well. That's about it.

Elizabeth's Gilbert's voice has matured since Eat, Pray, Love, and I appreciate the research on marriage that she has done. She interweaves that research with her own personal story. Find out why marriage is a subversive activity!

This book and the one before (30 Days) should have been combined into one book and edited. Storyline was interesting, but too much description of things that weren't interesting. I didn't really care about the characters. The ex husband was not as menacing as I thought he would have been

Why should we or shouldn't we marry? Is a piece of paper that states we are married truly define our commitment to one another? I like Gilbert's approach to examining marriage. It is deep and thought-provoking and makes us examine our own belief system. When it comes to relationships, another book you might want to consider isThe Art of Managing Everyday Conflict: Understanding Emotions and Power Struggles by Erik Fisher, PhD, AKA Dr. E...

I enjoyed this book because I did not expect it to be
Eat Pray Love. I read it for its own merits. However,
I found the last few pages just unbeleviably
stupid and over the top. When the mayor shows up
to perform Felipe and Elizabeth's thrown together last minute wedding,
the author stoops to the absurd notion of calling it off and hesitating
due to the fact that he is a Republican mayor. Oh! The horror...
the horror. So..once again..we have an author trading in petty partisan politics for the sake of being oh so politically correct. Sorry, you just demeaned your literary effort!

THis offering by Gilbert will never be a movie as was her last huge hit book but it would make a good documentary. She did extensive research from antiquity to remote tribes and everything in between on relationships. When you are finshed you will reflect that maybe a commitment wasn't (or isn't) for you. When you finally put it down you will probably have a good talk with yourself.

Eat, Pray and Love by Elizabeth Gilbert is definitely in fashion. 8.5 million copies have been sold and Julia Roberts is starring in the recently released movie. The book chronicles a year of post-divorce and post-affair travel, and ends with another affair between the author and a Brazilian, Felipe.
She is now married to Felipe, after some encouragement from U.S. Immigration, and has written a follow-up book called Commitment. In both this book and Eat, Pray and Love, Ms. Gilbert is adamant that she doesn't want to have children. It is true that Commitment does contain a few passages about her affection for her nieces, but she seems to feel about children as most women feel about spiders. But, as even a phony politician realizes, someone who doesn't like children doesn't have much claim on humanity. Not everybody has to have biological children; many adopt, sponsor or teach them. But discarding children the way Gilbert does also discards one's humanity.
She is a street-wise writer, making sure she got a $200,000 deal for the best-seller before she wrote it. She has the twinkly eyes and philanthropy of one of those benign Dickens villains. Her philosophy is New Age. In her opening chapter she hears God, while she is lying on the bathroom floor, speaking with her "inner voice." This God also condones her dislike of children.
Eat, Pray and Love is about a physical journey from Italy to India to Bali, and an internal one from self-inflicted loss to fulfillment. This fulfillment has not come through sacrifice, but through selfishness. Here we find a clue to Gilbert's aversion to children. How many parents everywhere, even in the tiniest African village, sacrifice for their children? How many mothers are looking after their gravely-injured veteran children? How many teachers in difficult jobs say that every day they "give a part of themselves away"? Who sacrificed the child he loved above all else for this world?
But Gilbert believes that sacrifice is an atrocity. Read the shocked way she speaks about her grandmother, who had seven children and sacrificed her dreams and desires for her family. Gilbert is a phony because she doesn't believe in sacrifice. We also shouldn't believe the claim about finding oneself through exploration. T.S. Eliot writes that the end of exploring is "to arrive where we started/And know the place for the first time."
Breaking up a marriage, writing a book with vacuous content, and taking all those trains and planes and buses weren't necessary to "know the place for the first time." Gilbert could have sacrificed for another route. Perhaps she could have explored Central Park with her child. I imagine passing her, a woman sitting on a park bench watching her blonde daughter explore the exciting New World of childhood. This alternative Gilbert is impatiently jiggling her feet, because she has a fantastic idea for a book or journalistic piece, but she knows she must sacrifice this glittering articulacy to gain something else. She and the child walk back to their apartment where Gilbert's husband is waiting. It's a life involving fewer words, less fame, less destruction and more sacrifice. But on this route she has found not only herself, but her humanity.

This book was OK, not quite the entertainment value of Eat Pray Love and not quite as intimate although written for a smaller more intimate audience. There were personal antecdotes throughout but I would liken it to sitting in on someone's thesis defense entitled "A multicultural analysis of the origins of marriage - from historic BC (before Christ) to modern day PC (politically correct)" the only thing lacking from this thesis...i mean novel...is appropriate references or a bibliography.

I find that people have a tendency to either love Elizabeth Gilbert's work, or they hate it. I fall into the former category. I've read all of her books; Committed is my second favorite behind Eat, Pray, Love. I love her introspective story telling, the great lengths she goes into researching facts and exploring her own past to make informative decisions and how she takes you along during the entire process. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoyed EPL.

Written by Mrs Allison:

It's not as much an adventure story or novel as it is a wonderful review of marriage and relationships between women, men and women and amongst men and women throughout history, and the world. The cultures Gilbert's been fortunate enough to experience are wonderfully detailed with interesting, if not controversial, commentary. For anyone in a relationship, it's worth reading this sociological masterpiece.

This book is less like EPL and more like Gilbert's Last American Man. It wonderfully weaves the historical, the sociological and the personal into a compelling narrative in a way that few authors beyond Gilbert and Bill Bryson can accomplish so skillfully. It will undoubtedly have detractors who feel it is either too much or too little like EPL, but I thought it was a great read and would recommend it highly.

Elizabeth Gilbert says she wrote this book not caring if it was as popular as "Eat, Pray, Love". Good thing.
Some parts of it are insightful and interesting, but on several occasions Gilbert lapses into an oddly sanctimonious rant on varous subjects. From her clearly bitter feelings about Christianity, the Department of Homland Security and social conservatives to her long defense of gay marriage, it's a very disjointed read. If you're looking for the same fun ride that was "Eat, Pray, Love", skip this one, you will be disappointed.

Having read Eat, Pray, Love three times (!) some might consider me an Elizabeth Gilbert junkie. I just love this woman's voice. I love the way she peels back her shell and lets us listen in to her monkey mind/internal dialogue -- neurosis and all. I love that I now feel like I know Felipe/Jose and that I've been given a seat of honor at family events. I'm sure there will be plenty of critics for this book but I won't be one of them. This was a totally enjoyable read. I would suggest that anyone considering marriage sit down and read this book -- the messages about the sound reasons one should and should not get married will certainly substitute for all those who haven't a clue what marriage is really about.

What is marriage? That's what I wanted to know. Obviously, different things for different people. If you're married, getting married, or are otherwise interested in the subject, this is a good job. I fell it's pretty realistic, with different topics from cheating, to starting important conversations, to prenups, to some very interesting statistics. Probably obvious to a lot of people but I feel there will be good info for most.

Also different types of marriages, which I found interesting. Lots to do with kids, of course. Some things about "lack of kids" too.

If you liked Eat, Pray, Love, this may be a shocker to you. Not a sequel.

Liz returns with the story of why and how she marries Felipe. They had vowed to spend their lives together but without getting married because they had both been through difficult divorces. Gilbert relates tons of information on the history of marriage and different cultural views on marriage. She shares some very personal information about the marriages of her mother and grandmother. This book is not as funny as "Eat, Pray, Love" but was still very enjoyable.

While I read, I couldn't help but think about how valuable this information would have been to me before I first "tied the knot" No longer married, I am optimistic about how this book will influence my relationship should I ever choose to marry again.

I loved this book. I admit that as an Australian who recently married an American after a whirlwind long-distance courtship that ranged from Papua New Guinea to Kenya, Committed gave me a lot to recognize and not a few things to laugh at. However, I don't think you have to be a globetrotting reckless romantic (or, on the other hand, someone deeply wary of marriage) to enjoy this book, and to learn from it. The story is cleverly structured by the necessity of a government-mandated "shotgun wedding". The reflections on the history and meaning of marriage and committed relationships are inherently interesting. I appreciated the lens she turned upon her own life, and I think Gilbert is at her best when she's sharing reactions and interactions that spring from her closest relationships. I was left wanting more, of everything. (Lisa McKay, author of My Hands Came Away Red).

How does someone who writes a book like, "Eat, Pray, Love" follow it up with something so bad??!!

I read "E,P,L" around two years back and absolutely LOVED it. I loved it so much, i wish i had written it. I identified with the voice so much, i felt like I HAD written it. It became one of my most treasured books and I couldn't recommend it to people enough. Since i live in Dubai, I'd missed the hype around the book and was therefore lucky enough to have stumbled on it, and luckier to have not had any expectations from it. Two days back, I happened to stumble on "Committed" in a book store here, and was SO excited to read, what I understood, was the sequel to her relationship with Felipe from her previous book.

Committed is a non-fiction book, but unlike EPL, is a non-fiction piece that reads like an essay. A long, boring essay. If you want to read every single quote or every single fact or every single ANYTHING written on marriage, buy this book. I have skimmed through its pages only to find a personal narrative of the authors on every tenth page.. that too if you're lucky. Another reviewer wrote that there is nothing that really connects you to Ms Gilbert, and I really can't agree more.

You kinda know the beginning from reading the back cover, you know the ending from reading the first Chapter, and you really don't need to know anything in the middle. This has got to be one of the most boring books i've ever read! I'm so proud of myself for bothering to finish it.

Why should we or shouldn't we marry? Is a piece of paper that states we are married truly define our commitment to one another? I like Gilbert's approach to examining marriage. It is deep and thought-provoking and makes us examine our own belief system. When it comes to relationships, another book you might want to consider isThe Art of Managing Everyday Conflict: Understanding Emotions and Power Struggles by Erik Fisher, PhD, AKA Dr. E...

I enjoyed this book because I did not expect it to be
Eat Pray Love. I read it for its own merits. However,
I found the last few pages just unbeleviably
stupid and over the top. When the mayor shows up
to perform Felipe and Elizabeth's thrown together last minute wedding,
the author stoops to the absurd notion of calling it off and hesitating
due to the fact that he is a Republican mayor. Oh! The horror...
the horror. So..once again..we have an author trading in petty partisan politics for the sake of being oh so politically correct. Sorry, you just demeaned your literary effort!

THis offering by Gilbert will never be a movie as was her last huge hit book but it would make a good documentary. She did extensive research from antiquity to remote tribes and everything in between on relationships. When you are finshed you will reflect that maybe a commitment wasn't (or isn't) for you. When you finally put it down you will probably have a good talk with yourself.

Eat, Pray and Love by Elizabeth Gilbert is definitely in fashion. 8.5 million copies have been sold and Julia Roberts is starring in the recently released movie. The book chronicles a year of post-divorce and post-affair travel, and ends with another affair between the author and a Brazilian, Felipe.
She is now married to Felipe, after some encouragement from U.S. Immigration, and has written a follow-up book called Commitment. In both this book and Eat, Pray and Love, Ms. Gilbert is adamant that she doesn't want to have children. It is true that Commitment does contain a few passages about her affection for her nieces, but she seems to feel about children as most women feel about spiders. But, as even a phony politician realizes, someone who doesn't like children doesn't have much claim on humanity. Not everybody has to have biological children; many adopt, sponsor or teach them. But discarding children the way Gilbert does also discards one's humanity.
She is a street-wise writer, making sure she got a $200,000 deal for the best-seller before she wrote it. She has the twinkly eyes and philanthropy of one of those benign Dickens villains. Her philosophy is New Age. In her opening chapter she hears God, while she is lying on the bathroom floor, speaking with her "inner voice." This God also condones her dislike of children.
Eat, Pray and Love is about a physical journey from Italy to India to Bali, and an internal one from self-inflicted loss to fulfillment. This fulfillment has not come through sacrifice, but through selfishness. Here we find a clue to Gilbert's aversion to children. How many parents everywhere, even in the tiniest African village, sacrifice for their children? How many mothers are looking after their gravely-injured veteran children? How many teachers in difficult jobs say that every day they "give a part of themselves away"? Who sacrificed the child he loved above all else for this world?
But Gilbert believes that sacrifice is an atrocity. Read the shocked way she speaks about her grandmother, who had seven children and sacrificed her dreams and desires for her family. Gilbert is a phony because she doesn't believe in sacrifice. We also shouldn't believe the claim about finding oneself through exploration. T.S. Eliot writes that the end of exploring is "to arrive where we started/And know the place for the first time."
Breaking up a marriage, writing a book with vacuous content, and taking all those trains and planes and buses weren't necessary to "know the place for the first time." Gilbert could have sacrificed for another route. Perhaps she could have explored Central Park with her child. I imagine passing her, a woman sitting on a park bench watching her blonde daughter explore the exciting New World of childhood. This alternative Gilbert is impatiently jiggling her feet, because she has a fantastic idea for a book or journalistic piece, but she knows she must sacrifice this glittering articulacy to gain something else. She and the child walk back to their apartment where Gilbert's husband is waiting. It's a life involving fewer words, less fame, less destruction and more sacrifice. But on this route she has found not only herself, but her humanity.

This book was OK, not quite the entertainment value of Eat Pray Love and not quite as intimate although written for a smaller more intimate audience. There were personal antecdotes throughout but I would liken it to sitting in on someone's thesis defense entitled "A multicultural analysis of the origins of marriage - from historic BC (before Christ) to modern day PC (politically correct)" the only thing lacking from this thesis...i mean novel...is appropriate references or a bibliography.

I find that people have a tendency to either love Elizabeth Gilbert's work, or they hate it. I fall into the former category. I've read all of her books; Committed is my second favorite behind Eat, Pray, Love. I love her introspective story telling, the great lengths she goes into researching facts and exploring her own past to make informative decisions and how she takes you along during the entire process. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoyed EPL.

Written by Mrs Allison:

It's not as much an adventure story or novel as it is a wonderful review of marriage and relationships between women, men and women and amongst men and women throughout history, and the world. The cultures Gilbert's been fortunate enough to experience are wonderfully detailed with interesting, if not controversial, commentary. For anyone in a relationship, it's worth reading this sociological masterpiece.

This book is less like EPL and more like Gilbert's Last American Man. It wonderfully weaves the historical, the sociological and the personal into a compelling narrative in a way that few authors beyond Gilbert and Bill Bryson can accomplish so skillfully. It will undoubtedly have detractors who feel it is either too much or too little like EPL, but I thought it was a great read and would recommend it highly.

Elizabeth Gilbert says she wrote this book not caring if it was as popular as "Eat, Pray, Love". Good thing.
Some parts of it are insightful and interesting, but on several occasions Gilbert lapses into an oddly sanctimonious rant on varous subjects. From her clearly bitter feelings about Christianity, the Department of Homland Security and social conservatives to her long defense of gay marriage, it's a very disjointed read. If you're looking for the same fun ride that was "Eat, Pray, Love", skip this one, you will be disappointed.

Having read Eat, Pray, Love three times (!) some might consider me an Elizabeth Gilbert junkie. I just love this woman's voice. I love the way she peels back her shell and lets us listen in to her monkey mind/internal dialogue -- neurosis and all. I love that I now feel like I know Felipe/Jose and that I've been given a seat of honor at family events. I'm sure there will be plenty of critics for this book but I won't be one of them. This was a totally enjoyable read. I would suggest that anyone considering marriage sit down and read this book -- the messages about the sound reasons one should and should not get married will certainly substitute for all those who haven't a clue what marriage is really about.

What is marriage? That's what I wanted to know. Obviously, different things for different people. If you're married, getting married, or are otherwise interested in the subject, this is a good job. I fell it's pretty realistic, with different topics from cheating, to starting important conversations, to prenups, to some very interesting statistics. Probably obvious to a lot of people but I feel there will be good info for most.

Also different types of marriages, which I found interesting. Lots to do with kids, of course. Some things about "lack of kids" too.

If you liked Eat, Pray, Love, this may be a shocker to you. Not a sequel.

Liz returns with the story of why and how she marries Felipe. They had vowed to spend their lives together but without getting married because they had both been through difficult divorces. Gilbert relates tons of information on the history of marriage and different cultural views on marriage. She shares some very personal information about the marriages of her mother and grandmother. This book is not as funny as "Eat, Pray, Love" but was still very enjoyable.

While I read, I couldn't help but think about how valuable this information would have been to me before I first "tied the knot" No longer married, I am optimistic about how this book will influence my relationship should I ever choose to marry again.

I loved this book. I admit that as an Australian who recently married an American after a whirlwind long-distance courtship that ranged from Papua New Guinea to Kenya, Committed gave me a lot to recognize and not a few things to laugh at. However, I don't think you have to be a globetrotting reckless romantic (or, on the other hand, someone deeply wary of marriage) to enjoy this book, and to learn from it. The story is cleverly structured by the necessity of a government-mandated "shotgun wedding". The reflections on the history and meaning of marriage and committed relationships are inherently interesting. I appreciated the lens she turned upon her own life, and I think Gilbert is at her best when she's sharing reactions and interactions that spring from her closest relationships. I was left wanting more, of everything. (Lisa McKay, author of My Hands Came Away Red).