A Year By The Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman

I would actually give it 3 1/2 stars. This transitional time for some women and men can leave you depleted. Sometimes the changes just appear as the end of the road. Sometimes it takes something a .little more drastic to find a new path forward.

I think watching paint dry just might have been more entertaining than reading this book! It was a pick for my Book Club. Three of the girls did like the book. The rest of us........8 others........just hated it.
It's much too "flowery" for my taste. And, as the main character takes her year off by the sea, she just happens to run into a famous author. Ann Tyler wrote about a similar idea years ago. Her book was called Ladder Of Years. It's the very same story......a woman suddenly needs to get away from family and everything. However, Tyler's book is so realistic and so well developed and so believable.

I wouldn't have had a problem with this book if the author had ACTUALLY been an independent woman when setting off on her own. First, she and her husband did not decide to separate - SHE decided. And she wasn't INDEPENDENT. She was VERY dependent on her husband to continue paying the mortgage. He had to pay TWO mortgages while she "found" herself. I thought she was very condescending to the contribution her husband made to the marriage, like providing shelter, food, clothing, and love isn't enough. To pretend she was independent when she wasn't is extremely immature on her part. Her selfishness made my blood boil and I eventually quit reading it 3/4 of the way through to preserve my blood pressure. Perhaps I would have been better able to appreciate the book if I didn't have a good idea of what it takes to fully support a family with no backup on a daily basis. Maybe some women are able to see past the financial aspects, or really do believe that a woman can be independent and autonomous while being completely (or partially) dependent on a man for financial support - but I am not one of those women. Anyone want my book? Free? I'd like to burn it.

A friend of mine loves this book and reads it again periodically so I looked for it at the library but it wasn't available - which should have been a clue - but I bought it. I was disappointed. It's an easy read but nothing ever happens. I expect her to have an affair or something but she spends a year analyzing herself and her life and then she gets back together with her husband. I felt it was anti-climactic.

A friend recommended this book which I unfortunately bought. I feel sorry for people who think that this is "writing." The author not only contradicts herself but the writing is shallow and lacks any depth. If you want to feel good, buy yourself a bottle of wine, not this book.

Had higher expectations of this because someone I knew slightly was making a film production of it. So I read it and was disappointed. I assumed a book of some depth. This was not. It was quite shallow.

I read this book several years ago, enjoyed it, and saved it. Then the other day this 67-year-old widow pulled it off the book shelf and I think this time I got even more out of it. I feel so connected to Joan Anderson and am thinking that maybe many women can identify. So many of us are caught up in marriages or look back on marriages which remind one of the "Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus" perspective. Anderson seems to be always longing for more than her husband can give. She feels shortchanged emotionally.

It is her idea to take a year off from marriage and during her solitary year by the sea she learns to become more self-reliant. She revels in her alone time and then, out of financial need, takes two different jobs--the first at a lobster restaurant and then closer to the end of her year, in order to pay for a hot-water heater, she takes up clamming. She is so proud of herself when she can pay for the hot-water heater and even develops stronger muscles as a result.

There is a lot of what I often refer to as "filler" in this book--a great many descriptions of nature which one would expect from a story set in Cape Cod. She uses so many metaphors from her beautiful surroundings to illustrate her present circumstances. The story is (pardon the pun) awash with these comparisons. It reminds me very much of a story or essay one might write for a school assignment. I was asked once to write a story about a journey and to show how the physical journey is joined with a spiritual journey. Anderson could have helped me do a better job.

My favorite parts of the book, though, are when she talks in a more straightforward manner. I loved hearing about her marriage issues, her body issues, and her adult children issues. I could identify with the manner in which her sons criticized her--I believe she said that they refer to her as "nosy, loud, and inappropriate." I swear they've been hanging out with my daughter!

It's a very comforting book because it made me feel less alone. If there had been slightly less description of her physical surroundings and slightly more description of her inner being, I would have been even more pleased. But, all in all, I was rooting for her, I felt proud of her, and I was amazed at the way her year by the sea made such an interesting story. It always fascinates me to think about writing a memoir. She must have been carrying a notebook around with her at all times in order to write such beautifully-detailed descriptions, not to mention the fact that she just happens to make a new friend, an old lady she finds roaming the beach, and has a dear old friend stop in for a wonderful weekend. I mean, really! How many of us could leave our husbands for a year and have such an idyllic life?

I saw a review by a 29-year-old woman who liked this book, so I know it's not just for the middle-aged and elderly. But perhaps it resonates better if you're over 50. The first time I read it the criticism her sons gave her went right by me. I had more difficult parenting problems than a little criticism at the time. But I'm so glad I saved the book because their comment was so apropos to my situation now.

I was glad that the story had a traditional happy ending--that she and her husband reunited and were both changed for the better by their separation. It's one of those books that you don't want to get rid of--I'm thinking that perhaps my daughter would enjoy it someday or I may pull it out again in another 10 or 20 years!

I read this book in a couple of days because, in the beginning, I found interesting the description of how the marriage became stagnant and reached a crisis when the children left. Many of the author's life situations and thoughts were similar to the ones I went through when I was hit by the empty nest syndrome. However, as a psychotherapist I find it hard to believe that a year of distancing from the marriage with no mention of any kind of psychotherapy can lead a marital crisis to such a happy ending. The reader is not told how husband and wife were able to work out their issues except for the wife walking on the beach and visiting seals. Hmmmm....Really? And what about the husband? How did he suddenly turned from morose to open and friendly? If life was this easy we clinicians would be unemployed.

Joan Anderson writes a beautiful memoir of a year in her life in which she struggles with her path and the changes she feels are necessary for her growth. Some people may view this book as a selfish and indulgent mid life crisis episode and others, including myself, may view it as a wonderful transformative experience to be envied and learned from. How you feel about this book is dependent on your view.
When her husband arrives home one day excited over the news that he has taken a new job in another state, Joan decides that she would rather strike out on her own. Although not divorced the couple agree to separate, Joan moving into their Cape Cod residence and her husband moving to the new state to undertake the job.
What Joan discovers, is a new self, one that enjoys nature, being independant and a woman who is not afraid of new experiences. Each chapter relates to a season and in them, she describes her jobs, friends, problems and insights in an informal way that makes the reader feel as if she's sipping a cup of coffee and listening to Joan herself. In the end, the time apart from her husband enrichs their relationship in a way that is unexpected. A Year by the Sea is about the longing most people have to answer the question "What's life really all about?" Anderson chooses to act on this question and her life is beautifully chonicled in this little novel with a spirit that most of us can identify with.

I just re-read "A Year by the Sea," and I loved it as much as I did the first time I read it! Joan Anderson's story is interesting enough in and of itself. Her kids are grown and her marriage has grown stale, so when her husband informs her he's taken a job out-of-state and they need to move, she decides to go off to their summer cottage on the cape for awhile to be alone. She ends up spending a year by the sea and makes some amazing discoveries about herself, like the fact that she has unconsciously sacrificed important parts of herself in trying to please and meet the expectations of others.

But what makes the book even better is her writing style. It pulls you in and you can't wait to hear what she'll say and do next. For instance, at one point when she's feeling alone and experiencing anxiety, she notes, "I want to trust the hours, but waste them instead. I've never been so close to myself, but somehow we can't seem to make friends."

She has a lot of experiences during her year by the sea - swimming with seals, becoming a clam digger, meeting Joan Erikson, and reconnecting with her husband...but the main thing she does is finally find and free herself.

It's a great book that inspires women to get in touch with themselves and live a more authentic life!

I believe too often women dream of escaping for a time the mon Dane life they have created or has been created for them due to circumstances, ie. children, careers, and certainly marriage only to discover they have lost their own identity as a person. The need to seek one's self is too foreign and frightening than to endure the unknown and attempt finding and establishing your inner self. It takes a brave person to break free and take a plunge to locate your place in life and become complete as a real person and not a person connected to all the people you have put before yourself over the years. Reading this book has been a wake-up call to me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel for finding myself and to do so without destroying love and relationships of one's life.

I loved Joan Anderson's book, what she had to say and the honest, no-frills way she said it. Right from the very beginning where seals appear, I could almost hear the sound track from the movie "Secrets of Roan Inish". If you saw that movie you'll know what I mean. I didn't doubt for a minute that she did indeed work long, hard hours as the only woman in the fish market, manage to get her clamdigger's license, just to make ends meet, and refused to allow any limits to stop her from incredible physical work. She wanted to pay for repairs herself and not rely on her husband, who she decided not to follow when he was transferred out of state. Whatever needed doing she was solely responsible for getting done. Cooking for her nephew's film crew and cast. Setting the rules, after he tried to beat her to it. She managed to stay way under his budget, and earn only minumum wage for herself. Knowing that there was much wisdom and friendship to savor from a frail, elderly woman she stumbled upon in the fog. I'm from her era and could relate perfectly when she described herself as "a good girl". How far you went with your boy friend determined whether you were "good" or "loose", in our day. After a year of thinking about what is important in life, knowing she could chose any path, she made the decision that to me made it all worthwhile. She had the courage to act on her wishes, keeping track in her journal and then luckily for us, shared it in "A Year by the Sea"

Anderson's husband announced one day that they must move because he has changed jobs. She is fifty years old and refuses to move with him. Instead she retreats for a year of inner exploration, to their summer cottage on Cape Cod. There she learns to take risks - swimming with the seals; spending a solitary night on a sand bar; working in a local fish market and learning to dig for clams in order to make money to pay for a new hot water heater for the cottage. Along the way she befriends a couple of locals, and learns the need for adventure, wonder and joy in her life. At the end her husband re-joins her in order to retire to the cottage on the Cape. But all I could think about was how nice and convenient that her husband was still there waiting for her, after her year of solitude. She tells us nothing about their interaction together during their year of separation, other than a Christmas visit and a couple of very brief phone conversations. Surely they must have spent time talking about their marriage and their future together. But we, the reader are given no inkling of it. The husband just reappears again at the end, ready to resume the marriage.(He is a very shadowy character throughout the book, never fully fleshed out) This omission from the book, of the process of re-ordering a long marriage was a disappointment to me, although I realize this was Anderson's story.

A Year by the Sea by Joan Anderson is a decision chronicle. After her children leave home Anderson realizes her marriage does not satisfy her needs, and more importantly, after a lifetime of taking care of others, she realizes she does not even know what her needs are. When her husband has a job transfer, instead of going with him, she takes a year off to live alone in the family vacation home on Cape Cod.

This book chronicles Anderson's soul searching effort to prioritize her own needs. Her goal: discover new motivation and purpose for life. She must make decisions. She examines everything. She determines to discard patterns that no longer feed her soul, whether that means being honest about her sex life, letting go of her marriage, or NOT fixing meals when her family comes to visit.

At the beginning of the year Anderson doesn't know what the outcome of her search will be. She writes honestly and intimately. She details transitions everyone needs to make at new junctures in life. By letting the reader in on her process she challenges them to examine their own lives. A Year by the Sea is everyone's story.

I found this lying on the table at a bookstore during a one-nighter with my husband, which we both desperately needed as we're always surrounded by the things that needs to be done, two growing boys who demand all of our attention and time ~~ and reading the back of this book, I briefly thought of a friend who is going through her midlife crisis right now. So I picked it up.

It is a fast read but it is lyrical and yes, the author can be selfish at times but I think there is truth to her selfishness. Women, even today, have been raised to be nurturers and care-takers, and sometimes, I wonder, who takes care of us women? There is a lot of truth to Anderson's frustrations, fears, desperations, and feeling unfulfilled. She just turned 50 and her children are out of the house, so what is left for her? A marriage that doesn't seem to fill her and a husband struggling with his own issues? Heck, she did what I long to do sometimes ~~ take a breather and live by the sea! Sometimes, in this world, life is too harried and too hurried. We become creatures of routine and non-thought. Anderson broke away from all that just to reclaim her life and her soul. Selfish? Well, it depends on who labels it that. Whining? No. I didn't take it that way. I took it as a woman who really needs space and solitude to figure out what to do with the next thirty-forty years of her life. It's a period of transition. It's a period of growth, both spiritually and emotionally.

It is a reflective book. She looks back at her youth and rediscovers her dreams or the sense of the girl she used to be. She looks at her marriage with an honest eye and with objectiveness. She looks in the present and learns to live in today, without fretting about the future. She simply learns to be "as is." She learns after a struggle of many years to accept her body, her self and relaxes for the first time. This book may be written by a woman on her year by the sea, but it is a book for every woman at some time in their lives, to take stock and remember who she is and who she will become.

I am almost 37 and have a long ways to go before my house is emptied of children. I have just started on the journey of motherhood, whereas she has moved onto a different chapter of motherhood. My marriage is still new whereas she has been married over twenty years when she took that year by the sea. There are many differences in our lives but the searchs for meaning and for "what is" are still the same. This book is powerful in the fact that it reminds me that our journey never ends in spite of the days when it feels like it is the end. Life is there always and we just need to embrace it. Anderson has the grace and the ability to write about her thoughts which in turn provokes my thoughts ... sometimes, I just need a moment to reflect on the slower pace of life. This book did that for me.

It doesn't matter where you are in life ~~ this book will offer you some gems to think on. If you are middle-aged and your children have left the nest, you will appreciate this book more as it will speak to you more. If you're still raising your children, this book will just give you insights and remind you to hang onto those moments with your children as it will fly right by so fast. It is just a wonderful, thoughtful book that every woman should read sometime in her life.

7-28-06

A Year by the Sea ebb and flows like the natural elements that refresh and rejuvenate the protagonist. Learning to strip away the truths of her own being allows the author to share her need to discover her true self under all the roles she has taken on. For those of us of "a certain age" it resonates with the changes that woman face throughout their lives. A great choice for book clubs.

I've read loads of great reviews from this book so I was excited to read it. Unfortunately, I was a bit disappointed. The author constantly complains about the limits that she has imposed on herself her entire life. Granted, some of these limitations (e.g., always making sure you're smiling when your husband gets home from work, no matter how crappy your day was) are imposed by society, but one does not necessarily have to follow these rules. It appears as if the author did and lived a miserable upper-middle-class wife as a homemaker because of it. I commend her for recognizing these issues and finally taking time for herself, but throughout the book I had the sense that she was making excuses for not living her life the way she wanted to.

Perhaps it is a "generational thing" - I'm in my twenties and would never think of repressing myself for the sake of my family. For me, this book served as almost a warning to make sure that I do not loose myself in a marriage, family, etc. It was also interesting to see how much the author felt compelled to take on the role of wife, and how this caused her to loose touch with herself.

A positive aspect of the book is the author's description of the Cape. Having spent lots of time there, it's great to be reminded of the Cape's beauty. She does an excellent job of describing the landscape, people, and places. However, I kept screaming "WHERE" wanting to know where on the Cape she was.

Joan Anderson details her experience of separating from her husband and retreating to Cape Cod for a year. She is so out-of-touch with herself and her needs that even in this year of self-discovery, she flounders and at times seems wimpy and lost. It's inspiring, as it shows that you don't have to be super-woman to make changes in your life.
Ideas that seep into my mind as I read include:
*It's never too late to tune into your real self
*Solitude and interaction with nature help free you to think
*Getting your hands dirty releases inhibitions
*We are all unfinished women (and men) but often don't let ourselves grow
Although some passages seemed banal as you read them, the overall revitalization and insight that the author experiences strike a spark. I I imagine we all need some time to recharge and reconnect with ourselves, but rarely have that luxury. We also fill our lives too much with the daily demands and aren't willing to listen to our minds and bodies rebelling or quietly suffocating.

This little book is a simple tale of self-discovery by a versatile and talented writer who certainly can turn a phrase. The subject is classic -- a woman going through a mid-life crisis and seeking to "find" herself. The middle-aged woman, of course, has a much better chance at finding someone when she searches herself than a younger one. We create ourselves, day-by-day, whether we are aware of it or not, and a search too soon is a fruitless one.
That said, Anderson "finds" what she's searching for and she expresses both the search and the discovery (which, actually, takes her back where she started in the first place)in delightfully descriptive and easy prose.
The reader won't find any earthshaking "truths" here. Indeed, it's doubtful that such "truths" even exists -- but he or she will find a charming and delightful experience of a year by the sea in Cape Cod. Reading this little volume turned out to be a lovely way to spend an afternoon.

Here is a woman at a life-changing period of time, reflecting on choices and consequences while trying to ground herself in her own true identity as the autumn of her life encroaches.
What does it mean to be authentic? To give up facades and find the real "me" beneath the layers of pretense? To give up endless sacrifice and nurture that "me"? To acknowledge hidden wounds and find ways to heal? To take ownership of shortcomings and mistakes without self-reproach?
Joan lays bare many of her dark secrets and personal weaknesses as she works through her journey. Along the way, as if by providence, she encounters an extraordinarily wise woman who helps illuminate some of the darker mysteries of her journey, and imparts words of encouragement and wisdom everyone should take to heart. That woman becomes the focus of Joan's 3rd book in this 'series', "A Walk on the Beach".

If you have read Mitch Albom's "Tuesdays With Morrie", this has a very similar feel, although "A Year by the Sea" is more about self-discovery and reclaiming identity.

This book came to me during some of the darkest days of my life, when I found myself on my own journey of rediscovery. I could intimately feel the emotions and motives that drove her ... that whirlpool of inner confusion and dissonance in search of meaning and resolution.
I can't speak highly enough about "A Year by the Sea" and its impact on me personally. So much so, that I often use this book (and her book, 'A Walk On The Beach') as gifts to close friends.

My dissatisfaction with this book springs both from the writing itself and from the content. Ms. Anderson also writes children's books, which is perhaps why she takes the phrase "blurted out" seriously. I cannot. Her writing isn't unreadable, but it has a savor of the juvenile. Her verb choice is often overblown for drama's sake, and her metaphors are cliché. (For instance, from the third page: "[I] thought I'd fix his melancholia somehow, lifting him above the darkness he had grown so used to carrying.") It's not that I mind recycled images - even the best writers use them - but I do mind that nothing beautiful or truthful is added to the discussion when Ms. Anderson pulls these out. She's just using them as filler for having to find words of her own. And they're all over the book.

As for the content: I went into this book wanting to like it. I like to learn alongside an author as she discovers something new about herself. But I don't think Ms. Anderson learned nearly as much as she thinks - or as much as she needed to.

She tells us she had to learn to be selfish, but I think she knew how to be selfish all along - she just didn't know how to say "no." You can be incredibly obliging and still be self-centered, pleasing people because you want them to turn around and - of their own volition and impulse - want to please you. I struggle with this myself. Ms. Anderson never really sees it, though, and she certainly doesn't address it. She thinks that she can cure the impulse by depriving herself of people to oblige, but that gives her no chance to practice re-modeling how she relates to others. She didn't take a cure, she took a break and I see backsliding in her future.

Furthermore, she's really judgmental (I say as I write criticism - yay!). There's one point at which she derides the "kept women" who come into the fish market - as if her husband wasn't paying her mortgage, as if she didn't go running to him first thing when the water heater broke and she didn't have the money to fix it. I was disgusted. She's on this island trying to recover from being exactly what these women are, as she smugly thinks about how miserable they must be and how sad it is that they don't think of going away by themselves. 1. Where is your compassion? 2. Maybe they can't. 3. Maybe they don't actually feel just like you - maybe they enjoy their lives. 4. If you're asking us not to judge you for abandoning your husband for an unspecified length of time, you really shouldn't be judging others.

There's more, but I won't go on - that should be enough to help you decide whether to read it or not. Not a balanced review, but this book left me with a bad taste in my mouth. I don't recommend it.

I first read this book in 2005, a couple of years after my husband passed away. I had forgotten who I was, having been one half of a couple for 34 years. My first reading was fraught with underlining every phrase or sentence that spoke to me. Seven years later, I re-read the book, again underlining the most meaningful passages to me.

I just re-read this gem again a few weeks ago. I saw that if I only read my underlinings from 2005, my own story appeared. When I read those underlined passages from 2012, a brand new story was created. Each time was astounding. This book, which began as Joan Anderson's story, held within it my own stories at each of the phases of my "recovery."

I cannot more highly recommend this book--my bible--and I look forward to more underlining as I continue my journey back to myself.

This is an autobiographical account of the author taking a sabbatical from her marriage - something rarely heard of, even in this beentheredonethat day and age. Along the way she encounters storms, work, friendship, dearly departings and experiences with nature. As I read her book, I couldn't help but see how these things were real-time metaphors for the things encountered in a marriage. There are times of joy, loss, sadness, spiritual encouragers, hopelessness, friends who come alongside, and happiness regained.
In a day where marriages are tossed overboard like fish gone bad, Anderson deserves kudos for being honest with her feelings, while trying to paddle back to her husband. Though this is a marvelous read, the silent hero in this book is her husband. It takes a trusting man to give his wife 365 days in which to find herself, not knowing what her decision will be until the year is up.
Anderson talent for creating word pictures, whether about the sea, dolphins or slopping fish, the reader is there with her rubbing off the sea salt. In one poignant scene, Anderson and her ninety-something friend are at work on handheld looms. Her friend says about mixing the colored threads, "You must look more carefully at what it means when one color meets another to see how many strengths you have to work with and lean on." Anderson goes on to say, "...I am beginning to see that every thread is significant." I found myself examining my friendships, and recognizing each one's significance in my life and how we equip each other to continue on our own journeys.
Weave yourself into Anderson's words; you won't want to miss the pleasure of her company.

WOW! Joan Anderson's eloquent descriptive text left me totally breathless. I read at least two books each month and her writing style tops them all. Without being corny, cute or commonplace as the tendency of so many of today's authors, her vivid scenes liken her to a camera with a wide angle lens and provide the brick and mortar for a wonderful story. This book should be read by all women. Not to say they would be able to do what she did -- get away for a year on their own -- but, in essence, her story does encourage the average woman to dig way down deep into a her soul for questions and answers she may seek. Joan and I have different interests and motivations, but when it comes to souls ... we're on the same plane. Great job, Joan. When is your next novel coming out?

I like books that really speak to my heart... Its not Joan Anderson's fault this book doesn't do that for me... To me the book is about a woman once again seeking her purpose in life... She talks about her discovery that none of us are "finished" that we are always "becoming". Actually I used to believe that but not sure I do any longer...

There are things I want to do for the years remaining to me... but no earth shaking changes are challenges call to me personally... Sure I'd like to see people work together to control runaway inflation... and see a cure for cancer and Parkinson's and see an end to oppression and cruelty... but those are global dreams and ideals...

I'd also like to win the lottery... but then... that would open up another slew of problems... all those long lost - never heard of - or from - loving family members and friends... Forget it... I'm moving to South America... LOL

She had some interesting experiences in her year by the sea... If she's glad then I'm glad that she did... and glad that she and her husband reunited and hope they do find new joy in their relationship...

For me the book didn't answer any questions that I'm searching for answers for... I'm just not there and don't know if I can or want to be there again... As a mother who has lost a child even though its nearly seven years I still feel pretty much like I'm living out my life until I die and can join my child...

Yes I have joy in my life... I have things that for as long as I'm on earth I am grateful to do... I am grateful to be here - to take care of my husband, to enjoy my remaining child and my grandchildren, to be of what little help I can be to them... Perhaps to share memories of his sister with my son and of their mother to her children... To tell her story because my heart aches at the thought she might be forgotten... but no I'm not looking for new horizons except that far one where my daughter is...

This won't be everyone's reaction, nor should it be... but since I was writing what my response to the book was... I decided to write what I really felt and not what I thought people might want me to write...

I can't say this isn't my kind of book... I loved The Gift Of An Ordinary Day by Katrina Kenison... It too is a introspective book... but perhaps that's because for me part of the reality of my life now is longing for those wonderful ordinary days that were so special even though I didn't realize how special until my daughter died...

Finally I do want to say A Year By The Sea was an easy read and relaxing and I enjoyed it well enough... I would definitely recommend it just so you can consider the possibility of exploring options... It certainly can't hurt and it might hold answers... I may even find somewhere down the road that I received more than I currently recognize from reading the book...

Joan Anderson wrote this book just for me!! How could she have known her message was so perfect? Her subtitle might be, "Thoughts of Unfinished Women". How many of us yearn for the pleasure and enchantment of solitude? No one can know unless we "unfinished women" let our thoughts be known.
I am pleased for her that she and her husband reunited after a year of soul searching. Such was not the case for me, but I am pleased to be a "free spirit" expressing my thoughts in
poetry. Each day presents a smorgasbord of jewels to be taken in and savored.
Please let me know how I may get in touch with Joan to experience a "Weekend by the Sea". What a precious treat!!

I first read this book in 2005, a couple of years after my husband passed away. I had forgotten who I was, having been one half of a couple for 34 years. My first reading was fraught with underlining every phrase or sentence that spoke to me. Seven years later, I re-read the book, again underlining the most meaningful passages to me.

I just re-read this gem again a few weeks ago. I saw that if I only read my underlinings from 2005, my own story appeared. When I read those underlined passages from 2012, a brand new story was created. Each time was astounding. This book, which began as Joan Anderson's story, held within it my own stories at each of the phases of my "recovery."

I cannot more highly recommend this book--my bible--and I look forward to more underlining as I continue my journey back to myself.

This is an autobiographical account of the author taking a sabbatical from her marriage - something rarely heard of, even in this beentheredonethat day and age. Along the way she encounters storms, work, friendship, dearly departings and experiences with nature. As I read her book, I couldn't help but see how these things were real-time metaphors for the things encountered in a marriage. There are times of joy, loss, sadness, spiritual encouragers, hopelessness, friends who come alongside, and happiness regained.
In a day where marriages are tossed overboard like fish gone bad, Anderson deserves kudos for being honest with her feelings, while trying to paddle back to her husband. Though this is a marvelous read, the silent hero in this book is her husband. It takes a trusting man to give his wife 365 days in which to find herself, not knowing what her decision will be until the year is up.
Anderson talent for creating word pictures, whether about the sea, dolphins or slopping fish, the reader is there with her rubbing off the sea salt. In one poignant scene, Anderson and her ninety-something friend are at work on handheld looms. Her friend says about mixing the colored threads, "You must look more carefully at what it means when one color meets another to see how many strengths you have to work with and lean on." Anderson goes on to say, "...I am beginning to see that every thread is significant." I found myself examining my friendships, and recognizing each one's significance in my life and how we equip each other to continue on our own journeys.
Weave yourself into Anderson's words; you won't want to miss the pleasure of her company.

WOW! Joan Anderson's eloquent descriptive text left me totally breathless. I read at least two books each month and her writing style tops them all. Without being corny, cute or commonplace as the tendency of so many of today's authors, her vivid scenes liken her to a camera with a wide angle lens and provide the brick and mortar for a wonderful story. This book should be read by all women. Not to say they would be able to do what she did -- get away for a year on their own -- but, in essence, her story does encourage the average woman to dig way down deep into a her soul for questions and answers she may seek. Joan and I have different interests and motivations, but when it comes to souls ... we're on the same plane. Great job, Joan. When is your next novel coming out?

I like books that really speak to my heart... Its not Joan Anderson's fault this book doesn't do that for me... To me the book is about a woman once again seeking her purpose in life... She talks about her discovery that none of us are "finished" that we are always "becoming". Actually I used to believe that but not sure I do any longer...

There are things I want to do for the years remaining to me... but no earth shaking changes are challenges call to me personally... Sure I'd like to see people work together to control runaway inflation... and see a cure for cancer and Parkinson's and see an end to oppression and cruelty... but those are global dreams and ideals...

I'd also like to win the lottery... but then... that would open up another slew of problems... all those long lost - never heard of - or from - loving family members and friends... Forget it... I'm moving to South America... LOL

She had some interesting experiences in her year by the sea... If she's glad then I'm glad that she did... and glad that she and her husband reunited and hope they do find new joy in their relationship...

For me the book didn't answer any questions that I'm searching for answers for... I'm just not there and don't know if I can or want to be there again... As a mother who has lost a child even though its nearly seven years I still feel pretty much like I'm living out my life until I die and can join my child...

Yes I have joy in my life... I have things that for as long as I'm on earth I am grateful to do... I am grateful to be here - to take care of my husband, to enjoy my remaining child and my grandchildren, to be of what little help I can be to them... Perhaps to share memories of his sister with my son and of their mother to her children... To tell her story because my heart aches at the thought she might be forgotten... but no I'm not looking for new horizons except that far one where my daughter is...

This won't be everyone's reaction, nor should it be... but since I was writing what my response to the book was... I decided to write what I really felt and not what I thought people might want me to write...

I can't say this isn't my kind of book... I loved The Gift Of An Ordinary Day by Katrina Kenison... It too is a introspective book... but perhaps that's because for me part of the reality of my life now is longing for those wonderful ordinary days that were so special even though I didn't realize how special until my daughter died...

Finally I do want to say A Year By The Sea was an easy read and relaxing and I enjoyed it well enough... I would definitely recommend it just so you can consider the possibility of exploring options... It certainly can't hurt and it might hold answers... I may even find somewhere down the road that I received more than I currently recognize from reading the book...

When her husband receives a job offer across the country, Joan simply says she does not want to move with him. She is surprised at how easy it is to say and how easy it is to sell her house with her husband and move into their Cape Cod cottage by herself in September, when most people are leaving for the winter. Joan spends a year by the sea, just as the title suggests, mostly thinking and rediscovering herself. Most of the time she is completely alone, left to figure everything out, though she does meet some interesting people along the way.

What I was expecting was not necessarily what I got. I saw a lot of myself in Joan and she made me think a lot about the way I see myself. I'm not sure I can articulate what usually bothers me about stories where one person leaves a marriage, but I think it is incredibly difficult for a young person to stand on the other side of making the commitment of marriage with someone to understand what that would be like. What an entire life with someone is like. I think it's also terrifying to sit and think, they were once like me, in love and eager to begin life together, and now they have ended up like this. Is that my fate, too? I like to think it isn't, so I don't necessarily like to read novels and nonfiction that tell me otherwise.

But A Year By the Sea was different. Joan explained her situation and reflected on her life in such a way that it was all very clear. Joan, for all the self-discovering she did throughout the book, seems to understand herself better than most. At some point she meets a woman in her 90s, also named Joan, who eventually becomes a sort of mentor to the author. I felt much the same way about the Joan who wrote this book. She was talking directly to me, explaining that sometimes you need to spend some time to figure yourself out and the only mistake you can really make is thinking you're always a complete, finished person. You're not; we are constantly shifting to understand ourselves better and to make ourselves better people.

This is a book that I can see myself buying and rereading when I need a little reminder to take life slowly and as it comes, to focus on myself once in a while and to not lose sight that I am a constantly changing person and that is okay. When I looked this book up, I learned that there are three follow up books, something I was very excited to see. One chronicles the next year, when Joan and her husband move back in together to work on their marriage. The second turns A Year By the Sea into a self-help kind of book, that I'm not exactly sure I'm interested in reading. But, I'm especially interested in A Walk By the Sea, a book that focuses completely on Joan Erikson, the older woman Joan met on one of her walks through Cape Cod.

Maybe I'm not exactly the target audience for this book (22 year old female), but something about it spoke to me completely. Were there times when Joan was frustrating and even a little selfish? Yes. Were there moments when I didn't understand her motivations and I sympathized with her husband? Absolutely. But Joan puts everything out there. She is unsure of everything she is doing, but she is prepared to find out if it's the right thing.

This is a book I will read again, along with the companion novel, "An Unfinished Marriage". Joan does (or did) speaking engagements and I would love to go sometime. She is inspiring and does what most unhappy women only dream of doing......escaping. Oh to have the resources available to do the same thing, and then to write a famous book about it straight from your heart. Her husband was a trooper. He stuck in there when most wouldn't. He let Joan explore who she was and what she ultimately wanted. Awesome book!!

Joan Anderson wrote this book just for me!! How could she have known her message was so perfect? Her subtitle might be, "Thoughts of Unfinished Women". How many of us yearn for the pleasure and enchantment of solitude? No one can know unless we "unfinished women" let our thoughts be known.
I am pleased for her that she and her husband reunited after a year of soul searching. Such was not the case for me, but I am pleased to be a "free spirit" expressing my thoughts in
poetry. Each day presents a smorgasbord of jewels to be taken in and savored.
Please let me know how I may get in touch with Joan to experience a "Weekend by the Sea". What a precious treat!!

The book is well crafted, the story interesting, but a bit unbelievable. I enjoyed reading it, found many of her thoughts to be insightful and well described. Overall, though, it has a limited audience, first I doubt men would find it engaging. Second, I think it is for women over 45 and under 65. I am outside that demographic, yet it was still worth the read, as I like to read about women's lives.

Thank you for sharing your journey from another "unfinished woman". The book is an easy read, I finished it in less than a day. The wisdom that comes from reading is priceless. I identify with practically every emotion, guilt, and self talk that is described in the book, you could have been writing about my life! I celebrated in the joy of freedom and self discovery. I envy Joan for having had a year to be able to take this journey. Although I don't have a year to do it, I find that I need to take the same journey a little at a time each day -- I try to get away from everything to just sit and contemplate whether it be 5 minutes or 5 hours. Thank you Joan for sharing your journey!

Faced with an empty nest, a cusp in her marriage & a vacant soul this woman chooses solitude in a cottage by the sea. Here, with no one to take care of other than herself, she begins to hear her own song. With words as her trade, she records her adventures in taking elemental care of her small world, earning her keep & reinventing her relationships with husband & children. Her days are filled with meditating, practising self examination & reviving her forgotten soul. A wonderful read with lots of chuckles & tear drops.

Though some reviewers have focused their ridicule of this book on the author's opportunities, economic status, and the fact that she doesn't linger on any catastrophes in her life (jealousy, no doubt), I find her honest memoir to be very useful to my own life--one very different to her's. I'm a happily married, penny pinching, thirty something with a young child, and trying to balance my home, family and love life with my efforts to start a business.
There is no shame in any woman admitting that she has neglected her personal needs, and deciding to commit herself to a more fulfilling life. Her attention to her own needs only benefits those whose life she touches. Much like exercising creates more physical energy, renewing oneself creates more energy for giving to others. What the other reviewers neglect to observe is that it is only by attending to one's own need for renewal--whether one hour, one day or one year--that we can give well and fully to others. Joan was in the fortunate position to allow a year for her reflection.
Why do flight attendants tell caregivers to put on their OWN OXYGEN mask first before placing the mask on a child or elderly person? Because you can not help someone else if you're passed out from smoke inhalation or lack of oxygen. Apparently, some other reviewers do not understand this concept.
This book is about ONE WOMAN'S time of renewal. She does not suggest that you follow her path. It's a memoir. Her story. However, I would suggest that reading her story can help open up a reader's thoughts about her own renewal--a path only she can find for herself. Another GREAT book about renewal for women is Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. Timelessly pertinent.

At barely 41 and going through my own major upheaval of family and personal life, I happened upon this book in a quirky little tourist-trap town in Arizona. I was at the beginning of my own journey of transition and the reinvention of self. This book sat high in the upper corner of a bookcase nearly obscured by the larger, glitzy-er titles, but somehow it found it's way into my possesion.

On more than one ocassion has this book brought tears to my eyes. Partly because of my empathy for Ms Anderson's accounts, and partly because they seemed to be ripped right from the pages of my own life's story.

Her insight and wisdom are profound. She has much to say that needs to be heard. I would heartily recommend this book to all of my friends. It's become like a spiritual roadmap for me through the storms and challenges of life.

Joan Anderson has written a really lovely book of independence strength and fulfillment during a crucial period in a woman's life- and it's all true! I would love to be free myself of the constraints that men often put upon us as women and spend time alone to ponder on life and where I am headed, so this book was right up my ally. I think I would have stayed on my own unlike Joan however the sea and the seals all sounded so peaceful and beautiful to wake up to every day!! I highly recommend this book to women struggling for survival amongst the demands of family.

I read this book in one night and I want to read it again. This is an insightful book into a year in the life of a woman having to discover who she is. She makes the decision to take a year off and goes to a cottage by the sea. I relished each page in this book. From the dolphins, to the seals, to her working at the fish market until the end when she really finds herself. I only wish that I could take a year by the sea. All woman should read this book. Old and young will see something of theselves in this great book.

Joan Anderson wrote this book to help herself out of a tough life transition. Along the way, she learned, and she teaches us, so much about what we seek in life, how to live with ourselves before trying to live to please others. She shares so much, "A Year by the Sea" is a good example of thoughtful introspection, well written.

Helen Gallagher Release Your Writing: Book Publishing, Your Way

This is the most enlightening book I have ever read! It is all women who are encompassed in this awakening of the inner self which shows each individual's own capabilities to be everything they can in life -- to be open to all that surrounds them and learn how to learn from the experiences one encounters in everyday occurences.
I would like to thank the writer, Joan Lee Anderson, for giving this book to all women to see outselves in, and to have opened up the possibilities of change in one's life as being a "good" thing -- an opportunity for acceptance of ourselves by ourselves exactly as we are! This book shows you there is am ongoing state of "finishing" available to all people, both men as well as women, regardless of age, state of mind, or physical size and shape. This book was truly one of life's little "unexpected" treasures!
I recommend this book to anyone who feels "unfinished" ... because once you read the book you will realize it is o.k. to be "unfinished"!!! Once I started reading, I couldn't put the book down.
Sincerely,
Diane P. Hefter

I do not agree with any negative reviews of this book. It is a short, easy read and I feel that Joan has put into words what many of us woman feel, especially during mid-life. I often wonder when my children are grown, what my role will be. As my children now are in school full-time, I felt the need to find my role during the day after the toddler stage was over. I am enrolling full-time in school myself to finish my degree! I understand and greatly appreciate Joan putting these confusing feelings into a beautifully written book. It let me know that as my life evolves and changes, it is okay to be a bit confused and take a breather to figure it all out! We are not expected to always know all the answers.

This memoir was so beautifully done it simply captivates you from the first page. As you journey with Joan on her adventure of claiming self after years of being a "good woman" (i.e. being selfless, giving all of your best to everyone around you, ignoring your feelings to make sure others are having a good time, etc.)you find your heart opening. I am giving a copy of this book to all of those nurturing women in my life who tends to forget to nurture herself. Thank you Joan for sharing this LOVEly piece.

I had to read this book for my book-club. Thank goodness I was able to get it from the library and didn't have to buy it.
The book was tiresome, tedious, narcisisstic and at times, frankly unbelievable. The first conversation with Joan Erikson reads as if scripted for a made-for-TV movie. Joan, "It's about action and touch" she says , as if she knows. "That's where the wisdom is - in the senses - stepping out on a gray day, daring to be different. There's no-one as foolish as us right now. Thank goodness! We can be in a fog all by ourselves! I love the grayness of it. The mist sort of wraps itself around our thoughts, so they can take hold".

Give me a break.

As another reviewer wrote, Anderson insists on dragging in metaphors and hitting us over the head with them. The seals, the fox, the trickling sand - enough already.
As to the reason she went on her sabbatical - it appears she married someone so radically opposite her in many respects, she maybe would have been happier with another man. The fact that she raised two sons who are happliy married themselves is maybe a testament to her husband more than her - she mentions that they are always happy in his company. "Their affection for him is more readily apparent than their feelings for me".

Hmm - I wonder why?

I could identify with many of the issues that Joan Anderson was facing; the life changes, my choices and life fulfillment. It is a beautiful book at times, but at other times the author comes off a bit whiny. Still, overall, I give Joan Anderson a thumbs up for having the courage to leave the familiar and to take risks in finding something more and ultimately in the end, finding yourself and your own voice.

As a woman who just turned 30 years old, I found this book incredibly relevant to my life even with the distance in age and outward life circumstances from the author. The book is beautifully written... poetic, moving, deeply meaningful. I read it over two days and look forward to reading it again. There are many passages that resonated with my so deeply, I look forward to going back and highlighting. I would recommend this book to any woman at a point of transition or questioning in her life - surely it will be like a lighthouse for your rocking ship.

I checked this book out from the library after seeing Joan Anderson on Oprah. I read it in a day and a half saving the ending for that second day because I was so moved. I went out the next day and bought a copy for myself so I could highlight. I then bought 15 more for a total of 16 to give as a gift to every woman I knew from 17 to 76 years old. I then read it again. I then tracked Joan Anderson herself down and flew to Cape Cod to meet her for my 30th birthday by myself. No girlfriends, siblings, or husband. You do not have to be wealthy to do this, I'm certainly not. I went myself for my own week by the sea and again met this magical woman. I've never had such an experience in my life and probably never will. Buy the book - buy many and give them to everyone you know. I was 29 when I read it and found myself becoming the author in a few years time. What a blessed woman, what a blessed place, what a blessed book. Amazing.

An open and enlightening look into the heart and mind of an intelligent insightful woman who has reached a major crossroads in life. This is one woman's story of a year alone to find the road to take and in the process, finding herself.

I found this book very interesting, I can remember when I would have tried this very thing and it is good to know how it turned out in this book very exciting and what a wonderment it was to read, one never knew what would happen next

A wife immobilized by a marriage in crisis stops time in a self-prescribed year of isolation. The epiphany she experiences brings not only a solution but a life to be lived outside herself. A YEAR BY THE SEA is the story of a courageous woman; it is a fast read, a real page-turner. It is a reality check for women and a road map for the men who love them.

Sometimes books pass through your hands just when you need them..this one did for me. So many similarities, it really got my attention. This book has really made me stop and reflect on the last 27 years of my life and it won't be long before I read it.

Finished this book in 3 days. Wondered if I'd like it or not after reading good and bad reviews about it. I really like it and found a lot of things she said really hit home. Will probably read it again and as someone said highlight the important parts. I felt like I was right there at the sea and sand etc. with her. Couldn't understand why her husband couldn't put the water heater on a charge card when she asked him for the money. It's not like she was asking for a luxury, it was a necessity.

This is the best book I've read in a long time. I was feeling a little lost the week that I happened to find this book and it totally changed my attitude. So many pages had at least one sentence if not more, that echoed exactly how I felt. I no longer feel alone in my thoughts and I am now proud to be an "unfinished woman." Thank you to the author for sharing her experiences!

Reading this book is a lot like spending a weekend in a house by the sea with your best friend. Women at transitional times in their lives love this book, but women of all ages will benefit from reading about the author's journey. Share it with your daughters; pass it along to your best friend. Or buy them their own copies so you can keep yours and read it again whenever you feel at sea.

This is one of the best books that I have ever read. It was very moving and explores thoughts of a woman in which I think many women have the same thoughts! They just don't know it. After experiencing Divorce and being very afraid to be alone, this book has helped in opening my mind and soul and accepting life in the present. This book is not written as a self help book but it sure drives the message home for women in which they are unique and beautiful and how to search and find your true inner self. I recommend this to every woman and have given this book as a gift to my friends.

I've never felt the need to "thank" an author for her book, but in this case I know that I must. Joan, your story has not only inspired my soul, but it has also ignited my creative muse and nourished the metaphors in my own life. Your words echo throughout my days, and I find I am a zestier writer, wife, daughter, friend and unfinished woman because of it. This is a timeless story that I intend to share with all the beloved women in my life. Something that I will pass down to my own daughters if that day ever comes. Readers are certain to come away from this journey able to breathe new life into their relationships, careers, dreams and spirits.

I am fortunate to have plucked Joan Anderson's "A Year by the Sea" from the myriad of books in the "Women's Issues" section of a Milwaukee bookstore. I was on a cherished break from mothering two toddlers. I sat in a chair in the bookstore, began to read and two hours vanished. I completed the book at home, well into the night (giving up precious sleep). I have often wished and pleaded for a wise woman mentor to help me through the delicate and confusing issues of wifehood and womanhood. Where does the constant giving end? Where do I began? Joan became that woman mentor/friend through her book. I am eager to read it again and write down the wisdom she offers. Peace without answers, peace in not having answers...this is the greatest gift I have received from "A Year by the Sea". I am telling all of my female friends to read this one!

I have always been somewhat independent and kept a sense of self through any relationships I've been in or jobs I've had. I do know many women in their 30s, 40s and 50's who got married, had a career and kids and lost themselves along the way.

For many there comes a point where they are left wondering who they are - other then someone's mother and someone's wife... and when did they stop being the person they were. I would like to see young women who are just starting out in their lives read a book like this so they make the decision and continued effort not to their own identity and purpose to their marriage, careers and motherhood.

I loved this book. It is so "real". I wish I could go away for a year to "find myself". Swimming with sea lions, working in a fish market to earn $ to fix her hot water heater, I could only dream about this adventure!
After reading this book - I rushed out in search of her second book - An Unfinished Marriage. I cannot wait to read all 3 of her books! I own all of them and will begin the second book as soon as I have some free time. I wish we could have a book discussion at *Bucks on these books!

This was a quick, quick, read. It took a matter of hours only. Could be done in one sitting. I enjoyed this, but I wanted to know more about the relationships she developed; especially the relationship with herself. I think we all secretly wish we could run away and do like she did - but it's so nice to live vicariously through her.

Ms. Anderson embraces solitude and physical labor during a year away from her husband in order to take stock and decide the direction her life should take next. She suggests that women (and men) of all ages are "unfinished" throughout life. She and we are on a daily journey of discovery and change that ends only with death, not with a specific age, station in life, or accomplishment.
The rich, poetic, and spiritual details of Ms. Anderson's particular story go beyond her life and speak to anyone who stops, or wants to stop, for a time along the way to reflect and assess, for whatever reason.
You might especially enjoy this book if you are drawn to the wonders of the shoreline.

This is one of the best books I've ever read - and I read a lot! If you want to read something that will really stir your heart and move your soul, this is the book. In this true story, Joan Anderson speaks to any woman who has ever wondered "is this all there is?" as she shares her experience of spending a year alone in her family's cottage at a point in her life when she is no longer willing to just go along with her husband's career or what she's "supposed to do". She writes of the emotional, physical, spiritual and financial challenges she faces and how she deals with each. After reading this book, you will want to read more of Joan Anderson!

This is a woman who spends a lot of time -a year- obsessing over her problems and the changes she needs to make in her life. Her problems include having a patient husband, two successful children, a career, and a second home on Cape Cod. Obviously, I don't see any real problems here! However, there are insights that can be gained and shared by someone who spends a year by the sea, and I really tried to be open-minded. I know that time spent alone can be rejuvenating and time spent by the sea can be miraculous; but what we have here is time spent whining , and it is so tedious!

Maybe this woman should have tried living in a homeless shelter if she wanted to find her strength.

I've met many courageous people who continue to serve others even while facing incredible obstacles. Living in a cottage by the sea while being supported by a husband (who, incidentally, was good enough to pay the bills yet not worthy of her companionship) is hardly a challenge, except to the husband.

Most guys would have found a new girlfriend in about six weeks.

Just recently, I've kind of begun to delve into the whole "Non-fiction, memoir" thing, and it's working out pretty well for me. I mean, I've had a few problems--bookstores being overcrowded, use of un-unified vignettes, too many fish, whatever--but I think this one was really worth it. Everyone likes to write about the sea and its effects, but Joan Anderson goes one step further and does, and she puts it all in this book. Amazing. In this book, the sea really has a pull on her life--truly like undertoe--that refuses to let go. And her writing is incredible; her descriptiveness is simply that--descriptive. As I read this book, I really gained mental representation of the author's life, which I can only use one word to describe: basketball. Seriously, I really think Joan Anderson would make an incredible b-ball player. Just picture her in a Knicks uniform, busting down court on a fast break, totally schooling her defender, Kenny Wayne Shepard, and putting up a sweet sweet layup--just right over his head. Boom. It would be so sweet. I swear, I should work for a team with draft picks. Incredible.

Perhaps because I was going through 'that time' of my life as well, I found this story very inspiring. As women, we are often times judged when we take time out for ourselves. But that is what Joan did, and she found out lots of things about herself, that she wouldn't have realized any other way. Would recommend (to women reaching 'middle' age).

Ms. Anderson does what many of us dream of doing: taking an independent vacation from a lifeless marriage. But most of us dont have the luxury of having a home by the sea where we can escape.
Even so, I admired her moxie in stretching out toward independence, and in trying to "unstifle" her emotions. She describes what many of us think, in our heart-of-hearts.

As a woman who divorced after a very long marriage, I could relate to much of her thoughts. I didnt like the ending, though.

Joan Anderson steps outside of her "Comfort Zone" to take a good, long, hard look at her life. She is like many of us women who have been married 20 years or longer. Joan wonders if there is more to life than the everyday--wake, eat, work, sleep, and family care. She risks the choice of going out to survive alone for a year by the sea in the old family beach home. Finding a job, she learns to pay her own expenses and deal with emergencies. She ventures out to evaluate what is really important in her life, while learning to take care of herself along the way. Because of Joan's new experiences alone, she is able to live comfortably with the biggest decision she could ever make regarding the rest of her life.
Men will find this book as interesting a read as we women.

Loved the book. I wish I had the resources to do exactly what she did. I am a big believer in fate and I believe I was to read this book. I think every woman who is over 50 should read this book. Especially if they have been married for many years and the kids are grown. I could see myself in her.

Aren't we all unfinished? What I loved about this book was its unflinching look at how women tend to give themselves away by giving themselves to "functions" whether for their husbands, their children, or work. I loved that the author took the time to reflect on what it meant to be her, in solitude. We each need to take some time for solitude, perhaps not a year at the beach, but maybe an hour reading a book, this book.

A Year By the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman by Joan Anderson (Doubleday) A 50ish woman separates from her husband -- kids are grown, marriage is stale, he takes a job in another city, and she felt that accompanying him was pointless. She installed herself in their cottage in Cape Cod to reflect and figure out what to do -- supporting herself by working in a fish market -- and it drags on for a year - it's a true story and she just happens to be a writer.

I read this book almost a year ago and still remember the feelings of escape I experianced while reading about Joan. I became her in my own desire to escape to Cape Cod. It would be impossible for me to actually follow her actions at this time in my life having two small children, but at least I could experiance the desire to through the author. At least now I know A Year By the Sea is not implausible! Thank you Joan!

I'm married with two children and for the first time, I went to our beach house alone (in the Outer Banks, NC ). I began the book at home and decided to go away to finish it. As I sat on the deck with a glass of wine and the sun setting I have to say, I felt like I was enjoying a visit with a close friend... sharing stories, feelings and lessons learned. I was a bit sad to have it end. It has inspired me to take more time out for myself. I truly enjoyed it and look forward to reading more of her books!

From the first page to the last, Joan Anderson reveals herself to be a self-absorbed woman, rather than the self-sacrificing mother and wife she claims to be. Her attempts to "find" herself, such as frolicking with seals, taking a job in a fish shop, and befriending another self-obsessed older woman, are stereotypical "enlightening" activities -- in other words, the so-called talented writer can't rise above the pedantic. This memoir is an insult to hard-working women who "find" themselves in the midst of busy and demanding lives without the convenience of a seaside refuge. Joan Anderson would have done the literary world a service to stay in her cottage and keep her "unfinished" thoughts to herself.

In A Year by the Sea, Joan Anderson writes a shallow memoir lacking both style and complexity. In page after page of superficial metaphors that try too hard, she reveals little about who she is or how she has grown and changed during her "year off". Each day becomes more tedious than its predecessor. She hardly paints herself as an inspiration to the reader nor as a sympathetic character. After a three or four chapters it becomes almost embarrassing to read about an adult babbling on like an unfulfilled teenager. The only aspect of the book that seems to work is her attempt to keep hidden from the reader the reasons behind her resentment and anger toward her one dimensional husband.

MY FAVORITE AUTHOR IN THIS GENRE. I DID NOT AGREE WITH EVERYTHING, BUT IF I DID MAYBE I WOULD SPEND A FEW DAYS AT THE BEACH. WORKING THROUGH PERSONAL PROBLEMS WITH DAY TO DAY CHORES IN A PEACEFUL ENVIRONMENT. LOVE TO DO IT. CONNECT THOSE PROBLEMS TO OUR CHOICE OF HOW WE WANT TO LIVE OUR LIVES, AND ITS A HIT. NOT ALL WOMEN COULD EXPRESS WHAT THEY FEEL AS WELL AS ANDERSON, BUT THEY CAN IDENTIFY THEM AS THEY READ THEM. AND MARRIED WOMEN, OR SINGLE WOMEN, THIS IS A GOOD READ.

This book touched my heart and my soul.I could see myself in Joan Anderson's place, and fervantly wishing I was, sharing the same frame of mind at her age. I could identify with her need to get away to a place by the sea and to just "be" by herself allowing time for life to reveal itself to her through wonderful abandon. It is a heartwarming read, not pie in the sky, very down to earth and what the ordinary person seeking to be authentic,real and at home with themselves will find a wonderful companion on their journey through life.

The book was tedious and self indulgent. There was so much selfishness that I could not sympathize with the protagonist. While the protagonist tries to reclaim her own self-worth through hard work, I think there was never really a sense of reality check. I think being truly homeless or living in poverty would bring her imagined plight into perspective. There is lack of responsibility or true understanding of being a human being of substance. Instead what we have is 'find yourself' story through wild abandonment. The protagonist does not seem alive but rather a husk trying to reach for life through unenlightened means of fulfillment.

Joan's style conveys images and thoughts that set me thinking and keep me coming back to my thoughts. She uses few words to establish an image that I could really relate to. The title "A Year by the Sea" gives the impression of a period of time that is long enough to provide a cycle of growth. She includes in her story the tidal cycle which is too short for the growth and understanding that she is seeking.
She makes the reader get in her corner and want to get to know her.

How many of us have wished for a year of solitude with Nature in order to reflect, learn and grow. By reading this little book, we can at least share Anderson's experiences. So many of her thoughts and emotions reflect what many of us feel, especially at that age and point in life. Kids are grown and have become independent, our traditional role in life is over and we're not quite sure where we belong anymore. Excellent read!

I bought this book when I saw this author on Oprah. Didn't think I would like it as much as I did. I purposely read it slowly because I didn't want it to end.
It is a great book and a must read for anyone over 50. Never thought that there were other women out there, who had the same frustrations as I have had.
I did pass this book on...no use keeping a good book on the shelf. My Friend also thought it was a marvelous book and passed it on to her sister. Who, with a little hope, will do the same.

This is a masterful piece of work. I am ordering 3 more copies for friends today. If you are a baby boomer and have approached that 50 year milestone there will be much you will recognize in this writing. I just wonder how Ms. Anderson knew my thoughts so perfectly.Read it... you will fall in love.

I loved this book. Joan's questions about her self-worth and place in the world touch upon questions that are present in many women's lives. Marriage often does not turn out to be the "soul mate" relationship the media sells. The question is, what then? Joan had the courage to ask, and answer that question through a period of introspection devoid of her customary support system. I found the book to be honest, compelling and thought provoking. I plan to read it again and was profoundly touched by her insights.

I read this memoir in one evening, not because it is gripping (it is not) but because it is short. I found myself praying that the shallow insights, endless banal metaphors, and self-absorbed ramblings of a privileged and narcissistic woman would finally lead to some useful insights. Perhaps, I thought, the author will be magically transformed into someone with whom I could actually enjoy spending an hour. I was disappointed.

Joan Anderson writes of her own "journey of self-discovery." She comes off as a whiny wealthy woman who has spent her adult life gazing at her reflection in her husband, her sons, her work, and her friends. At the age of fifty, she does not like what she sees, or perhaps she simply doesn't want to recognize herself any longer. She escapes to her second home on Cape Cod for a year to indulge herself and make herself the center of her world - with no petty distractions such as family, friends, community, or responsibilities. In every person, task, tide, seashell, snowfall, seal, and grain of sand Anderson comes across, she again seeks (and finds) her reflection. She spends this year creating metaphors for herself. (I think I counted five on one page!) and smugly congratulating herself for her now open and conscious self-absorption. By the end of the year, she likes what she sees--so much so that she now offers workshops to help other women discover themselves.

Many women have found this to be a life-changing book. I was not one of them. Perhaps I just could not identify with Anderson, and I guess I'm a little relieved by this.

As the Kirkus review concludes, "A less-than-enthralling journey of self-discovery marred by more than a touch of self-congratulation."

Pass on this one.

I read this book over a weekend and feel that the reading of it and the resulting positive impact on my behavior and attitude has acted like a salve to my psyche. It provided me a much-needed mental spring cleaning. I am indebted to Ms. Anderson for courageously sharing her personal journey and transformation as she tried new ways to live, listened to the wise counsel of friends, and shared her deep thoughts. A classic, healing-type book to be read again and again.

I bought this book on a Saturday afternoon and finished by by Sunday morning.
This is a great little book for any woman who wonders about who they are, and where are they going from here. Are we just going in circles, are we still playful, do we love ourselves, do we love life?
This book shares the authors thoughts of what happened to her over the time period of one year, alone, all alone in a small family cottage by the sea.
If you want to be inspired to think of yourself first so you have something to give to others this is the book for you.

"Wow, Joan Anderson must have been writing about my life or the life of some of my women friends. Wether you leave or stay the process of finding the true women within yourself is a trip of discovery. The process that this book takes, is one of self discovery and acknowledgement that we (as women) are not alone. There are similarities that can be found from each of our lives.
I found this book enjoyable, rewarding and have read it twice. Other women (especially 40 something women) should read this.

Whine whine whine. SNAP OUT OF IT! The *only* interesting characters in this self-absorbed and poorly-written retrospective are the seals and they had the good sense to be fleeting. Two Pity Stars.

Every once in a while you find a book that makes you take notice. This one does that and more. I found my head nodding, often saying to myself, she read my mind! Her words touched a place deep within me and have remained with me even now. All of us can appreciate what she encountered and each of us can learn from her discoveries. A wonderful reading experience I recommend to all women.

This author's gentle, insightful style mirrors the calm and depth of the sea itself. Her spiritual journey is beautifully portrayed in the language and structure of the story. For those familiar with recovery language, this story sheds light on how enlightenment happens in an ordinary life (if there is such a thing) to an ordinary woman (there definitely is no such thing). I truly did not want the book to end.

Its a book that compels one to review their innermost thoughts and feelings. Its a story you read in one sitting and then realize you want to go back and re-read it.
The book only brings you to a certain point in her self discovery and leaves the reader yearning for a sequel. It may appear to be a women's book; however, after having forced my husband to read it he also found it enlightening.

I bought this book after reading a raving review and I was totally disappointed. The style is bland and common, the topic - finding and understanding oneself, which I believe is one of life most important feat - is treated in a shallow manner. In our day and age, I also found it difficult to relate to a fifties' American housewife type of issues. But, it could have all been bearable if the book had been well written. It isn't, and it never managed to stir a bit of passion, beauty or compassion. I was bored from beginning to end, and I only kept reading the book in hope that it might improve. There are many better books out there that deal with introspection, meaning of relationships, being oneself, or surrounding oneself in nature and discovering life.

Before I begin this review, let me state that I have experienced most of the life changes that Joan Anderson describes in her book: from getting older to empty-nesting to (in my case) a divorce to wondering who and what I am. So I am not unsympathetic to any woman's struggle with the above.

That having been said, I almost died of boredom reading this book, and it took me weeks (during which I did not write this review) to figure out why. It is certainly sensitively and well written, and there are some lines that are well worth quoting and remembering. And it is obviously a sensitive and true story of one woman's self-discovery. So why, then, did I find it so terribly banal?

I have finally come to the conclusion that, as personal and deeply meaninfgul as these self-discoveries are, they are of interest and meaning only to the women experiencing them. I simply have no patience. I would love to commune with seals in the wild, I love the ocean, I would ADORE a beach house in the middle of nowhere, but I don't want to hear about it. And I wouldn't want to share whatever I was or was not thinking about my own deep self at any moment in time, no matter how momentous.

I know this is going to be an unpopular review, but it contains as much honesty as I can muster. Of course I can relate to many experiences described in the book--I just don't feel the need to do so. Therefore, if this kind of book is what you like and need, this is probably one of the best of the genre. If not, I would skip it.

Joan Anderson writes with clarity and touches the heart and soul with her honesty and tenderness. She offers possibilities not considered before -- especially to women of my era (a child of the 50s) and reminds us that we are women of dignity and honor. This is definitely one of my guidebooks that will be re-read and shared with my sisters.

No doubt Joan Anderson was serious when she wrote this silly book about "discovering herself" but really, she is so smug and self-centered that her troubles are laughably trivial. I just hated the way she congratulated herself every few paragraphs for her fake humility or for some trite insight she had. She keeps telling us how "selfless" she is, but folks that's the lie of the century. This woman's ego is HUGE. It's all about poor, pitiful, martyred Joan and her 25 cent "insights."

This is an incredible true story of a truly incredible woman. Her view of life and the uninhibited way in which she enjoys every minute, savors every experience, and then shares it makes me embrace my maturity and says no matter how old you are, you can act young.

I have given this book as a gift and will always have it in my library to read over and over again.

I am reading the three of Joan Anderson's books and am thrilled and amazed that she is so forthright and takes sucha "no-holds-barred" approach to her books. I would love to go to one of her weekends!

A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman
This superbly written book evoked thoughts and feelings that made me ponder many events, relationships, and my evolving self. Although I am happily married, the book spoke to me at a very personal level. Kathe

I found Joan Anderson's story of her year to learn about herself and to be comfortable in her own skin a book almost impossible to put down.
I passed this on to friends who had the same reaction that I did. One friend finished the book only to start page one again immediately.
This was peaceful, reflective and a most enjoyable read.

I read this for my book club and wouldn't have finished it otherwise. To help get myself through it I kept a pencil and underlined the most ridiculous metaphors or narcissistic passages. It's hard to pick the worst part but when she made snow angels at the beach when her estranged husband came for a visit is high up there. Give me a break!!

The Kirkus review gets this book well. Joan Anderson comes off as a self-enthralled and rather preachy individual. Despite her complaints about lack of fulfillment she seems entirely too full of herself. The book wears thin, I expect the author would too.
Unlike Doris Grumbach she is not someone I could imagine spending and enjoyable afternoon with.

The writer of this book is absolutely irritating. The thought behind it -- excellent. I was actually jealous at the writer's ability to make a decision to take a year away from her marriage for reflection, and that she had the resources to do so. I relished the opportunity to curl up with her for a year, feeling sad, or happy, joyous or disappointed, as she wrote about her experience.

Instead, I found my forcefully slamming the book down at times, and at other times, heaving deep sighs of irritation and annoyance. I thought Joan was a whiner who didn't appreciate the abundance of riches she had available to her, to even think about this experiment, let alone carry it out.

Poor me, my marriage has grown stagnant. My children are grown. I'm lonely. I'm overweight. Join the club, sister. But, guess where you and most of your readers part company? Many of us are still slaving away at the 9-5 jobs which put food on the table and pay the rent or mortgage. We don't have options. We don't have Cape Cod getaway houses, multiple vehicles, royalty checks arriving, a savings account we can empty to make the leap, and a year of free time to write about our disappointments.

I don't begrudge her what she had. I just wish she would have had more tact, class and dignity not to write from a place where she felt she had to constantly lament her life, when she had more abundance -- an embarrassment of riches, really -- in that little cottage and the option to retreat to it, than legions of sad and lonely married women have.

I also have to hand it her to husband, estranged during this time, who took a few steps to make her grow up and stop whining. For instance, her cottage belonged to her family before she married and it came down through "her side of the family", not his. Long after she'd separated from her husband and moved to her cottage, and he'd moved to another state to start over a new career as well, the cottage needed a major repair. What did she do? Called him for financial help. Another PBS review states he "refused to help" and I think this was totally justified. The husband pointed out, and I think fairly so, that this was her house, her problem. He had bills, as well. Two mortgages to make (his new house, the old house), etc. It was her decision to take a year off and create this financially precarious situation, and she can't have it both ways -- the independence of living alone, and the expectation that her estranged husband would fix her house for her the minute something went wrong.

She then wrung her hands and lamented about what she had to do --- gasp --- GET A JOB and earn extra money digging clams and such, to pay for the repairs. Welcome to our world, Joan, the world populated by single, divorced women everywhere -- and with small children, working two jobs to make ends meet.

I also felt she used too much poetic rambling. She uses 10 words when she could use 5 and there was just such a sense of "Look at me, I'm a writer. I can write about a rainstorm and make it sound as if I'm watching it in technicolor."

I appreciate nature and all its glory, but the best way to cook fresh ingredients is to let them shine through with simple recipes. Ditto nature and her beautiful displays. You don't need to ramp up the poetry to help describe Mother Nature's beauty. We GET it.

I still envy her ability to take herself away to reflect, and I think she made some wonderful observations which many women, me included, will benefit from, gut good gosh, she was so annoying.