Why Helping Others Drives Our Success - Give and Take

This book contains so much more insight and information than I expected when I ordered it. Not only are there tips and techniques for sales people but there are unique perspectives that would interest teachers and anyone in management. I love it when I get more than I expected!

An interesting treatise on giving and taking.
I agree with the author's central philosophy, which can be summarized as follows -

Be a giver, to everyone except takers. When you meet a taker, don't give freely, only match.

I give the book 2 stars because the author doesn't back up his philosophy. For example, he talks about a writer for the Simpson's, who obtained a modicum of success by giving selflessly. However, we'll never know how successful the writer could have been if he'd taken credit for his contributions.

Midler's book "Influence: Why Some People Have It and Some People Don't" is a more accurate description of the world.

I'm a giver. Sometimes it feels like its not worth it, that it would be easier to take or keep score like most people do in the world.

Give & Take gives many case studies and even use a little science to explain why Givers always come out ahead in business & in life!

The main message of the book is hopeful. I mean, it is great to see evidence that people that are open to the need of colleagues as well as customers can be winners in career, not only the selfish geniuses ;-)

A good concept presented in the book: that generous people can succeed in a world otherwise based a lot on competition and "taking-mindedness". However, it's presented with too much repetition for my taste, the book could have been half the size...

Give and Take articulates the blessings afforded to those that are truly servant leaders in the business world better than any than anything I've read on the subject. After reading it I purchased addition copies for my team in the spirit of giving.

Already expecting this book to be outstanding, I was still impressed and surprised by the quality of the writing, his artistry in drawing on research to help tell interesting stories, and the usefulness of his prescriptions. One of the world's foremost thinkers on this topic gave a lot of thought to how this research matters and has interpreted it clearly and compellingly for normal people. Best book I have read in a long time.

Give and Take offers a fresh perspective on giving, especially within the workplace. Adam Grant provides tangible examples of givers who have built and lead large organizations. His examples validate that being ruthless and manipulative is not the only approach to getting ahead. Give and Take is proof that selfless leaders can succeed.

Man, was just telling a friend about this book and mentioned I'd loan it to him. And...it's not loanable. Anywho, book has great ideas, clearly they don't apply, or the publishers don't think they do, to book sales.

Great stuff, I like how it's presented for the most part.

Bottom line: at times it's a bit Tipping Point-y, with long, sometimes boring anecdotes just to say -- givers do better in the long run, so be or learn to be a giver. If you want the meat of it, that's it.

Give and Take is a compelling and well articulated narrative presenting why those who give selflessly often fail as often or more than those who take unforgivingly. The book provides a great framework to reflect on how effectively you (and those you know) navigate the art of Give and Take. A must read on my list of thought leadership content.

After reading this book, I think I work in a taker company.

I see a lot of takers in positions of power, and the worker bees are givers until they leave. I would like to see more giver organizations, but I think corporate America remains as selfish as ever and life in it "nasty, brutish, and short."

One of the many challenges I struggled with was always being a helpful person, but also being someone who could ask for help. I thought that as an employee, to be successful, I had to take complete ownership of every single task and realized that asking for help as well as the need to delegate is imperative. Through this book, I've learned that you can still be a successful giver, but the habit of not reaching out for help (to trusted people, of course) has to go if you really want to be successful in corporate America. Also, I realized that knowing matchers is a great thing for a giver, because they are, as Adam describes them, "the karma police," that makes sure that their giver friends are not taken advantage of.

Great read and I appreciated a fresh look on my past working challenges and experiences!

I could not decide this question by the end of the book and I don't know it now. Is this giver/taker a new personality trait beside the Big Five? Or is it just our projection about Good Givers and Bad Takers? In general, is it possible to live your life that you exploit people in every relationship? Or maybe the book could be summed up as simply "be nice while the other party cooperates and be nasty for a short period if it doesn't"? (which is the well-known tit-for-tat strategy|)

I don't know. But I certainly had the feeling when I read this book that this giving/taking is just pop psychology. Or the biggest recent discovery in psychology. Either-or.

Helped me understand myself and others better and brought clarity to why some communication styles work better than others and what I need (as a giver) in work and friendship to be happy and feel more gratified. Bought a copy for a friend as well.

Excellent volume. The science behind the ideas is explained clearly, and it is very readable. It should be of great interest to students in psychology and business as well as to professionals who are concerning about the development of their own careers. It raises many questions as well.

This book was a pleasure to read and provded great insights into the way people work and think. I learned a lot about myself and the book gave me an opportunity to reflect on the behaviour of others. A good read for anyone who deals with people as part of a their work.

excellent book with rich insights for all professionals on what it takes to succeed.The information shared in the bookis convincing and credible.Like other books on the subject which provides loads of advise this book is refreshing with rich reserach data drawn from a veriety of professions

One of the most brilliant and influential books I've ever read--ordering 2 as gifts halfway through the book. I share my books, yet this one is all mine: my husband and son must have their own copies!

I would recommend reading this book to EVERYBODY! In fact this will be my Christmas gift this year to all my loved ones! No matter what you do in life, you will benefit tremendously with this highly informative, fun to read book.

Give and Take, particularly the chapter on "The Power of Powerless Communication" is one of the most important books I have read in a long time. It will change the way people think and act when they work together.

I read this book at 19 and it's shaped the way I've interacted with people since. One of the most insightful pieces of literature I've ever put my hands on.

If you're debating on reading this book pick it up now and do yourself, and others, a favor.

This book is amazing. For so long I've struggled with the belief that I was alone in the world. That my strong desire to help others grow and achieve in life was an "affliction" or decease that I would have to hide or somehow be "cured".... I've "come out" as a giver at work and it has been a huge relief, no longer a matcher who felt "dirty" after each encounter. I give freely without restraint, and I have been reborn by its power. This who I am, it is who I've always been. Read this book, and your world will be a better place. Even if that world is just between your ears.

The last chapter gives you a summary of what to do if you want to modify your style. Given that we have to work with different types of people it si good to know the differences and understand how to deal with them

The last chapter gives you a summary of what to do if you want to modify your style. Given that we have to work with different types of people it si good to know the differences and understand how to deal with them

I did not like this book and did not finish reading it. The format was not inviting, really dull. This purchase was a mistake on my part. From reading the marketing material at the website it did sound lke a good read. Sorry.

Very good book that shows how important it is to work at being the best you can be, and to forget the I am number one myth. Other people know that you think you are number one, and they really do not like working with you and they don't respect your work, either!

There is much to learn here however, I was wondering whether there are moments where people assume a role as a taker or matcher vs. the preferable giver role? Are there occasions where it is best to act as a taker or matcher vs. a giver? Are there job positions where it is best to operate as a taker or matcher, than a giver? Although these questions are left unanswered, I still recommend this read highly.

Adam has written a great book on the skills and strategies to allow you to give, not worry about getting, and still be successful. It's loaded with practical steps and everyday examples of what selfless or otherish givers have accomplished by being true to themselves. It's a little academic in spots and loaded with links to other research studies, but a great read and a life manual that's time has come.

"Revolutionary" is hyperbolic in this case, but I did find the information and proposed solutions to be understandable, believable, and practical. I would rate this book as being as influential ( to me at least) as Covey's 7 Habits.

This is a weak entry in the psychology of achievement genre. The concept is thin--based on a flat dimensioned false dichotomy. The fact that people are buying this shows the distinct lack of true virtue and moral absolutes being transferred naturally by our culture, families and education. The writing is indulgent and lazy, repetitive and undisciplined. Adam Grant is a clever taker making millions due to good luck, opportunism and the sliver of an idea.

I generally don't enjoy popular-press business books, but this one is spectacular. When I heard about the book, I thought it was going to be one of those fluffy, feel-good books with no real information. I was wrong.

From the first chapter, I was hooked. Grant does an excellent job of both combining existing research with real-life business examples. I will definitely be recommending this book to my friends.

Develop a thought, create some novel jargon, then apply that jargon to redefine common situations, and a book is born. Formulaic business books have become the norm, and this effort tumbled into tedium after only a couple chapters. It's a thought, not a book. The most baffling part of this book is the high praise on its jacket. Were the reviewers talking about the same book? Adam Grant is, by his own definition, a Taker - he Gives very little that's memorable.

There are choices how we do & react by the situation. What I learned from this book are, being givers give us feel better & valuable. The book gave me many examples & reasons why we should did it.

I started to read this book in preparation for my new career in sales, and I felt like I was reading a repetitive version of the Golden Rule. Here's a summary - be nice to people and they'll be nice to you. Save your money unless being nice is unfamiliar to you!

This book talks about `givers', `takers' and `matchers'. Givers are rare and they help others instinctively, frequently at cost to themselves. Their open-handed generosity makes the world better. Takers tilt the reciprocity balance toward themselves and put their own interest above that of everyone else. Matchers try to balance giving and taking and expect direct reciprocity when they help others.

Now, in a competitive world takers should rise to the top, right? Givers are so busy helping others that their own work suffers. And, indeed, many surveys find that those at the bottom of the heap have higher `giving' scores than those above them who tend to be takers and matchers.

Proof that `good guys finish last', right?

Hold your horses. It turns out that those at the very top also have higher giving scores than the average of those below them. In other words givers dominate at both the top and bottom.
Why this is so and what do the givers on top do differently from those at the bottom is what the book is all about. It also reinforces a thesis I strongly hold. If you want to get ahead, then help as many others as you can without keeping score.

Givers on the top are `otherish', meaning that they do not deplete themselves and quickly learn to give the most to other givers. It's a little bit like the admonition you hear from a flight attendant every time you board a plane - in case of a decompression, first put the mask on yourself and then try to help others. They differ from matchers because they do not try to balance their giving and taking.

There are host of super stories throughout. The opening vignette is about a venture capitalist who agreed to fund an entrepreneur but gave him all the time in the world and placed no restrictions on his offer. The entrepreneur went elsewhere.

But he was so impressed by the way the venture capitalist handled himself that he went back to give him a part of the deal and then became a fervent advocate and helped him get many other clients. That is the way it works.

In a popular course I teach called Creativity and Personal Mastery there is an exercise called The Other-Centered Universe in which participants set out to help someone with no strings attached. Their reward is the privilege of being able to help. They are not even allowed to expect a `thank you'. If they get one, that is a bonus. If they regret not getting one, they violated the spirit of the exercise. Participants report that they feel extraordinarily good after doing this exercise.

Now Grant provides `proof' that behaving in such a manner not only makes you feel good but also likely places you on a fast track to success.

His examples touch many industries and occupations. Politics is largely absent with the exception of a shining example of a politician who achieved truly great things as a by product of his unstinting giving. Many of his former opponents became his supporters or, at least, helped him at crucial junctures.

That politician is Abraham Lincoln - certainly a person worthy of emulation.

Now, it is readily obvious that the world will be a vastly better place if there were many more givers than takers. Can you imagine what would happen if politicians in our troubled areas - such as the Middle East - became genuine givers sincerely interested in the well-being of their political adversaries?

Great thought, but unlikely to happen, right?

Is it possible to `convert' a taker to a `giver.' I know it is because, in my course, it happens repeatedly. Every participant comments on how giving everyone else is. I now know why this happens. Takers are highly sensitive to the context in which they operate. When they are in a situation where the `norm' is giving, then that part of them surfaces and they often give much more than they take and also much more than they would have normally given. They cleverly figure out that if they are perceived as givers, others will give more to them and they want that.

So a national conversation about givers and takers could get everyone sensitized to such behavior and have persons evaluating one another in terms of their `giving' and `taking' behavior. When such a conversation is taking place, takers tend to become givers.

Initially takers become givers because they are sensitive to reputation and do not want to be labeled as takers. But, eventually, when they have done it long enough, they become genuine givers.

And, with the high profile Adam Grant has, this book could just start such a national conversation. And when takers become givers, all of us will benefit and the world will change for the better.

One caveat, the indexing is terrible. When you read it, have your highlighter in hand and a pen. Mark sections you want to return to and persons who you would like to know more about. Many mentioned in the book such as Scott Gerber, Jonathan Haidt and Sameer Jain do not make it to the index.

Finally, there are stunning insights in the book that you can use immediately for great personal benefit. For example, Grant reports on a study that showed men consistently outdoing women in a negotiating game. A simple shift had the women running rings around the men.

This is a technique that I have used and teach and it absolutely works. It is not gender specific - a later story shows how a man used it to gain a substantial salary increase.

So what is this method? Get the book to find out. I will tell you this much - the answer is on page 205.

OK business read. Lots of supporting research provided which is good. But the idea of giving to others as both helful and detrimental to careers is confusing. Not as useful as other tried and true business books, such as Peter Drucker, who esentially says be a giver - outcomes and relationships!

We have been actively involved in business networking for years. When we heard that "Give and Take" was being published, we pre-ordered. The premise of the book is that there are three types of people that you will meet in your business life; Takers, Match makers, and the focus of the book - Givers. One of the most i9nteresting chapters talks about the differences between those Givers that rise to lead their companies - and those that stay on the bottom rung. For those of us that have a natural Giving bent - this is the one chapter you should read.

At the end of the day, the best part of the book is to read the one chapter, then skip to the end of the book. There is a GREAT section on how to apply the principles that the author took soooo long to make.

David Spatz

It turns out you don’t need to be mean to get ahead.

In this book, Adam Grant, top-rated professor at the Wharton School of Business, presents research on something called reciprocity styles - attitudes towards giving and receiving.

He identifies three main types. There are Takers, who always look out for number one, typically at the expense of everybody else. There are Matchers, who keep ledgers and settle all accounts, but are less likely to give without clear indication that they will later receive. Then there are Givers, who make it a rule to give more than they get.

Who do you think ends up on top?

Takers, right? Sometimes it feels like the only way to get up the ladder is to push everyone else off of it, and Takers are good at that.

Not so fast.

Grant presents the counter-intuitive claim that Givers, in fact, are disproportionately represented at the top.

Great! In that case all I have to do is give all of my stuff away and watch the money/love/status roll in!

Unfortunately it's not that simple. Givers are also disproportionately represented at the bottom.

Why do some Givers rise when others founder?

Grant has compelling answers.

This book is the clearest description I have ever read of how I want to live my life. I want to be a force for good in the lives of those around me. I want to bring out the best in them. I want to give them credit for everything they do. I want to connect them to people they want to be connected to.

And I also want to be happy myself. Luckily, I now see a way to do both.

The entire book can be summarized in a 20 minute lecture. Redundant ideas echo throughout the book. There's no doubt in my mind that this book is so widely marketed because of the potential it has to increase corporate productivity. I've used the principles described in the book. It was always second nature for me to give my all for the team, dismissing the idea of work being a competition. In the end, it was all for nothing. Companies that survived the recession demand too much from their employees and see the added responsibility as a new standard. If you want to get ahead, either set money aside for a nest egg for you to invest in some other project, or continue to play the office politics game the old fashioned way: small talk and donuts.

This is a very important book for all people in organizations to be aware of. Grant had detected that there are 3 categories of people: Givers, Takers, and Matchers.

It is a complex subject, but for sure in the Giver category, where the personal potential leans to giving, you can motivate yourself and corporations and organizations can improve productivity by showing how doing x job is of benefit to others (as long as it really is.) This will increase job satisfaction (so it is good for every employee to be aware of this) and will increase productivity, which is good for everyone. One caution would be that givers need to find a way to give without burning out.

Can you tell a Giver from a Matcher from a Taker easily? No you have to know the person. That's because people's personalities may appear to be charming or grumpy, and the grumpy one may be quite a giver and the charmer quite self centered.

I think everyone would benefit from reading this book or engaging in a discussion of it with people you interact with--socially, in the family, at work, in volunteer organizations, etc. Those naturally prone to giving may increase their focus and self satisfaction and others may change for the better, too.

He does not explain in the book how Takers can be turned into givers.

There are a lot of books on success. Normally we associate success, whether it’s professional or in business, with talent, hard work (often as a result of a nature-or-nurture argument) and luck. To elaborate further and prove Stephen Covey‘s inventory of habits to become interdependent, professor Adam Grant did a lot of research on the effect of collaboration to be successful in his book Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success. Human interactions may be characterized as takers, givers and the in-between: matchers (the ones truly devoted to reciprocity).
Surprisingly givers end up last, because their behaviors suffer huge personal costs. Most successful are….not the takers, nor the matchers, but the givers as well! Grant takes evidence from medicine schools and sales staff to prove that.
To build a culture of giving, it’s important to get the right people on the bus (thanks to Jim Collins for his Good to Great book). But, Collins also taught to get the wrong people off the bus. Takers may be fakers. They will give the impression to be a giver, but only take away. Think of typical taker behavior like kiss up and kick down in the organization’s hierarchy. Matchers will match their behaviours to others. So, if givers are actively giving, also matchers will give more.
Practice (think of the 10,000 hours to master anything, according to Malcolm Gladwell). Giving has to be reinforced, promoted, rewarded. Think of modern peer bonus programs. Kudos or Klout scores given by friends and followers. Help-seeking needs to be encouraged, because a request for help gives an opportunity to give or share. And, leverage your network. Actions speak louder than words and think of powerful references. Don’t limit yourself to your strong ties, but do use the weak ties and dormant ties, because these people did learn different things than your inner circle, and might be the ones with original, innovating answers to your request. Takers won’t get access to these connections (because their fame will keep doors closed).
Grant demystifies psychological and sociological behaviors like projection. So, instead of “what would you do?”, “what would you think others would do?” reveals more of your own beliefs and paradigms. Nice people aren’t necessarily the helping ones. Think of the power of “5 minute favors”: costing you little time, but really helping others out. There’s a bunch of self-tests and background information available at [...]

Adam Grant’s research on generosity proves that nice guys (and gals) may not, in the short view, finish first…but they do finish “best”. “Best” meaning longer term, more robust success – and success that elevates those around them. He uses case studies of iconic and notorious figures, and turns our definition of success on its head by really looking at what those individuals accomplished. The true story is that NO ONE achieves the highest pinnacles of success without a network, and the most successful are those generous or giving individuals who don’t keep score in our traditional quid pro quo, reciprocal fashion. This book will challenge not only how you see your individual “score sheet”, but how you approach your colleagues, teams, and familial relationships. A truly enjoyable and engaging book, and one that is sure to make its way into the top leadership must-reads.

Give "Give and Take" a read and then give it a try. It will change your life and the people around you. Wayne Dyer famously said, "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." That is no more true than when you become a giver, especially if you have previously been a taker or even a matcher. BTW one of the reasons giving - especially with absolutely no thought of receiving anything in return - is so effective is that it causes others to lower their guard and lean in towards you. If any of this speaks to you, "Give and Take" is your best guide and inspiration to make it happen.

"Give and Take" is an extraordinary book that proves through examples that otherish givers are more successful than takers, matchers, and selfless givers. Otherish givers give in a way that avoids burnout (meaning they don't give to the point that they are a doormat), they trust but verify first, they become matchers in their exchanges with takers, etc.

At first it may appear givers do not get ahead in business. However, Adam Grant proves with his numerous examples that, in the end, supreme givers like Adam Rifkin and Peter Audet are extremely successful. The author also proved this in his classroom at Wharton through a giving exercise called the Reciprocity Ring. He had each student make a request to the class asking for help and they in turn would try to use their knowledge, resources, and connections to help fulfill that request. What he found is that many successful alliances were formed. For instance, one student received valuable advice from an ex-CEO of Six Flags about his hope of running a Six Flags of his own. What these experiments also showed is that the act of giving puts others in the mood to give, which is why Freecycle is thriving.

Adam Grant proves his case and does so with a clear writing style very similar to the way Malcolm Gladwell writes in his books Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking,The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference, and Outliers: The Story of Success.

I've always been a person with a "how can I help you attitude" and believe wholeheartedly in the "otherish" giver approach. A colleague of mine recommended this as an excellent read and I am glad I took his advice. What a gem of a book this is!

American business is supposed to be a tough, ultra-competitive arena where only the strong survive, and nice guys get trampled, right? According to this book, that is not totally true.

This book looks at three different kinds of people. Takers claim as much value for themselves as possible. If, for instance, they are the CEO, they are the sort of person who has a full page picture of themselves in the company's annual report, where most other CEO's will have a much smaller picture in their annual report. Takers are very deferential to superiors, and very mean and inconsiderate to subordinates. They use words like I, me and mine, as if they single-handedly caused their company to have a profitable year.

Matchers aim to trade value evenly, as if they want to keep their spiritual inbox and outbox equal. Givers contribute to others without expecting anything in return.

The giving could involve something like arranging a business introduction, or mentoring a younger employee. There is a fine line between being a giver and a doormat; a giver must also make sure that their business duties are not being ignored. In the short term, takers may do better than givers, but, in the long term, a giver's networking, collaboration and leadership skills will come to the forefront. A giver uses words like we, us and ours.

How can a person increase their giving capacity? Take a test to see just how much of a giver you really are. Start a reciprocity ring at work. A group of employees meet weekly to make requests of each other. The intention is that everyone do what they can to fulfill those requests. It may seem a bit silly, but someone in your circle may know someone who knows someone who can fulfill your request. Publicly recognize givers at work. If you would rather give on your own, start a Personal Generosity Experiment.

This is a very thought-provoking book, which shows that nice people can finish first. The average CEO, or division head, could do a lot worse than read this book, and start to implement its recommendations.

The priceless core lesson of Grant's extraordinary book (my favorite on behavior since Quiet) is that we can become successful and lead a satisfying life with others if we learn the right way to give. This talented, widely-liked and introverted social scientist divides the world into givers, takers and matchers:

* The majority of us are givers, according to Grant, yet "are overrepresented at both ends of the spectrum of success."

* "Takers seek to come out ahead in every exchange; they manage up and are defensive about their turf.

* Matchers expect some kind of quid pro quo, "with a master chit list in mind."

What makes some givers successful and sought-after is that they have both a deep, evident caring for others, yet they also attend to their own self-interest. They are not "doormats." Grant cites three relevant behaviors for being productive, happy givers:

Be judicious about giving to takers
Give in ways that reinforce and support your most vital relationships. (You can't serve everyone extremely well and care for yourself) Consolidate your giving into chunks of time with an individual or group so your support has a more substantial, meaningful impact From my experience a fourth point is also vital to delivering the most helpful value for others, and yourself:

Recognize the Need to Feel Needed and Connected

In art as in life it is often a matter of where you draw the line, the saying goes, and to succeed at work you need to draw a line to create healthy boundaries. Sacrificing your precious time with closest friends, colleagues and family members because you are devoting it to too many others may not be judicious choice for the self-care that Grant advocates.

Grant Packs Many Actionable Insights Into Give and Take

His many thoughtful insights on productive giving can help us hone our approach. This is one of those books you will find yourself underlining every other sentence before giving up and recognizing it will become a handy guide to which you will return and re-read as situations crop up. All nine chapters were sequentially helpful, including these topics: How Givers, Takers, and Matchers Build Networks; How to be Modest and Influence People; Why Some Givers Burn Out But Others Are on Fire; and Overcoming the Doormat Effect. As Grant noted on his Facebook page (generously citing others, of course), "Ultimately, I focused on success because there has been surprisingly little written about how helpfulness influences productivity, work quality, promotions, and other objective measures of achievement and performance in organizations. By contrast, there are quite a few excellent books that deal with giving and happiness (see The How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want, Happy Money by Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton Happy Money: The Science of Smarter Spending, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun, and Why Good Things Happen to Good People: How to Live a Longer, Healthier, Happier Life by the Simple Act of Giving by Stephen Post and colleagues)."

This book is the proof from a professor that people who consistently help others without expecting anything in return can with a few adjustments become successful, instead of burning out and being a doormat.

There are three types of people: Givers, Takers, and Matchers. Givers are like the sun and illuminate those around them, takers like a black hole. Matchers are about reciprocity. Each type can achieve success in a different way. This book has interesting stories from a wide variety of professions, industries, public and private people, athletes, CEO's, lawyer, entertainment folks, politicians, and technologist.

Many of the givers are not household names yet they are in their world the most respected and successful people around. Adam Rifkin, a giver, says you should be willing to do anything for anyone in 5 minutes or less. David Hornik, a giver, says I want to demonstrate success that doesn't come at someone else's expense.

He has classified givers as selfless or other-directed. Selfless givers don't take care of themselves, burnout, or are seen as doormats. The three major traps they fall into are being too trusting, too empathic, and too timid. They help others to their determent. Other-directed givers ask for help when they need it, focus their giving into meaningful chunks of time, get feedback, and are validated from their giving. People are a mixture of all three types and it is situational. You can rate yourself with an assessment at www.giveandtake.com it is 15 questions and allows you to compare your profile with others similar to you and has the option to ask others for their input on you.

I was curious about the role of biology on giving and wish this was more than a footnote in the book, "Are women more likely to be givers than men?"

I loved this book. It has put words to what I have spent my life learning the hard way. The insights on powerless communication and the two types of givers hit home for me. This book shows how to give in a sustainable way. The last chapter is called Actions for Impact. It's a list of ten resources for applying the lessons in the book for healthy giving.

The helping professionals I train in self-care often have long-standing patterns of accommodating, people pleasing and over-extending themselves to the point of burnout. I equip them with skills and information and help them create personalized self-care plans to support optimal health.

But life-long underlying relational dynamics frequently sabotage self-care efforts. We know what we want to do, make a short-lived success at it, but then get pulled off track and back into self-neglect.

Adam Grant's book Give and Take: Why Helping others Drives our Success took my understanding of the costs and rewards of giving to a new level. His identification of three types of reciprocity styles--givers, matchers and takers--gave me a conceptual framework for thinking about how to work with myself and other helpers who are blessed and cursed with the "giver" style.

- Takers strive to get as much as possible from others--it's all about them!

- Matchers seek to evenly with others--tit-for-tat!

- Givers contribute to others without expecting anything back!

Interestingly, givers are both the champs and chumps when it comes to professional success. When we make others better off at our own expense we end up at the bottom of the success ladder. "It appears that givers are just too caring, too trusting, and too willing to sacrifice their own interests for the benefit of others." But when we learn what Grant calls the skill of "sincerity screening" we can create value for ourselves while maximizing opportunities to give to others.

Sincerity screening involves learning "to distinguish genuine givers from takers and fakers. Successful givers need to know who's likely to manipulate them so that they can protect themselves." To learn more about assessing motivations check out Adam's presentation at Google.

Give and Take is full of research and examples of the many factors involved in assessing reciprocity styles. Illustrations from business, education, professional sports and health professions along with fascinating studies of corporate dynamics makes the book entertaining as well as information.

My reading in Henri Nouwen's The Inner Voice of Love this morning brought spiritual insight about how to give without burning out:

When you get exhausted, frustrated, over-whelmed or run down, your body is saying that you are doing things that are none of your business. God does not require of you what is beyond your ability, what leads you away from God, or what makes you depressed or sad.

I'm grateful for both Adam and Henri this morning. I want to follow Jesus' revolutionary call to "give to everyone who asks..."

I give thanks in advance for the good that will come as I listen to the inner voice of love and deepen my understanding of how to identify the takers and fakers who aren't operating from the same value system. I don't know what Jesus would have said about giving to the takers and fakers. I suspect it's related to what he said to the Scribes and Pharisees about the dangers of hypocrisy. It's a matter of discernment that I'll continue to ponder and pray over as I seek to give to those who ask as I do what is within my ability to do.

As entrepreneurs, what kind of people do you think do best in business - the Givers, the Takers or the Matchers?

Adam Grant has an answer to that question, and it's one he's qualified to give. He's the youngest tenured professor at the Wharton Business School, USA.

Most people, he says, expect that Takers will finish first. But the research he's done has found an answer that will surprise you. Givers finish last, but Takers don't finish first. While some Givers do finish last, other Givers come out on top. Takers and matchers settle in the middle. "Otherish Givers" - those who nurture themselves - are the ones that win.

Grant presents his argument well. He's taken care to ground his opinion in scientific research and he uses case studies to bring his points to life.

But what makes this book of greatest value to an entrepreneur is that it's practical. Grant reveals the mistakes Selfless Givers make that see them finish last, and explains why Otherish Givers win. At the end of the book there's a section, "Actions for impact".

Read this to be convinced of the need to become an Otherish Giver - and find a roadmap to get you there.

I have been looking forward to this book because I have heard so many positive things about it leading up to its release. It is a very well written book, and I am looking forward to reading more from Adam Grant in the future (a business professor who is a professional magician too . . . only good things can come from that combination). As talented as Grant is, and you can tell just from reading it how much work he poured into the book, I felt that it fell short in ways that other recent books have succeeded.

The basic premise of the book is that "Givers" are more successful in the long run, for a variety of reasons. This is especially true now in the United States because so many people, up to 80%, work in a service industry. Giving pays huge dividends, and Grant proves his theory with anecdotal evidence backed up by research studies.

What I Liked:

* The first chapter was very good. The argument that givers are more successful across a wide variety of fields is made succinctly, and the evidence is hard to argue with.
* Love all the practical tools in the last chapter.
* Stories chosen throughout the book are all new to me - no rehashing from other business books, which is a plus.

What I Didn't Like:

* Though the stories are different, I was not compelled by most of them. They were interesting, but the connection to the chapter material lacked in some places.
* The first and last chapter were great, but I would rate the middle as mediocre. Every chapter felt like it was just too long, like the publisher had a quota to fill and just stretched the material as far as it would go to get up to 300 pages.
* While I agree with the premise, I'm not sure I would be convinced if I hadn't already been on his side before reading the book. Did not read like a persuasive book.

I wish the author would have interspersed more practical application throughout the book. A book in a similar vein, To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others, offers practical sections at the end of each chapter. Pink also argues for a new approach to business based on our service economy and, while he doesn't define them as givers, they come to many similar conclusions. Because I just read Pink's book and because of all the practical application, I will be recommending it over Give & Take should anyone ask. Would be hard to recommend reading both - as good as Grant's book is, there are others available that are more suitable for a wider audience.

Hard to put this book down. Besides having well researched information on the ways people act as givers or takers the book also has suggestions on how to avoid burn-out when giving hurts your own life.

This is not a self-help book as much as it gives insight on why people act certain ways. Anyone in the business world, the non-profit world or really any adult will get valuable tips that help deal with "takers" by learning how to spot them earlier than usual and head them off.

I had already figured out through experience some of these ideas but one important idea brought out is that sometimes by giving MORE but in a different way helps cure burnout instead of stopping altogether which can be depressing if you enjoy helping people.

And guess what--"givers" live longer and are healthier than other people (mostly) but again you need to make sure you are giving in a healthy way.

Revolutionary in its implications, this book has the capacity to profoundly and positively transform the way we interact in business and our personal lives. It may become one of the most influential business books in this age, and powerful in its ripple effects. This book demonstrates, in clear and simple language, that one style of interaction creates lasting success not only for yourself, but expands success to include others.

If you have heard the expression "nice guys finish last", it turns out they do. However, that's not the whole story, and the rest of the story is riveting. Author-researcher-professor Adam Grant has spent ten years researching who does finish first and why. In this revolutionary book - which I can't praise highly enough - Grant explains that folks are divided into givers, takers and matchers.

"But evidence shows that at work, the vast majority of people develop a primary reciprocity style, which captures how they approach most of the people most of the time," says Grant. "And this primary style can play as much of a role in our success as hard work, talent and luck." Grant finds that we have a preferred style in which we either prefer to 'give' without concern about "what's in it for me", or we 'take' and put our own interests first, or we 'match' in a quid pro quo fashion, trying to equalize giving and taking.

So, if givers are the LEAST successful in business, according to Grant, then who is the MOST successful? Turns out it's the givers again! Grant says there's a caveat on giving: you have to be intelligent and strategic about it, so you don't get taken advantage of by takers. Grant describes why giving is even more successful in this age of increased transparency, technology, teams, acceleration, social media and an 80% service economy.

"According to conventional wisdom, highly successful people have three things in common: motivation, ability and opportunity." But there's a fourth ingredient, suggests Grant, "...one that's critical but often neglected: success depends heavily on how we approach our interactions with other people. Every time we interact with another person at work, we have a choice to make: do we try to claim as much value as we can, or contribute value without worrying about what we receive in return?"

Grant describes how he first became fascinated by this dynamic through personal experiences as a diving champ and in business. "...I decided to spend the rest of my career teaching other givers what I had discovered about overcoming the doormat effect. In this book, I want to persuade you that we underestimate the success of givers.... Although we often stereotype givers as chumps and doormats, they turn out to be surprisingly successful. To figure out why givers dominate the top of the success ladder, we'll examine startling studies and stories that illuminate how giving can be more powerful - and less dangerous - than most people believe." He also includes hard statistics - in a study of opticians, the givers brought in 30% more revenue than matchers, and 68% more than takers.

Examining what strategies separate the champs from the chumps, Grant offers ideas so you don't function as a doormat for the takers to exploit or experience giver burnout. His third aim, he says, is to show that when givers succeed, something distinctive occurs: the giving spreads and cascades. "Givers succeed in a way that creates a ripple effect, enhancing the success of people around them. You'll see that the difference lies in how giver success creates value, instead of just claiming it."

He describes how successful givers have unique approaches in four key domains: networking, collaborating, evaluating and influencing. Giving influenced the success of Twitter, Craig's List, the band Green Day, and Adam Rifkin, the individual with the largest network on LinkedIn (who has a review here you should read.) One giver in a group can increase everyone's giving. You may be fascinated with the potential of "reciprocity rings," which Adam uses in his classes at Wharton, in which each student makes a request to the class, and the class tries to use their knowledge, resources and connections to fulfill the request.

This isn't just theory, or feel good stories, that you read and forget. Grant includes "actions for impact" at the end of the book for you to act upon. However, he cautions, if you give with the thought primarily of getting, you won't be successful. "... if you do it only to succeed, it probably won't work."

"By shifting ever so slightly in the giver direction, we might find our waking hours marked by greater success, richer meaning and more lasting impact," Grant suggests. This book should have a lasting impact in business and create a cascade in giving which will make our environments at work, and outside of work, a joy to be in. It is the best book I've read in ages because of its transformative implications regarding expanding success and authentic joy. It should become a classic.

I really enjoy these types of books. Like Grant's book, Originals as well as those by Malcolm Gladwell, Give and Take is filled with interesting case studies from a variety of fields that focus on specific themes. The over-arching theme in this volume is one of generosity versus selfishness. Which path leads to greater success and/or satisfaction? The examination of that query is an interesting one and the answer is reaffirming.

This book was very helpful. A lot of books have been written with the tone of "giving is better than taking," but I like how this book admitted that a giving person is subject to being taken advantage of. More importantly, it explained how you can avoid this pitfall. I suggest this book to anyone who wants to feel more fulfilled and grow - professionally or personally.

The book receives great praise by a range of best selling authors, entrepreneurs and researchers - as well as readers.

I can agree to this praise strongly and recommend this book to anyone. I find it is a book with a very important message and a mixture of fortifying some beliefs with empirical findings, but also plausibly explaining concrete advice and disproving other common biases and prejudices.

It comes with various examples from people in different industries and occupations as well as working with different companies, and citing results from a variety of mostly recent psychological studies in the US and worldwide.

Also, I find his suggestions on concrete actions in the last chapter interesting, along with the weblinks to further sources of information and tools.

In Essence, the book describes how exactly being a helpful giver is superior to being a self-serving taker or a tit-for-tat matcher. Superior both for your own career chances, as well as for your happiness and health – and that of the people around you.

I found it very helpful in fortifying my own belief in giving freely with just a few sensible precautions against being ripped off by others, and that giving does not entail compromising on your own perspectives. I am very glad(well) about that ;-).

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I have written a longer review of the book including the explained concepts and methods plus a lot of the links Grant gives to further information on my blog under http://uberwork.wordpress.com/2014/12/31/book-review-give-and-take/

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Grant postulates three basic kinds of behavior or personality styles when it comes to interrelations: givers, takers and matchers. A fourth style if you count fakers – takers that on the outside pose as warm and agreeable.

Matchers follow the tit for tat mentality: an even balance of expecting as much in return as you give, an internal accounting.
Takers only give when they expect to gain more from it.
Givers give more than they can expect to get in return. Or they don’t expect a return favor. They put others’ best interests ahead of their own.
This means that it doesn’t take a selfless heroic Gandhi personality, just acting with a focus on acting in the interest of others.

Grant also states that our own behavior often strongly differs in different contexts: we may be takers in our professional relations, matchers in our private dealings and givers with our closest friends and family. This also has a cultural dimension.

When looking at studies on career development, the interesting thing is that at the bottom you find strong givers. But at the top you also find strong givers!

So you can do it really wrong and end up losing, or really right.

The book is on how to decide and act accordingly.

Givers do not need to accept getting less than others and being less successful.

The opposite is true: giving can be a conscious ethical lifestyle decision because you think that it is the best way to deal with others and you encourage others to act the same way to you and others. You realistically want to make your relations more worthwhile and valuable. You can choose giving because you think that this behavior will result in the best results all in all. And you will be right according to strong evidence, if you do it right.

How often each day are you taking from others without reciprocating? Or, are you in constant mode of giving help 24/7? Adam Grant's brilliant new book called Give and Take is an exceptional well researched book outlining the way that being a giver can influence your life. Like Youngme Moon, Dan Ariely and Daniel Pink, this is another important marketing thought leader with some great insights.

Grant describes three types of people. Givers, Takers and those in between that he calls Matchers.

The givers are those who are always helping others to connect, to get information and to mentor. They aren't looking for anything in return but believe that this is how they want to be in the world. When a giver meets someone new, she tries to find a way to help expand the new acquaintances' network. Without asking for something in return, she selfishly gives her time.

The takers are those at the other extreme who want to get something from others to help themselves. They aren't looking for reciprocity but are only looking out for themselves. Takers tend to have big networks too but in part they are often burning bridges and need to keep finding new connections. They live in a `leaky bucket' kind of world. They are only in it for themselves. Their interest is singular - what can you do for me?

In the middle are these matchers who I like to describe as the Quid Pro Quos- you do this for me and I'll do that for you. Matchers say, "I can help you connect with this important person but in return, what can you do for me?" They see the world as an exchange of favors and need to even out the giving and taking.

SURPRISING RESULTS
Givers tend to be over represented at the bottom of the pack in many industries according to Grant. By bottom of the pack he means in terms of their successful careers. But his findings also show that givers also are over represented at the top too. It seems that givers can find themselves so absorb with helping others all the time that they don't act in their own short term benefit. However, in the long run they tend to be the ones who people come back to with opportunities. Givers benefit the most in the long term.

The book is rich with research and real world examples like Frank Lloyd Wright, Jonas Salk and even an accounting professor at UNC and Duke named CJ Skender who has successfully taught over 35,000 students. One of my favorite stories is about what Grant calls powerless communications which has to do with humility as a tool for being heard.

To learn more about the book and Grant who teaches at my alma mater, check out his video on YouTube about his thesis. Very entertaining.

MARKETING STRATEGIES TODAY
What intrigued me about the book was thinking about the marketing profession and how important being a giver is today in the social media world. If you aren't putting out 25 gifts to your community (on Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin and other social media sites) versus the 1 ask that you make, you may be acting against your best interest. Giving and being generous is a marketing strategy that most successful marketing professionals I know follow. Those at the top of their game tend to intuitively know that freely giving is the best default setting.

Try this little experiment this month:

Track how often someone asks for a favor and keep track of your response. Do you act without asking for something in return or are you just purely giving? Monitor what you do online if it's a give or a take or somewhere in the middle.

How often do you ask followers to do something for you versus doing something for them like provide interesting articles, links or podcasts.

Identify coworkers who fit into one of these two categories and observe their behavior and how they act when requests come to them.

Are you a giver, a taker or a matcher?

About me: I write about unraveling marketing strategies at my blog called MomentSlater.blogspot.com Check it out.

When it comes to business ethics, we tend to believe that self-interest is the only possible road to success: we are under the general impression that in a 'dog-eat-dog' world, those who combine motivation and abilities with a good dose of self-protective opportunism will put their own interests ahead of other people's needs, take more than they give, and, in doing so, rise to the top of the success ladder, faster, more steadily, and more profitably than anybody else. Not according to Adam Grant, youngest tenured professor at The Wharton School (University of Pennsylvania), world's top forty business professor under forty, and award-winning researcher.

As an advocate of positive psychology, Grant argues that greed doesn't ultimately lead to success. There is a fourth element we need to consider when analyzing the ingredients of a successful career: hard work, talent, and luck are not the only driving forces fueling high performances and productiveness. The way we interact with other people in our work environment (whether with a creative generosity and positive attitude, or with a self-centered reciprocity and self-protective ambition) is what truly defines us in our profession. Since we spend a considerable amount of our time (if not most of it) doing our job, our work becomes a fundamental part of who we are. We may, therefore, need to adopt in the workplace the same positive and altruistic values we normally reserve to our personal relationships (friendship and marriage).

Examining professional interactions across diverse lines of work, the Wharton professor claims that we can be divided in three different behavioural categories:

Takers
Givers
Matchers

Takers are self-focused, competitive, and always ready to get as much credit for their efforts as possible. Givers, on the contrary, act in the general interest, helping others and providing mentoring. They share time, ideas, skills, and connections, in a true team spirit. Matchers place themselves between the opposite ends of the behavioral spectrum: they are the ones who will pursue fairness, taking as much as they give. The lines between these three reciprocity styles are not always well defined, but it's safe to say that in the course of our careers we all develop a primary approach. Experience teaches us that altruism and affability on the workplace aren't regarded as indicators of talent and strength, they rather overshadow Givers' true potential, compromising their own success, and letting dominant behaviors advance for job promotions and higher paychecks. But is it always the case?

With the support of a plethora of emblematic examples, anecdotes, and theoretical thinking rooted in organizational psychology (the study of human behavior within an organization, group, or class), Grant goes on demonstrating why and how takers are not necessarily the strongest and most successful performers, and how, in our digital era and deeply interconnected world, those who strive to help others have the potential to become incredibly successful achievers, a rare breed of people capable of creating value for themselves while maximizing opportunities for the benefit of a group, team, community. 'Giving' is professionally risky, but when it is motivated by a genuine interest and structured in a creative and intelligent form (using persuasion, networking, motivation, negotiation, communication), the positive effects of such a business ethic cascade and spread, generating, in its wake, consensus and emulation.

Unlike many business manuals, and despite the impressive preparation of this author in matter of business psychology, Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success doesn't suffer the drawbacks of academic formality. Grant's writing, although always elaborated and robust, is eloquent without being tedious, informative without being overwhelming. His bold reasoning is ultimately inspiring and uplifting, if not always realistic.

Extended review available on Mina's Bookshelf

"Give and Take" is an extraordinary book that proves through examples that otherish givers are more successful than takers, matchers, and selfless givers. Otherish givers give in a way that avoids burnout (meaning they don't give to the point that they are a doormat), they trust but verify first, they become matchers in their exchanges with takers, etc.

At first it may appear givers do not get ahead in business. However, Adam Grant proves with his numerous examples that, in the end, supreme givers like Adam Rifkin and Peter Audet are extremely successful. The author also proved this in his classroom at Wharton through a giving exercise called the Reciprocity Ring. He had each student make a request to the class asking for help and they in turn would try to use their knowledge, resources, and connections to help fulfill that request. What he found is that many successful alliances were formed. For instance, one student received valuable advice from an ex-CEO of Six Flags about his hope of running a Six Flags of his own. What these experiments also showed is that the act of giving puts others in the mood to give, which is why Freecycle is thriving.

Adam Grant proves his case and does so with a clear writing style very similar to the way Malcolm Gladwell writes in his books Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking,The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference, and Outliers: The Story of Success.

I've always been a person with a "how can I help you attitude" and believe wholeheartedly in the "otherish" giver approach. A colleague of mine recommended this as an excellent read and I am glad I took his advice. What a gem of a book this is!

American business is supposed to be a tough, ultra-competitive arena where only the strong survive, and nice guys get trampled, right? According to this book, that is not totally true.

This book looks at three different kinds of people. Takers claim as much value for themselves as possible. If, for instance, they are the CEO, they are the sort of person who has a full page picture of themselves in the company's annual report, where most other CEO's will have a much smaller picture in their annual report. Takers are very deferential to superiors, and very mean and inconsiderate to subordinates. They use words like I, me and mine, as if they single-handedly caused their company to have a profitable year.

Matchers aim to trade value evenly, as if they want to keep their spiritual inbox and outbox equal. Givers contribute to others without expecting anything in return.

The giving could involve something like arranging a business introduction, or mentoring a younger employee. There is a fine line between being a giver and a doormat; a giver must also make sure that their business duties are not being ignored. In the short term, takers may do better than givers, but, in the long term, a giver's networking, collaboration and leadership skills will come to the forefront. A giver uses words like we, us and ours.

How can a person increase their giving capacity? Take a test to see just how much of a giver you really are. Start a reciprocity ring at work. A group of employees meet weekly to make requests of each other. The intention is that everyone do what they can to fulfill those requests. It may seem a bit silly, but someone in your circle may know someone who knows someone who can fulfill your request. Publicly recognize givers at work. If you would rather give on your own, start a Personal Generosity Experiment.

This is a very thought-provoking book, which shows that nice people can finish first. The average CEO, or division head, could do a lot worse than read this book, and start to implement its recommendations.

The priceless core lesson of Grant's extraordinary book (my favorite on behavior since Quiet) is that we can become successful and lead a satisfying life with others if we learn the right way to give. This talented, widely-liked and introverted social scientist divides the world into givers, takers and matchers:

* The majority of us are givers, according to Grant, yet "are overrepresented at both ends of the spectrum of success."

* "Takers seek to come out ahead in every exchange; they manage up and are defensive about their turf.

* Matchers expect some kind of quid pro quo, "with a master chit list in mind."

What makes some givers successful and sought-after is that they have both a deep, evident caring for others, yet they also attend to their own self-interest. They are not "doormats." Grant cites three relevant behaviors for being productive, happy givers:

Be judicious about giving to takers
Give in ways that reinforce and support your most vital relationships. (You can't serve everyone extremely well and care for yourself) Consolidate your giving into chunks of time with an individual or group so your support has a more substantial, meaningful impact From my experience a fourth point is also vital to delivering the most helpful value for others, and yourself:

Recognize the Need to Feel Needed and Connected

In art as in life it is often a matter of where you draw the line, the saying goes, and to succeed at work you need to draw a line to create healthy boundaries. Sacrificing your precious time with closest friends, colleagues and family members because you are devoting it to too many others may not be judicious choice for the self-care that Grant advocates.

Grant Packs Many Actionable Insights Into Give and Take

His many thoughtful insights on productive giving can help us hone our approach. This is one of those books you will find yourself underlining every other sentence before giving up and recognizing it will become a handy guide to which you will return and re-read as situations crop up. All nine chapters were sequentially helpful, including these topics: How Givers, Takers, and Matchers Build Networks; How to be Modest and Influence People; Why Some Givers Burn Out But Others Are on Fire; and Overcoming the Doormat Effect. As Grant noted on his Facebook page (generously citing others, of course), "Ultimately, I focused on success because there has been surprisingly little written about how helpfulness influences productivity, work quality, promotions, and other objective measures of achievement and performance in organizations. By contrast, there are quite a few excellent books that deal with giving and happiness (see The How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want, Happy Money by Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton Happy Money: The Science of Smarter Spending, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun, and Why Good Things Happen to Good People: How to Live a Longer, Healthier, Happier Life by the Simple Act of Giving by Stephen Post and colleagues)."

This book is the proof from a professor that people who consistently help others without expecting anything in return can with a few adjustments become successful, instead of burning out and being a doormat.

There are three types of people: Givers, Takers, and Matchers. Givers are like the sun and illuminate those around them, takers like a black hole. Matchers are about reciprocity. Each type can achieve success in a different way. This book has interesting stories from a wide variety of professions, industries, public and private people, athletes, CEO's, lawyer, entertainment folks, politicians, and technologist.

Many of the givers are not household names yet they are in their world the most respected and successful people around. Adam Rifkin, a giver, says you should be willing to do anything for anyone in 5 minutes or less. David Hornik, a giver, says I want to demonstrate success that doesn't come at someone else's expense.

He has classified givers as selfless or other-directed. Selfless givers don't take care of themselves, burnout, or are seen as doormats. The three major traps they fall into are being too trusting, too empathic, and too timid. They help others to their determent. Other-directed givers ask for help when they need it, focus their giving into meaningful chunks of time, get feedback, and are validated from their giving. People are a mixture of all three types and it is situational. You can rate yourself with an assessment at www.giveandtake.com it is 15 questions and allows you to compare your profile with others similar to you and has the option to ask others for their input on you.

I was curious about the role of biology on giving and wish this was more than a footnote in the book, "Are women more likely to be givers than men?"

I loved this book. It has put words to what I have spent my life learning the hard way. The insights on powerless communication and the two types of givers hit home for me. This book shows how to give in a sustainable way. The last chapter is called Actions for Impact. It's a list of ten resources for applying the lessons in the book for healthy giving.

The helping professionals I train in self-care often have long-standing patterns of accommodating, people pleasing and over-extending themselves to the point of burnout. I equip them with skills and information and help them create personalized self-care plans to support optimal health.

But life-long underlying relational dynamics frequently sabotage self-care efforts. We know what we want to do, make a short-lived success at it, but then get pulled off track and back into self-neglect.

Adam Grant's book Give and Take: Why Helping others Drives our Success took my understanding of the costs and rewards of giving to a new level. His identification of three types of reciprocity styles--givers, matchers and takers--gave me a conceptual framework for thinking about how to work with myself and other helpers who are blessed and cursed with the "giver" style.

- Takers strive to get as much as possible from others--it's all about them!

- Matchers seek to evenly with others--tit-for-tat!

- Givers contribute to others without expecting anything back!

Interestingly, givers are both the champs and chumps when it comes to professional success. When we make others better off at our own expense we end up at the bottom of the success ladder. "It appears that givers are just too caring, too trusting, and too willing to sacrifice their own interests for the benefit of others." But when we learn what Grant calls the skill of "sincerity screening" we can create value for ourselves while maximizing opportunities to give to others.

Sincerity screening involves learning "to distinguish genuine givers from takers and fakers. Successful givers need to know who's likely to manipulate them so that they can protect themselves." To learn more about assessing motivations check out Adam's presentation at Google.

Give and Take is full of research and examples of the many factors involved in assessing reciprocity styles. Illustrations from business, education, professional sports and health professions along with fascinating studies of corporate dynamics makes the book entertaining as well as information.

My reading in Henri Nouwen's The Inner Voice of Love this morning brought spiritual insight about how to give without burning out:

When you get exhausted, frustrated, over-whelmed or run down, your body is saying that you are doing things that are none of your business. God does not require of you what is beyond your ability, what leads you away from God, or what makes you depressed or sad.

I'm grateful for both Adam and Henri this morning. I want to follow Jesus' revolutionary call to "give to everyone who asks..."

I give thanks in advance for the good that will come as I listen to the inner voice of love and deepen my understanding of how to identify the takers and fakers who aren't operating from the same value system. I don't know what Jesus would have said about giving to the takers and fakers. I suspect it's related to what he said to the Scribes and Pharisees about the dangers of hypocrisy. It's a matter of discernment that I'll continue to ponder and pray over as I seek to give to those who ask as I do what is within my ability to do.

As entrepreneurs, what kind of people do you think do best in business - the Givers, the Takers or the Matchers?

Adam Grant has an answer to that question, and it's one he's qualified to give. He's the youngest tenured professor at the Wharton Business School, USA.

Most people, he says, expect that Takers will finish first. But the research he's done has found an answer that will surprise you. Givers finish last, but Takers don't finish first. While some Givers do finish last, other Givers come out on top. Takers and matchers settle in the middle. "Otherish Givers" - those who nurture themselves - are the ones that win.

Grant presents his argument well. He's taken care to ground his opinion in scientific research and he uses case studies to bring his points to life.

But what makes this book of greatest value to an entrepreneur is that it's practical. Grant reveals the mistakes Selfless Givers make that see them finish last, and explains why Otherish Givers win. At the end of the book there's a section, "Actions for impact".

Read this to be convinced of the need to become an Otherish Giver - and find a roadmap to get you there.

I have been looking forward to this book because I have heard so many positive things about it leading up to its release. It is a very well written book, and I am looking forward to reading more from Adam Grant in the future (a business professor who is a professional magician too . . . only good things can come from that combination). As talented as Grant is, and you can tell just from reading it how much work he poured into the book, I felt that it fell short in ways that other recent books have succeeded.

The basic premise of the book is that "Givers" are more successful in the long run, for a variety of reasons. This is especially true now in the United States because so many people, up to 80%, work in a service industry. Giving pays huge dividends, and Grant proves his theory with anecdotal evidence backed up by research studies.

What I Liked:

* The first chapter was very good. The argument that givers are more successful across a wide variety of fields is made succinctly, and the evidence is hard to argue with.
* Love all the practical tools in the last chapter.
* Stories chosen throughout the book are all new to me - no rehashing from other business books, which is a plus.

What I Didn't Like:

* Though the stories are different, I was not compelled by most of them. They were interesting, but the connection to the chapter material lacked in some places.
* The first and last chapter were great, but I would rate the middle as mediocre. Every chapter felt like it was just too long, like the publisher had a quota to fill and just stretched the material as far as it would go to get up to 300 pages.
* While I agree with the premise, I'm not sure I would be convinced if I hadn't already been on his side before reading the book. Did not read like a persuasive book.

I wish the author would have interspersed more practical application throughout the book. A book in a similar vein, To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others, offers practical sections at the end of each chapter. Pink also argues for a new approach to business based on our service economy and, while he doesn't define them as givers, they come to many similar conclusions. Because I just read Pink's book and because of all the practical application, I will be recommending it over Give & Take should anyone ask. Would be hard to recommend reading both - as good as Grant's book is, there are others available that are more suitable for a wider audience.

Hard to put this book down. Besides having well researched information on the ways people act as givers or takers the book also has suggestions on how to avoid burn-out when giving hurts your own life.

This is not a self-help book as much as it gives insight on why people act certain ways. Anyone in the business world, the non-profit world or really any adult will get valuable tips that help deal with "takers" by learning how to spot them earlier than usual and head them off.

I had already figured out through experience some of these ideas but one important idea brought out is that sometimes by giving MORE but in a different way helps cure burnout instead of stopping altogether which can be depressing if you enjoy helping people.

And guess what--"givers" live longer and are healthier than other people (mostly) but again you need to make sure you are giving in a healthy way.

Revolutionary in its implications, this book has the capacity to profoundly and positively transform the way we interact in business and our personal lives. It may become one of the most influential business books in this age, and powerful in its ripple effects. This book demonstrates, in clear and simple language, that one style of interaction creates lasting success not only for yourself, but expands success to include others.

If you have heard the expression "nice guys finish last", it turns out they do. However, that's not the whole story, and the rest of the story is riveting. Author-researcher-professor Adam Grant has spent ten years researching who does finish first and why. In this revolutionary book - which I can't praise highly enough - Grant explains that folks are divided into givers, takers and matchers.

"But evidence shows that at work, the vast majority of people develop a primary reciprocity style, which captures how they approach most of the people most of the time," says Grant. "And this primary style can play as much of a role in our success as hard work, talent and luck." Grant finds that we have a preferred style in which we either prefer to 'give' without concern about "what's in it for me", or we 'take' and put our own interests first, or we 'match' in a quid pro quo fashion, trying to equalize giving and taking.

So, if givers are the LEAST successful in business, according to Grant, then who is the MOST successful? Turns out it's the givers again! Grant says there's a caveat on giving: you have to be intelligent and strategic about it, so you don't get taken advantage of by takers. Grant describes why giving is even more successful in this age of increased transparency, technology, teams, acceleration, social media and an 80% service economy.

"According to conventional wisdom, highly successful people have three things in common: motivation, ability and opportunity." But there's a fourth ingredient, suggests Grant, "...one that's critical but often neglected: success depends heavily on how we approach our interactions with other people. Every time we interact with another person at work, we have a choice to make: do we try to claim as much value as we can, or contribute value without worrying about what we receive in return?"

Grant describes how he first became fascinated by this dynamic through personal experiences as a diving champ and in business. "...I decided to spend the rest of my career teaching other givers what I had discovered about overcoming the doormat effect. In this book, I want to persuade you that we underestimate the success of givers.... Although we often stereotype givers as chumps and doormats, they turn out to be surprisingly successful. To figure out why givers dominate the top of the success ladder, we'll examine startling studies and stories that illuminate how giving can be more powerful - and less dangerous - than most people believe." He also includes hard statistics - in a study of opticians, the givers brought in 30% more revenue than matchers, and 68% more than takers.

Examining what strategies separate the champs from the chumps, Grant offers ideas so you don't function as a doormat for the takers to exploit or experience giver burnout. His third aim, he says, is to show that when givers succeed, something distinctive occurs: the giving spreads and cascades. "Givers succeed in a way that creates a ripple effect, enhancing the success of people around them. You'll see that the difference lies in how giver success creates value, instead of just claiming it."

He describes how successful givers have unique approaches in four key domains: networking, collaborating, evaluating and influencing. Giving influenced the success of Twitter, Craig's List, the band Green Day, and Adam Rifkin, the individual with the largest network on LinkedIn (who has a review here you should read.) One giver in a group can increase everyone's giving. You may be fascinated with the potential of "reciprocity rings," which Adam uses in his classes at Wharton, in which each student makes a request to the class, and the class tries to use their knowledge, resources and connections to fulfill the request.

This isn't just theory, or feel good stories, that you read and forget. Grant includes "actions for impact" at the end of the book for you to act upon. However, he cautions, if you give with the thought primarily of getting, you won't be successful. "... if you do it only to succeed, it probably won't work."

"By shifting ever so slightly in the giver direction, we might find our waking hours marked by greater success, richer meaning and more lasting impact," Grant suggests. This book should have a lasting impact in business and create a cascade in giving which will make our environments at work, and outside of work, a joy to be in. It is the best book I've read in ages because of its transformative implications regarding expanding success and authentic joy. It should become a classic.

I really enjoy these types of books. Like Grant's book, Originals as well as those by Malcolm Gladwell, Give and Take is filled with interesting case studies from a variety of fields that focus on specific themes. The over-arching theme in this volume is one of generosity versus selfishness. Which path leads to greater success and/or satisfaction? The examination of that query is an interesting one and the answer is reaffirming.

This book was very helpful. A lot of books have been written with the tone of "giving is better than taking," but I like how this book admitted that a giving person is subject to being taken advantage of. More importantly, it explained how you can avoid this pitfall. I suggest this book to anyone who wants to feel more fulfilled and grow - professionally or personally.

The book receives great praise by a range of best selling authors, entrepreneurs and researchers - as well as readers.

I can agree to this praise strongly and recommend this book to anyone. I find it is a book with a very important message and a mixture of fortifying some beliefs with empirical findings, but also plausibly explaining concrete advice and disproving other common biases and prejudices.

It comes with various examples from people in different industries and occupations as well as working with different companies, and citing results from a variety of mostly recent psychological studies in the US and worldwide.

Also, I find his suggestions on concrete actions in the last chapter interesting, along with the weblinks to further sources of information and tools.

In Essence, the book describes how exactly being a helpful giver is superior to being a self-serving taker or a tit-for-tat matcher. Superior both for your own career chances, as well as for your happiness and health – and that of the people around you.

I found it very helpful in fortifying my own belief in giving freely with just a few sensible precautions against being ripped off by others, and that giving does not entail compromising on your own perspectives. I am very glad(well) about that ;-).

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I have written a longer review of the book including the explained concepts and methods plus a lot of the links Grant gives to further information on my blog under http://uberwork.wordpress.com/2014/12/31/book-review-give-and-take/

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Grant postulates three basic kinds of behavior or personality styles when it comes to interrelations: givers, takers and matchers. A fourth style if you count fakers – takers that on the outside pose as warm and agreeable.

Matchers follow the tit for tat mentality: an even balance of expecting as much in return as you give, an internal accounting.
Takers only give when they expect to gain more from it.
Givers give more than they can expect to get in return. Or they don’t expect a return favor. They put others’ best interests ahead of their own.
This means that it doesn’t take a selfless heroic Gandhi personality, just acting with a focus on acting in the interest of others.

Grant also states that our own behavior often strongly differs in different contexts: we may be takers in our professional relations, matchers in our private dealings and givers with our closest friends and family. This also has a cultural dimension.

When looking at studies on career development, the interesting thing is that at the bottom you find strong givers. But at the top you also find strong givers!

So you can do it really wrong and end up losing, or really right.

The book is on how to decide and act accordingly.

Givers do not need to accept getting less than others and being less successful.

The opposite is true: giving can be a conscious ethical lifestyle decision because you think that it is the best way to deal with others and you encourage others to act the same way to you and others. You realistically want to make your relations more worthwhile and valuable. You can choose giving because you think that this behavior will result in the best results all in all. And you will be right according to strong evidence, if you do it right.

How often each day are you taking from others without reciprocating? Or, are you in constant mode of giving help 24/7? Adam Grant's brilliant new book called Give and Take is an exceptional well researched book outlining the way that being a giver can influence your life. Like Youngme Moon, Dan Ariely and Daniel Pink, this is another important marketing thought leader with some great insights.

Grant describes three types of people. Givers, Takers and those in between that he calls Matchers.

The givers are those who are always helping others to connect, to get information and to mentor. They aren't looking for anything in return but believe that this is how they want to be in the world. When a giver meets someone new, she tries to find a way to help expand the new acquaintances' network. Without asking for something in return, she selfishly gives her time.

The takers are those at the other extreme who want to get something from others to help themselves. They aren't looking for reciprocity but are only looking out for themselves. Takers tend to have big networks too but in part they are often burning bridges and need to keep finding new connections. They live in a `leaky bucket' kind of world. They are only in it for themselves. Their interest is singular - what can you do for me?

In the middle are these matchers who I like to describe as the Quid Pro Quos- you do this for me and I'll do that for you. Matchers say, "I can help you connect with this important person but in return, what can you do for me?" They see the world as an exchange of favors and need to even out the giving and taking.

SURPRISING RESULTS
Givers tend to be over represented at the bottom of the pack in many industries according to Grant. By bottom of the pack he means in terms of their successful careers. But his findings also show that givers also are over represented at the top too. It seems that givers can find themselves so absorb with helping others all the time that they don't act in their own short term benefit. However, in the long run they tend to be the ones who people come back to with opportunities. Givers benefit the most in the long term.

The book is rich with research and real world examples like Frank Lloyd Wright, Jonas Salk and even an accounting professor at UNC and Duke named CJ Skender who has successfully taught over 35,000 students. One of my favorite stories is about what Grant calls powerless communications which has to do with humility as a tool for being heard.

To learn more about the book and Grant who teaches at my alma mater, check out his video on YouTube about his thesis. Very entertaining.

MARKETING STRATEGIES TODAY
What intrigued me about the book was thinking about the marketing profession and how important being a giver is today in the social media world. If you aren't putting out 25 gifts to your community (on Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin and other social media sites) versus the 1 ask that you make, you may be acting against your best interest. Giving and being generous is a marketing strategy that most successful marketing professionals I know follow. Those at the top of their game tend to intuitively know that freely giving is the best default setting.

Try this little experiment this month:

Track how often someone asks for a favor and keep track of your response. Do you act without asking for something in return or are you just purely giving? Monitor what you do online if it's a give or a take or somewhere in the middle.

How often do you ask followers to do something for you versus doing something for them like provide interesting articles, links or podcasts.

Identify coworkers who fit into one of these two categories and observe their behavior and how they act when requests come to them.

Are you a giver, a taker or a matcher?

About me: I write about unraveling marketing strategies at my blog called MomentSlater.blogspot.com Check it out.

When it comes to business ethics, we tend to believe that self-interest is the only possible road to success: we are under the general impression that in a 'dog-eat-dog' world, those who combine motivation and abilities with a good dose of self-protective opportunism will put their own interests ahead of other people's needs, take more than they give, and, in doing so, rise to the top of the success ladder, faster, more steadily, and more profitably than anybody else. Not according to Adam Grant, youngest tenured professor at The Wharton School (University of Pennsylvania), world's top forty business professor under forty, and award-winning researcher.

As an advocate of positive psychology, Grant argues that greed doesn't ultimately lead to success. There is a fourth element we need to consider when analyzing the ingredients of a successful career: hard work, talent, and luck are not the only driving forces fueling high performances and productiveness. The way we interact with other people in our work environment (whether with a creative generosity and positive attitude, or with a self-centered reciprocity and self-protective ambition) is what truly defines us in our profession. Since we spend a considerable amount of our time (if not most of it) doing our job, our work becomes a fundamental part of who we are. We may, therefore, need to adopt in the workplace the same positive and altruistic values we normally reserve to our personal relationships (friendship and marriage).

Examining professional interactions across diverse lines of work, the Wharton professor claims that we can be divided in three different behavioural categories:

Takers
Givers
Matchers

Takers are self-focused, competitive, and always ready to get as much credit for their efforts as possible. Givers, on the contrary, act in the general interest, helping others and providing mentoring. They share time, ideas, skills, and connections, in a true team spirit. Matchers place themselves between the opposite ends of the behavioral spectrum: they are the ones who will pursue fairness, taking as much as they give. The lines between these three reciprocity styles are not always well defined, but it's safe to say that in the course of our careers we all develop a primary approach. Experience teaches us that altruism and affability on the workplace aren't regarded as indicators of talent and strength, they rather overshadow Givers' true potential, compromising their own success, and letting dominant behaviors advance for job promotions and higher paychecks. But is it always the case?

With the support of a plethora of emblematic examples, anecdotes, and theoretical thinking rooted in organizational psychology (the study of human behavior within an organization, group, or class), Grant goes on demonstrating why and how takers are not necessarily the strongest and most successful performers, and how, in our digital era and deeply interconnected world, those who strive to help others have the potential to become incredibly successful achievers, a rare breed of people capable of creating value for themselves while maximizing opportunities for the benefit of a group, team, community. 'Giving' is professionally risky, but when it is motivated by a genuine interest and structured in a creative and intelligent form (using persuasion, networking, motivation, negotiation, communication), the positive effects of such a business ethic cascade and spread, generating, in its wake, consensus and emulation.

Unlike many business manuals, and despite the impressive preparation of this author in matter of business psychology, Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success doesn't suffer the drawbacks of academic formality. Grant's writing, although always elaborated and robust, is eloquent without being tedious, informative without being overwhelming. His bold reasoning is ultimately inspiring and uplifting, if not always realistic.

Extended review available on Mina's Bookshelf

In this book, Adam Grant presents the idea of giving as a good strategy and way of life. He introduces us to three main "reciprocity styles:" those of givers, matchers, and takers, and he backs up his ideas with studies, stories, and examples of people who exemplify extremes of giving and taking. Ultimately he comes up with an intriguing balance of altruism and healthy pragmatism as the ideal reciprocity style.

I especially enjoyed the earlier chapters, in which he goes over the advantages of giving from every conceivable angle. The chapter titled "The Power of Powerless Communication" is particularly fascinating and full of surprising discoveries about human nature and interaction. There is so much to ponder, cherish, and appreciate here.

In the later chapters he introduces the concept of being "otherish" rather than selfless in order to keep things in balance and avoid burnout. "Being otherish means being willing to give more than you receive, but still keeping your own interests in sight, using them as a guide for choosing when, where, how. and to whom you give." While this all makes perfect sense, though it is possible that certain people might use some of these discoveries to become more calculating. The author does discuss this possibility in the last chapters of the book.

Overall, this a book with an uplifting and refreshing premise and a different take on ways that we relate to each other. Highly recommended to anyone who wants to understand and get along with other people, keep a balance between effort and relaxation at work, and feel good about contributing.

A lot of studies, research and anecdotes combine into not only an excellent read but a better way to look at life and work than just a daily repetition of tasks. Maybe not as many takers out there as you think but certainly a lot of selfless givers who end up burning out. Great choice for our book club at work.

In this digital age where "selfies" rule our actions in real time and online in cyberspace and the proverbial glass ceiling is alive and well in corporate settings and the startup arena, it is VERY refreshing as a thinking person and a professional in a Western culture, to read a book with a simple message: Giving in no way diminishes your success, but enhances it; your product/service, your persona, and ultimately your legacy. This message is long overdue in a world where collaboration can be viewed with suspicion, volunteering for non-profits is down, and the future of work hinges on what is TAKEN i.e. consumed. The sustainability and secret of giving is slowly revealed in this well written anthropological study of the human spirit trying to achieve Dr. Maslow's highest level in his hierarchy: self actualization. It involves the lifelong pursuit of transitioning from Me > We; a struggle we all engage in at various points in time. The struggle need not be so epic! Read this enlightening book and learn how to harness your inner giver, inner leader, and ultimately your humanity.

Penina Rybak MA/CCC-SLP, TSHH
Speech-Language Pathologist and Educational Technology Consultant
Founder/CEO Socially Speaking LLC
Author: "The NICE Reboot: How to Become a Better Female Entrepreneur-How to Balance Your Craving for Humanity & Technology in Today's Startup Culture"
Creator: The Socially Speaking(tm) App for iPad
Websites: sociallyspeakingLLC.com, niceinitiative.com
Facebook: Socially Speaking LLC
Google+, The NICE Initiative for Female Entrepreneurship, Socially Speaking LLC
YouTube: storytellergal, socialslp
Vimeo: Penina Rybak
Pinterest: Penina Rybak
Twitter: @PopGoesPenina

This is an excellent book. It is well written, and thought provoking. The authors talks about three types of people. There are takers, matchers, and givers. What is shocking is that givers are at the bottom and top of most areas in life. A giver can fail poorly, or in the long run become the most successful. There is little room for the middle ground with givers. So the author seems to provide a book to help the giver deal with life and situations successfully. The chapters are just interesting. Over and over again, there is sections that really make you think, as well as teach you a lot. One is the chapter on the Panda and the Peacock. One would be shocked to know that you can tell a lot about the size of the CEO's picture in the company handout. The chapter on the art of powerless communication is great. It teaches you how to persuade people, without being overbearing. The reality of this book is that all of the chapters are insightful and full of wisdom. Even if you are not a classic giver, you realize the need to be, and you develop some of the skills that a giver has. It is a great book for personal development, and just down right fun to read. One of the chapters even talks about not being a doormat for others. This is a serious problem for some givers, and is mostly the reason for those givers being at the top or bottom in regards to success. Check this book out, it is worth your read and time.

The book suggests a success approach that can be applied by individuals, teams, enterprises and communities. It shows that success is increasingly dependent on our behaviour and specifically on how we interact with others. The best-selling author highlights what effective social networking, collaboration, influence, negotiation and leadership skills have in common, and changes the way that people see the world. Obviously, the "help attracts help" strategy is mandatory here …

What a refreshing outlook. Full of current research to back it up, Adam Grant shows how and why nice guys can finish first. Food for thought, whether you are a "nice guy" or not. ;-) Moving past the old viewpoint of everyone doing what is best for themselves in the short term, and ignoring others and long-term consequences on everyone. Combines positive psychology and business, and couldn't business use a lot more positive psychology? Certainly things in business have been moving in that direction. This book is a great guide to follow.

To give you an overview of the book, I'll list the subsections in the chapters:
1 - Good Returns
2 - The Peacock and the Panda
Spotting the Taker in a Giver's Clothes
The Transparent Network
What Goes Around Comes Around
Waking the Sleeping Giants
Dormant Ties
The Five-Minute Favor
3 - The Ripple Effect
Collaboration and Creative Character
Flying Solo
I Wish I Could Hate You
Claiming the Lion's Share of the Credit
The Responsibility Bias
The Perspective Gap
4 - Finding the Diamond in the Rough
Star Search
Polishing the Diamond in the Rough
Throwing Good Money After Bad Talent
Facing the Mirror: Looking Good or Doing Good?
Glimpsing Glimmers in Chucks of Coal
5 - The Power of Powerless Communication
Presenting: The Value of Vulnerability
Selling: Separating the Swindlers from the Samaritans
Persuading: The Technique of Tentative Talk
6 - The Art of Motivation Maintenance
The Impact Vacuum: Givers Without a Cause
Otherish Choices: Chunking, Sprinkling, and the 100-Hour Rule of Volunteering
The Myth of Giver Burnout
7 - Chump Change
Sincerity Screening: Trusting Most of the People Most of the Time
Generous Tit for Tat: The Adaptable Giver
Assertiveness and the Advocacy Paradox
Pushing Past Pushover
8 - The Scrooge Shift
The Altruism Debate
From Enemies to Allies
The Search for Optimal Distinctiveness
Why Superman Backfires and People Conserve Electricity
The Reciprocity Ring
Identity Shifts and Reciprocity Reversals
9 - Out of the Shadows

Every business student and business person should read this. It would improve things for them, and for society as a whole. And check it out on audio, too!

I love this book! Author Adam Grant has hit a home run.

Grant presents three ubiquitous workplace approaches: takers, matchers, and givers. He argues that people who give the most first tend to succeed. This is in contrast to the traditional model of approaching one's career selfishly, "succeeding," and only then turning around to "give back."

This book is likely most valuable to individuals who have internalized a self-centered approach to the business of life. This would apparently include students at elite business schools such as Wharton, where Grant is a respected and popular professor.

Having written a book with a complementary message, 'Serve to Lead,' I've given a good bit of attention to the points examined in 'Give and Take.' Several aspects of Grant's approach may merit emphasis.

--'Give and Take' is largely concerned with making the case that giving can be of practical benefit to the giver as well as the receiver. It's less focused on the question of how to give most effectively. Readers' perspectives on the book may vary accordingly.

--21st century leadership is being transformed by social media, the Internet, and ubiquitous, involuntary transparency. This is fundamental to the practical imperative of serving others, of giving, of doing the right thing as being linked ever more closely to value creation. Self-interest is not advanced by selfishness, but by service. Perhaps because this book is less on the how of leadership, these issues do not receive sustained consideration.

In sum, this is a delightful, serviceable book. The author is engaging and sincere and credible and convincing. 'Give and Take' can be a valued corrective for anyone who distracted or disappointed by the drumbeat of self-centered activity rampant in contemporary life and work.

Really interesting take on "nice guys don't finish last" through comprehensive research on the benefit of being a "giver". Does a nice job of explaining the potential downsides of giving and how to avoid those pitfalls.

Adam Grant
Give and Take

Personally I am skeptical of most business books and approaches to workplace relationships. My approach to work environment is primarily aligned with xxx. I am particularly skeptical when individuals are classified into only three groups or personality types. But that is exactly what Grant proposes, quite successfully, with what he describes as givers, takers, and matchers. He finds that givers are gracious in the workplace, takers selfishly look out for themselves, and matchers are followers acting based on what others do. He notes that while givers are often taken advantaged of, but he also argues that there are equal number of givers who are the most highly successful individuals. He points out that givers take a long range approach, and are less inclined to base success on monetary or traditional measurements.

One of the interesting aspects of the book are the number of leadership examples that are provided. He presents numerous leaders and their style with Ken Lay of Enron as classic taker, and demonstrates that Lincoln was a giver by his cabinet of strong leaders. Lincoln had the ability to accept the strong opinions of others, and gather the best available advice to reach his very difficult decisions. Several Members of his cabinet were takers, but over time Lincoln won them over by listening and engaging his team.

This book was given to me as a gift to read. I suspect it was given to me because I am viewed as a giver. Leadership for me is about staff taking the initiative to innovate and introduce improvements. My approach is setting long term goals, coordinating efficiencies, and empowering staff to take the lead for enhancing individual and teamDoris services. I have been successful in leading several teams, and found that my staffs Adam Grant
Give and Take

Personally I am skeptical of most business books and approaches to workplace relationships. My approach to work environment is primarily aligned with xxx. I am particularly skeptical when individuals are classified into only three groups or personality types. But that is exactly what Grant proposes, quite successfully, with what he describes as givers, takers, and matchers. He finds that givers are gracious in the workplace, takers selfishly look out for themselves, and matchers are followers acting based on what others do. He notes that while givers are often taken advantaged of, but he also argues that there are equal number of givers who are the most highly successful individuals. He points out that givers take a long range approach, and are less inclined to base success on monetary or traditional measurements.

One of the interesting aspects of the book are the number of leadership examples that are provided. He presents numerous leaders and their style with Ken Lay of Enron as classic taker, and demonstrates that Lincoln was a giver by his cabinet of strong leaders. Lincoln had the ability to accept the strong opinions of others, and gather the best available advice to reach his very difficult decisions. Several Members of his cabinet were takers, but over time Lincoln won them over by listening and engaging his team.

This book was given to me as a gift to read. I suspect it was given to me because I am viewed as a giver. Leadership for me is about staff taking the initiative to innovate and introduce improvements. My approach is setting long term goals, coordinating efficiencies, and empowering staff to take the lead for enhancing individual and teamDoris services. I have been successful in leading several teams, and found that my staffs generally take initiative when trusted and set short term goals. I suppose this makes me a giver when I always thought I was simply empowering staff and applying process improvement.

Grant issues a level of optimism that takers and matchers can learn from givers and employ giver tactics. While organizations can and do change, I personally do not believe individuals change who they are. Interesting ideas and concepts backed up with plenty of evidence. This book is about identifying a personnel management approach that is highly successful when employed under the right tutelage. What this book does not provide is how to employ giver strategies or techniques. take initiative when trusted and set short term goals. I suppose this makes me a giver when I always thought I was simply empowering staff and applying process improvement.

Grant issues a level of optimism that takers and matchers can learn from givers and employ giver tactics. While organizations can and do change, I personally do not believe individuals change who they are. Interesting ideas and concepts backed up with plenty of evidence. This book is about identifying a personnel management approach that is highly successful when employed under the right tutelage. What this book does not provide is how to employ giver strategies or techniques.

Skip the book and watch Adam Grant’s TED talk on this subject. When we give freely without worrying about reciprocation, we see the greatest results. This book does not divulge any new information that the was not mentioned in his talk. I found it to be pretty boring and many of the chapters dragged on for far too long.

Give and Take was a very connective book that explained why being less self centered in not only business but everyday life was so important. Adam Grant the author made it clear that he believed out of the three types of people, givers, takers, and matchers, that givers were overall the most successful. He even gave several examples of people in the business world that eventually were very successful due to being connecting and giving towards others in everyday life. I would recommend this book to anyone not just business professionals but adults trying to better themselves and their relationships with people on an everyday basis. This is a must read!

In relationships, there are three types of people: givers, takers, and matchers. Givers believe in giving to a relationship. They ask what more they can give to a relationship and not what can they receive. Takers, conversely, exploit people and ask how focus on how they can benefit from a relationship. Finally, matchers keep score and strive to give as much as they receive.

Mark Twain remarked “The principle of give and take; that is diplomacy--give one and take ten.” (1) After admitting that the people who are walked over most in business are givers, Grant explains that the most successful people are also givers. The difference between the two people, Grant explains, is how they give.

There are two types of givers: selfless givers and otherish givers. Grant writes, “Selfish givers are people with high other-interest and low self-interest.” (157) He continues, “They give their time and energy without regard for their own needs, and they pay a price for it.... it is a form of pathological altruism, which is defined by researcher Barbara Oakley as “an unhealthy focus on others to the detriment of one’s own needs,” such that in the process of trying to help others, givers end up harming themselves. (157) These types of givers find themselves at the bottom of the business world.

Successful givers, contrastingly, “...care about benefiting others, but they also have ambitious goals for advancing their own interests.” (157) “Being otherish means being willing to give more than you receive, but still keeping your own interests in sight, using them as a guide for choosing when, where, how, and to whom you give.” For example, Adam Rifkin, a software developer, was voted the number one networker in the world. Adam lived by the five minute rule: : if a favor takes fewer than five minutes then do it. (54) While Adam is a tremendous giver, he always kept his own personal goals, as a software developer and entrepreneur, in mind.

Being a giver is not always easy. Grant warns that givers are more trusting and believe in people more often. This leads to more opportunities for people to disappoint them. “[matchers] often wait to offer support until they’ve seen evidence of promise. Consequently, they miss out on opportunities to develop people who don’t show a spark of talent or high potential at first.” (101) Takers, well... they are just not worth discussing.

Grant’s book is inspiring citing the development of countless other people who have succeeded as givers and companies or ideas such as freecycle that have developed with a philosophy of giving as its core.

Give and Take by Wharton professor Adam Grant is must reading for anyone who wants to understand how to relate to people. Grant divides relationships into three categories: givers, who give to others without expecting something in return; takers, who focus on getting from others without necessarily giving anything back; and matchers, people who seek to get something in return when they give. Professor Grant begins by asking who benefits the LEAST from such relationships and his answer is the givers. Then he asks who benefits the MOST and again his answer is the giver. The key is that , while in the short run a giver may lose out, in the long run he or she will be more successful. Grant goes on to give a number of examples of famous and not so famous people. He focuses to a large extent on persons in the Silicon Valley area of California. He also makes clear how you can tell if someone is a giver, a taker, or a matcher.

I found the book to be a valuable insight into why positive behaviors work out for the best. Many people may also find specific persons who can help them as the book lists a number of such persons and websites. Thus while most of the discussion concerns professional persons the book can be beneficial for anyone in any situation.

Adam Grant’s highly readable book is, in itself, a gift. This well-researched, upbeat, and eminently wise resource encourages the reader to carefully consider the acts of giving and taking—and how they can powerfully affect our success. Grant’s reasoning is sharp and totally on point. By presenting engaging stories coupled with social science research, he helps his readers to understand their own patterns, and also outlines how they can give without opening themselves to exploitation. Very nicely done!

I originally found 'Give and Take' on the Financial Times long list of business book of the year for 2013. Since then, it didn't make the short list, but I assumed it would be a strong candidate given the topic.

Adam Grant divides people into three categories -- takers, matchers, or givers. He goes into detailed stories of each type of person, and how to spot each. Takers like to take more than they give, matchers like to give as much as they take, and givers give more than they take. Most people tend to be matchers. This makes sense- we grow up learning that if someone helps you, you should help them back. And although giving seems to have the best correlation to success, most people have negative stereotypes about givers, such as "nice guys finish last" and being nicknamed "doormats." Where do those concepts come from?

Well, givers are typically the most and least successful people. Givers that give too much end up burning out, and sink to the bottom of their schools, companies, and organizations. Givers that ask for help in return, and take a stance, usually get great rewards, and rise to the top with little effort. The magic number for giving seems to be 100 hours per year. The '100 hour rule' has been identified in numerous studies as the optimal amount of time to give per year for the best results.

While the books has a positive message, it could have been easily summed up in a piece for the Wall Street Journal or a magazine. It's like reading a Malcolm Gladwell book where you understand everything in Chapter 1, and uses good writing to keep you hooked until the end. Grant mentions so many studies it gets boring. Great message, but shorter book next time.

In GIVE AND TAKE, Adam Grant, a Wharton business school professor, has written an interesting study into the world of givers, matchers, and takers.

And we all know what he is talking about. We meet people, in business and in our personal lives, who fit into one of these three categories. And while the takers may enjoy a brief advantage, in the long run something more powerful than karma awaits them...failure.

Whether he is examining the world of academia, politics, investing, sports, Grant gives us tangible examples of the difference between the world views of those who give and those who take.

The real power is in powerless communication. While polished, assertive, strong monologues may seem to carry the day, it is the slightly hesitant, hedged speech that wins out. Powerless communication can be in the form of questions or disclaimers. Particularly interesting is the power of "intention questions" and how they actually move people to action. Asking for advice "has four benefits: learning, perspective taking, commitment, and flattery."

The giver must caution against becoming a doormat, or burning out, the latter a common malady among teachers.

While we seek common ground in our relationships, we do so while desperately wishing to be "uncommonly common."

The most practical chapter is the last, "Actions for Impact." The chapter directs the reader to websites to apply lessons learned. For example, if you want to create a Reciprocity Ring (a powerful tool that brings group dynamics and connections into play to help others achieve goals), Grant directs you to the appropriate resource.

The reader will be introduced to a number of interesting websites, concepts, and psychological studies. I have since joined Freecycle, and have already given away an old, but still functioning, computer to someone whose own computer was stolen.

The 5-minute mentoring, clues on how Enron and Ken Lay were heading to disaster years ahead of the ultimate collapse, the idea of "selfish" and "otherish", the surprising taker mentality of Michael Jordan, Jonas Salk, and Frank Lloyd Wright all feature in this highly entertaining and practical book.

Adam Grant has perhaps given us the best gift of all...his exhaustive research.

People can be divided into three different categories - givers, takers and matchers. I think we have all known about givers and takers, but matchers was a new term/concept for me. A matcher is one that "keeps score" making sure that their reciprocity is matched on a tit for tat basis.

So the question is which style is most successful. While we tend to think that takers are more successful, the studies show something very interesting. Over a long term, certain groups of givers achieve greater levels of success than takers. But not all givers - certain givers rank near the bottom on any measure of success.

Adam Grant, the author, has written a very interesting and highly insightful book that looks into the differences between givers, takers and matchers. In his book, he explores what makes certain givers more successful. He also goes into great detail about why certain givers experience burn out and why they fail to enjoy the success that other givers achieve.

Mr. Grant is a professor at the Wharton School of Business. There seems to be a growing trend among professors - that of writing highly engaging books which appeal to the mass audience. Mr. Grant certainly fits right in this trend. The book is well written in a very conversational style. It is filled with numerous stories based on psychological studies. There are also many real life examples of givers/takers and matchers in action. You will gain a very good appreciation of the benefits and pitfalls of being a giver, taker or matcher. Actually you will learn how to adjust your behavior so as to maximize your success.

This book will give you a new perspective on how to achieve success. If you are running into roadblocks, you will very likely find your behavior patterns talked about in this book and you will find some very specific tips and techniques on ways to alter your giver/taker/matcher behavior to achieve the success you are seeking.

The final chapter is "Actions for Impact" - ten specific things you can do to implement the concepts discussed in the book. In this section Mr. Grant gives lots of online resources that are available to aid you in your journey.

The book also has an extensive reference section that provides additional resources for those interested in further study.

Highly entertaining and very insightful. You will gain some very specific actionable knowledge that will help you achieve your goals.

This topic simply doesn't lend itself toward an exciting read but I'm very pleased I stayed with it as I gained/verified much insight on the behavior I've observed in people over the years. I think the book would be most appreciated by those who are old enough and have interfaced considerably with other people during those years...regardless of what profession they were in.

I have admired Dr. Adam Grant's work for some time and was very aware of his groundbreaking work in the area of introverted leadership( ex. introverted leaders make better leaders of proactive employees). Several of the concepts in this intriguing book, especially the idea of "powerless communication" (an oxymoron, right?) align with that of introverted leadership. Listening and not making it all about oneself is a hallmark of quiet influencers.

One case illustrates the author's refreshing style. By recognizing "the elephant in a room" of seasoned Air Force colonels he took them by surprise ("I know some of you are thinking right now: What can I learn from a professor who is twelve years old?") and won over a skeptical audience.
Grant's summaries and case examples are clear and the research is used to make key points, not to fill pages. I also like the three concepts of Givers, Takers and Makers. A useful model for tracking the patterns of our own behavior and that of our colleagues. You will learn from this new take on reciprocity. I highly recommend it!

The idea behind this book is a noble one. If we could get more people to "give" and not "take" the world would be a better place. The what's in it for me mentality is what is wrong with the world. Unfortunately it seems to be growing.

I enjoyed it so much I am going to copy an excerpt to share with colleagues at work. Hopefully we can make some changes.

There are a lot of books about being a better person, but many fail to address practical issues like not being a doormat. This book provides an excellent balance based on interesting research. At times, I wanted less stories and more analysis from the author, but this book is generally quite good and well worth reading.

Grant does a remarkable job of analyzing what kind of workplace reciprocity styles exist and why. As the book progresses, you come to learn and understand why each style evokes the certain reactions from people that it does. Personal motives are unveiled and the effectiveness of these motives is thrown out into the open to be evaluated on the underlying reasons why they do and do not work. Grant uses relevant and real-life examples to advance explain his points. Not only does he use real people as examples, he follows their careers all the way through to further illustrate that the person’s reciprocity style cannot be faked. The fakers always crack and the grit-driven givers finish on top. Give and Take is a book that will remain germane through all time.

Everyone should read this book. It shows you how to be successful in your career, have an enjoyable life and make the world a better place all at the same time! What could be wrong with that?

The book basically argues that giving is (mostly) a better strategy for achieving success than taking and gives you science to back it up and practical tips of when and how to do it. It is written in a very readable style and the whole argument is so compelling it is a wonder that the idea seems so radical in the modern business environment.

Adam Grant is apparently one of the best business school's best professors (and so young too!) so I have to bet that the framework in this book is an over-simplification of research that I am not privy to because I didn't hunt down the notes.

The framework is this: there are three kinds of people in this world. You have givers, matchers, and takers. You see that the matchers are more transactional in their work environment, takers will just walk all over you, and givers are free with their time and expertise. The counter-intuitive turn here is looking at the amount of success each group attains. Matchers and takers populate the middle, but you find givers at the least successful end being walked all over. You also find the giver at the successful end, where they have gathered so much goodwill and a vast social network because they give so much. It's like a secular prosperity gospel.

The rest of the book is padded out with anecdotes about some of these successful givers. We see their paths and then want to emulate them. I think I had higher expectations, because the thing feels padded to me, and the book is only 250 pages with average spacing. The evidence of the successful giver is anecdotal, and I felt that there was never a systematic look at how to be the right kind of giver, who falls on the positive end of the distribution. There's some advice, but it feels general to me be adaptable (195); don't fall into a pattern of selfless giving (172); volunteer for unpopular tasks and offer feedback (75).

I didn't mark it, but I got the sense in one passage that you had to give because you wanted to give and thus create this positive karma that would come back to you like some of the people he highlights in the book. If you gave because you wanted to create that karma, you become a matcher and thus not available to the karma. It struck me as a paradox, because a natural giver wouldn't even be reading this book to try to be a giver. This book seems to be for matchers or takers in Grant's paradigm, who want to be better by being proactive about being a giver. It reinforces the potential giver into a functional matcher. Maybe I'm wrong.

One final thing that I felt was unaddressed was a person's ability to change. In the book, I felt that once you are identified by one of the three categories, you are there forever. Oddly, there is a website set up that seemed to imply that change across categories was possible, something I wanted to see in the book. The site had a quiz to identify what group you belonged in. I had read the book, and each question had only three possible answers so the "right" answer was obvious. I answered as truthfully as possible, and was labeled a matcher. I think I knew this by the first chapter. Perhaps that's why I was hostile to the title. What I liked though was that the quiz allowed nuance. I am a majority matcher with taker tendencies. I also have giver elements. For example, I often write uncompensated reviews for books.

As a professional, I cannot say enough about how much I love this book. It is a permanent fixture on my desk and work and I routinely order multiple copies to have and give away at work. I am using the principles in the book in the mentoring program I putting together at work. One of the best business leadership books I have ever read.

"Give and Take" - a Review
There are far too many useful business and nonfiction books are the market for any one person to read. But Give and Take - A Revolutionary Approach to Success by Adam Grant (Viking) is one I believe is well worth the time. Grant has looked at empirical evidence from many sources and discovered a novel idea: Givers can become wildly successful.

Unlike some books about success, this one is not full of hyperbole. And unlike some business books by professors -- Grant is a management professor at Wharton,-- this one does not drone on. In fact, Grant builds his case in an intriguing way, drawing the reader in with stories, surprising the reader with unusual outcomes, then explaining the paradoxical theory and supporting it with academic research. I wanted to keep reading to find out how Grant would turn each story on its head.

Give and Take really opened my eyes and got me looking at situations from a new perspective. The more I read the book, the more I recognized types of people I know and started to appreciate the Givers in my life even more. I also saw more opportunities to be helpful to others at random times. Now, I'm inspired to figure out how to start a Reciprocity Ring at my church. (Read the book to find out what a Reciprocity Ring is.)

The author does not just dwell on business and management. He uses examples from sports, education, grassroots dot-coms like Freecycle and Craigslist, finance, health care, and nonprofits, and he introduces several really fascinating concepts:

1. There are three types of people: Takers, Matchers, and Givers. Within those groups are subgroups. The Givers can wind up on the bottom, never getting ahead, or they can succeed so much that they wind up at the top.
2. Givers who get ahead build loyalty and high-quality teams. Takers can be so self-centered that they drive support away.
3. Givers can help others to realize their full potential.
4. Givers who succeed use time wisely and do ask for help occasionally. Grant calls this being Otherish.
5. Givers who fail don't use their giving time wisely and never ask for help for themselves.
5. There's a myth about Giver burnout.
6. Takers can be generous.

But wait, there's more! Give and Take is worth reading simply to discover how Grant came to all these conclusions and to figure out how you can be more of a giver.

Full disclosure, I read this book for many selfish reasons:
1. I went to Wharton, and Grant teaches at Wharton (a little alumna loyalty).
2. I'm co-writing a business book and want to read other business books to see what will hold my interest and how principles can evolve out of anecdote. I wanted to analyze what made me like(or not like) the writing. (I really liked Grant's writing. Why?)
3. I am on a nonprofit board for At Home in Darien, a nonprofit that helps seniors staying their homes. But seniors don't call us for help, transportation or handyman services. Why? They're all Givers. How can we get them to be Takers? (Adam Grant, if you read this review, please take on this question for further research.)
4. I've been on the pledge and the finance committees at my church, and I have often wondered why some people in the congregation give generously, while other don't. What's going on in their minds? How could we change the non-givers into Givers? I was searching for an answer.

Not all of my questions were answered. But I came away from Give and Take with enlightenment and inspiration. The book was a complete pleasure to read, even on beautiful summer afternoons.