52 Lessons You Should Have Learned in School. - Fucking History

Look at the title of this book (really just a little booklet). the store rejected my first review because I used bad language (even though I didn't spell anything out, but used symbols for the vowels of variants of the word in the title and common earthy terms for excrement, women's breasts, etc.). Pretty hypocritical, I'd say. They can sell junk with "bad words," but I can't even allude to the words obliquely in a review.

The booklet is filled with so-called bad words, which really didn't offend me at all. I just didn't find any of the short anecdotes very amusing - with or without the words you can't use in an the store review. It reminded me of the boys' bathroom wall in a junior high school. Now that I'm older than 12, a "dirty word" in every other sentence just isn't enough. But apparently almost everyone else found it hilarious.

If you haven’t read this book, what are you even doing with your life? To say this collection of unpredictable short history lessons are entertaining is a vast understatement. The Captain perfectly pieces together the pop culture of today with unique history essays laced with wit, sarcastic humor, and cursing that is both relatable and savagely honest. The incredibly smart, crude brain behind the pages will leave you dying with laughter while your mind is blown by how seriously weird humans were… are. Not to mention, the infamous Ashley appearances only adds to the perfection of this book, and also slightly reminds me of the recurring O’doyle family plaguing Adam Sandler movies.

Do yourself a favor and order this book NOW! Whether you’re a history buff or are completely turned off by the past, you will enjoy every word of each raw yet refined take on the days of old with a modern twist. So, pour yourself a glass of the poison of your choice, crack the pages of this book, and learn some F***ing History.

P.S.

While you wait for your order to arrive, go follow The Captain on Instagram and Twitter. You can thank me later.

I purchased a personalized copy of Fucking History directly through the author, The Captain. First of all I must say he is VERY responsive to his fans which in itself is amazing. I was floored that he responded at all to my inquiry, let alone that he was prompt replying. I've read this book many times over since its arrival in April 2017, it still amuses me and can make even my rough days enjoyable. History is a subject I was NOT fond of at all. Often times you could catch me dozing off in my required World History course during college, which was perhaps a result of the unfortunate time slot it fell in, but it failed miserably to keep my attention. Nonetheless this book has kept me engaged and eager to learn more about the content of its pages. If you are of... let's call them, "delicate sensibilities" and are easily offended then this book is most assuredly NOT for you. Those that have a stronger constitution, speak fluent sarcasm, and can handle the majority of what's thrown at them will be enraptured by what The Captain is throwing down. Worth every penny spent.

Brilliant and funny! I follow The Captain on Instagram/Twitter, and am always delighted to see a new post pop up from him, so I requested this book for Christmas, and I'm thrilled to report that it is 5 stars! His witty repartee is delightful, and keeps your attention. The book is sectioned off into lessons, and each one starts out with a common place issue in today's world, and how to deal with it utilizing a historical reference. I guarantee you have not heard of these events, and if you have, The Captain sheds an entirely new light on them. Whether you are the biggest history buff, or despise antiquity entirely, you are going to love this book. Sage advice, buy a copy, if for nothing else, new banter at dinner parties.

(Did anyone else try to use the book title in their review and get denied by the store?)

The perfect book! My sister got me this book last year for Christmas so this year I got her the same, only I got her a signed copy from the Captain. When I submitted a request for a signed book I forgot to include which one like a dumdum. But the Captain, being the amazing person he is, sent me two signed books for the price of one. The captions in the books were as hilarious as expected. As for this book, I've read it a million times, seriously funny and a good mix of actual history. I follow the Captain on IG and can't wait for the Sunday School lesson (more history lessons). Couldn't recommend reading the Captain enough!!

Buy this book. Buy one for yourself, buy one for a friend and definitely buy one for your mom. She'll love it.
This book is 112 pages chock full of fun, interesting and sometimes slightly macabre little known nuggets of history. It's written in The Captain's often imitated but never duplicated style.
If you follow The Captain on social media or have read his previous book Feel Free To Quote Me, you know his style...sarcastic, witty, funny with a little heart (and a lot of F bombs) thrown in from time to time. What's not to love? He seems to be a genuine dude and I respect that a lot. He didn't sell out to sell more books....This book isn't carried anywhere but the store. I'm sure if it were titled differently it would be.
Read this book. Learn something. You'll delight and amaze your friends and family with your newfound knowledge. You'll be a hit at parties. You'll get cool points for having this book in your library....extra cool points if it's on your coffee table or nightstand. Just remember to thank The Captain.

I gotta give it to The Captain: He's one hell of an educator. Reading what he writes is true enjoyment, which is something I never thought I'd find when it comes to history. I recommend curling up with a beer when taking in this book. Quick, easy, and definitely something that doesn't get harder to read after a few beverages.

Each historical event is about 1 1/2 pages. The “history” is superficial and sometimes isn’t even history but rather gossip. I found most of the moral lessons to be fatuous. The author’s frequent use of foul language is obviously titillating to a lot of readers but I found it childish.

And open this book because it's F¥€King amazeballs. You're absolutely right random the store shopper, you don't know me, so why take my word for it? Well....I've been told on occasion that I can be hard to please with my high expectations and The Captains F-ing History book definitely exceeded them. I can say all of the same comments as everyone else on the reviews below or above me because they're all true but what I didn't expect is that I would turn off my tv and silence my phone to keep turning the pages. So, thank you Captain for getting me to unplug, for the silence, the lessons, the laughter and for exceeding my expectations. Ok, don't take my advice of getting off your phone because you need it to buy this book on your the store app.

I’ve been following The Captain for years and received his books for Christmas. I always loved reading his “Sunday School” history posts (not going to lie, I’ve looked up a few to see if they were real and all of them were) and now have more to enjoy! Definitely entertaining and interesting content where I’ll have random things to tell friends and family.

It's refreshing to read something not only interesting and educational but also entertaining and hilarious! (The added life lessons are helpful, as well)
If they taught college history classes with this as a reading requirement, I think enrollment would skyrocket!
Seriously, get this book. It's delightful! But, not for the faint of heart - 10 pages in there's ass play. Not that that's a bad thing, but if you get offended easily, you may want a different book.

Another great book of brutal honesty, wit, sarcasm, and good laughs from The Captain! He rips the band-aid off every wound and doesn't care if some skin or hair comes with it! Keep writing Captain! We love it!

First of all, considered one of the top people I would love to have a drink with (or 8 drinks), this book combines history and direct to the point humor. From reading about how leaving things behind is ancient dating strategy that went back to Ancient Greece to how many pets is too many, this book is full of facts, that keep you reading! Keep up the good work Captain!

You may be too far gone in 2017- but at least in 2018 you will learn something new: like you’re not the only passenger in the hot mess express.
Purchased for my best friend (who also religiously follows The Captain) who initially thought she was drunk ordered this item - opened early & didn’t thank me until a day later. Worth every penny.

Just sit back and enjoy how funny this guy can be. Its almost like he's sitting next to you at a bar telling you these fun history lessons. He's pretty straight forward lol He's also a genuine guy who takes the time to connect with his fans and followers. Thank you Captain!

Everyone should have this book... it is the perfect blend of humor and knowledge with a side of self help. The lessons become like devotionals and leave you feeling energized about life.
Add it to your collection. Add it to your friend’s collection!

I don't think I can put into words what a brilliant writer and story teller, The Captain is, but I'll try....
This book is a mixture of humor, interesting history & will most importantly, bring a chuckle, laugh and smile to your face! Learning about history has never been so entertaining!!! I purchased 4 of these books and can't wait to give them as Christmas gifts!!!

This book exceeds my expectations. I purchased it because the author, The Captain, has a sick, sardonic, cruel sense of humor; like myself. It's inspirational, it's witty, it has interesting non fictional history. WHAT ELSE COULD YOU WANT!

Great book, funny, witty, and you might learn a thing or two about history! Get it for yourself, buy one as a gift, use it to tell clever stories and be a smart ass, just buy it! You'll be glad you did :-)

I Love this guy! I'm signed up to hit newsletter (hilarious) and own his first book of quotes so I had to get this short collection of essays. I'm reading it at about a story per week to make it last and so far its as funny as you'd expect. Follow him on Twitter & Instagram for regular laughs.

A charming collection of stories featuring select foibles and human history. The title is abrupt, but the lessons are gentle-- fascinating droplets of the past that could possibly shape a better future. We're a weird species-- then and now-- and this book is all about embracing it with the goal of living better.

Each historical event is about 1 1/2 pages. The “history” is superficial and sometimes isn’t even history but rather gossip. I found most of the moral lessons to be fatuous. The author’s frequent use of foul language is obviously titillating to a lot of readers but I found it childish.