Allegedly

If you're okay with a severely disappointing ending, go ahead and check out Allegedly.
A good story with a lot of wasted potential. (Spoilers)

This book had a lot of potential, rich with complex relationships that mimic the darker side of reality. As you read, you become more and more sympathetic for Mary and the constant line of struggles she suffers trying to keep her baby. Eventually you begin to wonder where her break is as her court case against her mother takes off, but she loses boyfriend Ted and gets beaten by her juvenile roommates. Her one friend in the boarding house quite suddenly turns out to be crazy and evil, with little to no indication or foreshadowing of the fact. The end is much like this, tossing aside all of the buildup of stories about the abuse from Mary's mother to say that Mary lied the entire time to get away from her mother and replace deceased baby Alyssa in the Richardson family. Again there was little to no indication through out the book to this ending, so much so that it seemed to go entirely against the book. She went from a resolution that had her being sympathetic to her mom even though she had been used and betrayed, trying to drop the case as she realized her mother would die in the system, to suddenly being morbidly happy that her mom could go to jail and she was free from her with Mrs. Richardson as her new mom. Her tone also does a complete 180, taking on a random childish voice that we never saw in the first 17 chapters. This book could have been amazing, but seriously flopped at the ending with a cheap twist. Very disappointed.

Fifteen-year-old Mary lives in a group home following her release from "baby jail" where she resided since the age of nine. She killed a white baby. Allegedly. Now she's pregnant, in love and hoping to keep her child. But first, she must tell the truth about what really happened.

Tiffany D Jackson interspersed articles, book excerpts and police interviews with Mary's heartbreaking narration. ALLEGEDLY made me sad and mad and hopeful, often at the same time. Jackson did a spectacular job balancing Mary's innocence and street-wise survival skills. At the core, the teenager just wanted to be loved. No one could blame her for beings mistrustful. Every adult in her life had let her down. The teachers who recognized her brilliance and thought something wasn't right at home never followed through. The police allowed her mother, the only other person with baby Alyssa when she was beaten to death, to make legal decisions for Mary, an obvious conflict of interest. Therapists and social workers who never visited lied. But how much could I take the reliability of the narration at face value? Was there more to Mary as those who wrote about the murder surmised? Was she evil?

The plot essentially revolves around Mary's pregnancy and her quest to keep her baby. She thinks she loves the father and wants to go to college. In order to achieve those goals, she'll have to finally tell the truth. With the help of a pro bono lawyer, she just might have a chance.

ALLEGEDLY is a dark story without a lot of bright spots. It should be, given the topic. Jackson touches so many issues, never cramming them down the throats of readers. The broken juvenile justice system, overworked and under supervised social workers, mental illness are a few of the more important. Despite the bleak plot, I enjoyed reading Mary's tale. Toward the end, I dreaded finishing, hoping for a happy, yet realistic conclusion.

**I do want to warn readers about an abused/murdered cat. I normally rate down for animal abuse, but Jackson wasn't gratuitously descriptive, so I didn't.**

I can't wait to see what Jackson writes next. I would read a sequel to ALLEGEDLY in a minute.

Very good book, pretty much read it straight through - and I haven't done that for awhile. Story has some good twists, along with highlighting the deplorable system we have for our young children that are locked up.

A gut-wrenching debut. This is a story about what happens when the whole world is against you, and you have a new reason to find your own voice. You take a stand, and prove to them you're more than they think they know about you.

Mary B. Addison's story is an emotionally jarring read, and one that leaves you rooting for the girl who by the world standards, doesn't stand a chance. Jackson's powerful debut proves that this one girl is more than a stereotype. She's more than what people have said about her. More than what a system has ridden her off to be, and more than someone who should have been there for, thought she was. When the world has been against Mary, she's got nothing left to do, but fight back.

This is the second emotionally jarring book I've read this week. Not only do I usually try and limit myself with reads like this, like really limit myself. I have a hard time emotionally detaching from stories like this. There was something about Mary that I wanted to know more about. Like the very few people who have been on her side through her young teen life, I believed there was much more to her story than the reports were saying. I liked that Jackson used prior articles, interviews, and reports and infused those into the book to help tell Mary's story. It paints a back story, as well as leads up to the shocking conclusion of Mary's choice.

Mary's story is vital in a world that needs more diversity. Diversity not just with it's characters, but also with it's realistic settings that portray the harsh realities that exist within our world. Jackson doesn't sugar coat a broken system, flawed protection, and the harsh realities of what girls in Mary's situation face, and deal with. For all the wrong in this story, there is resilience, hope, endurance, courage, and a character who fights back in her own way, and doesn't give up, no matter the cost. This book is gritty, realistic, and lends a new voice in the YA world that will open your eyes to a part of our real world we don't often see in YA.

This book does contain language, abuse, sexual content, and sensitive scenes that may not be suitable for younger YA readers.

Actual rating: 4,5

Only few books can shake me. Allegedly is one of them.

After I finished this compelling novel, I needed some time to process everything that was going on in the book, as well as calm myself so I could understand my feelings.

Reading this, you probably think I’m exaggerating.
If I was you, I’d probably think the same.
But I am telling the truth. Sometimes we don’t know how we’re going to react to a certain book, and sometimes our reactions can surprise us.

Going into this story, I knew it would be difficult for me. I was even aware how disturbing it was.
You probably hear about Allegedly, as one of novels written in own voices, one that was praised in “reading diversity” movement (if that’s a movement, I’m not 100% sure), the book that is important to read.

First of all, I agree with the statement how it is important for this book to be read, and for author’s voice to be heard.
This is one hugely important, disturbing book that represents not only people of color, but minority that we don’t get to read often about – teenagers in group home.

Honestly, I am afraid how I’m going to sound when I say this, but I will say it anyway: this novel reminded me how happy my life is. When I reflect and compare it to lives like ones I read about in this novel, to teenagers who yes, committed crimes during their lives, but are still alive and have to live with invisible “Scarlet letter” that follows them every where they go, without support of their families, in poverty and with someone else deciding about everything in their life, I understand how privileged I actually am.
And once again, I used the word I am really not a fan of, but there is no other word to say it better.

The story is told in first person, following Mary’s POV.
Beside Mary’s narration (and I have to state that Mary is one of the best narrators I had a pleasure to read about), there are bunch of newspaper articles, police interviews, excerpts from doctor’s papers and other similar stuff.

Reading Allegedly was thought provoking and emotional experience.
It definitely wasn’t easy.
Some scenes were violent and disturbing, some were harder to understand, some were extremely sad, but what hit me the most was how everyone underestimated Mary all the time.

I rooted for her, even though she never stated if she did it, if she killed the baby. She said she did, allegedly.
But yet, you as a reader don’t believe she would do such a thing. She does not seem like that kind of person.

The writing style is amazing, and I simply can not believe this is a debut novel.

One more thing I’d like to emphasize is the role of the State (here I mean criminal justice system and state foster care).
Mary’s (and other girls’) destiny depended so much on those two, that it feels like the State has it’s own personality.

There is one more thing we need to discuss: the last chapter.
I tried and tried to decide whether I like how this story ended.
At fist I was shocked, but resolved that I liked it.
Now, after some thinking, I wish the story ended differently.
Why?
Because, even though I understand why the writer chose to end the story the way she did, I can’t help but feel that some messages delivered through the story were (partly) erased with that conclusion.

To say that this book shocked me is an understatement. When I finished reading the book, I had to reread that ending a few times to make sure I fully comprehended what just happened. It took me a while to fully grasp the ramifications and be able to come to terms with it. The story got into my head, and really bothered me in ways I cannot describe.

In short, the story is about Mary B. Addison, a young black girl who was convicted of ‘allegedly’ killing a 3 month old white baby at 9 years of age, while she was babysitting with her mother one evening. Throughout all the trials, Mary never said a word to defend herself, she took the punishment, neither denying nor confirming the accusations, while her mother was let go.

The media had a field day with the story, raising hell about a black girl killing a white baby, and demanding retribution, regardless of her age. At present, Mary is 15 or 16 and is still required to stay at a juvenile home for troubled youth until the age of 19. The entire story is told from her perspective, and as the story progresses, we slowly begin to peel back the layers of her personality as we get to know her more and more intimately. We sympathize with her situation, we trust her and we feel what she feels, injustice, unfairness, fear, frustration, determination and love…so much love for her unborn baby. When she finds out that she is pregnant, Mary decides to do all that is in her power to keep her baby, and that means finally speaking out about what really happened that night and who was responsible for the death of the child. She tries to get a proper education, studying for her SATs so she can get into college, struggling to make a better life for herself and her baby, but is constantly being pushed back. We get a very intimate look at life in a juvenile home, the brutality experienced, the monstrosity of some of the people who end up there and the peers that are assigned to look after them.

I could feel Mary’s struggle and frustration. Her mother’s calm and religious persona, which was hypocritical and made me want to gouge her eyes out, was incredibly infuriating. I wanted to strangle her once the whole story is finally revealed and we find out exactly what occurred that dark night. I genuinely rooted for Mary and wanted to see her story shared and the case reopened for trial. I wanted to see her win, I wanted justice served and I wanted her to be able to keep her baby. Mary’s voice is strong, she reels you in and keeps you hanging on to her every word. You trust her. You believe her. You cheer her on.

The twist at the end was so unpredictable, I never saw it coming, and it seems from the reviews I’ve read that no one else has. That is what made me give the book a 5 star rating, because despite the fact that I felt certain parts of it dragged and despite the fact that I was ready to give up on it, it completely managed to shake me and leave a huge impact on me. There aren’t many books I can say that about.

I was honestly appalled at how graphically violent this book was. It made me very uncomfortable reading some parts, while I had to skim through other parts, especially concerning the details of the baby’s injuries. It made me want to cry and gag and just set down the book and never pick it up again. It was a difficult read. It was really challenging getting through it, and at the end, my head ached, my brain ached and my whole body ached. I did not realize how tightly wound I was until I had finished the book, let me shoulders down and felt my muscles creak with exhaustion.

This book took it out of me, so a word of caution: tread carefully, because the content is very mature and unpleasant, but the ending – for me – was worth the trouble.

I will listen to anything narrated by Bahni Turpin, she is one of the best audiobook narrators. Period. So, happiest of reading experiences to me to have an excellent crime book narrated by a top-fave of mine. The book follows Mary, now in a group home, after being in jail as a child for having murdered a baby her mother was babysitting. The thing is, Mary has refused to discuss the events of the night since before her trial and even during her sentence. We follow her now as a teenager who is trying to survive living in a group home and figuring out how to one day have a life when you’re labeled the baby killer and the system isn’t really setup for any kind of rehabilitation. Except things once again change quickly for Mary, and now she’s forced to defend herself and her pregnancy and she just may be ready to finally say what happened that night… If like me you hadn’t gotten around to this one yet, change that immediately!–Not to tell you what to do or anything but it’s a really good book that had me thinking about Mary whenever I wasn’t listening to it.

Allegedly is a thrilling heart wrenching roller coaster with an unexpected ending.

→Trigger Warning: Violence, Rape, Ablism, Pet Murder, Child Abuse,
→ Fatphobic
→Homophobic statements from characters
→ Love Ms Claire and Ms Cora
→That part about the mirrors killed me.
→Unreliable narrator
→A lot of the bible, Christian god talk, and devil inside type stuff.
→Abortion doesn't mean baby-killer!!!
→I love the Law & Order: SVU fangirling, especially about Benson. I've felt that exact same thing about her and that show. It was cathartic in a way, watching it growing up.

I was so engrossed to this book allllllllll they way through. Nothing bad to say, no problems with it, full on heart eyes emoji. The narrator was fantastic. Then that last damned chapter. Part of me loves it and is still thinking about it, part of me hates it for the shock, the undoing, and is still thinking about it.

The only thing I can really say, either way, you'll never forget Mary B. Addison and there's SO many more questions than answers that linger and haunt.

I’m feeling haunted already. I could not put the book down, read in one day! The story itself was so sad, hard to swallow because we know it’s real life for so many people. But the story just kept shocking me more and more. When I thought the shocks were over w, they just kept coming.

The ending left me...haunted. I feel like I need to discuss the ending w people, I’m disturbed! Confused! Mary Bell!

It gets solid 5 stars from me for being such a compelling story. Even if the book didn’t go exactly how I hoped lol it was dang good.

I miss Ted lol these characters still feel real to me! Like I just woke up from a dream, half awake half still dreaming. I have a book hang over!

I just finished reading Allegedly and I know this is one that I will not be able to shake from my mind. Allegedly reads like a true crime novel, and could be a real-life non-fiction story in my opinion. It takes you by the seat of your pants and does not let you go. I finished this book in one weekend, reading any chance I could -- in the car, on the way to church, even getting into bed at 6 p.m over the weekend just to read. You'll feel for Mary, the main character and the life she has been doled out because of her crazed mother and the crime she committed, and how her mom throws her daughter 'under the bus' making her take the blame for an infant's death. This is an exciting read, one that will blow you away, and one that I would recommend for more mature readers -- Tiffany Jackson has done an amazing job crafting a story that will make you rethink the justice system, family, race, friendship and love -- just a stunning debut that will haunt you long after you say goodbye to Mary B. Addison.

The stories of baby jail and group homes rang true, and I cared about Mary and her allies- so much that I felt manipulated by the ending. It was a sharp reminder that this is genre fiction, and not the genre of "woke" YA I hoped it was in but the twisty one of unreliable narrator thriller that is in vogue at the moment. Mass incarceration starts by demonizing black children. I didn't want the book to be preachy, but it ends with a kind of color-blind psychologizing that lets the system off the hook. It was a cruel picture of other girls in the group home, too...especially Sarah, who emerges as an privileged, evil psychopath with no back story to humanize her. Possibly there are people like that, but they are so one-dimensional that they subtract depth from a story. The real evil exposed here is in the court and juvenile justice systems, but that gets sidelined- after all, what would you do with children like Sarah?

Trigger warning: Abuse, talk/attempt of rape, animal abuse (it’s a very short part but I felt like I should add it because it was kind of gruesome).

Do you ever feel strangely drawn to a book, like it’s something that you’re supposed to read for some reason? That’s how I felt when starting Allegedly, and for the most part it did NOT disappoint! I can see a lot of people loving this book, it had so many plot twists and always kept you guessing.

The writing was what drew me in, it was captivating. There were snippets of articles about the main character and what she allegedly did, there were interview transcripts to split up the chapters by scenes. This was a definite way to keep me reading because we got other peoples take on Mary. Whenever a book has this, I’m 500% more likely to read it. They add on to the questions and make you ask yourself if you really know what’s going on. Or if these people are actually being honest with their take on Mary.

For the most part Allegedly was a 5/5 star read for me, like I said above I can see a lot of people liking this book. But it just wasn’t really the book I needed to read right now. With all of the trigger warnings above, my feelings for this book kind of fell. I think that this was the point of the book though, to make you think and to make you see that not everything is going to be rainbows and butterflies for Mary. But there was also a lot of talk about sex and that’s not something I’m personally comfortable with and the animal abuse scene was a bit too much for me. If you’re not a fan of swearing, also, this book has a lot of that.

But what bothered me the most was the ending (and this is more of a personal opinion, it’s not anything against the book). *Spoilers* I was hoping for a happy ending because all of what she went through but finding out the actual truth (from what I understand) just really depressed me. Like I said it’s nothing against the book but I felt very sad at the end. I was hoping Mary would find the happiness she deserved. *End Spoilers* Another thing about the ending (with no spoilers here), is that I felt like the whole story was pointless. It built up for this one moment that never really got the happen. So it was a bit disappointing.

Other than my own personal opinions, I thought this book was an easy 5/5 or 4/5. It was definitely a great book with A LOT of great promises. Just keep in mind those trigger warnings above, if you’re uncomfortable with any of those (along with swearing).

Plot: Holy crap, this book. Did you read the first line to the synopsis? That's the overall tone and it was absolutely gripping!

As a child, Mary was convicted of killing an infant; as a result, she did some time in juvvie and then was sent to a group home until she graduated high school. While the summary mentioned the consequences of a black girl being accused of killing a white baby, I found that this book didn't really focus on race relations, instead, Allegedly followed Mary and her day-to-day life. The mystery of this novel was that no one truly knew what happened the night the police found Mary and her mother with a dead infant, there were only assumptions and speculations.

Jackson's career involves television and horror films and that translated well for Allegedly. There was always the sense of not really understanding the full story, and Jackson's world was so gritty that I couldn't put this book down well past my bedtime (and I enjoy my sleep, so that's saying something).

Characters: Jackson's characters were real. These girls were the unfortunate result of a state system not providing the best care for young people. They were crude, they were cruel, and they were deemed a burden on society. Mary; however, was determined to make the best out of a terrible situation. She was smart and set to go to university so that she could provide for her boyfriend, Ted, and their future child. What I loved about Allegedly was that there wasn't a clear-cut division between "good" and "evil". I don't know if I can really say that there are any "good" characters, just people trying to survive given their circumstances, which made them all the more interesting.

Worldbuilding: This New York was dirty and wasn't exactly welcoming. Jackson's writing is phenomenal, that is unquestionable, and I absolutely loved how she described Mary's sheltered life. I felt like I was with Mary on the outside looking in and hoping to live just one day like a "normal" teenager.

Short N Sweet: Tiffany D. Jackson's Allegedly is haunting and will keep you on your toes. I'll be more than happy to scream with you once you finish this novel.

Allegedly is a realistic young-adult debut novel written by Tiffany D. Jackson. Purposefully, I haven't been reading much YA lately so I put a lot of trust in my fellow adult reviewers who have been showering this title with shiny 4 and 5 stars. After reading, I can safely say the praise isn't too generous and it isn't undeserved.

In my experience, it has been difficult to find complex YA that is as captivating for adults as it is for teens. They are few and far between in my opinion. Allegedly held my attention from start to finish. I was engaged and invested, and found it surprisingly unpredictable at the end which is a feat for this genre. The realistic quality of this novel is strong. Over half of my career in the field of behavioral health has been spent in the dependency system. I know foster care, therapeutic group homes, and even “baby jail” inside and out and this portrayal of a minor growing up in these settings is not far from the truth. I could write my own book about what that means...maybe I will. Despite every state's very vocal call for change in the care of precious children, the protectors continue to harm, both knowingly and unknowingly. "The lesser of two evils," some say. "Why are their two evils?" I say.

“Do you know how much time, how much you have to go through, to not recognize your own self?” Meet Mary and find out.

My favorite quote:
“What you may or may not have done is not the definition of who you really are.”

Tiffany D. Jackson’s Allegedly is one of the strongest debuts I’ve ever read. Mary B. Addison’s life is run by the state. Convicted of manslaughter at age nine, Mary has been in the system for nearly seven years. The group home she currently resides in is a living nightmare. The adults she is surrounded by are apathetic at best and the other girls in the group home can be ruthless and cruel. Mary just tries her best to survive, but when she discovers she is pregnant, she has more than herself to worry about. Mary wants to keep her baby, but with the kind of conviction she has on her record, Mary will be lucky to even hold her baby before its taken away. In order for her to even have a chance to raise her own child, Mary must confront her past and speak up when so many have wished to silence her.

Mary’s story is both compelling and heartbreaking. Mary is adamant about her innocence, but she’s also torn between telling the truth and condemning the one person in her life she’s always felt protective of: her mother. The author does an incredible job of holding the reader’s attention, not only by using Mary’s appeal to overturn her case to push the story forward, but also by weaving in excerpts from interviews and various officials’ notes in order to give a clearer picture of Mary’s past. With the entire system stacked against her, it isn’t hard to root for Mary, to hope that she could somehow have a happy ending. But there are instances when Mary’s credibility is brought into question. It isn’t that she is necessarily lying, but that she isn’t telling the whole truth. What happened the night little Alyssa died is shrouded in mystery and while I wanted to hear the whole story from Mary sooner, it was the secrecy and uncertainty of that night that kept me reading.

The most interesting and powerful relationship in Allegedly is Mary’s complicated dynamic with her mother. Though Mary has been through a lifetime of pain, she’s still in many ways very young. Her emotional age is never more apparent than when discussing her mother. Though she blames her mother for what happened to Alyssa, she still wants to protect her. She still worries about her mother’s mental health when she isn’t around, whether she’s been taking her pills and if she’s been having as her mother phrases it “a day.” She wishes more than anything to be able to talk to her mother when it comes to her pregnancy, but her mother remains antagonistic toward the very idea, so Mary remains very much isolated. Mary is starved for motherly love, but is also understandably distrustful of strangers. For her, it isn’t a matter of if the people in her life will disappoint her, but a matter of when.

Allegedly examines minors in the justice system, systemic racism, mental illness, teen pregnancy, and a myriad of other important topics. Jackson has crafted an amazing debut that is both moving and thought-provoking and one that I will not soon forget.

This review originally appeared on herestohappyendings.com.

Allegedly was one dark and twisted book that was a total page turner for me. It made me go from hating the narrator, to loving her, to not having any idea how I felt. It’s probably one of the darkest books that I’ve read in ages, and that’s saying something.

Allegedly tells the story of Mary B. Addison, who is currently in a group home because she allegedly killed a baby when she was nine years old. She’s been to “baby jail” already, and now she is biding her time until she turns eighteen, which is just two years away. But the question is, did she do it? Did she actually kill an innocent baby? Or is there more to the story that hasn’t been told?

“Guess birthdays don’t mean nothing in a group home. I mean, it kind of makes sense. Hard to celebrate the day you were born when everybody seems to wish you were never born at all. Especially after you come into this world and f--- it all up.”

Wile Mary is serving her time, trying to stay alive in a group home full of girls who make her life hell, she is also working on planning for her future. What will life hold for her once she gets out of the group home? Will she ever be able to go to college, or is that a dream she will never get to achieve? What lies in store for her and her boyfriend, whom she works with at the nursing home?

When she discovers that she’s pregnant, she isn’t sure what’s going to happen. Will she keep the baby or be forced to give it away? After all, she did allegedly kill a baby, so she isn’t sure how things are going to play out for her. Struggling to keep her relationship with Ted, the eighteen year old she works with at the nursing home, a secret, Mary has other things on her plate now – she’s pregnant, stuck in a group home where she fears for her life, and has no idea what her future holds for her. She wants to go to college and make a life for herself, as well as fight for her right to keep her baby. But with the conviction of manslaughter on her shoulders, and only her and mother to know what really happened that night, how will it play out for Mary?

Mary is a completely unreliable narrator who weaves you in and out of a story that is full of more twists and turns than I thought possible. I loved not knowing how to react to Mary – she was unpredictable and made the story such a great one to get lost in.

The relationship she had with Ted in the novel seemed very realistic. I wanted the best for the both of them, but at the same time I found myself wondering if they were ever going to get that happy ending.

“I kept thinking, is this what boys do, make you feel naked with all your clothes on? And the way he smiled at me, like he was honestly happy to see me, reminded me of a time when someone wanted me. I would have given anything to have that again.”

The relationships in Allegedly are all so complex, making them so much deeper than your typical YA relationships. Mary is forced to deal with the shortcomings of everyone she trusted, like a problem that she faces with Ted, and the realization that all she wanted was to feel loved. The relationship she had with her mother was painful to read about, as well, and while her mother came to the group home to visit her, you can tell that the only reason she was there was for appearances.

While her and Ted’s realtionship was kind of sweet at times, I honestly hated his character, especially after it is revealed what he was in a group home for. What he did was absolutely horrible.

But the thing that makes this book such a psychological roller coaster is that for years, Mary sat back and took the blame for killing a baby. But now, years later, she decides that she wants to open the case back up again. She comes forth with new information that she claims to remember, even though it seems sketchy. There is just so much in this book that will throw you for a loop, and I mean that in a good way. It kept me guessing and I loved every minute of it.

The only thing I wasn’t particularly keen on was the ending. I kind of felt like the ending of the book was a bit thrown together just for shocks, and I guess I wish there would have been an ending that made the story even stronger.

Allegedly is a really heartbreaking and painful book to read, and if you do pick it up (which I highly recommend you do), you’re going to be in for a ride from the very first page until the last.

Note: I received an eARC of this book from the publisher via Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review,

This is my third time writing up this review because the first two just didn’t sit well with me. My words did feel adequate enough to convey how much I enjoy this book and how much I need folks out there to read Allegedly with an open mind and heart. Author Tiffany D. Jackson stunning debut is an intense, dark and gritty read. Told through the eyes of Mary B. Addison an alleged baby killer we the readers get immersed in this thrilling and shocking page turner. It’s one of those books that you can’t put down until the very end. I highly recommend this read.

For a debut author, Tiffany D. Jackson does a phenomenal job and hits all the right point. Not only is Allegedly, honest, raw and ultra-realistic with showing how the juvenile justice system is broken and often times fail the children that are send there but Mary the protagonist is one of the most complex and layered characters that I’ve read to date. Maybe because I find it refreshing to see someone that I can related to and understand. Not the whole alleged baby killing thing but the mannerisms and language. To the non-poc you get a glimpse or small part of black culture. The way we communicate with one another and navigate in a white world. With that being said this is why I ask you to read this book with an open heart and mind.

Without going into this topic too much, there’s been some debate about how the teenagers within Allegedly, aren’t how teenagers act and speak. Many of you might not know AAVE and that’s okay but I would hope you as a reviewer or reader wouldn’t downgrade a book because you couldn’t understand the “language”. If you can speak Klingon and Elvish I’m should AAVE can come to you naturally as well.

Anyways, if you’re looking for a powerful, gut-wrenching and heartbreaking read, Allegedly is the book for you. Prepare yourself to get knockdown and knockout over and over again as Tiffany D. Jackson hits you with the heavy topics. From Domestic Violence to Mental Illness to Pregnancy to Murder. By the end it will feel like you just finished a boxing round with Mike Tyson. Allegedly, is a powerhouse debut that is bold, uncompromising and at times hard to swallow as it reads like a true crime novel. With so many twist and turns this book will have you asking if Mary did it.

Beyond that, Allegedly is an important read. A book that will be a great discussion starter on how to better these systems that are supposed to protect children instead of leaving them to fend for themselves. It maybe fiction but I’m sure this book will hit close to home to many.

P.S. I know this review might not be the best but it’s damn hard to convey and send out the right tone on why this book is important and why you loved it so much. All I ask is that you the readers out there don’t let this one slip under the radar. It’s a damn good book.

I received an e-arc via Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review.

Stereotype: Noun: A widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing.
 A person or thing that conforms to a widely held but oversimplified image of the class or type to which they belong.

Verb: [With object] View or represent as a stereotype.

Allegedly is a story which will stay with me for a long time. It's extremely difficult to read at times but is never meant to be easy. What do you do when everybody believes you incapable of making good choices, yet more than capable of doing something horrific? How would you cope when you have to fight popular opinion and cultural stereotypes? Would you fight for justice, to have your voice heard, or fold against the pressure? Would you challenge racist stereotypes and fight for more diversity in the world? Allegedly looks at it all.

Although the plot is difficult and uncomfortable I found myself pulled into the story and the controversial subject. I wanted to know the real Mary.

The plot has a festering truth to it. Enriched by the back story, reports and research, I never quite knew what to think or feel. Mary's choices are difficult and the story really points out some pretty unsettling truths about the world we live in. I'm going to add a trigger warning due to the more adult content and scenes of abuse.

I'm not sure what I expected from Allegedly but I wasn't prepared for the grit and drama to be as hard hitting as it was for a YA story. I appreciated the message of the story, even if the ending had me wanting to hide the book in the naughty corner.

Tiffany D. Jackson really knows how to test her characters and readers - I felt emotionally raw after finishing Allegedly but am very glad to have read it.

4 Stars in my Sky!

I received a review copy

Allegedly was a shocking read all the way through. Mary, who was nine years old at the time, was accused of killing a three month old baby. Her "momma" makes sure to let the police know that she had nothing to do with it and that the blame was to be placed entirely on her daughter. I saw right away what kind of a mother Dawn was to Mary. And it was someone no child like Mary should have had at her side. It lands Mary in baby jail and later into a group home that is trouble all around.

Dawn is a woman that doesn't deserve to be called a mother. She constantly thinks about herself, never worried about her daughter, how she is surviving, what is going through her mind, or anything having to do with the case of baby Alyssa. The reader wonders right from the beginning if it was all a lie. Was Mary's mother really behind it all? Or is Mary so traumatized from her upbringing that she coped with things in her own way. But at every turn of the page her mother seems more the culprit than anything else.

"Sometimes I think Momma used to forget who I was when she beat me. Or maybe she was just a whole different person altogether. Her eyes would go blank, face almost unrecognizably mashed up in rage."

Mary's truth begins to reveal itself as she finds out she is pregnant. No one believes her at first because so many years have passed and not once has she ever denied fault in the incident or shown any signs of being a guiltless victim in all of this. Many question her motives, including the fact that her baby will be taken from her the minute she gives birth. Only a few will be by her side, fighting for justice in this heartbreaking case. Even Alyssa's mother believes her to be innocent of the murder.

"Did you kill Alyssa?' she asks, without looking at me.

I can feel the weight of the question, built and held inside her head for years. She sounds exhausted from carrying it around for so long. And I don't want to lie. I really don't.

'No.'

She sighs with her entire body.

'Never thought you did."

In all of this going on, her trying to prove her innocence, trying to stay strong for her little bean, she is constantly harassed and mistreated from all sides. The group home she is in is the worst place to be, especially as her pregnancy progresses. There is one girl, often called the "new girl" Sarah, that Mary has let her guard down with. But is she really someone to confide in or she one of the many that is full of guilt and murderous intentions? My mind is taken from one bad situation to another. That is Mary's life since she was born. So it brings back the suspicion, is Mary actually innocent or has she just begun to believe her own version of that night. Is she so damaged that she took a life and feels no genuine remorse?

When it feels like some good will find its way into her life, everything is turned upside down again. Allegedly is not an easy read, but it makes you feel and think about everything that goes on around us. The many secrets and hardships many have to live through. I found myself reading through this book, at many parts of it shaking my head, others in pure shock, many of it mad at the words within the pages. But in all of that I realized that it captured my full attention and made me cherish everything and everyone around me. It is a book that I would undoubtedly recommend to anyone. And what a spine-chilling last few pages the reader is left with.

Mary has served six years for killing a baby when she was nine years old. Now she is living in a group home with other teen girls, including ones who want to hurt her. Mary doesn’t talk much and didn’t speak for months after the baby’s death. Now though, Mary has something to speak up for and fight for. She has an older boyfriend who works at the nursing home where Mary is assigned. She also has their unborn child. Mary is smart and loves to read. She sets her mind on going to college and completing SATs. However, there are a lot of hurdles and barriers in her way from the system itself to just getting an ID. As Mary starts to fight back she will have to take on her mother, the person whose testimony got her locked up in the first place.

This is one incredible debut novel. It takes a dark and unflinching look at how our society treats young offenders and the bleak lives that are left to them. It also speaks to the horror of a baby being killed and the effect that race, where a black girl is accused of killing a white baby, has on the system. The writing is outstanding, allowing the desperation to seep into the pages and the darkness to simply stand, stark and true.

Mary is an amazing protagonist. Readers will relate to her as her intelligence shines on the page despite the grime surrounding her. As she begins to build hope and a new life around herself, readers will feel their own hopes soar and warmth creep in. Mary though is not a simple character, a girl wronged. She is her own person, messing up in her own ways and speaking her own truth.

Complex and riveting, this debut novel is one that is dazzling, deep and dark. Appropriate for ages 16-18.

Mary B. Addison is notorious. Her trial made headlines when, at the age of nine, she was convicted of killing a three month old baby. Now out of prison and living in a group home, Mary is just trying to get through life, but when she discovers she is pregnant, she will need to set the record straight in order to save her baby.

Allegedly is one of those books that will stay with you longer after you read the last page. Tiffany Jackson's characters are so well drawn that I expected to meet them walking down the street, but she imbues them with such complexity that it's hard to judge them, even though on the surface, they have all done some awful things. The book will have you questioning not only our justice system, but our safety net that is supposed to protect the most vulnerable among us. A tightly paced and suspenseful novel.

Unsettling. Powerful. Violent. 9-year-old Mary is accused and convicted of murdering a 3-month-old white baby named Alyssa; she and her mother Dawn were caring for the child. People accept the truth of this largely because Mary and her mother are African-American. Mary lives for a time in baby jail and now, at age 16, she is living in a group home surrounded by other teens who pose a constant threat to her life. Mary is 16 and has a tender relationship with her boyfriend, Ted; she becomes pregnant and wants to keep her baby. In order to do this, Mary decides that she has to tell the truth about the murder that she--allegedly--committed. I listened to Bahni Turpin's riveting narration of the audiobook of "Allegedly." This is Tiffany Jackson's first published novel and it is a stunner. The pace never lets up and I wasn't sure what was going to happen until the very last page. Mary is a completely absorbing character. The horrors of her jail experience seem utterly believable to me (although I've never been in jail) and the holes in Mary's care--from overworked social workers and well-meaning psychologists to vituperative halfway house personnel--are truly hair-raising. This book will haunt you long after you finish it.

This book kept me glued to pages from the beginning to the end. I couldn't believe what was happening in the novel, and how the main character was going through all those emotions. And than.. the end.. I mean.. What?!?! (I don't want to spoil it).

"Allegedly" is dark, provoking and emotional novel. There is violence and many disturbing scenes. From the beginning I felt for Mary, the main protagonist. I rooted for her, and was proud of her, when she was making decisions about college. And yet... Even I, the reader, underestimated her.
The novel shows, how the justice system and mental health system are messed up, and how it is so easy to put a blame on person of color.
Mary killed a three months old baby. Allegedly. Mary was only 9 years old. Now, 16 years old, she lives with other girls, who committed crime, in abusive group house. There is no peace, no respect, no safety. When Mary learns she is pregnant she decides to stand up for herself and her future baby and tell the truth, what really happened in the night when baby Alyssa died. But what is the truth? Who killed the baby?

This was very suspenseful. It was a pretty intense story actually. A nine year old accused of killing a 3 month old baby is sure to get a parents attention. It's a YA book, but the story was something out of headlines. Anyway, I had to take a peek behind the scenes which is what most of us don't get to see after the head lines fade. I really felt bad for Mary. What a crappy life she was born into. Her mother was a real piece of work and the folks in the justice system- whew... Sad, over all sad. But worth reading the rest of the story the news forgets.

Like most of the other readers, I found this book disturbing, eye-opening, and deeply emotional. There are so many worthy themes in this book: race in the criminal justice system, criminality in children, mental illness, prison conditions, and problematic child/parent relationships. Jackson handles each with care, attention, and grace. I grew to care about the protagonist, root for her, and hope she would escape her circumstances. That's why the last chapter left me so completely gutted. I felt conned, which is an unusual feeling for me as a reader. It was obviously what the author was going for, so hats off to her for hoodwinking a fairly savvy reader. Unfortunately, it makes me reluctant to recommend the book to people I like because I want to spare them the emotional agony I went through.

This book was a terrifying, suspenseful, beautiful, poignant read that made me think... a lot. I'm still not absolutely sure how I feel about the ending, but the story was really intriguing. It's about Mary, who allegedly killed a baby when she was just 9 years old and has been in "baby jail" and then a group home ever since. Not only did this made me question the injustices of our incarceration system (the protagonist is black, the baby she allegedly killed is white, and it's pointed out more than once that if this wasn't the case... perhaps she would have gotten a much less harsh punishment) but also who lies and how they lie and what those lies reveal about us.

Mary allegedly killed a baby when she was only nine years old. But did she commit the act or was it someone else? Following her life within a group home and struggles with other the girls, Mary strives to create a future for herself despite the bleak uncertainty. Full of drama, suspense, and the all too realness of the judicial system, Allegedly is a fastpaced page-turner meant for more than just entertainment but also for discussion.

My expectations were blown away by Allegedly. The story went in a totally different direction from what I thought was going to happen, and it was—wow. It’s certainly a story that you’ll have to think about even after finishing the last page to fit the pieces into the puzzle. Allegedly is a prime example of great storytelling, I could not say more than that (actually I could say I’d like to read a sequel or something of that nature).

So read it.

I'm still reeling after finishing this delicious piece of literary art. It's the story of 15-year-old Mary, who's finishing out her parole in a dangerous and toxic group home. At the age of nine, Mary was convicted of killing a baby that she and her mother were babysitting for. The question is, did Mary really do it?

Here's what I look for in a well-written psych thriller:

Is the plot unique and distinctive? Check!
Are the characters richly developed and contribute to the storyline? Check!
Is there jaw-dropping suspense with lots of surprises, hiccups and intensity? Check!
Was the ending the explosion I was hoping for? Check

I'm salivating in anticipation of a sequel and I sure hope Ms. Jackson is planning one.

Emily May said it best in her review (see Goodreads). This was a solid 5 star read until the very last chapter. The last chapter weakened an otherwise strong story. In my opinion, it almost seemed like the author wasn't sure how to end the story and went with this sort of twist instead of an ending that would have felt more authentic given how the story had played out thus far.

Other than the disappointing ending, I thoroughly enjoyed Allegedly. It was a compelling story that captivated my attention from the very first page. An overall intense and difficult story to digest, but totally worth the read.

This book is powerful and raw. The subject matter is hard to read at times (Mary is accused of killing a baby; the girls in her group home are disturbed and disturbing in a variety of ways, and the world Mary inhabits is often cruel and dismissive), but the book was almost impossible to put down. Jackson has created a compelling story and mystery--what *really* happened the night baby Alyssa died--that pulls readers through the pages. The characters are deftly constructed: flawed, human, sometimes surprising in their grace and sometimes in their cruelty. A book for more mature teens (given the content and some language), but a much-needed look into an often-underrepresented world. And the ending! I'm still reeling.

Allegedly was an interesting and complicated book. It deals with a variety of topics, such as teen pregnancy, abuse, and murder. It's obviously a very dark read and if you do decide to read it prepare yourself for some of the dark topics.

For the most part I really enjoyed reading Allegedly, I love books that deal with murder and mystery and this book combined those two topics very well. Allegedly is about a teen girl, Mary, who was accused of killing a baby girl. While the murder is a central element to the plot, the author does a great job at including other elements, such as Mary planning to take the SATs and her relationship with her boyfriend Ted.
Allegedly reminds me a lot of Dangerous Girls by Abigail Haas, both books deal with murder and they have an unreliable narrator. If you've read Dangerous Girls, you'll also notice they both have similar endings. Allegedly, however, has a very unique take on it. It deals with current issues, such as racial discrimination in the justice system and other topics like teen pregnancy. This made Allegedly a very interesting and compelling read. I loved how the author included racial discrimination in crimes because it reflects how the world really is. I mentioned earlier that there's also an unreliable narrator. Mary is definitely unreliable because while you're expected to assume she didn't kill the baby, there are a lot of details that will make you think otherwise despite the fact Mary is convinced she didn't kill the baby.

The characters in Allgegdly are very interesting, however some are a bit stereotypical. In Mary's group home the girls are very disrespectful and uncouth which isn't surprising considering they're all in there for some sort of problem. I would like to point out that some of the girls use homophobic language, so be aware of that if you plan on reading the book. I really liked Mary, you can't help but feel sorry for her and the situation she's in. Throughout the book I felt myself cheering her on and I wanted her to get out of her terrible home situation. Despite the fact that I'm not that big on romances I really liked Ted and Mary's relationship, it was very genuine and honest (and yay for black love!).

Allegedly for the most part is very fast paced, almost a little too fast paced. I would have liked if the author had dragged out a few more scenes, such as when Mary talks to her lawyer about the night of the murder. The ending of Allegedly is also very rushed which in retrospect adds to the suspense and unreliability of the story. While the ending is frustrating because it leaves a lot of questions unanswered, I liked it because it's also free for interpretation.

Overall I highly recommend Allegedly if you're looking for a good mystery about a murder and a diverse book written by a marginalized author.

Allegedly is the story of Mary, a pregnant teen who’s living in a group home after years spent in “baby jail” thanks to a murder conviction at age nine. This book is gritty and unflinching, and I loved it. I had the pleasure of hearing author Tiffany Jackson talk about researching and writing Allegedly at recent book festival, and knowing now that much of this debut is based on the accounts of real-life girls caught up in a system that’s constantly failing them made this read all the more riveting. Big recommend, especially if you favor books that’ll leave you feeling shredded, and changed.

Book #63 Read in 2017
Allegedly by Tiffany D. Jackson

This is a gritty, realistic fiction young adult novel. Mary is in a group home, after years in a juvenile detention center or "baby jail". Allegedly, Mary killed an infant that her mother was babysitting. But did she? Her mother is not exactly mother-of-the year material. Mary wants to get an education, go to college and form some sort of life for herself but will that really be possible? High school and adult readers will be drawn to this book.

Mary killed a baby--allegedly--but now she's pregnant with one of her own. She won't be able to keep it unless she manages to clear her name, which will be hard to do considering how big of splash her murder conviction made: there were news articles, textbooks, psychological studies... but what REALLY happened on the night she and her mother were alone with a baby who wound up dead?

Wow. This twisty-turny piece of dark magic will take root in your brain and sprout and grow, and MONTHS after reading it, you'll still be trying to figure out how the author pulled the whole thing off. Every time I thought I'd figured out the truth, some new piece of evidence or recollection would pop up and unravel everything.

My favorite thing about this book was the inclusion of all of these fictional articles and studies and analyses of Mary and the case. They all felt so real, I often wondered if the book was based on something that really happened.

Do note: people who love nothing but Happily Ever After need not apply, but if you dig a good thrill ride, this is definitely the book for you.