By the way - Some Thoughts on Kindness

An amazing short read, but very powerful and full of insight to what is most missing in our society today. Kudos to George Saunders, I hope many people will have the opportunity to read and share their experience with this book.

An amazing short read, but very powerful and full of insight to what is most missing in our society today. Kudos to George Saunders, I hope many people will have the opportunity to read and share their experience with this book.

Brief, but the most important things in life are simple. I heard George say of aging that it comes natural, and added that our hardened personal neurosis requires so much energy to maintain that we simply have to let go. It's easy to have his company near your soul.

What a delightful little book. I inhaled it. I kept thinking, I have three granddaughters who will someday be graduates and I can't wait to give it to them. I want to have lunch with this man. And start reading some of his other books. Buy it as a graduation present for somebody, anybody.

”Down the rough ages, a traditional form has evolved for this type of speech, which is: Some old fart, his best years behind him, who over the course of his life has made a series of dreadful mistakes (that would be me), gives heartfelt advice to a group of shining, energetic young people with all of their best years ahead of that (that would be you)>

And I intent to respect that tradition.”

And so he talks about the things he’s done, things perhaps someone else might think he would regret, or should regret, but doesn’t. And then he talks about one thing from his youth that he does regret, not standing up for a young girl in his neighborhood, in his school who was picked on. Ridiculed. He had no part in this, other than one important way – he didn’t do anything to help; he didn’t disparage the bullies or stand up for her. He wasn’t unkind to her, he just wasn’t kind to her.
This is just lovely, short enough for a young reader, compelling enough for the oldest and wisest reader.

Simple enough, you say. So why is it that we all aren’t doing it every day to everyone? He talks about the things that get in the way, about success after graduation, goals in life – the concrete, measurable kind, how easy it is to push away the thought that this moment in front of you deserves your kindness. But, still…

”… err in the direction of kindness…”

Recommended

As graduates begin their careers, what should be at the top of their list? Saunders says it's to never let a chance to be kind go by unfulfilled. And he says it beautifully.

Saunders is right. If I had to name the happiest people I've met in my life and that I remember with the most fondness, it would be those who were consistently kind to me and to others.

If I could choose the legacy to leave when I depart this world - the way I'd like to be remembered, it might be "He was always kind" (I'm sure it won't be).

Saunders gives us the inspiration to be kind and a few suggestions as to how. Not bad for only a few words.

This book is an expanded version of a commencement speech to the Syracuse University class of 2013.

“What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness.”

“Or, to look at it from the other end of the telescope: Who, in your life, do you remember most fondly, with the most undeniable feelings of warmth? Those who were kindest to you, I bet. It’s a little facile, maybe, and certainly hard to implement, but I’d say, as a goal in life, you could do worse than: Try to be kinder.”

“In your life there have been High Kindness periods and Low Kindness periods… It’s an exciting idea: Since we have observed that kindness is variable, we might also sensibly conclude that it is improvable.” Saunders encourages us to increase our “ambient level of kindness.” — What a cool choice of words.

“I can look back and see that I’ve spent much of my life in a cloud of things that have tended to push ‘being kind’ to the periphery. Things like: Anxiety. Fear. Insecurity. Ambition. The mistaken belief that enough accomplishment will rid me of all that anxiety, fear, insecurity, and ambition. The belief that if I can only accrue enough—enough accomplishment, money, fame—my neuroses will disappear. I’ve been in this fog certainly since, at least, my own graduation day... Kindness, sure—but first let me finish this semester, this degree, this book; let me succeed at this job, and afford this house, and raise these kids, and then, finally, when all is accomplished, I’ll get started on the kindness. Except it never all gets accomplished. It’s a cycle that can go on… well, forever.”

“So, quick, end-of-speech advice. Since, according to me, your life is going to be a gradual process of becoming kinder and more loving: Hurry up. Speed it along. Start right now. There’s a confusion in each of us, a sickness, really: selfishness. But there’s also a cure.”

“Do all the other things, of course, the ambitious things—travel, get rich, get famous, innovate, lead, fall in love, make and lose fortunes, swim naked in wild jungle rivers (after having them tested for monkey poop)—but as you do, to the extent that you can, err in the direction of kindness. Do those things that incline you toward the big questions, and avoid the things that would reduce you and make you trivial. That luminous part of you that exists beyond personality—your soul, if you will—is as bright and shining as any that has ever been. Bright as Shakespeare’s, bright as Ghandi’s, bright as Mother Teresa’s. Clear away everything that keeps you separate from this secret, luminous place. Believe that it exists, come to know it better, nurture it, share its fruits tirelessly.”

This is a really short book. The pages are unnumbered. the store says there are 64, but I counted 26 pages of text and 26 pages of illustration. They must be counting the copyright page, the title page, and the end papers. In any case, it is attractively packaged in a hardcover format, presumably to be given as a gift for graduations, Christmas, or other occasions.

The entire speech was reprinted as an article in the New York Times on July 31, 2013.

My introduction to Saunders was Tenth of December, and I was wowed. His was such a fresh, original voice.,, and the kindness in what he wrote was refreshing. This little book, Congratulations, is nice enough, but I was disappointed. Where was that fresh voice I loved? This could have been turned out by any number of nice people with good grammar.. I hope the graduates were listening, because he gave them good... that is to say, nice... advice. But it isn't art, to my way of thinking, and I expected art from him. I was hoping there would at least be more essays, but no...

As someone who believes civility to one another is in short supply I found this book filfulling. As we text and endlessly play and work on computers it is easy to be unkind. Everything needs to be a personal interpretation by the person delivering the value in respect and being kind. This short 10 minute read is worth everyone's time.

This is a VERY brief, heartwarming commencement speech on kindness. It is well worth reading. But be forewarned: It is NOT 64 pages of real text. It won't take you more than a few minutes to read it. You could probably read the whole thing during one or two commercial breaks while you're watching your favorite TV show. Borrow it from the library instead of buying it because you'll probably be ticked off that you spent money on something this short. But do read it. Mr. Saunders gives very good advice.

My review is for the small hard cover volume (which I borrowed from our local library). The 26 pages of text are printed on the right side of each 2-page spread with a blue background starry image on the left. Some pages are full of text, and some only have a sentence or two. Though it took me only 5-10 minutes to read through, I read it several times because I so enjoyed the timeless message of kindness. Saunders delivered this as a commencement address (which apparently you can find reprinted online). This nice little volume could be offered as a gift book to a recent graduate. It's not a typical commencement address; it's focused on learning to be kind sooner rather than later. Don't let the acquisition of status and possessions get in the way of practicing kindness regularly. A lovely message for people in all stages of life - whether they're just commencing their careers, or just commencing the next day of their lives.

What an inspiring little book! I bought this book on a whim and I was so surprised at how much I identified with the messages in this book. Kindness...a simple word to say, but can be such a difficult concept to incorporate into daily life. I was moved at his words and inspired to try to bring more kindness into this world through my actions and words. Very inspiring! This would be a GREAT book to recommend to Everyone!

Liked the sentiments and presentation. Secular Buddhist message - touching on basic ideas of 1) there will be suffering, 2) it will not be permanent, and 3) it is not personal. Also advances idea of lovingkindness (metta) meditation, supporting kindness and compassion as key virtues. Sorry to say not many graduation speakers speak out along these lines, though more probably should. Thanks for making this talk available for an edifying listen.

Henry James on his deathbed was asked what advice he would give about life. He said 'Be Kind, Be Kind, Be Kind'. This is the message at the heart of the Commencement address George Saunders gave to the Syracause University graduating class of 2014. Saunders opens with the question of what he really regrets about his life. He humorously lists a number of things, and then comes down to a story about a girl he did not befriend who came to his grade school many years. The regret is that he wasn't kind.
He goes on to talk about how Kindness is not some external sentimental quality but essential to being a truly integrated and well human being. He speaks about the egoism, the sense of invincibility, the sense of separateness which often characterize the young. And he suggests that as people grow older, know disappointments and difficulties and losses in life they almost naturally become -kinder.
He speaks an encouraging, hopeful humane message to the class.
What he says to me seems true and correct. But I would qualify it. He makes 'Kindness' seem simple and apparently believes it invariably is. But my sense is that it is a much more complicated virtue, one in which conflicts in decision make it more problematic than he suggests. There are also times when as my father used to say 'You are good, you are good and you are no good.' There is a teaching of the Jewish sages that those 'who are kind to the Cruel will end up being cruel to the Kind.'I think there is Wisdom in that.
So while I believe the major message correct here I believe a true examination of the subject would require a much deeper kind of thinking.

This book contains the text of a graduation speech given by George Saunders at Syracuse University in May 2013. The text is available online for free, but the book is nicely printed and makes an appropriate gift for a newly-minted high school or college graduate. Saunders makes an earnest and eloquent case that we are bound to be decent to each other and may as well start now. Though the format is too short for much explicit moral argumentation, he justifies morality without reference to spirituality, saying essentially "when all is said and done, the only thing you are likely to regret is failures of kindness."

It's touching and a very quick read, perhaps ten minutes.

As a high school graduation gift, this was perfect. My daughter read it and loved it. I read it too. George Saunders can be creative and offbeat, but this was a simple and direct message to incorporate kindness into your life.

This feels right. Saunders lays out the case for kindness in simple, honest terms. I am convinced. No more words or arguments needed. We all have it in us, that luminosity. We all know kindness, have given and received it.