Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful

It was organized logically, offered balanced perspectives and was extremely insightful. My feelings were described and validated. I would recommend this book to anyone seeking to understand the complexities of infidelity

The best part of the book was when they discussed childhood traumas directing subconscious comfort zones as well as discussing navigating a culture that supports, conditions, and ultimately makes cheating incredibly accessible. Marriage is at war with modern society and this book navigates healthy options for couples to weather the storm of cyber activity. It's pretty good for someone that hasn't ever been to therapy, and it is of course a great read for ALL couples trying to rebuild their marriage.

This book is excellent for anyone who has been involved in an affair, a victim of an affair, or for anyone thinking about becoming involved in an affair. It is very helpful dealing with the pain and understanding of the devastation an affair causes.

In many regards useful and insightful, in others too much emphasis on formative years as being the primary cause of infidelity. Needs more emphasis on the spiritual and the moral compass we should all have.

Sheesh, going through this as the betrayed spouse is one of the most difficult things I have or will ever go through. This book spoke to me and provided me with insight and guidance on how to move forward. Luckily, I have a spouse who is willing to do whatever it takes to win me back - that made it slightly easier. This book was helpful during the process of rebuilding and recovery.

This Book has really all the answers one is looking for. If you haven't read this book, you ready don't know what you are missing. Although I got this book because I had an affair, I wish I had read it before I did. I recommend this book for everyone to read, not only for those who have affairs. After the Affair opens you eyes to how to have a great relationship with your partners. I rate this book with the highest Rate Plus.......

This book was recommended to me by my therapist for my brother, as he and his girlfriend were in the middle of a difficult time due to something that was along the lines of an affair (something that happened before they were together but still had an impact like that of a full blown affair). He ended up reading some of the book and then leaving it for her to read, and after she read it nothing short of a miracle happened. She made the critical turn-around of making the decision to work on the relationship. They also attended couples and individual counseling so this book would likely be a great supplement to in-person counseling. I mentioned to my therapist that the few passages I did read before giving it to my brother were insightful and he lent me his copy. I am reading it now and it is helping me to address certain relationship issues such as trust, vulnerability, and reconciling past traumas. In a nutshell, this book can help a broad array of individuals and can address issues that aren't even a classic affair; that is pretty powerful. I would highly recommend it!

This book is both thorough and concise while delving into very painful subject matter. It was recommended to us by a marriage counselor just days after my husband confessed to his infidelity. I have to say that as the "hurt partner" (i.e. the book's term for the betrayed spouse), I at first could not stomach the way the author insists that both spouses must face the role they played in allowing the marriage to break down to the point that there was enough room for a third person to worm her way into my husband's affections. I set the book aside in somewhat of a huff. Now, after several weeks (two months plus) of intensive individual counseling, plus loads of truly earnest contrition on my husband's part (he ended the relatively short affair before confessing it to me--I was completely blindsided)--I've picked the book back up and found it to be invaluable.

When I had calmed down from the initial shock of my spouse's confession, which took several weeks for me and may take other betrayed spouses longer, I could accept the premise that, while I was not to blame for the affair, i was responsible for my half/portion of the marriage having gone off track. It took some time for me to see the difference between the two facts. Once I did, I could read the book with an open mind.

The book seems to draw on a lot of the same ideas put forth by Harville Hendrix in his books. That was helpful, as my husband's therapist uses hendrix' philosophy a lot.

As the hurt partner I found this book very helpful. It was very difficult reading how my husband could be struggling giving up the affair person, but it's an aspect that affects some waywards. I highly recommend that both partners read this. My only disagreement is the justifications for not telling the hurt partner. The hurt partner should not be treated a fool.

This book was very helpful to read. I understand now that my reaction to the situation was not crazy, nor am I going crazy. It also helped me to understand that my spouse's response to everything was not meant to minimize my feelings. I haven't read anything like this before, but it was very helpful.

It is clearly a very thoughtful and well written book. The author strives to present both a logical, non-judgemental, and humane approach to the consequences of an affair. It helped me to better understand the dynamics of motives and potential results of actions that affect both the hurt partner and the unfaithful partner.

Yes, I recommend it!

This book helped me deal with how to move forward and the reasons why my husband may have cheated. I wish he would finish the book and tell me what I am asking for. I do feel that the book helped me realize that I am not alone and I am normal in my processing my husband's whoring. I do still feel, 7 months later that I need a divorce because after seeing someone else for 4 years, he doesn't respect the vows he took when we were married. I would like to work on us, but not until we start back at zero and I can make my own choices.

There are all types of "affairs", but this book addresses the short-term, physical affair. I kept hoping it would address longer term, emotional affairs and deceptions and how to recover from that. It is good at what it does.

Absolutely wonderful information on what unfortunately these things happen. My boyfriend and I have really used alot of this information and has applied it to our daily lives. It's still a working progress with our relationship however definitely a lot of inside scoop on the inner thoughts of an affair.

I purchased this book as a counselor, it has helped me better understand what couples and individuals go through after an affair. I have learned so much from this book, both on a personal and professional level. My clients have been able to relate to it and was definitely worth the purchase.

Absolutely wonderful information on what unfortunately these things happen. My boyfriend and I have really used alot of this information and has applied it to our daily lives. It's still a working progress with our relationship however definitely a lot of inside scoop on the inner thoughts of an affair.

I purchased this book as a counselor, it has helped me better understand what couples and individuals go through after an affair. I have learned so much from this book, both on a personal and professional level. My clients have been able to relate to it and was definitely worth the purchase.

This is easy to understand and apply the techniques, however it did not work for my situation. The book Love Languages worked better because we were able to identify what needs were not being met. This book is meant for those that already know what they want crom a partner. My husband and I did not.

There are so many books on the subject -- so many observations, so many opinions but this book approaches the subject in a clear and insightful manner. Great book. By the way it was a present that I read before giving it to a person who needed to read more than I did.

This book was really helpful if you find yourself in this situation. Told from both prospectives, the hurt one and the one who does the hurting
It explains why these things happen and how to move past it to save the relationship if that is what you want. It certainly helped me and my misbehaving husband

Excellent. Helpful. Concrete. Concise. Non-judgemental and accepting. I am not alone, and there is real hope. We have decided to each read and then talk through the book chapter by chapter and I have no doubt about how restorative that process will be. This book kept popping up as the one to read and I too pass that along. Thank you, Dr. Spring.