An Empath's Guide to Evading Relationships That Drain You and Restoring Your Health and Power

Excellent book! At first I thought it might not be a good fit, but I was soon proven wrong. It is very eye opening, encouraging, validating and self empowering. Giving your love and life away to ones with no appreciation or regard or recipricocity or even RECOGNITION of what you've done/shared is a waste of the valuable gift if time and the joys USUALLY associated with serving others. This book helps you recognize it isn't you with the problem after all, which is the first place empaths go, lol. And then you are given back your sense of good self to recover, grow and avoid repeating past mistakes. Balance!

Some provocative ideas and lenses to look through regarding what I would call post traumatic patterns of making oneself safe by dominating others, or making oneself safe by being complicit with being dominated by others. The lens of the sociopathic narcissist feeding off the poor defenseless empath, while tempting for us empaths who have been spun and spun by those "vampires" in our lives is a lens that brings forward the polarities of us and them, judgment and characterization, self- righteousness and social violence, none of which I actually want to create in my life.

I resonated with the notion of offering Divine love and not engaging in what domestic violence prevention folks would call the "Rescue Triangle" aka "Trauma Triangle" or "Drama Triangle" with people who are socially violent (vampiric) or dominating to me. However much of the book felt to me like it was being written within that consciousness of saviors, victims and dominators. And the only way out is out and she does talk about that part very well and gives great ideas and advice for certain situations along these lines. I think Christiane's languaging of her ideas is often spoken as assertions that assume the other agrees with her, or that there is only one valid interpretation- hers. Since I often actually see things a little different way- this was an experience of nah ah, at various points in the book for me. Value doesn't mean I agree with everything- still stirred some useful and valuable thinking for me.

The notion that people who I do for that do not observe reciprocity in ways that feel balanced to me and throw tantrums when the answer is no do not suffer or spend energy thinking how to reconcile about these rifts in the relationship the way I do, has been a helpful idea for me. Allows me to just disengage with the attempts to please someone who remains displeased as a strategy of domination. My point is- its still worth reading just please do so with your critical thinking and unity cap also on. I don't believe we need more categories of us and them or psychologizing ways of coping with this very difficult and traumatizing world, nor pejorative disease or nicknames.

In The Body Keeps the Score, Van Kolk discusses how trauma impacts brain function which impacts behavior and coping skills. He rightly points out that to discuss trauma without accounting for societal aspects that create or exacerbate it misses critical aspects of the topic. I believe we are responsible for our actions whether we are in a trauma reaction or not when we perform them. To discuss these trauma adaptations of "narcissism" as if people were born that way and that is the only self available to them to bring forward and that is who they ARE and the rest of us should just avoid them is a message I was left with that didn't feel authentic nor accurate to my own experience and interpretations.

Dr Northrup!! You have out done yourself, which is no easy task! What a powerfully moving and enlightening book. The beginning was full of very valuable information on identifying people/ things that drain me. The end was so enspiring , so clear on the role of lightworkers, I felt your words to my very core. Thank you for all you have done to heal & uplift us . Carrie - formally of allegany ny , right down the road :)

This is an excellent overview of a slippery subject. It gave me solid ideas & insights into a problem I’ve grappled with for years now. I have such peace & manage my stress much easier now that I clearly get what’s going on.

Good information and ‘in touch’ but I kept having doubts about it. Sometimes I think people who are not empaths will claim to be only so they can mask their insecurities with a false morality. Therefore, the labeling in this book bothers me. Acting a victim is also an act of war. But maybe this is really what readers want? Other than that, it’s a decent book. Easy weekend read.

I just started this today, and wow, my whole life makes so much more sense. I knew I was an empath, but the description of how we let others subtly control our lives was uncanny. Thank you, Dr. Northrup for this book. It will no doubt be life changing for so many.

As some others note, this book lacks depth and research. I have benefited from this author’s books in the past, but having gone through therapy myself I just didn’t learn much from this one. It might be beneficial for people just becoming aware of “energy vampires” and how to deal with their antics. Just didn’t have enough “meat” for me!

I wish I had read the reviews first. The psychology in the book was interesting, but I couldn't stand the New Age mumbo-jumbo that constantly gets in the way of the points about narcissists. I got so disgusted with the constant references to the New Age practices of the author that I had to stop reading it and purchase another book that was purely psychological. I deleted it from my Kindle library and would not recommend it to anyone.

I admire Dr. Northrup and bought the book on that premise. However, for me this book is written without enough depth and research. It just seems to go around and around in circles, repeating information that has appeared over and over in other publications. The best part of the book is the title, it is catchy and portrays a message all on it's own. I would not recommend this book.

I purchased this in the kindle format and returned it. I had purchased it after listening to an interview where Dr. Northrup talked about this book. She helped me realize I have been in a toxic relationship and end it. However when I got the book. I was offended by the good/evil mindset. empaths being all good and the energy vampires being all the bad. Each born this way. Which I just do not believe. Please take with a grain of salt.

I received an early copy so I could interview Dr. Northrup for my podcast, Her Rules Radio. It has immediately become my top book for 2018! I handed it to my husband as soon as I was done, and we eagerly discussed how energy vampires had impacted our lives. Now we had deeper understanding and tools to handle them.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who suspects an energy vampire in their life, or who is trying to heal the damage that results from being entangled with one.

I love this book! Dr. Northrup describes energy vampires and how to deal with them in extremely helpful detail. And while victims of energy vampires certainly include both men and women, women make up the far greater share. I see this book as part of the amazing women’s empowerment wave that’s cresting now. It gives women some valuable and much-needed help in seeing the truth and stepping into their power.

LOVE CHRISTIANE - BIG BUNCHES OF BANANA HUGS!
She has done it again - every person, especially empaths need to buy this book -
Dr. Northrup really has an indepth understanding and educated perspective on all aspects of selfish toxic individuals who
can literally destroy your health. Having the added benefit of being a Medical expert but also a very successful advanced soul Master teacher with highly sensitive super traits herself - she once again breaks through old archaic paradigms and gives
us a roadmap on how to discern and dodge energy vampires. I applaud Christiane for being a Truth Teller and a Wild woman who dances with Wolves! LOVE!

Wow! This book is life altering. I was skeptical to the term at first, and Dr. Northrup describes exactly why that would be: empaths want to see the best in people, and couldn't possibly view anyone as a vampire. Yet when we look at behavioral patterns, it's all there. One's greatest gifts can also be taken advantage of, and preyed upon. I'm still digesting this powerhouse.

I was cautious about buying the book. The title seemed a little intense. (I had just finished reading Brene Brown’s book which mentions the importance of not dehumanizing people- and making a “vampire” category for people seemed like a dehumanizing stretch). HOWEVER, Dr. Northrup does an amazing job at making this analogy work for her purpose. I really enjoyed the book; and then I bought the audiobook so that I can listen to it on the way to work. I am a school teacher and unfortunately my work often brings me in contact with people who present “energy vampire” qualities. I love my job and therefore my choice is to use the many strategies described in this book to help protect and strenghten myself so I can continue to do my important work while keeping myself healthy. This book gives me hope that we can still support the people around us, without enabling them to “suck the life blood” from us.

This is such an important topic and Dr. Northrup is changing the world by writing about vampires...many others like myself am sure have encountered these people, but never before have I had such clear, wise counsel to know how to deal with such people by understanding their strategies first. Not pleasant, but necessary in this world. Five stars!

As a highly sensitive person, I am so grateful to Dr. Northrup for addressing particular vulnerabilities of people like me in this book. What I learned is helpful on so many levels––recognizing the situation and taking action in the moment, healing past wounds that contribute to vulnerability, and self-protection going forward. Dr. Northrup's strong perspective on the role of empaths who are lightworkers now was particularly resonant for me. Solely from reading her words, I was energized enough to overcome a state of fatigue and do things I hadn't had the energy for, just moments prior to reading. I felt this experience was a powerful direct demonstration of the truth in her words, and I definitely recommend this book.

Dr. Northrup is amazing on her radio show & what a treat to read her take on the Empath/Narcissist relationship! In a nutshell, she validates the nuttiness of this dynamic & provides a lot of validation & healing on the empathy side. Just let go & enjoy the read!

This is such an important topic and Dr. Northrup is changing the world by writing about vampires...many others like myself am sure have encountered these people, but never before have I had such clear, wise counsel to know how to deal with such people by understanding their strategies first. Not pleasant, but necessary in this world. Five stars!

As a highly sensitive person, I am so grateful to Dr. Northrup for addressing particular vulnerabilities of people like me in this book. What I learned is helpful on so many levels––recognizing the situation and taking action in the moment, healing past wounds that contribute to vulnerability, and self-protection going forward. Dr. Northrup's strong perspective on the role of empaths who are lightworkers now was particularly resonant for me. Solely from reading her words, I was energized enough to overcome a state of fatigue and do things I hadn't had the energy for, just moments prior to reading. I felt this experience was a powerful direct demonstration of the truth in her words, and I definitely recommend this book.

Dr. Northrup is amazing on her radio show & what a treat to read her take on the Empath/Narcissist relationship! In a nutshell, she validates the nuttiness of this dynamic & provides a lot of validation & healing on the empathy side. Just let go & enjoy the read!

I have read everything Dr. Northrup has written over the decades. I was so happy to find someone with actual credentials who believed through evidence what I felt I knew. This book is for everyone. Once you learn how to spot an energy vampire and what to do about them your life will change incredibly for the better. I know first hand.