6 Truths We Need to Hear When Measuring Up Leaves Us Falling Behind

Ladies, this book might just be the best purchase you ever make if comparison and jealousy are often a battle! As a kid and then teenager, I often struggled with wanting to look as thin and pretty as my friends but I didn’t know how. Most of my friends had boyfriends before I did, and I felt so left out. It’s easy to think, “Why her?” in circumstances like that. However, this book will bring freedom to you.

Nicki Koziarz writes from the heart, sharing her own struggles and offering grace and truth for us. She’s been through it. She still goes through it. And it’s her experience with this struggle that creates an inviting environment to grow. Hearing from someone who “gets it” is refreshing. Because then you know with certainty that you aren’t crazy.

I wasn’t able to relate with everything in the book, but out of the six truths Nicki shared truth four hit me super hard. There were little things throughout the whole book that spoke to me and helped me. That’s why I’m so convinced it will help you if comparison is a thorn in your side.

There are many stories in the Bible where things weren’t fair. Nicki chose to use Leah and Rachel and wow! That story stirs up so much emotion in me. Anger toward Laban. Deep hurt for Leah. Disappointment in both ladies for their actions toward one another. Nothing about this story could be considered fair or just. Yet, it is what it is. They couldn’t change their circumstances much like we can’t change ours.

You don’t have to covet someone else’s circumstances to still struggle with comparison. Sometimes there will be a fleeting thought in my head, like “must be nice she can do that” but it doesn’t stay. I actually felt like I have a good grip on comparison. That is, until I read this book. Ladies, this book stepped on my toes in all the right places. It addressed minor things I’ve struggled with, as well as reminded me of some hard truths that I need in this season of life.

Wherever you are in your journey, know that this story is unique to YOU. No one else can do life like you can. No one is able to do what YOU can, exactly how YOU do it. You’re irreplaceable. Don’t let comparison steal that from you. You should love who you are, respect who you used to be, and appreciate the God-given story you possess.

So instead of asking, “Why her?” Ask God, “What can I do today to bring You glory? How may I honor You with my actions and words?” Let Him work through you, dear lady. Go change the world!

I received a free copy of the book from the publisher in return for an honest review of my opinions, which I have done. Thanks!

I have always loved the story of Leah and Rachel. Part of me loves the romance of it. Jacob sees Rachel, immediately knows she’s the one and works fourteen years for her hand. Fourteen years! But the more practical part of me has always sympathized with Leah. What must life have been like being the less beautiful daughter of Laban, the lesser loved wife of Jacob? And what kind of dynamic did these two sisters have?

That’s the heart of Nikki Koziarz’s Why Her? As women, we have a tendency to look at others and wonder “Why don’t I have that…” Doesn’t matter what your “that” is: family, home, job, etc. There’s most likely something you’ve coveted in a friend, a family member, a coworker, etc.

Through the story of Leah and Rachel, Koziarz uncovers six truths to help us with the temptation of comparison. Truths which help identify the root of the problem such as you don’t see the whole story and it’s okay to not be okay.

Why Her? tackles an issue many women have in this day of posting the best of our lives online through social media. It reminds us that the big picture is in God’s hands.

Disclosure statement:
I receive complimentary books from publishers, publicists, and/or authors, including NetGalley. I am not required to write positive reviews. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.

Nicki Koziarz’s book “Why Her?: 6 Truths We Need to Hear When Measuring Up Leaves Us Falling Behind” is for anyone and everyone. I don’t think there is a woman anywhere who can say the comparison trap doesn’t touch her. We are all prone to those thoughts that creep into our minds, telling us we are not enough or cannot compare to someone else. And we’ve all been triggered into a downward spiral of emotion scrolling through the amazingness of everyone else’s lives.

Koziarz presents the fight against comparing ourselves to others in six steps:
1. You need to be honest
2. See it like it really is
3. You don’t always have to be okay
4. You didn’t do anything wrong
5. Her gain is not your loss
6. Let the success of others encourage, not discourage you

And wow, does she ever explain these points. Between the Biblical stories of Leah and Rachel, Esther, and her own life experience, Koziarz does quite a job of spelling out what comparison looks like, how it happens, and how to start fighting it. Reading this book felt like having that hard, but needed, conversation with a good friend. You both know it hurts, but it’s needed.

Although this is a topic I’ve already started to defeat in my life, Koziarz gave some examples and points I didn’t yet realize to help me go even further. And she doesn’t just think up to dealing with comparison, but beyond. How we can turn an initial comparing thought into a learning experience and how we can turn the whole thing around to better the situation for ourselves and the other person.

One of my favorite quotes at the end of the book is also, I think, the main point of the Christian walk. Keep your eyes focused on God:

“The more okay we become with ourselves and with God’s expression of greatness in our lives, the less and less we’ll ask the why her question. Because when you are so busy working on yourself, you don’t have time to be worried about what anyone else is doing. I know this isn’t what social media tells us. It sucks us in, day in and day out. But here’s what I’d say: just don’t let it. Don’t. Turn your phone off, close out your computer tabs, and fall in love with your life again.”

"Why Her?: 6 truths we need to hear when measuring up leaves us falling behind," written by Nicki Koziarz is a such a good women's read. People, especially women it seems, find themselves constantly comparing themselves to others, asking why she looks like this or why does she seem to have the perfect life, while we are facing one battle after another that are constantly wearing us down. This book is divided into 6 sections or truths that each of us needs to be thinking on and constantly remembering. Being honest is one of the truths, and another is knowing that you do not always have to be okay. Seeing things how they are instead of seeing another person's success or win does not mean that you life is awful and that this is a loss to you, but seeing how we all can be successful and content and happy.
Each chapter addresses a specific truth/point. Nicki shares stories, feedback from others and God's truths and promises. There are lists, quotes highlighted in boxes, questions to reflect on and main points reiterated that really reach out and catch the reader's attention and hold it there. The comparison game is so easy to get caught up into and hard to break the cycle of; therefore, this is an excellent book to read to start addressing this.

*Thanks to the B&H/Lifeway Blogger Review Program for the complimentary copy of this book.*

Great book by Nicki Koziark. The book highlights six truths spread over twelve chapters. The truths - (1) You need to be honest, (2) See it like it really is, (3) You don't always have to be okay, (4) You didn't do anything wrong, (5) Her gain is not your loss, (6) Let the success of others encourage not discourage you.
So much truth and encouragement within the pages of this book. So many highlighted texts. Using Rachel and Leah as our main examples of discontent, jealousy and "why her", the author walks with us through the lies that we may believe when we see someone else living out the life we desire. She walks us through the truths we need to rise above these lies and gives us resources and tools to fight against the "why her" moments.
The writer's style is relatable and I enjoyed reading every word even when I felt it hammering at my own guilt. The laying out of her own personal struggles without trying to sugar coat or make it look pretty really drew my heart to her and her message.
I have received a new understanding that I am appreciating and tools that I am trying to use in my life. Practical insight and advice that I can really use. This book is a great read.
I received this book free from NetGalley and B&H Books for my honest opinion.

In Why Her?, Nicki Koziarz asks the question that many of us ask as the title states – Why Her? I don’t doubt it was a challenge decades ago knowing that everyone raves about your friend’s casserole or you see the lovely roses in your neighbor’s carefully curated garden, but now we “contend” with millions of others with a peek into their lives through Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and Pinterest. Nicki digs into the story of two sisters in the Bible – Rachel and Leah. She shared 6 truths we need to hear when measuring up leaves us falling behind (like title tagline states ;p). Two chapters each help us to understand one of the truths. I love the “This & That” section at the end of the chapter where there is a question we need to wrestle with and some encouraging words to remember.

"We will not let this struggle wreck us. We will learn to love this life again that God has entrusted to us. I will be the best me. You will be the best you. And she will be the best her. Because truth, like always, will set us free. And because free women don’t need to measure up to anybody. Not even her."

I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review. I loved this book! I just read Nicki's book "5 Habits of a Woman Who Doesn't Quit" not long ago. I loved her style of writing, so I was super excited for this book. Nicki has a way of writing that is lovely!! It is easy to understand, it goes back and forth between the bible story and characters it is based on to stories from her real life that are so easy to relate to. She has a way of bringing the lessons from the bible into our modern day world and providing us practical ways to apply these truths to our life today. Excellent book and I cannot recommend reading this enough. All woman can get something from this book. Most likely after reading it you will walk away finding ways you are comparing yourself to others and coping with it that you never even realized you were doing. Don't miss out, you want to buy this book!!! I have to add that even if I had not been given a complimentary copy, I would absolutely have purchased this book anyways.

Nicki Koziars uses her honest and humorous style of writing to challenge women to leave behind the act of comparison and instead find our joy and identity in Christ. Rachel writes in a style that seems familiar and warm, like you are sitting with a close friend, having sincere conversation. An author that can make me laugh and cause me to underline multiple lines on a page is the perfect combination. Nicki explores the relationship between Rachel & Leah, sisters from the book of Genesis, who spent a lot of time comparing themselves to one another.

Not only do I enjoy Nicki's writing style, I really like the way that the book is laid out. I appreciate how she breaks the book into 6 truths, making it easier to apply what the reader digests. There are areas where the reader is asked to open their Bible and dive into scripture, which is so important. While an individual can read this book on their own, I think it would make an excellent small group study.

Comparison brings out our competitive streak, which eats away at our contentment, which then starts to destroy our confidence, until we’re fighting to keep up with an unrealistic standard.
~Nicki Koziarz

Why Her? Not only is this the title of Nicki Koziarz’s new book, it’s also a question we ask, consciously or unconsciously, when things don’t appear to be going our way. Meanwhile, others around us seem to be having all the success.

In her new book, Nicki uses the account of Rachel and Leah to bring insight into how the comparison trap clouds the truth and steals our joy and contentment. Each chapter addresses a different “Why Her?” scenario and clarifies the truth of the situation. At the conclusion of each chapter Nicki poses a poignant question to take us deeper into our journey of self- reflection and healing.

Some of my favorite chapters in Why Her? include statements about how “you don’t always have to be okay”, and “sometimes you didn’t do anything wrong”. No matter what stage of life you are in, I believe there are truths in this book for most women. We no longer need to be stuck in the comparison trap. It’s time to step out and embrace the realities of our situations and the success of others.

Why Her? Would make a great gift for any mom on your Mother’s Day list this week. In addition, the book would make a great small group study. Also, as with the last book that I reviewed on BarbDouma.com, I would recommend this for the young ladies in your life.
Why Her?: 6 Truths We Need to Hear When Measuring Up Leaves Us Falling Behind
Thank you to B&H Publishing / Lifeway for the opportunity to review this charming book!

*I received a copy of Why Her? from B&H Publishers in exchange for my honest review of the book. I received no other compensation from B&H Publishers or Lifeway.

Too many decisions made because I believed I wasn’t as good as “her”. Not pretty enough, not smart enough, not anything enough. Learning to stop the comparison trap and accept we were all made unique for different purposes takes time, but this book is a great resource for a head start on overcoming comparison. Nicki weaves her personal story along with the Biblical story of Rachel and Leah to point out truths to help you overcome comparison in your own life. You’ll also learn about Fred and Helen and the Fixer Upper Farm, which is part of Nicki’s journey and life. Most of all, you’ll hear from the heart of a woman who has also has to overcome the comparison trap and the feelings of less than. Learn the steps to walking out getting rid of the comparison trap in your own life, or give this book to a young woman struggling with comparison to help her on her journey.

Written from a loving, friend-like perspective, Nicki Koziarz invites you into a wonderfully lifegiving message.

Sharing truth and hope on the topic of comparison, which I'm sure all women can relate to, you will find common ground and relatable topics discussed in this book. This book is packed full of Scriptural truth on this topic, as well as powerful encouragement to be found in each chapter. You will find yourself marking up your book with notes and exclamation marks galore!

I highly recommend this book to all women, and think that all women, regardless of age, season of life, etc. would do well to read this book.

*I received a copy of this book from the publisher in return for an honest review. All thoughts, opinions, and ramblings are my own.*

Why Her? is packed with strategies for identifying what can cause us to spiral into feelings of being “less than” and steps we can take to confront these feelings by aligning ourselves with our true identity, in Christ.

If you have ever had feelings of inferiority that caused you to break into a sweat as you walked into a meeting or event….this book is for you. If you have ever thought “Why me, Lord? “ , or even more, “Why not me, Lord?”, this book is for you. If you have lived up until now feeling as though “she” has “it” or is more special/blessed/loved/gifted than you are… or just does everything better than you, this book is for you.

Nicki breaks down the story of Biblical sisters Leah & Rachel and their struggles with comparison into six truths to help transform our thinking from “Why her?” so we can focus our identity on who we are in Christ and His special purpose for us.

An easy read Why Her? would be a great Bible study or book club read and provide lots of opportunity for good discussion.

In her second book, Why Her, Nicki uses her trademark humor and honest vulnerability, to unpack the 6 truths that will help us when comparing ourself to others. With personal stories and biblical wisdom we learn:

-“Comparison is a battle to see whose truth-ours or God’s-we’ll allow to rule our thoughts and actions.”

-“Comparison can cloud our thinking and cause us to write stories that are not even happening.”

-“But when life breaks us down, we always have two options: Bitterness or Breakthrough”

-“We have to trust God so much that if He doesn’t give it to us, we don’t want it.”

-“God doesn’t put a limit on how many people are allowed to do things important to His purpose.”

-“Part of what happens when I let her success encourage me, not discourage me, is this: I discover myself. I find out who I really am.”

So much truth and wisdom packed into this quick read!

If comparison is something you struggle with then please get this book. I’m sure it will encourage you the way it did me.

(I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.)

Nicki Koziarz’s latest release, “Why Her?” encourages us to dig deep into our souls to uncover why we always struggle with feelings of inadequacies when we compare ourselves to other women around us. The story of Rachel and Leah demonstrates that comparison and jealousy was even a problem in the Bible! Nicki intermingles her sense of humor with thought provoking questions to help us discover the root of feeling inferior to other women. Nicki provides readers with six truths that we can use to guide us to see what God’s purpose for our own lives might be. “While dozens of things can try making you feel inferior to the woman ahead of you, your God-assignment doesn’t have to be one of them.” We discover while reading to not judge one’s success against your own. You have no idea how long that person has been working to get where they are today. “Don’t compare your chapter two with someone else’s chapter twelve.” Step into this book today to help you clearly see that “you are the only you”…and you’re beautiful!

I received a complimentary copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

Nicki Koziarz is one of the favorite authors. Her first book 5 Habits of a Woman Who Doesn’t Quit is a book I love and lend out constantly. I was over the moon excited to hear she was writing another book. Nicki did not disappoint! Why Her is came into my life at the perfect time and I could not put it down. Why Her beautifully weaves comparison into the story of sisters Rachel and Leah. Comparison is one of my biggest struggles. I am truly blessed by the life God has given me, but all too often I look at what “she” has and think my life would be richer if I had that too. Nicki’s open, honest words have created a heart shift in me. God uniquely made me to fill a special place in His kingdom. Though my path may be similar to other women, I have my own unique part to play. I have also gained more insight into the story of Rachel and Leah. As a romantic, I took Rachel's side, true love hindered by a pesky sibling. Nicki has helped me see that Leah lived a difficult life, richly blessed by God. Rachel and Leah could have been allies, working towards building a better future only they allowed comparison to produce misery in their lives. I highly recommend Why Her. It has been so eye-opening for me. I've got a new attitude of gratitude and a feeling of compassion for my fellow sisters in Christ. We are all one, working to better the Kingdom.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.

Nicki has really spoken to my heart through Why Her! She uses the biblical story of sisters Rachel and Leah to enlighten readers on the truths we need to hear about comparing ourselves to others. She introduces the idea that comparing oneself to another “positions” me and the other person, making someone the winner and the other the loser. After reading this I realized how I’ve allowed my thinking to cause feelings of being the loser in one of my friendships because my friend (the winner!) is more advanced in our career field than I am. That’s a game I don’t want to play any longer!

Nicki took me deeper into understanding how my asking the Why Her question was hurting my heart and my relationships. She presents 6 truths in this book that have helped me to take hold of my comparison thinking and see it for what it is, lies! She does this with gentleness, like a close friend helping you to see things more clearly.

I appreciated the carefully written reflection questions along with bible verses for study at the close of each chapter, this took me deeper into understanding this area of my thinking and working toward positive changes! This is not a read it and forget it book! You will want to share what you are learning with the people you love and are in relationship with! I’m also excited about the Rachel and Leah bible study that will accompany this book! Can’t wait to grab some friends and get started!

I was privy to an advanced copy of this book because I jumped on Nicki’s Why Her book launch team. This is my personal and honest review that I wanted to share with you. ☺

How many times in your life have you thought, “Why does she get all the breaks?” Or perhaps, “Why are her baked goods (crafts, decorating schemes, dinner parties, fill in the blank) so much better than mine?” And then there is the ever popular, “Must be nice to be able to . . . .”

We fall prey to the comparison game way too often. And we never stop to realize that “she” is going through the exact same comparison struggle. Let Nicki guide you through steps you can take to defeat the comparison lies you battle. Using the biblical story of Rachel and Leah, found in the book of Genesis, Nicki demonstrates just how destructive comparing ourselves to others can be. Nicki also uses snippets from her own life, both as a single woman and as a married woman with children.

With her trademark wit, willingness to show others her own vulnerabilities, and a deep abiding faith, Nicki has once again written not only a good story, but a “self-help” guide that relies on biblical Truth to show us how to live a more fulfilling life.

I was given a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

This amazing book unpacks six truths about comparison using the backdrop of the story of Jacob, Rachel and Leah. (Genesis 29-31). Talk about a comparison trap! 
                Six Truths:
Truth 1: You Need  to Be Honest
Truth 2: See It Like It Really Is
Truth 3: You Don’t Always Have to Be Okay
Truth 4: You Didn’t Do Anything Wrong
Truth 5: Her Gain Is Not Your Loss
Truth 6: Let the Success of Others Encourage,    Not Discourage

Nicki has a gift for keeping life real as she shares from her “Why Her” seasons. I have laughed (at times out loud!), nodded my head in agreement and pondered these truths in my own
Thank you B&H publishing for providing me and the rest of Nickis’s Launch Team a copy of the book!!!

In Why Her Nicki tackles the issue of comparison that many Christian women secretly struggle with. In this very vulnerable book the author takes us through six truths to help women find freedom from the comparison trap. The entire book was very beneficial to me but the truths that impacted me most was “Truth One: You need to be honest, Truth Five: Her Gain is not your lost and Truth Six: Let the success of others encourage, not discourage you.” The author uses the biblical story of Rachel and Leah to help us navigate though walking in freedom from comparison. This book is something that you will want to savor because it’s rich with godly principles and scripture. This book would also be a great study for women’s bible study because the principles are worth sharing and discussing.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.

If we are honest with ourselves comparison is something we all struggle with. We are constantly trying to measure up to her. Maybe not always consciously, but it’s happening nonetheless. Nicki’s book helped shine a light onto some comparison issues I have. Her approach in the book is to share her story in a way that is very loving and gracious. So that you feel loved on as you journey with her.

One of my favorite quotes from the book:
“We have to find contentment with who we are without becoming complacent in who we are becoming.”

Thank you Nicki for helping me to be the best me I can be!

Highly recommend for all woman. This book gives a clear biblical process to change our thinking when it comes to comparison. And what woman doesn’t struggle with comparison. I love how Nicki expounds upon story of Rachel and Leah in the Nicki and pulls out 6 truths for us to apply to our lives. One of my favorite things about Nickis writing is that it is real, practical, down to earth yet profound and enlightening. In this book I saw this story from the Bible in a whole new light and was able to see how it applied directly to my life.

Nicki's writing is immediately personable. She's down to earth and kind, so you don't mind the squirmy vulnerable feeling you might get when you realize that you spend a lot of time doing things because you want others to relate to and treat you like they treat someone else (did you raise your hand and shift a little in your chair along with me?). I never really thought of myself as having chronic trouble with comparison but the more I read the more I see myself in these pages. I am endlessly highlighting and reviewing - I've found so many reminders and mantras to stay grounded and confident in my uniqueness in the stormy seasons of my life.

I am definitely going to keep going back to this book because (as a species) we're not going to be free of comparison anytime soon. So much of the human nature is based on comparison, it's little wonder we have so many divisions among us! This book can help us all to get past the constant urge to look at everyone as competition.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher, B&H, in exchange for my honest review. It was a pleasure to read though and will likely buy copies for important ladies in my life!

Comparison. Why Her? Why not me? We all have done it or said it. Comparing ourselves at some point in our lives to others and even comparing ourselves to ourselves. In Nicki Koziarz's newest book Why Her?, she uses scripture to help us combat comparison through grace and honesty.

Nicki really spoke to my soul through "Why Her?". Not in the way that I compare myself to others, but in a way that I compare myself to my previous self. She opens herself up and shows her own insecurities and rawness which makes her so real. Like she is your best girlfriend and you are talking and praying together.

I love how she uses the Biblical story of Rachael and Leah to guide us through the 6 truths. Showing us that comparison was a struggle from the beginning.

Two of my favorite lines from the book are:

"So we need to remember, when looking at people's lives that appear perfect to us, there's probably a not-so-perfect story happening there that's never going to be told. Because we've all got our ugly. For most us, it's just more hidden than our beautiful". --Wow!!! Makes you really stop and think doesn't it!

"I've found one of the best ways to keep comparison from controlling me is to stay totally focused on what God is doing in and through me, because what He determines to be great is a lot more important than anyone else's interpretation of it". --LOVE IT!!!

I highly recommend this book to women of all ages. I can't wait to read this book again with my daughter and do the Bible study that goes along with it. I can't wait for you to read this book too!

I was given a copy of this book by the publisher for my honest review.

Wow. Don’t let comparison define you. Embrace 6 truths 1. You need to be honest. 2. See it like it really is. 3. You don’t always have to be ok. 4. Sometimes you didn’t do anything wrong. 5. Her gain is not your loss. 6. Let the success of others encourage, not discourage you.
Conquering what comparison can do to your soul is going to look different for you than it will for the woman beside you. Freedom means stepping into the middle of your story, changing it not to look like her but to look like what you believe God has envisioned for you!!

Nicki has really spoken to my heart through Why Her! She uses the biblical story of sisters Rachel and Leah to enlighten readers on the truths we need to hear about comparing ourselves to others. She introduces the idea that comparing oneself to another “positions” me and the other person, making someone the winner and the other the loser. After reading this I realized how I’ve allowed my thinking to cause feelings of being the loser in one of my friendships because my friend (the winner!) is more advanced in our career field than I am. That’s a game I don’t want to play any longer!

Nicki took me deeper into understanding how my asking the Why Her question was hurting my heart and my relationships. She presents 6 truths in this book that have helped me to take hold of my comparison thinking and see it for what it is, lies! She does this with gentleness, like a close friend helping you to see things more clearly.

I appreciated the carefully written reflection questions along with bible verses for study at the close of each chapter, this took me deeper into understanding this area of my thinking and working toward positive changes! This is not a read it and forget it book! You will want to share what you are learning with the people you love and are in relationship with! I’m also excited about the Rachel and Leah bible study that will accompany this book! Can’t wait to grab some friends and get started!

I was privy to an advanced copy of this book because I jumped on Nicki’s Why Her book launch team. This is my personal and honest review that I wanted to share with you. ☺

I am a book reviewer for NetGalley, which means I received this book for free in exchange for a review.

If you’re familiar with the Bible, you might remember the story of Rachel and Leah. Both sisters (in a kind of complicated turn of events) end up married to the same man – Jacob. What ensues is what can only be described as a battle for dominance, involving as many babies as possible.

Koziarz explores the intense feelings of bitterness, self-doubt, and jealousy that both Leah and Rachel must have felt, and through their story, she explores how we can deal with similar feelings, too. (Minus the popping-out-babies competition. And the polygamy. Or at least I hope so.)

I’ll admit now – because, you know, honesty is good – I do sometimes struggle with this. It’s taken me years to combat the feeling of immediate self-doubt when I learn of someone else’s victory, particularly if I’m not in a good place emotionally. So I was intrigued when I was accepted to review this book.

Koziarz identifies the struggles that come from a warped perspective of our identity, and how the same core issues that we face today can be found in Rachel and Leah’s story, too. The feeling of inadequacy. The way we so easily place ourselves in competition with others. How, instead of celebrating when another woman succeeds, we find ourselves asking ‘how come she gets that? Why her and not me?’

She offers six truths to reflect on when you are asking the question ‘why her?’:

You Need To Be Honest
‘We love to shout our successes but seldom show our secret sorrows.’ Why is that? How has the advent of social media enabled us to gloss over our troubles and present a glossier, happier side of our lives? How does being pummeled with constant perfection impact us, and how can we be honest in the face of it?

See It Like It Really Is
Building from the first truth, this section explores what the stories we see vs. the stories other women are actually living out day to day. We need to develop the ability to understand – or at least question – what is going on below the surface of it all.

You Don’t Always Have To Be Okay
I particularly enjoyed this chapter. Koziarz has a hearty dislike of the phrase ‘I’m fine!’ which I completely understand. She explains how important it is to learn to just be sad sometimes. To be unafraid of looking weak in front of other people. How important it is to not pretend to be okay when you’re really not. And how to connect with others on a deeper level by keeping an eye on each others’ ‘soul health’. She also explores some ‘soul-care strategies’ that I found useful.

You Didn’t Do Anything Wrong
When we ‘fail’ – when we don’t land that job, when we don’t get that house, when we try to pull something off but we don’t succeed – how should we take it? Koziarz explains that perhaps that house, or job, or situation, was not yours to take in the first place, and how to be okay with that.

Her Gain Is Not Your Loss
I feel like I could have done with tattooing this somewhere on me a few years ago. (Alright, I may have regretted that later on. Which might also be why I don’t trust myself to get a tattoo.) Because how true is this truth? We make the mistake of believing that other people stepping into their calling means there’s less left for you to do. When others win, we all win.

Let The Success Of Others Encourage, And Not Discourage You
In this last section, Koziarz explores how to avoid the feeling of being discouraged by other peoples’ success, particularly if you work or serve in similar areas. Instead, she gives some practical steps as to how you can allow other peoples’ successes to inspire you to move forward in your own calling, instead of feeling threatened.

The whole book was full of ideas for prayer, scriptures to dwell on, and practical exercises. I took a star off because I didn’t find it as easily ‘readable’ as other books I have read recently, but I feel if this is an area you need help with, I’d definitely recommend it.

How many times in your life have you thought, “Why does she get all the breaks?” Or perhaps, “Why are her baked goods (crafts, decorating schemes, dinner parties, fill in the blank) so much better than mine?” And then there is the ever popular, “Must be nice to be able to . . . .”

We fall prey to the comparison game way too often. And we never stop to realize that “she” is going through the exact same comparison struggle. Let Nicki guide you through steps you can take to defeat the comparison lies you battle. Using the biblical story of Rachel and Leah, found in the book of Genesis, Nicki demonstrates just how destructive comparing ourselves to others can be. Nicki also uses snippets from her own life, both as a single woman and as a married woman with children.

With her trademark wit, willingness to show others her own vulnerabilities, and a deep abiding faith, Nicki has once again written not only a good story, but a “self-help” guide that relies on biblical Truth to show us how to live a more fulfilling life.

I was given a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

This amazing book unpacks six truths about comparison using the backdrop of the story of Jacob, Rachel and Leah. (Genesis 29-31). Talk about a comparison trap! 
                Six Truths:
Truth 1: You Need  to Be Honest
Truth 2: See It Like It Really Is
Truth 3: You Don’t Always Have to Be Okay
Truth 4: You Didn’t Do Anything Wrong
Truth 5: Her Gain Is Not Your Loss
Truth 6: Let the Success of Others Encourage,    Not Discourage

Nicki has a gift for keeping life real as she shares from her “Why Her” seasons. I have laughed (at times out loud!), nodded my head in agreement and pondered these truths in my own
Thank you B&H publishing for providing me and the rest of Nickis’s Launch Team a copy of the book!!!

In Why Her Nicki tackles the issue of comparison that many Christian women secretly struggle with. In this very vulnerable book the author takes us through six truths to help women find freedom from the comparison trap. The entire book was very beneficial to me but the truths that impacted me most was “Truth One: You need to be honest, Truth Five: Her Gain is not your lost and Truth Six: Let the success of others encourage, not discourage you.” The author uses the biblical story of Rachel and Leah to help us navigate though walking in freedom from comparison. This book is something that you will want to savor because it’s rich with godly principles and scripture. This book would also be a great study for women’s bible study because the principles are worth sharing and discussing.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.

Nicki opens up about her comparison struggles in a way ALL women can relate to. Young or old, married or single, the truths in this book will help anyone. I love Nicki’s honesty and the way she breaks things down. She makes it easy to understand and apply. This book has encouraged me to cheer on other women, instead of allowing jealousy to take over. It’s helped me remember that God has given me MY unique gifts and talents to accomplish His purpose. It’s made me more appreciative of these gifts, too. This is the kind of book I can read over and over and learn something new from it each time. Nicki also gives practical tools to apply everyday, especially in our comparison struggles, including affirmations, Bible verses, prayers and so much more.

Highly recommend for all woman. This book gives a clear biblical process to change our thinking when it comes to comparison. And what woman doesn’t struggle with comparison. I love how Nicki expounds upon story of Rachel and Leah in the Nicki and pulls out 6 truths for us to apply to our lives. One of my favorite things about Nickis writing is that it is real, practical, down to earth yet profound and enlightening. In this book I saw this story from the Bible in a whole new light and was able to see how it applied directly to my life.

Nicki's writing is immediately personable. She's down to earth and kind, so you don't mind the squirmy vulnerable feeling you might get when you realize that you spend a lot of time doing things because you want others to relate to and treat you like they treat someone else (did you raise your hand and shift a little in your chair along with me?). I never really thought of myself as having chronic trouble with comparison but the more I read the more I see myself in these pages. I am endlessly highlighting and reviewing - I've found so many reminders and mantras to stay grounded and confident in my uniqueness in the stormy seasons of my life.

I am definitely going to keep going back to this book because (as a species) we're not going to be free of comparison anytime soon. So much of the human nature is based on comparison, it's little wonder we have so many divisions among us! This book can help us all to get past the constant urge to look at everyone as competition.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher, B&H, in exchange for my honest review. It was a pleasure to read though and will likely buy copies for important ladies in my life!

Once again, Nicki has spoken words that we as women struggle with more often than we would like to admit, or sometimes don't really even know with 'what' we are struggling with, until someone puts it into words! One of the chapters had me reading over and over....'How's Your Soul?'....I really loved that she made it very clear....You don't always have to be okay!!! WOW!! ... but on that note.... It's also essential for us to know how to keep our souls well!! Lets just say I've begun looking for those clues to identify why my 'soul' may feel unwell. Another topic that really hit home with me...."You didn't do anything wrong"....WOW!! Sometimes, it's NOT that we have messed up an opportunity, or that we are doing the 'wrong thing', but sometimes, it just may not be OUR thing just yet,...we may need more time to study, or learn more of how to best do what we feel called to do. But it still hurts that someone else succeeded where we did not!! It's not about what we did 'wrong', but that it's someone else's opportunity, not ours, at least, not YET!! This is a great read for women of all ages to help guide them through thoughts of comparison and struggles with self doubt, and Nicki puts these words into REAL FEELINGS that we can all understand and relate to!! A wonderful read!! I highly recommend this for women of all ages!! Kimberly Davis Freeman

Do you ever compare yourself to others? Nicki's new book "Why Her" gives us several topics about dealing with comparison as we compare ourselves to others so often. She is very open and honest with her writing and dealing with these issues through six different ways we can learn how to deal with this struggle many of us have. Nicki uses the characters from the Old Testament, Rachel and Leah and how they compared to each other and made it very clear to understand. I definitely learned alot from this book and would highly recommend it.
I was given an advance copy to read and give an honest review.

Comparison. Why Her? Why not me? We all have done it or said it. Comparing ourselves at some point in our lives to others and even comparing ourselves to ourselves. In Nicki Koziarz's newest book Why Her?, she uses scripture to help us combat comparison through grace and honesty.

Nicki really spoke to my soul through "Why Her?". Not in the way that I compare myself to others, but in a way that I compare myself to my previous self. She opens herself up and shows her own insecurities and rawness which makes her so real. Like she is your best girlfriend and you are talking and praying together.

I love how she uses the Biblical story of Rachael and Leah to guide us through the 6 truths. Showing us that comparison was a struggle from the beginning.

Two of my favorite lines from the book are:

"So we need to remember, when looking at people's lives that appear perfect to us, there's probably a not-so-perfect story happening there that's never going to be told. Because we've all got our ugly. For most us, it's just more hidden than our beautiful". --Wow!!! Makes you really stop and think doesn't it!

"I've found one of the best ways to keep comparison from controlling me is to stay totally focused on what God is doing in and through me, because what He determines to be great is a lot more important than anyone else's interpretation of it". --LOVE IT!!!

I highly recommend this book to women of all ages. I can't wait to read this book again with my daughter and do the Bible study that goes along with it. I can't wait for you to read this book too!

I was given a copy of this book by the publisher for my honest review.

Wow. Don’t let comparison define you. Embrace 6 truths 1. You need to be honest. 2. See it like it really is. 3. You don’t always have to be ok. 4. Sometimes you didn’t do anything wrong. 5. Her gain is not your loss. 6. Let the success of others encourage, not discourage you.
Conquering what comparison can do to your soul is going to look different for you than it will for the woman beside you. Freedom means stepping into the middle of your story, changing it not to look like her but to look like what you believe God has envisioned for you!!

I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.

Nicki opens up about her comparison struggles in a way ALL women can relate to. Young or old, married or single, the truths in this book will help anyone. I love Nicki’s honesty and the way she breaks things down. She makes it easy to understand and apply. This book has encouraged me to cheer on other women, instead of allowing jealousy to take over. It’s helped me remember that God has given me MY unique gifts and talents to accomplish His purpose. It’s made me more appreciative of these gifts, too. This is the kind of book I can read over and over and learn something new from it each time. Nicki also gives practical tools to apply everyday, especially in our comparison struggles, including affirmations, Bible verses, prayers and so much more.

Comparrison is a struggle for everyone, at one point or another in their lives. It’s one of those things that’s just a battle + sometimes you don’t even realize you are comparing yourself. This book is absolutely a game changer for me + the battle of comparison. Nicki’s words spoke to me as if I was just sitting across from her at her table at the Fixer Upper Farm. The words were honest and raw + everybody should have this book on their Must-Read List {it doesn’t matter if you don’t even have one of those lists} Make this list a priority to read, because I guaranteed it will change your life. I plan on keeping it on my nightstand so when the comparison trap comes creeping back in, I won’t fall back in it.

I am really looking forward to studying this with my online friends at Proverbs 31, starting Monday, April 9th! I received a complimentary advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for an honest review from the publisher, B&H.

Do you compare yourself to others—especially other women? This is common among women today. We compare outfits, hairstyles, vacations, homes, children, and more often than not, we find ourselves on the short end of the stick. Nicki Koziarz’s new book, Why Her, uses the Biblical story of Rachel and Leah to delve into the pitfalls and solutions to the comparison trap. Nicki discusses 6 truths we need to hold onto when comparisons get us down. Using personal stories, Biblical references, and challenging questions, Nicki takes the reader on a journey of self-discovery and a renewal of self-worth.
I found this book engaging and thought provoking. Nicki’s writing style is that of a good friend sitting with you and discussing life over a cup of coffee. Her personal examples are sincere and heartwarming. I would highly recommend this book to every woman!
I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.

I just finished reading “Why Her” and I can honestly say this is one of the best books I’ve ever read on the topic of comparison and competition among women-even women in ministry. Nicki brings a refreshing and light-hearted perspective, while at the same time offering a real and biblical depth as we follow the story of the sisters Rachel and Leah in the Old Testament. I think the thing that stood out to me the most is that while there are several books on this topic, Nicki takes it a step further and peels back the layers of why and how we as women struggle with comparison and feelings of inadequacy or not realizing how God is working in our own individual stories for His glory. Nicki has a way of making you feel like you truly are sitting at her kitchen table over a cup of coffee, and just talking it out – via the pages of her book. She offers much more than spiritually lofty principles and gets right into the issues of the heart – so many practical takeaways for looking honestly within, checking real life attitudes that we all have, and applying practical, spiritual guidance. This quote sums it up: “This uniquely beautiful, unexplainable life that God is building in each of us was never meant to look exactly like someone else’s, regardless of the message our culture shouts at us.”
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.

Nicki Koziarz's "Why Her?" book is packed full of truths about the lies of comparing ourselves with others. Her conversational style of writing makes the reader feel if she is sitting across from Nicki, having an authentic conversation about life. "Why Her?" is difficult to put down! In every chapter, I have underlines and highlights of key points that Nicki spoke directly into my personal life. One of my favorite quotes is "Freedom gives us the grace to keep believing the Lord for good even in the midst of sorrow, even when our experience feels less that what others are seeing. Freedom says we can win, not in spite of or in place of how others are winning, but in ways that assure us God is working His will through us with purpose and personality--a unique journey with Him that is truly incomparable. And refreshingly free." I highly recommend that you buy yourself and your friends copies of "Why Her?"! I received a free complimentary copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.

Every woman, at one time or another, hears a voice inside her head that whispers, "Why her? Why did she get that job? Why did she marry that guy? Why did she find that dream house?" And on, and on, and on... If we allow it, comparison can steal our joy. In this book, Nicki Koziarz examines the struggle of comparison using the story of Rachel and Leah--two sisters whose crazy life is documented in the book of Genesis in the Bible. With honesty and humor, Nicki breaks down the struggle of comparison into six simple yet profound truths. The elements found in Rachel and Leah's story still apply to our modern world, and those truths can shine a light on the lies the woman's heart believes. "We often lose who we are while trying to become someone we aren't" is only one of many nuggets of wisdom in this book. Interested? You should be. This isn't a self-help book or a quick fix book; but if you're looking for something to really show you how to make lasting changes in your perspective, this is the book for you!

The wisdom that Nicki Koziarz shares in Why Her? reaches to the deepest parts of your soul, but it is also practical to your everyday. Who doesn’t need a reminder that when it comes to your soul, “. . . I’m the only one who can take care of it.”

The biggest take-away from Ch. 7, “It’s Not Mine” is where God spoke to Nicki’s heart and told her “This opportunity isn’t your, but – Nicki, you didn’t do anything wrong.” These words will resonate with you if you’ve ever gotten stuck ruminating on situations where you were let down or rejected. When life doesn’t turn out as expected, Nicki gives uses God’s Word to help you put things into a healthy perspective.

Nicki shares her heart and allows herself to be vulnerable with the reader. Her insight will stick with you even after you finish the book.

Nicki Koziarz delivers on all levels with her second book, "Why Her?: 6 Truths We Need to Hear When Measuring Up Leaves Us Falling Behind." Women have been caught in the comparison trap for centuries. Koziarz not only provides the tools to release women from that trap, but does so in a genuine, humorous and insightful way. Using the Biblical story of Leah and Rachel, Koziarz leads readers through six truths to conquer comparison. I appreciated how she used these truths throughout to make her points. I could definitely relate to her points, but also found myself laughing and looking at my life through a new lens. Koziarz writes, "Freedom means stepping into the middle of your story, changing it not to look like her but to look like what you believe God has envisioned for you." Treasures like that are found throughout the book. I would highly recommend "Why Her" and plan on using the Bible study with our women's ministry at church.
I received a complimentary advanced reader copy of this book from the publisher, B&H, in exchange for my honest review.

Nicki has done a fabulous job writing this book about comparison. I didn’t think I did that much comparing until reading this book and realizing, I’m thinking “Why Her” a lot.

“Life is going to try breaking us down. No matter how much we love God, there are going to be people, situations, problems, and heartbreaks that come along which are still incredibly hard to handle. But when life breaks us down, we always have two options. Bitterness or Breakthrough. None of us wants to walk through these painful comparison struggles and end up bitter. We all desire to have breakthrough. But when we’ve experienced a loss of trust, confidence, peace, and relationship, we’ll sometimes do whatever it takes to make ourselves feel okay again. We’ll resort to fighting back, making others pay for what they’ve done to us. We’ll do things that actually work against the breakthrough God wants to give us. In someone's eyes, you'll always be falling behind. But keep your eyes up, you're doing pretty good. And there's a God whose simply crazy about you. “ Nicki Koziarz - “Why Her”

"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." -Galatians 1:10

I received a complimentary book from the publisher for my honest review.

Nicki Koziarz has written another book with life-changing potential. I honestly believe that Satan did so much more than tempt Eve with forbidden fruit... he convinced her that she was no longer good enough & that she would be happier being someone else. We women have been struggling with comparison ever since. Using the story of Leah & Rachel, Nicki shares six truths to help us stop playing the comparison game, learn to be content with our own blessings & even cheer for those who seem to have the things we think we deserve. You'll find yourself saying "me too!" (and sometimes laughing) as Nicki shares her own struggles with comparison. She writes as a trusted friend who wants to come alongside you & help you live victoriously.

Whether you are desperately crying out "why her" or are subtly whispering "must be nice," this book is definitely for you.

I was given a complimentary copy of this book by the publisher in exchange for my honest review.

Comparison is a thief that has tried to destroy us from the beginning of time. Nicki reveals to us six amazing truths through the story of Rachel and Leah that will set us free from falling into the comparison trap. Nicki gives witty insightful advice through her personal testimony as well. I highly recommend this book to anyone who struggles with comparison and face it we all do at some point in time and we might not even realize we are doing it. I am looking forward to doing the proverbs 31 bible study on this life-changing book. Pick up your copy today it's a must have easy read for everyone

The comparison trap is such a real struggle for so many ladies and Nicki's new book is a breath of fresh air! In her friendly writing style Nicki gives us six truths to help battle the comparison trap "because truth, like always, will set us free". She uses the stories of Rachel and Leah from the Bible to guide us on a journey to discover how comparison has affected our lives and how we can change our stories. I found myself highlighting and underlining something in every chapter! There were many "me too" and "I never realized" moments throughout the book. Filled with Biblical truth and wisdom with a friendly and open style, this is definitely a book you will want to read and reference again and again! This would also be a wonderful book to use as a woman's Bible study or for personal study. So are you ready for the journey? "Comparison is a battle to see whose truth - ours or His - we'll allow to rule our thoughts and actions."
(I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.)

Nicki Koziarz has once again spoken straight to the heart of women everywhere with her new book, “Why Her?: 6 Truths We Need to Hear When Measuring Up Leaves Us Falling Behind”. Her vulnerability and humor are engaging. Nicki’s stories make her someone we can all relate to as we struggle with the issue of comparison. Her transparency and willingness to let us glimpse her own struggles connects our hearts and experiences.

This book spike to my heart and helped me see my unique gifted Ed’s in God’s eyes. Nicki’s words show us that comparison robs us of the ability to see and appreciate our true value, beauty, and worth! This book will make you laugh, think, and help you embrace who you were made to be!

Pamela Jones

A life changing book on how to conquer comparison. As a woman it is so easy to fall into the comparison trap. Nicki shares her own stories along with God's truth to help us get free.
I believe it has truly helped start a tremendous change in my life. All my life, at least since I can remember, I’ve struggled with comparison and jealousy. I’ve heard it was wrong (I grew up in church) but never had any concrete ways to overcome it. Since finishing this book, I have been able to put the truths into practice and I feel they are bringing about a life change in me!
I highly recommend this book!

This book. This author. I approached this book the same way I approached Nicki’s previous book, love her writing, but I don’t really relate to the subject, but I’ll read it anyway! Well, with quotes like this: “we often lose who we are while trying to become someone we aren’t” I realised I can relate, and I do struggle, and it quite often is a daily thing… With the 6 truths that Nicki outlines, and she outlines them in a way that you feel you are sitting having a coffee with her, you walk away thinking with God’s help through scripture and through friends I can do this, I can beat this comparison monster! This is not all light and fluffy – there is some real soul searching points, and Nicki challenges you with examples and questions or statements like “we have to trust God so much that if he doesn’t give it to us, we don’t want it” that require some honest soul searching answers…
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review

This is a must read!!

Every woman struggles with comparison. This book brings insight on how to stop the comparison game. We can be so competitive. She gets, she has turns to I want and I need. Using the story from Genesis we learn of Rachel and Leah. We learn that if we just realize who we are in Christ and trust in His timing. We would not make so many mistakes. Get your copy today. Read this easy to read book. Why Her and realize it’s ok to not be okay and if we learn to wait God has an amazing plan for our lives. I was privileged to obtain a copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Trust me this is a great book. Get yours today.

Comparison can be a NASTY feeling we all share but wouldn’t dare post about, tweet about, or discuss on a blog.
In 2018 would anyone be that honest to share personal detailed experiences on paper for everyone to read about feeling less than or envious?
YES, Nicki Koziarz did !
Nicki is a Christian Author that is lead by God to share her life experiences to minister to others .
Starting in chapter one you will see how honest she is about her own life as she reveals this delicate topic called comparison.
She has given us six truths on how to acknowledge and overcome these feelings.
Nicki travels us though Rachel and Leahs life dealing with these feelings that started back in Genesis.
Comparison back then was as real as it is today without all the social media.
If a doctor could give you something to help you feel less than when you had be around certain people , a school event ,an office party, looking at social medial without envy with no side effects would you take it ? Ladies this book will give you the prescription for you learn to overcome these feelings.
Ladies this is a must read to be a better YOU !
I was provided an advance copy for my review.