Going to Pieces without Falling Apart - A Buddhist Perspective on Wholeness

At first, it seemed to be THE book everyone interested in Bhudism and Psychoanalysis couldn't live without reading. It's good and shows the author knows a lot of both, but I found it very superficial when it comes to making connections between the different approchs of treatment in certain of the cases he mentions. I haven't finished it yet but

I've read several books about Buddhism written by psychiatrists (this seems to be a niche genre) and this is among the best.
It's a solid, non-technical introduction to Buddhist thought and psychotherapy, both of which deal with alleviating human suffering.
Aside: most of the one-star reviewers of this book don't sound very psychologically minded (not that there's anything wrong with that! as Seinfeld says), so be aware, the author is a psychiatrist and writes about the workings of the human mind (surprised?)
I read the book, took notes, reviewed my notes and the book several times because there is much to apply to one's life.
Epstein proves anew that Buddhism is the most psychological of the world religions and the most spiritual of the world's psychologies.
...and he does it in 180 pages.
Recommended.

In an effort to trim down my library for international shipment I looked over books I had not read for a long time. I decided to try to reread the ones I had some difficulty recalling. Dr. Epstein had two books on my selves since I purchased them in the late Ninety's. The first was Thoughts Without a Thinker and Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart, was the second. I thought I might even review both, but upon reading both, felt one was enough. They are too similar to bother to differentiate.

Dr. Epstein's background is to be commended. He is a highly educated man who is a practicing psychiatrist and is a contributing editor of Tricycle: The Buddhist Review, who tries to blend western psychiatric practices with the meditation practices of Buddhism. His books attempt to explain the benefit of this mixture as well as promote Buddhism in general. I remember first reading these books and thinking this was groundbreaking. That such a mix of wisdom would indeed be beneficial and was long overdue and that Dr. Epstein was mixing them so very well. Having revisited Dr. Epstein's work, as well as having a more mature perspective since first reading them, I have changed my mind.

While I agree with quiet a bit of what Dr. Epstein writes, his whole book can be summed up as one step forward, two steps back. The step forward is advocating meditation as a tool for maintaining and improving mental health. He makes strong cases for how and why this is. He pulls from Buddhist sources and his own experiences, case studies of his and others. The highlights of his book are those moments when he speaks of nothing but Buddhism, but stays away from too many fairytales, like when repeating what Zen Master Dogen had to say on our relationship with time. Dr. Epstein explains several Buddhist concepts very well, which I find to be the most helpful aspects of his book. Any intelligent person would be able to apply his descriptions to their own life experiences.

The two steps back are his use of western psychotherapy and the poor choice of case studies he uses as examples. I should say one and half steps back, because I do not wish to suggest that western psychotherapy has nothing to add to this conversation. However, Dr. Epstein makes strong use of past paradigms of the field. He uses Freud's model of the human psyche, which has fallen by the way side for years now as science becomes more able to penetrate the mysteries of the mind. In the opening chapter he writes about being diagnosed in his college years with an `Oedipus complex', which he takes seriously. In his defense I should repeat that these books were written in the '90's. It is reasonable to believe that Dr. Epstein's views have changed since then.

The full step back is the use of his case studies and moments from his personal life. He had one patient he writes about named Lucy, who was an actress and was having trouble interacting with her voice instructor. Lucy feels that entering his workshop is like entering a `lions den'. Dr. Epstein believes that her past experiences witnessing her parents fighting is what is holding her back as an actress and singer. He tells her stories of how Tibetan pre-Buddhist deities were turned into protectors of Buddhism. He suggests that she view her father this way as well as her voice instructor, because she is transposing one on top of the other, and befriend the lion, by bringing `him some milk'. So, it is her father's anger she witnessed as child that is interfering with her ability to act. It could be a lack of talent, but he didn't suggest that.

Another part of that second step back is his personal stories, such as meeting a therapist named Ram Dass. Dr. Epstein meets with this eccentric man in an empty room and has a staring contest. Ram Dass never speaks to him the whole time regardless of what Epstein does, he just stares at him. This staring therapy Dr. Epstein undergoes fills him with all sorts of love and compassion and a feeling of being connected, which is all confirmed by Ram Dass when he asks Epstein, "Are you in there?" and then pointing to himself says, "I'm in here." Which is promptly followed by `Far out.' Far out indeed, perhaps too far out.

The biggest problem with this book is Dr. Epstein's reliance on outdated western psychotherapeutic paradigms and the more esoteric, superfluous aspects of Tibetan Buddhism. There is certainly more to the human mind then Freud could divine in his day and while Dr. Epstein uses the work of several pioneering psychotherapist he neglects any data and information outside of his field. There is also more to Buddhism than Tibet. Tibetan Buddhism has become very popular in the west for political reasons, but it makes up a very small portion of the Buddhist world. Now it has become a lens through which many westerners view the Buddhist world, a view which is myopic and neglectful. I can not fault Dr. Epstein for the stance he takes in his book, he is a product of his field, both psychotherapy and Buddhism. If a person is so inclined to explore this view, then by all means read this book. However, if you after a more expansive and accurate view of the benefits of mediation, there are many more up to date sources.

Having spent years suffering high levels of emotional pain, Buddhism was naturally a possible solution. But the typical Western summary of its path as `giving up desire' put me off: to give up desire struck me as to give up being human. A couple of years ago, I bought at a country newsagent Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart: A Buddhist Perspective on Wholeness by psychiatrist Mark Epstein. The book is simply about buddhism-as-psychology - as far as I can see, what it has to say is compatible with any religious tradition. I read it, and then re-read it. Thinking about what it had to say changed my perspective and effectively banished my pain. I was suffering an emptiness that I did not see as emptiness but as lack - in my case, a lack of intimate love and the deeper fear that lack was just. This book enabled me to see what I was suffering was emptiness, to embrace that emptiness and to have it no longer cause me pain. I came to feel whole; I feel more human not less.

I am also much calmer, far fewer things irritate me, I laugh more. Situations of stress are much easier to handle. I have a pervasive feeling of triumph and a confidence that there is much more to discover.

Reading Epstein's book meant that Gurdjieff's notion of the need to fight against sleep, the sleep of what the mind can do but normally doesn't, makes much more sense to me nowadays. Though it seems to me Gurdieff was fumbling towards much that was already in the Buddhist tradition.

This book is clearly written. The Freudian content is higher than I am comfortable with, but has the advantage of being based on Freud's original writings, Freud being a more complex and subtle thinker than his disciples (as is so often the way with founders of schools of thought). What it has to say is very perceptive and useful even for someone who does not accept Freudian ideas. Highly recommended.

For decades, Western psychology has promised fulfillment through buildingand strengthening the ego. We are taught that the ideal is a strong,individuated self, constructed and reinforced over a lifetime. But Buddhistpsychiatrist Mark Epstein has found a different way.Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart shows us that happiness doesn't come from any kind of acquisitiveness, be it material or psychological.  Happiness comes from letting go. Weaving together the accumulated wisdom of his two worlds--Buddhism and Western psychotherapy--Epstein showshow "the happiness that we seek depends on our ability to balance the ego's need to do with our inherent capacity to be." He encourages us to relax the ever-vigilant mind in order to experience the freedom that comes only from relinquishing control.Drawing on events in his own life and stories from his patients, Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart teaches us that only by letting go can we start on the path to a more peaceful and spiritually satisfying life.

I bought this after reading Dan Harris' 10% happier. I found this to be a good read, delving deeper into the subject matter than Harris (which I would expect as Esptein is a Dr). At times it was a bit too technical, read too much like a textbook, but that's probably just me as I am not an academic and enjoy more of the "every man" perspective. Overall though, I would recommend this book, and I will look to others by Epstein as I continue my exploration of Buddhism.

This a terrific blend of Buddhist thought with the ideas that inform much of Western Psychology. The end result is great book that just might, in very practical terms, help you undestand yourself better. It's an accessible read that doesn't attempt to be deeply philosophical; instead it aims to be more practical. To be sure, at times, some of the ideas may appear obtuse if you haven't had much exposure to Buddhist and Psychological thought. But like most ideas and abstractions, it's talking about them that makes them complex, NOT the ideas themselves. Acutally, once you sort of "get it", the book is terrifically illuminating and thoughtful, yet very easy reading.
For some of the more heady scientific and philosphical ideas and arguements that inform modern Psychiatry, read Elio Frattaroli's HEALING THE SOUL IN THE AGE OF THE BRAIN. That book makes some complex ideas read like common sense.

I came across this book by chance at a conference book-display at a time when I am reasonably advanced in my understanding of Buddhism, both in philosophy and in practice. I am a meditator for several years and also study Buddhist philosophy. With that background, reading the book was an easy delight. Because Epstein talks about his exploration of Buddhism from an early age in his life rendered by his interest in Eastern spirituality and later sees it through the eyes of a Western psychiatrist. This is a refreshing addition to many similar clinicians around our time, notably Jon Kabat-Zinn, Matthew Ricard and Riohard Davidson who, in a specific way, focus on the meditative aspects of Buddhist practices.

Epstein simplifies the 'urban myth' about Buddhism, that it's not about being empty and renoucing self and world, but it's about learning the truth of the emptiness within and around us which one is often not allowed or 'trained' to acknowledge. The Western views in life, broadly, are about precision, differentiation and individuation. The East deals with this aspect by focussing on harmonisation and integrity. This is where this book impacts the reader's ideas if not downright challenge them. Epstein talks about his journey into exploring that "You have to be somebody before you can be nobody", ie, receiving psychotherapy allows one to find and define 'self' whereas Buddhism/its meditative practices are all about 'losing one's self'. Is that possible? Epstein can convince you.

Whilst reading the book, I can't help but think of modern day integral psychotherapy model pioneered by Wilber where he explains that one needs to constantly 'embrace, expand and transcent". What it means, in my opinion, is that we can feel life, have life, develop the mundane attachments and then 'go beyond' (trascend) and cultivate that ethereal detachment. It's a very subtle balance. Epstein throws a new easy light on this concept.

I enjoyed Epstein's attempt to understand and inform the reader of the commonalities between Buddhism and psychotherapy as a way to approaching the self-exploration. Both can be considered similar in ways how they address that space within which is the 'psyche' (Greek soul). He shows the reader that it's not impossible to experience real happiness and still experience 'emptiness' at the same time, and yet not get perturbed by it as one can integrate one's being to allow for such experiences to occur. Some might perceive it as too basic an attempt, especially the way he explains his professional contacts and deepens his understanding into various aspects of Buddhism including tantra etc. I found it interesting and would not hesitate recommending this book to anyone who wants to form a foundation in their knowledge on this topic.

Mark Epstein is remarkable in that his writing has a distinctly spiritual note, even while he is talking in scientific terms and refraining from engaging in a discourse of religion. "Going to pieces without falling apart" is an apt name for this book because it talks about the paradoxical nature of Buddhist meditation i.e. through the disintegration of the self and the ego you integrate yourself with all that is living. There is a simple poem that is quoted in this book that describes this process of falling apart and then coming together through an analogy about how a meditator sees mountains and rivers before nirvana and then all is changed during nirvana and then he sees mountains and rivers again. Epstein writes about how Buddhist meditation principles can be used in psychotherapy. In fact many principles are already being used, but without acknowledgement of the resemblance. He describes how Freud instructs therapists to listen to the patient in a careful non- judgmental way, very much like what Buddhist meditation ideally is - i.e. non-judgmental observation of all your thoughts and actions. Buddhism, however, goes beyond traditional therapy by working with the feeling of isolation we all have to actually finding a more satisfying answer than merely learning to cope. In conclusion, highly recommended for its focus on Buddhist meditation practices and links to psychology but if you are looking for the religious aspects of Buddhism this is not for you.

This book helped me during a very difficult time. I really wanted an spiritual awakening. I got more than that. It is an eye opener. I had in many occations used the word "Enlightment" to describe my amazing educational experience at Monterey Peninsula College; and also to describe the experience of having been educated by such amazing instructors. At the time I was merely an intellectual beast, feeding that ego. After reading this Enlightening book, and Dr's Epstein views and meshing of both Western and Eastern philosophies or psychologies; then I realized that "I had had an overflowing cup of tea" all my life. In fact I realized that perhaps accademically I have a 3.7GPA; but truthfully I knew nothing. I still don't know the half! However, I have realized that; thought overpowered me and that I had only lived on the outside of the circle. The book has prompt me to introduce my children and myself to a calmer and more serene existance. I am finacially overwhealmed, I am a single parent of 4, my job stinks; but I am in a good place; I have at least experieced serenety. It is nurturing to be here. If I could ask Dr. Epstein to suggest some childresn's titles, some of which he reads to his own children. Local book stores don't seem to have any suggestions.

With a title like that, and the author's credentials, the temptation was too much to buy this book. Overall this was a good effort, and I was able to extract at least one nugget of wisdom from each chapter. But....I found the author a little too self-absorbed, and at times he comes across as a Buddhist insider talking down to his readers. I expected a little more depth and fewer anecdotes, but at least the author seems to be honest and I am sure there are people who will like his approach.

This book uses a very selective, pick-and-choose approach to Buddhism as a means of pointing up the failings of traditional psychotherapy, by the use of anecdotes from the psychiatrist-author's personal life and from the case histories of his (almost entirely female) patients. It succeeds to some degree on the descriptive level, but it is not a how-to: if you need therapy, this book is not a substitute for it, and if you want to develop a meditation practice, this book will probably encourage you but it will not show you or tell you how. If you want to learn about Buddhist meditation practice this book is particularly misleading because it suggests that meditation can be a sort of care-free lifestyle accoutrement that will correct all the flaws of your (and your therapist's) Western mindset. There is an over-emphasis on esoteric Tibetan practices and beliefs that have no demonstrable connection with the teachings of the Buddha. These lurid by-ways are showcased at the expense of the traditional core of Buddhist teaching, such as the laws of moral cause and effect (i.e., karma), the four Noble Truths, and the eightfold Noble Path. Most surprisingly, the author gets through his 180 pages without once noting that, according to the Buddhist perspective, progress in meditative insight and the spiritual path is based squarely upon self-discipline and moral living. By the end of the book you will know quite a bit about the lifestyle of a successful Manhattan psychotherapist and the sorts of problems that plague his patients, but if you want to be bristling with insights about yourself, as the author is, you would be better advised to undergo one of the intensive meditation retreats that he is always going on, and going on about.

The book does a little psychology trashing, but that's a good warning; it's impossible to be a therapist without having some idea how your client's should end up. On whole, the book weaves us back into a psychology that recognizes the depth and mystery of our experience. I wouldn't take Epstein literally; I'd rather take the freedom he gives me and do good things with it.
For the Buddhists, he drops some clues I haven't seen elsewhere in his tradition. I wonder if some author's mistake the pathology of our culture as something to be overcome? Epstein opens up the other half of what he was taught, and, yes, to some of us it's good news.
As another reader commented, this could be a very positive book for our society. Epstein's master wrote of spiritual materialism, but for me, this account is much more accessible. It could just be clear writing, but for me it was new insight.

I have been suffering from anxiety/depression and feelings of emptiness for 6 years since I went through a particularly stressful event. I have only read as far as chapter 3 but already I can see that this is the first self help book I have read (and I have read quite a few) that really hits the nail on the head and left me thinking "This is it. If only I had known that 6 years ago". It seems amazing to me that a person can understand the human mind so clearly and lay it out in a logical manner for a layman to understand. When I comeplete the book I will get back to you on what I thought of his practical implementation of the solution to the problem. I just wanted to get this out there for people to read now as if you are feeling any of the things I noted above then this book is the best place to start in my opinion.

If you are working on spiritual improvement this book is wonderful. As fine a contribution as, "Wherever You Go, There you Are".
Don't be thrown off because the author didn't conveniently take a name like, "Sri Raj Chimnoy". Don't prejudge the book by it's title into believing you must be "falling to Pieces" to benefit from reading it.
Read It.

This is another excellent book in the newly emerging re-examination of Buddhist principles and practices and its application in the healing arts. The power of developing presence through mindfulness cannot be underestimated in personal transformation and psychotherapy. In the spacious awareness that is mindfulness meditation, we can begin to reconnect with our essential wholeness in spite of the hard reality of life. To read more about mindfulness meditation,I also recommend 'The Path of Mindfulness Meditation' by Dr Peter Strong, an in-depth exploration of mindfulness meditation.

It is the curse of books about spirituality: excessive earnestness. Yet I had not expected it from Dr Epstein's publication, partly on account of an upbeat title and partly because the Tibetans, from whose Buddhism Epstein gains most of his inspiration, are a jolly lot with a lack of the hand-wringing earnestness we in the West associate with 'religion'. I was wrong. Despite being well intentioned, Epstein comes over as taut, anxious and completely humourless. And although he provides his readers with many and varied examples of Buddhist thought and practice in helping his clients, the clients themselves appear not so much as flesh and blood but rather as cardboard creations who participate merely to serve as instances of particular Buddhist principles. I look forward to the time when Dr Epstein can have a good giggle at the absurdity of existence and is able to use humour, good nature and affability to guide those who find the going hard. Now that would be real Tibetan practice in a western surrounding!

Mark Epstein is much smarter than me, better educated, and knows a lot more than me about Buddhism and psychology.

Why then, did I feel untouched by this book? Every page, every word made sense; his arguments appeared sound and I could sense the earnest passion behind Dr. Epstein's writing. Nevertheless, I came away with little other than the assertion that Eastern Philosophy can inform the practice of Western Psychotherapy.

I suspect many reading this review, looking for books on this union of two great thought traditions, already know of, or suspect, a commonality. Some of his readers have lived within it for years. For these readers, I would guess there is little here other than a reinforcement, and systemization, of these ideas (by means of a pretigious professional training) while others might gain insights that are new to them.

But I do exaggerate. There is another thing that I brought away with me as I lay this book on the "finished" shelf in my basement: a desire to sit with the author, on the couch or on the cushion, and have him communicate his thoughts directly to, and specifically for, me.

Because I suspect Dr. Esptein is more therapist than popularizer and in adjusting his insights for a generic, and collective, reader, rather than a specific and soliary client or patient facing him from across his office, he diminishes them past the point of usefulness. His patients and students are fortunate to have direct access to his perspectives. This reader wanted more.

This book has helped me deal with my depression and helped to stop my negative thinking. Previously, no matter how hard I tried,or what I did, my self esteem was never high enough.
However, I found this book very helpful. Mr. Epstein will detsroy some of the BIG I thinking in America. After all, it's not all about us.
"Going To Pieces Without Falling Apart" will help anyone who is truly searching for answers and for peace.

I was totally engrossed in this book from start to finish. The psychotherapy and buddism was fascinating indeed. I love the buddist stories too. I felt encouraged to be me, and not be guilty about doing nothing. I'm a doaholic you see, so this book was a relief...

In this wonderfully crafted book the reader is taken on a journey through society's general mind and learns how to deal with some of it's problems. Mr. Epstein displays how Buddhism has not only helped revive his life, but also the lives' of some of his most "needy" patients. A must read for anyone interested in Buddhism and/or psychotherapy.

I really enjoyed reading this insightful articulation of the ongoing practice of meditation and therapy. The relating of personal and professional experience with these two forms of inquiry into the nature of mind/life was very well done. I noticed at the completion of this book what a delightful read it was and how spiritually nourished I felt.

Mr. Epstein presents practical insights in an intelligent and forthright manner. "Going To Pieces Without Falling Appart", is highly recommened to those curious about life living. A good read for contemplatives and busy folk alike, I've had my head in this book for a week... there is much to learn in it.

A Buddhist psychologist recommended this book to me and I am glad they did. It not only presents a readable and enjoyable introduction to some mindfulness concepts, but also a good way to start to appreciate relevant Buddhist concepts. It is written in an accessible way and a must for anyone who sees the journey as more important than the destination....