This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence

This book came highly recommended. The author explains the true purpose and meaning of marriage. He shares the keys that make a marriage what God intended: successful, fulfilling, and satisfying and sustaining. I give it my highest recommendation.

It could be just my personal opinion but the book is very boring. It is very wordy and repetitive. It seems like the book could be cut in half by condensing chapters. Maybe someone else will get benefit from it but we did not.

an excellent read for any couple looking to get married or is married and also for anyone that is single. gives a great understanding of the true meaning of marriage not being for the self but for Christ and being a portrait of God's covenant love with us. I have started buying this book for every bridal shower I go to and pray that that couple would have God speak to them through it. I did for me and my marriage and now our small group is about to start a study in it. I know God will do great things through this book for us.

A classic for anyone approaching (or in) marriage. Fantastic at providing the foundations of a Christ-centered marriage. This book will foster a deeper appreciation of what marriage symbolizes, more realistic attitudes/expectations between spouses, and a more eternal, big-picture viewpoint.

This book about marriage shocked me; then challenged me; and finally convicted me about how I can do better in my own marriage. Written for evangelical christians, it has timeless value for all people. With the impermanence of marriage affecting believers and non-believers equally, this book will cause you to return to God's original model for marriage. For those seeking divorce, read this first. A must-read for newlyweds!

Being a pastor, sometimes it's difficult to look at things from a different perspective. Brother Piper has done a great job of challenging every married couple in this book to properly represent the Lord in their marriage. I am not in 100% agreement with him on divorce - I DO believe it's OK to divorce IF AND ONLY IF your spouse has cheated on you. But, this is not a major point in the book. It does not hurt the point of the book at all. May God bless His children as they study the importance of marriage.

In "This Momentary Marriage," John Piper presents a strong, biblically-inspired stand that "Most foundationally, marriage is the doing of God (And) ultimately, marriage is the display of God." Not marital advice but a delving into the mystery that Paul alludes to in his lesson about marriage in Ephesians, "This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church." (Ephesians 5: 32, ESV)

I appreciated this book immensely but as I write this review about it, I must offer my belief that it will be appreciated most by a certain audience whereas others may not enjoy it as much. So before, you recommend it to someone, think about how it may resonate with them.

Here's the criteria I would use for potential readers: 1) Committed Christian; AND, 2) Holding the (Christian) Bible as an authoritative source of truth; AND, 3) Earnestly exploring God-inspired insight about marriage. Those holding doubts about their, or the, Christian faith but who are earnest truth seekers and open to accepting the Bible as a source of truth may also benefit from this book. Regarding others, I'm not so sure.

I offer these audience guidelines because some may see this book as presenting a dogmatic, "hard line" view about marriage, an institution commonly attributed as arising from societal tradition but which Piper presents as originally ordained by God. He starts with a bang in the first chapter to set up what he has to say about marriage:

"There never has been a generation whose general view of marriage is high enough," wrote Piper in the first chapter. "I pray that this book might be used by God to help set you free from the small, worldly, culturally contaminated, self-centered, Christ-ignoring, God-neglecting, romance-intoxicated, unbiblical views of marriage."

While these are strong words, I believe they represent how Piper unflinchingly draws a line in the sand that challenges readers to elevate their view of marriage above the common discourse underway in the world and even in the church today. Wading deeply into Scripture, texts from 32 of the Bible's 66 books are referenced with each chapter launching from a key Biblical passage.

A central theme is that, "The shadow of covenant-keeping between husband and wife (in their marriage) gives way (after death) to the reality of covenant-keeping between Christ and his glorified Church." While marriage is confined to the span of life, God uses it as a pointer to realities found in the next life which is to say that marriage is more than simply a license a couple secures to live out their love in a manner that is societally acceptable. Hence, the book is not so much about marriage as it's about God and Christ and how marriage factors into the plan of redemption for all people, whether or not they marry (and whether or not they are believers!).

In just 178 pages, Piper covers a lot of marital territory including all the "hot" topics - romance, sex, headship, submission, childbearing and divorce. His position on divorce will test the mettle of many readers, especially those who have experienced divorce. While he presents sound biblical reasoning for this position, he leave lots of room for mercy and even admits that his view is not commonly held among church or biblical scholars.

So to those who may say the book's tone is lacking in grace, I would disagree but also understand that charge. While I was challenged at many turns, I thought Piper offered sound biblical reasoning against which I could compare my own conclusions versus his, pro or con. That's all I can ask of any book. Overall, he succeeded in elevating my view of marriage in a manner I found quite inspiring.

Unlike most marriage books today, this book begins by addressing the larger issue, which is Christian discipleship - learning to obey the commands of Christ to die to self and live lives of obedience to Him. When the heart issues are addressed, the love of Christ is given a free channel out to others, beginning with one's spouse. Piper addresses the root concept of marriage as a parable of the relationship between Christ and His bride, the church. He encourages the reader to get beyond popular culture, which puts self at the center of attention, and to see marriage as God's idea, created by Him for His glory.

Even so, the book is intensely practical. Biblical themes such as covenant-keeping, covenant love, forgiveness, forbearance, headship, submission, humility, and grace are addressed and give hope that through the power of Christ, marriage can be wonderful and singleness a privilege of great blessing as well. Children, divorce, sex, and discipleship are also covered. I recommend this book not only to married people, but also singles and engaged couples.

I've read a lot of Christian books about marriage and this one is by far the best I've read. I loved reading about the bigger picture God has for marriage and the way it works into his plan. Piper does a great job of bringing an eternal perspective to a very human experience. It will strengthen your relationship with your spouse and God.

The book is a great purchase for anyone - single or married! Piper writes of the institution of marriage and how it directly represents Christ and the church. It's a great book for those who are looking to get married - my fiancé and I are reading it for our marriage counseling. I highly recommend it.

My life as a husband, pastor, and seminary grad has put a number of marriage books under before my eyes. I'm always looking for something to lead couples I counsel through, something to lead my wife through, something to geek-out over. For a number of reasons, this book is the only one I plan to take every pre-marital couple I counsel through, sometimes with the addition of others. Here's why:

First, it's short. The chapters are short, and the whole thing isn't huge either. Some people I counsel are great for a longer take, like Kostenberger's work on marriage. But this one doesn't intimidate people who don't love to read, even though it's powerful enough to move a very academic mind. It's like great preaching in that way.

Second, it is both clear and powerful. It's natural to sacrifice one for the other, but Piper shows his writing skill well here.

Third, it is all about marriage pointing to Christ and the Church, which so many otherwise great books on marriage miss. Piper quotes his wife saying "you can't say that enough," in the book. She's right.

Fourth, it gets it so right in so many areas of theology and practical application. I've never agreed more with a marriage book.

Fifth, more particularly, this is one of the few books out there that articulates what I believe to be a Biblical view of divorce and remarriage.

Finally, Piper has a knack for seeing how people would abuse a text or a truth and diffusing that tendency. He knows the heart well enough to stop us in our tracks.

It's a book connecting marriage to Christ and the Church written by a good scholar, a good preacher, and a good pastor. Five stars.

During a tumultuous time in marriage someone special suggested my reading this book on several occasions. In God`s time I got it and it has been a blessing to me. All authors ideas are not inline with mine but God ministered to me continuously through the book.

This Momentary Marriage, gives such a great understanding to the Biblical marriage seeking young adult or already married couple. Understanding the parable of the Christian marriage between Christ and the church is so important in understanding what marriage is and how it is supposed to work.

This book written by John Piper WITH his wife Noël as they celebrated 40 years of mariage is radically biblical, touchingly personal and incisively erudite. It is excellent for beginners and tremendous for finishers. The title alone is a goldmine. We are translating it into French here in Montreal and I can say personnaly that the hours my wife and I read it together were very precious as we came to the 40 year milestone. I am a pastor and I preached chapter one at a recent wedding. This is Piper at his best: original, uncompromising, wise and high-level. I call it mariage 401!

Revamp your views on marriage. Rethink everything our pop-culture has taught about love, commitment, and marriage. Its about so much more than us- not our happiness, our satisfaction, our comfort, but its all about Jesus.

This book got off to a slow and slightly laborious start for me. It seemed redundant. Maybe I needed another coffee, but I was bored with the style. It appeared to lack coherence. Chapter two was doused with conjecture. At that I was nearly ready to toss in the towel. I'm glad I stuck it out. The book quickly got better. Much better, in fact.

If there's anything at which Piper excels, it is his constant mindfulness of the brevity of this earthly run. He never gives the impression that five minutes have elapsed since his last thought on the meaning of life. If everything in the believer's short life is to honor Christ and bring glory to God, how much more should marriage! Marriage, as Piper explains, is the doing of God and the display of God. This book explains how to make the very most of it.

Read with a highlighter. "This Momentary Marriage" is a field of treasures. There's an appeal to humility for both partners. There's practical advice for the woman who desires her reluctant husband to lead, but feels the paralyzing irony of demanding his leadership. Along with an uncompromising call for men to lead, there's specific instruction. There are profound thoughts on the contentment produced by faith and its implications for the marriage bed. Piper even delivers some profound thoughts on topics like singleness and parenting.

We're all rebels at heart. So here's my warning: if your particular rebellion against God happens to manifest itself in a futile attachment to modern feminism with respect to gender roles, you will be offended. As we should expect from anyone who reveres the Word of God, Piper eschews political correctness. Keep in mind that if no one ever offends you, you are friendless and hopeless. The truth elixir is always nasty on the way down. But, freedom waits on the other side.

I didn't necessarily agree with everything in the book. Piper takes a hard line on remarriage following divorce. I'll credit him for making his case well and for admitting that he is in a lonely minority among Bible scholars. I won't dismiss his position without taking the time to explore it more thoroughly.

A good book asks the right questions before giving the right answers. I'm not sure I've read a marriage book that better lays out the foundation for marriage and addresses the relevant issues that follow. The bottom line is this: Piper gives us a mostly well-written book of marriage wisdom. It's worth a read and maybe even a reread.

This book answers the question "What is marriage." I didn't realize how important it was to understand that one answer, but it has really helped me to be a better husband. This book would be appropriate for anyone, not just couples and not only people who are experiencing problems.

Biblical, comprehensive and very practical. I would recommend it for anyone, any age, single or married. It would be very helpful for couples considering marriage to discuss during their pre-marriage counseling sessions.

I wouldn't recommend this book or the author. Sadly many woman stay in marriages
where they and possibly their children are beaten everyday by the verbal/emotional
and physical outrages of their husbands. This is not glorifying to God, nor is it a picture
of the marriage of Christ and the Church.

I decided to read This Momentary Marriage in order to learn how to be a better husband. Pastor Piper, my favorite author, has been married for more than forty years and knows the challenges and joys of this sacred institution. What separates This Momentary Marriage from most marriage books is that this is not an instructional manual that gives you ten tips on how to build a stronger marriage. This Momentary Marriage is a theological look at what marriage is all about - the covenant-keeping love of Christ. During the first half of the book, I felt Piper was a little repetitive, but I probably felt that way because I have my nose in so many of his books lately. This Momentary Marriage hits on a number of topics such as leadership, submission, hospitality, romance, children, anger, divorce, remarriage and to my surprise, singleness. Piper covers singleness in chapters 9-10, and it really needs to be read by not just singles, but those who are married. We tend to exalt marriage in unChristlike ways and fail to see the even greater blessings that will come to all Christians when we pass from this world. Of course, as always, Piper has scattered Scripture throughout the book. Each chapter starts off with a quote from Dietrich Bonhoeffer's Letters and Papers from Prison. This Momentary Marriage concludes with a few words of thanks, a Scripture index, person index, subject index and a note on Desiring God resources. If you are married, engaged, hope to be married or called to remain single, I highly recommend this book. It is definitely the best book I've read on the topic of marriage.

A beautifully written account of the temporary circumstances of married life in light of the permanent state of our souls. The condescending love of God sheds light on how to live peaceful yet passionate lives. Piper leads thoughtful perspective on the sacred union in this easy to read manual of sorts. Humbling and challenging throughout, this book puts the reality of sacrifice in marriage in hopeful terms, pointing the reader toward the truth and it's application in married life. Truth that is reverent, Christ centered, gospel driven, strengthening and real.

This book has plenty of great advice for newlyweds not only about why two people should get married, but also how to stay married. Piper does a wonderful job linking the importance of faith in God with faith in your spouse. The only rocky point in the book comes when he puts forth his idea that you should stay married even if you're miserable and in love with someone else. I half agree with his opinion here, but that's neither here nor there. My fiancee and I read this for our marriage prep and we feel it has helped us rationalize our fears of marriage and our anticipations.

Brief Summary

This book is not about being a husband or a wife. Rather, it is about marriage, which transcends the roles of two individuals, and, properly understood, catapults us to gaze upon the glories of heaven. By God’s design, marriage is the best representation of the gospel. In this book, Piper labors to have us see it.

His thesis best summarizes the book’s intent: “I pray that this book might be used by God to help set you free from small, worldly, culturally contaminated, self-centered, Christ-ignoring, God-neglecting, romance-intoxicated, unbiblical views of marriage. The most foundational thing to see from the Bible about marriage is that it is God’s doing. And the ultimate thing to see from the Bible about marriage is that it is for God’s glory” (Pg. 21).

Priority

I have not read many marriage books, and I am not married. So, on the surface, my evaluation of this book is uneducated and uninformed at best. I don’t resent that judgment. However, I have seen how God loves marriage in His Word, and I have seen the devastating belittlement of it in the world – even in the church. In light of that contrast, Piper’s book is crucial, and on point throughout every chapter. His goal is to unveil the glory of marriage in light of the glory of the gospel, and he does a good job of it.

So then, why not a 5? I haven’t read enough on the topic, or lived it, to know. Lord-willing, both will change before I die and go to glory, and then I’ll be able to more accurately prioritize this book.

Strengths

Across all times and cultures, marriage is the most universal institution. Have you stopped to ask, “Why?” Of all the people in the world, only Christians have the answer: marriage points to the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is rudimentary to anyone who has ever read Ephesians 5:22-33. Yet, though we Christians may read this verse often during weddings, and say the truth of it often with our lips, few have plumbed the depths and exposited the treasure of this magnificent, glorious reality. By the grace of God, along with the furnace of forty years of marriage, Piper has. It is Scripture truth spoken through a man who has lived, and lives, it out. All of us who are married or seek to be married would do well to listen.

Prerequisites/Cautions

I would recommend this to any Christian. In fact, I recommend it to most (if not all) of those who are dating/engaged/seeking to be married. What can I say? It’s a good book.

The only thing to note is that Piper has a minority understanding of ‘divorce’ in Matthew 19:3-9, which he seeks to defend briefly in the last two chapters. However, he does so quite graciously, with full awareness that most do not agree. Even if you disagree, it’s profitable to read a different, evangelically-acceptable view.

Readability

This book is quite easy to read, with short chapters and helpful topic headings to aide the digestion of a common, yet weighty topic.

I speculate that Piper meant for this book to be read with much discussion between each chapter, as hammers his point (that marriage is inextricably tied to the gospel) in almost every chapter. If that is indeed the case, the repetition makes good sense, but for someone reading it straight through in a few days, it proves to be a little tiresome.

Chapter Titles & Quotes

I chose not to take quotes from every chapter simple because of the large number of chapters.

1. Introduction: Marriage and Martyrdom

Romance, sex, and childbearing are temporary gifts of God. They are not part of the next life. And they are not guaranteed even for this life. They are one possible path along the narrow road to Paradise. Marriage passes through breathtaking heights and through swamps of choking vapors. It makes many things sweeter, and with it come bitter providences.
Pg. 16-17

2. Staying Married Is Not Mainly about Staying in Love

…the highest meaning and the most ultimate purpose of marriage is to put the covenant relationship of Christ and his church on display. That is why marriage exists. If you are married, that is why you are married. If you hope to be, that should be your dream. Staying married, therefore, is not mainly about staying in love. It is about keeping covenant. “Till death do us part” or “As long as we both shall live” is a sacred covenant promise — the same kind that Jesus made with his bride when he died for her. …Christ will never leave his wife. Ever. …Christ keeps his covenant forever. Marriage is a display of that! That is the ultimate thing we can say about it. It puts the glory of Christ’s covenant-keeping love on display.
Pg. 25

3. Naked and Not Ashamed

Suddenly [in Genesis 3:7, Adam and Eve] are self-conscious about their bodies. Before their rebellion against God there was no shame. Now, evidently, there is shame. Why? There is no reason to think it’s because they suddenly became ugly. That’s not the focus of the text at all. Their beauty wasn’t the focus in Genesis 2:25 and their ugliness is not the focus here in Genesis 3:7. Why then the shame? Because the foundation of covenant keeping love collapsed. And with it the sweet, all-trusting security of marriage disappeared forever.
Pg. 34-35

4. God’s Showcase of Covenant-Keeping Grace

…the main point in this chapter is that since Christ’ new covenant with his church is created by and sustained by blood-bought grace, therefore, human marriages are meant to showcase that new-covenant grace. …in marriage you live hour by hour in glad dependence on God’s forgiveness and justification and promised future grace, and you bend it out toward your spouse hour by hour — as an extension of God’s forgiveness and justification and promised help.
Pg. 43

5. Forgiving and Forbearing

6. Pursuing Conformity to Christ in the Covenant

7. Lionhearted and Lamblike — The Christian Husband as Head: Foundations for Headship

8. Lionhearted and Lamblike — The Christian Husband as Head: What Does It Mean to Lead?

*I wish I could quote this entire chapter. But I’ll chose only a small bit.

So, husbands, your headship means: Go ahead. Take the lead. It does not matter if it is her fault. That didn’t stop Christ. Who will break the icy silence first? Who will choke out the words, “I’m sorry, I want to be better”? Or “Can we talk? I’d like things to be better.” She might beat you to it. Sometimes that’s okay. But woe to you if you think that since it’s her fault, she’s obliged to say the first reconciling word. Headship is not easy. It is the hardest, most humbling work in the world.
Pg. 91

9. The Beautiful Faith of Fearless Submission

“Holy women who hoped in God …” A Christian woman does not put her hope in her husband, or in getting a husband. She does not put her hope in her looks or her intelligence or her creativity. She puts her hope in the promises of God. …

She looks away from the troubles and miseries and obstacles of life that seem to make the future bleak, and she focuses her attention on the sovereign power and love of God who rules in heaven and does on earth whatever he pleases (Ps. 115:3). She knows her Bible, and she knows that her theology of the sovereignty of God, and she knows his promise that he will be with her and will help her and strengthen her no matter what. This is the deep, unshakable root of Christian womanhood.
Pg. 97

10. Single in Christ: A Name Better Than Sons and Daughters

Take heed here lest you minimize what I am saying and do not hear how radical it really is. I am not sentimentalizing singleness to make the unmarried feel better. I am declaring the temporary and secondary nature of marriage and family over against the eternal and primary nature of the church. …I am declaring the radical biblical truth that being in a human family is no sign of eternal blessing, but being in God’s family means being eternally blessed. Relationships based on family are temporary. Relationships based on union with Christ are eternal. Marriage is a temporary institution, but what it stands for lasts forever.
Pg. 111

11. Singleness, Marriage, and the Christian Virtue of Hospitality

12. Faith and Sex in Marriage

You don’t have to be an ascetic, and you don’t have to be afraid of the goodness of physical pleasure, to say that sexual intimacy and sexual climax get their final meaning from what they point to. They point to ecstasies that are unattainable and inconceivable in this life. Just as the heavens are telling of the glory of God’s power and beauty, so sexual climax is telling the glory of immeasurable delights that we will have with Christ in the age to come. There will be no marriage there (Matt. 22:30). But what marriage meant will be there. And the pleasures of marriage, ten-to-the-millionth power, will be there.
Pg. 127-128

13. Marriage Is Meant for Making Children … Disciples of Jesus: How Absolute Is the Duty to Procreate?

The most fundamental task of a mother and father is to show God to the children. Children know their parents before they know God. This is a huge responsibility and should cause every parent to be desperate for God-like transformation.
Pg. 143

14. Marriage Is Meant for Making Children … Disciples of Jesus: The Conquest of Anger in Father and Child

15. What God Has Join Together, Let Not Man Separate: The Gospel and the Radical New Obedience

Therefore, if Christ ever abandons and discards his church, then a man may divorce his wife. And if the blood-bought church, under the new covenant, ever ceases to be the bride of Christ, then a wife may legitimately divorce her husband. But as long as Christ keeps his covenant with the church, and as long as the church, by the omnipotent grace of God, remains the chosen people of Christ, then the very meaning of marriage will include: What God has joined, only God can separate.
Pg. ???

16. What God Has Join Together, Let Not Man Separate: The Gospel and the Divorced

Such important truths to stand on in marriage. As always, John Piper draws our minds toward Christ and heaven and makes the reader want to bring glory to God in all aspects of life, especially marriage.

I think it's important to understand this book is explaining what marriage is, why it was created, and ways you can strengthen your marriage. It's just a tool, and shouldn't replace Scripture. If someone is in an abusive relationship, they should seek advice from the Bible, because there are instances where divorce is more acceptable. This book, to me, is just a more general understanding of marriage. I agree with Piper when he says we shouldnt leave a marriage simply because it gets hard and we aren't happy anymore. It's refreshing to read about how beautiful marriage is and hear positive outlooks, because these days, people talk about marriage as if it's the worst thing in the world.

Challenging...but good though.
"He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.”

I appreciated Piper's presentation on Marriage. Quite reasonably an adequate address of the subject of Marriage necessarily invites discussion on 'Pre' and 'Post' Marriage, or Singleness and Divorce. His discussion also includes the topic of Children in relation to Marriage, and he offers the reader a brief word regarding the immense heartache of Marriage/Life without Children (e.g., Piper cites Isaiah 56:4–5).

Many of the ideas conveyed through the book will be familiar to those who have explored Piper’s “Marriage” related resources on the Desiring God Website. His consistency in content and concept also retains the characteristic appeal of a writing style that is prepared and passionate, philosophical and practical, as well as personal and pertinent.

To note, Piper's Position on Divorce and Remarriage is far more...restrictive...than most; and it is an observation that he humbly acknowledges without hesitation (he would likely also add that this 'restrained' view flows out of a reverence for the sanctity of Marriage). His dogged pursuit though of dogmatic truth by means of Scriptural scholarship, lean logic, and extensive years of related studies, yields a compelling call for the reader’s authentic consideration, regardless of their current alignment with his positions.

In respect to Piper's described purview of Marriage itself though, (to the extent that the subject of 'Marriage' can be isolated from 'Divorce/Remarriage'), I suspect a much larger majority of Christian readers will find resonance with Piper's insights and exhortations. And all the more so, Piper’s pages overflow with an inspirational yearning that is distinctively befitting the divinely marital design; it is a genuine yearning that would be difficult perhaps for most any reader to resist in the wake of his zeal.

For most any that share common Faith with Piper, it is readily clear that it his desire to honestly champion marriage as an institute that is far more deserving of measures of honor greater than even its participants have afforded it. His striving and scribing is an earnestness for both the Single and the Married individual to continue to elevate their esteem of the mystery and majesty of Marriage to a measure that manifests a harmony with Marriage's role as a supreme allegory of Christ’s own eternal and divine love for his Bride, the Church.

The best book I've read on marriage. Totaly changed my view on marriage and how we're to see it thru God's perspective and not our emotions. This book gave me an Idea as to what it means to love and serve my wife. Even if you don't believe that the Bible teaches that God intended for marriages to be "till death do us part", it is still a very clear Biblical view of our practical rolls in marriage.

John Piper isn't Biblically correct with his teaching on the covenant of marriage. He teaches that remarried people that have a first spouse still living can confess their remarriage was a sin and remain in it. No where else does the Bible indicate that an unlawful relationship becomes lawful after only a confession of it. Scripture teaches that marriage is a one flesh life long covenant and endures until death (Genesis 2: 24, Romans: 7: 2-3 and 1 Corinthians 7 : 39). Luke 16 :18 and Mark 10: 2-12 clearly indicates that God doesn't recognize divorce and any remarriage while the first spouse is still living is the sin of adultery. It's not possible to have two covenants in effect promising the same thing to more than one person. This is in essence what John Piper is teaching. I hope and pray he will repent from this unbiblical teaching.

This book illustrates the covenant-pattern Jesus and Church / husband and wife. The reason why I have purchased it is because I was expecting to find refreshing biblical truth about the institution of marriage and its indissolubility, but sadly I have found nothing but compromise and inconsistency. The author's flaws reach their peak in the last chapter where the author deliberately deny biblical evidence. I would like to show the main flaws and inconsistencies I have found throughout the book.
On page 35 of the book “Recovering Biblical manhood and womanhood” John Piper wrote: “When the Bible teaches that men and women fullfil different roles in relation to each other, charging man with a unique leadership role, it bases this differentiation not on temporary cultural norms but on permanent facts of creation. This is seen in 1 Timothy 2:11-14.” Surprisingly, on page 139 of “This Momentary Marriage,” the author wrote: “but neither is producing children in marriage an absolute callings on all couples. It is normal, good, painful, glorious-but not absolutely required of all”. I find it inconsistent that the author who constantly takes Timothy 2:11-14 in order to forbid the leading authority of women over men, does not spend the same amount of efforts and dedication in order to promote childbearing in every marriage (unless there are health issues). 1 Timothy 2:15-16
Chapter 14 shows an essential Christian value: no remarriage after divorce for any reason, since it is equal to adultery. On pages 160 and 161 the author explains that God's will about divorce in Genesis 1-2 is not the same as his will expressed in Deuteronomy 24. Here John Piper correctly represents why divorce and remarriage is incompatible with Christianity. The author writes on page 160
“Jesus knew that the Pharisees were an 'adulterous generation'(Matt. 12:39). So he leads them to that very place and asks them in Mark 10:3, 'What did Moses command you?' He takes them to Moses. But they should be careful
here. Moses didn't just write the Deuteronomy, which they are about to quote. He also wrote Genesis. In Mark 10:4 they say, 'Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.' That's true. It s a reference to Deuteronomy 24:1. What Jesus say in response to this defense of divorce? Verse 5: Jesus says to them, ' Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment.' It implies, in other words, that there are laws in the Old Testament that are not expressions of God's will for all time, but expressions of how best to manage sin in a particular people at a particular time.”
The author rightly claims that divorce after remarriage is a grave sin and not an option for Christians. On page 168 the author emphasized:
“If a person is going to remain single to honor his or her marriage vows, that perspective will be crucial. Since God IS THE ONE WHO DECISIVELY MAKES EVERY MARRIAGE, only God has the right to break a marriage. And he does it by death. Which is why the biblical marriage vows have only one limitation: 'Till death do us part'.
Unbiblically and inconsistently on page 170 the author contradicts God's Command and openly insulted God's will. Piper wrote:
“In that sense [while a divorced spouse is still living] to remarry is adultery. But I do not think that a person who remarries against God's will, should later break the second marriage. The marriage should not have been done, but now that it is done, it SHOULD NOT BE UNDONE BY MAN. It is a real marriage. Real covenants vows have been made.”
It is obvious that John Piper chose compromise. Since God is the only One who makes every marriage (as the author claims), this so called second marriage is not a covenant at all but adultery. Piper inconsistently calls real marriage with real covenant vows what he identified (in obedience with the Scriptures) as adultery throughout his book.
I cannot stand this hypocrisy.

Christian marriage is an excessively crowded genre. What sets this book apart is it's deep roots in scripture. The title captures the theme: marriage is a temporal tool to guide toward eternal righteousness. It is rare but encouraging to see this as a central theme. This is primarily an educational book and does not easily lend itself to discussion. Mr. Piper allows little or no room for grey areas. Whether intentional or not, it is directed towards humble and mature believers rather than a wider audience. Mr. Piper shows his age using outdated terms such as "marital sexual relations." Excellent book for an advanced audience.

This Momentary Marriage is a book focused on marriage between a man and woman and also between Jesus and His church (bride). At the beginning of each chapter, Mr. Piper includes excerpts from Dietrich Bonhoeffer, an engaged man in 1945 who was killed before he could be married, and Bible Verses. These two help you get a feeling of the chapter as Mr. Piper expounds on his understanding of the Scripture presented.
There are fifteen chapters and some of them are: Staying Married Is Not Mainly about Staying in Love; Naked and Not Ashamed; The Christian Husband as Head: What Does It Mean to Lead?; Singleness, Marriage, and the Christian Virtue of Hospitality; Faith and S*x in Marriage; and my favorite: Marriage Is Meant for Making Children....Disciples of Jesus: How Absolute Is the Duty to Procreate? Since I have 7 children, this was a chapter I definitely wanted to read. He makes a good point by stating "This purpose of marriage is not merely to add more bodies to the planet. The point is to increase the number of followers of Jesus on the planet." He goes on to say that in this fallen world, marrying isn't an absolute calling on all people, and neither is having children for those that do marry. This goes against some that believe the only reason to get married is to have children. I personally believe that God gives you as many children as he sees fit and the best timing for this is when you are married. Mr. Piper also covers divorce and remarriage. Although I do not agree with everything he has said, I would recommend this book for a person, single or married, who wants to learn more about their role in being single or being married. I received this book from Crossway.

John Piper's This Momentary Marriage is one of the best books I have ever read about marriage. Here are a few reasons why . . .

1. I love the biblical focus in Piper's writings. You will not get very far in any Piper book without dealing seriously with texts of Scripture. He doesn't make a point and then support it with proof texts, he points to texts and then draws conclusions from these texts. This is of course because he regards the Bible as the inspired Word of God. A person who does not regard Scripture in this way would probably not connect with this book as so much of what it is saying is tied directly to Scriptural texts, particularly Ephesians 5, 1 Corinthians 7 and Matthew 19.

2. The book is short. Since Piper writes in such a Scripturally-based, point-by-point way, building one argument on another, a short read from him is a relief. I had the sense that I could finish this book in a short enough time period to not forget the earlier chapters as I finished the later chapters. At just 178 pages, it is an easy read in terms of its length.

3. I love the focus on marriage as a picture of Christ's covenant-keeping love with the Church. This brings a significance to marriage that can't be found anywhere else.

4. I love the realistic perspective on marriage this book brings. Piper says he waited 40 years to write this book because he didn't feel ready at 10, 20 or 30 years of marriage to write it. But at 40 years of marriage, he realized he'd never have it all together so he wrote the book. Piper is honest about his struggles in marriage without minimizing the great blessing marriage has brought to his life.

5. I love the eternal perspective of this book. It is seen in the title and throughout the text. This is not a marriage book where marriage is viewed as what life is all about. Piper says life is all about Christ and marriage serves as a means to glorify Christ.

6. I like the fact that Piper takes biblical stands on controversial issues. His positions on gender roles and divorce and children are all well-defined from a Scriptural standpoint. Thus a biblical Christian must deal with these texts and bring others in as they think through the implications of what Piper concludes. In the end they may still disagree with him about divorce and remarriage, for example, but he forces the reader to think through his argument from Scripture.

7. I like the balanced approach Piper took in the book regarding the marriage relationship. He gave ample time to roles in marriage without making the whole book about roles. He dealt with sex without making the whole book revolve around the sexual relationship in marriage. He did the same with children and parenting and divorce and other subjects. The primary subjects of struggle in marriage were covered without any one subject dominating the book. This was helpful to me.

Overall, a great book well worth reading.

This well-written book feels reactive rather than pro-active in its tone and content. In these pages, an intense and passionate theologian defends his understanding of marriage against a culture in which relationships, including marriage relationships, have become both temporary and disposable.

Piper argues for permanence. This book is a spirited and sharply-worded defense of the together-for-life mindset that informed most marriages even a few generations ago. Today, western cultural values have shifted so completely that Piper's reaction may surprise readers who are under 30 and well-connected with current social norms.

This is not a "how to strengthen your marriage book." Instead it's a theological framework that insists your marriage is not about love or romance or affection but instead about a steely resolve to keep your promise and to abide by a sacred covenant. This is not a flowers-and-chocolate, learn-how-to-communicate-better kind of book, it's a you-have-no-option-but-staying-together book.

As a family counselor, I especially appreciate Piper's encouragement that married couples should include single adults in their world, involving and including them in family events and community life. YES. Marriage is not the only model for healthy adulthood; single people can and should live their lives knowing that they are whole, valuable, and needed.

As a person of faith, I applaud Piper's understanding of marriage also. This would be a great book for pastors to read as they prepare sermons about relationships, or as they prepare to counsel pre-married couples.

What I'd like to see prescribed here is a little more affection, a little more woo. I'd like to see husbands genuinely and frequently acting out "I love you with all my heart" while they also authentically live out "I am committed to you for life." I'm guessing Piper believes in that too, but affection gets short attention in these pages.

Dr. David Frisbie
The Center for Marriage & Family Studies
Author of "The Soul-Mate Marriage" and other books

I would recommend this book to everyone! Whether you are married or single, and especially before you get married, you should read it to understand what you are committing to. Piper explains what God intended marriage to be and how beautiful marriage truly is.

178 pages of great writing is what is contained in this book. Piper hits a home run. Though we may find minor details about which to quibble, I am convinced that Piper has done us all a service by writing this book.

This Momentary Marriage (hence TMM) is the fruit of Piper's forty years of marriage as well as many years of Bible study. He gives to us the voice of Scripture and experience.

Piper reminds us that marriage is not all about love. Marriage is not sustained by staying in love. Marriage is about covenant keeping.

Piper takes us to the Garden, to the Cross, to the altar, to the marriage bed, and to divorce court. In every place he tells us what the Word of God tells us, and in every place he calls us to strive for permanence in our marriages because it is God's revealed will for us.

Piper reminds us that marriage is to show forth Christ and His church. Thus it is that the relationships within marriage serve to glorify God. It is also in this that we find many characteristics that should be found in the lives and hearts of husbands and wives.

Piper calls upon us to remember that we are to be fruitful and multiply, as God has commanded us. TMM gives us a nudge in the direction of child training by reminding us that the goal of Christian child bearing is to make children disciples of Jesus.

In the end, Piper discusses divorce. Granted, Piper's views are a little more stringent than those of even most conservative evangelicals and fundamentalists today. At the same time, agree or disagree, Piper argues his point well by calling us to remember that Jesus is faithful to His bride. He then calls for us to have the same covenant faithfulness in our own marriages.

It is my wish that this become a classic book on the subject of marriage.

It's that good!