Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right

This book is quite offensive on several accounts:

1. It asserts the fact that men act only in certain ways (ex: they are not truly shy, they just don't like you, men don't get shy)
2. It claims that women must be feminine to get a man who will ultimately marry her
3. It completely rids the woman of taking ANY charge in her dating life. You must not approach a man, text/call a man, ask a man to dance. Sure, these things will deter a potential date if they are performed too desperately, but showing interest does not equate to desperation.

I returned this book based on the fact that it will work only for certain women trying to attract certain types of men. I am not one of those women. And I do not date the men this book is aiming for you to date.

The Rules book is a great foundation for anyone that is dating and looking for a quality man to keep. I bought this book to read before I read the "Not Your Mothers Rules". This is a must read if you are looking to find a quality man, and want to keep him.

The book might seem a bit old fashioned but these are "time tested secrets" that will never get old.

I would recommend after reading this book, reading the updated version "Not Your Mother's Rules". Using them in combination, you will find out that in no time you will become a rules lady, and find the perfect man. Easy read, and great information!

I actually purchased this book for a friend. She has expressed to me how much she has enjoyed reading it, and how she has received some great advice in this book which she has put into use in her dating life.

Another friend had read this book many years ago and suggested it for anyone dating.

From these 2 friends... the feedback is that it is a great book with wonderful information. They both also expressed that there are some parts which they do not want to put into practice. So they each used what parts helped them, and they both loved the information.

I definitely suggest this book as great dating advice from all that these friends have expressed about it.

I actually purchased this book for a friend. She has expressed to me how much she has enjoyed reading it, and how she has received some great advice in this book which she has put into use in her dating life.

Another friend had read this book many years ago and suggested it for anyone dating.

From these 2 friends... the feedback is that it is a great book with wonderful information. They both also expressed that there are some parts which they do not want to put into practice. So they each used what parts helped them, and they both loved the information.

I definitely suggest this book as great dating advice from all that these friends have expressed about it.

Ladies need to read this if they are serious about having the right man in their life. This book puts things in perspective and helps you weed out the ones you don't want to keep. Some ladies get desperate and compromise on their ideals and morals, this book encourages you to wait for the right ones and dump the ones with bad behavior. Face it they way someone acts during dating is their best behavior as they try to see if you are the one for them.

I love this book because of the empowering tone. I think the author laid a great foundation for dating rules but really helps women to understand their worth and value. I love the author's courage and how she helps women to understand that they are the prize!!! Very well written and very, very good information.

I gave it 4 stars because the bottom line concept of the book is good! And that is 'Do not chase men.' From my experience that seems to be true. The relationships in which the men pursued me seemed to be better ones. I think that's because of the nature of men. They love challenge.

In saying that I'm not saying to follow the book word by word; for example, don't call him and rarely return his calls (Rule 5). I'd say follow up to a point. In this case call sometimes (but not like every single day). As far as returning his call, I'd say you should..as a courtesy.

If you have the 'do not chase men' mentality while reading this book, I think you'll get the most out of it. You can sort through some off-the-wall recommendations and pick other reasonable ones as a guideline. 'How' you do it could come from your own creativity, style and personality. The book just represents how to from the authors' perspective. Their how to might sound absurd at times, but that does not discount the bottom line concept of 'do not chase men.'

Is this what our generation has sunk to? Using tricks and plots to get a man to marry us. That's sad. Women we must relocate our backbones and learn there is a season for everything. Your time is coming, but reading books like these is putting the focus on the wrong things. If you have to follow all these rules to get a good man, what will you have to do to keep him? Any women can find a man to marry her (thanks to lust, infatuation, money, vanity) but not many women can get him to stay.

As they say, how you catch him is how you lose him. If you truly want a happy marriage work on yourself. God will put the right man in your life when YOUR READY!

God Bless!

Although parts may make you think you need to behave as if you were in the 50s, this book shares some real insight about what men want, and how different they are from women. I may not be married, but I have been in a wonderful relationship for the past 4 1/2 years with the same guy and I attribute my success to this book. After reading this book, I know that I should never get too comfortable, and that it's good to be occasionally unavailable. I have recommended this book to all my single friends...young and old, and I am a "Rules" girl.

This is the second time I purchase The Rules book. Read it, believe it, and practice because it works...It's ashame we females have to play dirty, but we didn't invent the game, only trying to survive and win

Reading The Rules was like sitting in the dental chair - it was painful! I forced myself to read the book because last year I read, He's Just Not That into You. I expected to hate that book, too, but I didn't. It was just so laugh out loud funny that I couldn't help but like it. Also, the message was clear, albeit simplistic; if a man isn't calling you, he's just not interested.

The Rules is definitely retro. I've heard it described as a book that advocates women going back to the fifties. True enough, but not the 1950s -- the 1850s! I could easily imagine Jane Austen writing this book and young women waiting for their gentleman callers in their mother's parlor.

For those who are not familiar with the material, The Rules are a set of guidelines for women to follow that are designed to prevent them from enduring heartbreak and rejection in love. They consist of the following suggestions:

-- Don't speak to a man first in a social setting. Don't ask him to dance, don't stare at him and definitely, don't call him on the phone! A Rules girl needs to play hard to get.

-- After a man calls you up, don't accept a date unless he's giving you ample notice. And don't return his phone call if he happens to get your voicemail. You don't want to seem too eager.

-- Clearly, having sex is not an option. You must wait several months, meanwhile seeing the man no more than two to three times a week. And you will be certified as a suicide relationship bomber if you initiate sex! Don't pay for the date, don't meet him halfway and -- get this -- don't talk on the phone for more than 10 minutes every time he calls you. Pretend to have something else to do so that you seem busy.

-- If you want a man to marry you, don't live with him. Hold out for that ring.

Now, before you dismiss all of this as preposterous, as I was tempted to do, keep in mind that the purpose of the book is to prevent women from suffering. The authors argue that men and women are biologically different and as a result, men need to pursue women. If they don't initiate, they will lose interest. If women don't play hard to get, they will never instill a sense of chronic longing in their man. Moreover, The Rules encourages women to be busy and independent, so that they won't view their man as the center of their existence.

As a longtime feminist who has broken all of the rules all of my life, I must concede that some of them may have merit. Whether it's biological or sociocultural, men are different from women. There is still a double standard in society. If a guy goes after a women for a year and she shows no interest in him, he is simply persistent. If a woman does the same thing, she's desperate. There's no term for a man who "chases" women because that's what a guy is supposed to do (I'm not talking about a womanizer or a stalker. I'm talking about an ordinary guy going after an ordinary girl/women.) Why is the word "chase" always used in reference to women, kind of like the words "loose" or "easy?" (Heard of any men who were called sluts recently? I rest my case.)

Now, I think that the double standard is completely wrong and that's why I've always violated it. However, the end result has often been that I have pursued men who were not interested in me, or how end up being quite passive later on in the relationship. In my book, D'Amour Road, my main character has an unrequited crush on a younger man. That scenario resulted directly from my interest in this topic of women pursuing men. Theoretically, it's a good thing. The sexes should be equal. In all of my interactions with men, I always try to treat them the same way that Itreat females. But the sad fact is that they're not females, especially when it comes to sex and romance.

So if The Rules sounds antiquated, they are. But that doesn't mean that they may not be effective. I can't imagine following them all religiously, particularly the one about not returning a man's phone call, which seems incredibly rude. But I can see embracing a modified version of The Rules for self-protection and to simplify my life.

Let's face it. If a guy is interested in me or in you, he can pick up the phone. How hard is that? If we as women keep making the first move -- which should be our right -- how will we know if the man was interested beforehand? Is it just responding to our friendliness? Fein also cautions against revealing too much about yourself during the first month or two. Sounds Stepfordish but if you think about it, why do we need to tell anyone who is brand-new in our life all about the baggage that we carry around day in and day out? That's true of new female friends, new male friends or budding relationships.

Yes, The Rules are at least 150 years out of date and they are extremely irritating and disheartening to anyone with a feminist or postmodern perspective, but I found them to have *some* redeeming value. And I'm going to test some of them out, just for the hell of it.

Sigrid Mac

Author of D'Amour Road

The times they are a changing! Some of the rules in this book have stood the test of time but I'd say about half of them are outdated. I have found the love of my life, but I didn't follow all of these rules exactly to get him. If he's the one for you, you don't need to play games or try to be someone you're not. Just be yourself and be happy and content with yourself and you'll attract your soul mate.

After my divorce my girlfriend recommended this book. I didn't realize, I was breaking ALL the rules. Great guide to help you realize you don;t need to settle. The guy for you and only you is out there.

This book lays down the rules that when followed will increase your self-esteem and enable you to have quality relationships. In no way is manipulation or deception being touted in this writing. I have read this book and put it to work and have reaped it's benefits. Men want to be special and want assurance that they are like no other man in their women's eyes. This book shows you how to prove that to them. This book gives guidelines of how to assure us that we can attain and provide quality relationships. I for one was at a loss as to what to do. I have joined the dating scene again at 50 years old. I realized that everything I have done in my life so far has NOT worked. As uncomfortable as it was I decided to try these Rules and trust in them when I could not trust in myself and past behavior. I practiced these rules while at the same time being kind, warm and loving. These rules are not about being abusive or neglectful to our prospective mates....or anyone in our lives for that matter. They are worth trying.