Deeply Moving Story of an Emotionally Lost Child Who Found His Way Back

An excellent example by Virginia Axline of how Pay Therapy can successfully be used in children. A book that can be read and enjoyed not only by those in therapeutic profession but also by parents and teachers.

Great book for mental health professionals working with children. As a counselor, I gleaned many insights to the process of play therapy. Also, the book is very well-written. You'll fall in love with this kid!

This was a very interesting true story of a young boy named Dibs. Thought to be mentally deficient on some level, Dibs was extremely lucky to be taken under the watchful eye of 'Mrs A', and through the use of play therapy was able to blossom and thrive as the very special individual that he is. Well worth the read, and a lesson for all of us that there is always more to a person than meets the eye!

From the outside looking in, the book seemed in good condition and such but as I started to read it, the binding started to come apart and a good portion of the pages began to fall out. Please, take your time choosing the seller you purchase from.

First published as long ago as 1964, DIBS: IN SEARCH OF SELF remains a powerful testament to the potential of everyone to realize their potential, provided they are given the time, space, and encouragement to do so.

Dibs is a five-year-old child with severe behavioral problems. He will not talk to his parents, and spends most of his time at school hidden under the table away from his fellow-learners, while refusing to respond to educator encouragement. His condition has become so acute that his mother believes he is suffering from mental retardation.

In desperation he is taken to Virginia Axline (whom Dibs calls Miss A.) who works with him in a special playroom every Thursday. No one else is allowed to enter that space; Dibs has the chance both to avail himself of the toys and to converse in any way he likes. Miss A. restricts her comments to recapitulating what Dibs says without trying to speculate any further.

At the beginning the sessions prove difficult for Dibs and Miss A. alike; but over the two years of consultations, they both come to know something about themselves and how they respond to the world around them. Dibs is no mental retard, but a highly intelligent child who hitherto has been brought up in a repressive environment by parents who displace their own marital difficulties on to him. They continually abuse him verbally and shut him away in locked rooms, while simply buying commodities in an effort to escape the responsibility of actually caring for him.

In time the parents learn something about the importance of love and respect; they might not be ideal for Dibs, but at least by the end of the book they have come to understand the need to really listen to him, rather than making (often erroneous) assumptions about the way he thinks and feels.

Structured as a series of transcripts of each session with minimal authorial intrusion, DIBS IN SEARCH OF SELF is an inspirational work showing how all of us have the capacity to realize our potential, so long as we can create the environment in which to do so. We should learn to love one another - not in a particularly physical sense, but in a spiritual way, realizing that the human consciousness is a delicate yet fragile mechanism that needs the time and space to develop in its own way.

The material might be culture-specific - taking place in New York in the mid-Sixties - but the lessons the book teaches us are timeless. Perhaps we can become better people if we pay due attention to it.

The story of Dibs is obviously a very enthralling nonfiction piece of a emotionless boy who found his way back into normal state. I loved the way the author wrote from the viewpoint of the story. This book is beautifully created and very touching, focusing on how any ‘useless’ living things can be transformed into lasting joy. It’s written by V. Axline (or Miss A. as Dibs says).
It’s actually about Dibs, a 5-year-old boy with an IQ of 168 who suddenly clams up and stops talking - playing - or socializing. It is said earlier in the book a doctor claimed Dibs to be mentally retarded, and through his physical body language and speech, I thought then that the doctor was right. But he wasn’t. Axline, through an amazing journey through Dibs’ recovery, found out that it was his parents’ fault - for putting him through such battle-weary IQ and EQ tests. They were cold and demanding, and Dibs clammed up and shut himself up because of them.
I remember a significant part of the book where Dibs is in the play-therapy room. In a play with the therapy-dolls, Dibs shows his articulate anger through them. He reverses the parent-child role and 'makes' the 'mother' doll build a mountain upon the instruction of the 'boy' doll.
"It is too hard to do," said Dibs. "Nobody can build a mountain. But I'll make her do it. She'll have to build the mountain and do it right. There is a right way and wrong way of doing things and you will do it the right way."
This remarkably moving and honest book is a book to remember. It taught me a lot about hidden compassion and love. I will recommend this for everyone who’s desperate for more good reads.

Reading the jacket and "about the author" section prior to reading the book let me in to the fact that Dibs would be a success story. After all, one would not expect a pioneer in Play Therapy to write about a failure in that particular field (thank you for pointing that out Ms. Ban). The book is entertaining in the same way a mystery novel is entertaining--slowly, as Ms. A gains Dibs' trust, we understand the frustrations of living in a family intent on keeping up appearances. Indeed, one can assume that the more "trouble" Dibs is to the family, the more they try to cover their problem child up, making matters even worse...but I digress. The evolution of Dibs from a totally introverted ball of anger, confusion, and fear into an outgoing, affectionate genius makes it as gripping as a fast paced fiction novel, but it warms the heart as well. What other reviewers point out holds true as well--if people took the time to listen and extend a helping hand, especially to those who are introverted or "trouble cases", this world would be much better.

I have many relatives who are teachers and one read this book the winter I was in second grade and gave me a synopsis of it. Naturally, my curiosity was piqued, so I decided to read the book. The following fall, I, then 8, read the book. And read it and read and read it again! It was my first "adult" book and it touched my heart deeply. It was my very best book for the next 5 years. I loved "Dibs" so much that I was, at 8, able to quote whole passages by memory and find myself thinking about Dibs long after I reread a beloved passage yet again. I loved this book so much that I wore out my first copy and had to replace it (at 11). It has a place of honor on my bookshelf today. I truly love this wonderful book and feel it has made a postive difference in the lives of others. A little child shall lead them -- gifted Dibs has led many people into a whole new area of acceptance. It is to the author's credit she does not condemn Dibs with a psychiatric label. Dibs is allowed to move and grow and like a mighty falcon, soar! THIS IS TRULY AN OUTSTANDING BOOK!

A wonderful book that beautifully illustrates the power of play therapy and reveals the marvelous strength of the human spirit. This book is not about blame or autism, as suggested by one reviewer who has issues that colored their reading. It is about the potential for self-discovery and about hope. Dibs is an inspiration to all who search for personal growth, meaning in their lives, and a true self-identity. A very moving and profound story, full of wisdom, and abundant with heart. Is this book still in print? Oh, yes, and for many years to come because of its unique message of hope.

This book is a classic example of the "refrigerator mother" school of thought. In the fifties and sixties, psychologists decided that children with autism had been emotionally abused; their parents had "rejected" them. Today, most informed people recognize this theory for the nonsense it was, as more and more evidence has mounted to conclusively demonstrate that autism is a disorder of genetic etiology. But Axline and her ilk never considered any objective "evidence" about children like Dibs or their parents. As these self-promoting, self-aggrandizing saviors heaped ridicule and condemnation on parents, they ineveitably painted themselves as loving, warm, nurturing healers. Read "Dibs" and note just how often, and how sickeningly, the author dwells on her own incredibly warm insights, as she is excoriating that poor mother. This book is dangerously outdated. Mothers and fathers who are already confused and suffering as they struggle to understand and cope with their child's differences do not need this kind scapegoating and demonizing. Why, as one informed reader asked below, is this book still in print?

As a bookworm growing up, I pretty much read everything I could get my hands on, including all my mother's college textbooks and required reading. My mother went to college to become a nurse when I was in elementary school and this is one of the books that made it's way home with her. Since I had already been reading her child psychology textbooks, she gave me this to read. I fell in love with the book and I've read it at least one hundred times since then. I never tire of it. The true story of this amazing and misunderstood little boy will touch your heart.

This book doesn't blame anyone's parents for mental illness. I read this book while getting a psych degree in college and it stood out for the real care and empathy the author feels for her patient. She draws no conclusions about Dibs' parenting- she is disappointed that his parents are not as involved in the care and therapy of Dibs as she might wish. Axline finds expressions of the universal struggles of growing up in Dibs and tries to be of help. She works with Dibs and doesn't just give him a label and dismiss him as unreachable. Any resemblance of Dibs' problems to the modern diagnosis of autism is missing the point of the book entirely.

are you people honestly saying that by reading a condensed version of therapy sessions you can diagnose a child with 100% accuracy? admit for just one second that this intelligent woman is capable of seeing things that you might not see. i'm not claiming to be an expert, because i'm only a college psych student with little experience with autism, asperger's, or even emotional disturbance, but are you saying that the way a parent treats a child cannot have severe effects on their self-image and expression? childhood trauma is real, and you don't know what really happened in this child's home. there is a possibility virginia axline may have been wrong, but let's admit for a second that we don't know everything. if you read this book as a depiction of the struggle any of us can go through as we learn, grow, and become comfortable with our own selves, it is an amazing read. there is very little commentary on the symbolism of dibs' play, leaving so much room to learn about ourselves! i loved reading this book. luckily, there are still enough people in this world who see the beauty of this book to keep it in print.

Virginia, your book touched my life like no other book has...other than the Bible. I discovered myself when I read this book. Finally, after years of emotional confusion, I can express what I am going through emotionally. I now know that my exceptional intelligence has guarded and protected me from the social world around me. I now understand that I must develop my social person as well as my intellectual person. I am needing the "balance" you talked about in your book.I have two very dear nephews that struggle with the same issues that Dibbs does. I have strived to help my nephews develop their intellectual awareness of the world around them. Unfortunately, I have been unable to help my nephews socially integrate with their peers and teachers. My younger nephew gets kicked out of school constantly. Both of my nephews have genius I.Q.'s. They remind me so much of Dibs. I have often wondered the value of such high intelligence. You stated in your book that you had at one point wondered this as well. It seems to me that society and our schools are so unwilling to accept another's gifts...thus quelching talents that were given by God to be a blessing to all. Once again, Virginia, Thank You For This Book and for your hard work that developed these concepts. I would love to hear from you if you should ever read this note. Gratefully, Christina Shields

As a practicing oncologist I deal with peoples struggles for their life.This is another story about an individual's struggle to take control of their life.In some other reviews of this book I think the readers missed the basic concept. This is not a book that blames parents for their childrens psychological problems, rather it points out the power of conversations and actions on another human beings emotional well being. Especially the power during early childhood when the individual is developing his or her self concept.It should remind us all that the conversations we have about people including ourselves can alter a life. The pivotal point for Dibbs was acceptance of his self expression by a talented psychologist then himself and finally his parents. In the epilogue the letter Dibbs writes points it out beautifully.I recommend it highly for all those interested in the triumph of the human spirit.

I found this book very thought provoking,we all need to take a step back and realise what pressures we are putting on our children today.Dibs parents particularly his mother wanted him to perform to her expectations and never allowed him to simply be himself.I thoroughly enjoyed this book ,it was written in simple terms which any lay person would understand,wasn't sure when purchasing it if it would be as the author is a highly educated therapist.Highly recommend it to anyone who is starting a career in working with children who have special needs,or indeed anyone who has an interest in psychology.

This is a fascinating book on play therapy. It presents the story of a child, session by session, and how he turned from a troubled little boy to a wonderfully stable child. It is written in plain English, very understandable for people with no training in psychology.

I read dibs when i was a freshman in highschool. Now a sophmore in college, I need to go back and make reference to this touching book. The book touched upon so many emotions. i think it is amazing how one person can make such a big difference on one child's life.

Dibs in Search of Self is moving and enduringly popular.
However it helps to perpetuate one of the longest lasting myths
in the Mental Health profession. Dibs is AUTISTIC. He is not emotionally disturbed, and his condition is caused by a neurological disorder, rather than by his cruel parents. In fact, Ms. Axline actually is cruel to the parents by blaming them for a biological, neurolgical condition that today is seen as most likely due to a genetic cause.
I am distressed to see the reviews of all the well intentioned readers who are unfamiliar with Autism. Studies show that nearly no autistic children who received play therapy alone as a treatment intervention emerge from their autism. Dibs is one of the few such cases ever. Every behavior Ms. Axline describes, from difficulty making transitions, poor eye contact, pronoun reversals, delayed language development, poor play skills, poor peer relatedness, precotious reading, high intelligence but uneven performance, delayed motor skills (his poor coordination, per Axline is sympotamatic of being "tied up in knots" emotionally, rather than the truthful, gross and fine motor delays), and the delayed self help skills- such as taking off his coat, are all classically sympomatic of and autistiv spectrum disorder diagnosis.
The book is disengenuous to characterize this problem as emotional. Autistic children do have emotions and inner lives. Sadly, thousands have wasted years of potentially fruitful behavioral treatment based on the misleading information in this book. I suggest to any reader who is truly interested in autism to spend some time researching recent books and not one which conveys many of the erroneous fallacies of the past.
Based on this erroneous assumption of the 50's and 60's, that Autism was caused by cold and rejecting parents, "refridgerator mothers", the entire medical profession failed to do ANY medical Autism research until the last ten years. Only now are scientists revealing the biological causes of Dibs atypical behavior and helping to find a cure. Thanks to Axline's false assumptions, the parents of Dibs were blamed for a medical condition, their grief or inability to relate to a son who did not respond to anyone, was blamed on them- and thousands of other autistic "Dibs" who did not repsond to Axline's magic wand were condemned to live out life untreated. As with other neurolgical disorders, such as strokes, behavior modification is the primary treatment of Autism today and has yielded very positive results for many children. Hopefully one day we will have a cure.

This was a really insightful book. I agree that Dibs probably did have an autism spectrum disorder. While I don't claim to be an expert, I have two autistic cousins and have done extensive research about autism. I could be wrong but the behavior and speech patterns match with that of a mildly autistic person; this is also supported by his good command of language but poor use of words at times. Autistic people have had success with play therapy, diet therapy etc. so it is possible.
At any rate, it was a good book that delved into solving a young boys' emotional and subsequently social difficulties.

Virginia Axline's moving 'Dibs in Search of Self' has probably impacted my life more than any other book I have read. I read this book at age 16, while in my first year as a summer camp counselor. The empathy and emotion she shows in her writing struck a chord with me, and inspired me to take a similar look at helping children. I am now studying to become a child psychologist. I have worked with children with Autism, ADHD, anxiety, and depression, and I can attest to the reality of the thoughts, reactions, and emotions of both child and therapist. This book is a seminal work, and I recommend it to anyone who works with children.

This review is in reply to the reviewer who suggested that Dibs problem was that he was autistic, not emotionally troubled. As a psychologist familiar with both autism and emotional impairment, my opinion is that Dibs clearly suffered from an attack on his selfhood--his spirit. I do agree that to blame parents for a neurological disorder such as autism is wrong! However, isn't it possible that the symptoms Dibs displayed were from emotional impairment, not autism? (neuroscience suggests that lack of contact/affection CAN impair the brain in areas related to emotional regulation, for example). Also, how do you explain the incredible disparity between Dibs behavior with Miss A (where he felt safe) and his father (where he didn't)? This book is a remarkable testimony to the human spirit.

I have read this book for multiple psychology and counseling courses, and for good reason. Axline is able to weave together a powerful, moving story about the pain of risk taking, and the power of growth.

I feel it is likely that student-therapists learn about the potential power of child centered play therapy, which Axline helped to create. The experiential nature of this book is a nice contrast to other texts that are more cerebral and didactic.