I'm OK--You're OK

Excellent framework for therapy and for interacting with others. A good companion to Games People Play. Important to use these ideas without too much overuse of the terminology, though, as I think people find it off-putting.

I purchased this book after someone explained to me about the theory the author writes about. I thought it would be interesting but not life changing. However, it was life changing!!!

The book helps put life in perspective with a very simple P-A-C theory. (Parent, Adult, Child) I believe the book is so good I just ordered a second copy for my grown daughter and gave my copy to my youngest daughter.

The book does have a few cons though. 1) it as written a long time ago and many of the examples are very outdated. 2) first chapter is very dry and those with no formal psychology training may become lost. 3) last chapter is kinda silly.

However, the theories in this book are worth the read for anyone looking for some answers about their own behavior and others in their lives. (read this one first and then read Games people play, for a full look at this theory!)

A profound yet simple explanation of how we humans communicate in transactions. Well written (not wordy)
with good examples to clarify ideas. A useful guide to help us get along with others whether kin, friends,
people where we work, or just acquaintances.

Is this a valid today as ever. A very insightful and well presented view of our behavioral's. I recently use the book as a guide and a primer for a one on one counseling session, rather sessions and I provided the catalyst needed for an insightful exchange of ideas and attitudes. In some areas it's a bit outdated and I do disagree with his over emphasis on the child and the importance-actually the overwhelming importance of the child. I really feel and hope that we have all become more adult and cannot only act But communicate in an adult manner.

The book gives very essential answers to people's life struggles. Just need to apply it in real life. Obviously it's not a quick fix book but would make ready to become healthier. Very informative and helpful.

This is a good introduction to the field and practice of Transactional Analysis, but like its subject, is so outdated as to be of little use besides as a historical document. We've learned so much about how the brain works since the time of publication that it makes more sense to rely on more recent sources.

Still had some good insights though.

The Child, Parent, Adult nomenclature makes the book's mantra "I'm OK, you're OK" much more easily understood than by using the Freudian concepts of ego, superego etc. So far, so good. The idea of the child being born into the world in a "I'm not OK, you're OK" position was also interesting, and provoking, providing a plausible explanation for why children of abusers or criminals so easily follow in their parents' footsteps. I also appreciated the concept of trying to level a dialogue by striving for adult to adult dialogue to ensure an atmosphere of trust and understanding. The book also provides comfort to the reader about the possibilities of change and the positive outcomes of involving not only the person looking for help but also individuals constituting the close network of that person.

So why only two stars? Well, the examples provided, and the value system exposed in them, seemed not only fifty years old but a century old. In the ambition of providing clear cut examples, the author dug too deep into the fabric of the late sixties' society, with the not desired effect of weakening the arguments by providing concise examples. It became impossible to disregard the attitudes about women and marriage, the view upon racial conflicts or (to a lesser degree, but still) the views regarding sexuality. I haven't read any work by Freud, but it would be interesting to see whether his work has also been as severly tainted by the passing of time, but judging from the interest in his work, I would think not.

The concept of Child, Parent, and Adult is interesting as is the field of Transactional Analysis, but without knowing, I'm certain there are other books, possibly by the author, which are either more contemporary or simply better argued, books that a reader would feel more at ease with, and where the examples provided would do better justice to this field of psychology.

GREAT READ.
EVERYBODY SHOULD READ AT LEAST ONCE.
THIS BOOK HAS BEEN AROUND FOR A LONG TIME.
GIVES A TON OF USEFUL INFORMATION.

SELLER WAS EXTREMELY FAST WITH SHIPPING. CONDITION OF BOOK WAS GOOD FOR SECONDHAND.
THANKS SO MUCH!

I find this breakdown of our human nature -
parent, adult, child - to be very helpful in
recovery for victims of abuse or addicts.
It is simple, straightforward and easy to apply
to one's self. I used it myself back when it was
first written. It is still helpful after all these years.

This book is of historical interest only. The "science behind it" is Claude Steiner's stimulation of the brains of conscious patients; these patients would recall in extreme detail memories of events from their lives. Harris tells us that every trivial memory is recorded as with a tape recorder; this view of memory is outdated. TA has undoubtedly helped some people, but there are better theories available. I urgently recommend Seymour Epstein: Cognitive-Emotive Theory, available for ten bucks if you look around. I give it three stars for the quality of the presentation, but the theory isn't worth much. I didn't reread it, giving up after seeing the basis of his theory.

The "I'm OK--You're OK" isn't really practical. Some days I feel great; others I am in the dumps; the OKayness ratings fluctuate from day to day and are rarely all one or the other. Our minds aren't that simple!

I read this book when it first came out, and at first I was thoroughly believing the theory. When he started subdividing his "ego states" of P/A/C, saying that within each state there is a state like "the child within the parent" or "the adult within the adult," I recognized it as BS. The theory never helped me. More useful to me was Eric Berne's Games People Play, if only for plots of novels; his "games," like Queen Bee, are easily recognized in the plots of movies and maybe in life as well. His games "Yes, but..." and "Let's you and him fight" are worth the price of the book in themselves.

Get Epstein's book! Hope this helps.