You Don't Have to Say You Love Me by Sarra Manning (2011-02-03)

This was a good book with very likeable, human characters. I had a harder time losing myself in the story because it is set in the UK, which I would forget until there was some jarring reference to it. (I'm from the US.) I'm also not into fashion, so the references to the main character's work in the fashion industry weren't interesting to me. Both just personal preference, however. This was a good book, and I enjoyed it, but I probably won't read it again.

The story lagged the characters were beyond flawed and honestly no one would put up with any of them. The author didn't know when to stop drawing everything out and just get to the point already that I only finished it because I always finish a book I start. Don't waste your time or money.

The Premise
Neve is terrified of blowing it with Will, her idealized man, the person she connected with on an intellectual level before he left for California three years ago and she began her journey to transforming her life and her body. Will is due to come back in six months, and her sister Celia points out that if Neve wants William to think she's an experienced love-goddess and not the fumbling, awkward girl he left behind, then she'd better get some, well, experience. So she decides to embark on a “pancake” relationship with Max - you know, that first kind of wonky pancake that everyone throws out. Who better to do it with than Celia's colleague Max. Wicked, shallow, sexy Max. And since he's such a man-slut, and so not Neve's type, she certainly won't fall for him. Because William is the man for her... right?

My (jumbled) Thoughts
An emotional bit of Brit Chick Lit that I thoroughly enjoyed, You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me is a full length novel that takes its time but once it hooks you in, you can’t help but flip page after page hoping for the best for these two. Sometimes it’s the needy, prickly gals that I connect to and Neve fits that bill. Neve isn’t the easiest heroine to love, though in this case that makes her more interesting to me. She’s obsessive, neurotic, loving, tormented, funny, with a severe case of body dysmorphic disorder that affects everything in her life.

Neve wasn’t just fat,not just pleasantly plump. She was legitimately morbidly obese, weighing over 320 lbs at her heaviest. She has battled to regain her body (she loses essentially half of her body weight) and her life and I think it’s a difficult situation for those who’ve never dealt with being overweight to understand. There is a certain amount of obsession that she actually needs to have about her weight, because she is terrified of falling back down that slippery slope and ending up back where she started. This can lead to frustration, when her myopic view of her body and inability to see for herself how it’s transformed, that fascinated me because I can relate to that on some levels.

Max is a good beta type of hero, and beta isn’t a bad word in my book - he’s dealing with his own emotional issues, and inability to get close to people. He’s the male version of the slutty, low self-esteem girl. He has trouble establishing relationships and is the good time guy that no one bothers to look below the surface, as they seem to believe that’s all there. Much of the story is seen through Neve’s eyes, but what you do see of Max was great.

No one sees that deeply into Max, but he sees her, flaws and all and you can feel it when he falls for her. Max sees beyond Neve’s defenses, and the story builds slowly, as you see Neve and Max begin to connect on a deeper level over the course of months. Max and Neve don’t completely trust each other at the start, and you get to see them screw up and get back up, since this isn’t about “hey, she lost a shedload of weight and everything is now fantastic!” kind of a story.

I think it’s a credit to Ms. Manning that Neve is still sympathetic, even if she can be hard to deal with, especially right before she has her epiphany about herself and her life. I think if you can get to that point though, when she finally realizes what is important - and it’s not a number on the scale, it’s worth the journey.

The setting is one of my favorites, and picturing the different locations in London that Neve and Max go to during their pancake courtship really brings the whole story to life. I enjoyed the secondary characters, even seeing Neve’s nemesis from school, now married to her brother, still torturing her and making her feel like her old self, serves a purpose to the story.

The Bottom Line
A messy, (relatively) realistic emotional journey between two flawed characters learning to accept themselves and each other. I really liked it and I’d definitely recommend it.

Neve used to be greatly overweight. She's been in love with William for years, but he is currently in CA for several years (the story is set in England). They email and snail mail regularly. While William is gone, Neve embarks on a journey to lose weight, eat healthy, and work out. She is close to her goal of a size 10, having lost about 170 lbs. William is coming back in a few months when Neve realizes she has never been in a relationship and should have some experience with that before he comes back.
Enter Max. Max is a man-whore who has no interest in being in a relationship. Neve proposes what she terms a "pancake relationship", meaning it's a test relationship that gets thrown away, much like the first pancake that is cooked. This works well for both of them. They agree not to have sex or hold hands, but other than that, they would be together. Neve and Max begin to sleep together (just sleep), Neve gets to know Max's dog. And they become more and more comfortable together. Neve has some serious self-esteem and body issues, the confident and composed Max is perfect for her. He is fun and supportive and a great boyfriend to her. When they go away together on a long weekend, we find Max has some things in his life that aren't as perfect as they seem. As they grow closer and become more comfortable together, Neve becomes happier and somewhat more confident. But the clock is ticking on their relationship and William is due back soon...
I recommend this book. It's a cute, enjoyable read. Sometimes I wanted to shake Neve, but generally she is likable, Max is endearing, and the supporting characters are exceptionally well done.

~Reviewed by SUZANNE & posted at Under the Covers Book Blog

Neve Slater has been preparing for the day William will return from LA for three years. In that three years Neve has lost half her body weight and toned up, although she is still no where near her coveted size 10. But, the one thing that Neve still needs to gain if she is going to seduce William with her new trimmer body is some experience, something that she is sadly lacking. Max is the perfect person to experiment with, sexy, charismatic, but ultimately shallow man slut he may be, but she only needs him for a few months before William comes back from L.A., after all, it’s not like she will fall in love with him…right?

What do you get when you put one insecure formerly fat girl and a charming playboy with an adorable dog together? Hilarity, a few bad decisions and a bit of heartbreak, all of which came together and created You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me, which was a very entertaining and enjoyable read.

This book can cross the line a little bit from contemporary romance to chick lit, but only barely as although it was more about Neve developing and changing, it was mostly focused on her love life. But Neve’s development was part of what I loved about this book, she wasn’t perfect and she made some questionable decisions, but that only made me like her more, even when I wanted to shake her. I loved watching Neve develop from insecure, slightly shallow and very lonely to someone with more confidence in herself and in what she wants.

In this book Neve almost had two relationships, one with the untouchable and perfect William and then with Max, the supposedly shallow but sexy ‘pretend’ boyfriend. The relationship with William is mostly just Neve’s cerebral daydreams about what she thinks she wants and what she hopes will happen when Williams gets back from L.A., where as Max is the complete opposite, they have nothing in common but their mutual attraction and are definitely more physical. I am pretty sure you can guess what happens in this book from the blurb just like I did, but that doesn’t make the journey any less interesting and enjoyable to read.

I really liked this book, You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me was funny, romantic and insightful, I will definitely be reading more Sarah Manning in the future.

This is the second book from Sarra Manning that I've read and she is perhaps the only YA romance author I've so far come across that writes characters that I can easily relate to. You don't get the completely glossed over romantic hero or heroine - they are clearly flawed and their thoughts and feelings aren't always politically correct. It's not an unfamiliar story and yes, maybe it was easy to figure out what will happen but she cleverly avoided the cliches you'd expect and you still can't wait to find out what happens in the next chapter, and the next and so on ... I like that they didn't "instantly" fell for one another the instant they lock eyes, that the "cad" didn't necessarily change the way he is overnight, that characters aren't necessarily black and white (ie, WAGs, Charlotte, Mum & Dad). Also, support characters were pretty well written and developed as well - they weren't token best friends or what have you.
She treats us readers quite smartly. She didn't have to fill in all the details for us to get what happens/happened (case in point again, Dougie & Charlotte, Fremont, etc) - she teases us enough that we can come up with our own conclusions.
To me it was almost 5 stars but it was quite long - but that said, I can't think of any part that I can do without or was unnecessary. This was more 500 pages yet I managed to finish it in less than 2 days and I'm not a fast reader!

During the first half I was chuckling sooo many times. I was intrigued with the relationship. Very well done. Neve has a masters degree. She has been made fun of most of her life for being overweight. She used to be a size 32. She exercises hard and is strict with food. She is currently about a size 16. Her goal is to be a 10.

Neve has a friendship with William (a professor) who is away for three years. They write and call frequently. Neve is in love with him and hopes he will reciprocate if he sees her as a size 10 when he returns.

Max is good looking and picks up women easily. His coworkers call him a man-slut. He hears Neve talking about having a temporary relationship with a guy so she will be better prepared to have a successful relationship with William when he returns. Max offers himself. This surprised me. The main story is about Max and Neve.

The only part that wasn't as good was when they broke up. But that is not supposed to be fun.

Most of the story is Neve's point of view. We are not in Max's head other than his conversations. That worked fine. And it's 3rd person which I liked. The side characters were nicely done and interesting - Gustav the trainer, the sister, the sister-in-law, and others.

DATA:
Narrative mode: 3rd person. Kindle count story length: 6,918 (696 KB). Swearing language: strong including religious swear words, but not often used. Sexual language: strong, but not often used. Number of sex scenes: about 7. Setting: current day mostly London, England. Copyright: 2011. Genre: contemporary romance.

OTHER BOOKS:
I've reviewed the following Sarra Manning books. Dates are copyright dates.
5 stars. You Don't Have to Say You Love Me 2011
4 ½ stars. Unsticky 2009
2 ½ stars. Let's Get Lost 2006

For the full review including pictures of who I think should play Max if this book were made into a movie visit Bec's Book Blog.
[...]

After reading Unsticky I definitely wanted to keep reading other books by Sarra Manning! I saw that she had another book titled You Don't Have to Say You Love Me so I had to go and get it straight away.

This story revolves around Neve and Max, who live and work in Central London. Neve has been hanging onto her feelings for William, who left 3 years ago and moved to Los Angeles, when she meets Max out at a bar with her sister. It took me 2 day to read this book and while I was reading it, the characters held me completely captive. I really enjoyed how the story unfolded and I just wanted to continue reading so I could find out what happened! Reading this story brought back a lot of good memories of London and reminded me of the 4 years I spent living and working there.

I have rated this book 4.5 stars since I liked it a lot although not quite as much as Unsticky (but I did like the fact that Grace and Vaughn from Unsticky are mentioned in this book).

Shy and bookish Neve Slater has worked hard in the last years to change her life. She has gone from obese to normal but still feels shy when trying to flirt and self-conscious about her body.
In a few months William, whom she has a crush on, is supposed to come home after three years away and Neve wants to impress him with her new figure and a more self-confident personality.
To get used to flirting and being around men she starts a pretend relationship with womanizer Max. Neve doesn't really understand why Max would want to spend time with her but she soon realizes that he is so much more than you can see at first glance. Max is also suprised by how well Neve and he fit together and that he enjoys their time together.
But will their relationship have a real chance once William is back? And will Neve finally learn to like her body?

Since reading "Unsticky" by Sarra Manning a few weeks ago I have been super excited to get "You don't have to say you love me". I had high expectations before starting to read and they were definitely surpassed. I have all this wonderful feelings inside me about this book but have a hard time to phrase them so this review might sound a bit gushy and crazy :)

I adored the main characters Neve and Max because they felt like real people and I cared about them as if they were my friends. I loved Neve right from the first moment I met her in the book however when I first read about Max I thought that he wasn't good enough for her. But only about 10 pages later Sarra Manning had convinced me that Max might indeed be just perfect for Neve and that I would love to learn more about him. And I really did. I was excited for every detail I learned about Neve and Max. Their relationship was complex and never got boring. I loved the way Max tried to make Neve see her body through his eyes and although he was at first glance a very unlikable hero in the end I adored him.
Reading about Neve and her body issues touched me deeply and the way Sarra Manning desribed Neve's fight for a happier life was very powerful and impressive. I sympathised with Neve when she felt insufficient. I enjoyed that Neve had time to change and that the book spanned several months.

I loved meeting some characters from "Unsticky" again but there's no need to read it to understand what's going on or to enjoy "You don't have to say you love me". Of course I would recommend you to get "Unsticky" because I think it's a fabulous book.
I don't want to tell you what happens to Neve, William and Max in the end but I think every reader will know after meeting William and Max who's perfect for Neve and who's only interested in using her.
When I finished reading "You don't have to say you love me" I was very happy and had a big smile on my face. It's definitely a book I will reread in the future because it's enjoyable and I was deeply moved by it. I'm very excited for Sarra Manning's next adult story and will definitely get her YA books because I want to read more by her.

cover
I love it because it looks beautiful and stylish.

final appraisal
A fantastic book from the first sentence on to the last. While reading I had to laugh, smile, cry and swoon. This book is full of interesting characters and I especially loved reading about Neve and Max. Both are fascinating, likable characters and their relationship was complex in a good way. I was very happy when I finished the last sentence.
After reading "Unsticky" and "You don't have to say you love me" I definitely have an author crush on Sarra Manning because her books touch me deeply and are just wonderful.

For the full review including pictures of who I think should play Max if this book were made into a movie visit Bec's Book Blog.
[...]

After reading Unsticky I definitely wanted to keep reading other books by Sarra Manning! I saw that she had another book titled You Don't Have to Say You Love Me so I had to go and get it straight away.

This story revolves around Neve and Max, who live and work in Central London. Neve has been hanging onto her feelings for William, who left 3 years ago and moved to Los Angeles, when she meets Max out at a bar with her sister. It took me 2 day to read this book and while I was reading it, the characters held me completely captive. I really enjoyed how the story unfolded and I just wanted to continue reading so I could find out what happened! Reading this story brought back a lot of good memories of London and reminded me of the 4 years I spent living and working there.

I have rated this book 4.5 stars since I liked it a lot although not quite as much as Unsticky (but I did like the fact that Grace and Vaughn from Unsticky are mentioned in this book).

Shy and bookish Neve Slater has worked hard in the last years to change her life. She has gone from obese to normal but still feels shy when trying to flirt and self-conscious about her body.
In a few months William, whom she has a crush on, is supposed to come home after three years away and Neve wants to impress him with her new figure and a more self-confident personality.
To get used to flirting and being around men she starts a pretend relationship with womanizer Max. Neve doesn't really understand why Max would want to spend time with her but she soon realizes that he is so much more than you can see at first glance. Max is also suprised by how well Neve and he fit together and that he enjoys their time together.
But will their relationship have a real chance once William is back? And will Neve finally learn to like her body?

Since reading "Unsticky" by Sarra Manning a few weeks ago I have been super excited to get "You don't have to say you love me". I had high expectations before starting to read and they were definitely surpassed. I have all this wonderful feelings inside me about this book but have a hard time to phrase them so this review might sound a bit gushy and crazy :)

I adored the main characters Neve and Max because they felt like real people and I cared about them as if they were my friends. I loved Neve right from the first moment I met her in the book however when I first read about Max I thought that he wasn't good enough for her. But only about 10 pages later Sarra Manning had convinced me that Max might indeed be just perfect for Neve and that I would love to learn more about him. And I really did. I was excited for every detail I learned about Neve and Max. Their relationship was complex and never got boring. I loved the way Max tried to make Neve see her body through his eyes and although he was at first glance a very unlikable hero in the end I adored him.
Reading about Neve and her body issues touched me deeply and the way Sarra Manning desribed Neve's fight for a happier life was very powerful and impressive. I sympathised with Neve when she felt insufficient. I enjoyed that Neve had time to change and that the book spanned several months.

I loved meeting some characters from "Unsticky" again but there's no need to read it to understand what's going on or to enjoy "You don't have to say you love me". Of course I would recommend you to get "Unsticky" because I think it's a fabulous book.
I don't want to tell you what happens to Neve, William and Max in the end but I think every reader will know after meeting William and Max who's perfect for Neve and who's only interested in using her.
When I finished reading "You don't have to say you love me" I was very happy and had a big smile on my face. It's definitely a book I will reread in the future because it's enjoyable and I was deeply moved by it. I'm very excited for Sarra Manning's next adult story and will definitely get her YA books because I want to read more by her.

cover
I love it because it looks beautiful and stylish.

final appraisal
A fantastic book from the first sentence on to the last. While reading I had to laugh, smile, cry and swoon. This book is full of interesting characters and I especially loved reading about Neve and Max. Both are fascinating, likable characters and their relationship was complex in a good way. I was very happy when I finished the last sentence.
After reading "Unsticky" and "You don't have to say you love me" I definitely have an author crush on Sarra Manning because her books touch me deeply and are just wonderful.

Standalone
Third person

Neve was fat virgin and in love with William. Unfortunately, he moved to LA for 3 years. Her goal was to lose enough weight to be a UK dress size 10 before he moved back to London. She worked hard and lost most of it. Before William moved back to London she met Max. Max agreed to let her practice having a boyfriend with him so she would have experience when William moved home. It was a great plan. NOT

THIS BOOK IS GREAT. Half-way through it within the day and I truly love it. The characters are hilarious and that's what makes me love it. It's easy to relate to Neve, and at times I want to slap her, but in a good way. Can't wait to see how it ends.

Of the many reasons I LOVED this book, Neve Slater and her horrible body image were especially moving to me. She wears binding undergarments, always has to have her shoulders covered, won't take all her clothes off with her man, puts pillows over her stomach when she's sitting on the sofa, feels she deserves to be treated badly because she's overweight, and so much more that resonates with me and many women I know. Yet, Neve was also feisty, hilarious, sweet, resourceful, emotionally generous and most importantly, determined. I found myself cheering out loud for her, as much as I was snorting with laughter during my 2 days with this book.

Towards the end, I was punching the air and yelling "Go Neevy!" for my girl to get her man and to achieve her goals. She was totally inspiring. And Max, the bad boy, was thoroughly endearing and wonderful, a perfect foil for the wonderful Miss Slater. All in all, a rollicking fun read, with a great message about the importance of confidence and loving yourself.

With great surprise I loved "Unsticky" (my first foray back into "chick" literature for many years), read it twice, and couldn't wait for this one. My first impressions were disappointing: gratuitous and graphic sex within the first few pages which lends nothing to the story. Parties at which she is initially totally out of her depth "but then relaxes and finds herself enjoying them because of him" - again doesn't ring true for her character (I would argue that Grace in Unsticky knew & researched her "art" and therefore became comfortable within the confines of the social spheres she entered - Neve however does not). I was going to abandon ship midway, but stuck it out for the happy ending. At its heart, it's the story of "bad slut-boy" meets "good innocent girl" and suprises himself by changing his ways (ie leopards do change their spots). Even if the reader suspends what they know of social insecurities, the levels of self-insight & life changing epiphanies shown by all characters at the end of the book (almost within the last few pages) are beyond belief. Somewhat disappointing, because I was hoping for something a little more solid: it felt rushed. But once I dialled down my expectations and suspended logic I had a great romp reading it and kept the light on till the wee hours getting through to the happy ending prize at the end.

I started reading this book a few months ago, and at the beginning I just couldn't enjoy the story, so I decide to put it on hold, and in the last few week i started reading again, and it became one of the most adorable chick lit that I've read.

Neevy is not the usual character, the gorgeous woman that doesn't know how to find love in the big city, her story was deeper than that. She fought her whole life with her weight, and through this whole fight she faced bullying, rejection, but never gave up, because she thought a size 10 would make her happy. She's shy and bookish, and very insecure because she thinks everyone looks at her like she's only the fat girl and nothing more. She just thinks too much and forget to see what is around her.

Max was the womanizer that had nothing in common with Neve, and at the beginning I actually hated him, because his the anti-hero, which is very unusual for chick lit, but after a few chapters we get to know the real Max that has flaws and lived his whole life pretending, he felt real.

This book shows the effects being heavy can have on a person and how someone can go from one extreme to the other. This offers insights to personalities and in my opinion is representative of life, meaning it's not super unrealistic nor is the plot.

After reading an amazing book, Me before you, I was searching for another one and I found this and after reading the reviews, I thought...lets try this one. After the 37% of the book I started to think to just stop reading it. So slow. At almost 60% I thought, let's see where is going to go. At the end ...not quite sure. Like Neve, i used to be fat, size 16, now size 10 but I really coudn't understand her way of acting. Sure we all are different but I never in my life felt the way she did. Maybe found better boys or girlfriends, but no one should make you feel that way. And sorry but all that William story...no way!

2 of my favorite characters in a long time. Their story line is real enough to ring true and their journey no less. I enjoyed this book immensely and looked forward to picking up where I left off each night.
A great read for those who are looking for a "less-fluffy" beach read and/or fun escape.

What a great story! As someone who has dealt with weight/body issues my whole life, I could really identify with this book, and with the issues that Neve, the main character had. While the book is about body and weight issues, it's also a romantic comedy that anyone could enjoy - funny, sexy, sad and very real.

The characters in this book really came to life for me. It was written with depth and understanding of life and the agonies we all go through some time or another. The character development and the story line was complete and I loved every moment of this funny, yet heartbreaking romance. This author has a fabulous writing style that kept me glued to the book until I was cross eyed.

Loved the concept and related to Neve and her weight struggles. Loved the character Max but Neve got a bit annoying around the middle of the book. Overall enjoyed the book and look forward to reading other books by this author

Loved, loved, loved this book. The characters were fun, but not ridiculous. I can totally relate to wanting to be one "perfect" size and thinking life would just fall into place if that were to happen. I love how quirky Max was and determined, even though she thought he didn't mean any of. This has become one of my favorite books, and I have started reading more of her material. So glad I discovered her!!!

I swear this book should have been half the length. The heroine used to be really overweight and she is hung up on it from page one till the end. It was soooooo annoying. There were good things in the book, but an editor would have made it better