The Wild Oats Project

A fun and intimate exploration shared for all to understand how to explore love and passion. There are all different ways to find yourself and orgasm and free love might just well be a good enough way!

I applaud her bravery to discover her true self! Thank you for being open and honest enough to share your journey with others. Your book is an encouragement to the many other women in similar situations.

Although the writer is into new-age post hippie cultures, this is a grounded and well written exploration of a crisis of self and marriage. I felt her conflicts as a middle aged woman and thought it's a great topic that doesn't get enough attention.

Boring, unrealistic and poorly written. I bought the book based in a rave review from a daytime talk host. Someone was paid a lot of money! The book was tedious at best and I skipped thru the last 100 pages. I really do not understand how a book like this gets press and a publisher

This book illustrated how the struggle for finding ones truth can be more inspired than seemingly impenetrable walls and expectations we are buried with from birth. My guess is that at some level Robin had to do what she had to do in order to connect to her feminine core. I sense her lost opportunity for motherhood was not the reason for her "exploration", but an excuse to justify her path to herself and others. The real TRUTH was probably too unpalatable. Had she just separated and navigated as a truly single woman, she could have had the same experiences. However untruthful, this path allowed her to jump into the stormy sea tethered to a life preserver should she decide to go back. Ronaldi is incredibly honest with us readers and owns her trepidation and lack of self awareness. But she does grow and ultimately free herself of her own self imposed chains, probably her truest intent all along.

Too many of us make life choices without knowing our true selves. The thought of her NOT doing what she did and never finding her true feminine core is a more frightening course than the one she ended up taking. How many of us live in middle age knowing at some level the paths we take we us deprive us of our masculinity and femininity.

This book is about the messy, beautiful, divine experience that it is to be incarnate in a woman's body. It was a guilty and true pleasure to read about her finding her inner goddess and also some self-love for herself. Her lessons are invaluable. We expect a lot out of our marriages; no surprise so many fail. But the answer is within us.

I am somewhat disappointed at the way the media has portrayed the book. I feel they have picked up on the superficial (slept with 12 strangers), while purposefully avoiding the depth of the author's journey into the primal feminine desires for motherhood, for connection, for adoration, for finding ourselves.

The book is extremely well-written with honesty, courage and self awareness.

Wow. I just finished this book in one sitting and definitely recommend it. The author puts it all out there in an extremely candid, refreshing fashion.
I don't understand the problem people are having with Rinaldi's personal journey. She embarked on it with her husband's agreement, she didn't hurt anyone (other than her husband, but remember he agreed), she explored her own sexuality with consenting adults. Why is this perceived as some crime? It may not be everyone's type of story, and it may not be mine, but I was able to open-mindedly try to understand her. To me, it sounds like a classic mid-life fear - the difference is that she did something about it. Yes, she paid a price, but really, the marriage was probably over before The Year of openness. I saw a lot of self-reflection in the book as well. Regardless of the controversy, it remains that the book is very well written.

I borrowed this from the library after hearing about it so I didn't care how much it costs etc. I am rating it only the entertainment value of the book. Yes the book is very entertaining. Yes we can't help but project our own beliefs onto the author to claim to do otherwise is not truthful. From my perspective, the author was very hurt and upset that her husband would not do what she wanted to: have children with her. Instead of doing the truly "brave" thing like leave her husband she decides she can sleep with many men and women to "sow her oats" since she didn't get to do it when she was in her 20's. Whose fault was that? Does it matter? She can sow her own oats but to claim she was in an open marriage is not to be honest. Her husband stupidly agreed to it and so the marriage continues until it can no longer do so. Maybe she was selfish for doing whatever she wanted but then again, her husband did whatever he wanted as well. But the truth of the matter was, he never lied to her and told her in the beginning of the marriage he never wanted children. She never told him she would eventually want children or change her mind. These basic things prior to marriage should have been discussed and if it were, it is wrong of her to assume he would change his mind.

This was not a project really as the title deceptively titled it. Instead she strung her husband along and he went with it until she wanted to divorce him, not too surprising really. It was entertaining enough but definitely not a person one would want to model oneself after. I mean she finds a new guy but seems to have problems with him as well. So what's new? Another project probably....so depressing seriously if you think about it. But this is her life / her journey so you don't have to like it or agree to it. I just enjoyed reading it until I finished the book and thought about it and it made me depressed.

This book made me laugh, cry, and think deeply about if I truly understood my body my desires and my life goals. Although there are some hot sex scenes, the book makes think you about desires in all facets of your life not just sex. It is very relatable and a MUST READ!!!

I borrowed this from the library after hearing about it so I didn't care how much it costs etc. I am rating it only the entertainment value of the book. Yes the book is very entertaining. Yes we can't help but project our own beliefs onto the author to claim to do otherwise is not truthful. From my perspective, the author was very hurt and upset that her husband would not do what she wanted to: have children with her. Instead of doing the truly "brave" thing like leave her husband she decides she can sleep with many men and women to "sow her oats" since she didn't get to do it when she was in her 20's. Whose fault was that? Does it matter? She can sow her own oats but to claim she was in an open marriage is not to be honest. Her husband stupidly agreed to it and so the marriage continues until it can no longer do so. Maybe she was selfish for doing whatever she wanted but then again, her husband did whatever he wanted as well. But the truth of the matter was, he never lied to her and told her in the beginning of the marriage he never wanted children. She never told him she would eventually want children or change her mind. These basic things prior to marriage should have been discussed and if it were, it is wrong of her to assume he would change his mind.

This was not a project really as the title deceptively titled it. Instead she strung her husband along and he went with it until she wanted to divorce him, not too surprising really. It was entertaining enough but definitely not a person one would want to model oneself after. I mean she finds a new guy but seems to have problems with him as well. So what's new? Another project probably....so depressing seriously if you think about it. But this is her life / her journey so you don't have to like it or agree to it. I just enjoyed reading it until I finished the book and thought about it and it made me depressed.

This book made me laugh, cry, and think deeply about if I truly understood my body my desires and my life goals. Although there are some hot sex scenes, the book makes think you about desires in all facets of your life not just sex. It is very relatable and a MUST READ!!!

If you’ve picked up this book, you likely already know the premise of it. Robin- married to Scott but seeking out more. More what? A child? Family? Wild sex? Maybe all of it. She takes us along on her journey with an open marriage, in an attempt to save her marriage.

I appreciate her story and sharing it, honestly, with all of us. I found the book to be quite wordy and wanted to skim in several parts. But overall, it’s an interesting read and made me realize a few things about my own marriage, but in a positive way. There was a lot of bare emotion described and towards the end, it struck a cord with me. H

I love this book!!! Being in a long term marriage is challenging and this book speaks to the question of whether or not an open marriage would work for you. If your view of marriage is pretty traditional and you are not open to any variation in openness - don't read this. It won't resonate with you. But, for those of us in the gray area and for those who spend time wondering if the grass would be greener if our partner would consider an open marriage this book is the best gift you can give yourself. This book is equal parts sexy and cerebral. You can feel what the author is feeling, put yourself in her shoes and sit with the consequences of her actions. Brave author. Amazing read.

This is not the road to happiness. Anything coming from a self-centered perspective can give some excitement momentarily but it is not lasting. When there is a life crisis that is not health-related it is the time to question personal principles, faith, and values. There is a struggle inside of us and the way out is through real love and truth by reinforcing connections with our own spouse, not strangers.

So you thought Elizabeth Gilbert was the most self absorbed annoying wife ever to write a memoir? Or Cheryl Strayed whined the most in print blaming her upbringing on her dysfunctional life?
Well step back! This one tops them both. Manages to combine an annoying narrative with pages of poorly written soft core porn.
Take my advice: avoid this book - and consider de-friending anyone you know who claims to have liked it/been inspired by it etc.

I hated hated hated this book. But I had to finish it just to confirm my hope - spoiler alert - that her husband managed to escape the personal hell. He did. One star for the happy ending.

Although I would never choose the author's path of self-exploration now that I'm married, I believe her story is truly insightful and entertaining. Free love can led to self love; it can be cathartic. A rejected lover can let go of dependency and cope better if dealing with a "motherless" midlife crisis.

As an author myself, I especially liked Rinaldi's prose (interlaced between graphic sexual content quite well); my only issue was that the narrative bounced around in time too much and each chapter didn't seem to have a distinct subtheme, for lack of a better word, and this made me think often "Where is she going with this?"

Robin Rinaldi is very frank, very honest and her writing style is easy reading. Robin's autobiography is a borderline neurotic account of a massive mid life crisis in her sexuality, marriage and identity. I found it empty in the end because it was all about sex. Sex, sex and more sex. Who has that much sex? Robin did and does. With so many different partners? It reminded me of Steve McQueen's film with Fassbender about the sex addict. From what I could assume; the author has been obsessed with sex for most of her adult life with a short era of thinking about having a baby - she says her husband did not want a child; but Robin's subsequent behaviour indicates to me that her husband wisely did not think parenthood would be a good idea for his wife. I stayed with the book through all the encounters that began with some interest but got more sordid as time went on; I felt sorry for her husband and also thought he should have told her it was over after the first few weeks of her intolerable and selfish behaviour (if you want to have limitless sex with multiple partners then you are not really in a marriage anymore are you?)....but when she entered the commune (voluntarily) and got involved in the daily rituals of weird and strange clitoral stimulation group sessions with absolute strangers in front of an audience - my taste for this book diminished as did my respect for Ms Rinaldi. What was she thinking ??? The book tries to present an adult discourse on sex and sexuality; it fails. Instead it is an account of deep sexual neurosis and a very empty and meaningless lifestyle. That goes not just for Robin but most of the people she connected with.

Awful...My own fault. I read based on publicity out of curiosity. This is a sad life of circumstances made worse by poor choices. I have the world's best husband...so maybe that's why I find this entire premise absurd. I kept finding myself asking (out loud) the "obvious" questions that someone doesn't see when they insist there is only doom and gloom. I also feel strongly that this "project" was just a publicity stunt to sell books....If it was her own personal journey it would have remained private or at least not been published so soon after it was over. Her idea of an open marriage was really just permission to cheat. The idea that she was brave in any way just annoyed me....Is Miley Cyrus brave? Promiscuous behavior is not brave and in today's world didn't break any glass ceilings. Women of all ages have flaunted their promiscuity ... for decades. I wonder how it would have turned out for her if she would have just gotten a divorce and done something healthy...like traveled the world or taken up a 'cause to change the world' like political issues or helping those in need. I do feel for her though...I just think this is a terrible plot that I found poorly written....I have found sometimes even a bad story can be incredibly interesting or entertaining if written well. ..This doesn't do that. I do not recommend.

Thank you Robin for your honesty and courage- the world needs more people like you. Loved reading this well written memoir. There is so much more than a year of sex, its a year of growth and learning to trust her body- and to follow it where it leads her. I was inspired, moved and motivated after reading her book.

"The Wild Oats Project: One Woman's Midlife Quest for Passion at Any Cost", is a candid intensely written exploration of self-discovery which led author Robin Rinaldi to ask her husband Scott for an open marriage in 2007, when they lived in San Francisco. With casual flings being fairly socially accepted among friends, Rinaldi didn't think this would be a threat to her stable 17 year marriage.

This was a relatively happy marriage, Rinaldi was a senior editor at 7 X 7 a city magazine. With agreements made between them as not to get involved with mutual friends/acquaintances, the practice of safe sex, not to see a person more than three times etc. Scott didn't seem happy with the arrangement as his wife, who immediately began to pursue another man. Undoubtedly upset about Scott getting a vasectomy, Rinaldi seemed to want sexual variety above all else. Living apart from Scott during the week, and with him on the weekends; Rinaldi began by placing an ad on Craigslist, which was promptly removed. Later, she contacted an encounter group.

OneTaste was an encounter group of like-minded individuals. Deida was practiced: a principle of 3 relationship stages which was composed of masculine consciousness and feminine light that focused on polar energy and spiritual and physical ecstasy. Many of the exercises were word games, dancing (while blindfolded) to percussive music etc. The unusual OM "clitoral laboratory"- allowed unfamiliar intimate access and wasn't respectful of space and boundaries. Rinaldi detailed her experiences with these groups, her therapist, and her intimate relationships. Scott, (understandably) never participated in any of these groups or encounter activities, which included couples. From the book...
"The twelve steppers, therapists and self-help books all said another person couldn't heal you. You had to do it yourself or ask God to do it for you. They were wrong. What healed me, or at least provided the foundation of my healing was Scott's stoic love."....

Rinaldi was certainly brave and nervy in revealing her truth in this well written and interesting memoir. At times it was difficult to remain open minded, and the conclusion to this story wasn't surprising. So little was written about Scott and his emotions and reactions. When Scott revealed he cried himself to sleep after she moved out, her reaction showed her disconnection from him. Scott seemed like a kind loving supportive husband especially during the time of their open marriage. Wishing them both the best.

Fantastic book , which shows our chaging world. A woman is doing what previously would be the preserve of a man. The storey has real life situations and manages to keep you on the edge of your seat could not put down until the end.

Fantastic and well written book. To the people giving it one star because your mind's are left back in the 1950's you sure have issues with other's sexuality.
An adult has consensual sex, a husband says it's ok and participates as well, so what's the problem? Also, it's like all you scarlet letter one star reviewers skipped over the part where she talks about her childhood. Of course she picked an emotionally unavailable man (her husband) she had enough drama growing up. Her husband didn't have sexual chemistry with her and just because he was loyal doesn't mean it's worth a marriage. This isn't Victorian England people. Besides, the husband never divulged his past, never said why to anything. The author tried to get him to participate in her life but he was too busy being closed off to the world. Good for Robin! She is brave for telling her story because she knew she would be setting herself up for you judgemental types. It's 2015, sex is just sex, get over it, it's not some holy, religious pious activity. Have you had sex? It's pretty messy and as far as I can tell animals do it too. It's also been proven that not all of us have the wiring for monogamy. Are you jealous? Robin is an adult and a great writer. I suggest looking into your own childhoods to see why all of you have such sexual issues.

The outcome was entirely predictable. She's not very attractive. Tried to coerce her husband into having children, which he made clear he didn't want. Convinced him to allow for an "open relationship" but, in her mind, it was only open for her and he started seeing another, much younger, woman which made her lose her mind. I commend him for being smart and doing as he should have. She got what she wanted.

After the reading the book, I feel empty. Rinaldi has an interesting situation that she almost pontificates as being "the norm" whether we choose to believe it or not. People do have good marriages and they most certainly can be life fulfilling. She should have prefaced this book by saying "my husband and I should have gotten a divorce instead of going on a year long sexcapade". I feel that the type of person that does something like this belongs on a commune. Get a divorce and move on with your life. Rinaldi's next book will be called "How I left my second long term relationship for another year long sexcapade - AKA: Are You noticing a pattern with my behavior, I'm crazy!."

The word "bravery" has been used often in reviews of this woman's book. No, she's not brave for sharing her "journey." Rather, she knew by the nature of the American public that such a book would make her a lot of money. Bravery is a term to reserve for people who do something sacrificially for others, not people who satiate their own lusts. And never in the history of mankind until our permissive era, would this have been called by a word as ridiculous as "journey." It's far from a journey; it was merely indulgence of her bodily instincts.

I received this ARC from NetGalley in exchange for my review. So I am torn about how to rate this book. Should I rate it by how much I agree or disagree with the author's decisions? Or should I base my rating on the quality of the writing? This was a very gripping, honest and sometimes humorous look at one woman's quest for exploration. In my opinion, her decision to go on this quest was a selfish one. But I knew what I was getting into with this book. I was curious about her reasons for embarking on this journey. Her reason for wanting an open marriage: her husband got a vasectomy. Yep, that's it. Robin went into her marriage knowing her husband didn't want kids. He never kept this a secret from her. Robin was fine with this until her biological clock started ticking. She tried to talk her husband into having kids, but he wasn't having it. Her friends called him selfish; one of them even suggested she trick him into it. Finally he got the vasectomy. When he did, she said she wanted an open marriage; she said they were now independent people and if she couldn't have children, she was going to have lovers.

I don't like to judge women for their sexual habits, but honestly I failed to see what one had to do with the other. But her husband agreed to this arrangement and it's not my marriage. Despite my judgments about her decision, I was fascinated by her tale. She talked about online dating and erotic workshops. She got in touch with her sexuality in a way that I never have, and probably never will. I loved her honesty. I also admire her bravery for sharing her journey. This open marriage lasted exactly one year and in this time, Robin learned a lot about herself, her sexuality and even her marriage.

I received this book in exchange for an honest opinion!
Bored after 18 years with her husband, Robin Rinaldi placed an ad seeking casual encounters with new men and women. She tells what happened on her yearlong sex odyssey in her memoir "The Wild Oats Project."
It's not my usual genre of book that I read, but I was curious to follow the journey of a woman who can share her sexual awakening to fill the void in her marriage. The woman, the author, is in her mid forty, a crucial time for a woman searching herself! This book is about Robin's personal life, her sensuality and desires regarding an open marriage. I have to mention, that her main desire, was to have children, but when she married, her husband had told her that it is was out of question of having any and had a vasectomy! So bored and frustrated, she proposed him an open marriage; him during the weekend, and lovers during the week! Her journey, of exploring her sexuality, lasted a whole year, but I won't tell you the ending! Her story will take you on a roller coaster ride of emotions!
On a personal note, some people in their mid forty, feel they are missing something in their relationship, they want to add spice in their sexual routine, but is an open marriage the solution? And, I don't think it's for everyone. It's a dangerous game that might burn you or take you on a wild spin of emotions. Thank you Robin Rinaldi for sharing your honest experience!

Wow. I believe this is a very important book, for both women and men. As well as it being an inspiration for all people to connect with, and follow, their desire, it is about as honestly human a book as could be writ. Rinaldi's story is rich and deep, soulful and moving. No one is right, no one is wrong... And everyone comes with their ideas, judgments, projections, and fears. The author journeys into the dark wilderness of the unknown and the disapproved-of. Her self-commitment and courage are remarkable. Regardless of what anyone may say, praising or condemning Rinaldi's actions, this book is vital and much-needed. It is healing, and it shines an enormous light onto what many would rather not look at. Rinaldi brings her self to the world, baring her soul, her passion, her love, her wisdom, her heart, her blindness, and her vision. This book is truly a gift, a powerful mirror for us all to see ourselves in. I highly recommend "The Wild Oats Project" to anyone who is ready to step out of his or her comfort-zone and begin living the life he or she desires.

Robin Rinaldi's memoir illustrates what so many women struggle with in silence: our conflicting desires. Many of us want safety and security, motherhood and to be of service...yet at the same time we crave wild abandon, adventure, and pleasure-seeking freedom. Robin admittedly made a few mistakes on her journey to finding a relationship and life that works for her - lying and cheating to her husband in their year of open marriage. Yet, those mistakes, fully owned in print (displaying more honesty than most cheaters, right?) are part of her story.
I've seen some negative reviews of the book that all read as the same underlying message to me:
Woman, don't be slutty, or we will shame, blast, and revile you.
Women, don't explore your sexuality in any unconventional way, or we will give you a 1-star review, without trying to fully understand the pain you were trying to heal.
Women, stay in your box.

I highly recommend this book to women and men who are exploring their desires, not as a blueprint, but as a story of lessons learned from a thoughtful, brave seeker.

A fascinating, gripping, searingly honest book that you won't be able to put down. It's thought-provoking, conversation-starting and will have you mulling over the author's decisions and motivations for a long time. A great one for a book club or a vacation. Once I'd read it, I recommended it to five friends almost immediately. Read it now as it's going to be one of those books you'll be hearing about and wishing you were in on first.

It sounds scandalous: a woman married for 18 years convinces her husband to pursue an open marriage on the basis that he won't give her children. But perhaps the most surprising thing about Robin Rinaldi's engaging, voyeuristic (and yes sex-filled) memoir is its relatability.

Rinaldi's characters are thoughtfully rendered, her depiction of herself bravely honest, and her perspective both light-hearted and heart-wrenching. This is the sort of book people will be talking about and debating, and rightfully so.

This well written memoir is more about a journey than anything else. I couldn’t put it down because I really needed to know where Robin’s chosen path was going to take her. Although parts of it are sexual, there is so much more to the story. It made me laugh, cry and wonder about my own ability to be true to myself. I highly recommend reading it.

I admire Rinaldi for writing this brave and candid memoir. You have to admire her for realizing she was unhappy, doing something about it, and being honest with her husband. So may others, who may judge her, are probably doing the same thing behind their spouses backs. She's also a great writer!

Robin's story is compelling, sensual, and brutally honest! I blushed a few times. I'm sure there are other women out there whose stories are very similar. Maybe not actually having a 1-year free pass but possibly the desire to have one. Oooops! Did I say that out loud??

An amazing memoir! Brave and fresh! Readers will love this page-turner. The author bares all and is opening up a new and lively, provocative discussion about marriage and relationships. A must-read. 5 stars!

Boring story of a narcisstic and completely self involved woman whose every outlook on life is negative. She has only one concern in her life and that is herself. Her so called effort to find her inner self was complete BS. Save your money.

Although I would never choose the author's path of self-exploration now that I'm married, I believe her story is truly insightful and entertaining. Free love can led to self love; it can be cathartic. A rejected lover can let go of dependency and cope better if dealing with a "motherless" midlife crisis.

As an author myself, I especially liked Rinaldi's prose (interlaced between graphic sexual content quite well); my only issue was that the narrative bounced around in time too much and each chapter didn't seem to have a distinct subtheme, for lack of a better word, and this made me think often "Where is she going with this?"