The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling - Humble Inquiry

Very thought provoking about normal, everyday life interactions, and how they might have gone better with a little more attention to what is said!
An easy read full of anecdotes that illustrate the points Dr. Schein is making.

Great book and fast read. Really helps companies going through a Lean transformation. Humble Inquiry is an essential part of problem solving and creating a positive problem solving environment. Recommend this book along with Managing To Learn from LEI.

A must for anyone wishing to have productive and long lasting relations. I have reread this gem a few times now. Schein shares how easily we succumb to relationship gaffs by failing to inquire. His stories highlight how eloquently we can move to having more productive relations. I need to resort to this gem more often

As an advocate of Appreciative Inquiry, I found this book a great addition to the nuances of how to effectively interact with people. Our complex world is in real need of people who think before they speak! Thank you Dr. Schein!

This book really makes you think introspectively about how you handle situations.
How we are so programmed to take quick action and not pause and reflect.
We need to slow down, ask questions. Find out the facts.

The author makes a potentially cerebral and theoretical subject and wonderfully points the reader to consider not just the idea but the out working. I found this book both stimulating in its content but challenging in its thrust too.

Schein has given us a concise and practicable guide to making leadership a conversation rather than a command. If applied broadly it has the potential to positively transform leader/follower relationships.

Schein has given us a concise and practicable guide to making leadership a conversation rather than a command. If applied broadly it has the potential to positively transform leader/follower relationships.

One question I have is how this humble inquiry approach can gain traction in industries where it seems to be totally undervalued. It is not the leadership approach that tends to be promoted in MBA programs - perhaps quite the opposite.

I wanted to share an experience I had while teaching about relational coordination - coordinating work processes through shared goals, shared knowledge and mutual respect - in the MIT Operations Academy with executives from an international energy company who were trying hard to improve the safety culture of their organization. One executive asked me: "What kind of leadership is conducive to relational coordination?" I answered after thinking for a moment: "I don't know - I haven't studied it but probably something like leading through humble inquiry." He responded "That's what I thought and that's not what gets rewarded here." It turns out that one of their senior leaders who was being recognized at the graduation ceremony was credited with helping to turn around the troubled Alaska region. He explained what happened: "I realized I wasn't going to accomplish anything by staying at headquarters. I went up to the region and talked to front-line operators and asked: What is your job and how can I help you to do it better?" What he learned through this process and perhaps just as importantly the relationships he built as a leader helped to turn around the safety outcomes of that region.

This process sounded a lot like humble inquiry - like in the Toyota Production System and at Southwest Airlines in which managers lead by going to the front line to "see" and "ask." Recognizing that they may know a lot about the strategic environment but to really understand the operations they have to engage in humble inquiry with front-line employees who do the work everyday and are indeed the experts. In effect the humble inquiry that Schein describes so clearly is a key ingredient of relational leadership, and it builds relational coordination for high performance.

I had such high expectations with this purchase and author; however, it left me sadly disappointed. I expected tips and a roadmap to better structure inquiries... This s nothing I haven't already done. This is for the utmost ignorant of communicators, who typically don't know they need this information. If you have an ounce of sensitivity, you're on the right track, already. Save your money.

The author clearly is coming from a research background so although this book has some key points of wisdom and knowledge to impart, it is lost in too much explaining.

Humble inquiry does represent a great philosophy to have as a leader and this book has key points to consider, just would have been better to be more succinct.

The book introduces us to Humble Inquiry which is a way of asking questions that builds trust and relationships. While the idea has merit, the book spends far too much time on defining what trust, relationships and culture in the context of this idea rather than focusing on the strategies for learning and applying the approach.

Concise, cogent, and informed by a wealth of direct experience, "Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling," by Edgar H. Schein, is a testament to the importance of asking questions in a way that enables others to feel comfortable giving honest answers. A pioneer in organizational development whose work has been instrumental in shaping the field since the 1950s, Schein distills lessons from a lifetime of practice in solving difficult organizational problems, helping people build strong relationships, and moving cultures in a positive direction. Simple and profoundly wise, "Humble Inquiry," the best business book of the year in this category, has the makings of a classic.

Although the book wears its learning lightly, its ambitions are far from modest, for Schein sets out to do nothing less than identify and address the root causes of miscommunication in our business culture. In his view, there are two essential problems. The first is our preference for telling rather than asking. Schein finds this especially characteristic of managers in the United States, who are immersed in a tradition of pragmatic problem solving that places a premium on efficiency and speed. The second problem is the high value many leaders place on task accomplishment as opposed to relationship building, which can make them impatient with the slow work of earning real trust. In Schein’s experience, many leaders either are not aware of these cultural biases or don’t care enough to be bothered with redressing them.

Schein believes that such attitudes have become newly problematic in a diverse global environment in which a growing proportion of individuals do not necessarily share those values, and in which teams are an increasingly common organizational unit. Despite the prevalence of language exalting teamwork, Schein notes that promotional and rewards systems in many companies remain almost entirely individualistic. This creates an emphasis on star performers that can undermine engagement and trust.

The disjunction becomes particularly acute when leaders simply assume that positional power ensures that their subordinates will correctly interpret and act upon their instructions. Those who take this approach are often content to toss off a pro forma request for assent—“Does anyone have any problems with this approach?”—and leave it at that. Blinded by presumptions about the value of their status and unaware of the cultural and status constraints under which subordinates may labor, leaders intent on speed and efficiency often miss essential information. In high-risk fields, these miscommunications can have catastrophic consequences, against which checklists and professional training offer insufficient protection.

At several points in the book, Schein illustrates the potential for miscommunication by using examples from a typical British hospital. The operating team consists of a British senior surgeon who also works with the royal family, an anesthesiologist recently arrived from Japan, a surgical nurse from the U.S. who’s in the U.K. because of her husband’s job, and a surgical tech from a working-class London district. Though each member of the team is a highly trained professional, these diverse individuals all have cultural reasons to avoid sharing unwelcome information with the surgeon. The anesthesiologist comes from a culture in which those with higher status cannot be openly confronted, so he appears to agree with the surgeon even when his experience suggests another approach. The nurse is sensitive to the anesthesiologist’s status and does not want to embarrass him in front of the surgeon by questioning his decision to go along with whatever the surgeon says. The tech cannot imagine anyone on the team listening to a concern voiced by someone of his background and so fails to offer any views and just follows orders.

Schein describes the various circumstances under which cultural and status constraints inhibit this team from engaging in the kind of frank exchange that their complex work requires. Though each team member has specific expertise, they all fail to use it to advantage unless those with higher status humble themselves by asking questions that demonstrate their reliance on others. He further notes that some variation on this situation occurs in every kind of organization, often every day, because even as leaders struggle to create conditions that promote free exchange, expressing humility can make them feel vulnerable. True humility requires admitting dependence on those lower in the hierarchy. Only when leaders are able to overcome their fear of exhibiting such dependence can they allow their curiosity to lead them to vital information.

"Humble Inquiry" redresses this condition by showing managers a variety of ways to frame questions to which they do not know the answer. Schein is careful to distinguish humble questions from leading questions, rhetorical questions, embarrassing questions, or statements masquerading as questions. He also notes that the burden for asking such questions always falls on the higher-status person in an exchange. Humble inquiry is therefore especially useful as a management practice.

Like Peter Drucker, Schein rarely cites or draws from work that is not his own, an approach that paradoxically gives his observations added authority and weight. The methods he sets forth have obvious utility in many situations, but seem particularly useful for organizations undertaking complex initiatives such as culture change. In fact, it’s not extreme to say that no leader should attempt such a venture without first consulting "Humble Inquiry."

You should listen more than you speak and ask more than you tell. This is certainly true. If you repeat this message over and over, add some personal experiences and make sure to add some examples including various forms of business leaders, well, then you have this book. I wonder if those who really need to be reminded about the Importance of asking actually bother to read such a book. To the rest of us, this book is a statement of the obvious, unfortunately adding nothing new. Two stars for getting the message right, though.

The concept of humble inquiry is a fine concept, one the reader will grasp within a chapter or two. I'm just not sure if the additional chapters offer much help to the reader in how to change your own behavior toward humble inquiry, how to get those below you to use the technique, or, perhaps most importantly, how to respond in the best interests of the organization when those in higher positions are telling instead of asking.

Overall, it's a good read, but a kindle or library-borrow for me. The world might have been better served if this were a 4,000 word magazine article than a 20,000 word book. In the back-cover materials, the author claims this is the culmination of his life's work, and that seems surprising to me. You could make the argument that common sense is not common practice, that the best teachers teach us things we know but don't practice, etc, and that's why I give the book three stars. With more advice on how to implement the concept (see the issues above) it could have been a four-star book for me.

By Frank Agyeman-Duah, Devan Bolden, Manouchka Castor, Jose Chavez, Alex Giroux, and Erica Gorski
Book Review | October 5, 2017

Humble Inquiry
The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling
By Edgar H. Schein
110 pp. Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc.

The world in which we live and work is becoming ever more technologically advanced and culturally diverse, creating greater interdependencies between individuals, regardless of differences in background or status. Good relationships are a necessity for success in this environment, and good relationships set the stage for good communication, which is critical for accomplishing tasks. What, then, helps to establish good relationships in a culture that seems to value doing and telling over asking? According to Edgar H. Schein, the answer to that question is Humble Inquiry.

Humble Inquiry is the art of drawing an individual’s opinion out by asking questions to which you do not know the answer, which establishes an attitude of genuine curiosity and interest in the other individual. It temporarily empowers the other individual while showing vulnerability on the part of the person asking the question. In this way, Humble Inquiry involves spending time and attention up front in order to build the foundation for a trusting relationship.

Humble Inquiry is not achieved simply by asking more and telling less; it cannot be achieved by using checklists or pre-written questions. Rather, Humble Inquiry is a behavior and expression of curiosity in the other person. Humble Inquiry is meant to function as an invitation to establish a deeper, more personal relationship. This is especially critical in the dynamic environment in which we live and work today, as interdependencies between individuals of different status are becoming more crucial for task accomplishment across many professions (e.g. doctor, nurse, anesthesiologist, and surgical technician working together to perform a surgery, or a project team with members of different levels in business). If individuals of lower status on a team do not feel a sense of comfort and trust with their superior(s), they may be afraid to speak up when needed, thus jeopardizing successful task completion.

Schein argues that the key to Humble Inquiry is exhibiting and acknowledging a sense of Here-and-Now Humility, which is a state of temporary dependence on the other person. It means that in that moment, you are dependent upon that other person, because he/she knows or has something that you need in order to successfully accomplish the task at hand. It is critical for supervisors to allow those reporting to them to feel comfortable telling them what they need to know when the situation requires it; however, this type of humility is particularly difficult for superiors in many situations due to our culture that values doing and telling over asking.

Schein suggests various techniques to help build trusting relationships among team members. Among the more effective techniques that he suggests is building “cultural islands.” This can be accomplished by gathering associates in an informal setting and personalizing the conversation; the leader should then share a thought before asking the same question for all associates to answer. The key is to find common ground without judgment in a situation where cultural rules pertaining to the relationship are suspended.

In summary, building solid, trusting relationships is critical to task accomplishment, and good relationships lead to good communication. Humble Inquiry is the key to helping build such relationships at the onset. The lessons in Schein’s book are highly valuable not only for our professional lives, but also our personal lives.

Humble Inquiry is a great book that dives into the importance of relationships. There are numerous ways to go about business and there are also numerous ways to build relationships. What Humble Inquiry does is create a personal bond between people that goes beyond a task-oriented relationship. Many people in the business setting never get beyond the surface of knowing each other on a name to name basis and have relationships that consist of always getting something out of the other person.
This book goes over the importance of asking people questions instead of telling them what to do. This gives people power in a conversation and shows a level of trust by asking someone for their expertise, opinion etc. We are told in America that the task is the most important aspect at all times and this leads people in charge to overly focus on what they can get out of people. Humble inquiry makes people dive into the lives of their colleagues and get personal with them. When people truly know each other, they will trust each other and begin to work more productively knowing that they have a common goal.
This book describes four different forces inside us that are inhibitors to our complex communication as humans which describes in detail how people act in certain situations and relationship levels. The first is that of the concealed self which is only what somebody knows about themselves, the second is the open self which is the way we act, talk and present ourselves to people around us that we may not have a close relationship with. The third is the unknown self that which is the stuff that someone doesn’t know about themselves and that which the people whom are in relationships with this person doesn’t know about them. The last is the blind self which includes the things that a person does not know about themselves but the people around them do.
The overall message of this book is very clear; build strong, personal relationships through asking questions and being concerned for other people. Questions that are sincere and get people to come out of their shell should be encouraged and it will build trust with people. Humble inquiries is the way that all people should go about building relationships and the benefits can be seen in one’s business and personal life.

Humble Inquiry, by Edgar H. Schein, details a concept that is a useful tool for any business person and therefore it is recommended to read this book. However, there are many shortcomings which are described in this review.

Schein defines Humble Inquiry as the “fine art of drawing someone out, of asking questions to which you do not already know the answer and of building a relationship based on curiosity and interest in the other person.” This book teaches us how to consider others in the decisions made while communicating with them. Schein shows executives and other leaders how implementing humble inquiry can lead to effective communication with subordinates.

The book is an easy read; you could read it in a few hours if you are inclined to finish the book in one sitting. The overarching idea and message of the book is clear and easy to grasp as Schein uses simple words and a simple writing style. Though written for corporate business leaders, the book can be read and enjoyed by anyone interested in learning to exercise emotional intelligence during communication.

Although easy to read, this book was extremely anti-climactic. After the first chapter, we found ourselves interested and continued into the next several chapters, all the while waiting for the big reveal. Unfortunately, this did not appear until the last chapter, and even then, it was not what we hoped for.

Schein divides the book into seven chapters, with the last holding the most valuable information in the book. However, the final chapter, chapter 7, is not entirely fleshed out and is is only 12 pages long. Humble inquiry does seem to be a useful tool; therefore it would have been beneficial to get more tips on how to use it in daily life. Schein should have spent more time on this chapter as readers could skip the rest of the book and still get the point by reading chapter 7 alone.

Another criticism is that the book is repetitive. The primary example used is a surgery situation which Schein repeats in almost every chapter. However, this was a helpful example; much more useful than the simple case studies he provides throughout the book. More examples like this would have been beneficial and useful to readers. Additionally, the author repeatedly discusses the importance of humble inquiry but does not offer much useful advice for business people who want to use this tool.

There were two other issues found with the examples in the book. First, some stories in the book seem shallow. The message of the book was very easy to grasp, and perhaps, this is to blame for their simplicity. However, at times it felt as though the reader was simply receiving a lesson in good manners, rather than receiving insight into how one engages in humble inquiry. Secondly, although the examples were shallow, some of them were so fleshed out and “long-winded” that it is hard for the reader to remember what main point or topic at hand is being discussed.

Lastly, the book was not practical enough; it spent more time on the examples rather than explicitly telling the reader the steps to becoming a humble inquirer. If you are a business person seeking to find out how to practically apply humble inquiry in the workplace, you will not find the answer here. Though Schein’s message is good, he does not give you the steps to exercising this art of humble inquiry; nor does he use examples that are easily transferrable to an organizational setting.

Reviewers: Ammar Ali, Murewa Olubela, Suchi Shah, Melanie Simpson and Kareika Wharton.

Humble Inquiry is a short, easy read for busy managers looking to make a change in their communication style. Author Edgar Schein’s writing style is effortless and does not strain the reader. The more difficult task will actually be putting his communication style to practice.
The most important take-away is a manager’s recognition and use of “here and now humility.” Here and now humility is recognizing your dependence on your subordinates. Schein shines by overturning the traditional view of strong and direct communication favored in business by showing that managers have much to gain by shutting up and listening. Here and now humility, followed by humble inquiry, does not steer the conversation. Instead, this “weaker” communication style turns into a strength, because managers discover things subordinates would not otherwise divulge.

Unfortunately, the main goal of humble inquiry, relationship building with subordinates, often has immeasurable results. Certainly, relationship building has tremendous effect on the culture of an organization. Culture and employee relations is becoming more and more of an organizational priority. And rightly so. Schein has given managers the tools to build relationships and positive culture, but unfortunately its results are still intangible.

I was worried that the author would ramble on and on about the importance of a soft approach without any concrete action items, but instead was delighted that Schein took the time to write case studies of his own application of humble inquiry. Inversely, Schein did not need to dedicate over one hundred pages to a fairly simple idea. By chapter two or three, the concept was introduced, concrete examples were given, and barriers to adoption were addressed. Perhaps a journal article would be more appropriate.

Lean leaders must know how to motivate and engage people in problem solving. Continuous improvement relies on everyone looking out for each other, the customer and finding ways to deliver more value using resources more wisely.
This requires facing problems and having constructive discussion about their root causes. Too often leaders fail at this by giving answers, directions, solutions, etc. in a hurry to get results. This can be demotivating, or result in creating disengaged people who wait for orders.

Edgar Schein writes this book not from a Lean or operational excellence perspective, but the themes he hits apply completely to the challenge of creating an environment where people can talk about problems openly. He calls it Humble Inquiry and differentiates it from other types of inquiry. The emphasis on humility includes having a genuine interest in people, which is a perfect complement for the Lean pillar of "respect for people" and how to put this into practice.

This book shows the importance of asking instead of telling, using open-ended questions with a genuine interest in understanding the other person and the situation, creating an environment of openness and practical steps and challenges that must be overcome.

Review: In ‘Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling’, Schein’s practical suggestions can improve personal and professional relationships.
Review written by: Cameron Magnuson, Caitlin Wolf, Greg Engel, Samuel Garrison, Dania Reeber, Vivian Cheng

Schein interweaves practical suggestions, countless examples, and interpersonal and social analyses to explain why and how Humble Inquiry can help build relationships at home and at work.

The goal of a Humble Inquiry is to engage in a discussion that is productive and meaningful in order to build or strengthen relationships and enhance teamwork. While the idea of a Humble Inquiry may seem as simple as asking questions instead of making statements, this is not the case. Schein notes there are several ways to ask ineffective questions, such as a Diagnostic Inquiry, a Confrontational Inquiry, and a Process-oriented Inquiry.
A Diagnostic Inquiry can be summed up as probing without a specific agenda. Much like a police detective who is interviewing witnesses at the scene of a crime, a Diagnostic Inquiry involves asking targeted follow-up questions to move the conversation in a specific direction. This can come from good intentions as one can try to be helpful by getting to the intended point faster. However, in doing a message is sent to the other party that either the topic is not important enough to be discussed at length, or the speaker is only interested in satisfying his or her own curiosity. This occurs most often when a speaker wants to know why something happened, what led up to that event, or the feelings connected to the event. By asking these targeted questions, the speaker is no longer simply absorbing the information from the other party but is now actively moving it along.
Confrontational Inquiry is another take on the Diagnostic, but it involves injecting the speaker's own thoughts and ideas into the conversation. Now, the police detective is interviewing a suspect that he or she knows is innocent and is looking for the confession. The conversation now has little to do with what the other party wanted to share, rather it becomes about what the speaker is trying to get out of it. This prevents the speaker from being humble because humbleness involves leaving oneself vulnerable to the knowledge someone else has. When a speaker purposefully moves the conversation in a direction they feel they already have the answers, they are not utilizing a Humble Inquiry.
One final option Schein mentions is to begin talking about the conversation itself in the form of a Process-oriented Inquiry. These questions focus on the feelings about the conversation and the motivations for discussing certain topics. While this in itself is not necessarily a Humble Inquiry, it can be an important support topic towards that goal; it can shift the focus back on the other party and their feelings towards the conversation.
Schein also address roadblocks to a Humble Inquiry such as: biases and distortions; emotions, feelings and moods; forces inside of us that inhibit humble inquiry such as pride (one-upmanship), when we or others don’t want to build a positive, productive relationship; status, rank; and cultural differences. These are mentioned to help us understand our self and others, and how to deal with obstacles to a Humble Inquiry. Schein also recognizes the unique challenges that leaders face in both how they are perceived and how they believe they should be perceived by those who work for them.
“Talking and listening have received enormous attention via hundreds of books on communication. But the social art of asking a question has been strangely neglected.” Schein’s application of a Humble Inquiry is a helpful tool to the social art of asking questions and building relationships.

Edgar H. Schein’s “The Humble Inquiry” A group review by Joseph Boehner, Teodora Melo, Jorge Alves Do Nascimento Junior, Juan Tobon Ochoa, Nicolas Torres, Laura Wasilewski
“A vulnerable journey through humble inquiry across cultural barriers.”
At times the need to “tell” instead of “ask” has dwarfed our ability to build true relationships with others. The author argues that instead of “telling” we should show genuine curiosity in the person we are speaking with, and ask questions we don’t know the answers to. Often lower level employees have important information that they have not passed on to higher management. This lack of communication can lead to misinformation, and, in extreme cases such as in hospital procedures, to fatalities. It can also be difficult for leaders to humbly ask questions, since after all, leaders are taught to know everything. In addition, our “do and tell” culture in the U.S. has taught us that accomplishing tasks is far more superior than relating to others. Therefore, we should be aware of cultural values when practicing humble inquiry.
It can be difficult to know how to ask the right questions, to build relationships with subordinates or managers, to know how to fairly deal with multi-cultural individuals, and to put ourselves in the vulnerable position that we don’t in fact know everything. This book brought a fresh perspective in the “humble inquiry” subject. Sometimes our ways are not best practices, and there is always more to learn.
In a story told and revisited in the book, a six year old daughter walks into a room while her father is working. He told her not to interrupt, without inquiring what the purpose of the visit was. When reprimanded later by his wife, he found out that his daughter just wanted to wish him good night, and to ask if he needed coffee. It is important then to do less telling, and more asking.
In another example given in the book of a young couple on vacation, Mary asked her husband to tea and he refused the invitation. He later regretted his response and pondered on the options he had. The answer is humble inquiry. If he had simply asked what the purpose of the invite was, he could have had enough information to decide on the best course of action.
Humble inquiry becomes harder when dealing with multicultural groups. The U.S. culture is an individualistic one that doesn’t value relationships like most other cultures do. So how do we then implement humble inquiry? The author compares humble inquiry to a sea-saw. In a sea-saw, there has to be a give and take to make it work, similar to building relationships. Vulnerability is probably the most important component when speaking with others. It is also important to remember that asking a strength not a weakness. Seek to understand the other person by simply asking in a humble way.
This “here and now” humility is based on levels of dependence we have on others. When using humble inquiry to get help from subordinates, the manager should seek to make his employees feel safe in order to obtain the necessary information he or she needs from them. They should put trust in others and provide mutual recognition and respect.
In further developing the humble inquiry attitude, Schein suggests practicing de-learning and re-learning, which is not always easy. We must displace old habits of telling, welcome change, and be willing to learn. We should vary the pace and take our time when approaching others. Rushing only leads to mistakes. Reflect more and ask yourself humble-inquiry questions first. It is key to become more mindful of our actions and realize that we don’t know everything, and we can’t do it alone.