Stay with Me: A novel

A very different book for me. So much tragedy, angst and lies. Well written and a good story but very difficult to understand in parts. The ending is so abrupt, after all that has happened in the story, there are many unanswered questions.

This book is miles away from what I normally read, but I'm really glad I stepped out of my comfort zone to read it. It's so heartbreaking, but also so real. I absolutely recommend this book to anyone who may be interested.

The story is woven in flashback mode and very engrossing. The interactions between the characters and highlighting the challenges of impotency and at the same time, children with Sickle Cell disease is intriguing.

This highlights the reason people check their genotype before marriage to reduce the incidence of SCD. But what do you do when the magic occurs....

The book jumped around a lot and in some chapters left you confused as to who was talking (husband or wife) as well as some of the events in the book were confusing (I.e.: didn’t the husband’s father die in earlier chapter... who’s funeral is she talking about: her father or his father...)

A well developed portrayal of the juxtaposition of traditional mores with 21st century life style against
the background of political unrest, with the harsh realities and consequences of patriarchy in the foreground

Stay With Me, Ayobami Adebayo

Review from Jeannie Zelos book reviews
Genre: Literary Fiction, General Fiction (Adult) 
 
This isn’t a book I’d re-read, that being said it was heart breaking at times. A really sad story where it was difficult to see who was really acting in the wrong.

Yejide was so in love with Akim, having been brought up in a typical Nigerian family where her father had four wives, and respect for parents is huge. Sadly her mother died in childbirth, and there are so many religious superstitions over any event connected with death that she’s always on the outside of the family, always being reminded of the awful thing her mother did in dying. When she meets Akin she’s ripe for love. When he sees her he’s entranced and very soon they are married.

That’s seems fine doesn’t it? Sadly though family is everything in this culture and Yejide is soon inundated with advice from Akim’s and her own family about how to get pregnant.
At first they seem like an independent couple, they know much of this “advice” is spurious superstition but slowly the blame weighs heavily on Yejide.
She’s still shocked though when Akim takes a second wife....my heart broke for her here. I was so angry at Akim and yet in that culture, with the constant pressure of parents, not just two but all his fathers wives who want to see their son or daughter as the favoured, its harder to blame him.
I really didn’t like Funmi, wife number two, and yet if I’m honest she was just doing what their culture taught, marry and have children, seek to ensure your children are in the favoured position of their father.

There’s such sadness here, and I so felt for both of them. Some really strange things too, when with a Western eye and education I’m thinking “oh come on, they wouldn’t do/would have known/ought to have”...and yet events carry on playing out, binding them all deeper and deeper, potentially losing that precious love they had.

Later in the story I really was cross at Yejide and her behaviour, didn’t understand how she could act like that to an innocent child, and yet I also understood her too. My first child was stillborn and I spent hours watching over the three that followed, prodding them awake when I was sure that they weren’t breathing.
Heartbreak, death, despair all does strange things and in a way she was just trying to protect herself.

I could have been angry too at the interfering parents, their intervention caused such tragedy, and yet once more its a culture thing, they weren’t intentionally cruel, just wanted what they’d been taught was best for their children, for their happiness, for their fulfilment.

Its a really sad story, but with an ending that hints at a positive future.
I really enjoyed it, it makes for a terrific debut read but its not one I’d re-read now I know how it plays out. I did like seeing things from both Yejide and Akim’s view points. Gave me a real insight into their feelings. 

Stars: Five, a fabulous debut, full of the way a different culture sees parenthood, and the problems it brings when a wife fails to get pregnant.

ARC supplied for review purposes by Netgalley and Publishers

When I first started reading this book, I couldn't put it down. Reading about the marriage culture in Nigeria was so foreign to me. It is common for husbands to have multiple wives. Akin and Yejide meet in college, fall in love and get married. Both agree that multiple wives are not needed for their marriage.

Yet, the years go by and Yejide fails to conceive a child. In their culture, this is all the woman's fault. What???? It is hard to believe in this day and age that such opinions are out there. Yejide has to put up with a meddling mother-in-law. Like some other reviewers, I kept thinking to myself, "why can't Yejide just tell her mother-in-law to shut it!" Obviously, I come from a very different culture.

This book explores the ebbs and flows of marriage. This cuts across all cultures, even if the details may be different.

The book takes a very unexpected turn at the end.

I gave this book only 3 stars because I didn't care for all the graphic descriptions of sex etc. later in the book. Call me a prude, but somethings are better left unsaid.

I liked this story, and I didn't. Although the story itself is filled with twists that I didn't see coming...I felt that the characters themselves weren't well developed and the dialogue was stiff and unrealistic to me. Much of the dialogue was abrupt and lacked depth.

While I felt for the main characters, I never truly felt like I knew them, even halfway through the book. Deep longing and desire can take over our minds, and can make us do things we probably wouldn't do otherwise, and in this story, that's just what happens to these people.

Four years after marrying, Akin and Yejide are unable to conceive. They go to doctors, and even try some unconventional methods to try to have a child. Nothing works. In their culture, everyone looks to the wife as to why there is no child. How could Yejide do this to her husband? How can she be so selfish? In this modern age, that sort of attitude was a bit of shock to me. I found myself wishing this woman would get some nerve and tell her mother in law where she could stuff her opinions. But...she doesn't. Her mother in law pushes another wife on her son, thinking it will either prompt the first wife to get pregnant or at the very least, he can have children with the second. This is a huge amount of pressure to place upon a couple who already has anxiety over the issue. It seemed impossible.

This story ends up taking a turn I wasn't expecting...and then another and then another. In that regard the story was a success. I just really saw the lack of character development as a huge flaw for me. It was as if they started out fine...got a bit further and then...nothing. Flat. Empty.

All in all, is this a horrible book? No, it's not, but it's not good enough for me to give over 3 stars.

Vivid animated dialogue made this a wonderful reading experience. The characters include Yejide, who is desperate to become pregnant, and her husband Akin,who is successful in business but is unable to give his wife what she wants most. The superstitions of Nigeria society play out in this book since a childless woman is seen as a tragedy and when Akin's mother coerces him to take a second wife in an effort to have a grandchild, the family dynamics take a tragic turn.with the introduction of Akin's married brother, Dotun.

All throughout, the political and social chaos of 1980s Nigeria is set forth brilliantly. I look forward to reading more by this author.

“Stay With Me” starts out strong. Yejide and Akin are Nigerian, young, in love and newly married. There is an immense amount of family pressure on them to have a child but Yejide is unable to get pregnant. She even goes so far as to climb the Mountain of Jaw-Dropping Miracles, where she is part of a ceremony with a goat and is guaranteed she will become pregnant.

Both families constantly interfere. At one point, Yejide even talks herself into being pregnant. But after 4 years of marriage and no baby Akin does the unthinkable, and takes a second wife. “I was barren and my husband took another wife.” Things go rapidly downhill from there – both in the marriage and in the quality of the novel.

Yejide runs a beauty salon and Akin is a successful banker and they are financially successful. Yejide does ultimately become pregnant, three times, but there are significant costs associated with those pregnancies. The book is told in part from Yejide’s perspective and in part from Akin’s perspective. After all is said and done, both Akin and Yejide question the sacrifices they made in order to have children. “I no longer believed that having a child was equal to owning the world.”

The novel devolves into a horror story. The characters are miserable, their deceptions are diabolical and everyone (especially the reader) suffers. Throughout the novel there are interesting interludes about the political climate in Nigeria, but these interludes are simply not enough to offset the misery of the story and the torment that is the characters’ lives. The novel was short listed for the Bailey’s Prize, so obviously not everyone agrees with me. On the plus side, the novel is blessedly short.

“You can never cover the truth. Just as nobody can cover the sun’s rays with his hands, you can never cover the truth.”

Stay With Me is about want. It’s about a want so big that it fills you up until you crack, forces you to push and then pass the boundaries of truth, reason, and morality. It’s about secrets, lies and manipulations, but also marriage, trust, hope, and second chances. It’s about people who do things they never thought they could, never thought they would, in hopes that the end will justify the means. It’s about just how far two people will go, what they will do to themselves and to each other, in the hopes of having a child. I can easily see why this book has bowled so many people over. I want so badly to do this book justice with my review, but it’s truly difficult. I worry that I’m making it sound so dark and sad, but know there is hope and beauty here too!

“But I think I did believe that love had immense power to unearth all that was good in us, refine us and reveal to us the better versions of ourselves.”

How It All Stacked Up:
4.5 stars
Stay with me rocked me to my core. As a mama, as a wife, as a human being. I read it in just a few sittings this past weekend, and although it isn’t an incredibly long novel, it packs a huge emotional punch. It’s heavy, but it’s also redemptive and so hopeful. Highly recommended.

"Stay With Me", Ayobami Adebayo's debut novel, was shortlisted for the 'Women's Prize for Fiction' - one of Britain's most prestigious literary awards. The honor is well-deserved.

*****

All cultures expect the younger generation to have children, a biological imperative to ensure that the group doesn't die out. In some societies the 'elders' just pester their kids.....I wanna be a grandma already! In other groups, the pressure to reproduce is intense and relentless, and childless couples are berated and shamed. That's the case for the protagonists in this story - Akin Ajayi and his wife Yejide - a Yoruba couple in Nigeria.

Akin and Yejide are well-educated, middle-class residents of Ilesa, a city in the southwest part of the country. Akin is an accountant and Yejide owns a beauty salon, and the couple have a nice home and a close, loving relationship. The Yoruba people are polygamous, but Yejide is Akin's only wife - a pre-condition for her agreeing to marry him.

Unfortunately the Ajayis are childless after four years of marriage, and their relatives - especially Yejide's mother-in-law - are constantly begging and manipulating Akin to take another wife.....one who will produce kids. Yejide is 'blamed' for the couple's barrenness, though she's been to doctors who said she was fine. Akin also reports that physicians found him sound. Under scrutiny from her entire community, Yejide has tried everything to conceive: prayers, herbs, physicians, rituals, pilgrimages, and so on - to no avail.

One day Akin's mother shows up at her oldest son's home with a pretty young woman named Funmi, and introduces her to Yejide as Akin's second wife. It seems that Akin married Funmi in secret, after years of harassment by his mother. Yejide is shocked. (What a rotter that Akin is!)

Feeling devastated, Yejide decides she MUST get pregnant to preserve her place in the family. As a last resort, Yejide hauls a goat up the 'Mountain of Jaw-Dropping Miracles' where 'Prophet Josiah' leads her through an exotic ritual that includes suckling the goat. Yejide is convinced a miracle HAS occurred and that she's now pregnant. Akin doubts his wife, but Yejide proceeds to take antenatal classes and to prepare a room for the baby. Sonograms at various doctors' offices show no baby, but Yejide insists they're all mistaken. Long story short.....no baby is born.

Through all this, Funmi - who's been installed in her own apartment - is trying to insinuate herself into the Ajayi home, so she can assume the role of a 'true wife.' This, of course, just exacerbates Yejide's frustration and anger.

For his part, Akin wants Yejide to be happy, and would do almost anything to ensure her fulfillment. This leads to the subsequent events in the novel - some happy, some sad, some tragic.

The story is narrated by Akin and Yejide in alternating sections, and we hear how they met, fell in love at first sight, and wed soon afterwards. We also learn that Yejide's mother died giving birth to her, and that her father's other wives were dismissive, cold, insulting, and hurtful. Thus, young Yejide grew up lonely and isolated, and she desperately wants a 'real family' now. Perhaps because of this, Yejide shuts her eyes to obvious deceptions and lies. Yejide's level of denial (and naiveté ?) seems COMPLETELY unbelievable (to me), but may be related to her yearning for a child and her cultural roots.

The story spans several decades, from the 1980s through 2008, during which Nigeria was undergoing repeated political upheavals and changes. For the most part, the characters seem to take this in stride.....just another day in the home country. At one point, however, a violent incident has an indirect (but profound) effect on the Ajayis lives.

Other important characters in the novel include: Dotun - Akin's younger brother, a married philanderer who loves and respects his sibling; and Iya Bolu - a fellow salon owner who becomes Yejide's best friend. There are also appearances by Yejide's father and father-in-law; several stepmothers; and even a bunch of robbers - who send notices of their upcoming burglaries (can you believe this??).

In the course of the story, the author provides peeks at the Yoruba culture, including their culinary tastes (pounded yams are a favorite); celebrations (newborns garner joyous naming ceremonies); funerals (elaborate and expensive); and other traditions - including some folktales. This is fascinating and enlightening.

I very much liked this well-written and engaging book. For me, Yejide is an admirable character, strong-willed and resilient. As for Akin... I didn't like him much, but I do understand the cultural and familial pressures put on him. Stories centered around paternalistic cultures - which have dismissive and condescending attitudes to women - always raise my blood pressure. But I know the world isn't going to change just because I want it to. LOL

I'd highly recommend "Stay With Me" to fans of literary novels.

One of the most exciting recent developments in publishing has been the mainstream publication of fiction by African authors, many of them young people. It can be easy for Americans to settle into a pattern of reading only American and British fiction, but these new voices from Africa can be a vivid call to readers not only to immerse themselves in a different culture but also to recognize in these narratives the universality of human experience.

One of these new voices from Africa is author Ayobami Adebayo, whose debut novel, STAY WITH ME, has been deservedly shortlisted for the Baileys Women's Prize for Fiction. The book traces the misfortunes of a married couple --- Yejide and Akin --- over the course of more than 25 years, from the early 1980s until 2008.

The two meet as students at university and instantly fall in love. They vow to have a more modern marriage than their own parents’ polygamy. They are well-educated, politically engaged and ambitious --- they don’t need to fall into the traditional roles of their parents’ generation. Yejide, in particular, whose own mother died in childbirth and who was consequently raised by her dismissive stepmothers, fears what polygamy might do not only to her relationship with Akin but also to any children born into the family.

But when years pass after their marriage and Yejide is still not pregnant, the couple’s older relatives begin to exert increasing pressure on Akin to accept another wife, one who can give him a son. Yejide rails against this idea, but eventually the family wins out, and Akin marries another woman, Funmi, whom he puts up at an apartment on the other side of town.

Yejide, who owns her own hair salon, and Akin, who works as a bank manager, are solidly middle class, eager to embrace modernity and reject many of the superstitious beliefs that used to govern decisions. But Yejide, increasingly desperate to get pregnant before Funmi and consequently cement her status in the family and Akin’s bond with her, engages in a mystical rite that involves ecstatic dancing and chanting, not to mention suckling a goat.

And that’s just the beginning of the extreme steps that both Yejide and Akin take to ensure the birth of a healthy child and to attempt to maintain their bonds with one another. Things quickly go from bad to worse, and miscommunication, betrayals and misguided attempts at solutions result in repeated tragedy. Meanwhile, this domestic drama is playing out against the backdrop of a country that also seems fated to repeat the same self-destructive patterns, with repeated coups and state violence characterizing daily life.

STAY WITH ME is surprisingly fast-moving. Combined with Adebayo’s remarkably unsentimental prose and the alternating narrative viewpoints, it might be easy to miss key details if it’s read too quickly. But everything is important in this slender yet powerful novel, and readers will find themselves deeply invested in the prospects for Yejide and Akin’s marriage and family. Coming on the heels of so much heartbreak, the ending feels particularly satisfying, and readers, like Yejide herself, will come away from the book brimming over with hard-won hope.

Reviewed by Norah Piehl

Love and honesty take a back seat to pride, honor and family obligation in this emotionally charged novel about an otherwise successful, well-educated young married couple from Nigeria. Having met and fallen in love at their Nigerian university, Sejide and Akin seem to have it all -- she manages her own hair salon and he is a loan officer at a bank. Although there are political uprisings in their beloved country, their life together seems on stable ground, until they face a gut-wrenching dilemma. They are unable to conceive a child, and in Nigerian culture, that means a wife is an abject failure. Akin faces unrelenting pressure, especially from his own dominant mother, to take a second wife to ensure that a child is born. Sejide finds herself alone in this untenable situation, without any other trusted older woman to advise her, since her own mother died giving birth to her, and her father's other wives always made her feel like an outcast.

The plot line takes some twists and turns and occasionally gets a little tangled as the first-person narration sometimes changes from chapter to chapter, giving the reader pause to determine whose perspective is now telling the story. And the unquestioning acceptance of the complicated family and social mores of the fully-ingrained polygamous culture of Nigerian life feels foreign indeed to the contemporary American reader. But the sense of failure felt by both husband and wife at being unable to conceive a child can be understood across all cultural lines. I only wish the ending of the story had been a bit stronger. I saw it coming a mile away. But it was still a decent read.

I really enjoyed this book. It was interesting to me to be ablr to look at the different cultural differences when a family is infertile. The couple were married for four years and still had not conceived, even though they had tried some very odd things to try to get pregnant. There was outside pressure from the man's family (specifically his mother) to take another wife in order to bring children into the marriage.
The book gets really interesting at this point. The couple had agreed not to participate in polygamy but pressures bring about other events.
I think this book is well worth your time. Read it and be entertained and informed.
Personally I will be watching and looking for other books by this writer.

While the premise of this book is interesting, I had issues with its plausibility and the two dimensionality of the characters. Yejide and Akin meet while in college and appear to be deeply in love. Despite the cultural norms of Nigeria, where multiple wives are common, Yejide and Akin agree that neither of them want anyone else in their relationship. As four years go by and they still have no children, Akin's mother intervenes and presents another wife to Akin. Yejide is appalled when Akin does not refuse to add another wife to their family.

Najide runs a beauty salon and Akin is a bank employee. They are doing well financially but they are beginning to drift further and further apart under the pressure from Akin's family that Najide bear a child. Najide goes so far as to tell everyone she is pregnant when she is not. As her "pregnancy" progresses past nine months and two doctors tell her there is no child in her womb, she refuses to believe that she will not bear a child.

I never got a full sense of who Akin and Yejide were as people in their own right. I found some of the political history of Nigeria interesting but it was just background information to the main narrative. The story lacked the richness and layers that I look for in literary fiction.

Stay With Me is a story about a Nigerian young couple who married for love, Yejide and Akin, as they faced the challenges of infertility. In their culture, having children is expected, and they are desperate to become parents. Yejide’s mother died at her birth so she hopes her feelings of belonging to no one will be rectified once she has a baby. Akin’s mother is relentless and goes behind her daughter in laws back to present other women to her son so he can become a father. The couple had agreed polygamy was not for them but the mother persisted and they unwillingly accepted another wife. Desperation to become pregnant leads Yejide, a modern, working woman, to superstition and ritual and she convinces herself she is with child; saddled with the burden of male pride, Akin does his own scheming to make sure there is a baby in their future. When Yejide finally gives birth, there are feelings of betrayal and jealously amidst the joy. The political unrest in Nigeria is the backdrop as this powerful story travels back and forth from the late 1980s when the couple first meets to 2008. The emotional journey of this imperfect marriage packs a punch every step of the way.

Author Ayobami Adebayo sheds some light on cultural traditions and expectations Nigerians aim to adhere to. In this compact, hard hitting 250 page novel, we experience the course this troubled marriage travels, the joys of births and the sorrow of deaths, hopes, superstitions and brutal realities. With complex characters that make difficult decisions to guide their paths, Stay With Me is heartbreaking, revealing, and a must read debut.

In sparse but always engaging prose, this wonderful debut hooks you right at the beginning, and it never lets you go until the final page. Yejide is dying to get pregnant and in the four years she has been married to Akin, they have been unsuccessful in making it happen. As Yourubas in Nigerian the pressure to have children is great. The pressure on Yejide coming from Akin's family borders on extreme. So, the first of many unwraps comes early in the novel. Akin at the urging of his mother takes on a second wife, despite the fact that Akin and Yejide eschewed the practice of polygamy, vowing not to make it apart of their union.

So Ms. Adebayo has put the reader front and center into the marriage of Akin and Yejide which is in full crumble mode. The novel starts in the present time of 2008 then, she takes us back to their initial meeting and works back to the present to show how we got to a collapsed marriage. She uses Akin and Yejide as alternate narrators to give the readers a balanced look as how the perspective of the marriage failing looks from each party. The heart of this novel clearly is love, and how it looks from various perspectives. As Adebayo works through the various themes in the novel and offers up timely reveals, you will be onboard as an emotionally invested reader supporting Adebayo while trying to wrap your head around Akin's solutions to having children. Adebayo is very convincing in her narrative and storytelling, making the reader a believer and fan page after page. I want to tell you some more about the trials of their marriage but to do so would ruin the pleasant pop-ups that come from reading a great novel. This one will be on 2017 best books of the year. At turns funny, gut wrenching, sobering and thoughtful. A home run. Thanks to Netgalley and Knopf Publishing Group for providing an advanced ebook in exchange for a fair and honest review.

Stay with Me is set in Nigeria, spanning the years of a couple, Yejide, and Akin, from college in the eighties up to 2008, the later years of their marriage. Yejide and Akin fall in love instantly and that love takes precedence over long held cultural mores such as polygamy. Yejide is beautiful and agrees to marry Akin even though she has not completed her college degree. Akin becomes a very successful banker. Yejide loves to braid hair and eventually opens her salon. She is happy with this life.

First, the marriage is as perfect as their love is intense. After a few years when Yejide is still not pregnant, the extended family steps in and the pressure for Akin to take another wife becomes powerful and all consuming. Eventually, Akin and Yejide agree to a second wife, but one who will live separately and serve only as a conduit to children in the marriage.

Simultaneously, Nigeria is going through the throes of political upheaval that builds, over the years, to violent demonstrations.

The marriage suffers drastically, and it seems that nothing can save it. The heartache of watching these two young people suffer is a compelling narrative. As a reader pulled into their lives, I had to know if they would make it. How could they possibly recover from all the sadness?

Ayobami Adebayo weaves a rich story of love, family, culture, and country with examples of Nigerian songs, fables, stories, and love. I learned about a country I have never visited through her words. Stay with Me is a seriously compelling debut novel. I am sure this book will propel the author into the literary world with a secure place in the ranks of literary fiction.

Stay with Me is set in Nigeria in the 1980s, up to 2008. Yejide and Akin met at university, and were married soon afterwards. Four years into their marriage, Yejide is still not pregnant. Pressures from parents and society result in Yejide, Akin, and their families doing whatever they can to make it happen – ethically or not. From the trek to the Mountain of Jaw-Dropping Miracles to other methods of bringing children into their lives, people wonder if Yejide is crazy. Yejide finally falls pregnant, and then the secrets are revealed. What has everyone sacrificed for this miracle?

There is little description in this novel, as dialogue is the main vehicle to evoke feelings. Coupled with the narrative written in the first person, from both perspectives, readers see both points of view, and why it children are so important in this marriage. Stay with Me is about exactly that: convincing the other partner to stay in the marriage. This is a novel of lies, deceit, loss and grief, set amid the political environment of Nigeria. It is a novel of tradition, superstition, jealousy, outrage, drama, tragedy, and what it takes to sustain a teenage love affair and a marriage. While this novel is well-written, with all emotions on the table, and fully-developed characters, it does get rather melodramatic at times.

I am a great fan of Nigerian literature -- and there's certainly a renaissance of it now. In addition to the obvious (Chimanda Ngozi Adichie and Teju Cole), I've loved the works of Helen Oyeyemi, Cinelo Okparanta, A. Igoni Barrett and Helon Habila, among others. So I was primed to really love this novel, which is already the recipient of much advance buzz.

I didn't. I thought that (as another reviewer puts it) that the characters were flat and the cliched -- interfering mother-in-law, high-powered yet submissive wife, and so forth. Most readers seem to love the book so maybe the problem lies with the reader, not the writer. Pick it up and judge for yourself.

“Anger is easier than shame.”

Ayobami Adebayo’s debut novel Stay With Me is stunning. Yejide and Akin are a young married Yoruba couple living in Ilesa, a southwestern town in Nigeria. Although the two are madly in love, their failed attempts to have a baby bring them to a catastrophic head against a rigid traditional society. Yejide is smart, enterprising, charming, and confident. It is impossible not to feel for her even as she ventures into ever stranger terrain in her efforts to conceive.

Contrary to her strong outspoken adult persona, Yejide grew up lonely and vulnerable. Her mother died in childbirth, and her father was scant protection against his other wives and their children: “In our polygamous home, eavesdropping was not just rude, it was criminal.” When she marries Akin, the oppressive power of her husband’s family combine with her lack of a support network to create a perfect storm. Add in personality, patriarchy, gender bias, polygamous family values, a failed state, witchcraft, medical crises, jealousy, and depression, and you have an intimate, intense, psychologically complex, and page-turning drama. 

When the point of view shifts from Yejide to Akin, it fills out a deep and complex marital relationship with frustratingly real and damning communication flaws. It’s difficult to show two conflicting perspectives without throwing one of them under the bus, but Adebayo manages it with understated grace. For example, how true this passage rings: “Our relationship was still at the point where it didn’t matter who was wrong or right. We hadn’t arrived at the place where deciding who needed to apologize started another fight.”

As per my propensity towards language, I was taken by the gliding gripping prose as well as the Yoruba phrases and proverbs woven into the text throughout the novel: “when I was a little child, before my right hand was long enough to touch my left ear…” It’s the way a strange and particular story becomes something universal and haunting. Stay With Me was both a pleasure to read and deeply compelling. Adebayo was only 29 when this book was published. One can only imagine where she will go next, but it’s going to be good. 

Yejide and Akin fell in love at a political event while at University and married. They are young, upper-middle class, educated professionals with one foot in the future and one firmly rooted in their traditional Yoruba culture. They've been married for four years with no children, so to remedy this, in walks Akin's mother and the extended female family for what has become a regular visit to discuss this personal matter which is taken on by the larger community. This time, however, they brought a pretty young woman with them - a stranger. It seems that since Yejide can't or won't bear a child (preferably a son,) it's time to add a wife to the household, and she's here now.

Yejide at first assumes this is impossible. She and Akin had discussed their modern view of monogamous marriage. Before long, though, it becomes clear that Akin has assented to his mother's wishes for new woman entering their lives. Yejide is beyond distraught. As Nigeria is ripped apart by political lies, unkept promises, and things that look different than they seem, so is the marriage. Against a backdrop of political unrest, we watch a marriage go through its own similar upheaval.

The outside pressure brought to bear on both the individuals and the marriage lead both to multiple extremes. Nobody is a hero here. Everyone is supremely human and flawed, each with his or her own rationale for acting the way they do. Nonetheless, love cannot win out when truth falls victim to perception. Akin wants to be perceived as virile. Akin's mother wants that too. Yejide wants desperately to be loved, but when that seems impossible, she throws away nearly everything.

Something that has cropped up repeatedly for me over the past few years is the way machismo is enforced by women -- be it in fiction or in reality. Akin's mother is a perfect example of this. She wants certain esteem, and her son is the way to get that -- who cares about this woman he loves?

There is an intricate dance done in the writing where things happen and we only find out the hows and whys later. The balancing act of a disintegrating family within a disintegrating society is nimbly handled. Adebayo covers the family's struggles and torments with a skillful style that takes them from the personal to the universal.

The pace was disjointed at times, and I found my patience wandering. The main tale is of a family, with feigned references to various childhood tales that were pushing too hard for metaphoric value. The book begins in the 1980s, during a period of political tumult in Nigeria, and moving on through 2008. Mention was made of the coups, elections and riots during this time period, but they seemed superfluous to the main story.

Set in Nigeria, “Stay With Me” pivots around a series of secrets Akin has kept from his wife, Yejide, leading to the unraveling of their marriage. Introduce Dotrun, Akin's brother into the mix as a potential solution, and watch how this "solution" only adds salt to the wounds of this marriage.
Akin and Yejide first met during their University years, where it was love at first sight. They soon marry and begin desperate attempts to conceive. After bouts of infertility, Akin's family insists that he take a second wife, Funmi. Akin lacks a set of cojones, and cedes to his Moomi's (mother's) demands to succumb to polygamy. The theory being that if Funmi gets pregnant, Funmi's pregnancy will ultimately open up Yejide's womb. Well, it doesn't quite happen. Yejide does end up getting pregnant, but with tragic circumstances.

I wasn't sure that I would finish this book, but parts of it were well written enough for me to continue reading. Felt like this was something my high school English teacher would have made us read.

Stay with Me or Rotimi in Yoruba, is the name that frustrated mothers give when previous children have died and they are urging this new child, this hope to remain in the land of the living, instead of joining the siblings that died before them. If you or anyone you know has experienced miscarriage or the loss of an infant, this fictional representation of a real issue will reverberate in your mind long after you've read it.
The novel is told in dual perspective and dual timelines but the speakers aren't defined so the reader is invited to get to know the voices even when they don't identify themselves. This immediately ushers you into a space that this is no ordinary book. At first, the story is presented as being that of a childless Nigerian couple and their unorthodox way of dealing with their infertility - the woman seeking assistance from medicine doctors and healers, the man going a completely different route. But as the novel progresses, it becomes clear that this is an expression of motherhood and its many hardships borne by many faces - a mother who dies giving birth, a mother who loses several children in infancy, a mother who has two sons at odds with each other and a mother who has several children that she doesn't seem to care for until her bigger hopes and dreams are revealed.
Stay with Me is also about sacrifice and fear and what we give up when we refuse to stare fear in the face. It contains many references to Nigerian Yoruba culture and traditions, some of which are difficult to understand and accept but ultimately, we don't have to accept someone's live, just acknowledge that what they do, may be their best.

I kept seeing this book all over Booktube and saw it up for the Baileys Prize, so I knew I had to read it. Right after I did buy it though, I was approved on NetGalley to review it. Go figure.
I absolutely adored this book. One of my favorites of the year.
I will say at one point, around the half way mark I had to put it down, as it really hit home with me as a mother.
The book certainly made me think about what it would be like if one day my husband told me he would be marrying another, about being a mother, and a family unit in general.
I would highly recommend this book to all. I look forward to more novels written by Ayobami Adebayo.

I received a copy of this book through Netgalley for an honest opinion. I would like to thank Ayobami Adebayo and Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group for the opportunity to read and review this beautiful book.

The best debut novel I have read in a long time is Nigerian writer Ayobami Adebayo’s “Stay With Me”, a featured book at this year’s Editor’s Buzz Panel at the Book Expo in May in New York City.

Yejide and Akin are a young married Nigerian couple troubled by their inability to have a baby. When their family brings a second wife to become pregnant by Akin, it creates a untenable situation.

This strains Yejide and Akin’s marriage, and Yejide goes to great lengths, including going on a controversial religious pilgrimage, to become pregnant. Yejide will do anything to get pregnant, and Akin is helpless as he watches his wife struggle with their infertility.

Adebayo’s setting of 1980’s Nigeria, with its troubled political times, is enlightening and adds to the tension of the situation that Yejide and Akin find themselves in. I loved learning about the food, customs and life in general in Nigeria.

“Stay With Me” is one of the most compelling, heartbreaking books I have ever read. It is also one of the most surprising. Just when you think you know which direction it is going, it does a 180 degree turn, and you are taken to a new place.

Adebayo is a superb writer, one who combines fascinating, realistic characters and puts them in a storyline that just breaks your heart at so many different places in the story. I found myself so taken in by her beautiful writing, I would lose myself in the story. This is a book you must read in a quiet spot, where you will be uninterrupted.

The title, “Stay With Me” brings the whole story together at the end, and I confess to tearing up and even outright weeping at the end of this beautiful story. I give “Stay With Me” my highest recommendation.

Stay With Me begins in the middle, which is when, after four years of marriage but no children Akin is being pushed by his mother to take another wife. He loves Yejide, but to not have children is incomprehensible in their society and a source of anguish to his wife. When he does give in it is as little as possible, with a woman who he does not allow to live with them and whom he only visits once a month. Still, it is enough to force Yejide to take desperate measures, visiting medicine men who claim they can give her a baby. She does become pregnant, or so she thinks, but ten months later despite her claims and the size of her belly there is no baby. From this turbulent middle author Ayobami Adebayo swings forward and back in time in what is a love story struggling under the onerous weight of expectations.

Throughout Stay With Me Adebayo underscores the generational divide found in so many cultures as they move from traditional, rural society to modern day. Akin does not want another wife. It is his mother who is steamrolling her way into their marriage in her desire for a grandchild—despite the fact that her other son has already given her grandchildren. And it is not simply a legacy issue. She is still tied to old ways of the spirit world, suggesting the couple have a small child live with them because its spirit will call to other children and even worse, going so far as to try and convince the couple, after they do have a child (who has sickle cell anemia) that they should kill that child because its spirit is too weak. The fact that she is allowed to act on her beliefs and force a second marriage for Akin is hard to reconcile.

I'm not being sensationalistic by saying that Stay With Me is an awful story. Awful for the love decimated by pain, sadness, deception, loss, and secrets. Sharing more of the plot is not possible without spoiling it, but suffice it to say Adebayo takes O. Henry’s The Gift of the Magi and expands it to a Greek tragedy. Yet, for all the operatic drama, Stay With Me bridges the span between cultural expectations that feel incomprehensible with emotions that feel all too real.

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Stay With Me
“Stay With Me” is a fine example of a story which takes one cultural premise and explores its consequences for a particular group of people. Set in Nigeria, the two protagonists are a married couple who have not been able to conceive. The Nigerian cultural premise is that barrenness is the fault of the wife, and the husband may resort to a second wife in order to ensure the family bloodline.

Once the premise has been established, the Nigerian setting is not a major factor in “Stay With Me”, although there are occasional references to coups and protests going on in the background of the story. The point of view alternates between the innocent wife Yijede and her husband Akin, and as neither is entirely reliable as a narrator, they conjure up enough mayhem and misunderstanding between them to create a mystery which drives the tale.

Adebayo is a smooth writer and her characters are believable (though one reader complained that Yijede is too innocent to be true.) A good quick read.

Stay With Me is Ayobami Adebayo's debut novel about a marriage between two people in Nigeria, a marriage based on lies and the deepest desire to have children in a culture where bearing children is put above loyalty in a marriage.

When I read the summary for Stay With Me, I knew it was going to be an emotional story but I had no idea the scope of heartache I would feel throughout my reading. My heart hurt in equal parts for Yejide, who wants nothing more than to bear a child of her own and for her husband Akin, who's infertility causes such self destruction its almost hard to read with each turn of the page. They both desire the same thing, yet are unable to be open and honest with each other about their heartache.

"It was the lie Id believed in the beginning. Yejide would have a child and we would be happy forever. The cost didn't matter. It didn't matter how many rivers we had to cross. At the end of it all was this stretch of happiness that was supposed to begin only after we had children and not a minute before." p.221

I had to take quite a few breaks throughout my reading of Stay With Me, to cope with my own emotions and process what was happening in the story. Yejide's life is full of devastating losses and heartbreak, so much so that those final pages made my heart ache for her and all that she had lost.

As someone who has dealt with infertility and the desire for children in her own marriage, watching Yejide and Akin struggle was what left me the most emotionally scarred. Everyone handles the struggle of wanting children in their own way and Akin's choice of building a marriage around his lie was the worst thing he could have done. It hurt my heart to watch Yejide discover his lies and see how that affected her own thoughts about herself.

"But the biggest lies are often the ones we tell ourselves. I bit my tongue because I did not want to ask questions. I did not ask questions because I did not want to know the answers. It was convenient to believe m husband was trustworthy; sometimes faith is easier than doubt." P. 233

I'm so glad I read this book, as much as it made my heart hurt and brought a lot of my own emotions to the surface. Thank you to aaknopf for the copy!! I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a story outside their comfort zone, set in a place you're unfamiliar with. Especially if you don't mind shedding a few tears along the way.

Memorable quotes:

"Besides, what would be left of love without truth stretched beyond its limits, without those better versions of ourselves that we present as the only ones that exist?" p. 75

"The reasons why we do the things we do will not always be the ones that others will remember. Sometimes I think we have children because we want to leave behind someone who can explain who we were to the world when we are gone." p. 119

"You can never cover the truth. Just as nobody can cover the sun's rays with his hands, you can never cover the truth." p.202

Stay With Me by Ayobami Adebayo is a beautiful gift, but in order to reach what lies inside, you must first peel back layer upon layer of wrapping. The book tells the story of the marriage of Yejide and Akin and is set over the span of 20+ years in Nigeria. Although Yejide and Akin married one another for love, the priority their culture gives to having children results in years of heartbreak, secrets, and tragedy. Told from both Yejide's and Akin's perspectives, the story that unfolds is one of the limits of love, the measures the heart takes to protect itself, political turmoil, and the meaning of family.

There were so many things about Stay With Me that I loved, even though my heart took a beating as I read this book. My idea of marital strife is limited to my own modern culture, where financial troubles and infidelity are typically among the worst problems couples face. Stay With Me exposed me to a culture in which marriages are also tested by things like polygamy, a woman's duties to her husband's family, ancient rituals, and constant political turmoil. The most interesting element to the cultural side of the story was in Yejide's conflicting emotions about those elements. In a culture where having multiple wives was more common than not, Yejide showed that loving Akin meant experiencing intense jealousy and resentment when a second wife shows up at her house. Yejide's progressive and feminist ideas, especially for her culture, are shown in stark contrast to other aspects of her personality, such as her pursuit of traditional rituals in order to have a child and her obedience to her mother-in-law and present the reader with a deeply complicated and, at times, frustrating character. This is not to ignore the depth of Akin's character, however. As the book progresses, the reader discovers Akin's secrets and the lengths he is willing to go as a result of his love for Yejide. All these elements lead to a discovery at the end of the book that made the beating my heart took completely worth the pain.

I loved the insight into the Nigerian culture and politics the book provided, and I found myself identifying with Yejide for her independence, love for Akin, and complicated emotions about motherhood. For literary fiction fans, this book is a genuine treat, and the payoff is incredible.

This book has been out for half of a year and I've been so excited to read it. I was tempted to buy a copy several times, but instead I wound up checking this out at the library. I'm glad I did, because I didn't wind up loving this book the way I hoped I would. I liked learning about this culture, half way around the world from me. I am always fascinated to learn the ways our lives are similar to other cultures, and the way our lives are different.

Yejide and Akin have not been able to get pregnant for several years of their marriage. There is so much pressure from his family to have sons that Akin's mother brings another wife for him to marry. Yejide is so angry and hurt, she begs Akin to not take the wife. He agrees but the pressure to have a child is weighing heavily on him. The family's expectations hurt their relationship making this abook that is difficult to read at times. The reasons for this broken relationship are so hurtful that it is sometimes unenjoyable to read. Readers can expect a lot of fury in these pages.

Yetide and her husband Akin are a middle-class couple living in Nigeria in the 1980s. He works in a bank, she runs her own hairdressing salon. They apparently have a happy marriage. But they (or more particularly, Yetide) are under great pressure from Akin’s mother because they do not have a child. They have both grown up in polygamous households and she persuades Akin to take a second wife.

Yetide is a wonderful character, alternately beautiful and strong, and isolated and bullied. Her own mother died in childbirth and she was ostracised by her husband’s other wives. By contrast, she adores Akin’s mother and this makes it harder for her to stand up to her. These experiences compound her own feelings about not being able to have a child and the lengths she is willing to go.

The narration switches between Yetide and Akin’s points of view as we see the strain their changed relationship places on them. You get a powerful sense of the conflicting pressures on them and the importance of family. I also enjoyed the details of their daily life. The minor characters are brilliantly drawn and there is warmth and humour entwined with darker moments. The increasing sense of threat from political events entwines with their personal story.

I did have some issues with the latter part of the book. First we have Yetide’s perspective on a key event, then it doubles back to give us Akin’s. This doesn’t tell you anything you couldn’t have worked out, and slows the story down just when the tension should be rising. I also struggled with the plausibility of some elements of the plot and the end was a little predictable. But despite these reservations, it was a fascinating insight into Nigerian life and the conflict between the ideal of motherhood and the reality.
*
I received a copy of Stay with Me from the publisher via Netgalley

I have nothing but praise for Stay With Me. This novel by Ayobami Adebayo is a masterpiece.

It is a fast paced, lovely tale of the relationship between Yejide and Akin. Yejide has a difficult time getting pregnant. Akin is pressured from his family to take another wife. Neither believe in polygamy. Can their marriage survive the odds they face?

The story is straight forward - no unnecessary wordiness or drama. You feel as though you’re right in the story, like you’re hovering over it, waiting to find out what happens next. Your investment in this story may surprise you.

If you decide to read this, you will struggle with your emotions. You will feel for both husband and wife, and how tradition still affects African society today. The reader gets a strong insight into Nigerian culture as well as a big of politics. I love African literature, and I loved this story. I highly recommend!

I think that if I were a mother, I would have gotten more from this book and also I never would have been able to read it. This book discusses so much about motherhood and despite being set in Nigeria, I think for people who deal with infertility, the cultural differences would seem less stark than they did, at times, for me. Regardless of those differences, this book is incredibly, incredibly powerful and I really recommend it for anyone who is looking for an emotionally impactful book that will probably make them cry, but also think a lot, and want to call their own mother if that's something they're still able to do. I haven't been doing well at including trigger warnings, but I think you need a heads up for this one, so here they are: death of a child, cheating, terminal illness, murder, death of a parent.

I think if you're a person who loves literary fiction, this book is a must read. I'm still thinking about and dissecting it days later.

Stay with Me is a book full of anguish. There is so much loss that it can be painful to read. What perhaps makes it even more tragic is that the suffering can all be traced back to two people in love. From this love, they try to build a life and a family but, instead, they face deception, humiliation, betrayal and death. How much can a person withstand, even in the name of faith and love? Stay with Me is beautifully written in a way that brings the characters at the center of this devastation into well rounded realization. Even the secondary characters have differentiation and depth. The plot is given greater urgency by the setting which depicts the societal and governmental chaos erupting all around. Lastly, the audio version of the novel is further enhanced by the wonderful narration that brings all the emotions to life. Stay with Me is truly beauty made from loss.

Stay with Me is a book full of anguish. There is so much loss that it can be painful to read. What perhaps makes it even more tragic is that the suffering can all be traced back to two people in love. From this love, they try to build a life and a family but, instead, they face deception, humiliation, betrayal and death. How much can a person withstand, even in the name of faith and love? Stay with Me is beautifully written in a way that brings the characters at the center of this devastation into well rounded realization. Even the secondary characters have differentiation and depth. The plot is given greater urgency by the setting which depicts the societal and governmental chaos erupting all around. Lastly, the audio version of the novel is further enhanced by the wonderful narration that brings all the emotions to life. Stay with Me is truly beauty made from loss.

What an outstanding book. I loved this book!!!! This book depicts what we will do for the things we want and what can happen once we get it. This is a love story between Yejide and her husband Akin. We walk with them as they meet in university and continue the journey to marriage, children, loss and family. This book captured me from page one and would not let go. The writing was eloquent and I really enjoyed the references to the African culture. We travel with Yejide as she embarks on full-filling her wish to give her husband a child. How far will she go to do this? How will family interject themselves in this quest? How far will a mother go to save her child from hurt or pain? This book answers all those questions and does so magnificently. Oustsanding novel and I do look forward to reading more from this talented author. To NetGalley, I thank you for allowing me to read the ARC of this exceptional book as well as thanks to the the author and the publisher in return for my honest review.

Adabayo is a mistress of literary hooks: her opening lines of chapters and how she filters in the various twists and turns of the plot ensured that I found it difficult to stop reading and put the book down. She delicately leaves in her narrative way hints and clues that ultimately pulls the sequences together like a thread. However, I also found the narrative as hanging rather loosely in places and the language and technique pitted with bumps/holes. Adaboyo wrote this novel in alternating chapters of two first person voices which I found unconvincing (the first two parts are predominantly Yejibe’s point of view and the third part is predominantly Akin’s side of things). Akin and Yejide are not particularly rounded characters and in spite of their deeply tragic personal circumstances they didn’t always manage to inspire much empathy in me. I don’t want to give away the way the novel meanders and develops because this is the axle upon which this novel really works well, but I found the portrait of Yejide as a working mother extremely unbelievable. Both Yejide and Akin are successful business people and yet they do not seem particularly invested in their jobs; there is no indication of struggle and Yejide opens and closes down hairdressing salons wherever she wishes and with instant success. I found the scene where she goes up the mountain and breastfeeds a goat more realistic than their day-to-day routine (which makes up the main fabric of marriage). I also found it extremely difficult to disentangle their voices, if it were not for the content of what was being said. Adabayo does try to distinguish them; Akin speaks in shorter staccato pace and abbreviates sentences by removing pronouns but the tone and voice still remain similar. This may also be due to the fact that the main narrative force/pace of the novel lies in dialogue. The characters regularly seem to lack emotions (and come across rather two dimensionally and infantile) although I was deeply touched by the scene when Akin cuts Yejide’s hair; a gesture which embraces the nature of their grief and briefly unites them. As mentioned, this is a novel that hinges on dialogue and I enjoyed the colour and cultural setting that this conveyed (scattered with Yoruba). There are also two Yoruba folk/fairy tales (one told to their children by Akin, the other by Yejibe which link into their own story and struggle. They both also choose to interfere with the story/ending which is especially symbolic of Akin’s own attempt to change the direction of the destiny of his marriages). Adabayo also grounds the novel in a specific time in Nigeria; peppering the novel with political and social history; the robbers, references to the military coup under Colonel Tola Zidon and the political unrest resulting from the annulment of the Nigerian Presidential elections in 1993 which causes the ultimate misunderstanding which drives Yejibe to a drastic final decision. The fast paced narrative, dialogue and setting make for a vivid cinematographic effect. I can see this novel being made into a very gripping and intense film!

I checked this book out from the local library to read with Modern Mrs. Darcy Bookclub. All opinions are my own. ?????Stay With Me by Ayobami Adebayo. Yejide suffered an impossible childhood but married into a loving family. Only soon to realize a family's love sometimes hurts more than it helps. She struggles through married life dealing with an intolerable mother-in-law and a secret that will destroy everything she has loved for so long. It is only after tragedy strikes this family 3 times the secret surfaces and once Yejide has made up her mind to leave does she realize just how much she has missed. A tragic story with a happy ending. Very different than what I expected it to be.

This was such a heartbreaking story in so many ways. From arranged marriages, deceit, attempting to achieve the impossible demands and always being overruled, Yejide is hoping and trying to conceive a child. A major necessity of a wife in her native Nigeria.

I felt so sorry for this poor woman. First with the demands, then the arrival of a "new" wife and her in-laws were incorrigible! And the husband? I will leave interested persons to discover that feeling as I don't want to insert a spoiler here.

I thoroughly enjoyed my journey with Yejide. She was a great character and she grew on me very quickly. I really liked this story a lot.

Huge thanks to Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group and Net Galley for providing me with a free e-galley in exchange for an honest, unbiased review.

The emotional range of the characters presented in Ayobami Adebayo's debut novel titled, Stay with Me, will penetrate the defenses of the hardest hearted reader. There are losses and joys that reach the depths and heights of human experience. The centrality of children to the narrative will make this novel an ideal choice for a book club comprised of parents. The power of cultural expectations can be overwhelming, and Adebayo draws us into Nigeria and the expectations of that culture on those who live there. Fans of literary fiction are those readers most likely to enjoy reading this finely written novel.

Rating: Four-star (I like it)

"Stay with Me" is a great novel about family, love, loss, relationships and the difficult side of theses topics. This is a rather short book that packs a punch. I found the characters relatable and I felt genuinely interested in them. I felt for Yejide and her infertility problems. Overall, a great book that kept just enough intrigue to keep me reading.

Well written debut that largely deserves the hype it has received. Infertility wreaks havoc whenever it occurs but this is the first time we've seen the impact in Nigeria. I appreciated this novel more than I enjoyed it, in part because there was a lot of misery here. I liked the details of Nigerian life and rooted for Yejide and Akin up to a certain point. There are some twists (no spoilers). This is short and the language spare which I thought didn't allow the characters to show as much of themselves as I would have liked. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC. I look forward to more from Adebayo.

From the first chapter, I could not put Stay With Me down. This is a story about marriage and family set in Nigeria, and Adebayo masterfully alternates between the perspectives of Yejide and Akin, and between present day and the past. As layer after layer of the story was revealed, the pieces came together, and I was stunned by the things that I hadn't paid attention to but were there all along. I was completely absorbed and moved by Stay With Me. It's definitely one of my favorite books of 2017!

Set in Nigeria and spanning over a decade, Stay With Me is a powerful novel about marriage, loss, motherhood, tradition, and self-identity. It is a novel in which traditional Nigerian customs and culture come into conflict with modern Nigerian life. Yejide has been happily married to her husband Akin for four years-four years in which they have struggled to conceive. This is especially devastating as the culture centers a woman’s value around motherhood. Yejide longs to become a mother and fulfill her expected role, but their families are running out of patience.

Unbeknownst to Yejide, Akin has caved into familial pressure and taken a second wife. Polygamy is a common custom and there’s a long-held belief that one pregnancy in the household will lead to another. Yejide however, is enraged and devastated by this betrayal. She is determined to become pregnant before the second wife, and the events of the novel fall quickly like dominoes from here.

Stay With Me was continuously surprising. I often thought I knew were the story was headed, and I was always mistaken. These twists and turns were not unbelievable however, but were grounded in realism. As shocking as some of the events in the novel are, they never seem melodramatic or farfetched.

I also loved how Adebayo wove Nigeria’s sociopolitical history throughout the novel. The real life events and political upheaval provided context to the characters’ lives. Even in the wake of military coups, historic elections, and violence in the streets, everyday life continues.

Adebayo’s characters are so well-drawn-I was completely invested in their lives. For example, Yejidi’s hope, grief, and rage were painfully palpable. They are not perfect people, and at times are incredibly unlikable, but they always seemed real. I could understand where they were coming from even if I didn’t agree with their choices. The fact that we hear from both Yejidi and Akin’s perspectives meant that I could easily empathize with both of them, even if my loyalty often shifted at times. There is no clear right or wrong side here. The ending-while not perfect-was charged with hope.

Stay With Me packs a major punch, especially for a novel that is less than 300 pages. Adebeyo has infused so much emotion and created such vivid characters in not that many pages. The straightforward prose is powerful, but for me it was her characters that kept me turning the page and whom I didn’t want to leave behind. Stay With Me has earned its place as one of my favorite reads of the year. I still find myself thinking about the characters and imagine I will do so for a long time to come.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

**A huge thank you to Netgalley and Knopf for the opportunity to read this ARC in exchange for an honest review**

WOW, WOW, WOW! Can y'all hear my round of applause? This book...has left me speechless. Set in Nigeria, it follows the treacherous relationship of Yejide and Akin. And let me tell you, the finger pointing, the pain, the agony, the deception, the love is all real...but how can they all coexist? Like I said, I'm speechless so all I can say is somebody PLEASE read it. You will shed tears; you will want to throw the book; you will become enamored; you will be pissed....soooo many emotions in one book! Meanwhile, I'm going to go hug my hubby a little tighter.

Compelling story. The characters are flawed and really ring true. The story is solid. Poignant story about love: the pain we cause the ones we love by our own weakness and pain and fear.

The only critique I have is that there is nothing to signal when the narration changes back and forth between the husband and wife, so I often found myself halfway down the first page of a new chapter before realizing that the person telling the story wasn't the same as the chapter before.

Beautifully written story of a Woman whom you will love as she struggles and conquers and tries with all the situations life throws at her. You will cheer her on,yell at her, be empathetic and sad and happy and angry with her just as with a good friend. Parallel to her story is the history going on in her country. I selected this for my book club and everyone gave it high marks. Sending it to my daughter and daughter in law.

This book does so much work considering the fact that it's only 260 pages long. It provides an intimate look into Nigerian culture, focusing on the lives and interactions of one specific family. The way these family members love, hate, betray, and forgive each other is beautifully written and absolutely heartbreaking. I'm a sucker for a well-written family drama and this novel landed right in my wheelhouse.

I was provided an advance e-galley of this novel from the publishers through Netgalley.

Stay With Me is a powerful novel about family and sacrifice. Led by strong characters I won't soon forget, I was completely caught up in the story from the beginning. This novel had many layers, and as each one unfolded I was more intrigued. I just have one word for Yejide and Akin: communication!

"Stay with Me: a novel" by Ayobami Adebayo, is one of those stories that is hard to put down. Set in Nigeria, the story of one extended family and the societal expectations brings details of a different culture to light. Fascinating, heartbreaking, endearing, amazing.

I won a copy of this book in a Goodreads Giveaway.

Motherhood in Nigeria is serious business.The pressure that is put on you is unreal. Being a barren woman is an offense in the family and the husband is told to take another wife that can give you heirs especially boys. But what happens if the man is impotent and knows it but never tells his wife? This was a very good read makes me glad I wasn't raised in that society.

#cillasbookmaniacs

listened to the audiobook and couldn't put it down. of course it hits close to home for Nigerians given the superstitions and the terrible political turmoil of mid 1980's and beyond that many of us are all too familiar with. but that is just the backdrop for a twist-and-turn story that reveals the complications life can impose. easy read. great story.

Many thanks to Netgalley and Knopf Doubleday for the ARC of this book!

I truly enjoyed so much about this book! I loved the story and the glimpse into a culture I know little about. I truly could not figure out how it would end, but it was perfect! I like how the author switched time periods and points of view, yet treated her readers like mature individuals avoiding chapter titles stating who was talking and when and just let us discover it in her writing. I just can't think of anything I didn't like about this book.
Author - 1⭐️
Story - 1⭐️
Ending - 1⭐️
Offensiveness - 1⭐️
Recommend - 1⭐️

The writing is fluid and beautiful. The story solid. The characters rich especially Akin and Yejide. Sometimes the story got slow so that's why not 4 stars but I really liked it. I just liked Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi more.

The protagonist struggles with the fact that she killed her mother during childbirth. She is shunned by her stepmothers and although loved by her Dad has love comes with guilt. When she falls head or heals in love with Akin, they soon deal with infertility and judgement by her mother in law. She resents the second wife and longs to be a mother. Their love is further tested when their children appear to be fated to die at young age. Complex parenting, spousal and sibling relationships are explored with the chaotic political unrest in Nigeria.

This is well written, and offers an interesting perspective on a culture quite different from my own. But I had a BIG problem buying into the major plot point in the story. Really ?!?! Without giving it away, I just couldn't believe that Yijide didn't know that there was something wrong in her marriage. She was an intelligent, college-educated woman. Even Akin's explanation wouldn't convince a reasonably informed girl. That's all I have to say about that.

Heartbreaking, captivating, beautifully written. Yejide was such a rich character and the author persuaded me to truly care for her. The setting was so interesting to me, as I know nothing about Nigeria and the different customs and beliefs of the culture there.

This book lives up to its title and will stay with me for a long time.

This book is utterly brilliant. I'd read a couple of rhapsodic reviews of this novel and was somewhat worried that actually reading the book might be a letdown but it totally lived up to the hype. It's a gripping and nuanced exploration of a marriage that is falling apart from within and without. Definitely the best book I've read in a while, I'm buying several copies to give away this Christmas.

I truly enjoyed reading this novel.The author gave a great depiction of what it means to be a woman, mother, and wife in a society that imposes great restrictions on each of these roles. I appreciated how the author navigated between multiple voices in each chapter.

One of the best books I have read in a long time. Captivating, heart wrenching, true in a way that makes your soul ache. I read it in a day and don't know what to do with myself now that I've run out of pages... This is not just another story retold - this one truly will stay with you.

Yejide and Akin are happily married, and, for the most part, satisfied with their life except for one thing. Yejide, despite trying for years, still hasn’t been able to carry a baby to term. In Ethiopia, apparently, this is considered extremely shameful, and it seems the woman is always blamed. Not only does Yejide grieve because she longs for a baby, but they are both under intense pressure from relatives to do whatever it takes to provide them with descendants. This “whatever it takes” includes Akin taking a second wife, not unusual in their culture, but a terrible blow to Yehide. She in turn makes some desperate decisions in order to conceive. What follows is a series of traumatic events that test them both.

I appreciated this author’s vivid writing style, and it kept me reading avidly even though the extreme reactions of Yehide didn’t seem credible to me. I thought Akin’s reactions much more believable. I was especially dubious of Yejide’s decision near the end. Would any mother really do this based on unverified information? Of course, this could be due to cultural differences. I enjoyed gaining more insight into Ethiopian culture. This alone is a good reason to read this. I found that part fascinating. I can’t say much more without spoilers, but I will look forward to reading more books by this author in the future.

Note: I received an advance copy of the ebook from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

I truly enjoyed reading this novel.The author gave a great depiction of what it means to be a woman, mother, and wife in a society that imposes great restrictions on each of these roles. I appreciated how the author navigated between multiple voices in each chapter.

One of the best books I have read in a long time. Captivating, heart wrenching, true in a way that makes your soul ache. I read it in a day and don't know what to do with myself now that I've run out of pages... This is not just another story retold - this one truly will stay with you.

Yejide and Akin are happily married, and, for the most part, satisfied with their life except for one thing. Yejide, despite trying for years, still hasn’t been able to carry a baby to term. In Ethiopia, apparently, this is considered extremely shameful, and it seems the woman is always blamed. Not only does Yejide grieve because she longs for a baby, but they are both under intense pressure from relatives to do whatever it takes to provide them with descendants. This “whatever it takes” includes Akin taking a second wife, not unusual in their culture, but a terrible blow to Yehide. She in turn makes some desperate decisions in order to conceive. What follows is a series of traumatic events that test them both.

I appreciated this author’s vivid writing style, and it kept me reading avidly even though the extreme reactions of Yehide didn’t seem credible to me. I thought Akin’s reactions much more believable. I was especially dubious of Yejide’s decision near the end. Would any mother really do this based on unverified information? Of course, this could be due to cultural differences. I enjoyed gaining more insight into Ethiopian culture. This alone is a good reason to read this. I found that part fascinating. I can’t say much more without spoilers, but I will look forward to reading more books by this author in the future.

Note: I received an advance copy of the ebook from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

This emotional story centres on family pressures, secrets, grief, betrayals and shock revelations. Based around a culture that I’m not completely familiar with and set against a backdrop of political unrest, I really enjoyed this story which kept me turning pages and guessing throughout.

One small point that I would like to make is that the author tries to bring into the story, the political unrest of Nigeria, but I felt that this came across as a little disjointed and didn’t go deep enough to really link with the main story. That said, this was an extremely great debut and I very much look forward to reading more books by this author in the future.

I chose to read this NetGalley ARC for which I have given a voluntary and unbiased review.

Fantastic read. Heart wrenching and heart warming. Ayobami is an incredible story teller who captures humanity’s failures, tribulations and beauty in this story about love and deceit. So many underlined parts!!

I wanted to like this book. I picked it up, excited to gain insight into the struggle of being an infertile couple in Nigeria, where adulthood and parenthood are intertwined. Sadly, this book quickly became over the top with histrionic characters and unbelievable situations. Yejide and Akin simply did not seem realistic to me as people. Adebayo seemed to want to make this book into a Nollywood soap opera, which is unfortunate.

I give this book 2 stars for at least keeping me interested in the ending. I think the author does have promise, and I look forward to her next work.

Overwhelmingly sad book about lives ruined by pressures of society. Akin and Yejide long to take their seemingly perfect marriage to the next level by starting a family. When a baby fails to be conceived and the blame is put on Yejide, a second wife is brought into the family. This starts a chain of events that rocks the foundation of Akin and Yejide marriage and the reader has a front row seat through both their viewpoints as life spirals uncontrollably.
Some things didn't add up for me, as an onlooker to the story they seemed obvious. A chance remark during a psychotic episode when Yejide has a false pregnancy is left unexplained. Still, it was an interesting window in Nigeria's emerging struggles as people straddle traditional old views with modern notions. Well written and tragic, I was caught in the story despite the inconsistencies of the plot.