How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help

I should preface this with a confession. I love Amanda Palmer! I was hoping for great things.

Whilst the book couldn't live up to my ridiculous expectations it was a great read. It details not only her music and life but also makes some important points about art, connection and self worth. I highly recommended it.

A honest, heartfelt book about human connections and trust. Amanda Palmers honesty in sharing her life stories and experiences helped me to see life with more courage and less fear. I read this book because of her inspiring TED talk. You can see the sincerity in her eyes and that sincerity is what brought me to this book. I recommend this book to anyone who has doubt about themselves and needs reinforcement. Because of this book, I will start asking. Thank you Amanda.

Amanda Palmer made news when she fought her record label for her freedom, since she was not getting a good financial deal from them. That kind of asking – asking for freedom to retain creative and financial discretion over your own work – is noble. Then, the nobility of this struggle was undermined by her decision to rely on crowdfunding to continue her career's next steps. Artists/creators struggle and suffer to create, because that is the gift they need to offer the world. The recent phenomenon of crowdfunding is a very necessary tool that helps unknown artists get a leg up so they can attain much-needed exposure that they can parlay into a career - a leg up they would not have gotten otherwise. There is no shortage of artists trying to get the backing they need to make their creations a reality, competition is fierce and opportunities scarce. So I find it rather disappointing when an artist who CAN get an agreeable record deal with relative ease, chooses instead to divert funds (by ASKING for them - how ironic) that might have gone to people who CANNOT.

That's the main reason why I wanted to read this book: I wanted to understand and perhaps reconcile Amanda's attitude towards asking when that asking deprives others. I listened to the first four (of fifteen) chapters in the audiobook. I couldn't go any further.

Amanda describes how hard her parents worked to put her through a prestigious university. How after dropping out of a Masters program she took a low-paying job at an ice cream store until she figured out that it was more profitable for her to busk her mime act on the street because getting a real job seemed so unpalatable to her. Despite her privilege & advantages, she sounds rather proud of her discovery that miming for change, stripping, sewing, singing... whatever... would spare her the disgrace of getting a real job, which she says she never has.

Amanda's self-described "anguish" over asking for what she needs doesn't ring true from such a confirmed extrovert - a person who, according to her, has been asking for what she needs all of her life. Where is the struggle in that? This book is nothing more than the ramblings of a self absorbed, immature extrovert who is kidding herself that she has been humbled by the "art" of asking. Do yourself a favor and skip it.

Wow! This was tough to read.

This book should be a companion piece for Social Pathology: A Systematic Approach To The Theory Of Sociopathic Behavior

Amanda tries to conceal her grandiose, self congratulatory remarks by wrapping them in faux, negative, self deprecating comments.

Sorry, I have taught 12-15 year olds. It did not work when they tried it on me, and it doesn't work when you write using the same thin trick.

I had heard about her Kickstarter and messing over her bandmates by not paying them.

Then, I read this.

Given this book, I am not surprised about her subsequent behavior. Amanda likely thought that they simply didn't deserve the money as much as she did.

I abandoned this. Amanda seems not to have really needed to learn how to ask. She seems that she was born with a different sense of entitlement than we are used to seeing, but it was one I could neither relate to or learn from. I came to the book really wanting to unlrearn a bit of my fierce independence, but this was more an autobio than a how to.

There are some gems hidden in this behind the music tell all book, but you have to wade through a sort of TJMaxx of stories to get to them. I listened to the book on CD and she has a very soothing enjoyable voice. I imagine if I had read it instead, I would have given in a much lower review because it does go all over the place. She also mixed in some of her music which I mostly enjoyed--I even purchased a couple songs, yikes!

the visceral/disgusting:
- the internal stories of being the "8ft bride" were interesting, raw
- i don't get the point of an open marriage...why bother with the title? later she says "if you love someone, you'll give them everything"...i almost laughed at this contradiction
- you shouldn't have to get naked in public for attention. the human body is beautiful, I hate to see it objectified
- real connection does not happen on twitter

the beautiful:
- accepting help from others is actually a gift to them, but you have to give the option for them to say "no" otherwise it is just begging. people want to help, it makes them feel good.
- it inspires people to do what they were called or meant to do...I feel like there is a lot of pressure to "get a job" that pays well, get married, buy a house, have kids...etc. when maybe that isn't the path for everyone. the arts are very complicated because there is a giant risk that you won't be able to support yourself, so we tell our kids "get a real job" when art IS a job.
- everyone is an artist, not everyone's art can be hung in a gallery. amen.
- everyone has what she calls the "fraud police" telling them that they aren't supposed to be there and they're going to get caught. this voice is very damaging and should be resisted always.

overall, i thought her TED talk captured most of this in way less time and i'm sure if your a fan of her on twitter, you probably knew all of this anyway :-) if you do plan on reading it, i recommend the audio version as it is more conversational and you won't get as impatient with the writing style.

Amanda Palmer isn’t a marketing guru. She just loves people, and they love her back. That’s the heart of her book’s message. This is not a bulleted outline of networking strategies. This is one artist’s life laid bare as an example of the risks and rewards that come with the vulnerable act of asking.

What Amanda is: an artist who casts her art out into the world like a net to gather real and lasting human connections. She’s the perfect example of the ten-year overnight success. A lot of people who hadn’t heard of Amanda prior to her TED talk wondered, How was this indie musician able to raise a million dollars on Kickstarter? Answer: Amanda started building relationships one fan at a time, long before crowdfunding exploded online via Kickstarter and other such organized outlets. “Throughout my career,” she says, “the fanbase has been like one big significant other to me, a thousand-headed friend with whom I have a real, committed partnership.” This partnership is built on mutual trust, and Amanda approaches asking for help in the same way, often from none other than her fans. As she puts it: “I’m often asked: How can you trust people so much? Because that’s the only way it works.”

“Asking for help requires authenticity, and vulnerability,” Amanda says, and "The Art of Asking" is her testimony to the world that she practices what she preaches. I got to meet her when she stopped in Austin for a book signing, and as I watched Amanda engaging the crowd with her ukulele songs and later taking the time to give every person in line a hug (including me!) after signing their book, it felt just like—in Amanda’s words—“a reunion with those I haven’t met yet.”

Even though I’m a new fan (I discovered Amanda via her husband, Neil Gaiman, who is my favorite author), I get what draws so many admirers to her: Amanda sees people. She cares. And there are no ivory towers in her world—art is for everyone to make and share alike. “There's no ‘correct path’ to becoming a real artist,” she says. “…You're an artist when you say you are. And you're a good artist when you make somebody else experience or feel something deep for unexpected.” Fans also love Amanda because she openly shares her vulnerability. As a writer and artist who’s just starting out, I take great comfort in learning that even Amanda struggles with what she terms “the Fraud Police”—the voices in your head that scream lies at you like, You’re a wannabe! A phony! A faker! You’re not talented enough, smart enough, attractive enough, [fill in the blank] enough, to be a true artist! Get a real job like everyone else!

Amanda’s best friend Anthony once said, “If you love people enough, they’ll give you everything.” Amanda loves people with everything she has, and that’s why she has such a huge following. She shares her life as well as her art, because to her they are indivisible. Reading this book is like staying up all night with a friend who tells you her secrets with complete trust. Thank you, Amanda, for sharing your heart with the world!

She lost me when she said she wouldn't accept her husband's money to help launch her projects. So she asks for handouts from other hard-working people. Unbelievably bratty. I know who her husband is, and how much money he must have paid off of his dozens of books and awards. The fact that she TELLS us that she won't accept money from her husband, out of some principle, but will take money from strangers diminishes the act of asking for people who GENUINELY need others to help them financially. I'm doing well financially, it just irks me when people of privilege act like they still need others to help them, when there are people who REALLY need financial help. Disgusting.

I got it in just a couple chapters. Yawned as the jittery, breathless self-psycho-babble drowned out any affection I started with. Disturbingly narcissistic- even as author fears this label. Come on, Amanda, you rant about letting go (I kept reading just in case you had a breakthrough...) yet you hold on to your huge selfness like a pit bull. #gottacontrolmyminions

One reason I have loved Amanda Palmer for all these years is that I feel like her personal philosophies are so in line with my own... and some of my own have come from things I picked up from her over the years of following her Twitter feed, things that resonated with me and made me believe that I too could go out on a limb, trust the universe, and ask for what I needed. This book was a great help in examining and dealing with the flip side -- all of the negativity you receive when you dare to do such a thing. Why are people so scared to ask for what they need? Maybe because of the high potential for backlash -- but where has that come from? What makes people respond so venomously? Does it come from others who are just too scared to ask for what they need in their own lives?

I listened to the audiobook (which I highly recommend) and found myself constantly nodding in agreement with what she was saying, and at times even sitting in my car for half an hour after I'd arrived home to continue listening. There were definitely stories that made me tear up, but there were ten times as many stories that made my heart nearly explode from the love, tenderness, and affection she expresses for so many, many people all over the world, and for that which those people reflect right back to her. In this book, I felt like I had a friend, supporter, and confidante... it's that good. Read it; you won't be sorry.

The title, "The Art of Asking", and the fact that the intro is written by Brene Brown (I'm a big fan of Brown), lead me to believe this book would focus on the topic of "asking" or somehow be similar to the tone of a Brown book. But it doesn't and it isn't. This should be classified as a memoir. This book is about Amanda's life, with a very faint thread of the topic of "asking" woven through it. Sometimes at the end of a chapter, the word will be dropped in. It's evident that this is a bit of an opus for her and I think the readers that are already familiar with Amanda and her band will enjoy this dive deep into her history and thoughts. But for the average reader with no prior knowledge of Amanda or the outsider/artist/music scene, it seems a bit overindulgent and goes into far greater detail about her life and the minuscule details of it than it needs to. For the most part, she is reminiscing about her wild and crazy musician/artist life and the struggles that she chose to endure.
Though I'm an artist myself, I found it hard to connect with her. I didn't feel like I walked away with any new thoughts or insights. I hate to put down books halfway through, but I abandoned this one.

I listened to this as an audiobook read by the author, and frankly, I couldn't finish it. I did not find her tales of angst about NOT asking her husband for money, or her turn as a living statue, or any of the rest of it, the least bit interesting. And being an audiobook, she threw in some of her music, too. That was unpleasant! I had not heard it before, and hope to never again. She could have said her main points much more succinctly instead of repeating herself so much.

I do not consider myself to be artistic in most senses of the word but have recently learned (at 32) that I love to read, I found this book at a great price and never having heard the name Amanda Palmer, thought that the title would be a metaphor for a larger philosophical concept. it was a easy read (2 days) but was really more of a biography than anything else. I've often wondered how street performers and artists 'payed the bills' as the smaller levels, so it was interesting to hear a first hand perspective. but while it was a good distraction. It ultimately felt like a guide for the meek, that can be summed up in saying here are some stories about me (along with a little music) and even thought you hear a little voice in your head saying "shut up, no one likes a charity case" it really is ok to ask. Then lots of seemingly naive personal experiences about the general beneficence of people as a whole. I would not recommend this book, but I am glad to have read it. I love that people like Amanda exist, but I for one have never actually taken anything away from the art they produce.

I'm not a person who seeks out books or movies that will insight a emotional response. I found myself interested in this author's writings after watching her TedTalk's and thought it might help me better relate to people. In fact, this title was placed in my 'bettering myself + career' to read booklist. On a whim I downloaded it from my local library because it was available and several other books i would have prefered to download were currently checked out. So well into my last semester as a graduate chemistry student, completely overloaded, and didn't expect this book to take up to much of my time or thoughts. Boy was I wrong!

I saw myself and my bestfriend in the ideals that we live and are embodied in couchsurfing networks we love being a part of. It was an amazingly honest guide/memoir of how someone navigates those waters. I'm not in touch with my emotional side, at all if i can possibly help it. I'm happy, or content, or working toward being happy & content. Once a year I allow myself to cry on my birthday weekend, and clean my little sister's memorial at the middle school she died in; otherwise I only want to put good out into the world. A smile or a hug at the right moment can change someone's day! I've always thought of myself as a courageous person willing to put myself out there, ask for anything, anytime, or anyone. Yet, I found myself reconsidering how I've never once wanted to share a moment of vulnerability with another because I want them to experience only the best side of me, and if I fail to do that then I feel as if I've failing them and my friendship. Perhaps by not being more able to cry, or reach out emotionally I'm not being honest to myself, or to them, and not allowing them to connect to me?

This book is now my top ten books of all time. I also would recommend the audiobook version, where the author shares by reading her written words and the songs mentioned finishing some chapters are integral to the experience. Even if I am still not a fan of the songs, I couldn't imagine what i would have missed out by reading the book without it.

I was not prepared for what I got in this book. I knew it was a memoir, but it really does focus on asking and all ways we ask people for things and all the things we don't ask for until it hurts too much. It's a beautiful book and made me realize that I really need to work on asking more.
I absolutely loved this book. I'll be honest, I hadn't actually heard of Amanda Palmer before seeing this book. I'm not as big into music as I am books and I've rarely gone to Kickstarter, so it's not much of a surprise either. I listened to her TED talk (and I do love TED!), which covers many of the same bases as her book. I'd consider it a really condensed version.

The art of asking is really rather genius, though it's not exactly foreign to my life. There's a connection between what Palmer refers to as the art of asking and my husband's work in the church. Churches don't make people pay for their services, they ask. But churches are dying off and Kickstarters are getting more money every day. They seem to have lost the art to it. I have recommended the book to him and I hope he reads/listens to it.

I listened to it, which was definitely the way to go. Palmer narrates the book and she even sings a song between chapters occasionally. For me, it did just as promised in the blurb. It made me rethink some things, specifically what it means to ask instead of demand and to share the process of creating art with those around us.

I hate Twitter but I understand her love of it. I've never been good at starting conversations with people in front of me. I've never been good at being seen or letting others know that I see them. With these in mind, the book has created a degree of fear that I will never get to where I want to be. But then it always comes back in a haunting sort of way. I can get there, but I have to grow first and I have to do the things that need to be done.

Plus, I want connection when I get there, not adoration or whatever. It made me pay a bit more attention to the Twitter feeds of the artists I do admire. It makes me want to connect with them on some small level. I'm working up to it. I followed a few more since reading this, mostly comic creators that I love. Reaching out for connection is a little terrifying. But I think about standing on that box, trying to give someone a flower. I want to try something like that one day.

I loved that the book began with a introduction by Brene Brown. Some of you may recall my love for her and her work. Their messages share that connection can only happen after the risk of vulnerability. It only happens when we've reached out to someone who can reject us, but doesn't. If they are forced, it's not connection.

There were plenty of adorable anecdotes, but the meat of the book rests on just what the title implies. There is an art to asking. The book also dives pretty deeply into the art that can be present in giving. Some give, and some do so artfully. There is a difference. My mother has been one of those who give artfully. She has a way of not making the recipient feel shame, which is also important to connection. Palmer sums it up in "take the donut" or "take the flower". I love food, so I prefer "take the donut". I will also have to work on taking to donut in the future. I tend to be the bashful sort that prefers people keep their donut but totally appreciates the offer.

Has anyone else read this book? Did it make you take another look at asking, giving, receiving, connection, vulnerability.....?

"I knew what I needed but asking for specific emotional things felt impossible and obnoxious."

This is a raw look at the life of Amanda Palmer and what it means to be vulnerable and to be an artist.

I really enjoyed hearing her open up about busking in Cambridge and the intimacy between strangers as well as what it means to be an artist and trust your fans. It was also refreshing to hear about how she dealt with her pain and how she shared so much with her fans to deal with her own trauma.

I also liked that the audiobook included songs and excerpts from her work. While it did seem to go on a bit about how hard art is which got tiresome since I would consider Amanda successful...it's really an interesting look at how Amanda got to be where she is and how even she doubts herself.

She also talks about the use of crowdsourcing to fund art and how she has learned to try to trust her fans as well as her husband.

It's a story about intimacy and navigating life while trying to make art. For fans of Amanda it's an interesting read.

True to her reputation, Amanda is very open with her audience. I love the closeness of this book. Even though I haven't met Amanda [although I do have some connections with her], I feel as though she is a friend. Much more so than with most authors I read.

I grew up around artists, and have dabbled in the arts myself. In some ways, my professional path is divergent enough to have some strong parallels with art. This made Amanda's story as an artist riveting for me. This book was a real page-turner.

I would say that the book isn't really about the art of asking. It's more just a series of reflections on asking–times when it's worked well; times when it hasn't. I'm not sure that the book has contributed to my asking ability, but I still really appreciate Amanda's story.

Her basic take on asking is that it involves an element of risk. If you can't take no for an answer, you're not asking. Asking both requires equality [so that two parties can come together in a collaboration], and inequality [so that one party has something to offer to the other].

From the New Economics standpoint, this book is pretty rudimentary. Although Amanda touches on the idea of gift a number of times in her text, she more often discusses exchange. She would de well to spend some time with the likes of David Graeber and Charles Eisenstein. I'm grateful that she spends time discussing all of the challenges we have in this country surrounding communication and comfort when it comes to money.

(get the audiobook!)
As a person who has a hard time asking for things, I was delighted when i found out about the book.
The AUDIObook inspired me not just to ask, but first to give and connect and serve and help.
I was touched to tears, thrilled, excited, on the edge of my seat, couldn't stop listening.

The audiobook is like a 11 hours theater performance or radio skit.
Not only the spoken words of the book, but also songs by her and others.

I don't even listen to this kind of music.
Amanda palmer made me listen to her rock and folk and cabaret.
And i loved it.
She bares her skin, thoughts, heart and soul.

As a holistic business coach to musicians and artists, i'll be recommending it to all my clients.

Thank you Amanda.

(get the audiobook!)

This book is amazing. I listened to the audio book and I'm glad I did because I doubt it would have captured things the same way. I think it is a very needed response from the sheer vigilante mob style justice that very often occurs on the internet from people who don't know what they're doing, don't bother to investigate the nuances of a situation and pile on in a way to make things even worse.

Moreover, the thing she is advocating, a way to let artists be artists, is a necessary paradigm shift for our society especially as we approach a post scarcity economy or "singularity" as tech folks like to say it. What do you DO when the robots handle most everything? The sacred subjective, the personal experience of the artist is how we could, among other things, spend our days, but true art and true creativity works at its best when folks come together and collaborate. Artists should be paid, and those repeated gifs and things you see spreading around the internet are true but SO IS THIS BOOK.

I have seen the results of collaboration once money is not considered the only thing in an equation; I have seen and struggled with creatives, trying to help them raise funds when they simply did not UNDERSTAND how money works and how much benefit it would make happen in society. The most important thing about this book is that we simply need to accept help when it is given. There is NOTHING WRONG with "Taking the Doughnuts." Sometimes our pride, or elements of puritan culture are disgusting and the way we treat artists is one of them.

If you are at all involved with creative endeavors, I cannot recommend this book enough.

It's no secret Amanda Palmer can be a divisive figure. Most interesting people are. But, I think the thing that really shines through about Palmer is that she's genuine. Whether you like or dislike her, her work and/or her opinions I think by the end of this book it would be hard to argue that she isn't honest. I think there's a tendency to distrust "artsy" people on some level. The face makeup, the bohemian lifestyle, the way they dress... it can be easy to stand on the outside and wonder if it's not all just a lot of smoke and mirrors and artifice. If someone can create a good, dramatic moment on the page and really sell it in an audiobook, maybe they're just a really good liar? Or a really good actor? Even the cover of the book is likely to split people on whether she looks sincere and open or whether it looks staged and pretentious. This, of course, seems to illustrate more about the viewer than the subject, I think. And, I also think that people will come to realize—whether they like it or not—Amanda Palmer is who she presents herself as. It might not be everything of who she is, but what she shows us is real.

This is interesting to me, because the book talks a lot about being seen, the desire to be seen, and the difference between wanting to be seen and wanting to be the center of attention. And, the author fully owns the latter as something she wants, while making it very clear that the former is what she (and, perhaps, everyone) needs. She's built a career on genuine connections with people, and it's her success that has made her the target of those eyes standing on the outside, not really understanding the world of connections she's built with her fans. The very thing that is her greatest strength also made her an easy target for ill-informed criticism which is, let's face it, the majority of the criticism that lives in the dark alleys of internet comment threads.

I say this all as someone who has been on both sides of the fence. I was a huge fan of Who Killed Amanda Palmer, but I'll admit I did wonder about the Kickstarter. I grappled with that and the concept of using "free musicians" for a bit. Until, of course, I dug a little deeper and realized how misconstrued and warped some of the coverage was. But, to be honest, I didn't realize how warped the general public perception was until reading this book. The greater context of those events (and the latter poem about the Boston bomber suspect) really highlights the absolute and real danger that results from disconnection and the sort of insta-judgement the internet, in particular, excels in. And, even beyond that, Palmer makes a incredibly strong case even on those points that weren't misconstrued about the (odd) way artists and their worth are perceived.

Palmer does a wonderful job of structuring the book. She threads the strands of her story (the TED Talk, the Kickstarter, her marriage to Neil Gaiman, her relationship with mentor Anthony, her career and her personal life) expertly. This helps us to connect the dots for ourselves, as the book bounces around her personal timeline. There's a great deal of humor and heart in the book. She gives us access to her mind and her life in a way that feels intimate, but never uncomfortably so. She creates a very safe, personal space and writes with such a warm style that it's easy to understand why she's amassed such a committed following. Her humanity shines through in a way that obliterates any doubt about her authenticity. This is incredibly important because there may be some times that, if a reader doesn't live the lifestyle of an artist, let's say, some of the details could be potentially alienating or off-putting. But Palmer's humanity pulls the reader through any such moments. So much of the book, especially the central concept of the "Art of Asking" seems powerfully universal even if the details of how a person struggles with that are miles away from her own.

Honestly, as a creative person who works in a day job that is, perhaps, not always that fulfilling, I found the book incredibly inspirational. Hell, even as someone who just had a Kickstarter fail on them, it was incredibly comforting. And as a human being who has grappled with connecting with others, who has tried to see and tried to be seen... I found it both moving and powerful.

Not like the other books. Not glib or opaque or false. Not filled with, "I did this and you can too if you just act like me."

No, this is a generous, honest memoir, with no punches pulled. It's real, it's human, it's flawed. It will open doors for countless people.

Amanda creates a reality wherever she goes, and she does it with heart and soul and life. I think it will take you a long time to forget this book.

If you love Palmer, you'll love this book. If you've never heard of her, I'm pretty sure you'll love this book. If you hate her, I hope this book changes your mind. It did mine. I'm sorry to say I was a bit influenced by all the haters. I didn't quite get her, and now I think I do. She's open and she's different than most women and she's an artist. She's worked hard to be that, and she's done it by being open to her fans. It's something I would totally struggle to do.

If anything, this book made me think about the state of my life and how I've gotten to a point where I have trouble trusting people. I mean, there are people in my life I trust completely, but outside of my very small circle of friends and family, I don't trust anyone. So I appreciate that this book got me thinking about that aspect of my life. At the very least, I'm trying to stop yelling out "I don't have anything!" as a knee-jerk reaction when people approach me on the street. I mean, probably half of these people only want directions. So I guess I could start with that.

I enjoyed AFP's early music, so knew going in that she was a supremely narcissistic woman...probably from her obsessive need to post nude photos of herself ad nauseum...but I picked this book up anyway from the library, hoping that perhaps motherhood had changed her for the better...I mean, she and Neil Gaiman have a son together & what mom wants her son looking at her naked!? Right? Wrong. I slowly lost respect for her as a woman...

The book is, to me, a gratuitous attempt to become some sort of wacko self-help writer (first, you strip naked for attention...). And why would a successful person have to ask hard-working, average people for money!? Oh, right, so the public can 'finance' her 'art' and she won't have to spend her own money. Smart.

To the reviewer who dared to compare Palmer to writer Natalie Goldberg, all I can say is REALLY?!?!? Palmer is a fund-raising, semi-successful singer married to a 3rd generation Scientologist/Writer, Neil Gaiman. Natalie Goldberg ("Wild Mind" & "Writing Down the Bones" are THE definitive books on writing advice) is a living Buddha, a writer/person to be emulated. Like I said, "No comparison!)

Bottom line: nothing new here in this book...move on to "Bird by Bird" by Anne Lamont. You'll at least get some laughs from her quirky humor. Save your money and your time and skip this book.

Amanda Palmer is a rock star. Amanda Palmer is beautiful and true. Amanda Palmer is fragile and amazing and loving and generous and energetic and powerful and brilliant and direct and awesome awesome awesome. In the Art of Asking, she combines the genesis of her history-making independence along with a heartwarming and heartbreaking memoir.

I really loved this book, and Palmer’s voice is absolutely wonderful in the book and in real life. What is most beautiful is that the woman has truly captured herself on the page, along with her fears, successes, struggles, and trust in the past decade. With the interactions I have had with her over the years, I have been able to accept and enjoy her new passion, enthusiasm, and energy, and in The Art of Asking she has taken a bold move in exploring how she became who she is, where she has been, where she is going, and how she processes the world and her place in it.

And, my god, blessed Anthony Martignetti. We could all be so lucky to have one relationship in our lives like theirs.

What I loved most about this book is that I really saw the Amanda that I have come to know in these words - the one that truly reflects who I am as a person, a lover, an artist, and a human. This Amanda has an unflinching bravery against the phony police, and sees the value of her audience, friends, and family in exploring how to truly get what we need in this life. One can be stranded with a sprained ankle and ignored by bystanders, but there is no excuse to avoid asking lovers and friends for things we need. For some of us, it is comforting to learn we aren’t the only ones who have difficulty with this. This is a book about her approach to the music industry as much as it is about her approach to the most intimate of relationships.

Ask.

Now, Amanda is a rambler. She can make sporadic and fast connections within a sentence, and it can at times be endearing and at times be annoying. But it is her, and you can accept it or ignore it. Her transparency is inspiring, and as she puts herself out to her friends and her audience (literally, a hundred percent of her wrapped in cellophane), and it is easy to fall in love and lose yourself in confusion in a short burst of words.

My only complaint about this book - my only complaint - has to do with the processing of who she is with her words. As a writer and publisher, and knowing her, I know that this must have been an absolute beast to edit into what it is. At the same rate, while I loved the book, I thought that the editing choices were a bit weird. I am not talking about the revision process in particular (which I believe is referred to as ‘editing’ in the afterwords, and of course it is all semantics), but the overall decisions of what goes where and what needs to be included and what can be cut (and perhaps what wasn’t included) was a little bit strange to me. Knowing Palmer, though, I am certain the road to what it is now was just as striking. To be a fly on the wall at Hatchette as this was gestating would have been very interesting.

Two other things...I also took a minute to check the copyright page - and the iron-clad copyright statement placed by the publisher was interesting. I wonder what her thoughts are on that (I will ask her). Finally, to see her go through the true ending - the one that happened a few weeks ago and really hits the acceptance and optimism and analysis at the end - has been heartbreaking.

So, my review is that this book is excellent. The execution and organization is a little bit all over the place at times, however Palmer is not a capital-w-writer, and I am sure what I am reading was very much a collaborative effort among a lot of people to make it what it has become. She says a lot of great things in this book about living, business, compassion, family, fans, and music, and I am happy that I read it. I might have given it a little less of a rating if it were anyone else, but AFP, you enthusiastically get my five stars because this book was beautiful, and you’re AFP.

This book has resonated with me on so many different levels I'm not even sure if I'm aware of them all. Maybe it's because we're the same age or we both love Neil Gaiman (on admittedly different planes), or because at my core I consider myself a self-doubting artist/photographer. I relate to the problem with asking for help that Amanda Palmer has dealt with. We all have at some level. For me, I feel in my bones and my veins and my breath that I need to pursue photography. I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm looking for when I put my eye to the lens. Despite this,it's impossible for me to ask for work. I need to put myself and my work out there. This may well give me the courage to try. When something resonates with you (as this book did with me) it's a plucked string left to vibrate. You can either just let it go until it eventually dies, or you let it be the first note of a masterpiece. I need to take more photos. Thank you Amanda.

Coda

I wrote the above portion when I was about 3/4 of the way through this book. They were immediate impressions and I wanted to get them down. I really think they sum up pretty well a lot of the feelings I have for this book but now that I'm done, I feel I should note just a few more things. While the theory in this book is almost anti-self-help, the practice of it is very much the opposite. By learning to ask others for help, you very much help yourself by opening yourself up to trust and love. It feels like a profound lesson when you read it and let it sink in but it's a little sad that we need to teach ourselves these things at all. We need to be kinder to ourselves. It's also a meaningful lesson in acknowledging that the "crowd" is always made up of individual living, breathing, human beings. Whether the crowd is a kickstarter group, the twitter masses, or the residents of Ferguson, MO. It's so easy in this day to forget that and convey hurtful messages to the crowd, forgetting that individual human beings will read those words.

So....if you have trouble asking for help or taking it when it is freely offered, read this book. If you are feeling a disconnect from the rest of the world, read this book. If you have trust issues, read this book. If you are a human being, read this book.

It's no secret Amanda Palmer can be a divisive figure. Most interesting people are. But, I think the thing that really shines through about Palmer is that she's genuine. Whether you like or dislike her, her work and/or her opinions I think by the end of this book it would be hard to argue that she isn't honest. I think there's a tendency to distrust "artsy" people on some level. The face makeup, the bohemian lifestyle, the way they dress... it can be easy to stand on the outside and wonder if it's not all just a lot of smoke and mirrors and artifice. If someone can create a good, dramatic moment on the page and really sell it in an audiobook, maybe they're just a really good liar? Or a really good actor? Even the cover of the book is likely to split people on whether she looks sincere and open or whether it looks staged and pretentious. This, of course, seems to illustrate more about the viewer than the subject, I think. And, I also think that people will come to realize—whether they like it or not—Amanda Palmer is who she presents herself as. It might not be everything of who she is, but what she shows us is real.

This is interesting to me, because the book talks a lot about being seen, the desire to be seen, and the difference between wanting to be seen and wanting to be the center of attention. And, the author fully owns the latter as something she wants, while making it very clear that the former is what she (and, perhaps, everyone) needs. She's built a career on genuine connections with people, and it's her success that has made her the target of those eyes standing on the outside, not really understanding the world of connections she's built with her fans. The very thing that is her greatest strength also made her an easy target for ill-informed criticism which is, let's face it, the majority of the criticism that lives in the dark alleys of internet comment threads.

I say this all as someone who has been on both sides of the fence. I was a huge fan of Who Killed Amanda Palmer, but I'll admit I did wonder about the Kickstarter. I grappled with that and the concept of using "free musicians" for a bit. Until, of course, I dug a little deeper and realized how misconstrued and warped some of the coverage was. But, to be honest, I didn't realize how warped the general public perception was until reading this book. The greater context of those events (and the latter poem about the Boston bomber suspect) really highlights the absolute and real danger that results from disconnection and the sort of insta-judgement the internet, in particular, excels in. And, even beyond that, Palmer makes a incredibly strong case even on those points that weren't misconstrued about the (odd) way artists and their worth are perceived.

Palmer does a wonderful job of structuring the book. She threads the strands of her story (the TED Talk, the Kickstarter, her marriage to Neil Gaiman, her relationship with mentor Anthony, her career and her personal life) expertly. This helps us to connect the dots for ourselves, as the book bounces around her personal timeline. There's a great deal of humor and heart in the book. She gives us access to her mind and her life in a way that feels intimate, but never uncomfortably so. She creates a very safe, personal space and writes with such a warm style that it's easy to understand why she's amassed such a committed following. Her humanity shines through in a way that obliterates any doubt about her authenticity. This is incredibly important because there may be some times that, if a reader doesn't live the lifestyle of an artist, let's say, some of the details could be potentially alienating or off-putting. But Palmer's humanity pulls the reader through any such moments. So much of the book, especially the central concept of the "Art of Asking" seems powerfully universal even if the details of how a person struggles with that are miles away from her own.

Honestly, as a creative person who works in a day job that is, perhaps, not always that fulfilling, I found the book incredibly inspirational. Hell, even as someone who just had a Kickstarter fail on them, it was incredibly comforting. And as a human being who has grappled with connecting with others, who has tried to see and tried to be seen... I found it both moving and powerful.

Not like the other books. Not glib or opaque or false. Not filled with, "I did this and you can too if you just act like me."

No, this is a generous, honest memoir, with no punches pulled. It's real, it's human, it's flawed. It will open doors for countless people.

Amanda creates a reality wherever she goes, and she does it with heart and soul and life. I think it will take you a long time to forget this book.

If you love Palmer, you'll love this book. If you've never heard of her, I'm pretty sure you'll love this book. If you hate her, I hope this book changes your mind. It did mine. I'm sorry to say I was a bit influenced by all the haters. I didn't quite get her, and now I think I do. She's open and she's different than most women and she's an artist. She's worked hard to be that, and she's done it by being open to her fans. It's something I would totally struggle to do.

If anything, this book made me think about the state of my life and how I've gotten to a point where I have trouble trusting people. I mean, there are people in my life I trust completely, but outside of my very small circle of friends and family, I don't trust anyone. So I appreciate that this book got me thinking about that aspect of my life. At the very least, I'm trying to stop yelling out "I don't have anything!" as a knee-jerk reaction when people approach me on the street. I mean, probably half of these people only want directions. So I guess I could start with that.

I enjoyed AFP's early music, so knew going in that she was a supremely narcissistic woman...probably from her obsessive need to post nude photos of herself ad nauseum...but I picked this book up anyway from the library, hoping that perhaps motherhood had changed her for the better...I mean, she and Neil Gaiman have a son together & what mom wants her son looking at her naked!? Right? Wrong. I slowly lost respect for her as a woman...

The book is, to me, a gratuitous attempt to become some sort of wacko self-help writer (first, you strip naked for attention...). And why would a successful person have to ask hard-working, average people for money!? Oh, right, so the public can 'finance' her 'art' and she won't have to spend her own money. Smart.

To the reviewer who dared to compare Palmer to writer Natalie Goldberg, all I can say is REALLY?!?!? Palmer is a fund-raising, semi-successful singer married to a 3rd generation Scientologist/Writer, Neil Gaiman. Natalie Goldberg ("Wild Mind" & "Writing Down the Bones" are THE definitive books on writing advice) is a living Buddha, a writer/person to be emulated. Like I said, "No comparison!)

Bottom line: nothing new here in this book...move on to "Bird by Bird" by Anne Lamont. You'll at least get some laughs from her quirky humor. Save your money and your time and skip this book.

Amanda Palmer is a rock star. Amanda Palmer is beautiful and true. Amanda Palmer is fragile and amazing and loving and generous and energetic and powerful and brilliant and direct and awesome awesome awesome. In the Art of Asking, she combines the genesis of her history-making independence along with a heartwarming and heartbreaking memoir.

I really loved this book, and Palmer’s voice is absolutely wonderful in the book and in real life. What is most beautiful is that the woman has truly captured herself on the page, along with her fears, successes, struggles, and trust in the past decade. With the interactions I have had with her over the years, I have been able to accept and enjoy her new passion, enthusiasm, and energy, and in The Art of Asking she has taken a bold move in exploring how she became who she is, where she has been, where she is going, and how she processes the world and her place in it.

And, my god, blessed Anthony Martignetti. We could all be so lucky to have one relationship in our lives like theirs.

What I loved most about this book is that I really saw the Amanda that I have come to know in these words - the one that truly reflects who I am as a person, a lover, an artist, and a human. This Amanda has an unflinching bravery against the phony police, and sees the value of her audience, friends, and family in exploring how to truly get what we need in this life. One can be stranded with a sprained ankle and ignored by bystanders, but there is no excuse to avoid asking lovers and friends for things we need. For some of us, it is comforting to learn we aren’t the only ones who have difficulty with this. This is a book about her approach to the music industry as much as it is about her approach to the most intimate of relationships.

Ask.

Now, Amanda is a rambler. She can make sporadic and fast connections within a sentence, and it can at times be endearing and at times be annoying. But it is her, and you can accept it or ignore it. Her transparency is inspiring, and as she puts herself out to her friends and her audience (literally, a hundred percent of her wrapped in cellophane), and it is easy to fall in love and lose yourself in confusion in a short burst of words.

My only complaint about this book - my only complaint - has to do with the processing of who she is with her words. As a writer and publisher, and knowing her, I know that this must have been an absolute beast to edit into what it is. At the same rate, while I loved the book, I thought that the editing choices were a bit weird. I am not talking about the revision process in particular (which I believe is referred to as ‘editing’ in the afterwords, and of course it is all semantics), but the overall decisions of what goes where and what needs to be included and what can be cut (and perhaps what wasn’t included) was a little bit strange to me. Knowing Palmer, though, I am certain the road to what it is now was just as striking. To be a fly on the wall at Hatchette as this was gestating would have been very interesting.

Two other things...I also took a minute to check the copyright page - and the iron-clad copyright statement placed by the publisher was interesting. I wonder what her thoughts are on that (I will ask her). Finally, to see her go through the true ending - the one that happened a few weeks ago and really hits the acceptance and optimism and analysis at the end - has been heartbreaking.

So, my review is that this book is excellent. The execution and organization is a little bit all over the place at times, however Palmer is not a capital-w-writer, and I am sure what I am reading was very much a collaborative effort among a lot of people to make it what it has become. She says a lot of great things in this book about living, business, compassion, family, fans, and music, and I am happy that I read it. I might have given it a little less of a rating if it were anyone else, but AFP, you enthusiastically get my five stars because this book was beautiful, and you’re AFP.

This book has resonated with me on so many different levels I'm not even sure if I'm aware of them all. Maybe it's because we're the same age or we both love Neil Gaiman (on admittedly different planes), or because at my core I consider myself a self-doubting artist/photographer. I relate to the problem with asking for help that Amanda Palmer has dealt with. We all have at some level. For me, I feel in my bones and my veins and my breath that I need to pursue photography. I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm looking for when I put my eye to the lens. Despite this,it's impossible for me to ask for work. I need to put myself and my work out there. This may well give me the courage to try. When something resonates with you (as this book did with me) it's a plucked string left to vibrate. You can either just let it go until it eventually dies, or you let it be the first note of a masterpiece. I need to take more photos. Thank you Amanda.

Coda

I wrote the above portion when I was about 3/4 of the way through this book. They were immediate impressions and I wanted to get them down. I really think they sum up pretty well a lot of the feelings I have for this book but now that I'm done, I feel I should note just a few more things. While the theory in this book is almost anti-self-help, the practice of it is very much the opposite. By learning to ask others for help, you very much help yourself by opening yourself up to trust and love. It feels like a profound lesson when you read it and let it sink in but it's a little sad that we need to teach ourselves these things at all. We need to be kinder to ourselves. It's also a meaningful lesson in acknowledging that the "crowd" is always made up of individual living, breathing, human beings. Whether the crowd is a kickstarter group, the twitter masses, or the residents of Ferguson, MO. It's so easy in this day to forget that and convey hurtful messages to the crowd, forgetting that individual human beings will read those words.

So....if you have trouble asking for help or taking it when it is freely offered, read this book. If you are feeling a disconnect from the rest of the world, read this book. If you have trust issues, read this book. If you are a human being, read this book.

I'm not a fan of Amanda's music. In fact, before her TED talk I hadn't heard of her. But I saw some reviews of this book, and thought I'd give the audio a try. So Amanda has been riding along on all my drives for the past ten days. Truthfully, she was there as I watered my garden and took off my makeup at night too. The book is that good.

I joined Twitter back before it became about selling products and services. It was about connection, and that's exactly how Amanda used it then and still uses it now. I feel a renewed longing for the old social media - without sales pitches.

Amanda also talks about the blender. When you produce art, write music or poetry does it go into your "blender" first? Or does it get served in big, raw, unfiltered chunks? How edited or blended is what you share with the world? She doesn't blend all of this book, so I felt like she shared and over shared most of her life. I commend her courage in that. It's not easy and it's not pretty, but it made for a great listen. Thanks Amanda!

Amanda Palmer is a polarizing public figure and, much like Howard Stern in his heyday, people either love her or love to hate her. I've seen reviews that attacked her (ignoring the book), went into diatribes about what the book should have been (instead of reviewing what was written), and all manner of weird criticism. I don't get why people have reacted so strangely to this memoir.

Her book is about people connecting with one another, being open to that connection, and not being afraid to ask for that connection. Her story is one of hard work and determination. The path she took was not easy or conventional. When she tried to go the mainstream route, thinking it would give her legitimacy, it clashed with her natural desire to see people as humans and not sources of revenue. For her, art is a shared experience and not a commodity.

I applaud the raw manner in which she tells her tale letting her failures stand beside her triumphs all while giving you a peek into her interior monologue during those moments. I didn't find an ounce of spin in this book. This is her story told in the only way she knows how, authentically and completely.

If you're an artist of any sort you'll immediately identify with her struggles. The writing style may be casual, but within the winding narrative are moments of brilliant self awareness and brutal honesty.

Amanda Palmer’s special brand of art-making has been threaded into my cultural landscape for years now. While I’ve never been a raging fan of her music, both solo and in her band The Dresden Dolls, I’ve nonetheless appreciated her attitude, and there’s something to be said for her music; it’s memorable and snarky, and you won’t forget it quickly (or look at the map of Tasmania in quite the same way again).

This formidable artist is the antithesis of the ephemeral, cosmetically enhanced pop divas whose sameness relegate them, ultimately, to a homogenous anonymity.

Amanda Palmer, singer, songwriter and self-described activist, and wife to author Neil Gaiman, is not afraid to express exactly what’s on her mind. If some find her loud and off-putting, it’s too bad, so far as she’s concerned. She has no qualms about over-sharing which, in its own way, is refreshing. She connects with people in a way many celebrity musicians don’t.

Perhaps this very fact is why The Art of Asking is so engaging – Amanda breaks down many of our traditionally held norms and calls into question our natural reticence that prevents us from reaching out to others. This is especially pertinent in situations where we do need to ask for help, but don’t.

Amanda isn’t shy. That is one of the first things we learn about her. Yet that outward mask of bravado also hides a fragile, somewhat brittle interior, and Amanda is frank when she speaks of concepts such as “The Fraud Police” that crop up during moments of crippling self-doubt.

While some have criticised her methods, stating that she’s attention-seeking, that she’s constantly asking for favours and exploiting other artists – and this is despite her recent Kickstarter success – I have to give her this much: she’s honest about her wart-and-all methods. She’s not afraid to admit when she’s made an error in judgement.

What’s also immediately clear is that Amanda refuses to be pinned down by traditional methods of making and transmitting art, and she’s willing to experiment. She discusses also how the music industry is limited by traditional methods, and how musicians (and other artists) can break out and empower themselves. By asking.

Granted, Amanda’s results have been unpredictable (both good and not so good) but there’s no denying that she’s a maverick in the industry (which is bound to result in some folks getting their knickers in a twist).

What we have in The Art of Asking is a unapologetic, in-your-face and highly personal account of how one artist refused to be defined by traditions, and how, despite moments of self-doubt, she carved out a niche for herself. This serves as an inspiration to any of us who ever dreamed of following our passions instead of settling for what is safe and predictable. If you’re looking for a book that will inspire you to break out and connect with others, and find ways to turn your limitations into advantages, then The Art of Asking may resonate strongly with you.

Amanda’s intense bond with her fans highlights just how vital this connection is, and many of us would do well to realise that this sort of relationship works both ways.

Amanda Palmer is a problematic fave.*

I actually have a lot of problematic faves. I'd like to thank Tumblr from the bottom of my heart for pointing out how so many people who have done things for my mind, heart, and soul are really really really bad people.

That is not to say that I don't acknowledge the things that make my faves problematic. Joss Whedon, not so great at diversity. John Green, Manic Pixie Dream Something. Amanda Palmer...well, the first thing to come to mind is that a beautiful, glorious friend of mine was very upset with her after Evelyn and Evelyn came out. And I would never ever ever take that away from my friend who is 800% smarter than I am, and cares about things my brain can't even begin to process.

But...I like Amanda Palmer. I do, I can't help it. I wouldn't know anything about her if it weren't for her husband. I've been a fan of Neil Gaiman for fewer years than most, only about seven years. But he is a fave of mine. I have even seen him be considered a problematic fave, which...::flails hands::

I like her music. I like that she's an unapologetic feminist. I like her taste in husbands. I like that her song "Do it With a Rockstar" reminds me of something, and "Grown Man Cry" reminds me of someone. I like that she's super fan friendly (something I value a great deal in this internet age), and I like her husband.

Did I mention I like her husband? Because as horrible as it probably is to admit, I don't think I would know who Amanda Palmer is if it weren't for her being associated with Neil Gaiman. I am grateful for that association, but the point still stands. And because I am a bigger fan of Neil's than I am of Amanda's, I can go into this book with open eyes, because a) problematic fave, b) not the number one fan. Number 700,000, absolutely.

This book is...not problematic. Not for me, at least. I skimmed over the reviews before reading it, looking for, essentially, the problematic fave bombs. She's selfish/narcissistic/pretentious/etc/etc/etc. And there were a few reviews that I tucked away in my brain, as I do with bad reviews. "This is what people don't like. What do I think?"

I didn't have the same problem.

I love this book.

This book is 2/3 self help, which I am normally not a fan of. The rest is a memoir, and I love memoirs.

I loved 100% of this book. I did. The self help parts made me cry. Because I don't ask for help. I don't take the flower, or the donut. I am embarrassed, and cry just thinking about needing to ask for help. So those parts of the book quite naturally made me bawl. I don't even know what to say about that. I don't think I will ever feel safe taking the donut.

If you're reading this review before reading the book, just hold on to the donut and flower metaphor. You'll enjoy the metaphor later.

Not that it needs to be said, but I loved reading about her life with Neil. He's very private, so this was a fun little peek into their life together. The banana/tomato/schedule thing is so something I would do with a British husband, and I was delighted by it. I wanted to quote the entire scene for the quotes section of this book, but I refrained.

I also wanted to quote her silently screaming at the guy to come back and take the flower, but that's just because I snorted with laughter at that.

The information about the Kickstarter and the backlash was extremely interesting to read. I wasn't really paying attention when all of that happened in real time, but I vaguely remember that she raised an assload of money on Kickstarter. And I have an autographed copy of Theatre is Evil, gifted by my beautiful friend after my autographed copy of "Who Killed Amanda Palmer" died during Hurricane Isaac. I am glad that disc got made, for many reasons. Not least of which is the two songs mentioned above that make me think of things and people.

She talks about the kerfluffles with honesty, and I enjoyed that a great deal. I don't come away from this book ready to go attack all of her attackers, and scream that they just don't understand. But if the time comes where I am expressing my enjoyment of her as an artist, or as a person, and someone pulls the problematic card, I will simply say I read her book, and feel comfortable being her fan, and let them know their local library probably has it, if they want to give it a shot. Because I feel she's a genuine person.

Seriously, this book is really enjoyable. I think even if you've never heard of her before, never heard her music, it's still a worthwhile read. If the parts about having the strength to take the flower don't do you in, her relationship with Anthony just might.

*If you have never had the phrase "your fave is problematic" dance before your eyes, just consider yourself lucky. Don't go looking for information, it will hurt you.

I'm done. I think I'm going through a bit of a mourning period not having this book at my side. I read the audio. READ THE AUDIO! OH MY GOSH! I usually read audio books on a faster speed. This one... I felt the need to take it in. I didn't want it to end.

A love story! An Amanda and Neil love. Lovely!

OK, I totally GET this is an audio book... a one way kind of experience but I kept talking to the book. "YES! YES!. It was like spending a weekend with a friend and getting to know them to a deeper level and having them REALLY get to know you. Both seeing and being seen.

So many reasons to read... to think about what art, asking, receiving, loving and being loved is. About courage, finding yourself, finding and being your authentic self.

Thanks for the thought provoking honestly and depth.

I have been SO fortunate to stumble upon books lately that are personally meaningful. This is at the top of the list

Thank You Amanda!

I stumbled across Amanda Palmer's book while looking for something else at the library. I read the blurb and thought it was interesting and worth a try. I'd never heard of her at first and then realized she was a musician with the Dresden Dolls (of whom I've vaguely heard of) and the the wife of Neil Gaiman one of my favorite authors. I'm not a fan of her music, not that I don't think she has talent, it's just not to my taste. Her writing however is absolutely amazing. Her insight on life, art, being your true authentic self, giving unconditional love and how to ask for and receive what you need from the world is nothing less than amazing. She is one of those rare people who are very wise, well beyond her years. She has an interesting, altruistic and enthusiastic approach to people that most of us can only aspire to. If you want to learn a little more about how to get what you want out of life, how to think out of the box, and what it truly means to have unconditional love for others, this book is for you. I listened to the audio version, which I think is even more amazing because Amanda herself narrates it.

I had been wanting to read Amanda Palmer's book, The Art of Asking, for awhile, but I couldn't afford it, so when I found out about a deal that allowed me to pick any audiobook for free, I chose it as my freebie. There were so many other books on my wishlist, but Amanda Palmer narrates the book herself, and there's the "extra" of a few music tracks. So, I figured, if there's one book I'd likely enjoy as an audiobook, it would be this one. I'm so glad I chose it, instead of something else. This book is beyond amazing!

The entire book felt like a never-boring conversation between life-long friends. I listened to it while commuting to and from school (an hour each way), but also at every point in my day when I had a couple minutes to spare. That meant a book that, clocking in at 11 hours and 30 minutes, should have taken me 6 days to finish, only took 4 days instead. However, If I had been reading the hardcover, instead of listening, I think it would have taken much longer. There are just so many quotes that I would have had to stop and think about and then highlight and write notes in the margins, if not longer "notes" in my journal. There would have been moments when I would need to stop reading so I could let out all the feels this book brought on, and I would have stopped too many times to count in order to dog ear pages. I frequently thought that someone needs to come up with an app to "bookmark" passages in audiobooks, and there were several times when I came close to having to pull over so I could let the tears flow safely. I don't know how I managed to hold myself together long enough to get to school or home.

I loved The Art of Asking so much that I bought a physical copy. The boyfriend later made it a gift, when I told him that this book was the best non-fiction book I've ever read that I HAD to buy it, regardless of the hardcover price tag. His other reason might have been that I wouldn't shut up about the book, Amanda Palmer, or Neil Gaiman, and maybe paying for the book would finally earn him a subject change. I greatly look forward to rereading it, and I can't recommend it enough. I somewhat understand why it's labeled as "Self-Help", but I think it fits better into the auto-biography or memoir categories. Really, it's a one-on-one, sit down, with an endless cup of coffee or glass of wine, conversation with a best friend. Unfortunately there's no category for that in bookstores and libraries.

I hadn't heard of Amanda Palmer before a friend recommended this book saying it changed how she managed her indie writing career. Have to say that I admire Palmer's honesty and her bravery. She holds nothing back as she describes her struggles to live her art. At times I doubted there was a usable takeaway for the more introverted among us. But the more I read, the more I saw that the same online world Palmer makes such good use of can be a comfy place for shy people to connect with fans and fellow artists.

Palmer's strength is her beautifully human approach to art. Her efforts to democratize it, making and sharing it in a way that doesn't depend on mainstream Curators of Culture, is refreshing. I also appreciate that she doesn't minimize the financial worries that haunt creative types. Most of us would work for free if not for a few inconvenient truths--such as the need for food, shelter, and antibiotics. Palmer shows by example how we don't have to make a fortune from our art for it to count. Just the fact that you've created a painting, a book, a performance piece, gives it value. At the same time, she acknowledges that society doesn't always see things this way. It's okay to work in an office sixty hours a week to afford a BMW and trips to Aruba. But working in an ice cream shop to buy time to paint or write? That only counts in hindsight--after snagging the book-movie deal or the show on reality TV.

THE ART OF ASKING does jump around in time, and the text is occasionally interrupted by song lyrics, but this jagged style fits Palmer's story and reflects her personality. On the whole, it's an entertaining and thoughtful memoir by someone who's led a fascinating life just by following her own star.

Not sure what the hype is. She is easy to listen to but she just tells how to get other people to pay for her lifestyle. Seems like they would do that by buying her music if they liked it but I guess kick start begging gets it faster with no middle man

I happened onto this book while browsing titles in the audio books at the library. The idea of learning how to ask for what I want appealed to me. What I got was so much more. As a huge fan of Brene' Brown, I started off impressed when I heard her introduction. Since I am in my sixties and grew up listening to a whole different type of music, initially I simply tolerated the music inserts. By the time I reached the end of the book, I found myself listening with new ears for what I had not heard at the beginning.

I love Amanda's courage and willingness to share everything - not just the parts that made her look good. As a fellow writer I have found myself in the same dilemma. Yet, in the end, the reader and the writer are greatly rewarded by her vulnerable and unvarnished account of using her resources to follow her dream. She has inspired me to do the same, start a crowdfunding project. Mine is designed to help women in domestic abuse shelters, Empowerment through Education.

I also love Amanda's creativity - from birthing the 8-foot bride to creating her Kickstarter to sharing her insights and experiences with the world in this awesome book.

Amanda is real. She is honest. She is heart-felt and vulnerable. She is my hero. While I never picture myself crowd surfing in the nude, I applaud her candidness in telling us about those experiences and so much more.

One of your biggest fans, Pat Grissom

First, I must say that I'm a huge fan of Amanda Palmer's music and creative life. That is why I wanted to read this book, and that is what I brought to my reading of it. I can't say how I would have experienced the book otherwise. I CAN say that after reading this book, I adore and appreciate her even more. Exponentially. That has not always been the case when I've learned more about public figures whom I admire (see my recent review of Not That Kind of Girl, for example).

This book lets us into the world of Amanda Palmer in a deep way. That world is already pretty available through her social media presence and TED Talk, etc., but this book goes even deeper, giving us more background and context. It is raw and honest and beautiful and moving. It offers great and often surprising reminders of the importance of truly connecting with others in this life.

At first, I found the arrangement of the snippets to be a bit random and disjointed-feeling, but I quickly surrendered to them and settled into a rhythm with Palmer's writing. It didn't really come as a surprise that her approach to a memoir would feel different than a typical one, given that she's anything but typical. The payoff to that surrender was great. I spent my time in those pages feeling transported, happy to know that people are out there, living life on their own terms and sharing that message with others. It was a lovely reminder to be as present as possible in our own lives, to really notice the lives around us, and to let people in, both by giving and receiving from them.

I am grateful to have spent this time in AmandaLand, a refreshing, unique place to be.

I've listened to Amanda's music for years and to be honest I sort of fell in love with the honesty her music always seemed to have. I missed out on her Kickstarter sadly but when I saw that she was writing a book I was not going to miss out on this aspect of one of my favorite singers. I ended up preordering a few days before it came out (joy of keeping to a budget) and I got a few days ago. I haven't been obsessively reading her book the way I have with other books but instead I've been reading it slowly.

One of the biggest things that got to me early on was the way she explains the desire to be "seen" by people. I will admit that many passages had me thinking about my own fears of connecting and interact with people. I would have to stop reading for bits because I wanted to cry. It wasn't because of her book or even the subject matter of the writing. Her music as always gotten to me and I can't say that her book is any different. She gets a lot of grief online and I don't think its warranted. She doesn't fit the social norms but she's also unapologetic for being that way and I think that is what has gotten so much hate thrown her way.

I read reviews from people that slammed the book before it was even in print and there were those who said they didn't even bother reading it because they hated her so much. Its sad because the book is a very personal book and I think that even if this isn't "your type of book" its worth a read.

Fascinating read. I did not know who Amanda Palmer was before I read the book, nor had I seen her TED Talk. I saw a small article in our local paper, which intrigued me. I like the idea of community; I believe in trusting my fellow humans, and I thought this book would probably substantiate my world view. And who doesn't want that? Heck, I didn't even realize that the book would be an autobiography! Plus I was gobstopped when the book arrived from the library, and I realized she is married to Neil Giaman. At that time, I was reading his latest book "The Ocean at the End of the Lane."

What a great and interesting read. The book is the tale of Ms. Palmer's evolution as an artist as young adult to the day the book goes to the printer in roughly chronological order, and all the stories focus on what it means and feel like to be a person who asks for help or money or resources or love in exchange for (in her case) art. Her encouragement to let others help you if they want, and to offer help to others in exchange, is truly affirming.

Plus, I must say, some of her stories are just jaw dropping "no way! you didn't!" stories. Even if you couldn't care less about "the art of asking" part (and why wouldn't you?) her life story is a real hoot, and she tells a great tale.

I liked this book a lot. In fact, it may be the best thing I read in 2014. Why did I like it and I think you will too?

One: it's a good honest autobiography that touches on the lives of several very interesting persons. There is much there to be inspired by, and if you're not an artist type, it's a glimpse into a fascinating world.

Two: it has a message of self-acceptance that every creative person, whether you are a professional artist or not, should listen to.

Three: it will help you understand some of the new ways art can be shared, of you're interested in such things.

Four: because, how to say it? Because all we need is love, and Amanda Palmer has learned that and embodied it in her own life and career, and this is a truth we can all use.

Buy this book, read it, then buy more, or loan it to all your friends. Then make more friends and give it to them too.

I hate asking for help. I don't like asking for someone to loan me money. I don't like asking to borrow a vehicle. I don't like bumming a ride. I don't like asking for a shoulder to cry on. I am a chronically independent person.

I think it was kismet that while I was reading this book I was also moving into a new apartment with almost no notice and no money. In the last week I've asked to borrow vehicles, washing machines, time, hugs and muscle power. I've had to ask for more favors than I ever cared to ask for. Luckily, I had Amanda Palmer's love of the world to help me in humbling myself and trusting my amazing family and friends, my personal network, in this process. (By the way, thank you to our friends and family who helped!)

The Art of Asking
I've been a fan of Amanda Palmer, indie rock star turned author in this memoir/self-help-book/business-guide, since her Dresden Dolls days. I performed as the "Coin-Operated Boy" in a drag show performance of her popular song just months after I turned twenty-one and could legally go to bars. She has inspired me to put my art out there, to be true to who I am and to be okay with exposing my darkest and deepest self to the world in the way an artist must. Many people have discovered her through her endlessly inspirational TED Talk.

Amanda Palmer loves. She has an ongoing love affair with her fans, her husband, the world itself. She loves people. She loves life, even when she hates it. She loves the entire human family. And her love of the human family, the things we are capable of and the things we sometimes fail at, seeps out of every line of this book. This book will make you want to trust, want to love, want to feel comfortable relying on people, even in moments when you are making yourself incredibly vulnerable.

Palmer details her controversial experiences with media and social media. She describes some of her big mistakes in life, and some incredibly difficult positions she's been put in. But throughout the whole thing she is telling a story about how to rewrite our relationship with artists, and our relationships with fan if we are artists. She is allowing us, as a society, to entertain the idea of returning to embracing our artists, welcoming them back into the arms of society and off the pedestal, off the red carpet and from behind the velvet rope. She is telling a story about embracing the Indie artist as valid and real without a label or publishing house or art review telling us they are valid and real. She is telling artists to rely on their fans to help them, financially, emotionally and in building a rewarding career. To build a rewarding network of fans and followers that can catch the artist when she falls and boost her up when she succeeds.

Palmer is validating the artist who only sells a few hundred prints as just as important to the world as the one showing in art galleries in New York or Paris. She is validating the musician who performs for free at their friend's birthday parties as just as much a musician as the one topping the best-sellers lists. She is validating the self-published blogger who is just as much a writer as the one being reviewed in the New York Times.

This book is going to be a part of a collection of books that I return to often when I need a social and moral boost. Palmer reminds the reader that we are all human, we are all connected and we all need to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to be flawed. To be exactly what we are and to be proud of that.

The Art of Asking, like so many books, came to me exactly when I needed it, and I'll forever be grateful for it. I can't wait to finish unpacking my new apartment and place it in its rightful place beside the other books that inspire me to love life.

http://imaginekatrina.blogspot.com/2014/11/the-art-of-asking-by-amanda-palmer-book.html

There are those who would say that famous people bare their souls at the drop of a hat and for purely selfish purposes. Truth is, it takes great trust to share on that level and not just trust in the readers.
This book is about trust - not just in others but in one's self. And just as difficult as it is to develop trust in others, it can be harder to trust one's self.
Amanda trusts and in this book she talks about how she learned to trust and encourages us to do the same. She shares through the language of stories and in doing so, we feel as if she is writing just for the individual reader, a personal & intimate letter of encouragement.
I loved this book and it touched many parts of me - the corporate professional, the eldest of 8, the romantic partner and the artist. Simply wonderful.
I also purchased this book via Audible and listening to Amanda speak her own words made it more profound, intimate and even at times hilarious. I have listened to it several times & I find something profound or different in each 'reading'.
You don't have to be a fan of Amanda or her music to enjoy or be touched by this book - all you need to do is trust that when you are finished, you will feel enriched in some way great or small.

Extra kudos to Amanda's husband Neil, who generously trusted his wife to share some of their most private moments with us and in doing so, allowed us to appreciate him, his work and their life on a whole new level.

This book could alternatively be titled How Amanda Made a Million Dollars by Saying Please. Yet, it’s about so much more than that. It’s also about being human and about the trials/tribulations of a professional artist in today’s climate. Amanda Palmer was requested to write a book after she did a TED talk on the art of asking for help. The Art of Asking is a nonfiction story about how a struggling artist (street performer and musician) was able to crowd-fund a million dollars for her band, become successful, and create meaningful connections directly with her audience while cutting out any “middle man” or record label. Her half punk-half cabaret band is weird, her audience very specific. Only after I started reading this book did I remember that I used to be one of her fans as a teenager! I used to love her song Coin Operated Boy. While her music may not be for everyone, her story could bring almost anyone to tears and laughter. In the beginning, Amanda tells about her first job as a living statue in a public park. How that performance made her fall in love repeatedly. It also brought loneliness and harassment. Little did she know at the time, she was getting a real education on how to be a professional musician. Soon Amanda becomes able to work full time with her band and even gets signed on with a major record label.

However, even after selling thousands of copies of her CD release they considered her a failure. Surprisingly, Amanda Palmer thought of them as failures. She was pissed at her record company. The remainder of the story tells how Amanda did it right -she asked for help. Her and the band raised money through crowd-funding with Kickstarter. They twittered when they needed a place to sleep on tour, or asked for food when hungry. Despite her critic’s antics, Amanda Palmer knows how to keep an authentic relationship with her fans. She formed thousands of friendships full of honesty and based on trust. Instead of some large record label’s marketing schemas of make the audience pay for it, Amanda asks how do we let them offer money?

Amanda, if you are reading this – I thank you from the bottom of my heart for gifting your stories and your art for the world to hear. I thank you because these stories inspire my own drive to be myself, to give my art and create more and more of those real connections, forming reciprocal relationships. Most of all, this book helps me to remember to be humble and to ask for help when needed, to go ahead and release the shame and the fear around what the answer may be. Thank you again, Amanda Palmer for your courage.

(Note: I bought this book on Audible, I recommend this format because it is read by the author and includes several of her songs in the audio book.)

I simultaneously listened to her audio book and also read her hubby, Neil's, The Graveyard Book. Great writing of both...loved to hear the back story of their courtship.

Highly recommend listening to the audio version read by Amanda. Audio version includes some of her music interspersed between chapters. Unique, creative artist with an entrepreneurial spirit. Love her passion for life and transparency. She reminds me of a great movie quote from Auntie Mame,"You've got to live, live, LIVE!" and "Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death! Thank you Amanda for sharing your story, it touched me.

A friend of mine gave me this book and despite the fact that I was already reading 8 books at the time, I cracked the cover that night and started reading. And I was hooked, both by Amanda's story and what the book is really about: How to ask, how to give, and how to receive. There were times I read this book and felt really moved to tears, times I felt emotions come up where I needed to explore why I felt so resistant to trusting, giving, or asking. This book gave me a ton to think about and work through, in a good way. There are lessons here I'll revisit, and work into my business and life. If you don't read anything else this year, do yourself a favor and read this book.

The author goes on and on telling stories about her street performing days and ex-boyfriends but never comes to a point. I was really hoping to learn something from this book but there is nothing to be learned here. It's pretty much a premature memoir.

I have the the store Audible version of the book narrated by Amanda Palmer. I enjoy the narration. This book is very interesting and insightful and very important for everyone. I love her storytelling skills. Interesting insights on the music business. This book is very honest! Amanda Palmer addresses a problem important to all of us. I recommend this book without qualifications. I use the store Echo with Alexa. Great book!

I don't know if you have had this experience, but it is something I love and something I wish I felt more often - pure passion for a subject. There are teachers, writers, performers, creators who I see or read about that inspire me and make me want to create (I don't want to immolate them - I want to create something of my own. The reason they inspire me so much is because of their love and passion for their own subject. This book is that. I have seen Amanda perform once a couple years back. Other than that I knew she existed but didn't really pay attention. I had to ask a very hard question recently, and a friend of mine gave me this book (as well as crazy amounts of love and support). I probably wouldn't have picked it up otherwise. But now.... I will be giving this as a gift. She may not be the best writer, better at songs than prose. Some of the flow is disjointed and all over... But the love and passion for her subject for her music for her fans for her belief in love makes up for any unusual writing style. I really do recommend this one.

I didn’t know that I needed this book, but I did. I know vaguely about Amanda Palmer but wouldn’t count myself a fan, I was just intrigued and thus book 100% delivers in a raw, powerful way. I read, I listened to the music, I mused on how I have the inability to ask for help, and then I read some more. Please give this a try, it won’t disappoint.

Amanda Palmer is fantastic. This book is absolutely stellar. Go read it, right the heck now. Seriously. If you don't already love AFP, you will. (or maybe not, you might think she's narcissistic, which I do not.) I admit I highlighted a LOT of parts from this book. I took pictures of specific sections and sent them to my loves. really, I did. AFP talks about her time as a statue, her relationship with C. Anthony M. and Neil himself. She writes about the difficulties The Dresden Dolls had and that she had. She encourages her readers to ask for help, to be honest, to have faith in their fellow humans. It does got back and forth a lot, but I enjoy stream-of-consciousness writing. Go read it. I have already begun lending my copy out to friends

A friend of mine recommended this book due to a non-profit venture I am embarking upon to help indie artists (of all kinds) learn to be successful as professionals. I bought the Audible version and have been listening to it when I drive. First of all, I never realized how *cool* Amanda is, just in general. Hearing her tell this story in her own words is beyond amazing. Secondly, and probably more directly relatable is the fact that the sense of connectedness she fosters and evangelizes so completely captures my own feelings of community, family, and how I hope our society starts treating one another.

I cannot recommend this book enough to anyone that struggles with the concept of connection, deals with loneliness, is in a "non-traditional" career, or just plain needs a virtual hug. You won't regret it.

Well, I heard a whole lot about Amanda Palmer and not a whole lot about asking. It seems painfully obvious from the first chapter that she gave a TED talk, was offered a book deal and took it whether she was ready to write a book or not. I know all the places she's traveled, all the boyfriends she's had, all the compliments she's been showered with, etc. She mentions how people refer to her as a narcissist and if she read her own book she might understand their point of view. I don't think she's a bad person and I'm sure her intentions have been genuine throughout her life. But I don't enjoy the book and yeah, I find her obnoxious from this point of view. Hate is a strong word, so it gets 2 stars instead of 1.

I have been a fan of Amanda Palmer's music for years and was beyond excited to hear she and my favorite author were dating (I cried for joy when they married and now happily following their pregnancy via her posts). Several times while reading this book I tweeted thanks to her. I cried (a lot) but I also felt my faith in love return. The balance of giving and receiving is enhanced by graciously accepting what is offered and realizing that asking for what you need is not selfish. As a nurse, giving is easy but asking for what I need is difficult. I love this book for helping me see that I am worthy of asking. After all, I've been told no before and I'm still alive but maybe by asking I can get what I need to help others.

Typically I enjoy a sequential biography chronicling an individual’s life in an easy to follow linear way. Amanda’s book is like having numerous cups of coffee with a shiny new friend excitedly sharing her various high and low adventures in whatever random order they happen to pop into her brain. I loved it; and now I love her. I have listened to bits of her music but never sat down and really heard her work, now I can’t wait to devote a day or three to really seeing her and her art. Hearing how freely she lives and loves both shocks and inspires me to step outside my comfort zone, which I’ll admit is rather small in range and number.

As an angst filled teenager in a small town, I pushed through to the "Real World" surviving on Amanda's music with the Dresden Dolls. Following her from those days forward, I sat down, read this book, and realized how much teenage me still exists.

This isn't a self-help book, yet its impact mimics a good one. The honesty of Amanda's experiences and thoughts are profound and presented in a page turning manner. Not only do you want to continue to advance the plot, but you want to read more to continue to find more of yourself and feel like the world isn't such a scary place.

While reading this book, I felt seen. It called out the Fraud Police and how I should push them away. I bought a copy of this book for myself last fall, and have decided to give this as a gift to my friends for Christmas.

I bought the audiobook on Audible. This book is for everyone. Mandatory reading for artists, crowdsourcers, humans. You don't have to know or like Amanda or her music to benefit from the book. Critics have looked at Amanda's record breaking $1.2 million music Kickstarter campaign as the result of some sort of "scamming" or witchcraft. In response, Amanda does her best to explain how she so easily acquired funding, attention, and support from her fans.

She did it by being Amanda. The book is her best attempt at explaining how to be like her, which as the title suggests, is a human vulnerable enough to ask for help. There is very little manipulation that happens in busking. What you see is what you get, and you don't have to pay for if you don't want to. But if you want to, you can.

Now that we're living in an era when so many try to sell their goods on the internet, in other words busk in cyberspace, the inevitable concern is where and how to find your audience. Amanda explains in detail how available she's made herself to her fan base, which has in return earned her a living as an artist.

Makes a great gift for anyone you know. Really.

Review by: Mark Palm
Full reviews at: http://thebookendfamily.weebly.com/blog/the-art-of-asking-by-amanda-palmer

I first became aware of Amanda Palmer as the lead singer/songwriter of The Dresden Dolls, a duo most often called punk cabaret, but really just unclassifiable. Labels and categories drive me crazy, but whatever you called them I recognized that Ms. Palmer was an excellent songwriter with a distinct and unique voice. Writing a song and writing a book are two very different things, and not a whole lot of people have been good at both, but after reading The Art of Asking I can definitely say that Ms. Palmer has got the act down cold.

Like most of her songs, this book doesn’t fall easily into a category, but instead moves effortlessly through a several different genres; autobiography, self-help, and a treatise/meditation on art, artists, and not surprisingly, the Art of Asking, which in the author’s eyes lies at the heart of the most important human endeavors, particularly matters of art, and of the heart. What makes this book so successful is Ms. Palmer’s skill at moving between the different styles of the book, while always writing with talent and deep emotion. As the story unwinds from her early days as a street performer to the creation of the Dresden Dolls, to her current life, it skips back in forth in time and place, a technique that could be confusing in lesser hands, but one that Ms. Palmer pulls off effortlessly. Ms. Palmer does an exceptional job at mixing the particulars of her private life with her musings on the nature of art, and using examples of one to highlight the other. It certainly helps that she has led such an interesting and varied life, and is so able to write about it with such open-ness and sincerity. I could probably hook you in even more by telling you the details, but I really dislike being a spoiler, so I‘ll just let you find out for yourself what an interesting book this really is.

One thing I haven’t done yet, but am going to as soon as I am able, is check out the soundtrack that is available on- line to augment this book. Ms. Palmer is, after all, a musician first and foremost, and I expect that the music she has picked will be a wonderful compliment to this work. Either way it stands just fine as it is, alone. If Ms. Palmer has any doubts left about her ability to write a book, she should jettison them. I was both surprised and moved by The Art of Asking, and I look forward eagerly to see what she will do next.
I see you, Amanda.

This may be one of the most incredible autobiographies I've ever discovered. I wasn't very familiar with Ms. Palmer before this book, but her Ted Talk made me have to check it out! So glad I did, because it's amazing, honest, and powerful!

Make sure to get this on cd or audio download, because the author reading it herself and including important music to her transforms this book into a true multimedia and cultural experience! This is a brilliant gift for any musician or artist in your family! (I've already purchased a copy for my 23 year old musician son and he's declared it one of the best gifts he's received!)

As an internationally published early punk photographer, artist, web designer, writer, teacher, woman, I laughed and cried reading this book. I've read so much about being creative, but her book offered unique insights. She speaks to me. The book blurbs talked about her "generation." I'm old enough to be her mother. Let's NOT make this a generational thing. Her book is universal, for women, men, any age.

Amanda Palmer is talented, bright, witty, sensitive, brave, articulate, caring and sharing woman. I love her tone, speaking conversationally but with so much depth and salient advice. Words really escape me other than to say: buy it or get it from the library as I did (if you are unsure you want to buy it or lack funds). Read it, then buy it because it's a keeper. I wish I bought it first because I wanted to mark it up. Which I never do: my books are always in pristine condition. The Kindle version is ideal because you can readily make notations. This is a book to return to for inspiration, comfort, tears and laughter, esp if you are an artist. I'll re-read and recommend to many in the years to come. An instant classic on so many levels.

Background info: I first saw Dresden Dolls around 2004 or so. I've followed her career a bit, bought a couple Dresden Dolls CDs and see her online here and there. I paid close attention to the media scrutiny and her responses to her landmark Kickstarter campaign. I was very excited to discover she wrote a book about her life and adventures. Better than I could imagine. Good stuff!

Amanda Palmer copped a lot of flak a few years ago when she raised a record amount of money via crowdfunding to produce and promote her 2012 album. The success was jarring to many purists because they truly didn't understand the concept. Palmer then gave a stunning TED talk and was commissioned to write this beautifully candid book. In it she not only silences her critics but wins a million hearts with her personal revelations and inspires as many artists. Revealing her genuine struggles as an aspiring performance artist and the encumbent insecurites in becoming a professional musician, she demonstrates how the earliest parts of her career ended up shaping the way she ended up realising her dream- of creating a truly connected global, artistic and consciously aware community that helps, shares, supports the people who want to create art THEIR way - instead of doing it via the monolithic and mercenary mainstream pop music industry. It's a compelling and comforting read for anyone struggling to get out from under the weight of their own pride.

I'm still a little misty-eyed from reading this and it's going to take a while to fully process this book. If you're a creative person, (or anyone) I highly recommend it. It's part autobiography, part manifesto on changing your perspective on art, creating, and connecting. It's brave and a little crazy and there were parts where I was furious and parts where I chuckled out loud while strangers glanced warily at me. Overall though, I loved it. I've never listened to the Dresden Dolls or Amanda's music (although I'm wildly curious now). Just from an artist's perspective, I found it deeply reassuring. Not only in terms of feeling similar fears and joys, but just in knowing that connecting on the level artist's really want to connect is possible.

Amanda Palmer has written a thoughtful, thought-provoking, and intensely personal account of how she learned to ask. Her story gives you all of the positive reasons you should embrace the vulnerability of asking for help, but it also provides the counterpoints when you are dealing with flawed human beings (and aren’t we all flawed in some way?).

If you are a creative person who is scared to share their creativity with the world – read this book! If you are someone who hates to ask others for help or assistance – read this book! If you find personal narratives intriguing – read this book! If you are considering creating a large online community, and being controversial (very honest with them) – read this book!

I don’t think you will be disappointed, and you might just learn something about the value of being vulnerable.

Throughout this book, Palmer shares her struggles with learning to let her husband (author Neil Gaiman) support her financially in her work. She finds that she can easily let strangers help her but it feels different taking money from her love partner. It’s a struggle I think many female artists (and those who don’t call themselves artists, I suppose, and maybe not just females for that matter) deal with in their relationships. Money and love and art … this is life and yet we try to hard to keep them un-entangled to keep them clearer in our heads, which is all just an illusion but one that makes us feel more in control.

absolutely a must have book for whatever size collection you have. The audio book is a definite must listen to if you don't want to read the physical book. but even after listening to the amazing readings and minstrel singing of amanda palmer in her audio book i will buy the physical book. Cause its just that good. Id hand this book out to strangers like a bible if i had limitless money. For now ill purchase a few for friends and family :)

This is a book about a young woman growing up and finding out how art, work, and love relate to her life. I think anyone who is honest with themselves will find some useful (perhaps even inspiring) ways in which Amanda's observations and discoveries apply to your own life. But this is not a self-help book. There are no menus, prescriptions, or to-do lists.

At its heart, Amanda's thesis is that we are separated from others by fear, that there is a way of connecting with others by asking, and that there is a gracious way to ask. But overcoming the fear is your own job and it isn't easy, even if you find some hints about how to do it in her story.

Amanda inspires strong feelings. Those who don't know her but hear about things she has said or done often find it easy to hate her. I recommend this book especially to those people. You may change your mind. If you don't change your mind, you'll at least have a much more accurate idea of what you are reacting to.

I love everything about Amanda Palmer - Her spirit, her outrageousness ... not to mention her ability to teach me to ask the universe for what I need next. I'm a fan! My business plans have just been given a dose of adrenaline - Amanda Palmer adrenaline! You can have some too! Read or download on Audible - I am listening to Amanda on Audible daily!

The Art of Asking is an emotionally powerful account of how Amanda Palmer came to be able to go directly to her fans for financial support of her art. She raises many crucial questions about the relationship between artists and audiences and answers some of them, though not all. I highly recommend it for musicians, writers, filmmakers, and other artists trying to make their way financially in rapidly changing markets.

I saw so many parallels between the way AFP and I interact with others, but I never put together the part about how having to ask for help means you also have to trust the person you are asking to not use it against you later until she and Neil were so kind as to put a public window into the history of their relationship. That was a revelation. I think everyone can find something in this book resonates with them just as deeply.

There is so much heart and raw honesty in this book that at times it is overwhelming. Because we censor ourselves, don't we? Because it's hard to trust people when we make ourselves vulnerable and naked.
The Art of Asking has so many beautiful ideas about art and connection and humanity. Amanda connects the dots and through a series of (many) out of sequence stories, she shows us what it is to live your art.

I am a quiet fan. I have only been to one show, in Berkley when the Dresden Dolls toured with Cindy Lauper. I am in love with Amanda's spirit, first through her music and now in getting to know her through the book. Her love for her fans and how she shows up in the world is inspiring. I am an introvert and can't imagine letting the world in as she does, just the thought of it is exhausting. I can very much appreciate the ease and love of humanity that Amanda exudes, and while I am mostly in acceptance of my nature, she makes me long for the connection she talks about. But I digress, this is a wonderful book written by a very unique and beautiful woman.

I approached this book very delicately. Having read all the controversies about Amanda over the years I was prepared for indulgence. Instead I was wowed to see what a simple thought as the art of asking is.

Good read.

Wonderful book. Plenty of great stories about her career, but got off topic a bit. First chapter or so is mind opening about the art of asking, and how we can all use a lesson on being able to ask for help.
After the first two chapters Amanda goes into her career and relationships. Still well worth reading.

I've never written a book review before, even though I've read hundreds and hundreds of books. I'm writing this review because this book was beautiful, meaningful, and I feel like it changed something in my life. If you're like me, and you sometimes wonder "why aren't people helping me? Why can't they see I need help? I'm in pain!" - you need to read this book. Her writing style is refreshing, more like a conversation somehow, than a book. I found the sections written about her husband, the amazing Neil Gaiman, incredibly touching and beautiful. I highly recommend this book.

This is an amazing book about an amazing woman on an amazing journey. If only we could all be so brave. I need to share this with all my artist friends and help them open up to the concept of asking for help. I know a lot of people who are struggling with this and this book would be a great eye opener for them.

I blew through this book over the Thanksgiving holiday, it was so good! It really resonated with me as an aspiring musician. I could hear Amanda's voice reading it in my head (or at least how imagine she would say it in her deep raspy way). This women is a force of nature and she embodies a new era of music where social media has become our main source for connection.

Read this book and please please please go listen to "The Bed Song" by Amanda!

I am a dresden dolls fan, so I worried at first that would make me biased. But the book is so much more than just a bio for Amanda Palmer fans. It's inspirational, heartfelt and honest. For any of the dreams you have for your life, there is inspiration here that makes you want to just get up and go get it. As a fan I was particularly interested in her personal story, and if you're like me you won't be disappointed. She covers her early life, how she got started in the music industry and onwards. The only way I can describe it is as a very honest, private, public display of a life with lessons for us all to learn. I am so glad she wrote this, it is inspiring in ways that aren't even music or art related.

Reading this book was like sitting down for a coffee with an old friend, having them confide in you, and feeling that wonderful recognition of "You too? Oh thank god. I thought I was the only one." Not only was this book an extreme comfort to read, it was eye-opening and heart-wrenching. From her journey of living statue to successful rock star and now published author, Amanda tells her own very personal and inspiring story of growth. As a musician, this book changed my perspective of the music industry and how we as musicians share our music with our fans. You don't have to be a musician to enjoy this book. It's a delightful read for anyone with a pulse. I laughed quite a bit and cried a few times, too. I couldn't put it down.

This is not a self-help book. It is almost entirely autobiographical, which is fine, but I was expecting a book about asking for help.
I don't follow Amanda Palmer or really care about her or the Dresden Dolls. I'm sure if I was a fan or if I knew more about her prior to picking up this book, I might have liked it more, but the first half of the book is just her talking about her performance art (she was a creepy bride statue that handed out flowers) in Harvard Square and how life-changing that was for her. I just wasn't into it. It wasn't what I thought it would be.
However, if you are a fan of hers, this seems like a really interesting peek into her life, and you will probably like the book a lot.

This was real and honest and painful and wonderful. It's life.

I bought the book signed in hardcover but never managed to get around to reading it. I gave the book away and borrowed the audiobook from the library...such a wondeful idea. It was great to hear Amanda read the book herself, there is also music playing in between some of the chapters.

Everyone, artist or no, should read this. Even if just to renew your faith in humanity.

Delighted to be the first to review this.

I have watched the TED talk The Art of Asking grew out of countless times, regularly refer to it in articles I write and talks I give, and generally tell all my friends in the arts to make sure they watch it at least once a month.

When I knew the book was coming out, I did the asking thing, and tweeted my two local bookstores (sorry, the store) to see which would be stocking the book. It was nearly midnight but one of them tweeted me straight back and there was the book, waiting pristine behind the counter the next morning.

Needless to say, it is no longer pristine. Devoured in its entirety on two bus ride commutes, pretty much every page is dog-eared to mark pieces I will want to come back to again and again. Once or twice I think there are some social subtleties missed (the surgeon asking for the scalpel, for example - not quite sure how reciprocal that relation to the underpaid scrub nurse not in a position to ask for much is) but this is basically gold dust. Brilliant, moving, funny insights into human nature, and most of all a clarion call to all of us being held back from fulfilling our artistic dreams by imposter syndrome.

Thank you, Amanda.

As an Amanda Palmer fan, I expected to enjoy this book and, perhaps, even find some nuggets of inspiration. I did not expect it to impact me as profoundly as it did. Whether you are already a fan, a curious bystander, an artist, a creator, or just someone who likes to feel something when they read, this book is achingly beautiful and more than worth the time.

I live this book. That's not a typo. I do love this book also, but its beyond that now. I live my life around a lot of its ideals. I enjoyed hearing Amanda's stories, but I also learned valuable life tools that have changed everything for the better in my life. Also, there's a painted naked lady (Amanda herself) on the cover, so that's cool.

As a memoir alone this book would get five stars. As a "self help" book it would also get five stars, because it's message of the willingness to ask for help is spot on. As an audiobook I want to give this one ten stars (and I listen to a lot of audiobooks). Amanda does a great job reading her words in an engaging way. It feels like having a good talk with an even better friend. The fact she uses her own music in the audiobook just adds an extra layer of fun.

Reading about Amanda Palmer's busking career as living statue, 'The Bride,' was powerful and my favorite part of the book. She silently asked, "Love?" Random passers-by took the flower she offered, silently answering back, "Love." This real life story from a street performers perspective is engaging and thought-provoking. I didn't read the whole book, but I recommend this part about busking.

Extraordinary, life-changing reading….
I cannot recommend this book enough. I am just over halfway through and already know when it is done I will miss its presence in my daily life.
So beautiful and vulnerable and a document of a life well and bravely lived.

Amazing work…..

This book is a revelation. Read if you have ever had impostor syndrome. Read it if you are an artist. Read it if you are a surgeon or a firefighter or any type of person doing any type of thing.

Amanda says: I see you. I say: Thank you for seeing me.

A well-written and quite readable book, THE ART OF ASKING developed from Amanda Palmer 's eponymous T.E.D. talk. She offers some important lessons in human interaction as she describes her need to.balance on the tightwire between individual creative independence and allowing.others to.help out. Most amazing to me is her capacity to be ingenious and transparent, extending beyond honesty to a realm in which her true creative self is revealed.

I reviewed a digital ARC generously provided by the publisher via NetGalley for the sole purpose of the fair and honest review. No fees were exchanged.

One of the best and most inspiring books I've read. I'll be sending these as gifts to friends. I love Amanda Palmer, and how she shares her rawness with the world through this book. It makes me feel more confident in my own artistic choices.

Amanda Palmer's book is an autobiography for the Tweet generation.

It was an interesting read. Amanda's significant insights and emotional revelations read like a personal Twitter feed between close friends.

I had picked up an album by the Dresden Dolls a few months back while visiting Boston. I had not heard of Amanda Palmer and had no idea she was the lead for the group. Some of their lyrics form the chapter breaks in the book.

Also, she is married to Neil Gaiman. Who knew?

While I enjoyed the book, I am probably not the intended demographic for "The Art of Asking."

I related to her band, her husband, and her description of MIT and Boston icons. I appreciated that Amanda had a very successful Kickstarter having been a principal for one six months ago.

The hard core Tweeters will relate to this book at a level beyond all those things. They will be able to relate to Amanda's day to day struggles and her blistering transparency and honesty.

It is an interesting read. It is one of the autobiographical self-help books that I have seen.

Enjoy!

This is a beautiful book about art, love, life, shame, fear, society, and learning how it's okay to let people help you. Amanda writes about several topics that are very personal and comes across as hopeful and honest. If everyone tried on the values that she shows in her novel, I think the world would be a better, kinder place.

Holy God. Amanda Palmer is real. Very real and very honest and very loving actually (for a punk rock chick). I am awestruck by her bravery. She is a rocker who literally has rocked my world. She makes me want to be a statue for a living so I can get really intimate with strangers.

I devoured the Art of Asking a few months ago, during a time that I was feeling particularly depressed about my creative work. If you are an artist or someone creative or just a person in general (yeah, it's appeal is this broad), I think this book is well worth reading. There were so many moments when I thought, "YES," and when I wanted to give Amanda Palmer a huge hug and thank her for this wonderful book.

A beautiful and touching peek into the soul of someone who has made a lifelong journey into the heart of giving as a way of living life fully. Helped me awaken to the purpose of art on a deeper level. Thank you, Amanda. I love you.

This is a beautiful book about art, love, life, shame, fear, society, and learning how it's okay to let people help you. Amanda writes about several topics that are very personal and comes across as hopeful and honest. If everyone tried on the values that she shows in her novel, I think the world would be a better, kinder place.

Holy God. Amanda Palmer is real. Very real and very honest and very loving actually (for a punk rock chick). I am awestruck by her bravery. She is a rocker who literally has rocked my world. She makes me want to be a statue for a living so I can get really intimate with strangers.

I devoured the Art of Asking a few months ago, during a time that I was feeling particularly depressed about my creative work. If you are an artist or someone creative or just a person in general (yeah, it's appeal is this broad), I think this book is well worth reading. There were so many moments when I thought, "YES," and when I wanted to give Amanda Palmer a huge hug and thank her for this wonderful book.

A beautiful and touching peek into the soul of someone who has made a lifelong journey into the heart of giving as a way of living life fully. Helped me awaken to the purpose of art on a deeper level. Thank you, Amanda. I love you.

Trying to be creative, or even just live a life with less fear and more openness? This book will take you on a journey while Amanda holds your hand and walks you down her self constructed path and shows you how to make your own. This book is a gift to is all.

Love her or hate her, she is always honest. For a fan this book is like being in a dusty attic space and realizing that you were there with her when her horse was lost and the nothing was attacking everything in the Neverending story. I have been a distant fan for over a decade and I remember the jump from mailing list to twitter. I was there reading the story living my life with her there somewhere living hers and including us all.

I became familiar with Amanda Palmer's work through their touring days with Nine Inch Nails. At that time she and a young man promoted themselves as the Dresden Dolls. I found both her voice and her lyrics to be lovely so I purchased as much of their music as I could get my hands on and even introduced it to my oldest daughter, an artist in study at the time.

Being a family of several different races/cultures: Apache, Black, Irish, and Swedish I felt our love for this artist diminish slightly when in her song "Ampersand" she referred to a group of black guys hanging out at "ghetto boys" unnecessary and disrespectful. But I digress.

I read this book after my daughter read it and was very upset and I can see why. This book is the work of a privilege women who feels entitled to ask the world to support her making her art while at the same time reaping the monetary rewards of selling books, being married to a multi-millionaire, selling records... I mean where does it end? Isn't the point of once you've made it you have your OWN money in which to work with? She had to have made some money with Dresden Dolls & Evelyn Evelyn and as a solo artist. Plus she had little expense since fans were providing for her as she traveled the world during her tours and her show weren't free.

The only universal truths that this book uncovers is narcissist still exist, entitlement is alive and well, even cons can have real talent and, people are not going to like this, but it's the truth and I not afraid to say it this book could only be written and promoted by a White woman/man. By any other race it would have more than like failed and been labeled "The Art of the Con" Serious, imagine LeBron's wife asking for money from the public to do her art. It would be the joke of the year.

My daughter worked a regular job at a museum and played piano at night at piano bars to save up for art supplies. Now having sold several paintings she's able to work full-time investing the money back into what she loves to do and she lives well without public funding and even gives back to charities to help other artists, something you can't do when your the one doing all the asking.

I really wish this book was about bring people together in more ways than just helping one artist but helping lots of people built a helping community of all different races and economic backgrounds. I wish it offered a through meaning of we come to the planet to be of service to ourselves and each other and as we move up we move, we move others up with us. I truly hope no one out there is sacrificing their dreams for someone else's comfort. I was really disappointed in this book. This is not the Buddhist way. "Only when you let go of everything can you gain anything"

Amanda Palmer is real, raw, beautiful, and exactly what we all need in our lives. Buy this novel. Buy ten of them. Then buy her husband's novels. Neil Gaiman. Hellava writer. Pretty sure their little son will be writing soon. Buy his book too.

I thought it was going to be interesting.
It is more than that. So much more I can’t even begin to think of words to convey what I wonderful act of love that book is.
Most famous person who write books talk about themselves.
Amanda show us who she really is, what she is, what she feels and think and live and by doing so, she write about all of us.
Buy it, read it, you won’t’ be disappointed.

Fantastic book! Incredibly emotional, funny and inspiring. As a fan of Amanda Palmer the musician, I am now a fan of Amanda Palmer the author. It is obvious she has put a tremendous amount of effort into the book and it shows. Would recommend to everybody!

I knew I would give this book five stars even before I started reading it. Being an Amanda Palmer fan for almost a decade now, I wasn't new to the concepts of Connecting the Dots, belonging to an amazing Community or trying to make peace with The Fraud Police. When I learned about the content of the book I was certain I would enjoy it immensely! For any fan (not even the hardcore kind), this seemed like it would be a nice summary of what we've known for years through her blog, tweets, gigs speeches, intimate meet and greets, etc. I had no expectations of anything more, yet even despite my blind faith that this was going to be an amazing read, it turned out to be even more than that.

Just when I thought Amanda couldn't get any more open and personal about her life, she did. Just when I thought she couldn't surprise me any more pleasantly about her view on things, she did. Just when I thought my meetings with her and the experiences we've shared couldn't feel any more precious, she managed to achieve that by putting everything in a larger-than-life perspective.

If you pick up a copy of this book, having been a fan of her various activities already, get ready for a strong validation of your admiration feelings towards that special relationship you know exists between you and her and the community. If on the other hand you receive this book, without having any idea what you're getting yourself into, I feel a bit envious of you, because you're in for a special treat!

The Art of Asking is an autobiography, self-help guide, novel, poetry book all wrapt up into one unapologetically generous shot of emotions right to the heart. A gift must always move yet somehow this book is a gift that will probably never leave you.

Just buy it and thank your lucky stars you did. The Art of Asking is a shot to the heart in the best way possible. It made me laugh and cry and ponder my own life and fall a little in love with Amanda Palmer.

Dear Amanda Fucking Palmer, thank you. Your book made me smile, and cry. Your humanity reminded of my own. Your vulnerability made me hungry, and your imperfection reminded me of mine. Your stories reverberated on mine. And the shivering waves reminded me of oh so many things -- of my procrastination on declaring revolution on my self-lands, and letting the excuse of lack of discipline to dawn to self resolution. I'm still poisoned by your writings. But they say the difference between medicine and poison is just the right dose. Your book is just the right dose. My Queen of Asking, your insecurity is my insecurity, your freak-out-ness is my freak-out-ness, your constant questioning about yourself is just as laughable as mine. We, the crazy ones (or the art-touched ones), tend to doubt ourselves, and read you was a precious and scary exercise of looking in a glistening mirror of perfect universal sovereignty. We have so much at stake, yet we wander away from ourselves so many times, stubbornly. You lighted a huge light transforming your book into a cornerstone of ontological consciousness. For all of that, please excuse my daring, your book is my book because we share the highest of arts -- we shall be much more interested in the questions, and let the answers shrivel around our connectedness. Let's ask. Amanda Fucking Palmer, I love you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 

No Comment would be the polite review, but I want to add a comment. First, I loved Amanda's Ted Talk. Bravo, well done! Amanda's book, a huge disappointment. I am disappointed at so many levels. She actually wrote the majority of this book (the foundation) in three weeks (she admits to this in the book) and the quality shows. Amanda's book is poorly written. She has some great ideas and concepts, but she's scattered and is unable to clearly state her point. I am most insulted that I spent the time and effort to read the book, but it shows that her true talent is in her music and networking, not writing. I felt cheated from my valuable time (I didn't have a choice because I was forced to read this book by my superiors that's another discussion.), I have read wonderful memoirs and personal stories like Persian Girls, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings or Living Down Stream, where Sandra Steinberg spent 4 years of her life completely devoted to writing this masterpiece. What I find most upsetting is "all the positive reviews." It is obvious that friends, fans, or paid reviewers have unjustly given this book a good review. It is unfair to other readers and to Amanda because Amanda should be held accountable for such a poor job!

I gotta hand it to her -- she is one step above the Kardashians in terms of talent, but more than their equal in chutzpah and ability to rip off the public. Do not give this fraud any more of your hard-earned money. Support art.

So grateful for this book. It's not only profound in the "Art of Asking", but brave and courageous in all the ways Amanda has lived and shared her beautiful heart and humanness with others. Thank you Amanda!

I have the the store Audible version of the book narrated by Amanda Palmer. I enjoy the narration. This book is very interesting and insightful and very important for everyone. I love her storytelling skills. Interesting insights on the music business. This book is very honest! Amanda Palmer addresses a problem important to all of us. I recommend this book without qualifications. I use the store Echo with Alexa. Great book!