Updated Edition - Verbal Judo - The Gentle Art of Persuasion

I found the ideas In there very similar to how I work as a crowd controller supervisor. It has given me more direction on how to refine my communication skills when dealing with the public as well as family members.
Love it

Pages smelt like that fresh book smell with a tad bit of a smell of dust. Since its paperback maybe sellers could wrap book in a cover when mailing out. Arrived with some minor tiny little scratches. That kind of bothered me a bit since I gave it away as a gift. Had I kept it for myself that wouldn't have bothered me. This 'new' updated version only has a cooler front page and a few more pages than the other version. Should have bought hardcover.

An easy and quick read with lots of useful tips on how to deal with people, especially the difficult type ; not only for Law Enforcement officers but for anyone serving the public or in a leadership position.

This book is very informative and shows how situations can usually be resolved with proper communication instead of having to resort to violence. It is well worth reading no matter what your occupation.

Very impressive. The author shares his vast experience from academia as an educator to the streets as a police officer. Great insight and hindsight. Very thought provoking. If you want to improve your relationships, interactions with people and create win/win outcomes, you will want to read, highlight and reread this one. An easy and entertaining read. Lots of nuggets of wisdom and handy memory aids to implement his proven, simple and brilliant techniques. Rich Kay, author of Small Simple Changes to Weight Loss and Weight Management. Small Simple Changes to Weight Loss and Weight Management

The book is great. I'm a note taker, though, and the pages are super thin. Highlighting bleeds right through. Notes tend to engrave through several pages. I would give it 5 stars if it was on white paper.

If you are a Manager, this is a good read and good info. if you are persnickety, this does read at a lower level.
Can you answer a "yes" or "no" question?
Is this the first time you beat your spouse?

the book is bigger then expected. i have one already and wanted another one to have incase i wanted to give it to someone else to read but i am unsure i want to. it is a waste of money to get this one.

Love this book! Have suggested it to many people and bought it for multiple members of my staff to improve their skills. This book is relatable and keeps you interested. It will help regardless of of the field you work in. I find myself reading it again and again to get a refresher.

In short - don't buy it.
At about page 50 you realize that 25 pages so far has been about how great the author is. He is a samurai, and he has black belts, and he did postdoc at Princeton. Now you and me would write this on one line in the resume, but this guy got talent. So literally half of the book is about these three facts, mixed with promises that knowing his technique, what he calls "verbal judo", will allow you to have better sex, self esteem and if you want to - 115% improvement of your cop work. It also heals stuff. And he got it from being a cop.
Now you would beg, beg to know the technique, hoping that at least it is explained in other half of the pages.
Nope, it is not. You get a few cop stories. And how speaking politely, but with authority saves the day. And then its back to the author having Ph.D., two black belts and masterhood of verbal judo. Wait, did I mention that he is a samurai killing machine?

Lots of anecdotes, lots of sales-talk about the value of verbal judo, but very little practical instruction. There is one section of what might be called verbal throws, but these dont seem like they will work in real life, e.g. telling your kids that they should go to bed at their bedtime because they'll be rested and feel better tomorrow, and that you have to be a good parent. Does that work on your kids? I read at least a third of the book before giving up on it. If I get a third of the way through a book and still havent learned anything of value I stop reading it.

The book has good information, but the reproduction quality is very low. This book is not high enough quality to withstand repeat readings. It is obvious the manufacturer used the lowest quality materials available.

The author was successful in borrowing from primary sources and rewriting in just an effective manner to not be considered plagiarizing in my opinion. There is nothing particularly insightful in the format or form of expression within. Taking account for my speed reading, I was able to read this particular text in detail in well under an hour with notations. Given the simplistic nature of the advice, and the fact much of it is repetitive, I can't in good conscience recommend this book. Save your money and time.

This book has a variety of practical advice, from an experienced cop. My problem? He sells his academic background and applies none of it here. Statements are made with objective overtones, the author's assumptions and prejudices mixed in poorly. Virtually no research apparently went into this book (i.e. no reference section), in spite of a vast literature in communication studies. It's great that you have experience, now how about backing up your experiences with published research and support from other domains? It's obvious in this day and age that even the most brilliant among us come with our own biases, and so a good author relies not just on their own apparent expertise, but support or refutation from the scientific community. High confidence does not equal high competence and the author would do well to take a moment to break down some of his assumptions, because any one of us could rather easily write a pseudo-authoritative book on communication from our own apparent experience. But, if you're convinced and are content with just taking the author's word for it, go ahead and buy this book.

Ugh, the author makes is very, very known that he was a cop. I'm having trouble finishing this book, due to sentences like this: "Three times his age, twice his size, and trained in martial arts and police tactics, I could have seriously injured him." Typical cop. He writes as a typical cop, too, as if he's above the law and talking to you from the 'trust me' or 'don't ask questions' pedestal.

Some of the tips are good and useful. Some tips feel like common sense.I can also feeI that this book is written for an american reader in mind. But it becomes very obvious as a non american. I would recommend this book anyway

I read this book to see what kind of material was being used to train police officers in effective communication, and to see if there was any material in the book that would be useful to participants in an anger management class I am teaching. There are some useful things in the book, such as the necessity of understanding a conflict from the other person's perspective, responding with what the situation calls for to create calmness rather than what your ego might want, and the time honored counseling technique of making sure that you understand what the other person is saying by paraphrasing it back to them and asking them if you have understood. It is also useful to point out that most of a message is in the tone of voice and the body language more than in the words themselves.

The book could have been shorter by about half if the authors would have spent less time hyping in the book how wonderful verbal judo is and how it is going to change things for the reader and more time just presenting the guts of what they have to say. This kind of self-congratulatory writing just seems feels like sales hype. I have already bought the book- quit the bs and get down to the substance of what you have to say. Additionally, I found it very concerning that the authors seem to feel that their readers will feel good by being negative, and that that is the reader's natural impulse. Let me share this quote in that context:

From a list of principles to keep in mind on page 220: "If it makes you feel good, no good. If you say the thing that makes you feel the best, nine times out of ten you are making a mistake. Sadly, it makes you feel good to stroke your own ego, to put somebody down, to tear into someone."

It does?

That isn't true about me, and I imagine it is also not true about about many people who will read this book. To make this assumption in a book that talks about communication skills seems like a pretty serious error.

Not what I was expecting. Good basic information for the beginner or those who deal with direct conflict on a daily basis. For the business setting with experience this was only of slight intrest and value. Will need to investigate the book for "business" application(s)

Welcome to America. Anybody can write a book. I guess it is a great read if you are a cop and want to listen about some communication tips, but this has no much applicability beyond that. Half of the book is about the author trying to validate himself, the other half is about an ill-constructed theory based on anecdotal experiences.

I'm about half way through the book and have almost lost my patience with it. Here's a few initial reactions:

1. The writer's opinions and methodology are derived almost entirely from his career in the police department. This, in itself, is fine. However, almost every bit of anecdotal evidence he provides for supporting his methods are police-related. This puts his claims immediately into question from a practical point of view. How often are our interpersonal relationships in any way related to those of the relationships between a cop and a belligerent motorist he's just pulled over? He goes to some length to speculate on how these methods might apply in a corporate or familial setting, but it doesn't inspire confidence in the reader to simply take his word for it. Cops live much different lives than most of us, and I am not feeling particularly confident that his methods universally apply in the civilian sphere as he claims.

2. The first 20 or so pages are spent basically selling the book's premise to the reader and explaining why developing verbal/argumentative skills are important. What a waste. I already purchased the book. I've bought the premise. Give me something to work with!

3. The writer is from a much older generation than me and his language reflects it. Words like "persnickety" come up on many occasions. Difficult to relate.

4. The co-author, Jerry B. Jenkins, was also co-author of the apocalyptic Christian dispensationalist end times series, "Left Behind." Had I bothered to look him up beforehand, I wouldn't have bothered buying this book. If the author in any way has religious fundamentalist beliefs, that casts massive doubt on his character and motivations. I'm inclined to toss the book in the trash because of this.

There are some more criticisms of the book that I'll simply let slide for the moment, as I think I've provided enough reason for you to avoid this mess. There are some tidbits of interesting perspectives and anecdotes included, but most of it is forgettable and likely not as useful as it sounds on the surface. Avoid.

This book would have been so much better had it avoided the "old wise Indian" and "wise samurai" tropes. There were decent communication tips in the book that I've come across through "peaceful parenting" and other nonviolent communication resources, so I don't think there's anything radical in Verbal Judo. However, it may very well be written in the kind of pseudo-macho tones that appeal to certain people or certain professions. I'm just not one of them. I struggled to finish it but finish it, I did.

Overall, it's a quick read & written in easy to understand language. There are numerous examples of how the author used "verbal judo" in real life situations. However, I won't recommend this book to any of my friends.

One individual's personal opinions on matters with no context. Not generalizable to a larger population, no research or bona fides of expertise. Poorly written, needs editing for grammar, punctuation, language, and organization. Other books are much, much better on the topic.

How did 215 people give this book five stars? Honestly, have these people never read a good book before! Everyone commenting that this book is over the top and self aggrandizing is completely right. Anything that comes close to advice on being persuasive is one dimensional and could be summed up with one sentence bullet points. Comedians like Jerry Seinfeld and Colbert have made fun of self help books, which this is, for actually increasing the reads depression and after reading this books I can completely see why. Trust me when I tell you to save your money and don't buy this bad book.

It does give advice but the art of verbal judo is something that requires lots of practice and can't be easily attained. I also don't think its entirely necessary, if people were more straight forward and did not get so butt hurt because you didn't stroke there ego we would be better off in this world. Just my 2 cents, but it might help some I just don't agree with the message

Like most people who read this book, the technique is valuable but the book leaves a lot to be desired. While the book does offer some good approaches that show the overall system, at times it feels like a sale pitch for the seminar. There might be a need for that since it might be better to actually learn through action rather than learning. However, just as chemists do experiments that first must read and learn the underlying material before setting about to learn through experience.

That is not to say there isn't good information in this book. There are some good practical changes to approaching situations that are valuable. The author usually brings up situations from police work, customer service, or interpersonal relationships. However, another flaw of the book is that it almost assumes the reader is a police officer and so the use of force is always a last resort option. If one doesn't believe that changes the dynamic of a conversation, that would be incorrect. The book does go into non-police situations using the points he brings up for police situations, however, the author doesn't always give you other avenues or "when all else fails" for non-police situations.

This is a valuable book that can help you with giving more approaches to a situation, there just needs to be more in the actual book. Final Grace - C+

I was given this book when I first joined the Army one week after 9/11. I have bought and loaned out about half a dozen copies and am responsible for it being required reading for Warrior Leadership Training in a few location in Europe.

This book is excellent for anyone in a career in law enforcement civilian or military. This book taught myself and many others effective communication techniques that will save lives, handle crisis and defuse hostile situations! That is not an exaggerated claim either. I made this book one of my squads required reading and used it anytime we had a need for training specifically communication training. Later I helped implement this book at several leadership schools as part of the training of junior enlisted soldiers completing required leadership training.

If you work with the public in any way shape or form this book will offer something for you. It doesn't matter if your a grocery store clerk, security guard, ride operator at the fair or even someone who doesn't interact with the public.

This book has great Inter-personal communication benefits as well. You will use techniques from this book on your children and also to help you communicate with your spouse or family members. It does not have to be a crisis to be used effectively.

This book will give you the confidence to speak clearly and effectively Make your points known whether it's with your child, a suicidal patient or a member of the public upset with your company's performance. I have used things from this book to save lives many times. This book has allowed me to deal with John Q Public & Jane Civilian in all types of crisis, environments and emotional states!

I cannot stress enough how valuable this book can be in the right hands. This book allowed me as a young man to communicate in highly stressful situations like combat and marriage with confidence and clarity that few other books could!

Buy this book! I do not care if it is 30$ I have bought atleast 5-6 copies of this book and loaned em out repeatedly. This book is worth more than any monetary price you will pay for it!

One individual's personal opinions on matters with no context. Not generalizable to a larger population, no research or bona fides of expertise. Poorly written, needs editing for grammar, punctuation, language, and organization. Other books are much, much better on the topic.

How did 215 people give this book five stars? Honestly, have these people never read a good book before! Everyone commenting that this book is over the top and self aggrandizing is completely right. Anything that comes close to advice on being persuasive is one dimensional and could be summed up with one sentence bullet points. Comedians like Jerry Seinfeld and Colbert have made fun of self help books, which this is, for actually increasing the reads depression and after reading this books I can completely see why. Trust me when I tell you to save your money and don't buy this bad book.

It does give advice but the art of verbal judo is something that requires lots of practice and can't be easily attained. I also don't think its entirely necessary, if people were more straight forward and did not get so butt hurt because you didn't stroke there ego we would be better off in this world. Just my 2 cents, but it might help some I just don't agree with the message

Like most people who read this book, the technique is valuable but the book leaves a lot to be desired. While the book does offer some good approaches that show the overall system, at times it feels like a sale pitch for the seminar. There might be a need for that since it might be better to actually learn through action rather than learning. However, just as chemists do experiments that first must read and learn the underlying material before setting about to learn through experience.

That is not to say there isn't good information in this book. There are some good practical changes to approaching situations that are valuable. The author usually brings up situations from police work, customer service, or interpersonal relationships. However, another flaw of the book is that it almost assumes the reader is a police officer and so the use of force is always a last resort option. If one doesn't believe that changes the dynamic of a conversation, that would be incorrect. The book does go into non-police situations using the points he brings up for police situations, however, the author doesn't always give you other avenues or "when all else fails" for non-police situations.

This is a valuable book that can help you with giving more approaches to a situation, there just needs to be more in the actual book. Final Grace - C+

I was given this book when I first joined the Army one week after 9/11. I have bought and loaned out about half a dozen copies and am responsible for it being required reading for Warrior Leadership Training in a few location in Europe.

This book is excellent for anyone in a career in law enforcement civilian or military. This book taught myself and many others effective communication techniques that will save lives, handle crisis and defuse hostile situations! That is not an exaggerated claim either. I made this book one of my squads required reading and used it anytime we had a need for training specifically communication training. Later I helped implement this book at several leadership schools as part of the training of junior enlisted soldiers completing required leadership training.

If you work with the public in any way shape or form this book will offer something for you. It doesn't matter if your a grocery store clerk, security guard, ride operator at the fair or even someone who doesn't interact with the public.

This book has great Inter-personal communication benefits as well. You will use techniques from this book on your children and also to help you communicate with your spouse or family members. It does not have to be a crisis to be used effectively.

This book will give you the confidence to speak clearly and effectively Make your points known whether it's with your child, a suicidal patient or a member of the public upset with your company's performance. I have used things from this book to save lives many times. This book has allowed me to deal with John Q Public & Jane Civilian in all types of crisis, environments and emotional states!

I cannot stress enough how valuable this book can be in the right hands. This book allowed me as a young man to communicate in highly stressful situations like combat and marriage with confidence and clarity that few other books could!

Buy this book! I do not care if it is 30$ I have bought atleast 5-6 copies of this book and loaned em out repeatedly. This book is worth more than any monetary price you will pay for it!

I would echo those commenters who complain about the author's endless promotion of himself and his qualifications and background, and how great the system is. 100 pages in to a 200-page book, and he's still telling you why you should read the book. Dude, you got me, get on with it already. The organization is also a problem. In between the few bits of concrete advice, the author weaves rather sloppily between the aforementioned self-promotion, vague and obvious commandments like not losing your calm, repeating himself, and cop stories of dubious relevance. Instead of telling me how awesome it was that time you defused a situation, tell me how I can do the same.

I think the average intelligent reader would get more value out of starting with the five maxims on the back cover:
People feel the need to be respected
People would rather be asked than be told
People have a desire to know why
People prefer to have options over threats
People want to have a second chance

and extrapolating their own communication style and techniques from there. Oh, and it'll save you $14 and reading 200 pages of fluff.

If you are an over educated, self righteous person who over looks everything and needs bright colors to understand what the function of something is, this book is not for you. It takes time to develop "Verbal Judo" and this book lays the foundation very clearly by the late author George Thompson. I have been using my perceptions of the incidents and situations in this book for over 10 years and can say today that I am a master at verbal judo. I have been to seminars with the author and workshops. I have used his methods as a police officer, personal protection specialist, bouncer and now in management.

If you seem to get the bigger picture and understand the value of instructions for you to spin off your own style of a method then this book will be a good suit for you. If you are dealing with anyone or many persons this book will help you.

Like the author states, it doesn't matter what you feel or what your heart feels. It matters that the person is doing what you want them to do by the tactfull words coming out of your dangerous mouth.

This book mostly has applications to law enforcement, but really anyone can benefit from this. This is especially true if your job involves any sort of persuasion in order to achieve results. There are lots of real life examples and going along with what another review said, yes, it is pretty simplified. Sometimes I found myself wanting him to go more in depth on a few concepts. Overall, the book was absolutely incredible and this one will be one I read multiple times over the course of my career as a refresher tool. 10/10 can't recommend this highly enough for someone who could use this on a daily basis. In my opinion, pretty much anyone could use this on a daily basis. The added chapter at the end is like 3.5 pages long so it's not the end of the world if you get the first edition over the revised edition. Do yourself a favor and get this book and pass it around once you've read it. Essential for law enforcement.

Did you ever experience a situation when you talked to somebody and for one reason or another you were not heard? When you or your message was ignored or dismissed? I'm sure it didn't matter if the conversation involved your spouse, your children or your colleagues, the resulting feeling was equally intimidating and frustrating.

Mr. Thompson is an English literature professor who became a cop. Rest assured this man knows what he is talking about. The content of his book is very practical. It tells you how to deal with nice, difficult and whimpy people. It outlines what you shouldn't say in case you want to avoid conflict. You will understand that in certain situations a carefully conducted dialog can save lives.

When the starting position is one of conflict you want to create a raport. What do you say to defensive, fearful, impatient people? Do you lash out or are you aware of your purpose? Can you control your mind and your feelings enough to win your point?

You do not need to sport a uniform and a gun to put this technique into practice. It is about human contact, dignity and respect.
Mr. Thompson will teach you how to get your message across in a most effective way. However, be prepared to practice diligently, make mistakes and learn from them.
Verbal communication can be both serious and fun.

Quote:
'A man holding hostages once told me, "I want a million dollars and an airplane!"
I said, "So do I!" and I laughed. [---] I went on, "Sir we'd both like those things, wouldn't we ? But let me tell you something I think you already know. That's not going to happen.'

Who knows, you might need the same approach and attitude as a cilivian at home while talking to your teenager who's unwilling to hear you out and cooperate. But be prepared, the kid might use the same technique, Verbal Judo!

Like many books, I first came upon this book, because it was referenced in an article. And I have since read this book many times.

Just saying verbal judo to others gets a laugh. However, this is a very serious and valuable book.

Have you ever walked away from someone, telling yourself, "Next time ... I am going to be prepared. Next time, he or she will not get me. I will be ready?"

What mastering verbal judo takes is for you to be fully in the moment, conscious of who you are, and not only conscious of what you are experiencing, in the presence of your interlocutor, but also willing to to use your interlocutor's energy to redirect what they expressed to you from something destructive to something mutually empowering.

I have taught myself to smile, on the inside, and to even, ever so slightly nod, when someone has insulted me. This is my anchor, if you will, to breath my way to using their insult to defuse what just happened.

Here's an example, "Calm Down!"

My Verbal Judo response: (said in a calm, relaxed demeanor) "I am as calm as I know how to be, right now. And with your help, I can be more calm. Are you ready?"

This response is an acknowledgement of your interlocutor, and it is a declaration of your self-respect. This is teaching your interlocutor how to treat you well.

Another example is, "You think too much!"

My Verbal Judo Response is, "Yes. I do think a great deal. And I thank you for your disguise compliment, because thinking for myself is so important to me."

My response told this person that I value who I am, and that I appreciate his or her awareness of what matters to me.

Over the years, because I use life as a human lab, I have created several real life examples of how to respond, instead of reacting to manipulative people, or as Scott Peck would call, "evil people."

An additional tool in my being able to do this was when I read John Bradshaw's, "Healing the Shame That Binds You."

I learned what stops a person from being able to master verbal judo, in the present moment, really is fear (false, education, appearing real). And when you realize that your conscious mind is telling your subconscious mind what to do, you are free to tell your conscious mind that although you have just been attacked, this is your opportunity to teach this person to take their self-hate somewhere else.

Read this book as a tool to get more out of your life. The authors are humorous, wise and compassionate. And the book is so easy to follow that you will be compelled to master the lessons.

Although I watched the video series, rather than read his book, I'm sure you will be very happy with this book. Dr. Thompson teaches some very usefull techniques for dealing with potentially hostile people. The verbal judo series, while somewhat hard to take in at first due to his demeanor, is well worth the investment. The series is especially usefull to those whom work in a law enforcement field. As a dispatcher, I find the techniques I learned from the Dr. indespensible. WOOSHA!

This is an essential tool for law enforcement personnel. Although the author has not spent enough time in the law enforcement field to be considered an expert, he has lived long enough in this world to be classified an expert in life. This book has brought me closer with understanding the individuals who I have to deal with everyday. I would recomend this book to anyone remotely associated with the law enforcement profession.

Verbal Judo tells it like it is and tells us a better way to do it. Informative as it is entertaining. An easy read that I recommend to all the "misunderstood" as well as every marriage on the planet. Kudos and thanks to the author!

The concepts are relevant at their core. This book has a lot of filler and reads like a self help book. It's a pet peeve of mine when authors break down the etymology of words for effect. The concepts of verbal persuasion seem more applicable to communicating more effectively with my wife and kids and perhaps the corporate world, more than it does law enforcement, which is the opposite of what I expected.

I just finished the book and found it very good. As I read it I realized I had been in some of the situations and had I known some Verbal Judo may have had a different result. Alot of the stories in the book pertain to police using VJ to gain voluntary compliance from some one without things getting out of hand. Doc Rhino gives you all the training in the book you need to be a great communicator. You don't have to be in Law enforcment or Security to get alot from this book I recommend this book for anybody that deals with people on a daily basis, especially difficult people. This book teaches you what words not to say to people as well as how to deflect verbal attacks.

Its all in the book ,steps on how to be a master communicator all you have to do is train yourself to think differently and apply it. Thats the hard part.

Verbal Judo could also be subtitled: "Hide Your Distain, Contempt, Fear and Hatred of People with These Few Simple Steps, Even Though You'd Much Rather Just Beat The Snot Out Of 'Em." It's less an instructual tool than it is a shameless display of the arrogance that makes some people dislike police officers and question the motives for their choice in careers.
Chapter One has a good story about a very creative cop who, when responding to a neighbors' complaint of a domestic aurgument which threatens to turn violent, simply drives up to the the house, opens the door, walks right into the room where the shouting is taking place, sits down on the couch, picks up a newspaper, finds something in the classified section and asks one of the argue-ees where's the phone? The couple is so dumbfounded: "Who is this policeman, and why is he sitting on our couch asking for the phone?", that the fight ends peacefully and no one gets hurt.
But that's about it for enjoyable, instructional reading. The rest of the book? I dunno. The author classifies all people as being in one of three catagories: Nice people, difficult people, and wimps. I felt a certain amoumt of pomposity come through his writing; maybe it's my own problem, or maybe I'm just hacked about qualifying for the wimp catagory.
This may be a good book if your learning police tactics on how to get a drunk and angry guy off a roof, out of his car, or produce a drivers license. If not, better you should read, "Tongue Fu!", by Sam Horn. I found that book more humane.

This book was recommended to me at my first Peer Support Specialist Training. After reading the first couple of chapters I knew why it was recommended - working in a Mental Health facility and in the department with all the Clients having just been released from Prison it works wonders. Working with People can sometimes be a big challenge and this book levels the playing field a lot.

I believe that Mr. Thompson has been able to articulate his street experiences, both as a university professor and as a law enforcement officer pretty well. The advice that he gives makes sence and would probably work in most situations. I believe that his points could have been made more concisely and in a society where many are very busy, the book would have been more "readable" had he gotten to the point more quickly. Overall, the material is well done and functional.

This is an excellent book about how diffuse situations with a calm mind and calmer tongue. The author provides examples from his own life about how to employ the techniques that he teaches. While the technique seems overly simple, it works! This is a must-read for people who find themselves unable to verbally deal with difficult people.

This book teaches a better and more amicable way of approaching and handling encounters with other individuals. It is a good read for anyone involved in sales, law enforcement, or just daily life, and especially anyone encountering a situation that might involve personal violence.