Help and Guidance for Today's Generation - The New Codependency

My boyfriend thought it would be a good read for us since we clicked and carried on rather quickly in our budding relationship. It was a great read with a lot to think about! We're engaged now and I think this book has secrets on how to be successful partners in a relationship that everyone should learn.

This was the exact inspirations I needed at this time. If you need a great book on understanding codependency this is it. Years ago I read her previous books, they changed my life. I had forgotten the wise lessons I had learned, and found I returned to that place once again where I needed a clear path to follow. Thank you so much for your updated stirrings.

This book has been so helpful...more helpful than her first book. I actually listened to this book on audible (audiobook) and got the hard copy for the helpful quizzes. When I'm feeling all crazy and can't figure out why then I do the quizzes in the back. I highly recommend this book for anyone with controlling tendencies or recovering from a relationship with an addict/alcoholic.

This is a very good book about ways that is changing with new behaviors revealed. Written by Melody in a way you can understand because she's been there, done that & can see new ways for recovery. I do recommend reading,"Codependant no more", & "Beyond codependency", first in order to grow with the program.

I read her original edition and found it somewhat helpful. This "guide" seems filled with apologies for whatever she heard was not quite accepted in her first book. It's almost like she's written a book filled with her codependent issues regarding her readers with an effort to please them.

This is a great book for folks who have family or work place issues with drama, manipulation, blame, and boundaries. It also addresses true & false guilt, as well as the wide variety of emotions many of us no longer feel (or have snuffed out). Best quotes: do one brave thing a week & do something that scares everyone else!

I don't know that I ever read her other books, but I had a lot of exposure to 12 step programs and co-dependency in the 80s. I have really enjoyed reviewing all of that thinking. If you are in a place where you are looking for some clarity and introspection, this is a really good book. Well written and structured, with activities and assessment tests included, to help guide you in the application of these principles in your own life. I think this would be a really good book for anyone looking to make positive changes no matter how great or small. I also highly recommend it to anyone who has some one in their lives making these types of changes. Very good to read with someone as well. My husband and I are enjoying it together.

Reading this as I continue my journey to recovery. Helpful & insightful as always but I prefer her first two books in this series. If you haven't read those books you might not get a lot out of this book.

Highly recommend for adult survivors of child abuse. It will help reveal your learned behaviors that don't serve you and help you cultivate ones that do. It is helping me learn to feel again instead of numbing everything out.

My wife & I have been reading it together at bedtime. It has been very enlightening in showing us how we (both of us) can help break the entrapment of codepency. This entrapment is every family's own dilemma. We, as well as others worldwide, experience it on a daily basis. Anyone can find helpful advice by reading this book.

Once again Melody Beattie has roughed my heart with her compassionate and loving way that she is able to pour her heart out into the delicate subject of codependancy. Her life experiences are so eloquently revealed in the pages of this book. This is a very complex and confusing subject, and she finds a way to make it so easy to understand. So much healing happens why you read her books.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who has a problem with a relative, a friend or anyone he or she wants to "fix" of an addiction of any kind. Even though I have gone to many meetings in the 12 step programs, this book serves as a reminder of how I can release them with love and not have to suffer along with them. Very good reading.

I absolutely LOVE and appreciate this author for updating her already significant contributions to making my life better. I keep this handy on my Kindle and refer to it several times a week. It is enlightening and helpful to ANYONE who wants to live a healthier, happier life!!!

I highly recommend this book to anyone who has a problem with a relative, a friend or anyone he or she wants to "fix" of an addiction of any kind. Even though I have gone to many meetings in the 12 step programs, this book serves as a reminder of how I can release them with love and not have to suffer along with them. Very good reading.

I absolutely LOVE and appreciate this author for updating her already significant contributions to making my life better. I keep this handy on my Kindle and refer to it several times a week. It is enlightening and helpful to ANYONE who wants to live a healthier, happier life!!!

Its the first book on codependency i read and it was very insightful. I specially liked the authors take on spiritual growth and trusting a Higher Power. I recommend this to everyone who is seeking to heal old wounds of abuse or self-neglect.

This newer book after Melody Beattie's "Codependent No More" seems to apply more-so to the population that is not abusing drugs or alcohol, who may or may not have relatives with substance abuse problems, or may have relatives who are adult children of substance abusers. I personally have not been affected a whole lot by substance abusers nor have I abused any substance, BUT this book is required reading for getting along with yourself & others, & finding greatly needed peace & quiet within our own bodies in this high-tech, high-stress world. Beattie states this newer book is updated from her prior book, updating information & techniques & understanding of codependency. I found this book absolutely, completely essential for healing with regard to difficult people in my life & getting along with others, including seeing the times where I have been thus difficult :) There was one chapter that smacked me upside the ego & I cried, knowing that it was true for me, & healing began. Everyone who has a pulse will find themselves in these pages somewhere, & will find it a springboard/diving board to catapult from chaos & disorder back to an ordered peaceful life, especially in the realms of social media havoc that can ruin or enrich people's lives. I highly recommend this book.

This book is newer and far more relevant to my situation. It does cover much of the stuff in Codependent no more, but from a more mature state of mind. Not really sure how to explain it. If you read the first two and feel like this is you but something isn't right or there must be more. Read this one, it should help.

Melody Beattie's "The New Codependency" is one of the best books I have ever read. I Love Melody for writing this book. The New Codependency is filled with Life Changing information. It would not suprise me if her book has helped save someones life.

Peace and Love Melody,

Please keep writing such wonderful books.

Freddie J. Ferrara
Houston Texas

Just remember, if you have been "abused" this author is not in favor of you holding on to the victim role. Get ready for some change, otherwise, this makes good toilet paper for camping if you don't plan to take action. It's refreshing, and, yes, i am in need of major change.

I love melanie beattie she touches the very heart of my difficulties. Very concise on how we are to move through our feelings and gives me a lot of guidance and wisdom and grace. I recommend it to anyone who feels like their life is not their own

I would have found this book easier to read had the author not merged addiction and codependency. I may have some codependency behaviors to change but I do not have addiction issues. These chapters were depressing and in my opinion deviated from the topic of the book a separate book should be written for those. Having these two issues linked.

This is a great book. It's been around in other additions for a long time and comes highly recommended by mental health professionals. The content is relevant to many interpersonal relationships and allows readers to feel empowered to take back control.

book! To any of you facing dealing with co-dependency it is not an easy topic to think of or discuss. But I will share with you that this book does make it a little more easier to handle. Somewhat. Not a lot at first. But a little. It does open your eyes to a knew world you never thought would be possible and you discover a true happiness finally. Melody Beattie is brilliant. This is a must read and must have book.

I was already a Melody Beattie fan. I expected this book to kind of rehash her previous books on codependency; thankfully, that is not the case! She told her own story, and spoke more from the heart in this book than her earlier ones. If you only read one, this is it!

After reading Codependent No More, I was excited to continue my personal journey of growth and sel-discovery, but this is not the book to assist in that. It is too general and vague in addressing areas that one might relate to. I am tremendously disappointed.

I find with Melodie Beattie, that I can't go wrong with her books. I love everything she has ever written and this is no exception. As years go by, we do change and grow, and this book is a reflection of that. A very helpful book for anybody interested in personal growth.

I was already a Melody Beattie fan. I expected this book to kind of rehash her previous books on codependency; thankfully, that is not the case! She told her own story, and spoke more from the heart in this book than her earlier ones. If you only read one, this is it!

After reading Codependent No More, I was excited to continue my personal journey of growth and sel-discovery, but this is not the book to assist in that. It is too general and vague in addressing areas that one might relate to. I am tremendously disappointed.

I find with Melodie Beattie, that I can't go wrong with her books. I love everything she has ever written and this is no exception. As years go by, we do change and grow, and this book is a reflection of that. A very helpful book for anybody interested in personal growth.

Presents a needed update on thinking regarding codependency. This book addressed many of the problems I've had with the concepts of "codependency" over the years. Activities and quizzes give reader a way to put ideas into action in their lives. Probably not for someone new to Melody Beattie's work or learning about codependency in general - start at the beginning with Codependent No More or the daily readers. A strong addition to Melody's library.

After reading Women Who Love too Much, Codependent No More, Beyond Codependency, I still felt had unsolved issues and unanswered questions. This book answered them all! My realization of its success was after months when I realized its positive super effect on me. I watched my gradual behaviour change which made me a happier person. The friends who I passed this book over also feel relieved about their unsolved and leftout issues after reading it. I advise it to everyone who feel they need to read a bit more about Codependency...

Didn't speak to my experiences, felt meandering and lots of personal voice from the author about her journey as an author. Didn't like it. I would much more recommend the original text on co-dependency written 20 years ago, not this updated version.

SO did not like this book. I remember reading her first book and it really resonated with me. This book was all over the map and felt like a selfish, complaining, negative tirade. Absolutely do not recommend. Waste of money.

This book gives an updated view of the concept of Codependency. Although previous books on the subject are useful, a slightly new perspective does come in handy in this current climate. I can't say it was entirely for me, but it does have a lot of general information that could benefit readers.

Melody Beattie writes very practical, useful books that are so helpful to those dealing with this topic. The mixture of personal stories, questions to ponder and content to think about is wonderful and has never disappointed me.

I needed this book for my pastoral care class. I received the book immediately after placing order.
The service was fast. The book was brand new. The seller exceeded my expectations. I would buy from them again. My friend, I give you five STARS. Thank you!

Beattie does a thorough job describing codependency, especially with her experience and knowledge gained over the past several years. She focuses on codependent relationships with alcoholics/addicts, which is fine, but that isn't my case, so those portions weren't too helpful.
I suggest reading it if codependency is a struggle for you or someone you know, but I also encourage you to read it carefully. She is presenting what she knows as true, but what she knows and has experienced may be very different than what you have. So I wouldn't trust this book for 100% accuracy.

Also: Beattie speaks out against anti-depressants and other medications very often in the book, even though she says she isn't against it. Please do not let her words stop you from seeking medical help for your depression or anxiety or anything. You CAN still feel your emotions on anti-depressants! Healing from your pain without medication isn't more honorable. Please let doctors help you and let them determine if that is something that can help you through your healing.

Beattie is prolix and rambles. I didn't find this book particularly well-organized, but if you like Oprah, you'll like this book. Beattie is spiritual and psychologized. She's able to connect emotionally. She shares her childhood traumas, (not in detail) her drug use and recovery, and her codependency with an alcoholic first husband. She's overcome a lot and lived "meaningfully," as she puts it. Writing it down was her way of overcoming her obsession with codependency. You may gain more from this book if you first read at least one of her earlier books on codependency. The New Codependency assumes you have, and you probably have if the subject interests you because Beattie books are almost obligatory for persons in support groups.
The heart of codependency is caretaking, says Beattie. It may go from normal behavior to over the line if you neglect self-care and self-appreciation. Beattie looks to her center and trusts her intuition; she lets Life teach her. God fits in there somewhere too. Meet him through prayer and meditation, her favorite activities for staying balanced in "Life," as she spells it.
While speed-reading the book, I caught an early gem: choose to look at people hurting you as your teachers rather than your enemies. That's worth meditating. Making this book practical, the author includes activities at the end of every chapter, and Section III includes scored quizzes and assessments of your own codependency, or lack thereof.
The fourth and final section deals with feelings and how handling them has changed in therapy. "Permissions therapy" is the structure Beattie uses. She wants people to feel their feelings and then use the "catch and release" method of dealing with them.
Did she accomplish her goal of identifying how codependency has changed since her first book? When I'd finished the book, I couldn't recall what she'd said was new, so I found her brief treatment of said subject was covered on p. 32-34. Apparently codependents have become more sophisticated, are likely to be medicating their feelings, and cell phones now disallow detachment and facilitate control issues. The rest of the book is extemporaneous preaching to the choir.

Honestly, I was highly offended reading the first half of this book. The author repeats herself then contradicts herself. Her examples are terrible. I am unable to relate to anything because he examples are for those who are recovering from drug or alcohol addiction! I can’t open the book while riding the train because the advice is for “recovering addicts” ... the person next to me on the train would easily assume “aww she used to be addicted to drugs.” I tossed this book to the side.

TNC is a book that I believe anyone who is battling the throws of codependency should read. Codependent No More, was very much like a bible to me, during my early years of codependent recovery. Melody Beattie hits the nails on the head in both books, but I found that TNC proved to be clearer about what codependency is and is not.

TNC helped me to understand that codependency is more about degrees of thoughts and behaviors than it is about what may be the right way to think or the wrong way to act.

We all like to please others, but the question becomes, to what degree? When does helping others go over the line, and delve into the murky waters of codependency?

If you are looking for a clearer understanding of what codependency is, this book is for you.

You will not be disappointed.

Namaste...

Lisa A. Romano

This book is ok, she means well but I'm sad to say that she is very negative and judgemental about antidepressants in this book. Many people may discouraged from seeking medical help after reading, many that could benefit from medication. I know that just reading this book could not have saved people I've lost to suicide when antidepressants could have. I'm sorry Melody but you are contributing to the stigma surrounding mental healthcare, specifically antidepressants by implying that those who use them are dependent on more drugs/numbing themselves (an incredibly archaic view of antidepressants more representative of misuse of them) and are taking a path less admirable or ideal then just roughing it out on your own with some self help books. Some people truly suffer from a chemical imbalance and need antidepressants the way other people may need insulin or thyroid medication. The brain is a complex organ that gets sick too and that matter should not be taken lightly.

I was new to dealing with codependency when I got this book and another by another author. I never finished the other book, and am now reading Melody's for the 2nd time.(in 2 weeks)I don't even know where to begin on how amazing this book is. How much she helped me to understand about myself. She has a way of explaining things to you where you understand. Friends and doctors have told me the same things for years, but reading her book put it all together for me. This book helped me to see that I am ok just the way I am. To love myself. To stop hating my past and present self. I have this new amazing content peaceful feeling that I have never known before. I have my life back, and maybe for the first time ever. It feels amazing! I don't feel alone anymore. I don't feel like a crazy weirdo anymore.

My psychotherapist recommended this book the day she explained the term "codependent" to me. This has been the most influential book of my life. My thought process and the way I feel about myself have completely changed for the positive. I am an inpatient person and rarely finish a book but I am looking forward to re-reading this one.

This is exactly what I was hoping it would be. Beattie's book gives it to me in a straight-forward approach: Four sections unapologetically guiding me through understanding, recognizing, dealing with, and fixing my co-dependent self. Extremely helpful for me.

This is an incredible book. A labor of love and truth. So much experience in life and to be able to write it on the page for others is an amazing gift. I recommend this to all. Especially if you are in a 12 step program and even if your not...it's universal truth.

Another amazing book from Melody. She's an amazing person, spiritual advisor, and guide for anyone who wants to have healthy relationships; especially with the relationship that matters the most- The one with yourself.

I highly recommend this book for anyone who has a friend or family member with the disease of addiction. Melody Beattie has done a fine job with it and I just ordered two more for friends in need of it.

Best of health to all.

Love this book. I am a therapist and this book was good for me to read personally and great for clients! It is very user friendly, profound and yet simply explained. I will definitely ready Codependent No More now! I recommend it to anyone!

Honestly, I've obtained better, more useful and in-depth information on the internet than in this book. The assessments were a challenge, because often the question would be 4 sentences long with contradictory ideas which made it confusing and almost impossible to rate and score accurately. Trying to make the questions double as affirmations was also a big mistake.

The book seemed to drag on, and offered pointless examples that served no real purpose to a reader looking to learn how to manage co-dependency. I empathize with the tremendous amount of pain the author has been through, but she doesn't really do anything to offer advice for readers besides "read Co-Dependent No More" (her previous book); in fact, it seemed her ONLY advice was to read her previous book and work on affirmations. Glad I didn't waste my money on this book and instead borrowed it from the library. Waste of time.

I know nothing more about co-dependency, and nothing more on how to manage it. Another reviewer mentioned a religious slant in this book, which I agree made it difficult to want to follow, but "trusting in God" etc. is the main theme of the CoDA 12 steps, so it's understandable... just wish that the author didn't include her personal issues regarding God, etc... it only worked to exclude readers who are non-religious or Agnostic.

Don't waste more time on this book than necessary. If you come across it somewhere, flip through it and see if it could be of any help to you, but i warn you: there is a lot of crap to go through to get one itty bitty nugget of help, if any. Many of the examples in the book were unnecessary, it came off as just a book she threw together to make a few bucks.

This is an incredible book. A labor of love and truth. So much experience in life and to be able to write it on the page for others is an amazing gift. I recommend this to all. Especially if you are in a 12 step program and even if your not...it's universal truth.

Another amazing book from Melody. She's an amazing person, spiritual advisor, and guide for anyone who wants to have healthy relationships; especially with the relationship that matters the most- The one with yourself.

I highly recommend this book for anyone who has a friend or family member with the disease of addiction. Melody Beattie has done a fine job with it and I just ordered two more for friends in need of it.

Best of health to all.

Love this book. I am a therapist and this book was good for me to read personally and great for clients! It is very user friendly, profound and yet simply explained. I will definitely ready Codependent No More now! I recommend it to anyone!

Honestly, I've obtained better, more useful and in-depth information on the internet than in this book. The assessments were a challenge, because often the question would be 4 sentences long with contradictory ideas which made it confusing and almost impossible to rate and score accurately. Trying to make the questions double as affirmations was also a big mistake.

The book seemed to drag on, and offered pointless examples that served no real purpose to a reader looking to learn how to manage co-dependency. I empathize with the tremendous amount of pain the author has been through, but she doesn't really do anything to offer advice for readers besides "read Co-Dependent No More" (her previous book); in fact, it seemed her ONLY advice was to read her previous book and work on affirmations. Glad I didn't waste my money on this book and instead borrowed it from the library. Waste of time.

I know nothing more about co-dependency, and nothing more on how to manage it. Another reviewer mentioned a religious slant in this book, which I agree made it difficult to want to follow, but "trusting in God" etc. is the main theme of the CoDA 12 steps, so it's understandable... just wish that the author didn't include her personal issues regarding God, etc... it only worked to exclude readers who are non-religious or Agnostic.

Don't waste more time on this book than necessary. If you come across it somewhere, flip through it and see if it could be of any help to you, but i warn you: there is a lot of crap to go through to get one itty bitty nugget of help, if any. Many of the examples in the book were unnecessary, it came off as just a book she threw together to make a few bucks.

This book was a waste of money! I didn't find any helpful advice. It seems that Melody Beatie is trying to rehash her very successful prior books on co-dependency but does not have anything new to add. I was very disappointed. Don't waste your money on this book.

I found this book to have some good insight, but, with a clearly religious slant to it. I was very bothered by the explicit sexual abuse stories that it contains and did not find them helpful, but, disturbing and potentially damaging to readers. It seemed to me as though the author began with a good concept, but, lost her way as the book progressed. I would not recommend this book, especially to people in therapy for sexual abuse.

The book had a black slash across the pages on the outside. Some pages were folded. It didn't matter to me b/c I bought the bk. for myself. But people should know. The content is not just an update of the previous book. She updates her focus to selfishness which she thinks is the new boundary issue, self preoccupation.